Quantcast

Jump to content

» «
Photo

My Chain Story

2,353 replies to this topic
The Pizza Delivery Guy
  • The Pizza Delivery Guy

    I'm Offended By This Username

  • Members
  • Joined: 29 Jan 2013
  • None

#2161

Posted 07 February 2013 - 02:47 AM

QUOTE (MarijuanaMonkey @ Tuesday, Feb 5 2013, 06:23)
1. A Mexican drug dealer selling meth to a teenager highschool girl.

Niko: What the hell is this!?

Mexican: Oh abuelita! Don't tell the police, taco senor!

Niko: Why are you selling to this teenager highschool girl?

Out of nowhere the teenager highschool girl morphs into Lance Vance.

Lance: I'm not a teenager highschool girl! I'm the Lance to the Vance!

Niko: Who? I've never seen you before.

Lance: Well, we're from different universes, so of course we don't know each other.

Yusef enters the bathroom

Yusef: Niko, my n*gga, what's taking you so long...

Before Ysuef can finish, the Mexican grabs him.

Mexican: Alright, no one move or this guy is toast!

Yusef: I love toast!

Niko: Hey, I was going to let you off! Who are you?

The Mexican is actually:

1. The Mexican Mob leader
2. Roman
3. Luis Lopez
4. An Alien
5. Also Lance Vance

Corndog93
  • Corndog93

    Boss

  • Members
  • Joined: 07 Jan 2011
  • Australia

#2162

Posted 09 February 2013 - 05:36 AM

1. The Mexican Mob leader

(Niko) What's your name

(Mexican leader) Alberto Dazes

(Yusuf) And your gangs name

(Alberto) The Chupacarbras

(Niko) Chupacarbras, Dingoes, Baggettes, Mounties, Crumpets, certainly a lot of gangs from different countries in Liberty City

(Alberto) Yeah well time to die

(Niko) BAIL!!!!!!!
Niko and Yusuf run for there car and get the hell out of there and head back to City Hall to tell Bernie about the problem
(Niko) Bernie, we have to do something about this gangs from other counties problem

(Bernie) What do you want to do it.

(Niko) ....
1) "Bomb the Territory's there're based at"
2) "Send the army to get them"
3) "Me and several people I know will take care of it"
4) "Buzzard"

The_Anti-tragedy
  • The_Anti-tragedy

    In the zone

  • Members
  • Joined: 04 Dec 2011
  • Canada

#2163

Posted 09 February 2013 - 04:41 PM

QUOTE (billy james @ Saturday, Feb 9 2013, 05:36)
2) "Send the army to get them"

Niko: That's a relief.
Bernie: Yes but because the army has been robbed of their retirement fund recently and most of them quit their jobs, you guys are good enough to be in the army, looks like.
Yusuf: Sh*t.
Niko and Yusuf get in military camo outfits and are given M60's; the infamous machine gun from Vice City.
Yusuf: Where did you get these?
Bernie: I know people. You guys, go go go!
Niko and Yusuf and the rest of the army are dropped off at the Chupacarbras' drug empire on Colony Island.
Niko: We're here at the Chupacarbras.
Yusuf: What are chupacarbras?
The Chupacarbras storm outside and shoot at the military soldiers but miss Niko and Yusuf.
Dealer: It is us, the Chupacarbras! Haha!
Niko: Sh*t, it's the Chupacarbras!
Yusuf: WHAT IS A CHUPACARBRA?!
Niko ignores Yusuf's curiosity and shoots the windows of the mansion out. Yusuf runs and gets pelted with bullets and the Mexicans run out of ammo and go back inside.
Niko: Yusuf, the door is open, use that rocket launcher behind that bunker and blast them to pieces.
Yusuf: Whatever you say!
Yusuf grabs the RPG from behind one of the bunkers and shoots a rocket through the door. The mansion's walls cave in.
1. Mexicans are dropped down from and Annihilator and are wielding assault rifles.
2. The Chupacarbras were smuggling drugs with the Dingoes and Mounties. Now they come for back-up.
3. Two soldiers are killed and Bernie is forced to serve in the army.
4. Yusuf jokes about the Chupacarbras and calls them "car bras". He gets killed by another gang member.
5. Back-up for the army approaches Colony Island but Yusuf thinks it's an enemy chopper and fires another rocket at it.

Driftking120
  • Driftking120

    Madman

  • Members
  • Joined: 16 Jun 2010

#2164

Posted 10 February 2013 - 07:08 PM

4. Yusuf jokes about the Chupacarbras and calls them "car bras". He gets killed by another gang member.
"f*cking pinga!" yells a Chupacarbra as he vaults over a turned over table and shoots Yusuf in between the eyes.
"f*ck! Yusuf! No!!" yells Niko.
"You Bitch!!" yells Niko as he charges towards the Chupacarbra with his M60, spraying him with bullets until he drops dead.
*While Niko is kicking the corpse of the Chupacarbra that killed Yusuf, another Chupacarbra quietly sneaks up behind Niko with a Shotgun, shooting him in the back, executing him Scarface style.*
*Niko and Yusuf respawn outside the hospital.*
What happens next?
1. Little Jacob and Badman are having a shootout with the cops right in front of them.
2. Niko and Yusuf witness the Chupacabras forcing Jenny Acorn at gunpoint into the back of a Securicar. Niko and Yusuf decide to quietly follow inside a Burrito.
3. Little Jacob texts them to inform them about someone selling "the good stuff", it is the Chupacabras.
4. Niko and Yusuf decide to spend the night at Niko's Middle Park East safehouse, but arrive to find out the Chupacabras have taken over the building. All of Niko's guns and his cellphone are inside, Yusuf left his cellphone and his guns at his place too.

The_Anti-tragedy
  • The_Anti-tragedy

    In the zone

  • Members
  • Joined: 04 Dec 2011
  • Canada

#2165

Posted 11 February 2013 - 01:40 AM

QUOTE (Driftking120 @ Sunday, Feb 10 2013, 19:08)
3. Little Jacob texts them to inform them about someone selling "the good stuff", it is the Chupacabras.

Niko texts back to Little Jacob saying "Don't buy their sh*t, I think it makes you go insane." Little Jacob texts Niko back saying "No worry me breda, I and I just watchin with Badman over around teh corner on Frankfort."
Niko: That's a relief.
Niko drives to Frankfort Ave. but wonders which street Little Jacob and Badman are. He takes Yusuf with him.
Yusuf: What are they selling?
Niko: We don't know yet, we just have to kill them, take the sh*t and stash it.
They find Jacob and Badman hiding next to an alleyway where a Chupacabra is making a deal.
LJ: Meh boy Niko, glad you made it.
Niko: Okay, let's kill them.
Niko, LJ, Badman, and Yusuf open fire on the Chupacabra dealer and the buyer. The Chupacabra apparently has an M60 and kills Badman in one shot. Niko and Jacob hide behind boxes. Yusuf hides behind a crate of the "stuff" they're selling.
LJ: What's the plan?
Niko: When he reloads his gun and destroys our cover, we sneak behind crates and boxes and then melee him like in Uncharted.
Niko and Jacob's cover is shot down by the M60 and they hide behind two crates next to Yusuf. The crates are destroyed repeatedly until Jacob is nearly in front of the dealer. Jacob's cover is destroyed and the "stuff" falls out. He takes some stuff and throws it into the dealer's face.
Dealer: You idiot! You know what this sh*t could do to a person?
Niko: You might as well speak now before the effects settle in.
Dealer: The Dingoes...
Yusuf: What about the Dingoes?
Dealer: The Dingoes were bed mates with the Mounties, and they threw a load of ingredients together and made a new drug. They found out what the side effects were, so they didn't want to sell it and get killed for it, so they gave it to I think the Triads. Then the Triads were pissing people off so they gave it to us, the Chupacabras. Sh*t, the effects were going insane and killing everything in sight.
Niko kills the dealer and takes the "stuff". They put it in the back of a gang car with the rest and they drive to the harbor to dump the drugs into the water.
1. They dump the drugs into the water but it's annual Drinking the River day.
2. The "stuff" falls out of the car onto the streets and everyone takes some.
3. The Chupacabras come for revenge and try to ram Niko's car off the road.
4. Before exiting the alleyway, Niko sees Roman in a half deflated pig costume for two.

The Pizza Delivery Guy
  • The Pizza Delivery Guy

    I'm Offended By This Username

  • Members
  • Joined: 29 Jan 2013
  • None

#2166

Posted 12 February 2013 - 06:11 AM

QUOTE (The_Anti-tragedy @ Sunday, Feb 10 2013, 18:40)
3. The Chupacabras come for revenge and try to ram Niko's car off the road.

The Cupacabra's car comes speeding toward the crew.

Niko: sh*t, these guys are crazy!

They get into a climactic chase. The Chupacabras take every opportunity possible to try and knock the crew's car off the road. It isn't until the two vehicles hit a glitched up part of the road and they go flying. The two vehicles flip end over end for what seems like forever. In the aftermath, the Chupacabra group are all dead and everyone in Niko's crew survived. Go figure.

Niko: Man, these drugs must have some sort of tracking device in them or something.

Jacob: Niko, ma mon, ya need to focus on the dope itself. What is so significant about the drug?

Niko: Well... it's

1. Green Goo from San Andreas
2. A look-alike to crack
3. Has a device jutting out of it that says: "Mohammad's Drivers and Devices"
4. ABOUT TO BLOW UP OH SH*T!!!!!!!

The_Anti-tragedy
  • The_Anti-tragedy

    In the zone

  • Members
  • Joined: 04 Dec 2011
  • Canada

#2167

Posted 12 February 2013 - 10:32 PM Edited by The_Anti-tragedy, 12 February 2013 - 10:34 PM.

QUOTE (The Pizza Delivery Guy @ Tuesday, Feb 12 2013, 06:11)
4. ABOUT TO BLOW UP OH SH*T!!!!!!!

Niko, Jacob, and Yusuf jump out of the car and the drug explodes.
Yusuf: What the f*ck is in that drug?
Niko: It must be cocaine, meth, crack, cannabis, heroin, maybe bath salts...
Jacob: Iya, we should analyze it, you know?
Niko goes to the blown up car and takes a pile of ashes and puts it in a bag. They go to a scientist Dr. Hugh Jass. He analyzes it.
Jass: Oh my God, this is a mixture of every drug known to man, also tissue paper.
Yusuf: Tissue paper?
Jass: And pee; with drugs in it.
Niko: What should we do about it, doctor?
Jass: Get rid of the gang that came up with this concoction and send them to custody.
Niko: The gang has a mother?
Jass: Prison.
1. Yusuf calls the NOoSE team to dispose of the drugs and eliminate the Dingoes and Mounties.
2. Niko, Little Jacob, and Yusuf go to the Dingoes' hideout where they're having a meeting with the Mounties.
3. The Baguettes barge the wall down and try to eliminate Niko and Yusuf with SMG's.
4. A new gang, the Korean "이 글을 읽을 수's" come inside the room and want to work with Niko against the other gangs.

WildBrick142
  • WildBrick142

    GTAV Forum Leader

  • Leone Family Mafia
  • Joined: 18 Dec 2012
  • Ireland
  • Contribution Award [GTA V]

#2168

Posted 15 February 2013 - 11:35 PM

QUOTE (The_Anti-tragedy @ Tuesday, Feb 12 2013, 22:32)
4. A new gang, the Korean "이 글을 읽을 수's" come inside the room and want to work with Niko against the other gangs.

To start off, I got GTA IV for my PC (No graphics card and it works perfectly tounge.gif ) and I got trainer as well and decided to add pictures to the story so it look kinda looks less confusing. Ignore the radar on pics. I didnt switch it off.


이 글을 읽을 수 Leader: Are you Niko Bellic?
Niko: Yes.
이 글을 읽을 수 Leader: Our gang wants to team up with you and help you out
Niko without thinking...
Niko: No. I was in a team with many people and gangs and 3/4 betrayed me.
Yusuf: Niko, do you know what you're doing?
Niko: Yes.
이 글을 읽을 수 Leader: Well, we tried being nice and now we're leaving.
Jacob:Its getting late, I should go too. I will try to find out more about Dingoes and Mounties.
Jacob leaves and then he screams
Jacob: BUMBACLOT!!!! NIIIIIIIIIKKKOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Niko looks out and sees 이 글을 읽을 수 Leader kidnap Jacob.
Niko: Its my fault. I have put everyone at risk.
Yusuf: You cant blame yourself nig-
Niko: Can you be serious for the first time?!
Yusuf: Sorry.
Niko walks out of the building and calls a taxi.
Taxi arrives.
Niko gets in taxi.
Luis: Where do you want to go?
Niko: Luis? Well, to the Airport
Luis: Alright then.
Niko: Why you are a Taxi Driver?
Luis: Damn city closed down the clubs again. I need money.
They arrive at airport.
user posted image
Niko: Thanks, have a tip.
Niko gives luis $150 tip and takes out his bag out of the trunk.
Niko: Well its time to go.
Niko goes through the airport and then get on a bus that takes him to plane.
About to enter the plane, he sees a epic green sports car.
user posted image
The car came up closer and he sees Roman in it.
Niko: Roman?
user posted image
Roman: Niko! My cousin! I have wonderful news! Come on get in!
Niko: How did you get this car?
Roman: Well thats the part of the news.
Niko: What News?
Roman: Something about Hove Beach. I'll tell you when we're there.
user posted image
10 MINUTES LATER
Niko: We're on Hove Beach now. Whats the news?
Roman: I had my cab depot repaired.
Niko: So what? You got one already.
Roman: I know but more depots = more money!
Niko: You ai'nt afraid they burn it down again?
Roman: Its fireproof!
Niko: How did you get so much money?
Roman: Eeh... I tel you later...
They arrive at the cab depot.
1.Roman asks Niko if he wants to work in the Hove Beach depot.
2.Roman asks Niko what he was doing and Niko says that Jacob got kidnapped and Roman says he'd like to help.
3.Roman asks Niko if he wants to go bowling.
4.Roman asks Niko why he wanted to leave town.
5.Niko aks Roman how did he get so much money.

Corndog93
  • Corndog93

    Boss

  • Members
  • Joined: 07 Jan 2011
  • Australia

#2169

Posted 16 February 2013 - 12:39 AM

No pictures, it ruins it

Carbonox
  • Carbonox

    Too weird to live but much too rare to die

  • Members
  • Joined: 14 Feb 2011
  • Finland

#2170

Posted 16 February 2013 - 01:05 AM Edited by Carbonox, 16 February 2013 - 10:51 AM.

1.Roman asks Niko if he wants to work in the Hove Beach depot.

Roman: Cousin, now that we're back where we started, I'd really like having you back as one of my drivers! The pay is great, I can guarantee that! And at the end of a workday, we can go and enjoy the big, round American titties!
Niko: You call $11 a great pay?! Listen up, you fat f*ck, when I first arrived in this city, all I could do was drive your sh*tty f*cking cabs all over the f*cking place and get basically nothing for it! I'M DONE BEING YOUR BITCH! I DON'T WANT TO WORK FOR YOU EVER AGAIN!!!!

Roman looks at Niko's eyes at disbelief for a few seconds... and then starts crying hopelessly like a little baby. Niko feels awkward and tries to ignore Roman, but after about half a minute of crying in a louder and louder volume, he starts feeling bad about it.

Niko: Roman?
Roman: *blowing on a tissue paper* Y-yes, cousin?
Niko: Maybe I could become your driver...
Roman: That's lovely, cousin! *instantly stops crying and slaps Niko in the back in a friendly manner, suddenly regaining all of his happiness*

They head to Roman's office, where Roman gets a call from a customer and asks Niko to retrieve them from Outlook Park. Niko is quite bitter about Roman fooling him to get back to his job as a cab driver, but nevertheless heads out and picks up one of Roman's cabs, then heads towards the park. On the way, he gets a call from Roman.

Niko: Yeah, what now?
Roman: Nothing... just reminding you that since you're so kind-hearted, I'll give you a pay rise. From now on, every fare you get is worth $12. I know, you're probably thinking just how generous your cousin is, but don't get too excited, I have to save a lot of money for this weekend's poker night.
Niko: Whatever, cousin... *hangs up frustrated*

At the park, Niko ends up picking up...

1: Brucie and two ho's, who begin to fight on who gets to sit next to Brucie on the backseat.
2: Mohammed, who has been fired by Roman (not hired, sorry about typo) and is now secretly plotting to kill Niko in revenge...
3: Luis, who is first nowhere to be seen, but then suddenly parachutes to the area and enters the cab in style.
4: Bulgarin, who doesn't recognize Niko and asks to drive to Roman's cab depot to "thank the owner for his great service" although his true goal is kidnapping Roman to flush Niko out of his safety.
5: A completely random pedestrian who has no interesting backstory or any affiliations with the local criminals and only wants to get from place A to place B quickly.

Fisciletti
  • Fisciletti

    Ghetto Star

  • Members
  • Joined: 20 Aug 2012
  • Brazil

#2171

Posted 17 February 2013 - 01:29 AM

QUOTE (Carbonox @ Friday, Feb 15 2013, 22:05)
5: A completely random pedestrian who has no interesting backstory or any affiliations with the local criminals and only wants to get from place A to place B quickly.

Pedestrian: Come on, Take me to Mohanet.
Niko: What? It's just a few meters from here.
Pedestrian: Don't question me, you dumb yokel.
Niko: Screw you!

Niko looks at the pedestrian.

Who is the pedestrian?
  1. Vlad.
  2. Dimitri Rascalov.
  3. Ray Bulgarin.
  4. Johnny Klebitz.
  5. Hossan.

WildBrick142
  • WildBrick142

    GTAV Forum Leader

  • Leone Family Mafia
  • Joined: 18 Dec 2012
  • Ireland
  • Contribution Award [GTA V]

#2172

Posted 17 February 2013 - 01:57 AM

QUOTE (billy james @ Saturday, Feb 16 2013, 00:39)
No pictures, it ruins it

QUOTE (Little Jacob)
True dat.



QUOTE (Fisciletti @ Sunday, Feb 17 2013, 01:29)
•Johnny Klebitz.

Niko: Who the f*ck are you anyway?
Johny: I am Johny Klebitz from The Lost MC
Niko: You're not Russian.
Johny: I know but I'm learning it so I can expand The Lost MC (well, what was left of it) to Russia and be criminal king.
Niko: Yeah... I see...
Johny: Now take me to Mohanet you Slavic motherf*cker before...

1. ...I will run you over with my bike.
2. ...I will rape you!
3. ...I will shoot your head.
4. ...I will go bowling with Roman.

Corndog93
  • Corndog93

    Boss

  • Members
  • Joined: 07 Jan 2011
  • Australia

#2173

Posted 17 February 2013 - 02:02 AM Edited by billy james, 17 February 2013 - 02:11 AM.

Wildbrick Niko already knows who Johnny is

3. ...I will shoot your head.

(Niko) Johnny why are we fighting we already know each other

(Johnny) Yeah your right about that
Niko gets a call from Bernie
(Niko) Mayor Bernie, what do you need

(Bernie) Just come quick I'm being attacked by this Koren gang looking for you

(Niko) Stay right there I'm on my way, is Yusuf there

(Bernie) No

(Niko) Good I'll be right there
Niko hangs up
(Niko) Johnny your helping me save my boss
They rush to City Hall to save Bernie and when he get there they see that there is a lot of Koren dudes there so they decide to...
What do they do???
1) Stealths there way in
2) Goes in guns blazing
3) Calls the Lost MC to help
4) Remember the under ground tunnel that goes past City Hall and goes that way

WildBrick142
  • WildBrick142

    GTAV Forum Leader

  • Leone Family Mafia
  • Joined: 18 Dec 2012
  • Ireland
  • Contribution Award [GTA V]

#2174

Posted 17 February 2013 - 02:03 AM Edited by WildBrick142, 17 February 2013 - 02:09 AM.

Nevermind

Corndog93
  • Corndog93

    Boss

  • Members
  • Joined: 07 Jan 2011
  • Australia

#2175

Posted 17 February 2013 - 02:10 AM

Not important

WildBrick142
  • WildBrick142

    GTAV Forum Leader

  • Leone Family Mafia
  • Joined: 18 Dec 2012
  • Ireland
  • Contribution Award [GTA V]

#2176

Posted 17 February 2013 - 02:12 AM Edited by WildBrick142, 17 February 2013 - 02:14 AM.

Mod can you delete this post (the ones posted by me that say nevermind)? Its not needed here.

Corndog93
  • Corndog93

    Boss

  • Members
  • Joined: 07 Jan 2011
  • Australia

#2177

Posted 17 February 2013 - 02:18 AM

QUOTE (WildBrick142 @ Sunday, Feb 17 2013, 13:12)
Mod can you delete this post (the ones posted by me that say nevermind)? Its not needed here.

And the one that says not important

WildBrick142
  • WildBrick142

    GTAV Forum Leader

  • Leone Family Mafia
  • Joined: 18 Dec 2012
  • Ireland
  • Contribution Award [GTA V]

#2178

Posted 17 February 2013 - 02:33 AM

QUOTE (billy james @ Sunday, Feb 17 2013, 02:02)
2) Goes in guns blazing

Johnny:
Ok then. But then you will drive me to Mohanet for free.
Niko: *whispers to himself* Alright you freeloading scumbag.
Niko and Johnny arrive at City Hall. Johnny came up with a plan but Niko pulled out a M4 and went in guns blazing.
Niko: DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! YOU HAVE ENOUGH YOU S*IT?! YOU'RE FU*KING WITH THE WRONG PERSON MY FRIEND!!!
Johnny: And people call me a psychopath...
Niko goes in to mayors office with all Koreans dead.
Niko: Bernie! Its safe now! Bernie?
Niko sees a letter and it reads:
이 글을 읽을 수 Leader: I have kidnapped you gay friend. If you want him and the smoke addict back bring $1.000.000 to Mr. Fuk's Rice Box in Alderney City.
Niko: He's not gay. He's different...
Niko jumped into Roman's Cavalcade Taxi.
Johnny: So can you drive me to Mohanet? I'm gonna be late for my Russian Launguage class.
Niko: Damnit.
Niko dropped off Johnny in Mohanet and Niko started driving to Alderney.
Niko: *calls Yusuf*
Niko: C'mon! Answer!
이 글을 읽을 수 Leader:*answers* Ah, Niko. When I wrote that letter I didnt kidnap your golden maniac yet. I have to say, I like gold.
Yusuf: NIGGA!
이 글을 읽을 수 Leader: Shut up!
이 글을 읽을 수 Leader: I hope you're on the way with $3.000.000
Niko: I thought it was $1.000.000?
이 글을 읽을 수 Leader: $1.000.000 for one person. I have three. you have 24 hours. *Hangs up phone*
Niko: S*it....

*Game* Make Your Decision...
1. Go to Mr Fuk's Rice Box and destroy the sh*t up and kill 이 글을 읽을 수 Leader.
2. Collect $3.000.000 and save friends.

The_Anti-tragedy
  • The_Anti-tragedy

    In the zone

  • Members
  • Joined: 04 Dec 2011
  • Canada

#2179

Posted 18 February 2013 - 04:07 AM

QUOTE (WildBrick142 @ Sunday, Feb 17 2013, 02:33)
1. Go to Mr Fuk's Rice Box and destroy the sh*t up and kill 이 글을 읽을 수 Leader.

Niko goes to his Northwood safehouse where he puts on a black bandanna. Niko goes to the front door of Mr. Fuk's Rice Box where he gets stripped of all his weapons but manages to sneak a suppressed pistol in his hammer-space bandanna.
Host: You have $3,000,000 right, Mr. Bellic?
Niko: I was thinking, perhaps you can make an exception for the money and we just cut to the chase.
Host: What you doing?
Niko aims the pistol at the host and shoots him. He finds a belt of grenades next to him.
Niko: I don't think anyone heard me. Good thing I have this silencer on the pistol.
Niko goes inside the interior of the restaurant where he finds the 이 글을 읽을 수 Leader on the second floor up the stairs with three men surrounding him.
이 글을 읽을 수 Leader: Where is your money?
Niko: Don't worry. I have it. It's in my car. I'll just go get it...
Niko pistol whips the leader unconscious but gets five MP10's pointed to his head, by the three around the leader, and the two on opposite sides of the second floor.
Niko: Oops. Slipped.
Niko kicks two goons in the balls, throws a grenade from his belt at the one guard on his left and books it for the manager's office.
Niko: Where are my friends! There's no sh*tting me!
Manager: Your friends are going to be dead. There are goons in the kitchen with assault rifles pointed to their heads.
Niko: F*ck you!
1. Niko kills the manager and shoots the remaining Koreans but loses all his body armour.
2. Niko spares the manager and throws another grenade at the Koreans and enters the kitchen with full health and half armour.
3. Niko kills the manager, throws his body onto the floor where a Korean slips on it, dies, and Niko takes his SMG.
4. Niko spares the manager, uses his body as a shield outside the office and sprints to the kitchen.
5. Niko does a lap dance in front of the manager to get an extra $500.

Corndog93
  • Corndog93

    Boss

  • Members
  • Joined: 07 Jan 2011
  • Australia

#2180

Posted 19 February 2013 - 02:46 AM Edited by billy james, 19 February 2013 - 11:43 AM.

2. Niko spares the manager and throws another grenade at the Koreans and enters the kitchen with full health and half armour.

Niko sees 3 Dudes In there and kills them and races to the back door and sees the 이 글을 읽을 수 Leader shoving Bernie into a sentinel so Niko goes down the ladder and runs after the sentinel but it drives off so Niko run after it and a biker on a Hexar ride past but Niko kills the biker and takes the hexor and rides after the sentinel, the chase leading all the way on to the Plummers Skyway and the chase lead off the skyway into Algongiun.

(Niko) F*cking crash already

At that moment the sentinel loses traction on its tires and spins out and goes towards the middle park toilets and crashes on the Fountain (much like mission meltdown) And heads into the toilets with Bernie, Niko get off the bike and goes after them

(이 글을 읽을 수 Leader) You'll never find me I'm in one Toilet and he's in another, it's time too play Toilet roulette

(Niko) I can't wait to kill you
Niko with his SMG out aim at one door and kicks it in
BAM!! Goes one door... nothing
BAM!! Another door ... Nothing
BAM!! Another door... Bernie's in there
(Niko) Bernie!!! I found you

(Bernie) Oh Niko my sav... Look out
Just at that moment Bernie grabs Nikos SMG and push Niko out the way and kills the 이 글을 읽을 수 Leader
(Niko) Wow didn't think you had it in you

(Bernie) I was in the army Niko, I always had it in me
They get the hell out of there and part ways
Where does Niko go???
1) Home
2) City Hall
3) Burger Shot
4) Mr Fuk rice box to burn it down on order of Bernie

TheUnholy
  • TheUnholy

    Brain Stew

  • Members
  • Joined: 17 Jan 2012
  • None

#2181

Posted 19 February 2013 - 06:55 PM

QUOTE (billy james @ Tuesday, Feb 19 2013, 02:46)
4) Mr Fuk rice box to burn it down on order of Bernie

Bernie: Take the gasoline at the back of my limo and burn that f*cking Korean pussy restaurant in the flames of hell!
Niko: Wow, Bernie. You sound really pissed. However I think people would describe as racist.
Bernie: I don't care, Nikolai. Also I'm paying you for cleaning my sh*tty ass. You go and burn the place down and that's all.
Niko: Sure, man but if you stuck your head in sh*t AGAIN, don't seek my help.


Night 03:00

Mr.Fux's rice box is closed, the doors are in the iron shutters of it. Niko makes his way to back of the restaurant, starts to draw a circuit of gasoline around the restaurant. After drawing a few circuits, Niko draws a line track of gasoline, later throws the lighter Roman presented him in his birthday to the gasoline track, causing a huge fire in Mr.Fux's Rice Box.

Niko: Well, it's done I guess.

Niko hops in a Manana, quickly drives off the area. Later the tired Niko goes to home and lays in his bed and falls asleep when watching America's Next Top Hooker.

In the morning, after having his breakfast, Niko goes to City Hall to see Bernie but he encounters with a huge, angry audience, probably protesting the high taxes.

Niko: What's happening now? Are you protesting again? What now, the high taxes again?
Protestor: No! More important situation. Someone burned down the Korean restaurant Mr.Fux's Rice Box, that's sin.
Niko: So? You are not Korean.
Protestor: Well, you ignorant dick. Don't you know this is America, the country of freedoms? We must embrace all races, religions, doctrines and all of the same and different things.
Protestor 2: Yeah, also they were making the most awesome rice down there.
Protestor: Right. Also the rice of them. Now what are you saying, ignorant dick?
Niko: Uhh... I gotta go and see the mayor.
Protestor: Yeah, right. Go ahead, you racist, imperialist, fascist piece of sh*t. Just lick the bitch ass of your mayor.

Niko quickly runs the stairs, knocks Bernie's office's door. Bernie opens the door suspiciously.

Bernie: Oh Niko. Thanks to God, that's you.
Niko: You will never listen to me, will you? I remember I told you arson of a restaurant obviosuly belonging to a race would be described as a racist act.
Bernie: Yeah, you right. I should have listened you, Niko. [gets a flamethrower under his desk] Now I want you to burn these hippie protestors now.
Niko: [picks and throws away the flamethrower and it falls in the middle of protestors] Oh my God! Are you still talking about burning and shooting? Now I'm calling Brucie, he will get us off the city... until things get calm.

Outside

Protestor: Look everybody. There's a flame gun. Cover me when I burn this racist government's sh*t up.

Protestor starts to puff burns through the building and somehow stone walls of the City Hall starts to burn off.

Bernie: Oh my God! They're burning down the building. We're gonna be roasted potatos for dinner.
Niko: All thanks to you, Bernie. We just must pray that Brucie rushes out.

By the time, sound of a chopper heard throughout the City Hall.

Niko: Ohh, we're safe now. Move your ass, Bernie. We gotta get the copter quickly.
Bernie: Well, I'll take these bras. And and... [recognizes a vibrator] This vibrator. I must take it too, I would get bored during the trip.
Niko: You're not taking anything. You're lifting the f*cking butt of yours otherwise I'll give you to the angry hippies outside.
Bernie: Oh Jesus. A'right, I'm coming.

Bernie sticks up the vibrator up his ass without seeing to Niko.

Bernie: Oh man, that vibrates.

Niko and Bernie meet with Brucie who's waiting them at the roof.

Brucie: [slouches a rope ladder] NB, man. Stick up to this ladder and climb down the board, man.
Bernie: Oh, man. That's too risky, I can't do that.
Niko: Hop on my back. I will carry you to board.

Niko takes Bernie on his back and feels a vibration

Niko: Hey! Why the hell are you vibrating?
Bernie: Nothing, nothing. Just scared.

Bernie takes off the vibrator in his ass, throws it away.

Protestor: Look, they're getting away.
Protestor 2: What are we gonna do? We can't let them go away before giving us Korean rice and Mr.Fux's Rice Box.
Protestor 3: Don't worry, guys. I have something to show these racist piece of sh*ts. [produces a RPG from his body]

Green Day's American Idiot starts to play background.

Protestor 3 fires a rocket and rocket successfully shoots down the copter.

BRAAAM!

Brucie: What the f*ck!?
Bernie: WE'RE GONNA DIE! WE'RE GONNA DIE!
Niko: Shut up, Bernie.

Niko hangs on the brackets and looks outside.

Niko: I guess, that was of crazy protestors.

What happens next?

1. Brucie loses the control and they fall down the ocean. Later Niko, Brucie and Bernie get captured by Poseidon worshipping sea people who have captured Niko during the previous adventures.
2. Protestors begin following the guys on jetpacks from San Andreas (with American Idiot playing background).
3. Brucie, who has lost the control, tosses off a big rice monster that flushes out of the ocean.
4. Niko decides to sacrifice himself, gets a parachute and planes in the middle of the protestors (with CCCP's Soviet Union playing background).

The_Anti-tragedy
  • The_Anti-tragedy

    In the zone

  • Members
  • Joined: 04 Dec 2011
  • Canada

#2182

Posted 19 February 2013 - 07:57 PM

QUOTE (MarijuanaMonkey @ Tuesday, Feb 19 2013, 18:55)
4. Niko decides to sacrifice himself, gets a parachute and planes in the middle of the protestors (with CCCP's Soviet Union playing background).

Bernie and Brucie land onto the road next to City Hall by parachuting out of the burning helicopter.
Bernie: What is that music?
Niko lands in the middle of all the hipsters.
Protester: Hey, let's beat this racist douche up!
Protester 2: Take this, society!
Niko gets beaten up by all the protesters. Niko kicks the hipster with the flame thrower.
Niko: Roadhouse.
Niko takes the flame thrower and roasts half of the protesters.
Protester: O-M-G, I need to text Stacey about this. "getting brned by btchee racist @$$ holy sht".
Everyone sends text messages to their friends while being burned by Niko's throbbing weapon. Niko missed a hipster protester that took one of Yusuf's Uzis from inside City Hall which is now in flames.
Protester 3: I am going to look so cool in my neighborhood after killing this racist bastard.
Niko: Yes, call me racist for having to burn a restaurant after shooting it up instead of paying a $3,000,000 ransom!
Protester 3: F*ck you man, you think you can reason with a cool kid like moi?
Niko: You're one of those people I see. If I gave them the money, the gang would just betray me anyway. Where's the song "Misfit" when you need it?
Protester: You listen to music from the 1980's? Do you have a retarded stupid mental insane disorder? I listen to "dubstep". It's beasting epic.
Niko: Did you just dis Vice City FM?
Niko shoots fire at the last protester. And then throws molotov cocktails at him until he turns to ashes.
1. Niko goes to the street to find Bernie and Brucie dead. cry.gif
2. The hipster's ashes come to life for no reason. dontgetit.gif
3. Bernie and Brucie had sex and gave birth to "Bercie". notify.gif
4. Niko dances to Misfit by Curiosity Killed the Cat to celebrate. happy.gif

Carbonox
  • Carbonox

    Too weird to live but much too rare to die

  • Members
  • Joined: 14 Feb 2011
  • Finland

#2183

Posted 19 February 2013 - 08:20 PM Edited by Carbonox, 19 February 2013 - 08:22 PM.

1. Niko goes to the street to find Bernie and Brucie dead. cry.gif

As Niko goes towards the chopper's location, he finds Bernie and Brucie lying lifeless on the ground, with a man standing next to them with a pistol in hand. Both have been shot in the head.

Niko: You @$$hole! How dare you kill my friends?!
Man: It was easy! Those punks deserve to die!
Niko (thinking): This must be one of those anti-racist extermists... Now I'm gonna pwn him!
Niko: Do you realize you just killed a homosexual?
Man: *laughs* No, I realize I killed two! And it doesn't matter anyway because God hates fags!
Niko: Oh my god, you're...
Man: Fred Phelps from the Westboro Baptist Church! And you will die next because God also hates Serbians and their fat cousins!
Niko: Only I have the right to call Roman fat!
Phelps: Haha! No, dear Niko Bellic, that's not true! God hates people who claim to have some sorts of rights!

Phelps fires his gun at Niko, but everything goes on slow motion and Niko dodges the bullet, then runs up to Phelps and uppercuts him in the jaw. Phelps goes flying into the ground while Niko grabs his pistol while it's in mid-air, then laughs at him and is about to finish him off when...

1: Niko is suddenly struck by lightning. Phelps now laughs and says that God did it, and runs away.
2: Phelps grabs another gun from his belt and shoots at Niko.
3: Bernie and Brucie, who recently respawned in the hospital, arrive in the area with the entire Westboro Baptist Church after them, trying to lynch them both.
4: Niko asks Phelps for his last words, and Phelps begins listing things that God hates, which takes so long that Niko falls asleep.
5: Roman suddenly calls Niko, asking to go play darts.

Driftking120
  • Driftking120

    Madman

  • Members
  • Joined: 16 Jun 2010

#2184

Posted 19 February 2013 - 10:14 PM

3: Bernie and Brucie, who recently respawned in the hospital, arrive in the area with the entire Westboro Baptist Church after them, trying to lynch them both.
"Hey Niko! We could use a little help here!" Brucie yells as he is headed towards Niko.
"You again! You stupid f*ck I'll..." Phelps says before Niko pistol whips him on the back of the head.
*While Phelps is down, Niko repeatedly kicks Phelps balls in. At that moment, Niko gets shot in the shoulder by a priest, Niko in reply, pulls out an M60 out of his ass.*
"Run motherf*cker! Run!" Niko yells while massacring everyone from the Westboro Baptist Church.
*Niko kills everyone and throws an unconscious Phelps in the trunk of his Manana, Bernie and Brucie then jump in the back of the Manana.*
*Niko drives to Plummers Skyway and pulls off to the side. Niko opens the trunk and drags a conscious Phelps out by his throat, he then slips a noose around his neck and ties the other side to the bridge's railing. Brucie hands Niko a can of gasoline, Niko soaks Phelps in gasoline and lights him on fire. Phelps, in process of trying to put himself out, falls over the side of the bridge and hangs himself.*
"I think that's the last we'll see of him" says Niko with a content smile.
"Don't you think that was a little bit of overkill?" asks Bernie.
"No." Niko and Brucie reply simultaneously.
What happens next?
1. The rope Phelp's is hanging from is burnt through and his body, still on fire, falls on top of a gas line, causing it to explode and causing a chain reaction making everything flammable around it explode destroying most of the Industrial area below Plummers Skyway.
2. A Vigero behind them swerves, blocking the road behind them. The occupants get out, one of them has a minigun, they open fire.

The_Anti-tragedy
  • The_Anti-tragedy

    In the zone

  • Members
  • Joined: 04 Dec 2011
  • Canada

#2185

Posted 19 February 2013 - 11:50 PM

QUOTE (Driftking120 @ Tuesday, Feb 19 2013, 22:14)
1. The rope Phelp's is hanging from is burnt through and his body, still on fire, falls on top of a gas line, causing it to explode and causing a chain reaction making everything flammable around it explode destroying most of the Industrial area below Plummers Skyway.

Brucie: Holy sh*t! That was what you must've seen in the Red Army, right Niko?
Niko: You could say that.
Brucie: Now what, do we burn down Anne Frank's house?
Niko: confused.gif I'm siding with Bernie, that's overkill.
Niko, Bernie, and Brucie get back into the Manana and speed away from the aftermath of Acter Industrial Park's explosion. They drive off of the next off-ramp and take the Hickey Bridge to Algonquin where a Vigero behind them swerves, blocking the road behind them. The occupants get out, one of them has a minigun. The Manana quickly tries to go somewhere else, but the occupant with the minigun opens fire.
Niko: Are you guys from the church?
Priest: Frank, why are you firing that minigun? You're a pacifist!
Frank: Sorry man. I have the wrong one.
Frank stores the minigun into the trunk and comes out with another minigun. He fires chocolate mocha bars at Niko, Bernie, and Brucie.
Bernie: I love mocha!
Brucie: Shouldn't the bullets be melting?
Frank: These are artificial!
Niko: Why is there so much thought put into this scene?
The three characters get back into the Manana and go to Middle Park. They crash the car into a bathroom door and the car won't start.
Unknown: Hey, those are the guys that stole our car!
Three Mexican Chupacabra members with assault rifles come out of the bathroom stalls.
Niko: This is your car?
Brucie: Let's run!
The three steal a Stretch and the Chupacabras steal a Patriot and give chase to them. Brucie drives down Frankfort Ave. on the left of Middle Park while Niko uses a sniper rifle to see a construction roadblock up ahead.
1. The Stretch drives off of a ramp and lands on its roof. The Patriot is about to ram into their car.
2. They hear sirens. Two Police Cruisers surround the two cars while the chorus of Renegade by Styx plays in the background.
3. There is a crime scene up ahead with Police Cruisers occupying a half of the road.
4. While Brucie drives and Niko looks, Bernie tries to tan and the sun reflects off his chest and blinds the Patriot's driver.
5. They T-bone a car from the other road and Bernie sh*ts himself, his pants are down, and it lands on Niko's face.

Carbonox
  • Carbonox

    Too weird to live but much too rare to die

  • Members
  • Joined: 14 Feb 2011
  • Finland

#2186

Posted 20 February 2013 - 12:18 AM

3. There is a crime scene up ahead with Police Cruisers occupying a half of the road.

Niko: Now what's up with that?! Go for the gap, Brucie!
Officer (on megaphone): Hey you! Stop where you are, we're trying to investigate a murder here!
Brucie: You try stopping a f*cking limo at a speed like this!

With the inferior handling of the Stretch, Brucie is unable to avoid the cop cars and slams into one of them, with the pursuing Patriot rear ending the Stretch. Fortunately, this gets the limo back up and running, while the Patriot is slowed down. Some of the cops from the crime scene get into an undamaged cruiser to further give chase.

Niko: Brucie, turn to a side road already! You're gonna crash into that construction site!
Brucie: Hold on tight, baby...

As they creep closer, they notice a Packer (with its ramp fully down) parked conveniently just in front of the construction site.

Niko: NOOOOO!!! You're gonna kill us!!!
Bernie: I'm vibrating with fear again! Save me, Niko! *holds onto him tightly*
Niko: Get off me, you... you FAG!

As Brucie hits the Packer's ramp and flies over all the construction equipment, everything goes on slow motion again. Unfortunately, the Stretch hits the last barricade on the other side of the construction site on landing, and the limo flips over. The Chupacabras' Patriot then jumps off the ramp as well and lands directly on top of the upside-down Stretch, coming to a dead stop. And to sum it up, the pursuing police cruiser jumps off the ramp as well, but flies slightly to the side, conveniently landing on top of two of the Chupacabras just as they exit the Patriot. The police cruiser then falls off the side of the overturned Stretch and goes upside down as well.

Niko: Sh*t! We're easy targets down here!
Bernie: Save me! SAVE ME LIKE YOU DID IN THE PARK IN MY FIRST MISSION!!!

The surviving Chupacabra, who exits the Patriot from the right side, hops down next to the Stretch and has Niko, Bernie and Brucie all in point blank range.

Chupacabra: You will be the three easiest victims I've ever had in my life...

And what happens next?
1: The cops crawl out of their cruiser and shoot the Chupacabra in the head just because the nearest jail is completely full and they don't feel like taking extra prisoners.
2: Roman, who is worried about Niko, arrives in his cab and accidentally runs over the Chupacabra, but becomes wanted by the police for doing this.
3: Brucie goes into a steroid induced rage mode, breaks out of the limo and punches the Chupacabra with his bare fists, causing him to fly a few blocks away.
4: Nothing happens, and the Chupacabra easily kills all three, although they respawn at the hospital.
5: Fred Phelps, who somehow survived the explosion but has lost all of his skin, limps to the scene and accidentally bumps into the Chupacabra, who falls over and his gun goes off into his own face.

TheUnholy
  • TheUnholy

    Brain Stew

  • Members
  • Joined: 17 Jan 2012
  • None

#2187

Posted 20 February 2013 - 12:45 PM Edited by MarijuanaMonkey, 20 February 2013 - 06:27 PM.

QUOTE (Carbonox @ Wednesday, Feb 20 2013, 00:18)
2: Roman, who is worried about Niko, arrives in his cab and accidentally runs over the Chupacabra, but becomes wanted by the police for doing this.

Roman: Hey, cousin? Where were you?

CRASH!

Roman: Man, I've had the window yesterday.
LCPD: The suspect in the black, oldie cab! Just step out of your car, put your hands up and get down on your knees.
Roman: In your dreams, stupid assholes.

Roman runs away with his cab.

Niko: ROMAN! ROMAN! F*ck!

This time, a grenade rolls out from Chupacabra's jacket, its pin rigs out.

Brucie: Double hamburgers!
Bernie: Sh*t! Our brains will be blown.

Niko, who is in hero manners, picks the grenade and throws them to the cops, causing most of them die (with Soviet Union playing background).

Brucie: Why this creepy music plays everytime Niko goes heroism?
Niko: Well, I think this music reflects my red army, heroic skills.

This time, a coach which carries Australian tourists passes on the road. Suddenly, Niko stops it and all of threee (Niko, Brucie, Bernie) get in it.

Niko: Don't move you f*cking f*cks. We're really really bad men and we're hi-jacking the bus. If one of yous try to play hero, you'll get a bullet to the heart.
Bernie: Well Niko, I think this would be described as racist.
Niko: You're saying it!? All of these troubles are on our heads because of you, fag. And driver! Lift the f*ck up your ass.

Niko begins driving the bus with the squeals of Bernie and Australian tourists. Meanwhile Brucie shows his muscles to an Australian chick.

After LCPD are seen chasing Niko with a dozens of police cars. Also anti-racist extremists, who are somehow ressurected, started a huge riot in the city and stole an Annihilator, follow Niko. And three Chupacabra assassins rushed to find and kill Niko who killed their dealer.

What happens next?

1. Head of the anti-racist extremists jumps over the copter (with American Idiot playing background), he lands on the coach Niko drives, he reaches the front window, opens driver door and starts to beat Niko.
2. Chupacabra assassins cut off Niko's way, produce their guns and fire on the bus while yelling "You're gonna f*cking die, pendejo!".
3. Niko speeds down, causing to a timegap, he, Brucie, Bernie and Australian tourists get sucked into the timegap and they're in 1776, the colonial American era.
4. LCPD officers act as suicide bombers; when they pass near Niko's coach, they begin blowing themselves by Sticky Bombs.

The_Anti-tragedy
  • The_Anti-tragedy

    In the zone

  • Members
  • Joined: 04 Dec 2011
  • Canada

#2188

Posted 22 February 2013 - 03:32 AM

QUOTE (MarijuanaMonkey @ Wednesday, Feb 20 2013, 12:45)
1. Head of the anti-racist extremists jumps over the copter (with American Idiot playing background), he lands on the coach Niko drives, he reaches the front window, opens driver door and starts to beat Niko.

Niko is no longer at the wheel because he and the head of the anti-racist extremists are brawling in the middle of the bus. One of the Australian tourists packed a gun for no reason and takes it out of his bag.
Australian: Niko, I'll save you!
Bernie: Guys, up ahead! AH!
Brucie: Oh sh*t!
The tourist shoots the extremist in the back. Niko finally sees what Bernie was yelling about. Three APC's and three Annihilators with LCPD and Chupcabras inside are right in front of the Bus.
Niko: HANG TIGHT EVERYONE!
Niko quickly steers the bus and smashes through two of the APC's while the Annihilators fire their miniguns at them.
Brucie: I'm gonna puke!
Niko: Niko steers the Bus off of the highway while being shot by turrets and goes to Chinatown.
1. The Triads try to help them for some reason.
2. The Triads hate them and shoot at them with miniguns.
3. The Bus takes too many shots and is about to blow.
4. The Australian tourists puke all over the place with Brucie. Niko uses it as an advantage and aims them to the police.
5. Bernie sh*ts his pants, and it goes EVERYWHERE.

Corndog93
  • Corndog93

    Boss

  • Members
  • Joined: 07 Jan 2011
  • Australia

#2189

Posted 25 February 2013 - 02:17 AM

3. The Bus takes too many shots and is about to blow.

(Brucie) That bus full of Aussies is about to blow

(Niko) We go to save them
Niko and Brucie save half of the Aussies before the bus explodes killing the rest of them

(Niko) Damn
The cops show up and they get the hell out of there
Where do they go???
1) City Hall
2) Bohan
3) Brucie's Apartmant
4) The Oscars

The_Anti-tragedy
  • The_Anti-tragedy

    In the zone

  • Members
  • Joined: 04 Dec 2011
  • Canada

#2190

Posted 25 February 2013 - 02:57 AM

QUOTE (billy james @ Monday, Feb 25 2013, 02:17)
4) The Oscars

Niko: Why are we here?
Brucie: Who cares, let's fix the voting system.
Niko and Brucie are in the audience along with half of the Aussies. They call one of Brucie's girls to come to the Oscars. She arrives in an Infernus. She gets dropped off and she goes to the door where Niko and Brucie are, who are now wearing suits.
Girl: That suit doesn't make you look any more attractive.
Brucie: Man, woman. Anyways, whatshername, get us to backstage.
Girl: Sure, my name's Lisa by the way. I like Niko more.
Brucie: One again. Women.
They go to the door for backstage and Lisa shows her breasts at the guard and they gain access. Niko and Brucie rewrite the cue cards for Seth MacFarlane to read.
Niko: Sh*t, the guards are coming!
Niko and Brucie quickly flee backstage into the audience and watch the show.
Seth: It is an honor to present this first award. The award for best director of a movie. Here are the nominees. Richard Head, Issac Hunt, Ben Dover, and Woody Johnson. What the f*ck? This is like an episode of Family Guy.
1. Niko and Brucie burst out laughing and are kicked out. Lisa is still inside and the door is locked.
2. Seth goes into a conversation with the manager about the cue cards. While they stall, Brucie, Niko, and Lisa volunteer to do a show on stage.
3. Everyone laughs and does the Harlem Shake for no reason.
4. The Mexican guards recognize Niko and Brucie and call the cops and the Chupacabras.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users