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Grand Theft Auto: Family Ties

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Money Over Bullshit
  • Money Over Bullshit

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#421

Posted 16 November 2012 - 12:44 AM

QUOTE (Official General @ Thursday, Nov 8 2012, 15:21)
F**king AMAZING!!!! icon14.gif

Thanks man icon14.gif

I've added a post mission phonecall to the end of the last chapter which leads into the next one. I'm gonna try and write up a summary of the story so far soon and put it on the first page for ease of reading but other than that I probably won't be posting anything further story wise until the new year because I simply don't have the time. Hopefully by then this section (and this topic in particular) will be getting some more visitors, if not though I think I'll just persevere regardless.

Peck R. Wood
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#422

Posted 31 January 2013 - 10:58 PM Edited by boschram, 01 February 2013 - 01:27 AM.

Good job.
Few advices to make the presentation even better:

- replace the pics of actors and fake mobsters posing though with surveillance pictures/mugshots of real and contemporary wiseguys.
Few examples here , here , here and here , you can find tons more online.

- make it less narrative and more "Indictment"-like. You can see what I mean by reading this from a recent mob investigation.

I've got nothing to say on the gameplay aspects, very well done...just hope that some will
appear in V.

Peck R. Wood
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#423

Posted 01 February 2013 - 10:07 AM

Oh, one more thing: there's no way that Italian immigrant parents would name their son Harvey. I reckon that R* made him of an older Italian descent, like third or fourth generation.
It could also be a nickname or an Americanisation...

Money Over Bullshit
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#424

Posted 01 February 2013 - 04:45 PM

QUOTE (boschram @ Thursday, Jan 31 2013, 23:58)
Good job.
Few advices to make the presentation even better:

- replace the pics of actors and fake mobsters posing though with surveillance pictures/mugshots of real and contemporary wiseguys.
Few examples here , here , here and here , you can find tons more online.

- make it less narrative and more "Indictment"-like. You can see what I mean by reading this from a recent mob investigation.

I've got nothing to say on the gameplay aspects, very well done...just hope that some will
appear in V.

Thanks for the feedback and the suggestions. First of all regarding the use of actors rather than real life mobsters.. GTA is a work of fiction and the characters have always been played by actors so this concept is no different. All of the characters are based on real life mobsters, wether it be just one or a number of them. When I thought of what kind of look I thought the characters should have those actors immediately sprung to mind.. not to mention how much easier it is to use actors than to find real life mobsters who fit the bill.

When I started this concept I wanted it to read like a playable movie, hence the script like narrative style in the chapters.. this was something that I thought worked really well initially so I've just kind of stuck to that. Although having them read more like an indictment is a good idea it wouldn't really make sense to go back and change the existing chapters or continue on in that fashion given that the previous chapters have a different style. I had an idea a while back that I wanted to add some suplimentary reading to this topic in the form of FIB files which fleshed out the events of the story and gave some details on what was happening in LC La Cosa Nostra outside of it.

You do make a guide point about Harvey Noto though and I have taken it on board and made a slight change to rectify the implausability of him being second generation sicilian and having such a name.

On a side note I'm gonna try and start getting back into writing for this topic so anybody who's interested can look forward to seeing more soon.

Peck R. Wood
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#425

Posted 01 February 2013 - 10:54 PM

Understood.
Keep on with the great work.

Money Over Bullshit
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#426

Posted 04 March 2013 - 06:13 PM Edited by Money Over Bullshit, 3 weeks ago.

Chapter 11 - Waste Management

 

Part 1 - "Straight Down to Business"



Carlo makes his way to Opium Nights and heads straight for the reception area and ask where he can find Mr. Hall. The receptionist will tell him "He's in there eating breakfast sir" pointing to a large dining area which is situated just past the desk. Carlo walks into the busy dining room and spots Harry sitting bang smack in the middle gorging on a full breakfast buffet wearing a suit that looks like he had been wearing it since the night before. Carlo will then approach the table and wait a few seconds for Harry to lift his head from his breakfast and realise he's there.

Harry (noticing Carlo standing by the table): "Ah Carlo, have a seat"

Carlo will oblige

Harry (Pointing at the buffet on the table): "And uh.. help yourself"

Carlo waves his hand to decline the offer

Harry: "Alright then.. let's get straight down to business"

Harry beckons the waiter over to take away his plate but stops him short of taking his coffee cup

Harry: "First of all allow me to apologise for calling you here so early but this little assignment comes with some time constraints"

Carlo (somewhat sarcastically): "Are you kidding? This is late for me"

Harry, mouth full of food wags his finger in a complimentary manner as if to say "good one" and then continues to speak about the job "..so here's the deal.. a few weeks back the Ancelottis received a big pay off from the Liberty Sanitation Department as part of a deal for their unions to pick up the garbage all over the city in their trucks. The problem is that this new deal also includes pick ups across the river in Alderney, routes which used to belong to the Pegorinos. The news get's back to Ray Boccino – the Pegorino's man with the LSD in Algonquin and from what I hear the guy goes f*cking ape sh*t.. I mean I don't know what was said but let's just say he wasn't happy. So rumour has it he has some of my fellow countrymen break into the Ancelottis' waste management plant and steal the f*cking pay off haha"

Carlo: "And the Ancelottis found out about it right?"

Harry: "Well ya see here's the thing.. they don't know for sure if it was them but they have a pretty good idea.. on account of the Pegorinos being burned on the deal an all. Even so this thing at the waste management plant has sparked off a bit of conflict between the two sides. Up until now though it's been little more than a war of words. But I'm thinking with a bit of a push we can turn this minor conflict in to a full blown war.. and then move in and pick up some of the shattered pieces for ourselves.

Carlo: "You mean like taking over the routes?"

Harry: "Not all of them.. just the ones on this side of the river. I'm thinking we might be able to strike up a deal with the Pegorinos to take back the rest"

Carlo: "Ok so how do you propose to make it all kick off?"

Harry: "Nothing quite makes a statement about one's desire for war like a truck going boom in broad daylight.. so I'm thinking three of them is really gonna drive the point home. There should be about five Ancelotti owned garbage trucks doing the rounds in the city. Pick any three and blow them up before they reach the depot in Fishmarket South. There's a car parked outside with some supplies in the back.. do this for me and you wont regret it"

Carlo: "Alright Harry.. consider it done"

Carlo gets up from the table and begins to walk away before turning back "so how will you know if works?"

Harry: "I'll be watching the news"

You will now find yourself outside the hotel with a dark coloured Oracle parked up in front of you. Entering the vehicle will reward you with ten pipe bombs and several red dots will show up on your radar indicating the locations of each of the Thrashmasters. Two of the trucks will start off in Algonquin, one in Bohan and another two in Broker/Dukes. As you proceed you must be somewhat selective in chose exactly where you blow up the trucks since police presence on the streets will be extra heavy and blowing up one of them in close to a police car will earn you a two star wanted level, doing this more than once could make your job quite difficult. Once you have blown up three of the trucks your mission will end and you will receive a monetary reward for your work.
 

Click Here For Part 2


Claude4Catalina
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#427

Posted 08 March 2013 - 07:46 PM

classic GTA formula but executed very well. The addition of wanted levels adds to the challenge, I like it. Nice work man, be great to see some more!

Money Over Bullshit
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#428

Posted 08 March 2013 - 08:01 PM

QUOTE (Claude4Catalina @ Friday, Mar 8 2013, 20:46)
classic GTA formula but executed very well. The addition of wanted levels adds to the challenge, I like it. Nice work man, be great to see some more!

I have half of the next part written and I should be able to write the following part fairly quickly so there shouldn't be too much of a delay on me closing out this chapter and it should be done by the end of next week. Chapter 12 is quite a big one and I'm not sure exactly how it's gonna pan out so it may take me a while to post it. I'm gonna try and keep all future chapters quite brief so they will probably have quite a similar format to the mission I just posted.

Money Over Bullshit
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#429

Posted 13 March 2013 - 12:06 AM Edited by Money Over Bullshit, 3 weeks ago.

Chapter 11

 

Part 2 - "What Now?"



Carlo will once again make his way to the Opium Nights hotel. This time to Harry's luxurious Penthouse Suite wherein he will find Harry sitting at his desk conversing with Benny who you met on the Jewellery store robbery. Harry will stand up and greet Carlo with open arms as he approaches pulling him in with one hand and giving him an awkward fatherly hug.

Harry: "First of all let me congratulate you on a job well done.. I found the evening news the other day to be particularly entertaining."

Carlo: "I'm sure you did"

Harry (laughs): "The Pegorinos and the Ancelottis are at each other's throats, the Ancelotti's drivers are refusing to work their routes and the LSD have accepted our kind offer to take them over until this whole mess has been sorted out"

Carlo: "Then all is good right?"

Harry: "Well not exactly... we've got another problem"

Carlo: "Oh?"

Harry: "Ya see the Ancelottis they also control the union that looks after the guys who work at the city dump and they're not accepting loads from anyone who don't work for the Ancelottis"

Carlo: "Ok, so what now?"

Harry: "Well it just so happens that the head of that union – a guy named Seamus O'Reilly is yet another one of my fellow countrymen so I offer to take him into the city and treat him to a couple of beers.. hash this thing out like men but he decides he's gonna play the tough guy and tell me to go f*ck myself.. so now we're gonna have to do things the hard way. Take Benny D here and catch the Ferry to Richmond Island and go change this cocksucker's mind.. by any means necessary. I can't afford for this sh*t to go on any longer"

Carlo and Benny will walk outside and jack a vehicle and a dot will show up on your radar indicating the nearest dock for the Richmond Island Ferry located at Pier 45. On the way over there Carlo and Benny will discuss their last job together and Carlo will ask about Fredo. Benny will say that he's been keeping a low profile since the drug busts at the Pizza Parlour and Carlo will ask if he knows who was behind it. Benny will tell him that everybody kind of suspects everybody else but that he's heard some talk that Mark might be a rat however stating that everybody is afraid to confront him about it due to the incident wherein he cut out the guy's tongue (which he will briefly explain). Carlo will be quite suprised at the allegation but will also state that he doesn't know Mark well enough to make a judgement.

Once the two men reach Pier 45 they will board the Ferry and you will be treated to a cutscene of it sailing across the river to Richmond Island (which had previously been off limits to the player). When you emerge outside the St. John's Ferry Terminal on the Island Benny will tell Carlo that they will need to hijack a Thrashmaster if they're to have any chance of gaining entry to the Dump. Once you have successfully jacked a Thrashmaster Carlo will get behind the wheel and your destination will show up on the map. When you reach the dump Carlo will pull up to the entrance and notice that the front gate is closed.

Benny: "What the f*ck is this?"

Carlo: "Looks like a gate"

Benny: "I know it's a gate, I mean why is it closed?"

Carlo: "Harry did say that they weren't accepting anything from anybody other than the Ancelotti's guys"

Benny notices a security guard in a nearby booth and calls out to him "Hey you! Yeah you.. come here for a minute"

The guard will walk over to the passenger side of the truck

Benny: "Open up this gate so we can drop off our load"

Guard: "I'm sorry sir, we're not accepting loads from anybody who doesn't work for the Ancelottis"

Benny: "Oh yeah? And how do you know we don't work for the Ancelottis?"

Guard: "Cause the Ancelotti's guys have special IDs"

Benny turns to Carlo sarcastically "Oh the Ancelottis have special IDs.."

He then pulls out a pistol and points it at the guard's head through the open window "Here's my ID right here"

Guard: "Hey don't shoot the messenger pal"

Benny: "If you don't open this gate I'm gonna shoot everybody.. how about that!?"

The guard backs up towards the booth and says "Ok buddy, whatever you say" before opening the gate electronically and letting the two men into the dump. As the truck drives into the compound the camera will pan backwards to show the security guard picking up the phone and making a call to somebody, unbeknownst to Benny and Carlo. Once you have gained access to the Dump you will be instructed to head towards a prefab in the corner of the compound in order to look for Mr. O'Reilly.

You will enter the prefab with Benny and find the target making himself some coffee with his back turned to you. Benny will reach for the pistol stashed in his pants intending to stick it to the guys head in order to scare him into following his orders but this plan will be foiled by the door slamming loudly behind him, causing O'Reilly to turn around.

O'Reilly: "Hey, who the f*ck are you guys!?"

Benny: "We're here on behalf of the Messina's and.."

O'Reilly: "I don't give a good f*ck who you're with, you shouldn't be here.. now get out!"

Benny: "Well we was kind of hoping we might be able to persuade you to end your exclusive agreement with the Ancelottis.. so how about you hear us out here eh"

O'Reilly: "Or what? You're gonna shoot me is that it?"

Carlo: "I think you better listen to him"

O'Reilly: "What the f*ck is this? Good Wop/Bad Wop? Get the f*ck outta here"

Benny clearly angered by the comment will charge towards O'Reilly pushing him up against the wall with a gun to his head "Listen to me you piece of sh*t, we're not the type of guys that you f*ck with"

O'Reilly: "I f*ck with the Ancelottis and nobody else"

Benny: "Well then I guess it's time to expand your circle of friends"

O'Reilly: "Nuh uh I've already been shaken down by one family of greaseballs, I'm not about to be shaken down by another"
He then picks up his cup of coffee from the nearby counter shouting "f*ck you" and smashes it across Benny's face, knocking him back.

Carlo will rush to Benny's side and ask if he's ok but he will simply shake off the blow pushing Carlo away and charge at O'Reilly once again and begin pistol whipping him with the butt of his gun. O'Reilly will stumble hunched over towards the sink and pick up a large kitchen knife from the draining board slicing at Benny's throat with a backhand motion, only barely missing his jugular as he moves out of the way. O'Reilly will try again in vain to end Benny's life wildly slashing at him with the knife. Backed into a corner Benny will draw his gun and attempt to take a potshot at the manic union boss as Carlo covers his ears anticipating the deafening echo of a gunshot in such a confined space. To Benny's dismay however the pistol will jam. Laughing at the situation and not even realising he just had a lucky escape O'Reilly will stare him down menacingly brandishing the knife and ask "what now motherf*cker?". Carlo will stand there poised to take him down.

Benny, thinking on his feet will pick up the freshly brewed coffee pot throwing the scalding hot java juice right into the Irishman's eyes. Reeling from the burning pain O'Reilly will let out a cry "Aaaaagghh!! My eyes.. you son of a bitch!!". Seizing his opportunity Benny will rush O'Reilly spinning him around so that he's bent backwards over the counter beside the sink and thrust his forearm into his throat in order to pin him down. He will then use his other hand to bash O'Reilly's arm off the counter in order to cause him to release his grip on the knife, which will fly across the room and land beside Carlo who will then kick it under a nearby table. Benny will then switch on the garbage disposal mechanism in the sink and begin to force O'Reilly's knifeless hand towards the spinning blades. "End your deal with the Ancelottis or your gonna have an unfortunate yet ironic accident involving your arm and this here garbage disposal" Benny will threaten. "You wouldn't" O'Reilly will testingly reply. Benny will push his arm even closer to the rapidly churning blades "Wouldn't I?". At this point O'Reilly will finally relent "Ok, whatever you guys want! Just please leave me alone". Benny will smile at his victory "All you had to do was accept" he will tell the battered and broken down union boss before turning to Carlo "I think our work here is done".

As the two men exit the prefab they will notice several Cavalcades coming through the compound's front gate. Carlo will turn to his partner surmising "It must be the Ancelottis". Benny will cock the slide on his pistol releasing the jammed bullet "Looks like we aint quite done here afterall".

At this point you will be engaged in a firefight with several waves of Ancelotti goons armed with Assault rifles and SMGs. Once three of these waves have been taken care of the two men will advance towards the exit with Benny stopping briefly to pick up one of the dead Gangster's SMGs as he passes. You will then be instructed to find a vehicle and make your way to nearby Port Norfolk where Benny says you will find a boat to take the two of you back to the city. On your way there you will be pursued by even more Ancelottis. Once you have reached your destination you can either stop and take out your pursuers or you can get in a docked speedboat immediately in which case they will take another boat and continue to pursue you. When you have either shaken or killed your pursuers with Benny's help you will be given a new destination to head for in Castle Gardens, Algonquin. Once you have reached this destination Benny will hail a cab and tell Carlo that it's better if they split up since the police will be looking for them. You are now free to do as you please.


Richmond Island is now open for the player to explore

 

Click Here For Part 3


Claude4Catalina
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#430

Posted 13 March 2013 - 07:14 PM

good wop/bad wop...genius.

another great mission mate, I now see the value in using character images within the script; really helps the imagery of this thread. I really imagined this mission happening; good work man!

orbitalraindrops
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#431

Posted 13 March 2013 - 08:36 PM

Just discovered this. Will have to properly give it a read at some point.
Andriy Maxinmov (However its spelt) is in GTA IV in one of the Lib Tree articles right as one of the guys bringing in coke for Rascalov. Lovely little throwback there. I love little references like that. I'm not so keen on using actors photos for the characters. Would've preferred to use in game peds but that's just me and you get more of a range with different rl actors etc.

Tyla
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#432

Posted 14 March 2013 - 12:03 PM

I loved how fast and far Carlo and Benny's encounter with O'Reilly escalated. That was brilliant and I didn't know how it was gonna end. Only part of that last mission I didn't like was the shootout with the waves of Ancelotti's in their Cavalcades at the end. It reminded me so much of the unnecessary Messina goons that would come at you at the end of Practice Swing in BOGT from out of nowhere.

Looking forward to Chapter 12 when it comes. How far into Family Ties are we now?

Money Over Bullshit
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#433

Posted 14 March 2013 - 06:52 PM

Thanks a lot for your comments guys, much appreciated icon14.gif

@C4C: Hopefully it doesn't seem like I just stuck in the character images to prove my point to you, because that certainly wasn't my intention smile.gif

I did try to be more descriptive in my writing this time around and move a bit away from the scripted format of previous chapters.. glad to hear it worked.

@orbitalraindrops: It would've been really difficult to find in game models for all of the characters and when I think of what the characters look like the ones I have used are pretty much the faces I see. If you're planning on reading through the entire story I'd wait until I've posted the plot summary (which is coming after the current chapter is over) because to be totally honest with you the lenght of some of the chapters will probably put you off reading them in their entirety.

@Tyla: Nice to see you've come back from your two month hiatus to leave me a comment colgate.gif
The similarity between the shootout at the end of the mission and the one at the end of Pratice swing was somewhat intentional.. kind of an eye for an eye sort of thing. Chronologically the shootout at the dump would come before the retaliation attack at the golf course so it kind of gives a bit of meaning to the number of Messinas in Practice Swing aswell as demonstrating how angry the Ancelottis are at the Messina's audacity in muscling in on their racket (demonstrated by how many men they're willing to throw at it).

To answer your question, there will be 19 chapters overall so there's 7 more chapters (a total of 21 missions/parts) to go. This may seem like a lot but I've kind of being taking my time with this topic. It will probably be nearly it's third year in production before it's finally finished but there are quite a few more important things going on in my life.. otherwise I probably could have knocked it out in just two biggrin.gif

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#434

Posted 17 March 2013 - 07:01 AM

QUOTE (Money Over Bullsh*t @ Thursday, Mar 14 2013, 18:52)
@Tyla: Nice to see you've come back from your two month hiatus to leave me a comment  colgate.gif
The similarity between the shootout at the end of the mission and the one at the end of Pratice swing was somewhat intentional.. kind of an eye for an eye sort of thing. Chronologically the shootout at the dump would come before the retaliation attack at the golf course so it kind of gives a bit of meaning to the number of Messinas in Practice Swing aswell as demonstrating how angry the Ancelottis are at the Messina's audacity in muscling in on their racket (demonstrated by how many men they're willing to throw at it).

To answer your question, there will be 19 chapters overall so there's 7 more chapters (a total of 21 missions/parts) to go. This may seem like a lot but I've kind of being taking my time with this topic. It will probably be nearly it's third year in production before it's finally finished but there are quite a few more important things going on in my life.. otherwise I probably could have knocked it out in just two  biggrin.gif

More like two years, no? moto_whistle.gif
Anyway, I'm seeing how and why the ending of last mission played out like it did. Forgive me, I'm not used to events in BOGT having much reason behind them. Can't believe there are still 21 missions left to go. This concept is HUGE.

Money Over Bullshit
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#435

Posted 17 March 2013 - 02:25 PM Edited by Money Over Bullshit, 19 March 2013 - 06:31 PM.

QUOTE (Tyla @ Sunday, Mar 17 2013, 08:01)
QUOTE (Money Over Bullsh*t @ Thursday, Mar 14 2013, 18:52)
@Tyla: Nice to see you've come back from your two month hiatus to leave me a comment  colgate.gif
The similarity between the shootout at the end of the mission and the one at the end of Pratice swing was somewhat intentional.. kind of an eye for an eye sort of thing. Chronologically the shootout at the dump would come before the retaliation attack at the golf course so it kind of gives a bit of meaning to the number of Messinas in Practice Swing aswell as demonstrating how angry the Ancelottis are at the Messina's audacity in muscling in on their racket (demonstrated by how many men they're willing to throw at it).

To answer your question, there will be 19 chapters overall so there's 7 more chapters (a total of 21 missions/parts) to go. This may seem like a lot but I've kind of being taking my time with this topic. It will probably be nearly it's third year in production before it's finally finished but there are quite a few more important things going on in my life.. otherwise I probably could have knocked it out in just two  biggrin.gif

More like two years, no? moto_whistle.gif
Anyway, I'm seeing how and why the ending of last mission played out like it did. Forgive me, I'm not used to events in BOGT having much reason behind them. Can't believe there are still 21 missions left to go. This concept is HUGE.

Yes it is quite big actually I had originally only planned on making about ten chapters but that would have meant that some of the characters identified on page one would have to be left out. I should have the next part of the story finished a little bit later today. Then its off out to celebrate St. Patricks day!! colgate.gif

EDIT: Next installment posted below smile.gif

Money Over Bullshit
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#436

Posted 19 March 2013 - 06:24 PM Edited by Money Over Bullshit, 3 weeks ago.

Chapter 11

 

Part 3 - "Consider It Done"

 

A couple of days will pass and Carlo will receive a text from Jimmy saying that the boss wants to see him so he should swing by the restaurant (where he first met with him and Bobby) and wear something nice.

Carlo will head over to the restaurant to find it closed. He will take a quick peek through the window looking for signs of life and then knock on the door. After a couple of moments it will be opened by Bobby who will let him inside.

Bobby: "Hey Carlo, good to see you again"

Carlo: "You too Bobby"

Bobby: "Go right inside they're waiting for you"

Carlo: "Thanks man"

Carlo will walk to the the corner of the restaurant to find Jimmy Capra and Harry Hall seated at a table with a man he has not met before who he will soon find out is Harvey Noto. As he approaches Jimmy will stand up and take him by the elbow and guide him towards the table to make the proper introductions "Mr. Noto, this is Carlo Devino, Carlo this is my boss Harvey Noto.. and Harry Hall, who you already know"

Carlo will shake Harvey's hand firmly "How are ya Mr. Noto, it's a pleasure to meet you". Harvey will nod towards Carlo to return the sentiment and then point towards an empty chair opposite him "please have a seat" Carlo will give him a slight courtesy bow and then sit down.

Harvey: "So you're the guy I've been hearing about. Harry here tells me your a man who knows how to get a job done... which is more than I can say for our friend Benny D'Angelo.. I guess some people just don't know how to handle themselves.. Aint that right Jimmy"

Jimmy looks towards the floor in shame

"Now Harry managed to straighten out that little mess he made with the commission and it didn't come cheap, but the Ancelottis still aint happy.. so they want a piece of our rackets in exchange for the garbage routes.. those greasy motherf*ckers! They wouldn't even have their place on the commission if it wasn't for me!!"

Harry: "Ungrateful f*cks"

Harvey: "They thought I'd just roll over like a bitch and let them take what's mine. I told them no f*ckin way and then those motherless f*cks take matters into their own hands and kidnap one of my good friends - a union boss and force him to give up the names of our guys in transport and construction.. next thing I know they have them f*cking executed.. with f*cking explosives!! Can you believe that!?"

Carlo (sensing the irony): "f*cking animals"

Harvey continues speaking "I mean at first I thought our union boss musta been in on it ya know but I've known him a long time.. and he didn't crack easily. He says they tied him to the front of a golf cart and had some f*ckin wet back shoot golf balls at him.. then they held him for f*cking days in a dark basement to make sure he couldn't warn us about the hits"

Harry: "Actually we got wind of it from one of his nephews who saw some Alderney Shore guido bundle him into a car saying how he was gonna 'take him for a round of golf'.. we sent some guys down there but it was too late"

Jimmy: "I heard they had some guys already waiting there.. a f*cking army.. they didn't stand a chance"

Harvey regretfully shakes his head and once again begins to speak "Now old man Ancelotti he's a shoot first, ask questions later kind of guy so I know he didn't come up with this little scheme all by himself. He's got an old union boss who looks after his rackets named Tommy Angelino.. If my suspicions are correct then it was him who put the idea in Giovanni's head. Now I want you to put something in his head.. if you catch my drift"

Carlo nods in understanding "Consider it done"

Harvey shakes Carlo's hand and then addresses the two other men at the table "Now we can't afford a war right now.. it's bad for business. So let this be the end of it ok"

Jimmy and Harry will nod in agreement

Harvey then turns to Carlo "This guy Angelino has an office in Bohan, I had one of my guys call ahead to set up a phony meeting about a building contract. I want you to go along with the facade for a while and wait untill he turns his back then I want you to put two in his head"

Carlo: "Okay"

Harvey will dismiss Carlo telling him "Go see Bobby for a piece on your way out". Carlo will get up from the table and approach Bobby who is still standing by the door "I hear you're the man to see about a piece"

Bobby: "Sure.. I got just the thing right here" (hands Carlo a Snub Nose Revolver)

Carlo (looking at the Revolver): "...they didn't tell me I was going back in time to do the hit"

Bobby: "Joke all you want.. that piece is reliable. It won't jam on ya and it's easy to conceal. Plus it's loaded with 357s so even if your aiming's a little off you'll still blow a chunk out of the back of his skull.. just make sure you don't miss too much cause it don't hold too much in the chamber"

Carlo: "Well alright then.. you want it back when I'm done?"

Bobby: "No, you keep it.. a little something to remember me by"

Carlo: "Haha ok, catch ya later man"

Bobby will wave Carlo off as he exits the restaurant.

Carlo will head over to the office which is located above some shops in Fortside, Bohan and use the intercom to communicate with Angelino who will let him right in. Carlo will head up a flight of stairs and go into the office where he will find Mr. Angelino himself. The two men will talk business for several minutes until Angelino turns his back to fetch some paperwork from a filing cabinet behind his desk, at which point you will be instructed to execute him using the Snub Nose Revolver. Once he is dead you will be instructed to leave the area and this part of the chapter will end.


The Snub Nose Revolver will now be available for purchase from Nino's gun shop


A short time after completing this job Carlo will receive a text message from an unknown number which reads:

Thank you for helping us out with that problem. I've left a little present for you behind the desk at the hotel. HH

After reading this message a waypoint will show up on your map for the Opium Nights hotel.

When Carlo visits the hotel he will go to the front desk and ask the receptionist if there was anything left for him. The guy behind the desk will tell him to wait a moment while he goes and fetches it. He will then return a few seconds later and give Carlo an envelope with his name on it. Carlo will waste no time in opening the envelope and will find that it contains several thousand dollars in cash and a letter which he will quickly open after pocketing the cash. The letter (which will be recited in Harry's voice) will read:

 

Dear Carlo,

Firstly allow me to thank you once again for assisting us in sorting out our union troubles. Unfortunately due to an increased level of scrutiny from the authorities we are unable to offer you any further work with our organisation – hence the somewhat primitive form of communications. With that said, we have heard that our friends in Broker have a little bit of work in the pipeline and we have put your name forward to be part of the action due to your continued service to ourselves and our affiliates. If you would like to take up this work then you should go see a man named Philly who operates from an Italian food wholesalers in Hove Beach.

Best Wishes, your friend

Harold

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#437

Posted 19 March 2013 - 07:25 PM

NOT THE OLD GUY?! :'(

excellent work man, loved the bit by bit referencing towards the mission in BOGT, really made Carlo's world feel disconnected from the details of Luis and Tony's escapades, like its only briefly tied in.

also mate no worries about the character images, it didn't feel like you we're trying to prove a point; however if that was some dastardly ulterior motive, it certainly worked! tounge.gif haha

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#438

Posted 19 March 2013 - 09:27 PM

QUOTE (Claude4Catalina @ Tuesday, Mar 19 2013, 20:25)
NOT THE OLD GUY?! :'(

excellent work man, loved the bit by bit referencing towards the mission in BOGT, really made Carlo's world feel disconnected from the details of Luis and Tony's escapades, like its only briefly tied in.

also mate no worries about the character images, it didn't feel like you we're trying to prove a point; however if that was some dastardly ulterior motive, it certainly worked! tounge.gif haha

He had to go man he was just too much of an old redshirt to be allowed to live biggrin.gif

It honestly wasn't a ploy.. I promise you. I feel the "Union Trouble" story arc from GTA IV/BOGT was one which needed to be shown from the Messina family's perspective.. hopefully I handled it well.

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#439

Posted 20 March 2013 - 06:53 PM

QUOTE (Money Over Bullsh*t @ Tuesday, Mar 19 2013, 21:27)
It honestly wasn't a ploy.. I promise you. I feel the "Union Trouble" story arc from GTA IV/BOGT was one which needed to be shown from the Messina family's perspective.. hopefully I handled it well.

I was just kidding mate tounge.gif but yeah Practise Swing referencing worked really well dialogue wise; by saying "had some f*ckin wet back" and "some Alderney Shore guido" rather than "some club queen's bitch" and "this Ancelotti goombah by name of Rocco" to describe Luis and Rocco worked a lot better, the subtlety of the referencing is what makes it feel like Carlo himself doesn't know who Luis and Rocco are, so he would have no reason to think of them as anything more than a gardener and a Mafia associate respectively.

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#440

Posted 21 March 2013 - 12:04 AM

QUOTE (Claude4Catalina @ Wednesday, Mar 20 2013, 19:53)
QUOTE (Money Over Bullsh*t @ Tuesday, Mar 19 2013, 21:27)
It honestly wasn't a ploy.. I promise you. I feel the "Union Trouble" story arc from GTA IV/BOGT was one which needed to be shown from the Messina family's perspective.. hopefully I handled it well.

I was just kidding mate tounge.gif but yeah Practise Swing referencing worked really well dialogue wise; by saying "had some f*ckin wet back" and "some Alderney Shore guido" rather than "some club queen's bitch" and "this Ancelotti goombah by name of Rocco" to describe Luis and Rocco worked a lot better, the subtlety of the referencing is what makes it feel like Carlo himself doesn't know who Luis and Rocco are, so he would have no reason to think of them as anything more than a gardener and a Mafia associate respectively.

Haha a gardener.. nice biggrin.gif

What did you think of Harvey? I wanted to make him seem honorable, respecting the Mafia rules and calling a halt to the war with the Ancelottis but I fear I may have made him seem like a bit of a soft touch confused.gif

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#441

Posted 21 March 2013 - 07:34 PM

Harvey Noto was another very well written part. Although the 'cutscene' seemed brief, it showed how he is capable of rational though; and showed that you're not willing to tarnish this realism of this concept by making Harvey Noto announce that they are going to the mattresses, I think throwing the player into an all out mob war would water down the concept into another shoot 'em up. I guess I can justify it with AITG because of how it is more about the street than the smoke filled rooms; I'm never really captivated by mob stories (Donnie Brasco however, I enjoyed) but this one really shines through in that the characters are displaying the same business-man like etiquette that you expect, without compromising the story.

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#442

Posted 29 March 2013 - 03:49 PM

QUOTE (Claude4Catalina @ Thursday, Mar 21 2013, 20:34)
Harvey Noto was another very well written part. Although the 'cutscene' seemed brief, it showed how he is capable of rational though; and showed that you're not willing to tarnish this realism of this concept by making Harvey Noto announce that they are going to the mattresses, I think throwing the player into an all out mob war would water down the concept into another shoot 'em up. I guess I can justify it with AITG because of how it is more about the street than the smoke filled rooms; I'm never really captivated by mob stories (Donnie Brasco however, I enjoyed) but this one really shines through in that the characters are displaying the same business-man like etiquette that you expect, without compromising the story.

Thanks man. You don't like mob stories? What about The Two Underbosses?? colgate.gif

Also, I've added a little post mission scenario to the end of part 3 which leads into the next chapter. It will probably be a while before I actually get around to writing it but I just wanted to show people where Carlo is going next.

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#443

Posted 29 March 2013 - 05:53 PM

eh, Two Underbosses was done so I can broaden my horizons on what I can write about. at that time I was writing hood stories like Dealing & Stealing and admittedly they weren't up to scratch so I thought 'f*ck it, might as well go for something a bit different'. I still didn't feel very attached to the characters of Two Underbosses.

the note from Harry was pretty cool man, good use of the tried and tested 'note in the writers voice' device, also a good way of Harry insulating himself from the telephone wiretaps and bugs that Phil Bell was so paranoid about. nice touch there mate.


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#444

Posted 01 April 2013 - 08:35 PM

QUOTE (Claude4Catalina @ Friday, Mar 29 2013, 18:53)
eh, Two Underbosses was done so I can broaden my horizons on what I can write about. at that time I was writing hood stories like Dealing & Stealing and admittedly they weren't up to scratch so I thought 'f*ck it, might as well go for something a bit different'. I still didn't feel very attached to the characters of Two Underbosses.

the note from Harry was pretty cool man, good use of the tried and tested 'note in the writers voice' device, also a good way of Harry insulating himself from the telephone wiretaps and bugs that Phil Bell was so paranoid about. nice touch there mate.

I suppose it all just depends on what your personal preferences are.. I didn't really feel much of a connection to the characters in The Code of The Streets.. this could because they were from the Hood but it could also be because I didn't really explore their personalities that much or rather I didn't have the desire to. Mafiosos have always made great subjects to base compelling stories around so it's easy to get caught up in exploring them to a greater degree I think. Modern cinema and TV probably has a lot to do with it.. in films about the mafia we always see mobsters doing terrible things but we cant help but fall in love with them and root for them when they face prosecution like "so what if he killed 19 people.. I hope he gets off" colgate.gif

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#445

Posted 21 May 2013 - 07:58 PM Edited by Money Over Bullshit, 21 May 2013 - 08:01 PM.

I noticed that a lot of the images on the first page had expired so I've updated them. I've also taken the oppertunity to change Mark Lupisella's actor since I felt that Vincent Curatola (who plays Johnny Sack in the Sopranos) was too well known for that character who is too far removed from the imbecilic 'Loopy'. Curatola will however still be making an appearence as another character Philip "Fat Philly" Narducci in the next chapter. I'm doing exams in college at the moment so that chapter may still be a few weeks off but stay tuned smile.gif

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#446

Posted 18 August 2013 - 09:22 PM Edited by Money Over Bullshit, 3 weeks ago.

Chapter 12 – Il Furto Grande

Part 1 - "Highly Recommended"

 

Carlo will travel to Alazone's Italian Food, a meat market located on the corner of Hove Beach and go inside where he will find a man in his 50s serving a bundle of meat over the counter to an old lady and wishing her a nice day. When the woman has left the store Carlo will approach the counter at which point the assistant who (according to his name tag) is called Alberto will greet him and ask "what can I do you for?" to which Carlo will reply "I'm looking for Philly". When Carlo asks this the man will look at him nervously for a moment before replying "eh.. he's not here". Carlo looking a little confused and disappointed will say "Oh.. it's just that Harry said he'd be here". At this point Alberto will become a little more open "Oh you're Carlo.. why didn't you say so, Philly's in back.. just head straight through the warehouse and into his office". Carlo will thank him and will head through a doorway to the rear right of the counter past several guys unloading frozen livestock from the back of a van and head into Philly's cramped and cluttered office.

When Carlo enters he will find Philly sitting behind his desk wearing a pair of reading glasses studying a small ledger and will knock on the open door in order to catch his attention. Philly will remove his glasses placing them on the desk and stroking the bridge of his nose will say to Carlo "Yes hello", initiating the dialogue between the two men.

Carlo (still standing cautiously in the doorway): "Are you Phil?"

Philly: "Yes. And you are?"

Carlo: "My name is Carlo.. Harry told me to come see you.."

Philly: "Ah yes Carlo, come in.. and eh shut the door would ya"

Carlo will fully enter the office and shut the door quietly behind him

"The Messinas highly recommended you, said you were a man who knows how to get a job done"

Carlo: "So I've been told"

Philly: "Well I'm gonna have to see that for myself aren't I"

Carlo: "I thought you said I came highly recommended"

Philly: "Well you see here's the thing.. If I had've spent my life putting my trust in other people I would've spent a lot more time in the joint. What we're planning here is a high risk operation and I wanna be sure you can be trusted"

Carlo: "..Ok.. what d'you want me to do?"

Philly: "There's a group of spics up in Dukes.. real wannabe tough guys who've been selling a little merchandise for me and I need somebody to go over there and get me my share of the takings"

Carlo: "And that somebody of course would be me"

Philly: "Bingo"

At this point another man will enter, almost knocking Carlo out with the door "You wanted to see me skip?"

Philly: "Yeah.. Nicky this is Carlo, Carlo this is Nicky. You two are going to be riding along together on this one"

Nicky will look at Carlo suspiciously and ask Philly "Who the hell is this guy"

Philly: "He's with the Messina's.. he's gonna be doing a little bit of work for us now"

Nicky: "The Messinas huh.. so what do you want me to do?"

Philly: "I want you to go see our Latino friends in Cerveza Heights.. Carlo here is gonna get me my money and you're gonna watch over him"

Nicky: "Philly.. I can get you the money myself"

Philly: "I thought you'd be happy to let somebody else do the grunt work for a change"

Nicky: "Hey.. I'm happy if you're happy"
(Looking at Carlo) "Lets go"

Philly: "Bring me the money when it's done"

Nicky: "Sure thing Phil"

Carlo and Nicky will leave the warehouse and Nicky will direct him to get into his Oracle which will be parked up on the sidewalk at which point a marker will show up on your radar indicating the whereabouts of Philly's associates. Carlo will attempt to make small talk with Nicky on the ride over there but it will quickly become apparent that Nicky is distrusting of Carlo and doesn't want to talk. After a few minutes of driving he will tell you to pull up outside a heavily graffiti tagged building.

Nicky: "Ok this is the place. I'll wait here while you go take care of business"

Carlo: "You're not coming?"

Nicky: "Philly sent you to do this.. I'm just here to make sure you don't f*ck up... matter of fact had he just asked me to do it you wouldn't even be here so.."

Carlo: "Oh ok just sit tight I'll be back in a minute"

Carlo will enter the facility of the building where several latino gang members will be waiting for him. As he approaches a guy who appears to be the leader will speak up.

Latino: "There he is. He kept us waiting... what a f*cking suprise"

Carlo: "Listen I'm sorry for keeping you guys waiting. Can we just get this over with so we can all go home"

Latino: "Oh you think it's that easy huh? We've been sitting on this money for two f*cking weeks. First your Capo tries to rip us off and now he keeps us waiting for one of his chicos to come pick up his cut"

Carlo: "Listen I don't know anything about that.."

Latino: "I'm talking about that stepped on sh*t! It was cut up so much it wouldn't even get my f*cking dog high"

Carlo: "I don't know anything about that either"

Latino: "Yeah sure you don't... you can have your money... minus ten percent"

Carlo: "Now I don't think that was the deal.. why don't you just give me Philly's full cut and you can all sort it out amongst yourselves"

Latino (drawing a pistol): "How about I put a bullet in your guinea skull holmes and teach you Vatos not to f*ck with me"

(Other Latinos): "Yeah" "Cap his ass holmes"

Carlo: "This has all been a big misunderstanding"

Latino: "f*ck you pendejo, take this!"

The gang members will open fire on Carlo forcing him to fight back. As soon as the shooting starts Nicky will jump behind the wheel of his car and speed off leaving Carlo in the lurch. There will be about five of six lightly armed gang members for you to dispose of. Once they are all dead Carlo must pick up all of the money and bring it back to Alazone's in order to complete this part of the chapter.

 

Click Here for Part 2


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#447

Posted 19 August 2013 - 06:29 PM

I dunno mate, the secret to clichés is to write them well. sometimes the simplest formula may be used a lot, but the proofs in the pudding; if you need a catalyst going with something simple works. take Street Kings, the film with Keanu Reeves and Forest Whitaker, there's so many twists to it, that once you finally find out who the bad guy is, you don't really give a sh*t whether he gets away with it or not. think of it like this: you're a gangbanger heading to a deal with another gang and it gets ripped off for any number of clichéd reasons...your first thought isn't going to be "oh well that was one hell of a cliché, cant believe I fell for that!"...you, being the dope dealing loan sharking pimp that you, you're gonna want payback; if you can write that catalyst and subsequent payback well, the fact it was clichéd isn't really going to matter.

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#448

Posted 19 August 2013 - 08:45 PM Edited by Money Over Bullshit, 19 August 2013 - 09:15 PM.

QUOTE (Claude4Catalina @ Monday, Aug 19 2013, 19:29)
I dunno mate, the secret to clichés is to write them well.  sometimes the simplest formula may be used a lot, but the proofs in the pudding; if you need a catalyst going with something simple works.  take Street Kings, the film with Keanu Reeves and Forest Whitaker, there's so many twists to it, that once you finally find out who the bad guy is, you don't really give a sh*t whether he gets away with it or not.  think of it like this: you're a gangbanger heading to a deal with another gang and it gets ripped off for any number of clichéd reasons...your first thought isn't going to be "oh well that was one hell of a cliché, cant believe I fell for that!"...you, being the dope dealing loan sharking pimp that you, you're gonna want payback; if you can write that catalyst and subsequent payback well, the fact it was clichéd isn't really going to matter.

Thanks for the feedback. I felt happy with the mission because it had subtext which tells people about who the characters are without outright saying it. I mean maybe the writing is a little drab but it is leading up to something far more exciting. Pretty much all will be revealed in the next installment but there are some things that require a bit of analysis. As we know from GTA IV Jon Gravelli has a strict anti drugs policy yet here is one of his top Capos openly peddling drugs. I'm not sure wether I will speak on his time spent in the joint in the future but the thoughts I had in my head were that Philly should have been the Underboss twice over but because of his incarceration he had to sit back and watch Sammy and Roy being promoted from underneath him. Due to this he has become a little bitter towards the family's leadership (which is the main reason why he breaks the rules). There will be a bit of animosity shown between him and Roy in future chapters aswell. Aside from this he's just generally distrustful of anybody but himself which is what was meant to be conveyed in the most obvious way by the line about him not putting his trust in other people.

As far as payback goes I dont think it will be necessary.. Carlo killed the whole crew and anybody who feels a little bit sore about it isn't gonna take on the Mafia, let alone the city's most powerful faction.
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#449

Posted 09 September 2013 - 11:23 PM

Damn the OPs are messed up bad :/ hopefully they fix the table code soon.

 

Anyway I'm currently working on the next installment and I should have it posted before the end of the week.

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#450

Posted 11 September 2013 - 01:13 PM

Just had a quick browse through this thread and I'm wondering what your motives for this project. Do you hope to turn it into a game someday or is it simply to be enjoyed by reading? Haven't got a chance to read it yet cause I'm at work but I'm going to give it a look.





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