PLEASE. If you read this, don't ignore my feelings just because I am a kid.
This can sound pretty weird, just because I am just 12 years old. But believe me, I've gone through all this sh*t what I am going to tell now.
This year of my life has been much better than in 2010. I am ok now, I have friends and everything's pretty much fine - but there's still something.
In my first years of life, I was a pretty kind of a child. My father was working on a big firm and is still in the same place, and my mother was at home that time. So I had nothing to worry about. I was 5 at that time. Then, my mother got a new job and started working on a big market. So, now, they had to find a me a place where I can be at the time when they are in work. My aunt had a friend, who was willing to help. The next day, my mother took me to my aunt's friend. First, I was afraid of a new place and new friends - who were girls. I was shocked when I heard that, because that time I had only boys as my friends. Well, we became friends of both of those girls. One of them was a year older than me and the other one was as the same age as me.
Years passed, until my brother was born and my mother got a long vacation because of that. We were still friends with those girls. And then the school started...
'The other one' of those girls were at the same class as me. We were the best friends. Then, some guys from the 2nd grade started to bully me. But that girld protected me. She told about it to teachers and I the bullies never bullied me again. Some of my friends still bully me, but you guys know, that's that friendship bullying.
In the 3rd grade, I started to realise that love is not disgusting. And I realised that I loved that girl. Yes, I was 10 at that time. It can sound very weird for you guys, but I really felt it. I knew that it wasn't something nonsense feeling, it was a real one. Before the 4th grade, I started to find out that she loves me as well. But I wasn't pretty sure about that, so I started to feel depressed. But in February 2010, I found a letter on my school desk. I opened it at home and when I realised that the girl was just talked to me about her feelings about me, all that depress was gone. I was so happy that I shout so hard that some of our neighbors watched from the street as angry. Around that time, I had my birthday and I grow to the age of 11. Me, and that girl started a releationship and we were in love.
In the summer, she had came to visit on our house, nobody was home. Don't think anything suspicious about that, it isn't what it sounds like. We talked for hours, and at the end of everything, we kissed.
WE KISSED. I never thought about getting kissed at the age of 11. But really quick, something happened and I never had so bad feelings...
After the 5th grade started, I got a text message from that girl. She said that this isn't working out and said that she was sorry. First, I fell to the ground and leaned on the wall. That feeling was impossible, I had the feeling that I can't get through it. I started to scream "Ei. Ei... EI!" what's in English; "No. No... NO!". I felt depressed and even thought about committing suicide - I forgot that feeling pretty quick, luckily. Next year, I had almost got over the depression and we were still friends with that girl. But then I found out that she was dating with my best friend. It was pretty idiotic, very stupid and imprudent but I almost punched him. At the last second I realised what I was doing. And we're still best friends, and they aren't dating anymore.
I've been enamored on one girl after that, but that thing falled down this week as I heard that she loves one of my friends. Well, she's my very good friend as well so I forgot about her and now I am fine with life. I enjoy the life on full speed. I just want to feel the feeling of being loved by some special one. I know that my parents love me, but I want that special one as well. Hopefully, something come up soon and I have something glad info for you guys
I hope you don't ignore me just because I am 12. Kids have feelings as well.