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Superstar Baseballer

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KaRzY6
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#1

Posted 26 October 2011 - 08:56 AM Edited by KaRzY6, 24 November 2011 - 07:17 AM.

Superstar Baseballer Created By KaRzY6

Status: Complete

Enjoy =D
Feedback please

Part 1 - Superstar Baseballer

user posted image

Plot:
This Mission-Pack is based in Las Venturas, 1996. You Play as Josh Carr, a famous baseballer who plays for the Las Venturas Tigers. Josh is 31 and is starting to lose form. The fans begin to stop loving him. His manager Mr Evans tells Josh that he should retire so he ended on a high, but Josh refuses. He is affaid that he will get sacked. So Josh turns to drugs, and gets arrested after seriously injuring 12 police officer. A unknown person bails him out with $50 000 000. And the rest is to be found out in the missions...

Missions:

Episode 1 - Fall in career
- Career Going Downhill
- Train Station Drugs
- Bad Name
- Sacked
Episode 2 - Revenge On Lee Poky
- O.C. Snake
- Gathering Info
- Mansion On Los Santos Hills
- End For Lee Poky

Complete.. colgate.gif

Note: The first episode doesnt have alot of action, but you need to play them to get the storyline. In the second episode theres alot more action. tounge.gif


Characters:
  • Josh Carr
    Age- 31
    About- Josh is a famous baseball player for the Las Venturas Tigers. Now he is 31, he is starting to lose form. Resulting in the fans beginning to stop loving him. His Manager Mr Evans wants him to retire but Josh refuses.
    From- England
    Mission Featured- ALL
  • Lee Poky
    Age- 28
    About- Lee Poky is a undercover police officer on a mission to stop drugs. He acts as a drug dealer and when someone buys drugs, he arrests them.
    From- Las Venturas
    Mission Featured- Train Station Drugs, Bad Name, End For Lee Poky.
  • O.C. Snake
    Age- 30
    About- O.C. Snake is Josh's best mate. He's a gangster who use to roll with the Creek Banditos and what O.C. stands for is 'unknown'. He has plenty of guns and knows alot of people. O.C Snake's real name is actually Lawrance Flower.
    From- Los Santos
    Mission Featured- O.C Snake, Gathering Info, Mansion On The Los Santos Hills.
  • Mr Evans
    Age- 50
    About- Mr Evans is Josh Carr's manager. His first name is 'unknown' and he is a heartless and a lonely man
    From- Las Venturas
    Mission Featured- Career Going Downhill, Bad Name, Sacked, Gathering Info.
  • Coach
    Age- 46
    About- He's name is not mentioned in the series. He's not a important character.
    From- Mexico
    Mission featured- Sacked
  • Dustin Reffroy
    Age- 28
    About- Dustin Reffroy is the leader of a small gang in Las Venturas called Creek Banditos based in the small suburb of Creek.
    From- Las Venturas
    Mission Featured- O.C. Snake
  • James Newton
    Age- 38
    About- A security guard at the Pyrmaid Hotel.
    From- Las Venturas
    Mission featured- Gathering Info.
Part 2 - O.C. Snake Story - Exekucnak(encouraged me to make it).

user posted image

Plot:
This Part is about O.C. Snake and his time at the ballas. Year 1997, After his time in Las Venturas he decides to return home to Los Santos and starts to roll with the Front Yard Ballas.

Missions:
Episode 1 - Move to Los Santos
- Back To Home Town
- Meeting Matthew
Episode 2 - At Ballas
- Army Guns
- Upsetting Vagos
- Vagos Revenge
- Police Raid
- Braking Out Matthew
- Grove Trap
- Grove Trap Pt. 2

Complete. smile.gif

Characters:
  • O.C. Snake
    About - He moves to LS after his time at Las Venturas. He then joins the Front Yard Ballas.
    Age - 31
    From - Los Santos
    Missions Featured - ALL
  • Matthew Carr
    About - Matthew is famous baseballer, Josh Carr's brother. He was adopated into the Carr family. Matt is the very high up in the gang, Front Yard Ballas.
    Age - 28
    From - England
    Mission Featured - Meeting Matthew, Army Guns, Upsetting Vagos, Vagos Revenge, Police Raid, Braking Out Matthew, Grove Trap, Grove Trap Pt. 2.
  • Josh Carr
    About - Josh becomes the coach of the Las Venturas Tigers.
    Age - 32
    From - England
    Mission Featured - Back To Home Town
  • Luke Flower
    About - Luke is O.C Snake's brother, He lives in Grove Street with other brother Jacob. Luke's mum moved to Vice City 2 years ago and never contacted them again.
    Age - 25
    From - Los Santos
    Mission Featured - Army Guns, Grove Trap Pt. 2.
  • Jacob Flower
    About - Same as Luke's ^^^
    Age - 27
    From - Los Santos
    Mission Featured - Army Guns, Grove Trap Pt. 2.
  • Big Smoke
    About - Big Smoke is the leader of the Grove Street Familes.
    Age - 33
    From - Los Santos
    Mission Featured - Grove Trap Pt. 2.
Feedback wanted biggrin.gif

Reviews by SatournFan
Part 1 - Mission 1

Part 1 - Mission 2

Part 1 - Mission 3

Part 1 - Mission 4


Reviews by AznKei
Part 1 - Missions 1 and 2

Part 1 - Mission 3 and 4

Part 2 - Mission 1 and 2

KaRzY6
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#2

Posted 27 October 2011 - 02:54 AM

Series completed colgate.gif

YAYYY!!!!

Play the missions and give me feddback so i can improve for my next series. biggrin.gif

RamiV2
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#3

Posted 27 October 2011 - 04:34 AM

Seems like a nice series, I'll try it out when I find time. I'll post feedback when I finish it. smile.gif

KaRzY6
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#4

Posted 27 October 2011 - 04:37 AM Edited by KaRzY6, 27 October 2011 - 05:52 AM.

QUOTE (Juan-R @ Thursday, Oct 27 2011, 15:34)
Seems like a nice series, I'll try it out when I find time. I'll post feedback when I finish it.  smile.gif

Thank you. colgate.gif hope you enjoy it

Exekucnak
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#5

Posted 27 October 2011 - 06:00 AM

Ok, I played all the missions and I would rate them with 7.5/10
The story was good, but you could made it much more longer, the thing I like the most about your mission-pack was lenght of some missions like Train Station Drugs, Gathering Info, but you could also made some missions longer(Mansion On Los Santos Hills). You can also add color and capital letters to cutscenes, it will look much better then. But the mission-pack was very nice and the idea is perfect icon14.gif

KaRzY6
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#6

Posted 27 October 2011 - 06:26 AM

QUOTE (Exekucnak @ Thursday, Oct 27 2011, 17:00)
Ok, I played all the missions and I would rate them with 7.5/10
The story was good, but you could made it much more longer, the thing I like the most about your mission-pack was lenght of some missions like Train Station Drugs, Gathering Info, but you could also made some missions longer(Mansion On Los Santos Hills). You can also add color and capital letters to cutscenes, it will look much better then. But the mission-pack was very nice and the idea is perfect icon14.gif

Very nice, thanks man. That feedback will help me colgate.gif do you think i should make an episode 3?

Exekucnak
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#7

Posted 27 October 2011 - 06:28 AM


You should, the problem is, that you already exit the story in the last mission...

KaRzY6
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#8

Posted 27 October 2011 - 06:34 AM

QUOTE (Exekucnak @ Thursday, Oct 27 2011, 17:28)
You should, the problem is, that you already exit the story in the last mission...

I have an idea. I could make a story about O.C. Snake moving to LS and becoming a balla. colgate.gif what you wreckon?

Exekucnak
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#9

Posted 27 October 2011 - 08:54 AM

Try it icon14.gif But make it here, don't start another thread

KaRzY6
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#10

Posted 27 October 2011 - 09:01 AM Edited by KaRzY6, 27 October 2011 - 09:16 AM.

QUOTE (Exekucnak @ Thursday, Oct 27 2011, 19:54)
Try it icon14.gif But make it here, don't start another thread

I was planning on doing that, i'll just make a section at the bottom. colgate.gif

I featured your name. smile.gif

RamiV2
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#11

Posted 28 October 2011 - 03:08 AM

Just got done playing it and oh my god, I can reallly say you are a greta designer for being a rookie. Good luck on your continuation on this series. I'll sure play it when it comes out!

KaRzY6
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#12

Posted 28 October 2011 - 05:30 AM

QUOTE (Juan-R @ Friday, Oct 28 2011, 14:08)
Just got done playing it and oh my god, I can reallly say you are a greta designer for being a rookie. Good luck on your continuation on this series. I'll sure play it when it comes out!

Thanks so much. colgate.gif its good knowing that someone thinks im a good designer. Thanks biggrin.gif

KaRzY6
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#13

Posted 02 November 2011 - 05:35 AM

Part 2; Episode 1 is complete colgate.gif

Notna
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#14

Posted 02 November 2011 - 02:48 PM

I will play your missions for sure sometime, but I've had so many things to do and I just don't have time for DYOM.

I'll play them maybe in the weekend.

KaRzY6
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#15

Posted 03 November 2011 - 05:25 AM

QUOTE (Notna @ Thursday, Nov 3 2011, 01:48)
I will play your missions for sure sometime, but I've had so many things to do and I just don't have time for DYOM.

I'll play them maybe in the weekend.

Thank you Notna. colgate.gif

KaRzY6
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#16

Posted 05 November 2011 - 04:36 AM

Mission-Pack is complete!!!!!!!! play and give feedback please biggrin.gif

RamiV2
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#17

Posted 05 November 2011 - 04:59 AM

Nice dedication to your series, bro. I'ma play it and give feedback sometimes soon. icon14.gif

KaRzY6
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#18

Posted 05 November 2011 - 05:16 AM

QUOTE (Juan-R @ Saturday, Nov 5 2011, 15:59)
Nice dedication to your series, bro. I'ma play it and give feedback sometimes soon. icon14.gif

Thank you Juan-R. biggrin.gif What do you mean by 'dedication'? smile.gif

Exekucnak
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#19

Posted 05 November 2011 - 05:17 AM

Finally you complete it,I will play the pack today or tomorrow and give you feedback icon14.gif

KaRzY6
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#20

Posted 05 November 2011 - 05:20 AM

QUOTE (Exekucnak @ Saturday, Nov 5 2011, 16:17)
Finally you complete it,I will play the pack today or tomorrow and give you feedback icon14.gif

Thanks bro. biggrin.gif yeah i've been working on it like afterschool for the last couple of days. colgate.gif

RamiV2
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#21

Posted 05 November 2011 - 06:07 AM

QUOTE (KaRzY6 @ Saturday, Nov 5 2011, 05:16)
QUOTE (Juan-R @ Saturday, Nov 5 2011, 15:59)
Nice dedication to your series, bro. I'ma play it and give feedback sometimes soon.  icon14.gif

Thank you Juan-R. biggrin.gif What do you mean by 'dedication'? smile.gif

That you didn't drop this series, in fact, you continued it 'till it had a firm closure! Good luck on your future missions, bro sly.gif

KaRzY6
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#22

Posted 05 November 2011 - 06:40 AM

QUOTE (Juan-R @ Saturday, Nov 5 2011, 17:07)
QUOTE (KaRzY6 @ Saturday, Nov 5 2011, 05:16)
QUOTE (Juan-R @ Saturday, Nov 5 2011, 15:59)
Nice dedication to your series, bro. I'ma play it and give feedback sometimes soon.  icon14.gif

Thank you Juan-R. biggrin.gif What do you mean by 'dedication'? smile.gif

That you didn't drop this series, in fact, you continued it 'till it had a firm closure! Good luck on your future missions, bro sly.gif

Oh yeah, thanks hehe biggrin.gif

do you think i'm a okay designer, for that i have only been designing for about 2-3 weeks.

Exekucnak
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#23

Posted 05 November 2011 - 07:03 AM

I finished playing O.C. Snake's story and I would rate it with 7.0/10
+ Good characters
+ Last mission
+ Good gameplay

- Lenght of some missions
- Strange story end

KaRzY6
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#24

Posted 05 November 2011 - 07:23 AM

QUOTE (Exekucnak @ Saturday, Nov 5 2011, 18:03)
I finished playing O.C. Snake's story and I would rate it with 7.0/10
+ Good characters
+ Last mission
+ Good gameplay

- Lenght of some missions
- Strange story end

Well i had to make OC Snake die because in the mission 'End for Lee Poky' i said that OC Snake got killed by Grove street. So yeah. biggrin.gif

EDIT: Oh yeah, and thanks for the feedback colgate.gif

KaRzY6
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#25

Posted 12 November 2011 - 04:03 PM

Topic Updated

Review by Satournfan has been added. i'll add them in every new video he makes. But i will not keep making topic updates, this is the only one. So you know that reviews are on the main topic.

thanks. biggrin.gif

john12
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#26

Posted 05 December 2011 - 09:17 AM

BUMP Sorry sad.gif

Downloaded the missions and feedback for sure! I already played this but forgot about it, sorry. sad.gif

Never Mind! Wait for the feedback, bro. biggrin.gif

KaRzY6
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#27

Posted 05 December 2011 - 09:22 AM

QUOTE (john12 @ Monday, Dec 5 2011, 20:17)
BUMP Sorry sad.gif

Downloaded the missions and feedback for sure! I already played this but forgot about it, sorry. sad.gif

Never Mind! Wait for the feedback, bro. biggrin.gif

Thanks bro biggrin.gif

john12
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#28

Posted 05 December 2011 - 02:29 PM Edited by john12, 05 December 2011 - 02:40 PM.

Here's part 1 mission 1, 4 missions

Really nice story. Use colour/color texting for more improvement otherwise, excellent job. icon14.gif

I saw the page and it seems that this forum has contributed alot for you by giving a helping hand and people completing your request. No offence. Good luck and wait for other missions feedback too. cool.gif

KaRzY6
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#29

Posted 05 December 2011 - 10:38 PM

QUOTE (john12 @ Tuesday, Dec 6 2011, 01:29)
Here's part 1 mission 1, 4 missions

Really nice story. Use colour/color texting for more improvement otherwise, excellent job. icon14.gif

I saw the page and it seems that this forum has contributed alot for you by giving a helping hand and people completing your request. No offence. Good luck and wait for other missions feedback too. cool.gif

Thanks bro smile.gif Hope you like the next part biggrin.gif




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