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GTA IV: Life's Price

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#571

Posted 01 October 2011 - 10:32 AM

Good updates man.

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#572

Posted 09 October 2011 - 11:40 AM

Nice updates dude.

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#573

Posted 10 October 2011 - 08:59 AM

QUOTE (LuisBellic @ Sunday, Oct 9 2011, 20:40)
Nice updates dude.

Agreed here, very nice topic to read.

Can we expect some missions in the near future?

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#574

Posted 27 October 2011 - 03:07 PM

Le bump

Just letting you know, I started working on this again. This is my 8k post tounge.gif

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#575

Posted 28 October 2011 - 09:23 PM



Enslaved
Mission Giver: Samara
Mission Start: Alderney Safehouse
Unlocked After: Complete missions 1-17, only available during daylight.

Revenge is something that happens everyday. People are avenging on their sworn nemesis, only for their own satisfaction. You can compare revenge to a huge desert, its never a straight road. It's a wasteland, and just like every other wasteland, it's easy to lose your way and forget where you were going.

Rami Yalon decides to visit his son and his wife once again. He grabs [/I]his stomach for a second and then opens the front door and walks inside. There's nobody on the first floor. ''Samara? Aaron? Anyone here?'', Rami wasn't getting any respond. It was kinda suspicious, so he checked if his gun was reloaded, making his way upstairs. He slowly approached his son's room and slowly opened the door, having his gun ready. He was hearing a noisy sound.

He kicked the door open and aimed the gun on his own son, who was wearing a headset, so he just listened to some music. ''Paranoid again, father? Haha.'', laughed his son evilly. Rami got his gun back as quick as he could and asked: ''Aaron, have you seen your mother? I thought, maybe we could do something together. Like a family. His son took off his headsets and stood up. ''You had more than 24 years to do something with your family. You wanted to kill instead.'', Aaron didn't show any kind of understanding.

Rami sat down on the nearest chair, so did Aaron. ''Aaron, I was thinking a lot. I am a killer. But...'', his son ignored him and walked out of the room. Rami shook his head in disappointment. He got approached by Samara, and received a small kiss on the cheek. She has heard their conversation. She closed the doors and took something out of a small pocket. It was a pistol. ''I found it under Aaron's bed.''

''What the f*ck is this boy up to? How did he even get this gun?'', asked Rami. ''Stop acting like a f*cking priest, we all know it's your fault!'', Samara cried out loudly. Rami took her into his arms. He did know that is's his fault. It could be just for safety. Or he wanted to be a killer too. Or it could be for any possible reason, and Rami didn't have a clue. But he realized that this can't go on like this. He's not only destroying the ones he kills. He also destroys the ones he loves. Plus, he destroys himself. ''Alright... Alright. I'll stop. Say goodbye to Kenny Petrovic, he's gone from my life forever.''

Were it so easy...

We're gaining the control of the protagonist again, located back at Samara's house. Samara can be seen walking to the kitchen. The game doesn't tell the player what to do, as there are no markers at the minimap. Nothing can be found in the house, so players would want to walk outside but the door are locked. Rami is supposed to approach Samara and ask her for the keys. That's where the action happens, with help of a cutscene:

''Samara, where are the...'', Rami suddenly interrupted himself and took a look outside the window. The building across the street grabbed his attention. A dark-suited man with an upgraded sniper rifle aimed his gun towards Rami's family, trough the kitchen window to be exact. A shot was heard, but Rami managed to protect Samara by grabbing her and throwing himself on the floor. He told her to stay calm and stay on the floor. He took out his signature pistol and went to cover.

We're gaining control again. Our objective is to kill the attacking sniper. He can be seen running away, making his ways to the staircase. He breaks one of the apartment's window and tries to make a shot. He makes his shots quick and sharp and after shooting, he immediately runs to a random apartment of the building, making it more challenging. When we manage to shoot him once, he can be seen reloading his sniper rifle with new bullets and saying something Italian with a familiar voice...

Back to the action, we soon see four cars surrounding the house. Samara is running upstairs and we're supposed to protect the house. The unknown sniper has explosive bullets this time around. The four cars are full of black-suited men wearing ski masks. The sniper cannot be killed at the moment. When our enemies are successfully taken out, another cutscene shows up.

Upstairs, Aaron can be seen reloading the gun and looking trough the window. Rami spots the sniper staying at a difficult angle, aiming at Aaron, so he screams his name and quickly runs upstairs. To spice up the action a little, the theme songs starts playing. Rami runs up the stairs, his son aims his pistol towards the sniper. Rami kicks out the doors on his way to Aaron's room, rushes towards him and grabs him, one second after a gun shot was heard. Aaron falls on Rami, making them both collapsing to the floor. The sniper throws his mask away and reveals his face; it was nobody else but Sonny Honorato.

Back to Rami. He moves his son away and tries to sit down. His clothing is covered in blood. He quickly moves his eyes back onto his son. He moves him around and sees blood coming out of his mouth. He has a straight shot trough his neck. Rami is in rage. He hugs his son and holds him tight. The song stopped playing.

What does holding his dying son really mean to him? He failed. He tried to become rich by murder, betrayal and greed. He wanted to cut his ties with Kenny but no, he still decided to hold to him and continue his job. Now he suffers from the consequences. His own son is dying in his own arms, and the one who did this is running away, going to collect his blood money from the guys who hired him. Doesn't that scenario sound familiar?

Samara comes into the room. ''Oh my... Aaron? Rami, wha...'' Samara was speechless as she stood at the door. She was holding her throat and came a few steps closer, to see her dead son dead in his father's arms. It left her speechless. Rami tried to say something but he couldn't. He couldn't express how he felt, what he has done. Samara didn't even look at him. Rami stood up and left the house.

Mission passed.

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#576

Posted 17 November 2011 - 10:43 AM

No more feedback? confused.gif

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#577

Posted 17 November 2011 - 11:19 AM

i just got the notification of this, and read the chapter thinking "I've read this before"

I also jst realised i last read it on the sh*tter, on my phone, and i probably didnt get round to reading it all, which is probably why i didn't reply.

Feedback:
I gotta admit i wasn't expecting that. I've got to read from start to end again to refamiliarise myself with the story but, a few spelling mistakes aside, i like it. I'm not sure why the sniper would wear a mask only to remove it and reveal his identity. In my operational sense, that'd be like wearing a condom only to remove it just before you shoot. But if there's a reason for it, fair play, only that reason isn't coming off in the story (unless it's planned to be revealed later.... *muses* )

I like the way it's ended, with this cold hearted objective killer pretty much storming out. From writing a story for the last 10 years about assassin's i realised how hard it is to make "professional" killers human. How can you make people who dont care care while making them still not care? I think the answer is all about subtleness.

Keep uploading man, i wanna see how this ends!

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#578

Posted 17 November 2011 - 06:10 PM

I havent checked this topic in quite some time. I read the latest mission and I must say I enjoyed it.. very dramatic smile.gif

On another note, I don't know wether you noticed but the model that you used for Rami is almost identical to this model. I just thought I'd let you know in case you wanted to take any more screenshots since using that model for them would give you more clothing options.

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#579

Posted 17 November 2011 - 09:01 PM

Thanks for the feedback guys.

If you have the feeling that I made Rami, the most cold-hearted killer in Liberty City look human and have feelings, then I reached my goal. That's exactly what I wanted to do. I gotta say, it was hard but it's possible. I got inspired by City of Lies a lot by the way. And yes, more missions are on their way. The serious twists and revelations have just started wink.gif

I'm glad you enjoyed it, MOB. I think I have enough screenshots though. My main objective with this is to finish up writing every mission, then this case is closed.

12 missions to go.

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#580

Posted 17 November 2011 - 09:13 PM

my work inspired you?
I'm honored biggrin.gif

Yeah, i got the feel of Rami there - i don't know whether thats cos i've used him in COL2, and thus stepped into his head a little, or not, but in my eyes he's this man who's now nursing this heartache, but has to keep his head clear, hide the pain deep down, when it's buring him up.
As "professional" as Rami is in my eyes, he's still human. I've struggled with that exact balance for years. In one chapter you may get it perfect, but the next there's a weight on one end and you have to toip the sales.

Yes, you goal may be achieved - kudos there btw - but now, like a soccer team who's won the league, you have to keep that up!

Mucho looking forward to next chapters biggrin.gif

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#581

Posted 18 November 2011 - 03:57 PM

QUOTE (Mati @ Thursday, Nov 17 2011, 21:01)
Thanks for the feedback guys.

If you have the feeling that I made Rami, the most cold-hearted killer in Liberty City look human and have feelings, then I reached my goal. That's exactly what I wanted to do. I gotta say, it was hard but it's possible. I got inspired by City of Lies a lot by the way. And yes, more missions are on their way. The serious twists and revelations have just started wink.gif

I'm glad you enjoyed it, MOB. I think I have enough screenshots though. My main objective with this is to finish up writing every mission, then this case is closed.

12 missions to go.

Ok man.. I just thought I'd throw it out there in case you wanted to add any more in the future.

It's good to see that you're focussed on completing this since to me it's representative of the next generation of concept topics on here, in the same category as Pedochu's Balkan Valor, in that it has the deep storytelling elements of a writers discussion story and the visuals and features (weapons, soundtrack etc.) of a traditional concept topic. I look forward to seeing how the rest of the story pans out, best of luck to you with it man.

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#582

Posted 21 November 2011 - 07:35 PM

Thanks for the comments again. I'm planning to speed my writing up a little as I already figured how the story plays out.
Expect a new mission today or tomorrow and the whole concept to be completed before the end of the year.

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#583

Posted 25 November 2011 - 10:00 PM

I like the variety! This is great. Good job Mati. icon14.gif

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#584

Posted 25 November 2011 - 10:11 PM

Thanks. Here's just a preview of the upcoming mission. I need to gain some inspiration if I want to finish this concept before New Years Eve.

If they came to hear me beg...
Mission Giver: Kenny Petrovic
Mission Start: Petrovic Lounge
Unlocked After: Nighttime, only after ''Enslaved''.

People have power. They have power that causes pleasure and safety to themselves and guarantees dissatisfaction and fear to others. You can drop from power to fear in seconds. One wrong move and you're at the bottom of the ladder. That leads to another point. Regret. The need to apologize and the need to get things back to normal. Were it so easy. Once a tree grows crooked, it stays crooked. Everything's caused because of the pursuit for the almighty dollar. People need money. They want money.

Kenny Petrovic along with Ivan and Andrei stormed out of the back room and pushed Rami outside of the Lounge. ''Alright, listen to me, I know what happened. This disgrace by the name of Lupisella will pay when the time comes.'', said Kenny, throwing a bottle of vodka against the wall. Rami didn't listen for a second. He rather looked down upon the road as he heard police helicopters and sirens.

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#585

Posted 28 November 2011 - 06:05 PM

QUOTE (Mati @ Friday, Nov 25 2011, 22:11)
Thanks. Here's just a preview of the upcoming mission. I need to gain some inspiration if I want to finish this concept before New Years Eve.

If they came to hear me beg...
Mission Giver: Kenny Petrovic
Mission Start: Petrovic Lounge
Unlocked After: Nighttime, only after ''Enslaved''.

People have power. They have power that causes pleasure and safety to themselves and guarantees dissatisfaction and fear to others. You can drop from power to fear in seconds. One wrong move and you're at the bottom of the ladder. That leads to another point. Regret. The need to apologize and the need to get things back to normal. Were it so easy. Once a tree grows crooked, it stays crooked. Everything's caused because of the pursuit for the almighty dollar. People need money. They want money.

Kenny Petrovic along with Ivan and Andrei stormed out of the back room and pushed Rami outside of the Lounge. ''Alright, listen to me, I know what happened. This disgrace by the name of Lupisella will pay when the time comes.'', said Kenny, throwing a bottle of vodka against the wall. Rami didn't listen for a second. He rather looked down upon the road as he heard police helicopters and sirens.

For inspiration, I'll PM you a sneak preview of some of Rami's badassness in COL2.

Also look out for a second message regarding a couple of crossover questions.

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#586

Posted 02 December 2011 - 10:08 PM

Alright, thanks for the support. I'm working on three missions, I maybe will post them all at once.

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#587

Posted 03 December 2011 - 12:02 PM

QUOTE (Mati @ Friday, Dec 2 2011, 22:08)
Alright, thanks for the support. I'm working on three missions, I maybe will post them all at once.

can't wait man biggrin.gif

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#588

Posted 08 December 2011 - 03:19 PM

Damn, sorry for making promises, even if I can't keep them. Wait till tomorrow for two missions. Sorry.

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#589

Posted 10 December 2011 - 01:12 PM

QUOTE (Mati @ Thursday, Dec 8 2011, 15:19)
Damn, sorry for making promises, even if I can't keep them. Wait till tomorrow for two missions. Sorry.

Tomorrows been and gone wink.gif
Dnt worry tho - we all have lives, right? smile.gif

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#590

Posted 10 December 2011 - 01:59 PM

Yeah... ''lives''. *cough*Skyrim*cough*
The following is a two part mission like we know them. That's why this one is pretty short.

If they came to hear me beg...
Mission Giver: Kenny Petrovic
Mission Start: Petrovic Lounge
Unlocked After: Nighttime, only after ''Enslaved''.

People have power. They have power that causes pleasure and safety to themselves and guarantees dissatisfaction and fear to others. You can drop from power to fear in seconds. One wrong move and you're at the bottom of the ladder. That leads to another point. Regret. The need to apologize and the need to get things back to normal. Were it so easy. Once a tree grows crooked, it stays crooked. Everything's caused because of the pursuit for the almighty dollar. People need money. They want money.

The loading screen fades out and we see Kenny Petrovic along with Igor and Dimitri sitting at a table. ''You did well, Dimitri. Seems like Mikhail was really behind the death of my family relative. Now he paid the price. Who was the hired gun again? I think he deserves a small bonus. Maybe I'll give him a call.'', said Kenny with a calmly tone. Diminri almost jumped up and started hesitating. ''The hired gun? Forget about him, he's uh.. He'll be dead soon. He's just trash. Besides, you have Rami, right? Right?''

Speaking of the devil, Rami entered the room and sat down next to Kenny and watched the stripper for a second. '0Kenny, we have a problem.'' He explained what happened back at his house, that the Italians murdered his son and now are after him. ''The hunter's becoming the hunted.'', he said and hoped for Kenny to solve this. Instead, he continued to have a good time with Dimitri and Igor. ''Listen Rami, I don't have time for this right now. I'm trying to see what this f*ck over here has to say. You know what? Here, ten thousand bucks. Now go and have a good time or something.''

And so, Rami is supposed get out of the club. A cutscene appears, where Brian, Moe's son bumps into Rami. They haven't met each other since his father's death. He explains that a fed agency gave him a call. They know everything and Brian's about to be busted, that's why he's running to the airport. Rami still feels bad for killing Moe and for lying to Brian, yet he proposes him a lift. We gain control and have to drive Brian to the airport, avoiding police cars and FIB Buffalos. If someone sees you, you gain a 3 star wanted level. While driving, Rami receives a text message from Samara, which contains the date of Adrian's funeral. It's supposed to be in an evening in three in-game days. After he drops Brian off, a short cutscene appears where Brian gives Rami a friendly hug and runs for a private jet. ''It's better that way'', Rami said to himself and the first part of the mission is passed. For the funeral, Rami's supposed to get an appropriate suit and send an e-mail to his family's relatives on the internet.

Mission Passed.
+500$


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#591

Posted 11 December 2011 - 08:19 PM

QUOTE (Mati @ Saturday, Dec 10 2011, 13:59)
People have power. They have power that causes pleasure and safety to themselves and guarantees dissatisfaction and fear to others. You can drop from power to fear in seconds. One wrong move and you're at the bottom of the ladder. That leads to another point. Regret. The need to apologize and the need to get things back to normal. Were it so easy. Once a tree grows crooked, it stays crooked. Everything's caused because of the pursuit for the almighty dollar. People need money. They want money.

Firstly, and this is curiosity, how would these passages be implemented into the game? Narration? They're good

Secondly 'Adrian' who's that. Unless ive gone mad, wasn't his son called Aaron?

But aside from a few writing style points (where I would have said something differently) I can't see anything wrong here. Short and sweet. I like what you've hinted at - being able to EVADE the police/fib (as in avoid them).

Look fwd to part 2 smile.gif

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#592

Posted 11 December 2011 - 08:27 PM

QUOTE (Mokrie Dela @ Sunday, Dec 11 2011, 20:19)
QUOTE (Mati @ Saturday, Dec 10 2011, 13:59)
People have power. They have power that causes pleasure and safety to themselves and guarantees dissatisfaction and fear to others. You can drop from power to fear in seconds. One wrong move and you're at the bottom of the ladder. That leads to another point. Regret. The need to apologize and the need to get things back to normal. Were it so easy. Once a tree grows crooked, it stays crooked. Everything's caused because of the pursuit for the almighty dollar. People need money. They want money.

Firstly, and this is curiosity, how would these passages be implemented into the game? Narration? They're good

Secondly 'Adrian' who's that. Unless ive gone mad, wasn't his son called Aaron?

But aside from a few writing style points (where I would have said something differently) I can't see anything wrong here. Short and sweet. I like what you've hinted at - being able to EVADE the police/fib (as in avoid them).

Look fwd to part 2 smile.gif

Yeah, Narration. Thought it adds a new feeling to the game. It could be compared to the intro scenes of the cases in LA Noire.
And yeah, I meant to say Aaron bored.gif
Thanks by the way. In the next mission, the Government, FIB and ULP is going to be involved.

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#593

Posted 15 December 2011 - 03:49 PM

QUOTE (Mati @ Sunday, Dec 11 2011, 20:27)
And yeah, I meant to say Aaron bored.gif

whoops



QUOTE (Mati again - obviously)
Thanks by the way. In the next mission, the Government, FIB and ULP is going to be involved.

*salivates*

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#594

Posted 23 December 2011 - 04:36 PM

Sorry for the delay but it's not possible that I will be done with this in 2011. I'll try to write down a mission or two but don't get your hopes too high up.

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#595

Posted 23 December 2011 - 04:40 PM

So your ending this before 2012? I think that is a good idea tbh, write a few missions and finish it icon14.gif

It's an excellent topic cookie.gif

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#596

Posted 23 December 2011 - 04:42 PM

QUOTE (Tommy. @ Friday, Dec 23 2011, 16:40)
So your ending this before 2012? I think that is a good idea tbh, write a few missions and finish it icon14.gif

It's an excellent topic cookie.gif

...I just said that I won't be finished before 2012 you know tounge.gif
Thanks anyways. I still have huge plans for this.

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#597

Posted 24 December 2011 - 07:03 PM

well i hope to see the rest soon! The wait, like the wait for V's second trailer, is not that enjoyable! A testament however to the story, that people want more!

Oh, and merry christmas mati biggrin.gif

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#598

Posted 04 January 2012 - 04:53 PM

Happy Easter to you too!

The concept will be brought back to it's fullest after the 10th of this month smile.gif
Expect 1-3 missions every week by then.

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#599

Posted 04 January 2012 - 05:18 PM

QUOTE (Mati @ Wednesday, Jan 4 2012, 16:53)
Happy Easter to you too!

The concept will be brought back to it's fullest after the 10th of this month smile.gif
Expect 1-3 missions every week by then.

biggrin.gif Me likey!

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#600

Posted 13 January 2012 - 08:10 PM

QUOTE (Mokrie Dela @ Wednesday, Jan 4 2012, 17:18)
QUOTE (Mati @ Wednesday, Jan 4 2012, 16:53)
Happy Easter to you too!

The concept will be brought back to it's fullest after the 10th of this month smile.gif
Expect 1-3 missions every week by then.

biggrin.gif Me likey!

I know it's 3 days later, but the following two missions will be ready in a few hours smile.gif




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