If there are any spelling errors please mind them i had to get this out.
As you may know a couple months back a really old friend of mine died in a way i wish no one should die ,i was over at his house with another friend ,so lets call the other friend "friend A" and the one who died "Friend B" , So A decides to take us on a joyride (we all being 14 or 15 ,not legally allowed to drive yet either) ,i was not much in the mood so i rejected , so A got the keys and both of them went out for a spin , all was good until when i saw the car coming back and all of a sudden the car gets hit by a on coming car which tosses the car onto a bunch of trees , i rush to the car without any second thought ,the sight still haunts me , B was sitting on the passenger side (right side) which the tree hit ,covered with blood ,sharp pieces of glass and metal from the door ,i was in a state of shock ,i couldn't take it ,seeing a friend in such pain ,knowing he is on the verge of death and there was nothing i could do ,haunts me
He was an inspiration for me ,always had been there for me ,we were just too close , and i still after these months can't believe that i lost him.In school every kid would be talking about him ,but the thought of him or hearing about him made me just wanna cry ,i cut myself from my friends ,went to school came back did nothing ,you can see we were attached to each other like brothers.
Things didn't get any better either ,they took a turn for the worse ,my exams neared in and i started studying really hard ,but when the examination paper was infront of me i blanked out ,couldn't remember a thing i felt like i never learned any thing but i knew all of it. So i failed ,i couldn't think of anyway of explaining this to my parents or teachers or friends cause i couldn't understand what happened ,how come i knew all of the answers but at the same time i didn't ,confusing isn't it.
So ,even with a past history of being bullied by kids mentally because i never had any interest in what they did like i love basketball but hate soccer but for the other kids its the opposite ,those "bullies" found another reason to ridicule me ,they would say sh*t about me failing and stuff ,one day i couldn't take it because it was the birthday of now my late friend ,and couldn't stop thinking about him ,when this one group of kids came to me and started saying sh*t like it was my fault that my friend died ,that made me mad as anything and i just put havoc on them didn't give a damn about if i could get in trouble and just beat them to the ground or whatever , i was taken to the principal's office she had known of what i had gone through up till that day and let me of with a warning ,thank god! .
So then i had to change schools and say good-bye to my few friends ,and that was hard to do. Now over the summer they have betrayed me and just ignore me ,talk about friends
Now i'm in a new school with no friends ,all of the kids here are dicks and mindless porn addicts ,with no one in my life to relate to.
So this is my rant ,i don't mind if you even read it ...