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GTA IV: Balkan Valor

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Docfaustino
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#151

Posted 29 May 2011 - 02:11 AM Edited by Pedochu, 29 May 2011 - 02:18 AM.

Hmm...I don't want to be possessive here. If you could credit me for the idea, or write them in as some sort of flashback in the vein of L.A Noire. Dreams were just my version of the creative cutscene, which is nothing new to these concepts. I'm really glad that you like the missions, there will be another tomorrow. If anyone remembers where Besmir selfishly tried to hook Vlad on cocaine, we'll see a little more of his ugly side when he comes to terms with Dardan's inevitable death. I'm not going to spell out Besmir's motives in words really, because I said from the beginning that he is a new-school gangster, far from the Jon Gravelli era where gangsters grew up fighting to survive. He was born in a penthouse, thus, he sees nothing wrong with taking the easy route in life, which will ultimately hit him pretty hard. Many thanks to all the readers, it makes me glad to see this concept is finally picking up!

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#152

Posted 29 May 2011 - 10:55 AM

QUOTE (LuisBellic @ May 29 2011, 02:00)
The new missions are fantastic. May I borrow your dream idea? There's some background about my character, and him almost being a victim of Organ Trafficing and watching people get slaughtered is one of the dream ideas I have.

why does a lot of your work seem like a composite of other peoples idea's?

any hints as to the next mission Ped?

Docfaustino
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#153

Posted 29 May 2011 - 04:48 PM Edited by Pedochu, 29 May 2011 - 04:55 PM.

From now on, all missions will be posted at 2:00 - 3:00 PM Eastern.

(Editing 8th Mission now) Preview:

Mission #8 - Shqiptaret Besa for Dardan Petrela

In the aftermath of Kaltrina Krasniq's shooting, the entire family is left in a deep depression. The former boss and Kaltrina's husband, Preston Pecinovsky is nowhere to be found, and their morale is deeply damaged by infighting and Petrovic's violent advances on their businesses. In a rare moment, Besmir's brother Driton sympathizes with him, and both take a moment to reminisce about better days. Meanwhile, Dardan is off his rocker having traumatic flashbacks to the day a group of Serb punks cracked Kalem's skull and with their bats, inflicted him with brain damage. In this mission, Besmir will be dragged deep in to Dardan's psyche, and is forced in to spending a day helping Dardan collect on his loans. Meanwhile, Marvin Walsh, now spying for Besmir at the Hove Beach Police Station makes a major breakthrough.

LuisBellic
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#154

Posted 29 May 2011 - 06:08 PM

QUOTE (Claude4Catalina @ May 29 2011, 10:55)
QUOTE (LuisBellic @ May 29 2011, 02:00)
The new missions are fantastic. May I borrow your dream idea? There's some background about my character, and him almost being a victim of Organ Trafficing and watching people get slaughtered is one of the dream ideas I have.

why does a lot of your work seem like a composite of other peoples idea's?

any hints as to the next mission Ped?

It's not going to be exactly the same as in his story. They're going to be Flashbacks that happen to the player after certain points of the story.

Money Over Bullshit
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#155

Posted 29 May 2011 - 10:45 PM

QUOTE (LuisBellic @ May 29 2011, 19:08)
QUOTE (Claude4Catalina @ May 29 2011, 10:55)
QUOTE (LuisBellic @ May 29 2011, 02:00)
The new missions are fantastic. May I borrow your dream idea? There's some background about my character, and him almost being a victim of Organ Trafficing and watching people get slaughtered is one of the dream ideas I have.

why does a lot of your work seem like a composite of other peoples idea's?

any hints as to the next mission Ped?

It's not going to be exactly the same as in his story. They're going to be Flashbacks that happen to the player after certain points of the story.

Like L.A. Noire??

blitz
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#156

Posted 30 May 2011 - 12:43 AM

Nice concept you got here, Pedochu. Glad to see it progressing every day icon14.gif

fgcarva1
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#157

Posted 30 May 2011 - 12:45 AM

Crome, you said you'd upload the next mission today. Where is itttt? smile.gif

Docfaustino
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#158

Posted 30 May 2011 - 01:13 AM

Well, it was more like a two part mission that I had to compress in to one. And in my experience those don't get any reads. Had a major problem focusing today as well. Hopefully tomorrow, you know I never put this stuff off for long. Another problem is that I had to write from the point of police officers, which confuses the hell out of me.

fgcarva1
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#159

Posted 30 May 2011 - 01:37 AM

Haha, no worries, I am just really excited to see the next part smile.gif

Docfaustino
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#160

Posted 30 May 2011 - 01:46 AM

That's great! Glad I've built up interest. Just (to all readers) I'd like to know what you want to see. Helps me get missions out on time.

Akavari
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#161

Posted 30 May 2011 - 01:52 AM

To really be honest I'd like to see a crossover explaining something in GTA IV, like the war between the Albanians and the McReary Mob? Perhaps that's too farther along though..

Docfaustino
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#162

Posted 30 May 2011 - 02:00 AM

That's how I started this concept actually. The war was brilliant, but the burning question for me was always "how did the Albanians find out Gerry's involvement?" I ran all the possibilites through my head, and I ended up writing this. Major crossovers so far are 'Undertaker', 'Actions Speak Louder than Words', and 'Corner Kids'. Unfortunately, I can't for the life of me figure out how to work a significant crossover earlier in to the story. Message me or something if you have ideas.

Akavari
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#163

Posted 30 May 2011 - 02:04 AM

QUOTE (Pedochu @ May 30 2011, 02:00)
That's how I started this concept actually. The war was brilliant, but the burning question for me was always "how did the Albanians find out Gerry's involvement?" I ran all the possibilites through my head, and I ended up writing this. Major crossovers so far are 'Undertaker', 'Actions Speak Louder than Words', and 'Corner Kids'. Unfortunately, I can't for the life of me figure out how to work a significant crossover earlier in to the story. Message me or something if you have ideas.

If I figure anything out I'll be sure to PM it to you icon14.gif

Will the Albanian in Gerry's freezer during 'I Need Your Clothes, Your Boots, and Your Motorcycle' appear in the story? I think it would be interesting to see the turmoil that arises when a major player in the Albanian mob goes missing, only to resurface with the rumor that he went and assassinated Frankie Garone.

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#164

Posted 30 May 2011 - 02:11 AM

I can't really say anything about the Ancelotti relations without spoiling a big part of the story. Mind if I send you the idea I have going right now?

LuisBellic
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#165

Posted 30 May 2011 - 02:15 AM

QUOTE (Money Over Bullsh*t @ May 29 2011, 22:45)
QUOTE (LuisBellic @ May 29 2011, 19:08)
QUOTE (Claude4Catalina @ May 29 2011, 10:55)
QUOTE (LuisBellic @ May 29 2011, 02:00)
The new missions are fantastic. May I borrow your dream idea? There's some background about my character, and him almost being a victim of Organ Trafficing and watching people get slaughtered is one of the dream ideas I have.

why does a lot of your work seem like a composite of other peoples idea's?

any hints as to the next mission Ped?

It's not going to be exactly the same as in his story. They're going to be Flashbacks that happen to the player after certain points of the story.

Like L.A. Noire??

I've never played LA Noire.

Akavari
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#166

Posted 30 May 2011 - 02:20 AM

QUOTE (Pedochu @ May 30 2011, 02:11)
I can't really say anything about the Ancelotti relations without spoiling a big part of the story. Mind if I send you the idea I have going right now?

Go ahead smile.gif

LuisBellic
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#167

Posted 30 May 2011 - 02:27 AM

Maybe you can explain the war between The Albanians and The Lost MC.

Docfaustino
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#168

Posted 30 May 2011 - 10:30 PM Edited by Pedochu, 30 May 2011 - 11:33 PM.

Mission #8 - Shqiptaret PD for Dardan Petrela

Note: This is a very long mission. But it is the set-up for the finale of this chapter. It establishes why Driton will survive and Dardan won't. Readers, tell me why this is if you can. Check out the kill/spare at the end and tell me what you would choose. Scroll down and find the RED TEXT if you just want to read the second half, or BLUE TEXT if you just want to read the action.

In the aftermath of Kaltrina Krasniq's shooting, the entire family is left in a deep depression. The former boss and Kaltrina's husband, Preston Pecinovsky is nowhere to be found, and their morale is deeply damaged by infighting and Petrovic's violent advances on their businesses. In a rare moment, Besmir's brother Driton sympathizes with him, and both take a moment to reminisce about better days. Meanwhile, Dardan is off his rocker having traumatic flashbacks to the day a group of Serb punks cracked Kalem's skull and with their bats, inflicted him with brain damage. In this mission, Besmir will be dragged deep in to Dardan's psyche, and is forced in to spending a day helping Dardan collect on his loans. Meanwhile, Marvin Walsh, now spying for Besmir at the Hove Beach Police Station makes a major breakthrough.


Returning Characters.

user posted imageuser posted imageuser posted imageuser posted imageuser posted image
Besmir KrasniqDriton PecinovskyDardan PetrelaBledar MorinaMarvin Walsh
New Characters

[/tr]
user posted imageuser posted image
Roman BellicWilson
Besmir enters his home in Boulevard. The penthouse is remarkably empty. No mother. No father. All that remains is memories, photos in the hallway, and Besmir's least favorite family member. Speaking of which, Driton is kneeling over a photo of his missing father. He holds his tears in. It's an unsaid rule - even in tragedy, a lieutenant doesn't cry. As always, the only peaceful moments between Besmir and Driton are when they truly need each other. Otherwise, their rivalry is bitter. Driton turns his head.


Driton: Besmir. Have you gone to see your mother?

Besmir: [shaking his head silently]

Driton: I met with Dardan. He's accepted that Preston will come back to rule once more as boss of the family. Even Dardan understands there are times when you must fight, and times to restore peace. And Besmir.

Besmir: Yeah?

Driton: I'm sorry for the burden. Forced to kill a dozen men before you hit 30. And now, what happened to Kaltrina...whatever happened to her. I am scared for all of us.

Besmir: I'm glad I get some sympathy. Honest.

Driton: One more thing. Somebody keeps calling and hanging up. I think it's Marvin Walsh. I'll make the arrangements, you and Dardan relay back to me what he says.

Besmir: Sure. I would have problems taking orders from you. But maybe the boss position is cursed. You can call the shots for now. Just don't get too big on yourself.

Driton: Thank you.

A honking horn outside the apartment catches Besmir's ear. It's a well known procedure to stick by your captain during a mob war, as it allow every crew to stick together and keep earning. Dardan has been doing his part, and even has plans to show Besmir a few extortionate ways to earn money.

Dardan: Besmir! Time to show you how a real man earns his take.

Besmir: I'm doing fine. Driton hooked me up with a gem deal. Got a kilo or two. Some blue collar stuff, like robbery.

Dardan: Besmir, how much money do you owe me? A real man collects tribute, protection, and loans. I'm shaking down a joint near Petrovic's turf. Easiest way to get back at him. A Serb too.

Besmir: Forget the Serbs, Dardan. This isn't the war.

Dardan: A Serb gang cracked Kalem's skull. He will NEVER be the same. And I will kill one Serb for every strike of a bat to Kalem's head. Are you with me, soldier.

Besmir: Well Dardan, I'm not really the racist type.

Dardan: It's not racism. More like ethnic cleansing. God's work.

Besmir: You're getting ahead of yourself. I secretly studied god for years. Have you?

Dardan: No. However, God and I both understand force. What's that thing where he flooded up the world? God can't stand Jews. I can't stand Serbs. And f*ck me if I don't have good reason.

Besmir: What?

Dardan: Forget it. Here we are. Bledar and I will shake him down. You drive the car if anything goes wrong.

Dardan and Bledar exit the car. You can just faintly hear voices coming from within. The voice is of Roman Bellic, aspiring entrepreneur. A minute later, Dardan exits. Suddenly, Dardan appears to have dragged a Serbian customer outside on the street, and is hitting him over the head repeatedly. He screams maniacally.

Dardan: We're doing God's work on these Serbs, Besmir. God's work!

Honk at Dardan when you're ready.

Suddenly, the ground begins to shake. You hear a sharp piercing noise, Dardan loses his balance, and covers his ears in shock. It's a chopper filled to the brim with trained and deadly agents of the FIB. You now have four stars.

Bledar: [screaming] What the hell is that!

FIB Agents: Dardan Petrela, come out with your hands up. You're under arrest for racketeering and numerous assault charges. Word to the wise. You can't shoot your way out of this one.

Besmir: What did you do this time?

Bledar: sh*t. If you go down, we're all guilty by association. We have to fight this. Where can we hide?

Dardan: Uh...Uh...The sugar factory down under.

Besmir: No, we dismembered an Amiti guy down there.

Dardan: What?

Bledar: Either way, BOABO is still our safest bet. How about that tunnel that leads in to Dukes?

Besmir: Dukes Park Tunnel. I'll get you there safe. Out of the three of us, who is the best shot?

Bledar: I had to snipe a politician for Preston once. Park me next to the tunnel, I've got a plan.

Park Bledar next to the tunnel.

Besmir: Come on Dardan. Bledar will snipe from up there, we hold down this tunnel.

The FIB gets there soon after. They attempt to make Dardan give in, but after the death of a cop, it's all out war. For every 5 deaths on the opposing side, you go down one star. However, Dardan is heavily demoralized. All he asks is that you find out who did this to him.

Besmir: I can't shoot and use this phone at the same time.

Dardan: Just find out who f*cking set me up, I'll rip his f*cking heart out!

Calling Marvin Walsh

Besmir: Marvin! Just what the hell is going on here? I got hostile FIB up the ass, you're supposed to protect us from this!

Marvin: You think you're paranoid? What the hell do I do if they find out I'm working for you? I'm working on it.

There is a cut to Marvin's office at the Hove Beach LCPD Station. As their FIB representative, he has been awarded a spacious office. A young upstart by the name of Wilson is listening in, texting furiously to an unkown contact. The two bump in to each other, and both phones are dropped. Marvin reaches down on to the floor. On Wilson's phone, he sees a message. A message to a 'K. Petrovic'.

"Ken. I don't know how well this arrest will work. Dardan Petrela is a world class killer, as well as a diagnosed psychopath. Regardless, we're sending the expendable black and latino cops out first. - Wilson"

Wilson reaches over to Marvin's phone, and sees a call to Besmir Krasniq. Each cover is blown. Marvin stares up at Wilson for five whole seconds, amazed at what he has seen. Marvin attempts to awkwardly strangle Wilson.

Marvin: Besmir, get over here right now! I swear on my own grave, Petrovic gunmen are coming for me. Dardan's arrest was a - [choking noises]

Besmir: sh*t! Marvin Walsh is in trouble. Dardan, Petrovic is hitting you and all your contacts as hard as he can. We can fight idiot cops, but it's hard fighting such perseverance.

Dardan: I whacked 13 heavy hitters in my day. Don't worry about it.

Besmir: Give it a rest, Dardan. We're all worrying.

Bledar: I can't see any more coppers over the horizon. I think now's our chance.

Find a 4-door car.

Bledar: It's exhausting. I can't take this sh*t any more!

Besmir: Why does Petrovic still torture us? I have to end this.

Bledar: No you don't. One strong move against him and we're all dead. One step at a time, Besmir. First let's get to Marvin

Drive to the Hove Beach Station.

A tracking shot follows a badly bruised and bloodied Besmir, Dardan, and Bledar. Besmir leads the pack. By now, Marvin is outside the station. Wilson is pointing a gun at Marvin, who appears to have lost the fight. And is threatening to kill him if he doesn't reveal whether or not he was plotting against Petrovic. Bledar silently sneaks up behind him, before putting Wilson in a chokehold. Wilson's gun fires up towards the sky. Thankfully, missing Marvin. Dardan quickly grabs the gun, and the duo shove him inside a cab. You all climb in. Dardan puts a gun to the cabbie's head, and orders him to hightail it across the Broker Bridge. Besmir is immediately impressed with their ingenuity, and follows along, putting a gun to Wilson's head. Wilson seems to immediately understand that this is a kidnapping, and he best not leave the car under penalty of death.

Press (X) to slap Wilson.
Press (B) to punch Wilson.
Press (Y) to interrogate Wilson.
Use logical button combinations to extra information.

Dardan: Move it, Cabbie. To Leftwood.

Bledar: What's over in Leftwood?

Dardan: You'll find out when we get there. This should be fun.

Besmir: [interrogating] What the f*ck is wrong with Kenny Petrovic?

Wilson: Oh, how tables turn, Wilson. The cop is asked to snitch.

Bledar: Do you honestly speak in the third person?

Wilson: Wilson wants to go home now.

Besmir: f*cking idiot is in some state of shock. [slap] WAKE UP!

Bledar: Remember that torture case of '04? That was the Petrela Crew, and you damn well know it. Hurry this up or Dardan might get impatient.

Wilson: You want me to talk? Fine. That police department is riddled with Petrovic informants. Best case scenario. Marvin Walsh takes on a whole precinct. Who do you think will win?

Bledar: Let me tell you something, you little f*ck. I can't promise we'll win anything. But Marvin Walsh is Besmirs guy. You touch him and Kaltrina will cut out your f*cking heart.

Wilson: Ooh. He runs to his comatose mother? I'm a-scared.

Besmir: [Punching] WHAT ELSE DO YOU GOT?

Wilson: Ok, ok! Petrovic is forming partnerships. Just f*cking let me go already!

Dardan: Over my dead body. We got your gun, man. What you gonna do, poke me?

Wilson: Act all tough, Dardan. Petrovic will come for me. Is Kaltrina any good in the sack? Petrovic had interests in her.

Besmir: f*ck YOU! [Besmir shoots Wilson behind the ear]

Dardan: f*ck! You just shot a cop...yeah, keep going cabbie or you're next. That's not ok!

Bledar: Dardan, you just killed 20 cops yourself.

Dardan: Should I...should I check his pulse?

Besmir: Yeah, that's gonna bring him back to life. He insulted my mother, and as I recall, in the old country, that's punishable by death. Forget it.

Dardan: Here we are at Leftwood Sports shop. Besmir, get yourself a hat to cover that trembling little face of yours. We'll keep the cabbie here.

Cabbie: No! Please, I have a loving husband, an adopted daughter...

Bledar: This just gets better and better.

Clerk: Welcome to Leftwood Sports, how can I help you slugger?

Find and purchase a baseball cap.
Caps, glasses, and dark clothing will help conceal your identity to the police.
This one is on the house.
Exit the store.

Dardan: Back already? Shame. I was having so much fun with our witness. Thanks for doing the dirty work, cabbie.

Bledar: Uh. Besmir. I thought you should know before we surprise you. In situations like this, the Petrela Crew leaves no witnesses.

Besmir: This guy's a sweet old man!

Kill or spare the cabbie.

Bledar: If that's your decision...Now to deal with whoever is inside.

Kill or spare the clerk.

Dardan: Your decisions don't surprise me. Don't worry about us. We have sharp trigger fingers, no? Just watch out for yourself. In a few years, who knows. You might actually survive.

If you spared one, and not the other, you will receive $500 and a 1 star Wanted Level. If you spared both, you will receive $1000, and a 2 star wanted level. If you killed both, you will receive no money, and no wanted level.

Shqiptaret PD complete
+$0 - $1000
+Leftwood Sports Unlocked
+Small chance of a 1 star wanted level when around cops

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#169

Posted 30 May 2011 - 10:32 PM

Awesome Crome. I liked this one alot cool.gif

fgcarva1
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#170

Posted 30 May 2011 - 11:31 PM

Nice Crome!
QUOTE
Dardan: It's not racism. More like ethnic cleansing. God's work.
haha that's something you would totally say Crome!
and that
QUOTE
We're sending the expendable black and latino cops out first.


Just some things to point out.
QUOTE
Marvin: You want me to talk? Fine. That police department is riddled with Petrovic informants. Best case scenario. Marvin Walsh takes on a whole precinct. Who do you think will win?

Wouldn't Wilson be the one saying that?

I think I had some more things to point out but forgot. Anyway, nice job!

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#171

Posted 30 May 2011 - 11:39 PM

QUOTE (fgcarva1 @ May 30 2011, 19:31)
Nice Crome!
QUOTE
Dardan: It's not racism. More like ethnic cleansing. God's work.
haha that's something you would totally say Crome!
and that
QUOTE
We're sending the expendable black and latino cops out first.


Just some things to point out.
QUOTE
Marvin: You want me to talk? Fine. That police department is riddled with Petrovic informants. Best case scenario. Marvin Walsh takes on a whole precinct. Who do you think will win?

Wouldn't Wilson be the one saying that?

I think I had some more things to point out but forgot. Anyway, nice job!

Why I never. sly.gif I'm glad somebody read all the way through because unfortunately, character development sometimes takes a page or two of effort. Yeah, I fixed it to include Wilson's name. At the end of the mission, Bledar is jaded from constantly being the brains to Dardan's brawn. Dardan has refused redemption, not even thinking twice about the emotional toll of ordering Besmir to kill innocents. Besmir is still unhealthily attached to his mother, and every member of the family is too caught up in their own affairs to give him guidance. There's a reason the selfish and amoral always get clipped in Liberty City, they refuse to redeem themselves.

Come to think of it, I might actually edit BLEDAR in as a main character in the character's page. I got really interested in writing for him, and now he's been the sole mentor to Besmir.

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#172

Posted 30 May 2011 - 11:56 PM

Also, Crome. I still don't understand if Preston is Besmir's step dad or biological father?

Docfaustino
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#173

Posted 30 May 2011 - 11:59 PM

It's supposed to be kind of dubious. Besmir would never admit that Preston is actually his stepfather, and Preston would never admit that his real legitimate son was Driton. When Besmir and Driton eventually start quarreling, Driton is quick to tell everyone the truth just to gain more supporters. You have to remember that their family is just as dysfunctional as Mori and Brucie's family. Anyone else give this a read?

Money Over Bullshit
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#174

Posted 01 June 2011 - 11:32 PM

I don't see any weapons in this topic... is there a reason for that??

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#175

Posted 02 June 2011 - 12:03 AM

QUOTE (Money Over Bullsh*t @ Jun 1 2011, 19:32)
I don't see any weapons in this topic... is there a reason for that??

Are they showing up? I've had problems with forum glitches in the past.

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#176

Posted 02 June 2011 - 01:33 AM

I see the weapons... beginning of 4th post.

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#177

Posted 02 June 2011 - 01:36 AM

Speaking of which, I still need some suggestions for them. I wanted to go crazy with Melee weapons. What really screams, "Crazy Albanian psycho" to you. Chainsaw? Or is that too cliched?

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#178

Posted 02 June 2011 - 06:47 AM

QUOTE (Pedochu @ Jun 2 2011, 01:36)
Speaking of which, I still need some suggestions for them. I wanted to go crazy with Melee weapons. What really screams, "Crazy Albanian psycho" to you. Chainsaw? Or is that too cliched?

Chainsaw could work out IMO. How about adding a chain whip (although its chinese) or a switch blade?

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#179

Posted 02 June 2011 - 06:58 AM Edited by Pedochu, 02 June 2011 - 07:02 AM.

Ha! Chain whip would be perfect. Kaltrina is implied to have an interest in S&M and bondage. I started out with a very subtle clue with her use of a high heel over a gun. Eventually, a bondage chain actually plays an integral part in the storyline. Might just write that in as a chain whip. Thanks, man. Dardan uses a switch blade, so it's a good choice as well. Sometimes it's more of a question of finding the icons than gathering ideas. However, these two never occurred to me.

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#180

Posted 02 June 2011 - 01:55 PM Edited by Money Over Bullshit, 02 June 2011 - 02:00 PM.

I see them now. I must be going blind haha.

Those weapons are ok but a lot of them don't really fit in with the albanian theme.

Here are some names of weapons used by the Albanian Military:

Pistols

Makarov PM
TT-33

SMG

MP5

Assault Rifle

G36
G3

Machine Gun

RPK

Sniper Rifle

Dragunov SVD

If you really want to go for an anti-material rifle though what you want is a Barrett M82

Oh and FYI the gun you have labelled an AN 94 isn't an AN 94 it's an M16




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