Welcome to The Australian, A pub, located in the middle of nowhere, here on GTAforums, for us Australians to disscuss our off topic current affairs, and to sit back and chat. The idea came to me from various mates of mine who have travelled overseas, got a bit homesick and made way to “The Australian” a pub in London, to sit back and chat with fellow Australians and feel at home. I feel that the gen chat is heavily dominated by USA and UK current affairs. Not meaning nothing by it, I don’t have a problem with it, but I would like a place to post about stuff going on in Australia, and this wouyld be the easiest way to discuss it. However, everyone is welcome to come and post and give your views and opinions on the latest topics of discussion, or to crack a joke, spin a yarn, or increase a sterotype… whatever you fancy. So please, grab a stool, get a skewie and kick back and chat… Oh, and watch the drop bears…
A big thanks to the USA allowing for their prime fillie, Sarah Jessica Parker, to run in this years Melbourne cup. You could say the old nag was the face of the cup
So Kevin 11, thoughts and comments?
BEER, whats your drink?
An Englishman, an Irishman and an Australian walk into a bar.
The barman says, "Is this some kind of bloody joke?"
One day an english bloke was driving aroung the backblocks of Sydney one day, when he saw a little girl in the paddock next to him. With the little girl was a gigantic bull, that was preparing to gore the little girl. The Pom took action. He slammed on the brakes of his car, jumped out, ran over and jumped the barbed wire fence, grabbed the bull by it's horns, flipped it over and broke it's back.An Aussie reporter saw the whole thing, and after the bull was dead (not being aware that the guy was english) he rushed over to congratulate him. "That was absolutly bloody fantastic mate! It'll make front page news, just give me your details," So the Pom gives him his details. A day later he buys the newspaper and looks at the headline. It reads POMMY BASTARD KILLS CHILDS PET.
An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the world. So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to Orlando, thinking that he would start by working his way across the USA from South to North.
On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read "$10,000 per call". The American, being intrigued, asked priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for.
The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God. The American thanked the priest and went along his way.
Next stop was in Atlanta. There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it. He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Orlando and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was.She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God. O.K., thank you," said the American. He then travelled to Indianapolis, Washington DC, Philadelphia, Boston, and New York. In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same "$10,000 per call" sign under it.
The American, upon leaving Vermont decided to travel to AUSTRALIA to see if Australians had the same phone. He arrived in Australia, and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read "40 cents per call." The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign.
Father, I've travelled all over America and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to Heaven, but in the US the price was $10,000 per call. Why is it so cheap here?"
The priest smiled and answered, "You're in Australia now, mate - it's a local call".
Edited by avito coleone, 09 November 2011 - 08:20 AM.