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GTA Tony's Way

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deadsliez1
  • deadsliez1

    Godfather Ivanov.

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#1

Posted 21 December 2011 - 10:54 PM

*Logo Will Come Soon*



Prologue


Well, I'm back in the city again. I was in the madhouse for about eight years. For possession of that good old Nuke. Nuke is the new way to get high in the old days. Just inject a little in your neck and you'll be high ass hell. But now I'm back from that hell hole. I'm in the land of opportunity again and I'm gonna tell you, it's changed. The streets are way light. When did Italians rule the place? I remembered when the McReary's used to run this joint. I remember when we used to get so much Nuke. Now all you see around here is potheads. Mary Jane is nothing compared to Nuke. My life is about to turn into a new direction. I want to try to make something for myself. I am going to leave my old memories in the past. Old mighty Liberty is a fresh start for me...




XxIrishBlizzardxX
  • XxIrishBlizzardxX

    [TSA] Remnant.

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#2

Posted 26 December 2011 - 03:36 AM

QUOTE (deadsliez1 @ Wednesday, Dec 21 2011, 22:54)
*Logo Will Come Soon*



Prologue


Well, I'm back in the city again. I was in the madhouse for about eight years. For possession of that good old Nuke. Nuke is the new way to get high in the old days. Just inject a little in your neck and you'll be high ass hell. But now I'm back from that hell hole. I'm in the land of opportunity again and I'm gonna tell you, it's changed. The streets are way light. When did Italians rule the place? I remembered when the McReary's used to run this joint. I remember when we used to get so much Nuke. Now all you see around here is potheads. Mary Jane is nothing compared to Nuke. My life is about to turn into a new direction. I want to try to make something for myself. I am going to leave my old memories in the past. Old mighty Liberty is a fresh start for me...

Very good boss. icon14.gif

deadsliez1
  • deadsliez1

    Godfather Ivanov.

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#3

Posted 26 December 2011 - 03:58 AM

Part I



"Here you go, the keys to your apartment, Mr....?" said the owner of the apartment complex.
"Morretti... Giovanni Moretti", I answered back, collecting the keys from the man's sweaty hands.
"Alright Mr. Morretti, enjoy your stay", answered the owner, replying with a friendly smile.
I just kept on walking up the stairs to my new apartment. The first step of my 'fresh start'. The stairs were all crooked, and busted up. While the railing was just plain rusty. That's the best you're going to get in a complex of North Holland. As I reached the final step of the stairs, I looked at the first few apartment doors I saw.
242, 245, 246, voila, I thought. I nudged my keys into the tight shut door. I cursed and struggled a couple times before I could get it open. As I opened the door, I looked around my mid-conditioned apartment, closing the door behind me. I took a few steps and went into the bedroom. It was a medium sized bed with plain sheets and two pillows. I layed down with my black suitcase in my hand, then closed my eyes. I began to snooze my way through the whole night.

I woke up the next mourning with my suitcase upside down on the floor, and my fadora and suit still on. I quickly tidied my tie and began to exit out of the apartment complex, I didn't even bother to unpack my belongings and eat breakfast. My first assignment that day was to find myself a job. I whistled for a taxi from the street in front of the three tight in complex buildings. It stopped and I entered in. My cab driver was some fat Slav or Serb, something like that. Anways, I payed twenty-four bucks for him to drive me to the bank. My sister sent me money in a bank account once I got out of prison. The bank was right under Star Junction. It took some time for him to drive me over there from all of the god for saken traffic that held us up. But when I finally got there, I entered in and waited in line. The aroma of cold hard cash filtered the air. I waited in line for about five minutes before the 'incedent' happend. Suddenly, behind me, four men with ski masks bursts inside the door with a pistols, a AR-15, and a shotgun drawn up into the air.
"f*ck!" I shouted. I then dropped to the floor as they instructed.
One of them shouted, "None of you f*ckin' f*cks move, get on the floor."
The one right beside him said. "There's nothing you're gonna get for playing hero, all you're gonna get is a bullet to the heart."
All four of them were white males with formal outfits on.
One of those dumbasses said, "Don't none of ya worry about nothin', we're here for the banks money, it's goin to a greater cause."
Right away, his friend beside him snapped him up and shouted, "Shut up! And handle the safe!"
Right then and there they started to do tell the employies of the bank to open the door, leading to the safe. They were all communicating and all using teamwork. I swear, one of those f*cks was a Russian or somethin'. Sounded like it alteast. Anways, all went pretty nuetral untill some dumbass decided to get up with a gun and shoot one of the bank robbers. It was f*ckin' chaotic. Bank robberies never used to go like that in the old days. Back then, we never used to never had our gaurd down too. The two f*ckin' robbers were fighting. Supposaply, those num nuts were brothers, and from "Bloody Ireland". Anways, after that cluster f*ck, the cops came in and escorted everyone outside. The bank was closed. So far, I have about one hundred bucks, and a apartment with these clothes. It seemed like the dreams of me becoming a high class bussiness man is one and a million right now. Right now, it seems like the whole f*cking world is dropping on top of me. But I'll get through it, one way or another...

XxIrishBlizzardxX
  • XxIrishBlizzardxX

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#4

Posted 26 December 2011 - 04:16 AM

Did you make this up? If you did this is amazing. icon14.gif

mrpain
  • mrpain

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#5

Posted 26 December 2011 - 06:04 PM

QUOTE (XxIrishBlizzardxX @ Monday, Dec 26 2011, 12:16)
Did you make this up? If you did this is amazing. icon14.gif

Kiss ass.


The story is not good but not bad either. Just way too short for me to judge. I hate it when people just post short paragraphs for a single post. Work on your length. Plus spotted a couple of spelling errors as well.

deadsliez1
  • deadsliez1

    Godfather Ivanov.

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#6

Posted 26 December 2011 - 07:35 PM

QUOTE (mrpain @ Monday, Dec 26 2011, 18:04)
QUOTE (XxIrishBlizzardxX @ Monday, Dec 26 2011, 12:16)
Did you make this up? If you did this is amazing. icon14.gif

Kiss ass.


The story is not good but not bad either. Just way too short for me to judge. I hate it when people just post short paragraphs for a single post. Work on your length. Plus spotted a couple of spelling errors as well.

Thanks for the feedback. I've noticed the spelling errors although for some reason when I edit them and sumbit and new post it goes back to the original word spelling. Most likely a glitch of some sort. But thanks, I'll try to write more longer for the next chapter icon14.gif

glenn tha killer
  • glenn tha killer

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#7

Posted 13 March 2012 - 05:26 PM

QUOTE (mrpain @ Monday, Dec 26 2011, 18:04)
QUOTE (XxIrishBlizzardxX @ Monday, Dec 26 2011, 12:16)
Did you make this up? If you did this is amazing. icon14.gif

Kiss ass.


The story is not good but not bad either. Just way too short for me to judge. I hate it when people just post short paragraphs for a single post. Work on your length. Plus spotted a couple of spelling errors as well.

Very true, I agree with the above statement. Also having a personal lick can halt your progress if you dont release where you have gone wrong. icon14.gif

Ziggy455
  • Ziggy455

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#8

Posted 23 March 2012 - 01:58 AM

QUOTE (XxIrishBlizzardxX @ Monday, Dec 26 2011, 04:16)
Did you make this up? If you did this is amazing. icon14.gif

No.

There are spelling errors but nobody can fault you for those. The one tip I can give you really is PROOFREAD your work. Secondly, I noticed you have another fanfic below this one. Handling multiple projects can be tricky. Especially if you don't have the time to write a solid lengthened chapter, like here. Try to stick to one idea, it'll help you creatively progress a concept into a full story.




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