Share your feelings
Posted 24 April 2011 - 04:09 PM Edited by kmlwin.1996, 13 May 2011 - 07:05 AM.
I'm gonna share.
He is not an actually my grandpa. But I call him like that. I usually call grandpa U Maung to him. He is my grandma's uncle and 87 years old.
He is now at hospital. I am so sad to hear his news . He has Liver Cancer and the doctor says "He has only have a little months to stay alive."
But when I visit him at hospital, he is nearly dead. He ain't dead but he can't see me well. He can't say well now. Once he was a great man with bravery and strength. But now, he is in bed. He can't move well and weak. He was proud of his strength but now he is very thin, battling with death.
I wanna cry when I see him. I love him and he loves me. We are like friends. He teaches me how to live well in human world. When I said about the internet, he looks at me surprisingly and said "You are master of it. Can you show me the internet?"
I always want him to show and tell about internet, but I use internet at internet cafe. When I get internet at home, he becomes not well and our family all becomes know he has Liver Cancer. He has to live in hospital till he is dead.
I always want him to go around the world and show him everything. But now, if I can, but he can't.
I don't cry outside but in my heart, there are tears. I want to cure him as I can. I want him to see Shwedagon Pagoda and say the prayers for his own good. We are Buddhists and we believe afterlife.
As our god Buddha says "If you lives, you will die". Anyone in this world will die oneday. Noting and no one can stop the death. The only way to freedom is Nirvana, where there is no life so no death, no pain, no trouble. There'll be no life.
Death easily comes. Buddha said "Before you stretch your bend hand, you can die." Buddha also died. So, I must know that everyone will die and I will cure my grandpa U Maung for his relieve of his pain.
U Maung will die one day. I will die one day. All of us will die one day. Noway to trick death.
So, every night, I say my prayers and tell to U Maung in my mind, "Live as well as you can".
This is my story of the day.
MY GRANDDAD DIED ON THE 11 MAY!!! I WAS VERY SAD ABOUT HIM! MAY HE IN HEAVEN.
- Android, Rainbow Party and Darth_Zannah like this
Posted 24 April 2011 - 04:18 PM
Posted 24 April 2011 - 04:25 PM
Posted 24 April 2011 - 04:25 PM
- Android likes this
Posted 24 April 2011 - 04:28 PM
Posted 24 April 2011 - 05:26 PM
But the person in my family I feel sorry for the most is my mum, both her real parents and her adopted parents were very cruel to her, "love thy mother and thy father"? My mum said that she would spit on her mother's grave that's how much she despises her.
Posted 24 April 2011 - 10:08 PM
A little sincerity goes along way these days.
Posted 24 April 2011 - 10:26 PM
Anyway, thank you for sharing your story.
Posted 24 April 2011 - 11:22 PM
If we ever find a way to cheat death, we will do so at the cost of our humanity. That would be a terrible price to pay.
When my great grandfather passed away last year, we all took it pretty hard. To see a man who - even in his 90's - could kick your ass one-handed reduced to a frail body in a bed was pretty tough. But to know that after he had a chance to say goodbye, he could finally rest forever, we were grateful that he had the courage to stick around for those goodbyes.
Hang in there, pardner.
Posted 24 April 2011 - 11:38 PM
I was alongside my grandfather when he died of lung cancer literally felt the life leave his body. It was a saddening yet awakening experience, U maung will be in our prayers bro
Posted 24 April 2011 - 11:49 PM
I hate how society is right now. I hate that people have to be some way to be loved and cared for in society. There's fat people out there with huge hearts, which people don't pay attention to just because they are fat. There's people out there who's face isn't as pretty, but their heart is huge. Yet society doesn't care about them. I hate the thought about people committing suicide because of bullying. I haven't been bullied, but I know how it feels like. I really do. I am not exactly the 'normal average kid.' I'm kind of anti-social and my computer is my best friend. I simply can not stand the fact that people discriminate others because of their sexuality, skin color, or religion. In my school, if you do one thing you don't want to, then you're gay, or retarded or something. I don't smoke, or drink, or do any type of drug. My friends do, and I'm up to the point were the peer pressure is just raging. I hate it that people just want to grow up so fast. They want to start being adults when they are not even close. I'm 14. I want to enjoy the 4 years left of my 'childhood.' I want to play sports, video games, and do stuff without having to think about problems. I just want to be me.
Wow, now THAT is a relief.
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Posted 25 April 2011 - 12:05 AM
And I don't feel a thing, no, I don't mean that as some 'Look-How-Evil-I-Am' plea for attention, I really mean it. My family's all sad and I just don't get why. I have to feign sorrow.
Then, when my Grandmother dies, I don't just feel nothing, it's worse than that. When my own cousins are in the church, giving their speeches about her, I have to stop myself laughing. Their eyes are all red, their voices are getting all high and they seem so very laughable. I wished her dead, you know. Senile old woman, constantly getting in the way, meddling, guilt-tripping us. I don't know why I cried when I saw her dying or when I held her hand as she laid on the bed and couldn't even open her eyes, but I did. I had to get the f*ck out of there.
I get worried because I wonder how I'm going to act when my Mum dies or someone else close to me. I sometimes feel like the most disgusting piece of sh*t in the world who just wears the face of a good man to convince people I'm human.
Posted 25 April 2011 - 12:12 AM
|QUOTE (Typhus @ Apr 24 2011, 16:05)|
|I get worried|
...we all mourn in our own way.
Posted 25 April 2011 - 12:13 AM
First good thread in a very, very long time.
Posted 25 April 2011 - 12:19 AM
@SOCIETY: Surprisingly, I haven't met too many people that have been so heartless as to do the things that you described. I can't agree with you that society doesn't care for these people because of this.
@Typhus: To be honest, sometimes I wonder if I'll be the same way when one of my close relatives do pass away. It's like I can empathize with others but I don't actually have feelings of myself to express in occasions such as these.
Posted 25 April 2011 - 12:34 AM
Posted 25 April 2011 - 01:05 AM
Posted 25 April 2011 - 01:25 AM
|QUOTE (El Zilcho @ Apr 25 2011, 01:05)|
|I got to say I thought I was the only one (referring to Typhus) because I can't relate to my Mother at all. I never even spoke to her til I was 12 and I can't being myself to love someone who is still essentially a stranger in all but name. She can't even communicate with me because I don't speak her language, and vice versa. Having lived with a single Father who has been all I needed as a parent all my life - acting the "happy family" now 'communication' has been restabilished is very hard. As I just said, it's simply acting. And it pains me.|
I'm sorry for that loss you experience, I can see why acting it out must be painfull because you know she's you mother, but you can't really relate to her.
My Dad died when I was 6 from Alcohol, I knew him a little, not enough to make me weep though, although I do wish things could have maybe been different. I'm happy though I got a loving mother, used to have an awesome and loving grandfather, and I'm now left with my grandmother who is probably one of the only people in the world that I have felt great compasion and love toward because she's just so kind, I also live under the same roof with her, she's somtimes cooks me breakfast when I wake up too late, she's a really good cook, she looks after the dog and she doesn't deserve to be in any form of pain, ever in her lifetime. If it were me who could take a fall for a broken arm instead of her, I would not hesitate, beleive it. I would also say I would put my life on the line for her aswell, but I just know that, that would be somthing she would never ever want me to do.
Posted 25 April 2011 - 01:36 AM
Grandparents are great. All the stories, the history.
Posted 25 April 2011 - 08:59 AM
|QUOTE (kmlwin.1996 @ Apr 24 2011, 16:09)|
|When I said about the internet, he looks at me surprisingly and said "You are master of it. Can you show me the internet?"|
That. Is. Awesome. About moved me to tears, bro.
Thanks for sharing your story. If I can offer you anything that helps comfort the sorrow you're feeling, it's that I understand where you're coming from. I lost my father to cancer when I was just 8. Needless to say, it was life-changing to lose someone that was so dear and close to me, and it wasn't easy to cope with the pain. But after time and reflection I learned that death is just a natural part of life as birth is. Despite my father losing his life, it was as if new life was breathed into me and my family at the very instance that he passed, only it took some time to realize and understand it.
Sounds as though your grandfather has led a long and meaningful life, and he's going to die a happy man. Don't fear his inevitable death. As he passes, his knowledge, lessons, and good character will continue to live through you and others who he touched.
Posted 25 April 2011 - 09:18 AM
Posted 25 April 2011 - 11:03 AM
Posted 25 April 2011 - 01:54 PM
The only close relative I've had pass away was my step fathers mother. She was around since I was about 5 years old and was an amazing woman. She could be grouchy, but she had a heart of gold and loved buying things for my sister and I. She died about 2 years ago now. I remember trying so hard at the funeral not to cry, and I didn't. I guess I was too tough to show my emotions at the time, when in reality I really don't mind showing them. I didn't realize how much she meant to me, till she was gone. She meant more to me than my real grandmother on my dads side, who is still living and I don't speak to.
Life is such a fragile thing and at any moment any one of us could die. It's scary to think about, but that's the way life is.
Posted 25 April 2011 - 11:13 PM
Not everyone gets the special thing of having grandparents.
I am forever grateful for my grandfathers. There is no way my father could have taught me the woodworking and electrical skills my grandfathers did.
Posted 25 April 2011 - 11:46 PM
You see when people talk about their family being awesome and what not, nobody really understands unless they are in the same situation as you.
Posted 26 April 2011 - 12:16 AM
What shook me to my core and still does today is exactly what you've said. You've known these people be like your idol from when you were little and do so much with their lives. Then you see them go from being healthy to being completely bed ridden, thin as a stick and not even able to move (the doctors didn't know he had multiple mini strokes throughout his 2 months in the hospital) which basically left him unable to do anything. What scared me the most was seeing him in an elderly care unit sitting on one of those chairs, weighing about 5/6stone (he's about 5"9) and seeing that he couldn't even pull himself out of the chair let alone talk to any of us or eat. Looking at him right then (with the other old people in the room) he looked like he was on deaths door. Its still tough to talk about it and I think it always will be. What makes me angry is the fact my brother couldn't even take the time out of those 2 and a half months he was ill to come and see him. Not once, let alone be there for my gran. Not even a phone call.
All you can be happy about is the fact he was there for you, took the time to teach you some life lessons (as well as teaching him some things I'm sure) and that he got the most out of his life.
Posted 26 April 2011 - 07:29 AM
Posted 26 April 2011 - 10:40 AM
Big shock there.
Now I've applied to Macdonalds.
How the f*ck do you think I feel?
Posted 26 April 2011 - 11:00 AM
|QUOTE (Ziggy455 @ Apr 26 2011, 10:40)|
| I just received a PM from a Tattoo shop telling me that they've denied my apprenticeship position and given it to a woman.|
Big shock there.
Now I've applied to Macdonalds.
How the f*ck do you think I feel?
Excuse the French but..
Selfish F*CK you are
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