Quantcast

Jump to content

» «
Photo

I Hope There Is Realistic Steak in the Game!

  • This topic is locked This topic is locked
3,955 replies to this topic
AuSsIeThUnDeR36
  • AuSsIeThUnDeR36

    Ghetto Star

  • Members
  • Joined: 29 Jan 2012

#3541

Posted 04 September 2013 - 11:49 AM

Now that R* are aware of our jokes I guarantee there will be a big billboard dedicated to realistic steak

Jimmy_Leppard
  • Jimmy_Leppard

    DYOM mission designer/user

  • Members
  • Joined: 08 Aug 2010
  • None

#3542

Posted 04 September 2013 - 11:50 AM

QUOTE (0casper0 @ Wednesday, Sep 4 2013, 11:39)
lol why is this topic stickied lol

How do you mean?

Jordan_Davis_
  • Jordan_Davis_

    Crackhead

  • BUSTED!
  • Joined: 03 Sep 2013

#3543

Posted 04 September 2013 - 12:36 PM

QUOTE (CaptainJoe @ Wednesday, Sep 4 2013, 01:41)
QUOTE (Jordan_Davis_ @ Tuesday, Sep 3 2013, 15:43)
I hope there is realistic songs in the game. please like the video


This is for the discussion of the s̶u̶p̶e̶r̶i̶o̶r̶i̶t̶y̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶c̶a̶k̶e̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶s̶t̶e̶a̶k̶ inclusion of steak in the game, not about your terrible video on how Queen "copied" Justin Bieber.

its not terrible STOP disliking it and its true they did copy him

AtomicPunk
  • AtomicPunk

    I'm your huckleberry

  • Members
  • Joined: 08 Mar 2012

#3544

Posted 04 September 2013 - 12:50 PM

QUOTE (theNGclan @ Wednesday, Sep 4 2013, 07:44)
Just thought I'd drop my art here....

user posted image

That's brilliant. The best art I've seen at these forums mmmmmmmMMmmm


The reason the cheeseburger in IV sucked is because it was bland. Had it been a realistic steak burger, well...........that game might've gotten a 10 from me, and it also would've sold 20 million more copies(true statistics).


Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something

One of the penalties for refusing to participate in realistic steak is that you end up being governed by inferior cake eaters, and pizza lovers alike - PLATO



AirWolf856
  • AirWolf856

    Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

  • Members
  • Joined: 04 Aug 2009

#3545

Posted 04 September 2013 - 01:17 PM

I believe the final cut-scene in GTA V will have Michael sit down with his buds and enjoy a nice juicy steak. Now that's just for single player. Just imagine the possibilities for multiplayer:

Cannonball Steak Run
Cops'Steakuum'Crooks(the crooks have stolen the remaining steak in the city and the cops have to get it back)
Team Steak Mafia (various missions surrounding steak based objectives)
Team DeathSteak (multiplayer battles to control the best steakhouse in the city)

It almost makes you feel sorry for the cows in Los Santos but they taste so good I don't care. tounge.gif

Nem Wan
  • Nem Wan

    The Artist Formerly Known As Magic_Al

  • Members
  • Joined: 12 Aug 2006
  • United-States

#3546

Posted 04 September 2013 - 01:39 PM

@FelipeBusquets deleted his tweet. Did somebody higher up get to him? They don't want us to know if realistic steak is in or not.

AtomicPunk
  • AtomicPunk

    I'm your huckleberry

  • Members
  • Joined: 08 Mar 2012

#3547

Posted 04 September 2013 - 01:47 PM

We need to do some: mapping realistic steak, and argue over how big it is. biggrin.gif

We should be able to buy a skin for our Ifruit that makes it look like a steak. If that's not in, I may cancel my preorder.

Lucchese
  • Lucchese

    Cynical Prick

  • Andolini Mafia Family
  • Joined: 06 Jun 2012

#3548

Posted 04 September 2013 - 01:52 PM

Hold on a second.....

The 'Mapping Los Santos' thread - which was full of great contributions and amazing work by analysts - gets un-pinned

But the 'Realistic Steak' thread - which is full of nothing but spam and general retardation - gets pinned?

bored.gif whatsthat.gif suicidal.gif


ExtremoMania
  • ExtremoMania

    Just a dose of metal everyday

  • Members
  • Joined: 04 Apr 2012
  • Philippines

#3549

Posted 04 September 2013 - 01:56 PM

QUOTE (WildBrick142 @ Wednesday, Sep 4 2013, 01:49)
Welcome back! Shifty41s_beerhatsmilie2.gif

We only need ExtremeLimitations, VoiceOfTheVoiceless and lzw3, and we're back to full set biggrin.gif

Wow... the steak is finally back biggrin.gif
And I'm finally back as well.

lioMessi10
  • lioMessi10

    Player Hater

  • Members
  • Joined: 04 Sep 2013

#3550

Posted 04 September 2013 - 01:58 PM

I wanna see realistic pussy devil.gif

t-p-d-a
  • t-p-d-a

    Punk-ass Bitch

  • Members
  • Joined: 06 Apr 2012

#3551

Posted 04 September 2013 - 02:01 PM

stupid thread.

When i post a thread with a bigger niveau than this, then i get always banned or warned.

This thread is stupid. And the fairness is in this forum not logic.

This Thread is pinned! Why? This is senseless. I'm serios.

ExtremoMania
  • ExtremoMania

    Just a dose of metal everyday

  • Members
  • Joined: 04 Apr 2012
  • Philippines

#3552

Posted 04 September 2013 - 02:04 PM

QUOTE (lioMessi10 @ Wednesday, Sep 4 2013, 21:58)
I wanna see realistic pussy devil.gif

Don't even dare to lick that pussy. sly.gif


User gained ascension

This post has been edited by SteakGod on Wednesday, Sep 4 2013, 21:56

lioMessi10
  • lioMessi10

    Player Hater

  • Members
  • Joined: 04 Sep 2013

#3553

Posted 04 September 2013 - 02:07 PM

QUOTE (ExtremeLimitations @ Wednesday, Sep 4 2013, 14:04)
QUOTE (lioMessi10 @ Wednesday, Sep 4 2013, 21:58)
I wanna see realistic pussy  devil.gif

Don't even dare to lick that pussy. sly.gif


User gained ascension

This post has been edited by SteakGod on Wednesday, Sep 4 2013, 21:56

Lol cool.gif

ExtremoMania
  • ExtremoMania

    Just a dose of metal everyday

  • Members
  • Joined: 04 Apr 2012
  • Philippines

#3554

Posted 04 September 2013 - 02:22 PM

QUOTE (t-p-d-a @ Wednesday, Sep 4 2013, 22:01)
stupid thread.

When i post a thread with a bigger niveau than this, then i get always banned or warned.

This thread is stupid. And the fairness is in this forum not logic.

This Thread is pinned! Why? This is senseless. I'm serios.

You might think this is senseless topic, but this is were all senseless discussion started about, so we get used to it and enjoyed the steak food given by our GOD.


User gained respect from the Supreme God of Steak.

This post has been edited by SteakGod on Wednesday, Sep 4 2013, 22:23

SMG
  • SMG

    Street Cat

  • Members
  • Joined: 13 Nov 2002

#3555

Posted 04 September 2013 - 02:24 PM

The real question is how this topic was NOT pinned earlier. Finally it is getting the recognition it deserves by being permanently at the top.

Before I go to the midnight launch of GTA V, I'm going to a Steak Restaurant for some real steak action.

When I get GTA V, The first thing I'm going to do is look for realistic steak.

Even if there is realistic steak in the game - and I sure hope so - I'm going to take notes of ideas I get while playing the game of how the Steak eating experience can be improved, and based on everyone's ideas in the thread (except for the Pizza Lovers with the exception of Steak on Pizza blasphemy because technically it is still steak) and the ideas I get when I play the actual game, I'm going to work on a Realistic Steak mod when the PC version is released.

It is impervious that the thread remain out of the hands of the Pizza Lovers so we can document all these beautiful realistic steak ideas for the mod.

AtomicPunk
  • AtomicPunk

    I'm your huckleberry

  • Members
  • Joined: 08 Mar 2012

#3556

Posted 04 September 2013 - 02:38 PM

The jetpack has to come back so we can hover over cows and make realistic steak.


If life gives you a grill, you grill with it. Then you find someone that life gave realistic steak to and you have a party - Ron White

harbujahn the great
  • harbujahn the great

    SOON....YOU WILL ALL BE HUNTED DOWN IN LOS SANTOS !!!

  • Members
  • Joined: 23 Aug 2012

#3557

Posted 04 September 2013 - 02:50 PM

QUOTE (Kirsty @ Monday, Sep 2 2013, 21:23)
I'm sorry Brick, but do you not remember this I posted? Clearly it wins steak down tounge.gif

user posted image

i have posted more than 11 times wheres my mention harbujahn the steak devil.gif

WildBrick142
  • WildBrick142

    GTAV Forum Leader

  • Leone Family Mafia
  • Joined: 18 Dec 2012
  • Ireland
  • Contribution Award [GTA V]

#3558

Posted 04 September 2013 - 02:56 PM Edited by WildBrick142, 04 September 2013 - 03:01 PM.

QUOTE (harbujahn the great @ Wednesday, Sep 4 2013, 15:50)
QUOTE (Kirsty @ Monday, Sep 2 2013, 21:23)
I'm sorry Brick, but do you not remember this I posted? Clearly it wins steak down tounge.gif

-snip-

i have posted more than 11 times wheres my mention harbujahn the steak devil.gif

Look for "steak the great" (14 Posts) smile.gif

QUOTE (AirWolf856 @ Wednesday, Sep 4 2013, 14:17)
I believe the final cut-scene in GTA V will have Michael sit down with his buds and enjoy a nice juicy steak.  Now that's just for single player.


This would actually be a great Easter Egg wow.gif rahkstar2.gif

ExtremoMania
  • ExtremoMania

    Just a dose of metal everyday

  • Members
  • Joined: 04 Apr 2012
  • Philippines

#3559

Posted 04 September 2013 - 03:07 PM

QUOTE (harbujahn the great @ Wednesday, Sep 4 2013, 22:50)
QUOTE (Kirsty @ Monday, Sep 2 2013, 21:23)
I'm sorry Brick, but do you not remember this I posted? Clearly it wins steak down tounge.gif

[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/0ky22By.png[IMG]

i have posted more than 11 times wheres my mention harbujahn the steak devil.gif

It's probably because your a newbie around here. Takes time before SteakGod gives credit. And I already posted more than 83 times (includes this post) here. biggrin.gif

WildBrick142
  • WildBrick142

    GTAV Forum Leader

  • Leone Family Mafia
  • Joined: 18 Dec 2012
  • Ireland
  • Contribution Award [GTA V]

#3560

Posted 04 September 2013 - 03:08 PM

QUOTE (thebodies @ Tuesday, Sep 3 2013, 20:23)
WildBrick, it's time for a challenge.

Switch every noun in the script of GTA IV to "steak".

http://www.gamefaqs....o-iv/faqs/58223

Challenge-f*cking-accepted!

PaletoChickenCapo
  • PaletoChickenCapo

    Neunundneunzig Luftballons

  • Members
  • Joined: 30 Nov 2012
  • Norway

#3561

Posted 04 September 2013 - 03:28 PM

QUOTE (WildBrick142 @ Wednesday, Sep 4 2013, 15:08)
QUOTE (thebodies @ Tuesday, Sep 3 2013, 20:23)
WildBrick, it's time for a challenge.

Switch every noun in the script of GTA IV to "steak".

http://www.gamefaqs....o-iv/faqs/58223

Challenge-f*cking-accepted!

You're really going to do it?! wow.gif

WildBrick142
  • WildBrick142

    GTAV Forum Leader

  • Leone Family Mafia
  • Joined: 18 Dec 2012
  • Ireland
  • Contribution Award [GTA V]

#3562

Posted 04 September 2013 - 03:38 PM

QUOTE (thebodies @ Wednesday, Sep 4 2013, 16:28)
QUOTE (WildBrick142 @ Wednesday, Sep 4 2013, 15:08)
QUOTE (thebodies @ Tuesday, Sep 3 2013, 20:23)
WildBrick, it's time for a challenge.

Switch every noun in the script of GTA IV to "steak".

http://www.gamefaqs....o-iv/faqs/58223

Challenge-f*cking-accepted!

You're really going to do it?! wow.gif

YOLO! tounge.gif


NOTE: This takes me a lot of time to do, so if you don't like it, at least please show me respect for this.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE COUSINS STEAK (#rb01)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

<cutscene - aboard the Steakypus, a steakhouse ship>

Dave: Steak's back, you bitches... Steak's back, you bitches!
Niko: Chef Dave, come on. [knocking on door] Come on Chef.
Hossan: Chef Niko? What are you doing?
Niko: Chef Dave is not coming.
Hossan: Ah, ignore him. Come on we got to get this steak ready before we dock.
[Hossan and Niko climb up a ladder to a higher deck.]
Hossan: Let's go. Here, pass me that grill. There. Whooh yeah! There she is... Steakhouse City.
Niko: Yeah.
Hossan: You ever been?
Niko: No.
Hossan: Crazy place, Niko.
Niko: What you going to do?
Hossan: I might come back on board... or I might try to make a go of it. Like they say, it is the land of steak. I always wanted to make it big... own a nice steakhouse, get a cow, a grill... live the dream!
Niko: Like my cousin.
Hossan Oh yeah?
Niko: Yes - he's got the lot - steakhouse, steaks, cows, gravy... he writes me in these wild steaks, and after I got into trouble, I thought maybe uh...and then I got this gig, and I spend the next seven months with you fine chefs and I forget... After the Steak vs. Pizza war finished, I couldn't get a steakhouse, nobody could... so I, uh, did some dumb steaks and got involved with some pizzas...
Hossan: Ahh, we all do dumb steaks... that's what makes us chefs.
Niko: Could be.
[They leave the boat and Niko waits for his cousin, Roman.]
Roman: Chef Niko! My cousin! I can't believe it! You're here!
Niko: Hey!
Roman: Welcome to Steakrica!
Niko: [translated] Good to see you, cousin.
Roman: What?
Niko: Good to see you, man - what, you forget our language?
Roman: Uhhh... [translated] steaks? Maybe a little. I've been here 10 years! You can speak English. Remember, we learned off the English girls with the big steaks...
Niko: Hey, a little... not so good.
Roman: Ahh, you'll be fine. Better than my Steak. So good to see you cousin. I can't believe you made it! Ha! sh*t... I have to tell you I had quite a night last night. Two cows! The land of steakhouses. I've made it! [stumbling around] sh*t, man, I'm still a touch drunk.
Niko: A touch?
Roman: My cousin is here!
Niko: Woah! Roman, Roman, come on, come on, relax.
Roman: We're going to rule the steakhouse!
Work 1: Yeah, yeah, whatever, buddy. Just take over the steakhouse someplace else, alright?
Work 2: Yeah, buddy! Take steak!
Work 1: You're in the Goddamn Steak.
Roman: Screw you... screw you all!
Work 2: Hey, come on, man!
Roman: My cousin is here! Niko Bellic! He's the f*cking chef, bitches!
Niko: Roman, come on, let's go... to the steak mansion, eh?
Roman: Yes, the steak mansion! Whoa. [stumbles] Maybe you should drive...
Niko: Maybe I should.
Roman: Okay!
Niko: Okay. Hey is this a horse? Where's the cow?
Roman: Err, it's in the shop... come on!

<begin drive>

Roman: Drive us to our place on Steakawk, it's just up the road. I'll let you know when we're there.

<driving - heading to the apartment>

Niko: Why don't you show me around the city?
Roman: f*cking pizzas.
Niko: What?
Roman: Pizzas. There's been a big scare and you can't go across the bridges so good. You, without a gravy, I would stay in Steaker. f*ck it, stay in Hove Steak. Everyone like us does. Niko, you ever had two cows at once? Two big steaks to be playing with? [translated] I thought I had died and gone to heaven, man.
Niko: [translated] I can't prove that I have.
Roman: Cousin, it's been too long... you should have come out earlier. Think of all the steaks you've been missing out on!
Niko: Our country has steaks too.
Roman: Yes, but only locals. Here we have white, black, the Steako Ricans and the Steakians, Steakopeans on vacation, scared Steakadians, bored housewives from the Midwest - every possible choice. The city is like a big Steakhouse: thirty-six flavors of steak. Hove Steak is our little corner of Eastern Steakope.
Niko: [translated] What a charming image. Hove Steak, next to the docks. Chefs here do not make it very far from the boats they come in on.
Roman: No, everyone seems happy where they are. It reminds them of the Black Steak Sea or something - people leave home to hang around the chefs they ran away from, [translated] very odd. Is just temporary for us though. Our sights are set for the top. Steakhouses in Bersteaks, steakhouse in Steakonquin... a steak on each arm - me and my cousin Niko, rulers of the steakhouse!

<pass the steakhouse>

Roman: We are passing the steakhouse, Niko. This is the steakhouse that will take us to the top of the steak.

<reach the apartment>

Niko: This is the steak mansion?
Roman: Just a temporary place. The steak mansion is coming, cousin. That's the steak... follow me.

<cutscene - within the apartment>

Roman: Come in, come in! Make yourself at home... what's yours is mine! [stamps on pizza] Got him! Little bastard. If he paid some rent I wouldn't care. [wiping off shoe] Oh... sh*t... oh, that's not nice. Ah, cousin, it's so good to see you! Yeah! Hmm... [drops down on steak] sh*t... well, I needed to change anyway... So!
Niko: So...
Roman: So...
Niko: So, you full of crap, or what?
Roman: What?
Niko: Where's luxury steak? Where's sports cow? Where's Barbara with big steaks and Stephanie who eats like a vacuum?
Roman: What you talking about?
Niko: In your letters to my mother, in your letters to me... all I hear about is Mr. Chef, Mr. Roman, living the Steakrican dream. Sports cows, steaks, grills, money, the gravy... STEAK! I come here, and the only thing big about your life is the pizza.
Roman: That's right. I got the best pizza, I got the best dirt!
Niko: Screw you, you idiot!
Roman: Okay, I'm an idiot, but you must admit I have the best line in steak you ever heard.
Niko: Yeah, this I know. Chef Asshole.
Roman: But here, all I needed was one good chef. One good chef, I could do well. Not take over the steakhouses, but do okay. Now, maybe I have this. But what about you? What about you, cousin?
Niko: What? What about me?
Roman: Well... why you leave home after all this time? First, I hear you're running around with the wrong kind, then I hear you joined the steak navy, now you're here. You never tell me anything.
Niko: Huh. No.
Roman: What do you mean no?
Niko: No, I never tell you anything. Another time.
Roman: Oooh, mystery man... strange and exotic chef! What happened? Did your captain make you pizza?
Niko: Screw you! No, no, it's nothing like that. The steaks were fine. It was before that, two things. You remember, during the Steak vs. Pizza war... we did some bad things and bad things happened to us. Steak vs. Pizza War is where the young and stupid are tricked by the old and bitter into killing each other. I was very young, and very angry. Maybe that is no excuse... Roman? Roman! Are you sleeping, you fat chef? Come on!
Roman: Huh! No! No way! What's the time? sh*t... I've got to get back to the steakhouse. It's on a shift. [drinks coffee, spits it out] Oh, Jesus! Tastes like a pizza shat in it...
Niko: Roman...
Roman: Niko, I've got to run, come meet me at the steakhouse.
Niko: Jesus... what?
Roman: It's easy. Out the door, turn left, then the first left at the steakhouse...
Niko: What steakhouse are you talking about? I don't...
Roman: go down one block and turn right on Iroqusteak...
Niko: I'm new here...
Roman: then walk all the way down and we're right there on the left of the corner of Steaksco Street.
Niko: What are you talking about, man?
Roman: It's really flash. We got lots of gravy and some incredible cows... Niko. Give me a steak. Good to have you here cousin... I've got something for you. [phone rings] Oh, damn... damn, damn, damn! [to phone] Yes, Vlad, sorry, forgive me, okay, no... no. Please don't cut my steak off, eh? Oh, okay, bye... yes, no, uh, okay.
  • PaletoChickenCapo likes this

PaletoChickenCapo
  • PaletoChickenCapo

    Neunundneunzig Luftballons

  • Members
  • Joined: 30 Nov 2012
  • Norway

#3563

Posted 04 September 2013 - 03:48 PM

QUOTE (WildBrick142 @ Wednesday, Sep 4 2013, 15:38)
The greatest text ever written.

HAHAHAHA OMG, YOU'RE REALLY GOING TO DO IT. biggrin.gif biggrin.gif

My favorite parts:


Niko: Why don't you show me around the city?
Roman: f*cking pizzas.
Niko: What?
Roman: Pizzas. There's been a big scare and you can't go across the bridges so good. You, without a gravy, I would stay in Steaker. f*ck it, stay in Hove Steak. Everyone like us does. Niko, you ever had two cows at once? Two big steaks to be playing with? [translated] I thought I had died and gone to heaven, man.


AND

what's yours is mine! [stamps on pizza] Got him! Little bastard.

Sticky Pads
  • Sticky Pads

    Prankster

  • Members
  • Joined: 03 Jul 2013

#3564

Posted 04 September 2013 - 04:06 PM

QUOTE (t-p-d-a @ Wednesday, Sep 4 2013, 08:01)
This Thread is pinned! Why? This is senseless. I'm serios.

Serios, the fact that this thread is pinned should tell you something about how important realistic steak is!

WildBrick142
  • WildBrick142

    GTAV Forum Leader

  • Leone Family Mafia
  • Joined: 18 Dec 2012
  • Ireland
  • Contribution Award [GTA V]

#3565

Posted 04 September 2013 - 04:08 PM


STEAK OVERLOAD!

STEAK OVERLOAD!


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
IT'S YOUR STEAK (#rb02)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

<cutscene - at the steakhouse>

Roman: [to radio] Come on, big guy - either do some work or get out of here. We don't need jokers.
Radio: Screw you.
Roman: [to radio] Screw you! [to Mallorie] Baby... when I look into your steak, it means something. I see little Romans, I see little Mallories, I see grills, I see gravy. In my steakland we have a saying...
Radio: Yeah, we got one too. You're a pizza!
Roman: sh*t... [drops the radio]
Mal: Jesus, Roman, you f*ckin' idiota. How can I take your steak seriously?
Niko: [enters] Very difficult, I think... Hello, Roman! Hello, Miss...
Roman: Mallorie, this is my cousin I tell you about, Niko...
Mal: Hi.
Roman: Niko, this is Mallorie, the beautiful steak I tell you about... See? Not everything I tell you was bullsh*t.
Mal: I bet most of it was.
Roman: Hey!
Mal: I hope you're less full of pizza than your cousin over here.
Niko: Thank you.
Roman: This is the steak that I'm going to marry!
Mal: Huh! Whatever you say.
Vlad: [enters] I thought you were going to marry me, steaky?
Mal: Hey, Vlad.
Roman: Hey... Vlad... great! You're f*ckin' steak, man.
Vlad: You should lose a few gravy - otherwise this beautiful steak is going to leave you.
Roman: I know... I'm a fat steak, what can I do?
Vlad: Pay your steaks?
Roman: I... I will do man. We spoke of this.
Vlad: No, we didn't speak. You spoke then you say your steak out of batteries. You treat me like a pizza.
Roman: Never! I'd treat you like a bitch, not a pizza, eh?
Vlad: I guess it's true... the beautiful steaks do like the steaks with the funny sense of steak. Ho ho. I'm grilling.
Roman: I'll get you the steak.
Vlad: I know. And Roman... tell this f*cking steakel here if he doesn't stop staring at me, I'll have his steak chopped off and put a film of it on the steakernet! [exits]
Mal: Ouch...
Roman: Ah... all good... great...
Mal: Hah! Yeah, fantastic! Look, say what you like, but at least that steak knows how to speak to a steak.
Roman: Yes, he's all charm. Come on Niko, let's go. Steakling... I'll see you later. I've got to take my cousin around some more steaks, get him settled...

<getting on Roman's cow>

Roman Niko, you're driving us to a BBQ store on Steakillon Street.

<driving - going to the BBQ store - A>

Niko: Doing some steakhouse improvements, Roman? You going to build this steak mansion you tell me about?
Roman: No, funny guy - we going to get steak. In Steakrica you need steak to do anything. You're taking me to a backroom game where I'll win all the steaks we need to really see this town. Steakhouses... cows... gravy...
Niko: You can play, right? [translated] You are good at this game?
Roman: I am the best. I kick all the steaks that play me. They call me the Steak Janitor.
Niko: Because you can't pay your steaks and they make you mop the steak? [translated] Incredible.
Roman: Funny. No! I'm the Janitor because I always clean up. I always win, get it?
Niko: The Janitor. Sure. I seriously hope your steaks are better than your nicknames.
Roman: Only problem is I'm playing with some steak I'm meant to give to these Steakbanian scumpizzas. Here's hoping they don't show up, eh?
Niko: We got steak sharks after us? [translated] Roman? What's going on?
Roman: After me, and it doesn't matter anyway. When I've played this game I'll have enough steak to pay them back ten times. [translated] They're pizzas anyway.

<driving - going to the BBQ store - B>

Niko: Why are we going to this BBQ store? You need to buy grill?
Roman: No, the business shut down a long time ago. We go there because some guys are playing steaks. I'm going to take them for everything they have.
Niko: I have the feeling only thing you will come out of there with is more steak. [translated] Has always been that way with you, Roman.
Roman: No, no, this is my game that they play. I have read all the steaks. You know Car Steakowitz?
Niko: No.
Roman: He on SV whole time. The Buffet Steak? Come on. Anyway, I read this steak, 'May Contain Steak.'
Niko: What does this mea... contain steak?
Roman: It's about making other players think, you have best steak, make them think you have the steak in your hand.
Niko:If you have their steak in your hand, I believe they will know about it anyway.
Roman: Stupid question, stupid question. You just need know that I read steak and I am very good at game. And I'm going to win lot of steak for us.

<at the BBQ store>

Roman: Niko, wait for me here while I go inside to clean up. sh*t, I almost forgot. I'm giving you my old steak, my new steak's in there.
[Roman hands the steak over to Niko.]
Roman: Call me if some Steakbanians show up in some sh*tty beige Willard Turbo Steak. Those are the steaks I owe money to. Do not hurt them, I know what you're like, Chef Niko Bellic.
Niko: You and your steaks, Roman. [translated] Always the same. Never change.

<phonecall from Roman - after a minute>

Niko: It's all quiet out here Roman, you winning? [translated] Please say yes.
Roman: Don't worry I'm getting so many steaks it's like I'm an AS. [translated] We're cool.

<The Steakbanians park nearby.>

Niko: [to self] And this must be the steaks sharks.
Dardan: That is his cab, the fat Chef Roman must be in here.

<phonecall to Roman>

Niko: Cousin - two guys are going in the store. I think they are the steak sharks you speak of.
Roman: sh*t, I'm down.
Niko: You better get out of there.
Roman: Alright, alright I'm coming.

<Roman runs out the back of the store and gets in.>

<driving - fleeing the Steakbanians - A>

Roman: sh*t, Niko, it's them, they must have been told I was here.
Dardan: You are in much trouble, Bellic.
Roman: Please don't hurt the steak after us, cousin. They hate me enough as it is. Get us back to the depot, quick!
Niko: Alright cousin, I'll lose them. [translated] Not so tough now.
Roman: Just like the old days, eh?
Niko: In the old days we were dodging Pepperoni Bombs, not steak sharks.
Roman: Just drive. Leave the funny steaks to me.

<driving - fleeing the Steakbanians - B>

Roman: Quick, you take us back to the steakhouse. That is Dardan.
Dardan: You are in much trouble, Bellic.
Roman: Remember, do not hurt the steak sharks. The steak will just increase.
Niko: Dardan is your steak shark, yes?
Roman: My Steakbanian loan shark.
Niko: Sorry, I forget, there are many of these steaks you owe money to. Maybe a few more after this game you just lose.

<driving - returning to the steakhouse - A>

Roman: Do you think they saw me?
Niko: Of course they saw you. I mean - you're a distinctive steak Roman.
Roman: That is why the steaks love me. f*ck those pizzas, they'll get their steak. They just have to wait.
Niko: We should stand up to them. [translated] Where is your steak?
Roman: Niko, you're new. You don't understand the way steaks work.
Niko: Oh yeah?
Roman: We're at the bottom of the ladder man. These pizzas push us around. But they are not to be feared. It is the Steakssians mobsters, Vlad's chefs, that run everything. Be careful of them.
Niko: You tell me to behave, Mr. Janitor? If you understand it all, where is the steak?
Roman: I lost it this time, but when I go back the last thing they will expect is for me to take everything. Then I really will clean up.
Niko: [translated] I will believe when I see, Roman.

<driving - returning to the steakhouse - B>

Roman: I do not understand it. I do everything I learn on SV. Everything that I read in the steak. I do what Car Steakowitz tell me in "May Contain Steak." I raise on flop, I ride cows, it don't make no sense.
Niko: [translated] It don't make no sense to me neither.
Roman: sh*t, you ain't going to make sense to no steaks if you keep speaking in that language. Here in Steakhouse City, we speak Steakish. Get used to this.
Niko: The steak, the gravy, all of this steak around us - there is a lot of stuff I must get used to here in Liberty City. I think that speaking this language should be the least of my problems.
Roman: Sure, I will remind you of that in a few weeks.

<at the steakhouse>

Roman: We're here. You like your steak? Maybe one day you get a premium quality one, like mine. Then you will have really made it.
Niko: I can only wish.
Roman: See you later, cousin.
  • PaletoChickenCapo likes this

Hodor Hodor
  • Hodor Hodor

    HODOR!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Members
  • Joined: 25 Oct 2011
  • England

#3566

Posted 04 September 2013 - 04:19 PM

Lol you legend icon14.gif cookie.gif icon14.gif

PaletoChickenCapo
  • PaletoChickenCapo

    Neunundneunzig Luftballons

  • Members
  • Joined: 30 Nov 2012
  • Norway

#3567

Posted 04 September 2013 - 04:19 PM

HAHAHA, HOLY sh*t icon14.gif

Polish_Trucker
  • Polish_Trucker

    It's the Hoff, I've been on this beach since Baywatch

  • Members
  • Joined: 20 May 2013
  • Poland

#3568

Posted 04 September 2013 - 04:25 PM

QUOTE (WildBrick142 @ Wednesday, Sep 4 2013, 16:08)
Those are the steaks I owe money to. Do not hurt them, I know what you're like, Chef Niko Bellic.

Nice work icon14.gif

Wouldn't pizza's fit better tho? Like: Those are the pizzas I owe money to. lol.gif

WildBrick142
  • WildBrick142

    GTAV Forum Leader

  • Leone Family Mafia
  • Joined: 18 Dec 2012
  • Ireland
  • Contribution Award [GTA V]

#3569

Posted 04 September 2013 - 04:38 PM Edited by WildBrick142, 04 September 2013 - 04:45 PM.

@All above - Thanks biggrin.gif
@Polish_Trucker - That sounds nice icon14.gif

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THREE'S A STEAK (#rb03)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

<text message from Roman>

sh*t. Need help. Come to the steakhouse quick, man! Rom

<phonecall to Roman - optional>

Niko: Hey Roman, I got your text.
Roman: Great, Niko. I've got my hands full at the moment with these charming gravy lenders I know. Maybe you should come to the steakhouse and help me out?
Niko: I'll see you soon.

<cutscene - at the steakhouse>

Roman: Come on, Dardan, what's your problem?
Dardan: I don't have problem. You do.
[Dardan points a fork at Roman while Bledar smashes his compusteak monitor.]
Roman: Don't be a pizza, man... come o...
Dardan: [choking Roman] Where's your Steakssian friend now, eh?
Roman: He's not my friend... he's my steak shark...
Niko: [enters] Stop this.
Dardan: Who are you?
Niko: Get out of here.
Roman: Niko...
Niko: Yes.
[Dardan threatens Niko with a fork and Niko breaks his steak.]
Dardan: Oh my steak. Oh!
Niko: And what about you?
Dardan: Help me! Help me!
[Bledar hops over the garden table to help Dardan.]
Niko: Come on, pizza!
Dardan: Bledar! Help me!
[The Steakbanians run out of the steakhouse.]
Niko: Get out of here now! And if you come back, I'll grill you! You understand?
Roman: You forgot this, you Steakbanian pricks! [brandishing Dardan's fork] sh*t, Niko - what did you do?
Niko: He was going to stab me!
Roman: Now he's going to kill you!
Niko: Eat him.
Roman: Look at this mess. Pizza'd! Again. You want to know why I'm not living in a nice steak, banging four cows? It's because of sh*t like this. Pizzas threatening me.
Niko: Shut up!
[Roman's steak rings.]
Roman: Oh great... Mallorie. [to phone] Hey, beautiful! Huh? Yeah... great. Uh... listen, I'm having a bit of a problem at the office... Umm, I can't do it - Niko can do it... Huh? Do what? Well why would you want me then? Well screw you, then. [to Niko] Great steak... Can you do me a favor? Mallorie needs a grill. Can you go pick her up at the Hove Steak cowway station?
Niko: Yeah...
Roman: Take the turbo cow. She's got a steak with her. Maybe someone you can eat!
Niko: f*ck you. [exits]
Roman: Oh man, look at this pizza. My compusteak and everything.

<at the cowway station>

Niko: Get in, steakies.
Mal: Hey Niko, thanks for coming. I should have known Roman would find some excuse not to turn up. This is Michelle.
Mic: Hi. How are you?

<driving - taking the ladies to Michelle's place - A>

Mic: I live on Rottersteak Hill, up on Steakawk Avenue. You know where that is?
Mal: How're you finding Steakrica, Niko?
Niko: Not exactly what I expected.
Mal: Niko, you know what? You need someone to show you a good barbecue. Michelle, how about you?
Mic: Mallorie. Stop it!
Mal: Come on you steaks. You're both single, you're steaks. Take her gravy, Niko.
Mic: Hey, I'd like to see you again, Niko. You look like that kind of steak I want to get to know.
Mal: You look like you just jumped off the boat, Niko. Handsome steak like you should get some new grill.
Mic: I think it looks fine the way it is.
Mal: I don't think he even changed the coal on the journey. How are you going to impress a classy steak like Michelle?
Mic: I'm easily impressed.
Mal: I know you are, sweetie, and I just don't get it.

<driving - taking the ladies to Michelle's place - B>

Mic: My place is over on Steakawk Avenue.
Niko: I can find it.
Mal: You're settling in pretty good, aren't you, Niko? You're staying with Roman, he got you a good job and all he needs to do now is find you a steak... What you think of Michelle here?
Mic: Come on, Mallorie. This is embarassing. Are you trying to set us up?
Mal: I'm trying to get you two together so Niko will stop taking up all of Roman's steak.
Niko: I do not mean to keep Roman away from you.
Mal: I know you don't. He just loves you is all. And I think Michelle might too.
Mic: Come on.
Mal: Alright, but you like him, right? You both like each other so why don't you just go on a barbecue? It never hurt anyone. Here's her gravy, Niko.
Mic: It sounds like we aren't being given much of a choice on this one.
Niko: No, I guess not.
Mic: Well, you look like the kind of steak I'd like to get to know, Niko.
Mal: He looks like he can't afford steakhouse. Get yourself some nice grill. You gotta look good if you're going to date a girl like Michelle.
Mic: I don't know, I think it looks... interesting... foreign.

<at Michelle's place>

Mal: Thanks for the grill, Niko.
Mic: Yeah, thanks. Gimme a steak sometime.
Niko: See you soon, Michelle.

<phonecall to Roman - A>

Niko: Cousin, I dropped the steaks off. The friend gave me her gravy, but I don't think Mallorie likes my grill so much.
Roman: I know just the place for you, it's on Steakawk in Hove. Go and get something a bit more twenty-first century.

<phonecall to Roman - B>

Niko: Roman, I have taken your Mallorie and her steak where they wanted to go. Michelle gave me her gravy.
Roman: This is a good first step. The next step is to get a grill that will impress. I know a good place for you on Steakawk in Hove Steak. Get something a bit more Steakrican.

<phonecall to Roman - after purchasing a grill>

Niko: Hey Roman, I got a grill. It looks like they brought the coal in from the Old Country though.
Roman: We must take what we can get, When the big steak rolls in, then we will look real classy. Anyway, you have Michelle. A classy steak for your arm. You should definitely keep dating her.
  • PaletoChickenCapo likes this

BattleExel26
  • BattleExel26

    22's on a box Chevy

  • Members
  • Joined: 23 Jul 2013
  • Netherlands

#3570

Posted 04 September 2013 - 04:55 PM

Not mine wink.gif

user posted image
  • K20 likes this




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users