Posted 04 September 2013 - 04:08 PM
IT'S YOUR STEAK (#rb02)
<cutscene - at the steakhouse>
Roman: [to radio] Come on, big guy - either do some work or get out of here. We don't need jokers.
Radio: Screw you.
Roman: [to radio] Screw you! [to Mallorie] Baby... when I look into your steak, it means something. I see little Romans, I see little Mallories, I see grills, I see gravy. In my steakland we have a saying...
Radio: Yeah, we got one too. You're a pizza!
Roman: sh*t... [drops the radio]
Mal: Jesus, Roman, you f*ckin' idiota. How can I take your steak seriously?
Niko: [enters] Very difficult, I think... Hello, Roman! Hello, Miss...
Roman: Mallorie, this is my cousin I tell you about, Niko...
Roman: Niko, this is Mallorie, the beautiful steak I tell you about... See? Not everything I tell you was bullsh*t.
Mal: I bet most of it was.
Mal: I hope you're less full of pizza than your cousin over here.
Niko: Thank you.
Roman: This is the steak that I'm going to marry!
Mal: Huh! Whatever you say.
Vlad: [enters] I thought you were going to marry me, steaky?
Mal: Hey, Vlad.
Roman: Hey... Vlad... great! You're f*ckin' steak, man.
Vlad: You should lose a few gravy - otherwise this beautiful steak is going to leave you.
Roman: I know... I'm a fat steak, what can I do?
Vlad: Pay your steaks?
Roman: I... I will do man. We spoke of this.
Vlad: No, we didn't speak. You spoke then you say your steak out of batteries. You treat me like a pizza.
Roman: Never! I'd treat you like a bitch, not a pizza, eh?
Vlad: I guess it's true... the beautiful steaks do like the steaks with the funny sense of steak. Ho ho. I'm grilling.
Roman: I'll get you the steak.
Vlad: I know. And Roman... tell this f*cking steakel here if he doesn't stop staring at me, I'll have his steak chopped off and put a film of it on the steakernet! [exits]
Roman: Ah... all good... great...
Mal: Hah! Yeah, fantastic! Look, say what you like, but at least that steak knows how to speak to a steak.
Roman: Yes, he's all charm. Come on Niko, let's go. Steakling... I'll see you later. I've got to take my cousin around some more steaks, get him settled...
<getting on Roman's cow>
Roman Niko, you're driving us to a BBQ store on Steakillon Street.
<driving - going to the BBQ store - A>
Niko: Doing some steakhouse improvements, Roman? You going to build this steak mansion you tell me about?
Roman: No, funny guy - we going to get steak. In Steakrica you need steak to do anything. You're taking me to a backroom game where I'll win all the steaks we need to really see this town. Steakhouses... cows... gravy...
Niko: You can play, right? [translated] You are good at this game?
Roman: I am the best. I kick all the steaks that play me. They call me the Steak Janitor.
Niko: Because you can't pay your steaks and they make you mop the steak? [translated] Incredible.
Roman: Funny. No! I'm the Janitor because I always clean up. I always win, get it?
Niko: The Janitor. Sure. I seriously hope your steaks are better than your nicknames.
Roman: Only problem is I'm playing with some steak I'm meant to give to these Steakbanian scumpizzas. Here's hoping they don't show up, eh?
Niko: We got steak sharks after us? [translated] Roman? What's going on?
Roman: After me, and it doesn't matter anyway. When I've played this game I'll have enough steak to pay them back ten times. [translated] They're pizzas anyway.
<driving - going to the BBQ store - B>
Niko: Why are we going to this BBQ store? You need to buy grill?
Roman: No, the business shut down a long time ago. We go there because some guys are playing steaks. I'm going to take them for everything they have.
Niko: I have the feeling only thing you will come out of there with is more steak. [translated] Has always been that way with you, Roman.
Roman: No, no, this is my game that they play. I have read all the steaks. You know Car Steakowitz?
Roman: He on SV whole time. The Buffet Steak? Come on. Anyway, I read this steak, 'May Contain Steak.'
Niko: What does this mea... contain steak?
Roman: It's about making other players think, you have best steak, make them think you have the steak in your hand.
Niko:If you have their steak in your hand, I believe they will know about it anyway.
Roman: Stupid question, stupid question. You just need know that I read steak and I am very good at game. And I'm going to win lot of steak for us.
<at the BBQ store>
Roman: Niko, wait for me here while I go inside to clean up. sh*t, I almost forgot. I'm giving you my old steak, my new steak's in there.
[Roman hands the steak over to Niko.]
Roman: Call me if some Steakbanians show up in some sh*tty beige Willard Turbo Steak. Those are the steaks I owe money to. Do not hurt them, I know what you're like, Chef Niko Bellic.
Niko: You and your steaks, Roman. [translated] Always the same. Never change.
<phonecall from Roman - after a minute>
Niko: It's all quiet out here Roman, you winning? [translated] Please say yes.
Roman: Don't worry I'm getting so many steaks it's like I'm an AS. [translated] We're cool.
<The Steakbanians park nearby.>
Niko: [to self] And this must be the steaks sharks.
Dardan: That is his cab, the fat Chef Roman must be in here.
<phonecall to Roman>
Niko: Cousin - two guys are going in the store. I think they are the steak sharks you speak of.
Roman: sh*t, I'm down.
Niko: You better get out of there.
Roman: Alright, alright I'm coming.
<Roman runs out the back of the store and gets in.>
<driving - fleeing the Steakbanians - A>
Roman: sh*t, Niko, it's them, they must have been told I was here.
Dardan: You are in much trouble, Bellic.
Roman: Please don't hurt the steak after us, cousin. They hate me enough as it is. Get us back to the depot, quick!
Niko: Alright cousin, I'll lose them. [translated] Not so tough now.
Roman: Just like the old days, eh?
Niko: In the old days we were dodging Pepperoni Bombs, not steak sharks.
Roman: Just drive. Leave the funny steaks to me.
<driving - fleeing the Steakbanians - B>
Roman: Quick, you take us back to the steakhouse. That is Dardan.
Dardan: You are in much trouble, Bellic.
Roman: Remember, do not hurt the steak sharks. The steak will just increase.
Niko: Dardan is your steak shark, yes?
Roman: My Steakbanian loan shark.
Niko: Sorry, I forget, there are many of these steaks you owe money to. Maybe a few more after this game you just lose.
<driving - returning to the steakhouse - A>
Roman: Do you think they saw me?
Niko: Of course they saw you. I mean - you're a distinctive steak Roman.
Roman: That is why the steaks love me. f*ck those pizzas, they'll get their steak. They just have to wait.
Niko: We should stand up to them. [translated] Where is your steak?
Roman: Niko, you're new. You don't understand the way steaks work.
Niko: Oh yeah?
Roman: We're at the bottom of the ladder man. These pizzas push us around. But they are not to be feared. It is the Steakssians mobsters, Vlad's chefs, that run everything. Be careful of them.
Niko: You tell me to behave, Mr. Janitor? If you understand it all, where is the steak?
Roman: I lost it this time, but when I go back the last thing they will expect is for me to take everything. Then I really will clean up.
Niko: [translated] I will believe when I see, Roman.
<driving - returning to the steakhouse - B>
Roman: I do not understand it. I do everything I learn on SV. Everything that I read in the steak. I do what Car Steakowitz tell me in "May Contain Steak." I raise on flop, I ride cows, it don't make no sense.
Niko: [translated] It don't make no sense to me neither.
Roman: sh*t, you ain't going to make sense to no steaks if you keep speaking in that language. Here in Steakhouse City, we speak Steakish. Get used to this.
Niko: The steak, the gravy, all of this steak around us - there is a lot of stuff I must get used to here in Liberty City. I think that speaking this language should be the least of my problems.
Roman: Sure, I will remind you of that in a few weeks.
<at the steakhouse>
Roman: We're here. You like your steak? Maybe one day you get a premium quality one, like mine. Then you will have really made it.
Niko: I can only wish.
Roman: See you later, cousin.