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My Chain Story

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  • ArmyRaidFail404

    Banana Republic without the Bananas

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Posted A week ago Edited by ArmyRaidFail404, A week ago.

3)Cut to Niko and Alessa getting back to his penthouse.
Niko and Alessa were in a brown Schafter heading back to Niko's penthouse. The path took them along a view where they could clearly see smoke rushing from an area that used to be owned by Playboy X - Niko, slightly stunned but also slightly dulled by the recent series of weird events in his life - turned to Alessa for some clarification.
Niko: Hey, you wouldn't happen to know why at this point half the district looks like its been turned to rubble, would you?
Alessa: No. What makes you say that?
Niko: I don't know. Something to do with the future...
Alessa: Lesson number deux, I can't give you too much information. And also, I wasn't even here when whatever happened.
Niko: But surely you know? I mean, after you get rescued or whatever happens?
Alessa: Oh yeah. Playboy tried to blow up your friends.
Niko: ....You know what? I'm not even f*cking surprised.
Niko turned on the radio to a Weazel News Broadcast. The news reporter seemed very frightened.
Reporter: Motherf*cker! This arab c*nt just crashed a helicopter and now his Dominican suicide bomber is threatening to blow up the city.
Host: Oh jeez. Wow. That's very colourful. You realise we have children on this show, asshole?
Niko had to turn down the volume at the last bit.
Niko: And you didn't feel the need to mention this?
Alessa: Apparently that was supposed to be Luis and Yusef.
Niko: ...I'm still not impressed...
Suddenly two familiar names were uttered on the radio.
Host: Alright we have with us on the issue acting mayor Roman Bellic and Jenny something of the Equal Rights Group. Who cares about her last name cause she's a woman or something. (AN: I forgot her last name. Does she have one?)
Niko: Umm what?
Host: We'll start with you, Mr Mayor.
Roman: All I have to say is, F*cking Terrorists.
Host: What?
Roman: Terrorists, so what if there is a big scare? As long they don't attack our great bowling facilities.
Host: Hmmm, OK. How exactly are you mayor again?
Roman: Ah yeah. Bernie ran away. Said he couldn't deal with this sh*t again and he didn't want his alter ego to turn up or something. Who knows with that guy?
Host: Well we've certainly had worse to lead us through this catastrophe. Now, Jenny, what the f*ck is happening?
Jenny: The f*ck is that these POCs have had enough of your oppressive rule-
Host: Sorry, the transmission cut out or something. It wasn't deliberate.
Niko turned off the radio.
Niko: ....OK. Now I'm a bit concerned.
Alessa: What do you want to do?
Niko: What should I do?
Alessa: I can't tell you. It's a critical moment.
Niko: ...
Alessa: Basically the history isn't written up to this point. If I tell you to do something it would likely replace the univers-
Niko: OK. You just didn't want to answer the question. I guess we...
A] See what the hell Roman is up to.
B] Continue with our chicken date.
C] Get the f*ck out of town.
D] Try to find Luis.
E] Try to find Yeager.

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