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EmoNinja909
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#91

Posted 11 May 2011 - 09:11 PM

QUOTE (kmlwin.1996 @ May 11 2011, 08:53)
My f*cking education center don't let me to go to my beloved granddad's funeral.

That terrible, sorry for your loss. *speechless* that's beyond ridiculous how they won't allow you to attend your grandfather's funeral, you should just ignore them and go.

kmlwin.1996
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#92

Posted 15 May 2011 - 07:18 AM

Ok, another share...

My family members always scold me. They said "You are not studying". Actually I study hard, they keep telling me. The words they often said "You are nothing." "You are like dog.". I am f*cking depressed after the pass of my granddad. They keep yelling at me all the time. I want to leave my home always.

AlexGTAGamer
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#93

Posted 15 May 2011 - 02:50 PM

QUOTE (kmlwin.1996 @ May 15 2011, 07:18)
Ok, another share...

My family members always scold me. They said "You are not studying". Actually I study hard, they keep telling me. The words they often said "You are nothing." "You are like dog.". I am f*cking depressed after the pass of my granddad. They keep yelling at me all the time. I want to leave my home always.

Well when you are older just move to the US or UK maybe?

EmoNinja909
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#94

Posted 15 May 2011 - 03:41 PM

Leave it, you don't need people like that. Just make sure you have a place to stay. Maybe ask a close friend if you can stay with them.

WF the Hobgoblin
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#95

Posted 15 May 2011 - 04:45 PM

QUOTE (EmoNinja909 @ May 15 2011, 16:41)
Leave it, you don't need people like that. Just make sure you have a place to stay. Maybe ask a close friend if you can stay with them.

He's just a kid, he doesn't have a choice unless he fancies 'running away' which isn't a particularly good idea.

kmlwin.1996
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#96

Posted 17 May 2011 - 12:46 PM

QUOTE (AlexGTAGamer @ May 15 2011, 21:50)
QUOTE (kmlwin.1996 @ May 15 2011, 07:18)
Ok, another share...

My family members always scold me. They said "You are not studying". Actually I study hard, they keep telling me. The words they often said "You are nothing." "You are like dog.". I am f*cking depressed after the pass of my granddad. They keep yelling at me all the time. I want to leave my home always.

Well when you are older just move to the US or UK maybe?

I want to move there, always. icon14.gif

US! HERE I COME! suicidal.gif

LEXTY
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#97

Posted 18 May 2011 - 10:14 AM

Got an English speech tomorrow at school. I have to write a dumb
monolog on a character. I figured that I'm going to write about a 34 year old man named, 'Rio Bendez'. He was born in 1974, and raised in West Cuba but moved to Mexico when he was 3. Know the cops are trying to bust him. Rio is suppose to be sent to Gilry for some big drug deal. 14k reward to get to the deal and threaten some man named, 'Shane Granith'. The cops bust him in New York.
I hope the class will like it. If not.... (Pulls out machine gun)
"Say Ello', to ma lil' friend!"

Machiavelli's Prophecy
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#98

Posted 18 May 2011 - 10:42 AM

Weed cures cancer?

Warlord.
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#99

Posted 18 May 2011 - 01:39 PM Edited by Warlord., 18 May 2011 - 01:43 PM.

Yes it does. Proof:





Phoenix Tears

Study 1

Study 2

Study 3

Study 4

Study 5

Study 6

Study 7

Study 8

Study 9

Study 10

Study 11

Study 12

Study 13

Study 14

Let me know if you want more studies. wink.gif

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#100

Posted 18 May 2011 - 04:06 PM

QUOTE (Warlord. @ May 18 2011, 14:39)
Propaganda

If you want to present theory as fact and completely ignore the relatively large wealth of research that disagrees with you, then at least for the love of all things sacred keep it on one thread.

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#101

Posted 18 May 2011 - 05:27 PM

He asked a question, I answered. smile.gif

kmlwin.1996
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#102

Posted 19 May 2011 - 04:03 AM

Thx. I'll move to US when I am 17 or 18 years old. I always like that places. wink.gif

Carter.Slade
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#103

Posted 21 August 2011 - 06:46 PM

This last 12 months was really f*cked up for me, I just wish that could go back in time correct my misteks but such thing never happens.
I had my exams last summer and I failed my exams I really worked hard, but dono how I got failed even the dumbest boy in the class passed the exams. I never was a dumb kid of the class I was a really good student.
And I'm just f*cked up right now I dono what to do, sometimes I really think of suicied but then I think if I quit now will never be able to meet my dream girl
I will never be able get my Dream Job.
I never be able to buy a big duplex for my family .
I will never be able to buy those expensive cars.

My life doesnt end here I still have alot much to prove.
Once my elementary school teacher said "Failures are the pillars of success".
I wish that I can prove him right.

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#104

Posted 21 August 2011 - 07:05 PM

QUOTE (Carter.Slade @ Sunday, Aug 21 2011, 18:46)
This last 12 months was really f*cked up for me, I just wish that could go back in time correct my misteks but such thing never happens.
I had my exams last summer and I failed my exams I  really worked hard, but dono how I got failed even the dumbest boy in the class passed the exams. I never was a dumb kid of the class I was a really good student.
And I'm just f*cked up right now I dono what to do, sometimes I really think of suicied but then I think if I quit now will never be able to meet my dream girl
I will never be able get my Dream Job.
I never be able to buy a big duplex for my family .
I will never be able to buy those expensive cars.

My life doesnt end here I still have alot much to prove.
Once my elementary school teacher said "Failures are the pillars of success".
I wish that I can prove him right.

Don't get worked up over failing your exams. You still have plenty of chances for sucess. Sometimes if your naturally good at something then qualifications are nothing to hold you back. Just forget about it and think ahead. This is no reason to live anything other than a good life, people who get upset about things like this are the people who end up on the streets. Stay strong and you'll be sucessful, even if you don't have the results you wanted.

Just go out there and make something of yourself and don't let anything or anyone hold you back. As long as you keep trying they'll always be something out there for you. Plus you can probably go back and do the exams again, or take a course at college. I know in my country you can go back to school when older and redo the exams. But it's not even necessary, you still have a life, that's all that matters.

KilnerLUFC
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#105

Posted 21 August 2011 - 07:05 PM

QUOTE (Carter.Slade @ Sunday, Aug 21 2011, 18:46)
<Snip>

If life handed you everything you dream of, then I think that would be a sh*tty life. From experience, mistakes are some of the best life experiences ever, and make us who we are. I'm 23, and as you can see from what I posted in here, have lived a life full of regret/mistakes, but dwelling on what could have been will only send me further into depression.

Just because you failed your exams means diddly-squat, but only if you're willing to push yourself harder for the things you want in life.

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#106

Posted 21 August 2011 - 07:32 PM

Excuse me if there are some spelling errors on the following sentences but I'm writing this from my iPad and I really need to express myself right now.

My grandpa.

My grandpa is my actual gramdpa, I've been more than lucky to have my four grandparents alive but at the moment I am about to lose one. I mentioned a few months back that he has a incurable disease, not cancer, worse. Right now I don't remember the name, but I'll get back to you on that.

As we speak my grandpa is havng a tube incerted through his neck which will be the way he eats and drinks.

He's up to the state in which he can merely blink, he's paralyzed and lying in bed, with a few months, if we're lucky years to live.

I really care for my grandpa, he's been like a father to me in some occasions and has offered me the beat pieces of advice someone could ever get.

He's a great, loving, caring person and it's such a terrible thing for me to see him like this, my grandma, his spouse, has had breast cancer and currently has diabetes and it feels like it's the last thing I need right now to see my family members this way.

It's such a shame that bad things happen to good people when there are bad people in this world who have done terrible things yet their rewards are nothing but good.

I will kindly ask anyone out there wo has had any paSt experience to offer some advice on what to do to make myself feel better.

Sorry, I just really needed to get that off my chest.

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#107

Posted 21 August 2011 - 07:39 PM

QUOTE (blitz @ Sunday, Aug 21 2011, 20:32)
-snip-

I feel for you bro. My grandfather has had a long history of illnesses (Emphysema, early stages of dementia, etc) and is currently home bound (can't climb stairs, has to use a walker.) and he's had tests run on his bone marrow (which I hope isn't what it could be confused.gif ) and is in hospital quite alot.

Stay Strong icon14.gif

KilnerLUFC
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#108

Posted 21 August 2011 - 07:40 PM

QUOTE (blitz @ Sunday, Aug 21 2011, 19:32)
It's such a shame that bad things happen to good people when there are bad people in this world who have done terrible things yet their rewards are nothing but good.

Exactly the same thought went through my head when I lost my mother to cancer not so long back. She was the most wonderful person I've ever known, and would strive to always put others before herself, and even carried on working up until the day she died. Well, she did leave at one point, but went back some months later as she was bored of just sitting around waiting for the cancer to kill her.

It's a horrible experience, watching a loved one go through a disease, all the while knowing that nothing can be done, but to just sit back and wait for the inevitable. I know it sounds horrible, but you're not stupid, and you seem to know it's not going to be long before he passes away. The worst thing is, watching them die a slow death, watching them have all these tubes and machines just to keep them alive.

Just make sure to act as 'normal' as possible around him, and even if he can't acknowledge you, just forget that and try and talk to him as much as possible. I remember going to the hospital numerous times, just to sit there for a couple of hours and talk to a motionless family member, but I kept strong and left my emotions at home.

blitz
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#109

Posted 21 August 2011 - 07:44 PM

QUOTE (Butters 2011 @ Sunday, Aug 21 2011, 14:40)
QUOTE (blitz @ Sunday, Aug 21 2011, 19:32)
It's such a shame that bad things happen to good people when there are bad people in this world who have done terrible things yet their rewards are nothing but good.

Exactly the same thought went through my head when I lost my mother to cancer not so long back. She was the most wonderful person I've ever known, and would strive to always put others before herself, and even carried on working up until the day she died. Well, she did leave at one point, but went back some months later as she was bored of just sitting around waiting for the cancer to kill her.

It's a horrible experience, watching a loved one go through a disease, all the while knowing that nothing can be done, but to just sit back and wait for the inevitable. I know it sounds horrible, but you're not stupid, and you seem to know it's not going to be long before he passes away. The worst thing is, watching them die a slow death, watching them have all these tubes and machines just to keep them alive.

Just make sure to act as 'normal' as possible around him, and even if he can't acknowledge you, just forget that and try and talk to him as much as possible. I remember going to the hospital numerous times, just to sit there for a couple of hours and talk to a motionless family member, but I kept strong and left my emotions at home.

Thanks Butters, and Lycosa. I just teared up a bit by analyzing the whole situation again, and your mother death was certainly a terrible thing. I do talk to him, sometimes, and never ever look at him as if he were a dead person, I try to acknowledge his presence and try to make him notice that I do care for him, a lot.

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#110

Posted 21 August 2011 - 08:50 PM

QUOTE (blitz @ Sunday, Aug 21 2011, 19:44)

and try to make him notice that I do care for him, a lot.

Am finding it hard to respond, as I know everything that comes out will just sound like am treating you as if you're stupid, which I know you're not.

Best thing to remember is, it's harder for them knowing you have to see them go through all this, leading to the inevitable. My current GF had cancer when she was 13, and says that it's actually worse for family members and friends having to see them in that state. Don't suddenly step up the affection and what-not, but just maybe spend more time on talking about your normal, everyday life, letting him know everything you're getting upto.

Stay strong, blitz.

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#111

Posted 21 August 2011 - 09:22 PM

QUOTE (blitz @ Sunday, Aug 21 2011, 19:32)
<Snip>

Blitz, I lost my grandfather a year or so ago. He thought the world of me, I really liked him , loved him and knew that he was just as you described yours, a good man with very good advice who would take a bullet for you anyday just to see you happy.

I was the sh*ttest grandson. Maybe I exaggerate a little bit because we did get on well, I remember the sword fights we use to have with sticks, he would always lose to make me happy. When he started getting ill, as a I grew older into the teen I am today, I was the most miserable, most selfish git I have ever known. I remember one day all he wanted me to do was help him and I practically told him to sod off, when he said he loved me and I was in a bad mood, I practically told him go away I don't give a sh*t.

A tear has just crept up in my eye, after expressing myself there I feel terrible. It was only on the day he was about to die, lying there in his care home that I really felt bad, reached out to him and said I loved him. I dought he understood though, he had lost his mind and was ever so skinny. I wish I was more appreciative of him. All I can say to you mate is to go and tell him you love him before he dies no matter how much he knows, this sounds really cliche but I don't care, it's bloody true.

And if you ever feel like crying don't ever let anyone stop you. I wish I cried more, but then the "Big man, don't be a little pussy" comes into mind and stops me. Let it out, crying can be one of the most cleansing things when sad, it helps a lot. icon14.gif

I hope everything goes well and that you find a way around this. Don't make the mistake I made. I feel releived that I have just said this.

AlexGTAGamer
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#112

Posted 21 August 2011 - 09:24 PM Edited by AlexGTAGamer, 23 August 2011 - 12:14 AM.

I'm feeling all types of emotions at the moment as I finally come to terms with my diabetes which I was diagnosed with 2 months ago. It has been a very crazy past 2 months as my ma' is sueing the doctor who came to see me after I was ill for 5 days failing to see all of the signs that I had and instead claimed it was just a "mental illness". Now also my ma' is fighting the DLA after they refused to give me my DLA allowance for type 1 diabetes, instead they messed up saying that my diabetes will eventually "go away by itself" obviously thinking that I had type 2 diabetes not type 1.

But hey atleast I get to see my old in-school mentor tomorrow who was sacked from his job after a kid in school claimed he "harrased" him when he did not.

EDIT:
Met with my mentor today and it went really well, he hates the school now for what they did and now he's helped me to realise that going back to school will actually be a danger to me. So now I'm leaving school for good and I'm going to go for a full time placement at the youth group I work at instead of just part time work. My family are backing me and now I'm feeling more positive about myself and hoping to make great changes in both my life and in my community. smile.gif

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#113

Posted 23 August 2011 - 12:07 AM

QUOTE (Sanjeem @ Sunday, Aug 21 2011, 16:22)
QUOTE (blitz @ Sunday, Aug 21 2011, 19:32)
<Snip>

-snip-

That's pretty touching, other personal experiences help me a lot, I feel like I can relate to them someway. Thanks for sharing that, Sanjeem. That's really sad, that your grandpa died that way. I don't remember anytime in which I've treated my grandpa unfairly, but then again, it happens. Thanks.

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#114

Posted 23 August 2011 - 04:59 PM

If there are any spelling errors please mind them i had to get this out.

As you may know a couple months back a really old friend of mine died in a way i wish no one should die ,i was over at his house with another friend ,so lets call the other friend "friend A" and the one who died "Friend B" , So A decides to take us on a joyride (we all being 14 or 15 ,not legally allowed to drive yet either) ,i was not much in the mood so i rejected , so A got the keys and both of them went out for a spin , all was good until when i saw the car coming back and all of a sudden the car gets hit by a on coming car which tosses the car onto a bunch of trees , i rush to the car without any second thought ,the sight still haunts me , B was sitting on the passenger side (right side) which the tree hit ,covered with blood ,sharp pieces of glass and metal from the door ,i was in a state of shock ,i couldn't take it ,seeing a friend in such pain ,knowing he is on the verge of death and there was nothing i could do ,haunts me cryani.gif

He was an inspiration for me ,always had been there for me ,we were just too close , and i still after these months can't believe that i lost him.In school every kid would be talking about him ,but the thought of him or hearing about him made me just wanna cry ,i cut myself from my friends ,went to school came back did nothing ,you can see we were attached to each other like brothers.

Things didn't get any better either ,they took a turn for the worse ,my exams neared in and i started studying really hard ,but when the examination paper was infront of me i blanked out ,couldn't remember a thing i felt like i never learned any thing but i knew all of it. So i failed ,i couldn't think of anyway of explaining this to my parents or teachers or friends cause i couldn't understand what happened ,how come i knew all of the answers but at the same time i didn't ,confusing isn't it.

So ,even with a past history of being bullied by kids mentally because i never had any interest in what they did like i love basketball but hate soccer but for the other kids its the opposite ,those "bullies" found another reason to ridicule me ,they would say sh*t about me failing and stuff ,one day i couldn't take it because it was the birthday of now my late friend ,and couldn't stop thinking about him ,when this one group of kids came to me and started saying sh*t like it was my fault that my friend died ,that made me mad as anything and i just put havoc on them didn't give a damn about if i could get in trouble and just beat them to the ground or whatever , i was taken to the principal's office she had known of what i had gone through up till that day and let me of with a warning ,thank god! .

So then i had to change schools and say good-bye to my few friends ,and that was hard to do. Now over the summer they have betrayed me and just ignore me ,talk about friends confused.gif

Now i'm in a new school with no friends ,all of the kids here are dicks and mindless porn addicts ,with no one in my life to relate to.

So this is my rant ,i don't mind if you even read it ...

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#115

Posted 23 August 2011 - 05:40 PM Edited by Apex., 23 August 2011 - 05:50 PM.

This is the last place I thought id go for help. But honestly this seems like a place where I can feel comfort.

Yesterday I was playing with my puppy and fighting with him, and I saw this helplessness in his eyes, I started thinking about his death and started to feel really sad. Then I started thinking about my death and life after death and infinite time. It's been really getting at me all last night and this morning. It's been really making me feel sad.

I've tried to stop thinking about this but it just keeps coming back into my thoughts, can somebody please help me, i feel like I'm just never going to get over this...

EDIT: M.A.K I'm very sorry to hear about all you have been through, you have been very strong and I hope everything gets better for you icon14.gif

WF the Hobgoblin
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#116

Posted 23 August 2011 - 07:25 PM

QUOTE (Apex. @ Tuesday, Aug 23 2011, 18:40)
Yesterday I was playing with my puppy and fighting with him, and I saw this helplessness in his eyes, I started thinking about his death and started to feel really sad. Then I started thinking about my death and life after death and infinite time. It's been really getting at me all last night and this morning. It's been really making me feel sad.

I've tried to stop thinking about this but it just keeps coming back into my thoughts, can somebody please help me, i feel like I'm just never going to get over this...

Stop being afraid of death?


If you figure out how to do this, tell me how. Such thoughts have been creeping back in and bugging me quite often for the last decade or so.

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#117

Posted 23 August 2011 - 08:06 PM

QUOTE (WF the Hobgoblin @ Tuesday, Aug 23 2011, 19:25)
QUOTE (Apex. @ Tuesday, Aug 23 2011, 18:40)
Yesterday I was playing with my puppy and fighting with him, and I saw this helplessness in his eyes, I started thinking about his death and started to feel really sad. Then I started thinking about my death and life after death and infinite time. It's been really getting at me all last night and this morning. It's been really making me feel sad.

I've tried to stop thinking about this but it just keeps coming back into my thoughts, can somebody please help me, i feel like I'm just never going to get over this...

Stop being afraid of death?


If you figure out how to do this, tell me how. Such thoughts have been creeping back in and bugging me quite often for the last decade or so.

Easier said than done confused.gif

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#118

Posted 23 August 2011 - 08:15 PM Edited by Typhus, 23 August 2011 - 08:18 PM.

QUOTE (Apex. @ Tuesday, Aug 23 2011, 17:40)
I've tried to stop thinking about this but it just keeps coming back into my thoughts, can somebody please help me, i feel like I'm just never going to get over this...

You won't get over it. Everyone you know and love will die pointless, painful deaths. So will you. So will I. So will every Slamman, anuj and Otter walking the face of the Earth.
Some would tell you comforting stories about Heaven and Hell. But often these beliefs just mask the fear of death rather than curing it. The best thing I can tell you is this: Death solves all our problems. No more wars, taxes, sickness or work. No more messy break-ups. No more sh*tty weather. No more mad scrambling to find a house and pay your mortgage. No more irrational need to have sex with anything that moves. No more need to dull your senses with booze or drugs.
Death is the ultimate freedom from all the pain and suffering we have to endure in the world. It's the ultimate liberation and the ultimate adventure. I fear death too, I admit it. But I am excited by the prospects of what's waiting for me. What if there is a God? Or a Devil? What would it be like to meet them? Or to speak to all those who have died previously? All the great men and evil monsters alike.
Frankly, I find the thought both invigorating and terrifying all at once.
Death has a lot of positive attributes.

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#119

Posted 23 August 2011 - 08:18 PM

I have a gigantic chin and I feel really bad about it. Some people have made fun of it, others tell me I should be proud of it cause it's a very manly thing. But I hate it, and there's nothing manly about me at all, besides the chin, it just doesn't feel like myself. I have pretty low self esteem because of it.
I hope I can fix it with plastic surgery maybe, but I think I have to wait till I'm 20 years old.

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#120

Posted 23 August 2011 - 08:34 PM

QUOTE (Typhus @ Tuesday, Aug 23 2011, 20:15)
QUOTE (Apex. @ Tuesday, Aug 23 2011, 17:40)
I've tried to stop thinking about this but it just keeps coming back into my thoughts, can somebody please help me, i feel like I'm just never going to get over this...

You won't get over it. Everyone you know and love will die pointless, painful deaths. So will you. So will I. So will every Slamman, anuj and Otter walking the face of the Earth.
Some would tell you comforting stories about Heaven and Hell. But often these beliefs just mask the fear of death rather than curing it. The best thing I can tell you is this: Death solves all our problems. No more wars, taxes, sickness or work. No more messy break-ups. No more sh*tty weather. No more mad scrambling to find a house and pay your mortgage. No more irrational need to have sex with anything that moves. No more need to dull your senses with booze or drugs.
Death is the ultimate freedom from all the pain and suffering we have to endure in the world. It's the ultimate liberation and the ultimate adventure. I fear death too, I admit it. But I am excited by the prospects of what's waiting for me. What if there is a God? Or a Devil? What would it be like to meet them? Or to speak to all those who have died previously? All the great men and evil monsters alike.
Frankly, I find the thought both invigorating and terrifying all at once.
Death has a lot of positive attributes.

Wow, I never thought of it that way.

Thank you smile.gif




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