The Lost and Damned
The Ballad of Gay Tony
My Chain Story
Posted 11 January 2013 - 01:56 AM
"Niko, wake up! Niko?" Lance Vance yells at Niko.
"Too much...Homeless With Attitude...ugh, what happened?" Niko says sleepily.
"A piece of the ceiling fell on top of you while we were being opened fire on, then you lost consciousness." says Lance.
*Niko glances quickly around his apartment sitting down on the floor to find it in ruins.*
"Now get up, you skinny bastard. We have work to do." Says Ricardo Diaz.
What happens next?
1. Haitian are trying to bust down the front door of the complex with a police battering ram(The building was put on lockdown after it was shot at by the Haitians in the helicopter earlier).
2. Ricardo Diaz recognizes two Haitians and jumps over the remains of Niko's balcony, landing in Lance's conveniently placed black Feltzer, with Lance doing the same immediately afterward, Niko gets on a Sanchez and follows.
3. Niko looks out from his balcony, and sees the bomb squad approaching fast in several Police Stockades, They have to get out of Algonquin fast before the bomb the Haitians planted goes off in approximately 60 seconds(Catch my reference?).
Edited by Driftking120, 11 January 2013 - 01:59 AM.
Posted 11 January 2013 - 03:04 AM
|QUOTE (Driftking120 @ Friday, Jan 11 2013, 01:56)|
|2. Ricardo Diaz recognizes two Haitians and jumps over the remains of Niko's balcony, landing in Lance's conveniently placed black Feltzer, with Lance doing the same immediately afterward, Niko gets on a Sanchez and follows.|
Niko: Why did I come here?!
Niko follows close behind the other two and they leave North Algonquin for the south.
Diaz: Those Haitians chico, they crazy shooting everything!
Lance: I thought my boy Tommy took care of them in Vice City.
Niko: So where are we going?
Diaz: To an old friend.
Niko: I don't like where this is going.
They pull over into an alleyway off of Union Drive West. They find a Stretch parking up by the stairs. Out steps Avery Carrington.
Niko: Hey you're that real estate guy from Vice City.
Avery: That's right. I can give you guys some real firepower to really blow back those darn Haitians. I got this from real estate funds.
Avery opens the trunk and Niko, Lance, and Diaz look over three M16's and one minigun.
Diaz: My friend... this will do.
One of the three each takes a weapon, Lance and Diaz with M16's and Niko takes the minigun.
Niko: Let's get those Haitian pricks!
Out of nowhere Dwayne appears.
Dwayne: What about Keanu Reeves?
Niko: F*CK YOU!!
Niko throttles Dwayne with bullets, and Mila with a huge vagina comes out of nowhere.
Mila: But what about me?
Niko: F*CK YOU TOO!
Niko sprays Mila with bullets and kills Hossan before he even steps up to talk. Niko gets on the Sanchez and follows Lance and Diaz to up north, which in this case, is Northwood. Instantaneously Niko flashes and appears in this room with a selection of panels of different universes. These universes are: The Homeless With Attitude one, where HWA run half the city by flooding the subway with fluids after the subway shootout; The VC universe, the one he was just in behind LAnce and Diaz; The "beginning universe", where he just got paid for saving Bernie from the international gangs and goes home and never sees the Vice City FM billboard. A man walks next to the screens.
Man: Have you made a decision?
Niko: I think so, but one question. Where's the "Keanu Reeves" universe?
Man: That one is broken.
Niko: Oh. I choose...
1. The Vice City universe
2. The Homeless with Attitude universe
3. The Beginning universe
I think for the second time (first time was in last page) I've actually skipped some posts, I don't regret it.
Posted 11 January 2013 - 03:59 PM
|QUOTE (The_Anti-tragedy @ Friday, Jan 11 2013, 03:04)|
|3. The Beginning universe|
Niko: "The beginning" one.
Man: Well very well. You sure?
Niko: YEAH, I'M SURE. I DO NOT WANNA SEE SOME 1980'S PIECE OF SH*T, OR DO NOT ANY SH*T ABOUT MILA AND HER HUGE, LIGHTY AND SOMEHOW "PORTAL FOR THE UNIVERSES" VAGINA, OR NOT WANT SEE A "STONED" DWAYNE AND NOT WANT TO SEE OR HEAR ANY SH*T ABOUT MY FRIEND HOSSAN IS KEANU REEVES.
Man: Have a calm, man. But it's true that Keanu Reeves will save the universe one day.
Niko: Yeah, where to "The Beginning" universe?
Man: The third portal.
Niko starts to beat the sh*t out of the man because he talks sh*ts about Keanu Reeves.
Man: One day, everyone will be believing Keanu Reeves.
Niko: Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Niko spits on the man, after rushes to the portal. He finds himself in the bed of his home.
Niko: My head. It f*cking hurts!
Niko goes to his balcony but sees that everyone is seen naked and having gay orgy.
Niko: F*ck, man! This is disgusting.
Niko gets out of his safehouse, starts to reach to his car and tries to avoid penises and semens.
Niko: God! Finally.
Niko speeds down the City Hall to ask Bernie what the hell is going on. However he finds Bernie having a gay orgy with an Afro person.
Niko: Bernie, what the f*ck?
Bernie: What's the matter, Niko?
Niko: Uhh! Don't you see? Everybody walking around nude in the streets and having sex, also gay sex, in the public.
Bernie: Yeah, I know. I legalized them.
Niko goes his hot-head and starts to beat Bernie and Afro man scares and escapes from the area. Niko beats Bernie but he is not affected by them.
Bernie: [with a cold, deep, evil voice] Hello there, my son.
Niko: What is this?
Later Bernie's face starts to fade and John Milton's (from The Devil's Advocate movie) face appears on Bernie's body.
Niko: [scared] Who are you?
Bernie (or John Milton whatever): You can call me father.
Niko: F*CK YOU!
Niko fists Bernie so hard but it doesn't work.
Bernie: Your mortal fists does not work on me. HUH! HUH! HUH! [Evil laugh]
Niko: What's the problem? Somehow he is immune to my red army skills.
Dwayne suddenly appears in the room (Morpheus style).
Niko: This must be a nightmare. Sh*t, I killed you, didn't I?
Dwayne: That was of another universe. I told you. Keanu Reeves will save the universe one day and this is that day. Only Keanu Reeves can beat the devil.
Niko: What's the deal with him?
Dwayne: Didn't you watch "The Devil's Advocate" movie? Uhh, whatever come with me. We gotta find Reeves.
Dwayne and Niko enters Mila's "wormhole" with the help of Roman. They go through the universes and they find Keanu Reeves (Hossan) at a "I, Robot" steorotype universe. They successfully fight with robots and take down the main computer that runs the world and later they take Hossan to "The Beginning" universe. They find themselves in the old casino in Alderney. All go to City Hall, Reeves (Hossan) just touches on John Milton (Bernie) and he fades off, is destroyed once and for all.
Niko: Wow, I believe now. You're the one who is the provider and savior of the universe, Hossan. That's so cool.
Hossan: Not so much. I mean being Keanu Reeves is cool but it's too tiring. Also as a secret, I can't get erections.
Niko: Oh, that's bad.
Dwayne: What does it mean, Reeves?
Hossan: I want to retire, Forge.
Dwayne: I think it's impossible.
Roman rushes to the area.
Roman: If he does not want to, do not push him. I can be Keanu Reeves, I can get the chicks just for all myself. [silently] What a stupid bastard. [to Hossan]
Dwayne: Well, then. You're Keanu Reeves, the provider and the savior of the universe, the new mayor of Liberty City.
Roman: Yeah! Yeah!
Dwayne benders the Keanu Reeves powers of Hossan, absorbs them and later gives all of them to Roman.
Roman: Yes, yes. I'm feeling more powerful. I'm the king of the universe. HUH! HUH!
Niko: But you won't get erections anymore.
Hossan: We would tell you but you did never give a break.
Roman: You're lying.
A hot chick walks near Roman but Roman recognizes he couldn't get erection.
Roman: Oh, goddamnit!
Niko: Hey, Hossan. Let's go to a bar for celebrating you're a normal guy.
Hossan: Yeah, I can appreciate that.
What happens in the bar?
1. They find Packie there and he offers them some acid which he and his gang recently stole from Ancelottis.
2. They make a drinking challenge.
3. They watch a football match between Liberty City Cocks and Red Mist FC. Also a football fight happens in the bar between Liberty City Cocks fans and Red Mist MC fans.
4. They meet some meth user chicks in the bar but later they're mugged by them.
Posted 12 January 2013 - 12:35 AM
*After three hours of straight drinking, Niko passes out. When Niko wakes up, Lance Vance is standing in front of him. Niko rubs his eyes, Lance doesn't disappear.*
(Hossan is tied with his hands behind his back, and his mouth duct taped in a closet somewhere in the club, without Niko knowing.)
"Not you again." says Niko.
"Miss me? Now get up, we have work to do." says Lance.
*Niko obediently follows Lance to his Black Feltzer, Ricardo Diaz is in the back*
"It's about time your fat ass shows up! I've been waiting for you for over half an hour!" Ricardo barks angrily at Niko.
*A thumbs down sign with Ricardo Diaz's name written beside it flashes above the radar.*
"Get in the car you lazy scum!" Ricardo orders Niko.
*Niko gets in the car and drives instinctively to City Hall full throttle.*
1. Niko is busy daydreaming and doesn't see a gold Oracle infront of him, rear ending it. Lance gets out of the car and pulls Niko out of the drivers seat stating "You f*cking monkey wrecked my new car, now I'm driving.", Niko then gets in the back of the Feltzer.
2. Niko kidnapped a black person in a white tuxedo that looked like Lance, and jumped into a black Feltzer with a old fat guy in the back that looked like Ricardo. The old fat guy is scared, while the Jamaican Niko kidnapped is pissed and holds a Glock to Niko's head, ordering him to drive to the docks in Hove Beach.
3. Niko drives to City Hall, there is a bunch of Haitians outside hiding behind dozens of red Voodoos, getting ready to breach City Hall.
Edited by Driftking120, 12 January 2013 - 12:49 AM.
Posted 12 January 2013 - 04:09 AM
|QUOTE (Driftking120 @ Saturday, Jan 12 2013, 00:35)|
|2. Niko kidnapped a black person in a white tuxedo that looked like Lance, and jumped into a black Feltzer with a old fat guy in the back that looked like Ricardo. The old fat guy is scared, while the Jamaican Niko kidnapped is pissed and holds a Glock to Niko's head, ordering him to drive to the docks in Hove Beach.|
Niko drives and asks some questions first.
Niko: Who are you, and where's Lance and Ricardo?
Jamaican: Me and de old man, were ridin' down in Northwood and found that the bloodclots stole our money an' ting.
Niko: But why is an old man with you?
Old man: We were going on a "bumpy ride".
Niko: They have male prostitutes now. Good to know.
Niko drives the homosexual Jamaican and the fat old man to the docks in Hove Beach. The fat man and the Jamaican have sex in the back.
Niko: That sounds disgusting.
Old man: I'm the older Keanu Reeves.
Niko shoots the man in the head. The Jamaican points the gun and Niko's head again. Niko picks up the pace and drops him off.
Jamaican: Thanks for your help rasta.
The Jamaican catches a boat and Niko gets a call from Lance.
Lance: Niko!! Where the f*ck are you?!
Niko: Lance, I saw this Jamaican and a fat old man that looked like you and Diaz where are you?
Lance: Thanks to you, I'm in a closet with your friend "Hawsen"! Or whatever!
Niko: I'm coming for you guys.
Niko takes a cab to the bar and finds that the portal to the "Beginning" universe is visible. He opens the closet and finds Lance and Hossan. Two fat guys are sleeping on two chairs. Niko notices Lance and Hossan are sleeping, so he quietly saves them and gets in trouble. The people in the bar think Niko killed Lance and Hossan as the two are sleeping.
Bartender: Hey he killed those two!
Packie happens to be there.
Packie: Hey I know my friend Niko and Hossan is his friend. But I can't explain the black guy.
1. Niko doesn't jump in the portal and goes outside where a Buffalo is parked.
2. Niko decides to jump into the portal with Lance and Hossan. He is at City Hall after saving Bernie.
3. Packie gets into a fight and is punched back and pushes Niko, Lance, Hossan, and himself into the portal.
4. Niko doesn't jump but when going outside the Haitians have the whole place surrounded.
5. The stereo is sabotaged and plays a message about Vice City FM. Everyone is now dancing like in the 80's.
Posted 12 January 2013 - 03:59 PM
Packie: Well, whatever, there'll be plenty of time for black guy explainations later...if you wanna get to my buddy Niko, you're gonna have to go through me!
The bartender and a few of the bar's patrons start to fight Niko and Packie...but a well-placed punch by one of the stronger patrons knocks Niko, Packie and the knocked out Hossan and Lance through the portal.
The portal transports the foursome back to "the beginning universe" where they all collapse into a messy heap of bodies since they were still reeling from the punch that sent them through.
The portal then inexplicably closes behind them.
Niko and Packie free themselves from the body pile and survey the scene of "the beginning universe"
Packie: Where the f*ck are we?
Niko: I've been here before...this place is caled "the beginning universe"...It's the central point that connects all universes and kinda controls what goes on in them or some sh*t. I'm apparently supposed to find some guy named Keanu Reeves...I've been told he can fix whatever it is that's f*cked up all the other universes if we can bring him here...
Packie: Keanu Reeves, huh? That names sounds familiar for some reason...
Niko: Familiar? Familiar how?
Packie strains his voice a little as he struggles to get his brain to think back.
Packie: ...Iiii'm a little too drunk to remember...he's either an old drinking buddy of mine who wears sunglasses indoors all the time, or I saw him in a movie once. It might even be both, actually...
Niko (sarcasticlly): That's a lot of help.
Suddenly another portal opens up to another universe.
Niko: Maybe we'll find him through here.
Packie: Alright, I'm with ya, pal, I wanna help you find this Keanu Reeves guy. But what do we do with our KO'd entourage?
Niko: Leave 'em here, they'll just slow us down. They should be safe enough...plus we'll be coming back here once we search this next universe for Keanu. I best leave them a note in case they come to while we're gone.
Niko pulls out a pen and a piece of paper, scribbles down a note basically instructing Hossan and Lance to stay put, leaves it by the two KO'd bodies, then jumps through the portal with Packie following straight after.
On the other side of the portal they find :-
1) A tropical beachside resort with a hotel, a swimming pool, a hot tub, palm trees...and lots of hot, naked chicks.
2) A Medeival, fantasy world with castles and forests and knights and dragons and stuff.
3) The Land of Oz, with the yellow brick road leading to The Crystal City. (We're definatly not in Liberty City anymore!)
Edited by Handsome Vulpine, 12 January 2013 - 04:02 PM.
Posted 12 January 2013 - 08:47 PM
|QUOTE (Handsome Vulpine @ Saturday, Jan 12 2013, 15:59)|
| 2) A Medeival, fantasy world with castles and forests and knights and dragons and stuff.|
Niko: Sh*t! What is it now?
Packie: Seems like we're in The Lord Of Rings universe. Ohh look, and these must be Rohan knights.
Five knights are seen riding on white horses, they approach and surrender Niko and Packie.
Rohan Knight: Who are you, strangers?
Packie: I'm Packie and this is my Balkanian friend Niko Bellic. We're from Liberty City and...
Rohan Knight 2: Yeah, I've heard of that place.
Rohan Knight 3: That is the setting of the PSP game GTA:Liberty City Stories.
Rohan Knight 4: So?
Rohan Knight: So!? These would be guys we're looking for. Come on, we have short time.
Rohan Knights take Niko and Packie to Minas Tirith where Aragorn, Legolas, Gandalf and Frodo are talking about a sticky situation.
Rohan Knight: Grand Wizard! These guys are saying they're from Liberty City.
Gandalf: Liberty City? Sh*t! These guys could be the guys we're looking for.
Legolas: Yeah, right.
Aragorn: Are you idiot? You know that only Keanu Reeves can save us.
Niko: Sh*t! Here we go again.
Frodo: You guys, please. You know I can fix anything goes wrong. Let me f*ck those goddamn evils.
Legolas: Yeah, right.
Aragorn: Shut up, you shorty hobbit f*ck! The only thing you do is wandering around with your wedding ring.
Legolas: Yeah, right.
Gandalf: Come on. Maybe these gentlemen have power to save us.
Aragorn: Whatever you say, Gandalf. But we know that the only way is Keanu Reeves.
Packie: Please, guys. Let us try. My friends always say that I'm good at video games.
Then Saruman's armies are rushing through the gate of Minas Tirith.
Frodo: F*ck! They came Galadrieldamnit!
Aragorn: Okay, okay. Let the chumps try.
Packie: Let's watch and learn how to play PSP.
Packie presses a button and "GAME OVER!" appears on screen.
Niko: I think that's good enough. PHUHUHUHUH!
Gandalf: You're right, Aragorn. We need Keanu Reeves. Only he can save us.
This time, Uruk Hai hits on the wall of Minas Tirith with a mine.
Frodo: Sh*t! Sh*t! Sh*t!
This time Roman rushes to Minas Tirith on a horse and stating that he's Keanu Reeves.
Roman: Yeah, I'm Keanu Reeves. What's the problem?
Gandalf: Galadriel, finally. Listen Mr.Reeves. You need to play PSP and destroy the armies of Sauron right now.
Roman: Well, this cannot be bad as that.
Roman sits and starts to play PSP, he blows some orc soldiers, killing a horse rider. When he reaches score 173, he passes out because of drinking too much.
Gandalf: Galadrieldamnit! Who will save us?
Niko: Well, I'll give a try.
Niko picks up PSP and only kills one orc soldier. He makes his score 3 and soon "GAME OVER!" appears on the screen.
Niko: What!? I didn't do anything except for killing that goddamn orc.
Packie: Well, who is better. PHUHUH!
Niko: At least I killed someone, limbo.
After a few minutes.
Niko: Maybe I would know someone who can do it.
Gandalf opens a time portal and Niko summons retired Keanu Reeves (Hossan) to save the day.
Niko: Hossan. Pick up this PSP and f*ck all these bastards up.
Hossan picks PSP. Successfully kills 50 soldiers of the evil army and eliminates a dragon but when he reaches score 4300, game overs.
Hossan: Uhh, man. This sh*t is too hard.
Later Kenny McCormick (from South Park) falls out of the sky.
Rohan Knight: Damn! Who is that kid?
Packie: OH MY GOSH! OH MY GOSH! GOSH! GOSH! IT'S KENNY MCCORMICK! [faints]
Niko, Hossan, Gandalf, Aragorn, Frodo, Legolas, Rohan Knight: Weirdo!
Kenny: Murph murph! Murph murph murph murph murph! (Well, leave it to me. I'm the f*cking best at this sh*t)
Kenny picks up the PSP and successfully manages to destroy all of evil army.
Rohan Knight: Oh my Galadriel! He did it!
Hossan: Yeah, this is awesome.
Frodo: Not better than me but not bad.
Legolas: Yeah, right.
Aragorn: Yeah, this kid is definitely Keanu Reeves. ALL HAIL THE KEANU REEVES!
Rohan Knight, Gandalf, Niko, Hossan, Legolas, Frodo: ALL HAIL THE KEANU REEVES!
Niko: Then the day is saved here, now we must take Keanu to our universe and make him fix the things up.
Gandalf opens a portal and Niko, Hossan and Kenny go to...
1. A universe where is dictated by a Hitler robot.
2. A futuristic universe where everything is made of chicken meat.
3. A universe where all countries are trying to blow each others with nuclear weapons.
4. A universe which is solely occupied by teen vampires.
Edited by MarijuanaMonkey, 12 January 2013 - 08:49 PM.
Posted 12 January 2013 - 11:34 PM
|QUOTE (MarijuanaMonkey @ Saturday, Jan 12 2013, 20:47)|
|3. A universe where all countries are trying to blow each others with nuclear weapons.|
Niko, Hossan and Kenny find themselves in the ruins of Liberty City.
Hossan: "What happened here?"
Niko: "Looks like an atomic bomb went off. How are we gonna save the day now that everything has been destroyed? This is hopeless!"
Kenny: "Mph mph."
Kenny: "Mph mph."
Niko: "Oh he said "Mph mph."
Hossan: "What's that mean?"
Kenny: "MPH MPH!"
Niko: "Calm down!"
Hossan: "English motherf*cker! Do you speak it?"
Suddenly a lightning bolt strikes Kenny killing him instantly.
Hossan: "That lightning bolt killed Kenny!"
Niko: "You bastard!"
Dan Houser: "Oi! Who you calling a bastard?"
Niko: "Dan? Is that you?"
Dan: "Yeah I've been watching this very messy and complicated issue play out. It's quite humourous. Keanu Reeves can save you lot? *Pfft* Did he create Grand Theft Auto? Did he create the GTA universes? I didn't think so. I'm your God, your creator, your saviour."
Niko: "I accept that. Please, just right these wrongs and send us back home!"
Dan: "Give me a sec."
The world freeves and then turns black. "Loading..." appears in the bottom right hand corner and Niko finds himself standing in Star Junction.
Niko: "I'm back! And everything appears to be back to normal now." *Almost gets hit by a taxi*
Taxi driver: "Stupid malaka!"
Niko: "Good day to you too sir!"
Taxi driver: "Are you on drugs or something?"
Niko runs through the streets and...
1. Accidentally knocks over an LCPD officer.
2. Runs into [dramatic music plays] Jay Leno.
3. Is run over by a truck.
4. Falls down an open drain-cover and ends up in the sewers.
5. Is chased by doctors from a psychiatric hospital thinking he was an escapee.
Posted 13 January 2013 - 03:09 AM
"Following the asshole on foot." the officer says into his walkie-talkie.
"Screw you!" Niko yells back to the officer.
*An LCPD cruiser swerves infront of Niko, blocking his path. Two officers get out and both take cover behind the left side of their car, Niko takes cover behind the right side of their car and pulls out a shotgun. When one of the officer sprints out from behind cover to shoot Niko, Niko instead shoots the officer in the ballsack. When his partner abandons cover to try to help him, Niko shoots him in the hand. Niko then steals their squad car and peels off, receiving a 5 star wanted level. Niko calls Yusuf.*
*On the phone*
*Yusuf's voice mail comes on*
"sh*t...Hey Yusuf, It's Niko, it's one of those mornings, give me a call back,...Please?" Niko says into the phone.
*Suddenly, as soon as Niko hangs up the phone, "Battery dead" appears on the screen."
"Double sh*t." Niko says to himself.
What happens next?
1. Lance Vance in black Feltzer pulls up to the side of Niko and tells him to follow him to his "crib".
2. Niko runs into a cardboard box filled with cement and flies through the windshield, landing next to a well-placed gernade, Niko then gets up and throws it. It lands next to one of the support beam to the above-ground subway tracks. The Subway tracks collapse and crush a Police Patriot, blocking the path Niko came, while a police roadblock blocks Niko's only exit, Niko grabs the MP5 that flew out of the Police Patriot and begins firing.
3. We follow Yusuf, who is locked inside a room at The Majestic Hotel due to unknown events involving getting drunk.
Edited by Driftking120, 13 January 2013 - 04:23 AM.
Posted 14 January 2013 - 12:21 PM
|QUOTE (Driftking120 @ Sunday, Jan 13 2013, 03:09)|
| 2. Niko runs into a cardboard box filled with cement and flies through the windshield, landing next to a well-placed gernade, Niko then gets up and throws it. It lands next to one of the support beam to the above-ground subway tracks. The Subway tracks collapse and crush a Police Patriot, blocking the path Niko came, while a police roadblock blocks Niko's only exit, Niko grabs the MP5 that flew out of the Police Patriot and begins firing.|
Niko fires on police roadblock, one of the police car flames off, its explosion causes all other cars blow. The road totally opens, Niko begin to speed down but two police cars begin to follow him. Niko uses his drift skills to bump police cars into eachothers and it ends with success. Niko drives to the spray shop in Northwood, so he successfully loses cops. When he was turning the corner, he recognizes Roman giving an open speech to Liberty City citizens.
Roman: My friends. Almost all of the GTA people say our god is Dan Houser, but it's bullsh*t. If Houser was God, he would reward us with hot chicks, piles of money, sports cars. But look; only thing he gives us is poverty. I say that Keanu Reeves is the provider and savior of us. He gave me dollars, cars, women, unlike Houser. It's time to end the Houser lie.
Citizen 2: Yeah, Houser is only giving us sh*t.
Citizen 3: Universe only belongs to the big Keanu Reeves.
Jacob: Yah, you right, Roman an' ting. We must fuk that Houser bich in the ass, yo.
Niko: Sh*t! Not this again.
Brucie: I agree with my Roman. Keanu gave us all what we wanted. So join us and end that Houser's region.
Roman recognizes Niko.
Roman: Cousin. Come and join our rightful fight.
Niko: F*CK YOU!
Niko gets a rocket launcher from the back of his car and blows all the Reevesists.
Niko: Yeah, this is better. This is F*CKING better.
2 hours later.
Niko is seen watching Republican Space Ranger at his safehouse, then Roman calls him to pick him from the hospital.
Roman: Hey Niko, can you take me from the Holland hospital?
Niko: GO AND F*CK YOURSELF. [angrily hangs up the phone]
Niko starts to call his friends to get help to finish Reevesism.
Niko: Oh Johnny. Can you help me to finish Keanu Reeves and his f*cking followers?
Johnny: Nah man, I can't. Sorry.
Johnny: I don't know, dude. I like his movies. I didn't know there was a foundation praising Reeves. I'm gonna join it. You know the adress?
Niko: AAAAAAHHHHH! [hangs up]
Niko: Luis. What's up? Can you help me to finish off Keanu Reeves?
Luis: Sure but why, bro?
Niko: Because there are some guys think that he's the provider and savior of the universe. But God and savior is only Dan.
Luis: You right, bro. I cannot forget the time he blessed us with his yummy foods.
Niko: Okay then. See ya' later.
Niko: Hey Yusuf. How are you?
Yusuf: Good, nigga. I was partying in my suite, you wanna join?
Niko: I would like to but we have bigger problems.
Yusuf: Like what?
Niko: Reevesists are f*cking occupying Liberty City. We must stop them.
Yusuf: Okay dude but just for blowing some guys.
Niko: Thanks, man. See ya.
Niko: Hey, Dwayne. What's going on?
Dwayne: I was sleeping. What's happening?
Niko: Sh*t is happening, man. Reevesisim is about to conquer whole city, we must stop it right now.
Dwayne: You know I can't, man. I am a Reevesist - Buddhist.
Niko: What's that?
Dwayne: I believe in Reeves with Buddha's principles. I'm gonna meditate, I gotta go.
Niko: Hossan. How are you?
Hossan: Good. You?
Niko: Terrible. We got a Keanu Reeves danger again.
Hossan: What is it?
Niko: The Reevesist are outnumbering in Liberty City, we must exterminate them all.
Hossan: Actually, I'm former Keanu Reeves but I'll help you. I got sick of Keanu Reeves and his followers.
Niko: Thanks, brother.
Later Reevesist are seen in their temple (which is Roman's Cab Depot), talking about Keanu's heroisms and watching them (watching films like Matrix, Devil's Advocate, Constantine, also watching South Park episode Best Friends Forever where Kenny McCormick saves the heaven by using his Keanu Reeves skills).
Johnny: Wow, buddy. I like this film. Constantine, beat the sh*t out of the devil.
Tony: He's too hot, man, I hardly stand fingering myself.
Jacob: Shoot dem fools, Neo.
Roman: You see? This is what a God does. Saving his people. But Houser always throws us in danger instead of letting us live in peace.
Brucie: Yeah, that's right. Now let's gulp our pills.
Hossan: Allright, Niko. What we're gonna do now?
Niko: We will shoot our way to Egypt first. Where we can learn something about Reeves.
1. Niko and the guys (Hossan, Luis, Yusuf) hi-jacks an airplane which is thought as a terrorist act.
2. Niko and the guys go to Area 69 to obtain a transportation machine but they must fight with Stewie Griffin and his evil army first.
3. Niko and the guys decide to go to Egypt by Platypus but they're attacked by some Matrix style wearing men.
4. Niko and the guys go to Vice City, activate "SEAWAYS" cheat, so now they can go to Egypt by their swimming car.
Edited by MarijuanaMonkey, 14 January 2013 - 01:36 PM.
Posted 16 January 2013 - 12:06 AM
*Instead, Niko suddenly realizes he's riding on an old ladies back, and that a bunch of cops are hitting him with their nightsticks. Immediately, Niko flees the scene.*
"Hey you, get back here!" an officer yells at Niko.
"Go cry to your therapist" says Niko back.
*Niko calls Yusuf, instead Yusuf's voice mail comes on(Yusuf is trapped in a room at The Majestic after suffering a concussion from an unknown enemy at Maisonette 9.).
What happens next?
1. The Majestic explodes into a million pieces of flaming debris, distracting the police, and letting Niko escape(Middle Park is closed down for the next 10 pages. Also, Yusuf will not appear again until the next page.).
2. Niko steals a Sultan RS, moments later losing control and crashing into the Lost MC Clubhouse, Niko and the members of the Lost MC have a final standoff with the police.
3. Niko desperately runs inside a theater in Star Junction that in the middle of the play "Swinging Puppets", Niko pulls out a gun and holds everyone inside hostage, somehow dropping his phone inside a glass of
Pi▀wasser in the process, the LCPD quickly surrounding the building.
Edited by Driftking120, 18 January 2013 - 07:16 PM.
Posted 18 January 2013 - 07:18 PM
1/19/13: >.< *pissed*
Edited by Driftking120, 19 January 2013 - 08:45 PM.
Posted 22 January 2013 - 04:53 AM
2. Niko steals a Sultan RS, moments later losing control and crashing into the Lost MC Clubhouse, Niko and the members of the Lost MC have a final standoff with the police.
(Niko) Oh f*ck me
(Terry) Kill these cops
(Johnny) Thanks Niko for getting the cops in our business
(Niko) Yeah sorry about that.
Niko and the Lost MC kill every cop there but more show up and eventually NooSE and the FIB show up and out number them
(Johnny) F*ck this, c-mon there an underground entrance to this place
Niko and the MC retreat to the back entrance and it leads them to an underground cave that leads to the prison
(Niko) You never took this entrance did you?
(Johnny) No, not really,
(Terry) Hey Johnny there's a door here
(Johnny) What are you waiting for, open it
Terry open it and they start walking though it and it leads to the statue of happiness
(Johnny) How long has this tunnel been down here
(Niko) Did we just go underwater
(Clay) Come to think of it I think we did
They then find another door that leads to...
Where does the 3rd tunnel lead to???
1) Niko's Middle Park East Apartment
3) Another door
4) The Libitonian
5) The Tiolets in Middle Park
Edited by billy james, 23 January 2013 - 04:32 AM.
Posted 25 January 2013 - 03:59 PM
|QUOTE (billy james @ Tuesday, Jan 22 2013, 04:53)|
|5) The Tiolets in Middle Park|
They carry on their journey through the underground tunnel system and eventually find themselves in the toilets in Middle Park.
Niko: "The toilets in Middle Park? Seriously?"
Just then a homeless man comes out of a cubicle.
Homeless man: "The Reptilians are taking over!"
Clay: "Who you calling a Reptilian, crackhead!?"
Homeless man: "You ain't taking no more sperm from me Reptilian!"
Clay: "Say that again. I dare you, I double dare you motherf*cker!"
Homeless man: "No mommy, please, no more killing!" *Runs away*
Clay: "Get back here!"
Johnny: "No Clay, it's not worth it!"
Clay chases after the homeless man and Johnny, Niko, and the rest of the gang chase after Clay.
The chase winds all over Middle Park, with many pedestrians getting knocked into Middle Park Lake.
Ped: "No one pushes me into the lake and gets away with it!"
Woman: "I hate getting wet!"
Ped: "Nothing, nothing. Let's chase after them!"
Eventually a mass of pedestrians chases after the gang who soon draw the attention of the LCPD who close the park and attempt to stop the massive chase.
LCPD officer: "Man, I'm out of shape!" *cough* *wheeze*
Niko: "Johnny, the LCPD are after us! Again!"
Johnny: "This is getting stupid now." *Pulls out a Glock and shoots the homeless man*.
Clay: "Johnny! I nearly had him!"
The pedestrians are startled by the gunshot and stampede towards the pursuing LCPD officers causing great confusion, allowing Niko, Johnny, and the rest of the Lost to escape.
LCPD officer: "Ah dammit we lost them! Oh well, back to Rusty Brown's Ring Donuts then."
Niko, Johnny, and the rest of The Lost split up and go their separate ways to escape any pursuing LCPD officers.
1. Niko who has gone to Bohan to lay low.
2. Johnny who is returning to the clubhouse to get his bike.
3. Clay who is hiding in a dumpster in an alleyway.
4. Terry who is hiding in the kitchen in a Burger Shot.
5. Angus who somehow managed to find himself in the subway.
Posted 29 January 2013 - 12:15 AM
|QUOTE (AlexGTAGamer @ Friday, Jan 25 2013, 15:59)|
|4. Terry who is hiding in the kitchen in a Burger Shot.|
Terry is at the Burger Shot next to the Hickey Bridge to Alderney.
Terry: The food here smells like sh*t.
Employee: Did we get the shipment yet, lunch hour's coming up.
Employee2: Yeah, that's all the manure.
Terry gags and sees that two cops enter the restaurant.
Cop1: Why do we have to investigate here? They served me a burger once and I swear I saw chunks of brown and green meat!
Cop2: Ugh, it even smells like sh*t in here. Why did the LCPD let them get away with that again?
Terry gets a mustard container filled with mustard and comes out the door into a cop. He hurls the mustard all over the cops, stinging their eyes. Terry runs away just in time and goes inside an alleyway where he finds Clay climbing out of a dumpster.
Terry: Clay, I'm so glad you're here.
Clay: What the f*ck, in this dumpster I found toenails and a red and white puffy tissue. I also stepped on... well I don't know what I stepped on.
Clay pulls out a rotten [something] and shows it to Terry. Terry gags again.
Terry: We need to find Johnny and the others. Those cops aren't going to have mustard in their eyes for long.
Terry gets Clay out of the dumpster and they find another tunnel leading underground. It leads to San Quentin Ave. in South Bohan. They walk out an apartment building that had the end of the tunnel and see Niko cruising on Terry's bike that he stole singing to a song.
Niko: I ran. I ran all night and day. Couldn't get away.
Terry: NIKO! Get off my bike!
Niko is startled and hits the back of a Blista Compact and is ejected onto Clay's head. Terry tells Niko that they need to get Johnny and Angus and see what's with the underground tunnels.
1. Niko says that he found a wheelchair figure coming from a corner behind him and took the other direction in an intersection.
2. Clay shows Niko the thing he stepped on. Niko gags.
3. The two cops. find the three and go to arrest them but pause in the middle of it and ask them "Why aren't there five of you?"
4. Terry tells Niko about how Burger Shot use manure in their burgers. Niko gasps.
5. Angus is seen jumping from a plane crashing into a water tower onto the road in front of the three in a blue and orange Banshee.
Posted 02 February 2013 - 10:37 AM
|QUOTE (The_Anti-tragedy @ Monday, Jan 28 2013, 17:15)|
|4. Terry tells Niko about how Burger Shot use manure in their burgers. Niko gasps.|
Niko: That's disgusting! How could they have gotten away with this for so long?
Terry: I don't know, but I'm definitely taking this one to court!
Clay: How could you stand trial? You don't even have a lawyer!
Terry: One of you guys could be my lawyer. We could sue Burger Shot, get loads of money, and set up our own fast food place that always uses real meat
Clay: That's quite the statement, but which one of us do you want to be your lawyer?
1. Terry chooses Niko
2. Terry chooses Clay
3. Luis parachutes by, distracting the three
4. The police appear and attempt to arrest the three
Posted 02 February 2013 - 09:09 PM
|QUOTE (The Pizza Delivery Guy @ Saturday, Feb 2 2013, 10:37)|
|2. Terry chooses Clay|
Niko: Why Clay? He'll just shout "Lost MC" in court.
Clay: That's not true. Lost MC for the win!
Terry: I choose Niko then.
Niko: Good. Where's Angus?
Angus falls out of the sky and a burning subway car landed with him.
Angus: BUrRItO sLaMvan...
Angus falls over as soon as he gets up so Clay takes him inside Niko's apartment. Terry and Niko then go to court to sue Burger Shot.
1. The judge recognizes the two criminals and orders the cops next to him to arrest them.
2. Bernie had already sued Burger Shot and now owns it. He and Yusuf kick the door open.
3. Roman is a giant bowling ball and rolls onto the judge's desk.
4. The judge's gavel is actually a tampon wrapped around a mallet. The judge is disgusted and throws it onto the seats. Everyone gathers away from it.
5. Thomas Stubbs apparently owns Burger Shot and, being the corrupt politician he is, orders to have them killed.
Posted 03 February 2013 - 01:36 AM
|QUOTE (The_Anti-tragedy @ Saturday, Feb 2 2013, 14:09)|
|3. Roman is a giant bowling ball and rolls onto the judge's desk.|
Roman bursts into the courtroom, demolishing it and crushing the judge.
Roman: F*cking terrorists!
Niko: Roman, what the hell are you doing!?
Roman: The Al Qaeda terrorists are after me again!
Terry: Why are you a giant bowling ball then?
Roman: I've been playing Saints Row: the Third lately and been feeling really silly lately.
Niko: Saints Row 3???? You TRAITOR!!
Niko proceeds to beat Bowling Ball Roman.
What happens next?
1. Terry beaks up the fight and Niko turns on him
2. Roman escapes, tearing apart Liberty City
3. The judge didn't die and is actually __________
4. Terry declares that he wins the suing by default and takes command of Burger Shot.
Posted 03 February 2013 - 04:30 AM
(Niko) Never trust me, Hahahahaha
(Terry) What the hell man
Roman turns back to him self and becomes normal again
(Roman) Have you heard news cousin
(Niko) What's that Cousin
(Roman) Dan Houser delayed GTA V
(Niko) What!!!!, first Max Payne 3 and now GTA V, that's it I've had it with him!!!
Niko forgets everything he's doing and heads to the R* Office in Algonquin, when he's gets there he sees a lot of Pissed off gamers and walks into the office and demands to see Dan Houser, he grab someone by the collar
(Niko) Where the hell is Dan Housers office.
(Rockstar Employee) It's at the very top of the building, but he don't want to see no body though
(Niko) Dan and I are old friends
(R.E) Dan have a lot of money, he don't need no friends
Niko shoot the guy in the head and gets in an elevator and heads to the top floor
(Niko) Better get my Shotgun out
Niko reaches the top floor and see there a bunch of security waiting for him
(Niko) Red army activate
Niko goes all red army on everyone in his way, with everyone dead he then heads to the main office and sees Dan sitting there and Niko point his shotgun at him.
(Niko) Why the hell did you delay GTA V, I was looking forward getting it in May
(Dan) it Sam's idea, not mine
(Niko) Bullsh*t, you said the same thing when you delayed Max Payne 3
What happens next???
1) Niko kills Dan
2) Dan gets away by throwing a stapler at him
3) The Government arrests Dan for video games violence, to which Niko goes after them
4) Sam walks into the room with an AK 47
5) The head of Take Two walks into the room
Edited by billy james, 03 February 2013 - 09:04 AM.
Posted 03 February 2013 - 08:40 PM
|QUOTE (billy james @ Sunday, Feb 3 2013, 04:30)|
|4) Sam walks into the room with an AK 47|
Niko: Sam Houser! Was delaying GTA V your idea?
Sam: Yes, but instead of fleeing to Canada like a pussy, I thought I might as well just kill you here!
Niko: What if I respawn?
Dan: You're our creation, we can kill you. Permanently.
Niko runs to Dan's desk and throws him into Sam. He gets out a SPAS-12 and shoots Sam in the balls.
Sam: My testicles have holes in them!
Dan: Don't worry brother.
Dan raises his hand and Niko's SPAS-12 disappears. Niko throws a grenade against the wall where Dan is. Dan is blown up and falls out the top story window. Sam raises his testicles and Niko's pack of grenades disappears. This happens multiple times until Sam makes all of Niko's weapons disappear except for his Combat Pistol.
1. Niko's desk is shot down by Sam and his minigun he popped up.
2. Niko's crosshair meets Sam's head and Niko fires.
3. Dan is thrown into the room from the window and tackles Niko to the ground.
4. Niko realizes what would happen if he killed Sam Houser. So he either kills himself, or kills Sam Houser, ending GTA.
Posted 04 February 2013 - 01:00 AM
|QUOTE (The_Anti-tragedy @ Sunday, Feb 3 2013, 13:40)|
|4. Niko realizes what would happen if he killed Sam Houser. So he kills Sam Houser, ending GTA.|
Niko: You should have thought about delaying GTA V, Sam.
Sam: Goddammit Niko! I brought you into this world! Why would you do this?
Niko stares into the eyes of Sam Houser.
Niko: Because I fugured out YOU were the one who betrayed us in the Red Army!!
Before Sam get's his answer, Niko fires his gun and implodes the skull of Sam Houser. It was then that everything stopped.
Niko: What the hell?
A booming voice broadcasted itself around frozen Niko
Voice: NIKO BELLIC!!! YOU HAVE SLAIN YOUR CREATOR!!! YOU HAVE EFFECTIVELY ENDED YOUR GAME AND ANY CHAIN STORY MADE FROM IT!!! YOU WILL NOW BE FOREVER BANISHED TO THE REALM IN WHICH GAME CHARACTERS ENDED THEIR OWN GAMES!!
There is a blinding light as Niko is transferred to an empty black void with no where to go.
Niko sat in silence reliving the final moments of his game, imagining if there could ever have been any other way to go. He though of three ways, but nothing more. Niko gazed into the black void, wishing there had been another way.
And that is where it ends.
OR DOES IT?
1. Niko builds a DeLorean from Back to the Future to go and fix time
2. The voice gives Niko one last chance to fix the future
3. Axl Rose motivates Niko to re create his world using a real-life form of Garry's Mod
4. Roman phones Niko to go bowling, and Niko realizes he still is in GTA IV
5. The Lost build a time machine of their own and battle Niko to save their game
6. Nothing. the story really does end
Posted 04 February 2013 - 01:28 AM
(Niko) Roman? I thought our world ended
(Roman) No, after I turn back into a normal man you started to flip out
(Niko) So your saying that the last two post and that one little bit of you telling me that Rockstar delayed GTA V were all a dream
(Roman) Yeah that be true, but They really did delayed the game
(Niko) Ok, I'm going to Ignor that because in my dream I when to the Main office and killed the houser brothers and our world ended, but what ever I'll go bowling with you
(Roman) Stay where you are I'll pick you up
10 minutes later Roman shows up in a...
What does roman show up in???
Posted 04 February 2013 - 01:34 AM
|QUOTE (billy james @ Monday, Feb 4 2013, 01:28)|
Roman: Hello COusIn (DRUNK)
Niko: Uhh hi Roman, Nice car?
Niko shoots a cop and pulls out cell phone
Niko: N--NO!! WHERE ARE MY CHEATS?
Roman: This is the real WORLD cousin
Niko: Ok can we find our safehouse then?
Roman: Its not ours probably maybe we cant even find it.
1. Niko and Roman Look for their safe house
2. They stick a screw driver in PC and go back the video game dimension
2.5. Bring Back friends and everybody from the GTA world
3. Go to the superbowl
Posted 04 February 2013 - 07:59 AM
(Niko) Roman, why are we here
(Roman) To watch the Super Bowl
(Niko) Well this doesn't interest me I'm out of here
Niko leave and goes back to Liberty to see what Mayor Crane and Deputy Mayor Amir, when he gets there he sees that Bernie is head down in a f*ck load of paper work and Yusuf is trying to figure out where to put the Weapons of Famous Movies and Games
(Niko) Well I can see your bussy, I'm out of here
Where does Niko go
1) Maisonette 9
3) Dragon Heart Plaza
4) Middle Park
5) Rockstar offices
Posted 04 February 2013 - 10:13 AM
|QUOTE (billy james @ Monday, Feb 4 2013, 07:59)|
| 2) Home|
Niko opens his door and takes off his shoes but...
Niko: What the hell!?
Niko sees lots of real-life celebrities partying at his penthouse.
Matt Damon: Hey Brad, who is this peasant?
Brad Pitt: I don't know. Could be a friend of Crowe, cuz it's his house and his party.
Niko: What!? Russell Crowe owns my house.
Later, Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Lopez and Paris Hilton are seen tossing out their noses up the coke and kissing through the tongue. Meanwhile Kanye West, Ray J and Kim Kardashian are having group on Crowe's couch. Also Salma Hayek is seen doing pole dance. Mel Gibson is seen squishing his nipples mteanwhile David Beckham and Cristiano Ronaldo are playing PES 2013 throughout Russell Crowe's PlayStation. Then, Russell Crowe gets out the kitchen with a glass of whiskey in his hand.
Russell Crowe: Do I know you, sir? Uhh, screw that. Just do whateva you want.
Niko: I'm getting out of here.
Niko rushes out of the penthouse, meanwhile he's walking down the street, he encounters with Dwayne.
Niko: Hey, Dwayne. What's up?
Dwayne: I'm cool, homeboy but you look like worried.
Niko: Don't you recognize? F*cking celebrities having party in my house, no cheats or some f*cking sh*t.
Dwayne: That's weird, mate. This must be resulted from a orderliness in the universe.
Niko: You're a f*cking Morpheus, Dwayne. Just tell me how I can make it right.
Dwayne: You must find Keanu Reeves, the provider of the universe.
Niko: Not that sh*t again.
Dwayne: I was joking. I'm a Buddhist-Reevisist but I'm joking. Let's get some beers now. After we do meditation and see what we'll do about it.
Niko and Dwayne steals a Buccaneer down the street and drives to a local bar in Broker.
What happens next?
1. They recognizes the closed area ban which makes smoking in closed areas illegal.
2. Two real-life cops are seen eating donut at the table opposite of Niko and Dwayne's table.
3. A man who resembles Packie gets into a fight but when Niko and Dwayne look him closely they recognize it's Ryan Johnston, the voicer of Packie.
4. Niko and Dwayne see Rockstar North employee Leslie Benzies drinking in the bar.
Posted 04 February 2013 - 08:30 PM
|QUOTE (MarijuanaMonkey @ Monday, Feb 4 2013, 10:13)|
|4. Niko and Dwayne see Rockstar North employee Leslie Benzies drinking in the bar.|
Dwayne: Holy sh*t, that's Leslie Benzies.
Niko: Who? Oh yeah, Rockstar employee.
Dwayne: Let's try to get him to buy us drinks.
Niko and Dwayne go walk towards Leslie talking with Sam Houser.
Leslie: Why did you guys delay V to September though, I never really got that?
Sam: Well the fanbase is full of bitches and trolls thinking we would release trailer 3 a week after trailer 2. So we wanted to delay it to hit them where it hurts.
Niko: I knew those months couldn't be just polishing the game.
Niko and Dwayne are hiding behind Leslie's seat. Then they go in front of Leslie and Sam's table.
Sam: Niko, my finest creation that once killed me, how are you?
Niko: Good, listen... me and Dwayne here had forgotten to bring any money to the bar. Can we borrow some of you guys' money?
Sam snaps his fingers and there's an awkward silence.
Dwayne: Where's your money?
Sam: I just made money appear in your pockets.
Niko: Thanks man.
Sam: Don't think I forgot that you killed me last year in 2012.
Sam snaps his fingers and three angry piranhas appear in Niko's pockets. Niko dances around to Benny Hill music and Dwayne thanks Sam for the money.
1. Niko throws a piranha into Sam's face by accident.
2. Leslie and Sam make a pile of money appear on the table. They take it and run outside.
3. Dwayne goes to the counter to get two drinks but Sam makes his money disappear.
4. Niko's pants are now chopped up and he blindly throws it into a salad bowl.
5. The piranhas go into a man's drink and they reproduce, making a huge amount of fish.
Posted 04 February 2013 - 11:25 PM
"Opps" Niko says in a small voice.
"AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!" Sam says in his loudest voice possible.
"Uh oh! sh*t! Dwayne, run!!" Niko yells toward Dwayne.
*Niko and Dwayne jimmy the lock of a Rolls Royce Phantom parked outside the bar and speed off, one mile later, the engine is disabled by remote and Niko and Dwayne are locked inside. Police sirens are heard behind them.*
"sh*t, Dwayne, What's going on?" asks Niko.
"I don't know man...I don't know." replies Dwayne.
*Niko and Dwayne are pulled out of the car by two police officers and are handcuffed.*
"What is this sh*t?" Niko complains.
"It's called a bait car, tough guy." replies the police officer.
What happens next?
1. Niko and Dwayne are arrested for the next ten pages, and we follow a character of your choice.
2. Niko decides to instead resist arrest, grabbing for the police officer's pistol, while shooting the police officer in the belly button in the process. Immediately, after trying to aim at the other police officer while handcuffed, Niko is killed. he respawns in a real life hospital(He is stuck there for 2 pages; Dwayne has escaped from the police officer, we follow him.).
3. Niko and Dwayne escape the grips of the police officers, hopping into their police cruiser. A Smokey and The Bandit type pursuit insures, with Niko and Dwayne being cornered by police at Los Santos on Grove Street.
Posted 04 February 2013 - 11:49 PM
(Yusuf) Hey Bernie, where Niko
(Bernie) He got arrested
(Yusuf) Can't you do something your the mayor aren't you
(Bernie) I may be the mayor but I can't do that
(Yusuf) Well I'm breaking him out
Yusuf gets in his banana car and heads the Heli-port on the west river and gets in his new and improved Buzzard with 4 seats and then flys to the Prison and busts out Niko and Dwayne and then head back to the heli-port
(Niko) Thank you Yusuf
(Yusuf) Your Welcome
What do they do next???
1) Head back to City Hall
2) Get something to eat
3) Lay low because the cop are still on there asses
4) Scuba dive
Posted 05 February 2013 - 01:23 PM
|QUOTE (billy james @ Monday, Feb 4 2013, 23:49)|
| 2) Get something to eat|
Yusuf: Hey, man. I'm starving. Let's go eat something.
Niko: I guess we would eat Cluckin' Bell.
Yusuf: No, nigga. That's the way we always do. I know a recent taco restaurant in Algonquin. Let's go there.
Yusuf and Niko drives to Little Italy, Algonquin. Niko realizes that this is the place once Drusilla's was.
Niko: Pendejo Taco? But this was Drusilla's once upon a time.
Yusuf: Yeah. Don't you know? All Italian families got taken over by Mexican drug baron Alfonso Vasquez. Whatever, they make good tacos down there.
Niko and Yusuf eat their tacos and later:
Niko: Sh*t, man! I gotta pee. Can you wait over here?
Yusuf: No problem, nigga. Go quick.
Niko goes to bathroom, opens a toilet cabin, guess what he witnesses there:
1. A Mexican drug dealer selling meth to a teenager highschool girl.
2. A Keanu Reeves statue made of crap.
3. Bernie having sex with Antonio Banderas.
4. Piranha that attacked Niko two posts ago flushes out of the closet.
5. An annoying Mexican rapper sh*tting and singing an awful rap song.
Edited by MarijuanaMonkey, 05 February 2013 - 05:18 PM.
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