|QUOTE (Butters 2011 @ Apr 30 2011, 18:08)|
| Anyone else gone through a smiliar period in their life, and any tips on what I could do? |
I did read that and whilst I don't feel any pity for you, I am
disgusted that people would treat a homeless fellow such as yourself in such a manner. Jumping on your head? Why on Earth did they do that? Just for fun, probably. Yes, you've had a rough life, and seen the cruel nature of the world up close and personal.
And like so many other people your misery seems to stem from trying to live for other people. You tried to live for your Mum and Dad, they were just disappointed in you. You tried to live for the prospect of having friends, they mocked you. Hell, you even tried to live for some woman, she cuckolded you mercilessly.
Sir, you need to live for yourself. Selfishness is no vice, not after a man has suffered as you has suffered. Take solace in the fact that you have reached rock bottom, who else knows what that's like? You've seen the worst humanity has to offer, you've experienced things most people spend their miserable existence dreading. You don't have to be a slave. And love is what has made you a slave up until now.
You're right to abandon hope in others, there are no really good people out there, everyone is rotten inside and filled with gnawing, wriggling maggots. If you continue to try and court the approval of morons and Philistines, you will do nothing but relive your misery and revisit all those bitter feelings of alienation and failiure.
When you live for yourself, you define success. Indeed, when you live for yourself, you can judge when you have and haven't failed. You are your own master, in charge of your own fate. Don't be a puppet, stay the course and go for your dreams, leave all those detractors in the dust. Reject alcohol, durgs, tobbacco and sex. All the things that turn your mind into a flophouse. Be your own man and you will find what you're looking for.