Quantcast

Jump to content

» «
Photo

Grand Theft Auto: Family Ties

478 replies to this topic
Tyla
  • Tyla

    Vice Cat

  • Members
  • Joined: 12 Feb 2007
  • Australia

#331

Posted 15 July 2011 - 04:57 AM

In my mind you put Mark Lupisella across a lot better in this preview than in his previous appearance. icon14.gif

Money Over Bullshit
  • Money Over Bullshit

    Mack Militant

  • Members
  • Joined: 02 Mar 2009
  • None
  • Most Knowledgeable [GTA Series] 2010
    Best Concept Story 2010 "The Code of The Streets"

#332

Posted 15 July 2011 - 08:35 PM

QUOTE (Tyla @ Friday, Jul 15 2011, 05:57)
In my mind you put Mark Lupisella across a lot better in this preview than in his previous appearance. icon14.gif

Thanks man, although I'm not really sure how I portrayed him differently. Care to explain what you mean?

Tyla
  • Tyla

    Vice Cat

  • Members
  • Joined: 12 Feb 2007
  • Australia

#333

Posted 16 July 2011 - 02:56 PM

Mark came across very calm and subtle in Chapter Four, reasonable and open to dealing with the Pavanos. He even took the time out to spoil his daughter by taking her to get her nails done, came across as a soft touch. Now in your preview he's explosive and extremely pugnacious, cursing everything under the sun and ruthlessly entrapping an indebted Carlo in his plot to have Louie Santino killed... over a missing two grand. Louie being a Made Man, that doesn't seem the smartest move to make, especially over such a tiny sum. It's a very impulsive decision, the sort that would be made by a less than intelligent man with a propensity for violence... very clever if it was intentional.

Money Over Bullshit
  • Money Over Bullshit

    Mack Militant

  • Members
  • Joined: 02 Mar 2009
  • None
  • Most Knowledgeable [GTA Series] 2010
    Best Concept Story 2010 "The Code of The Streets"

#334

Posted 17 July 2011 - 07:37 PM Edited by Money Over Bullshit, 14 May 2012 - 12:34 AM.

That's true, Mark was a lot more calm in Chapter 4 however as we see in this latest chapter he is also very easily pissed off and just cannot seem to control his temper - kind of a bi-polar character in a way. What I've tried to do with Mark is to not focus too much on his low IQ, although he hasn't been portrayed as the sharpest knife in the drawer (as evident by the impulsive and somewhat silly decisions he makes). I've instead tried to focus on him being more in tune with his nickname "Loopy" (hence the bi-polar personality).

I also didn't intend him to be a soft touch in the first chapter, even though that may have been how he came across. I see him instead as a simple minded man who is easily manipulated both by his daughter and by the Pavanos.. a smarter man would have dug his heels in and asked for an ongoing payment from Louie and his bosses instead of just a once off tribute for allowing the dealing to go on in his turf, however Louie knew that he could easily be kept sweet by giving him a few thousand dollars. Whatever Mark is however it is clear that he is not fit to be his Father's replacement and is really just a figure head who has been put in his current position to take the heat off the real boss, his father (as stated in the last part of the chapter).

Thank you for taking the time to read the chapters and continuing to give me feedback since it's a great asset to know how the reader percieves that events that I have detailed in my writing. Hopefully Part 3 of Chapter 6 doesn't disappoint either. If anybody has any suggestions for scenarios or anything else that they think I should include in this topic then please don't hesitate to let me know. Already I am in the process of implimenting some of the suggestions I have recieved from Tyla relating to Arthur Zapulla into the next chapter, so I am definitely open to suggestions. I have got most of the story planned out in my head but there are some gaps to be filled so as I said, don't hesitate to let me know.

Tyla
  • Tyla

    Vice Cat

  • Members
  • Joined: 12 Feb 2007
  • Australia

#335

Posted 18 July 2011 - 02:55 PM

I've got to say I'm impressed by just how much you flesh your characters out! The dialogue definitely helps too. Enjoyed the chapter close M.O.B. and even spotted the reference to Vincent Gigante by Louie in how he describes the elder Lupisella. Bravo.

Money Over Bullshit
  • Money Over Bullshit

    Mack Militant

  • Members
  • Joined: 02 Mar 2009
  • None
  • Most Knowledgeable [GTA Series] 2010
    Best Concept Story 2010 "The Code of The Streets"

#336

Posted 19 July 2011 - 04:33 PM

QUOTE (Tyla @ Monday, Jul 18 2011, 15:55)
I've got to say I'm impressed by just how much you flesh your characters out! The dialogue definitely helps too. Enjoyed the chapter close M.O.B. and even spotted the reference to Vincent Gigante by Louie in how he describes the elder Lupisella. Bravo.

Thanks man. There are little bits of many of the character's personalities and backstories that are influenced by real mobsters although many refrences are quite obscure. Well done for catching the Vincent Gigante reference though. icon14.gif

You suggested further up the page that I should feature a battle between two families over waste management contracts, it appears that in GTA IV there is some kind of a dispute of that nature going on between the Ancelottis and the Pegorinos as seen in "Waste Not Want Knots". I was thinking maybe I could have one of the other families capitalise on that by moving in secret to escalate the dispute further before moving in after the all the carnage and picking up the pieces for themselves. What do you think?

Tyla
  • Tyla

    Vice Cat

  • Members
  • Joined: 12 Feb 2007
  • Australia

#337

Posted 19 July 2011 - 05:49 PM

That would be a very good idea. What family were you planning to use? I think that the Gambettis could probably be the most creditable suitor, considering the Gambino Family presence in Staten Island, but a possible twist you could dare to throw into the mix would be introducing the minor character mentioned in the Joe Corolla's bio: Mario "Mad Dog" Ciccone. It would be interesting to see how events would unfold through this notorious mobster's eyes, back on the streets after a stint in the joint, feeling an entitlement to earn, keen to affirm his position at the expense of the two weaker families: the Ancelottis and Pegorinos.

Money Over Bullshit
  • Money Over Bullshit

    Mack Militant

  • Members
  • Joined: 02 Mar 2009
  • None
  • Most Knowledgeable [GTA Series] 2010
    Best Concept Story 2010 "The Code of The Streets"

#338

Posted 19 July 2011 - 11:31 PM

QUOTE (Tyla @ Tuesday, Jul 19 2011, 18:49)
That would be a very good idea. What family were you planning to use? I think that the Gambettis could probably be the most creditable suitor, considering the Gambino Family presence in Staten Island, but a possible twist you could dare to throw into the mix would be introducing the minor character mentioned in the Joe Corolla's bio: Mario "Mad Dog" Ciccone. It would be interesting to see how events would unfold through this notorious mobster's eyes, back on the streets after a stint in the joint, feeling an entitlement to earn, keen to affirm his position at the expense of the two weaker families: the Ancelottis and Pegorinos.

I was thinking of either the Gambettis or The Messinas. Did you get that idea about Mario Ciccone from David Proval's character Richie Aprile? Cause if not then it's quite a coincidence that you would suggest that since that's pretty much what happen's with him in The Sopranos season 2.

Tyla
  • Tyla

    Vice Cat

  • Members
  • Joined: 12 Feb 2007
  • Australia

#339

Posted 20 July 2011 - 02:41 PM

Richie Aprile was my favourite character in The Sopranos, which is where the interest comes from. Going on the alias Mad Dog, the characters appeared very similar in terms of notoriety. A way into your story could have spawned from the legitimacy of the evidence given by informant Vito "Dog Meat" Menotti being called into question, with the pressing of Ciccone's legal team managing to secure his release. The death of his protege Joe Corolla could be the main catalyst for his actions as opposed to the moves of Richie Aprile that were dictated by his personality simply being alien to the modern methods of the mob and has inability to bear respect for a Boss younger than himself. A Messina interest possibly represented by the fearsome presence of Jimmy Capra would also be very good, and I'm sure whatever the final product is it will turn out to be a great read.

Money Over Bullshit
  • Money Over Bullshit

    Mack Militant

  • Members
  • Joined: 02 Mar 2009
  • None
  • Most Knowledgeable [GTA Series] 2010
    Best Concept Story 2010 "The Code of The Streets"

#340

Posted 20 July 2011 - 04:48 PM Edited by Money Over Bullshit, 20 July 2011 - 04:51 PM.

QUOTE (Tyla @ Wednesday, Jul 20 2011, 15:41)
Richie Aprile was my favourite character in The Sopranos, which is where the interest comes from. Going on the alias Mad Dog, the characters appeared very similar in terms of notoriety. A way into your story could have spawned from the legitimacy of the evidence given by informant Vito "Dog Meat" Menotti being called into question, with the pressing of Ciccone's legal team managing to secure his release. The death of his protege Joe Corolla could be the main catalyst for his actions as opposed to the moves of Richie Aprile that were dictated by his personality simply being alien to the modern methods of the mob and has inability to bear respect for a Boss younger than himself. A Messina interest possibly represented by the fearsome presence of Jimmy Capra would also be very good, and I'm sure whatever the final product is it will turn out to be a great read.

That's a really good idea man, unfortunately I had planned on Carlo's ties with the Pavanos being severed after the next couple of chapters. I don't want this story to go on for too long so as good as the idea is I don't think I'm going to impliment it since it would extend the story a little bit further than I had hoped to bring it. I want Carlo to spend an equal amount of time working with each of the five families and the more elements I introduce into the story the more ends I have to eventually tie up. Thanks a lot for the suggestion though and if you have any others (which don't concern the Pavanos for reasons I mentioned before) I would be more than happy to consider them. In the next chapter I'm actually using two of your suggestions about Arthur Zapulla, these being his involvement in the porn industry (coming from a comment you made about his sleazy appearence) and him starting a Casino venture with some mobsters from out of town. After this Carlo's involvement with the Pavanos will start winding down before finally ending with an event that I don't want to give away, just yet.

Tyla
  • Tyla

    Vice Cat

  • Members
  • Joined: 12 Feb 2007
  • Australia

#341

Posted 22 July 2011 - 06:04 PM

QUOTE (Money Over Bullsh*t @ Wednesday, Jul 20 2011, 16:48)
In the next chapter I'm actually using two of your suggestions about Arthur Zapulla, these being his involvement in the porn industry (coming from a comment you made about his sleazy appearence) and him starting a Casino venture with some mobsters from out of town. After this Carlo's involvement with the Pavanos will start winding down before finally ending with an event that I don't want to give away, just yet.


I'm looking forward to reading it! I was actually going back over Tales From Liberty City earlier and noticed a plot point consistent in both stories involving a brief rivalry between the Gambettis and Messinas over Jon Gravellis impending mortality, chiefly between Nicky Bottino and a mobster by the name of Bobby "The Bull". I noticed in this topic that Bobby is an associate of Jimmy Capra; maybe this could also somehow be involved in the Richmond/Staten Island garbage wars?

Money Over Bullshit
  • Money Over Bullshit

    Mack Militant

  • Members
  • Joined: 02 Mar 2009
  • None
  • Most Knowledgeable [GTA Series] 2010
    Best Concept Story 2010 "The Code of The Streets"

#342

Posted 23 July 2011 - 02:30 PM

QUOTE (Tyla @ Friday, Jul 22 2011, 19:04)
QUOTE (Money Over Bullsh*t @ Wednesday, Jul 20 2011, 16:48)
In the next chapter I'm actually using two of your suggestions about Arthur Zapulla, these being his involvement in the porn industry (coming from a comment you made about his sleazy appearence) and him starting a Casino venture with some mobsters from out of town. After this Carlo's involvement with the Pavanos will start winding down before finally ending with an event that I don't want to give away, just yet.


I'm looking forward to reading it! I was actually going back over Tales From Liberty City earlier and noticed a plot point consistent in both stories involving a brief rivalry between the Gambettis and Messinas over Jon Gravellis impending mortality, chiefly between Nicky Bottino and a mobster by the name of Bobby "The Bull". I noticed in this topic that Bobby is an associate of Jimmy Capra; maybe this could also somehow be involved in the Richmond/Staten Island garbage wars?

Yeah I think that would be quite a good fit actually. For the most part Bobby Scarfino will be sort of a sidekick to Jimmy Capra. Both are bruisers but Scarfino (despite being the bigger of the two) is the more rational one who keeps Capra on an even keel due to a mutual respect between the two. Both guys are soldiers but the kind of high ranking soldiers who can order the lower level guys around. Kinda like Roy Demeo or Lefty Ruggiero were in the Gambino and Bonnano families. Jimmy Capra will be an employer in an upcoming part of the story so I don't see why Scarfino can't dish out some jobs to Carlo too. I had planned on Harry Hall being the mastermind behind the whole scenario initially but I suppose Bobby could be the go between he uses to put distance between himself and spurring on the conflict in case it should come back to bite him (and his good friend Harry) on the arse. As far as the actual conflict between the two Families goes though, it will simply just be a case of Nicky whacked your guy so we'll let you away with whacking Nicky... I just think that's the best way to handle it since Mafia Families don't really seem to "go to war" with other Families any more.

Tyla
  • Tyla

    Vice Cat

  • Members
  • Joined: 12 Feb 2007
  • Australia

#343

Posted 30 July 2011 - 03:51 AM

How's that next chapter coming along, MOB?

Money Over Bullshit
  • Money Over Bullshit

    Mack Militant

  • Members
  • Joined: 02 Mar 2009
  • None
  • Most Knowledgeable [GTA Series] 2010
    Best Concept Story 2010 "The Code of The Streets"

#344

Posted 30 July 2011 - 06:06 PM

QUOTE (Tyla @ Saturday, Jul 30 2011, 04:51)
How's that next chapter coming along, MOB?

I have two parts of it just about written up. I've been working quite a bit lately and the weekend is for drinking haha Shifty41s_beerhatsmilie2.gif

I should definitely have an update posted before the end of next week though.

Money Over Bullshit
  • Money Over Bullshit

    Mack Militant

  • Members
  • Joined: 02 Mar 2009
  • None
  • Most Knowledgeable [GTA Series] 2010
    Best Concept Story 2010 "The Code of The Streets"

#345

Posted 09 August 2011 - 08:57 PM Edited by Money Over Bullshit, 2 weeks ago.

Chapter 7 - At Your Service

Part 1



When you are ready, call Artie he will ask you to meet him in a plush apartment building on Silicone Street just across from Vespucci University, apartment 302. When you get there Carlo will ring the buzzer and an unknown male voice will ask him who it is. Carlo will tell him who he is and say that he is there to see Artie after which point he will electronically unlock the door. After walking up a couple of flights of stairs Carlo will approach the door of apartment 302 and noticing it unlocked he will push it open and walk inside. When he enters the room he will see Artie sitting on a directors chair next to what appears to be some kind of a movie set complete with spotlights, cameras etc. As he walks closer he will hear moans of passion and notice two females on the floor in front of where Artie is seated, one lying on her back and the other on all fours giving her oral sex. Not wanting to interrupt the proceedings, Carlo will keep at a safe distance and call out to Artie who is still several feet away.

Carlo (in a sort of half whisper): "Hey Artie what's up?"

Artie (turning to face Carlo): "Oh hey Carlo, how you doin"

Carlo: "I'm ok man.. uh.. are you filming a porno here?"

Artie: "Yeah man.. It's called Cock Hungry Coeds part two"

Artie will speak in an elevated tone and talk with his hands as if to advertise the movie to Carlo

Carlo: "Nice. I don't see any cocks here though.. not that I'm complainin or nothin"

Artie: "You want in on this sh*t man"

Carlo: "No thank you man, I just ate"

Artie: "Alright that's cool, a fit young guy like you could make a lot of money in this business though"

Carlo: "That's kinda why I'm here man, Louie said you might have some jobs for me"

At this point Artie will be completely ignoring Carlo and will be fully focussed on the scene which is still playing out in front of him, directing the two actresses as to what to do next.

Artie: "That's it baby get right in there. Oooh yeah now flip her over and do it from behind"

Carlo will wait for a moment until Artie has finished yelling directions before trying to get his attention again.

Carlo: "Hey Artie! Are you even listening to me!?

Artie (turning to face Carlo once more) : "Sorry Carlo it's just that I'm on a bit of a tight schedule trying to finish this shoot.." (turning back to face the performers and crew) "That should have wrapped three f*cking days ago!"

Carlo: "If you're too busy here I can always come back"

Artie: "No, stay.. I need to talk to you about something"

Carlo: "Ok.. What is it?"

Artie will get up from the directors chair and walk towards Carlo before grabbing him around the shoulder and leading him away from the set. He will then walk around him so that the two are directly facing each other and begin to speak

Artie: "Ya know Carlo there's a lot of money to be made in traditional activities such as loansharking and illegal bookmaking et cetera but those types of things draw too much attention from the cops. This business on the other hand is easy money, you could make this stuff 24/7 and never draw any unwanted attention upon yourself.. think about it.. there aint no laws about makin porn in this country"

Carlo: "No there's not"

Artie: "Now this type of stuff that I'm shooting today.. it's a big seller. You've got your girl-girl, your boy-girl, your boy boy – girl, your boy boy boy - girl.. well you get the picture. But all that stuff isn't really in such high demand now, that's why you've got to move with the times, embrace the internet age and all that sh*t. People want to watch porno that they can relate to.. like four guys in a minivan"

Carlo: "You mean gay sh*t?"

Artie: "No man not f*cking gay sh*t, there's girls involved, real girls.. girls who've never f*cked on camera before.. or maybe they have.. that's the whole mystery about it.. that's why it sells!"

Carlo: "I get what you're saying man but what does all that have to do with me"

Artie: "Well since almost all my guys are tied up here I need somebody to drive said minivan"

Carlo: "That somebody being me?"

Artie: "Yeah man. And don't worry you don't have to do nothin accept drive the van around the city looking for some girls that are willing to f*ck a couple of my guys on camera for a few hundred dollars, it's a piece of f*cking cake"

Carlo: "A few hundred dollars? is that my payment or theirs?"

Artie: "Theirs man. You get me some nice amateur girls and you'll be fairly compensated believe me"

Carlo: "Ok.. that doesn't seem too hard to do.. I'll do it"

Artie: "Great man.. the male talent and the camera man are already waiting for you outside.. so get to it. And don't disappoint me"

Carlo: "Ok Artie. I wont"

When Carlo walks outside the building there will be a Moonbeam parked up with a camera man in the passenger seat and two Jersey Shore types seated in the rear. Carlo will walk around to the driver's side and get in. "Heeyy buddy, I guess you're our driver" the cameraman will say enthusiastically as Carlo sits down and starts the engine. "Yeah man, I am" Carlo will reply, clearly not sharing his enthusiasm. "And your name is?" the cameraman will enquire "It's Carlo" Carlo will bluntly fire back. "Heeyy Carlo. Nice to meet ya. My name is Mike.. I'm the camera man, hence the camera" Mike will say, trying a little too hard to come across as funny (much to Carlo's chagrin), he will then introduce the two guys in the back "this is Doug and this is Rick, they're gonna be our male talent for the day", Carlo will respond halfheartedly "Hi guys" managing to draw an equally unenthusiastic "Hey" from the guys in the back.

As Carlo drives a little further down the street away from where he started, still not knowing exactly where he's going, Mike will continue with his barrage of over friendly bullsh*t "so, now that we're all acquainted let's do a little introduction piece" he will then put the camera in Carlo's face and fire it up. Carlo however will not take too kindly to this and pushed to his limits he will launch into a verbal attack "Hey man, what the hell are you doin!? I didn't say you could film me! I'm just the driver, you guys do what you gotta do and I'll drive you wherever yous wanna go but just don't get my f*ckin face in ok" Mike will be rendered silent for a couple of seconds before apologising to Carlo, feeling somewhat ashamed at losing his composure, Carlo will then return the apology before asking "so where do you guys wanna go?". Mike will tell Carlo that he wants him to first drive through North Holland and look for some "sweet chocolate bitches".

As you drive around the area you will notice several women standing close to the side of the road, these will be your prospective actresses, however only a couple of them will be willing to participate in the movie. This is ok though since you only need one. In order to grab a girl's attention you must park up next to the sidewalk and honk your horn, the girl will then walk to the passenger's side window and the cameraman will ask them some bullsh*t question like if they want to be part of a documentary, or if they would mind if the boys in the back asked them a few questions. If a girl is interested she will get in, the boys in the back will get to work on persuading her to have sex with them on camera and Mike will direct you to the next location, if she is not interested however you must go and look around the area for another woman who is willing to comply.

Once you have picked up a woman in North Holland you will be directed to drive towards neighboring East Holland to look for some "Culo Caliente" (in other words a latina). When you enter East Holland the objective will be the same as before, look for a girl who is willing to get in the van. When you have picked up a girl in East Holland, Mike will then tell you it's time to look for "a rich girl who's desperate to prove that she's not such a goody two shoes", where better to find such a girl than in Middle Park East, which will be the next stop on your seedy roadtrip. The objective in Middle Park East will again be the same, look for another girl to be a star in the movie. When you have picked up the third girl you will be instructed to drive towards Chinatown to look for an oriental girl to be the final participant in your multicultural orgy. When you have found a suitable candidate the recruitment process will be complete. At this point Mike will tell Carlo to drive towards Leftwood in Alderney taking a specific route up through The Triangle, Star Junction and Middle Park West (which will appear on your GPS). As you drive towards Leftwood the movie will begin to kick into full swing and there will be a lot of moaning and groaning and dirty talk coming from the back of the van which will not subside until you draw close to Leftwood. When you do eventually reach your destination Mike will tell you to drive out onto the cliffside where he will tell the girls that they can get some really nice shots. When you actually reach the cliffside however the two actors will just kick the girls out not only without pay but miles away from home. Mike will then instruct you to drive back to where you started in order to finish up this assignment. When you get back to the building in Varsity Heights Mike will thank you and give you your payment, after which point you will be free to do as you please.


A short time after completion of this portion of the chapter you will recieve a very angry phonecall from Mark Lupisella who will ask you why you haven't yet killed Louie and telling you that he's going to send a hit team after you etc. Carlo seemingly unfazed by his threats will tell him that he must have the wrong number and will hang up the phone. Mark's threats however will not be idol ones as you will find out if you hang around Bohan for too long after receiving his call as several mobsters will begin to pursue you in a car and will fire at you on sight.
 

Click Here for Part 2


vertical limit
  • vertical limit

    When in doubt don't pull out.

  • Members
  • Joined: 27 Aug 2010
  • None

#346

Posted 09 August 2011 - 11:36 PM

Woah, nice chapter, good job.

Akavari
  • Akavari

    Gangsta

  • Members
  • Joined: 24 Aug 2009
  • None

#347

Posted 11 August 2011 - 02:31 AM

It's always refreshing to see a new chapter of this posted, I got a kick out of the porn-making mission. Pretty awkward, but original. All that was missing was some kind of Bangbros/Brazzers reference, hahaha.

Money Over Bullshit
  • Money Over Bullshit

    Mack Militant

  • Members
  • Joined: 02 Mar 2009
  • None
  • Most Knowledgeable [GTA Series] 2010
    Best Concept Story 2010 "The Code of The Streets"

#348

Posted 11 August 2011 - 08:06 AM

QUOTE (akavari112 @ Thursday, Aug 11 2011, 03:31)
All that was missing was some kind of Bangbros/Brazzers reference, hahaha.

Not quite...

QUOTE
"People want to watch porno that they can relate to.. like four guys in a minivan"


The basic premise of Bangbros popular "Bang Bus" series is "Three Guys in a Minivan", I just bumped it up to four to make it a little bit more GTA-esque comedic.

@ vertical limit: Thanks man, glad you enjoyed it

Akavari
  • Akavari

    Gangsta

  • Members
  • Joined: 24 Aug 2009
  • None

#349

Posted 11 August 2011 - 04:12 PM

Maybe I'm just not watching enough porn, then. Nice job, now that part makes a lot more sense aha.

Tyla
  • Tyla

    Vice Cat

  • Members
  • Joined: 12 Feb 2007
  • Australia

#350

Posted 11 August 2011 - 05:46 PM

QUOTE (Money Over Bullsh*t @ Tuesday, Aug 9 2011, 20:57)
Chapter 7

Now there's what I miss about GTA icon14.gif
The partnership between the Pavanos and Carcer City sounds real interesting too. Hope to see Part 3 up soon!

Money Over Bullshit
  • Money Over Bullshit

    Mack Militant

  • Members
  • Joined: 02 Mar 2009
  • None
  • Most Knowledgeable [GTA Series] 2010
    Best Concept Story 2010 "The Code of The Streets"

#351

Posted 11 August 2011 - 07:49 PM Edited by Money Over Bullshit, 15 October 2013 - 04:08 PM.

Chapter 7 - Part 2



Carlo will once again make his way to Artie's apartment in Varsity Heights and ring the buzzer. This time he will not even be asked to identify himself, he will just be let right in. He will then make his way to the third floor and knock on apartment 302. After a brief wait at the door he will be greeted by Artie who will squeeze past Carlo (who will try to get a peek inside to see if there is another movie being filmed inside) and join him in the hall.

Artie: "That was a real nice job you did for me last time man, real nice"

Carlo: "It was a pleasure man, really"

Artie: "When that baby is done being edited I'll be sure to send you a copy, then you can have all the pleasure you want with it buddy, am I right huh huh (nudging Carlo), put her there haha" (offers Carlo a hand shake, which he somewhat reluctantly accepts)

Carlo: "Yeah good one bro"

The two men will walk downstairs and emerge in the ground floor foyer

Artie: Alright so listen, I got a few connected guys coming in from Los Santos, me and them are gonna meet up to discuss a new business venture we're setting up together in Venturas, casino, hotel man the works.

Carlo: "Ok.."

Artie: "Now since these guys are bein nice enough to travel all the way over here I told them that they'd have a chance to take in some of our city's beautiful sights while they're here"

Carlo: "Sure.."

Artie: "The thing is these guys are only here on sort of a flying visit so I need to get them around all of the landmarks in just a couple of hours"

Carlo: "So you guys won't be taking a tour bus in other words"

Artie: "Right. I've hired a limo for us, it should be here any minute, however the sh*t that we're gonna be discussing aint really the type of stuff that I want somebody outside our thing overhearing"

Carlo: "I get you"

Artie: "You've already proved you can take the driver's seat and not pay attention to what's going behind you so I'm willing to bring you into the inner circle on this one. Whaddya say? Dya think you can handle it?"

Carlo: "Sure. So long as I don't have to wear one of them goofy chauffeur's caps"

Artie: "I guess I could give you a pass on that"

Carlo: "Great, let's get this show on the road shall we"

Artie and Carlo will walk outside Artie's building where a limo will already by parked up with a driver waiting patiently alongside it. As the men approach him he will open the rear door and invite them inside. Artie will walk up to the driver and grabbing him around the shoulder he will tell him "I'm afraid we won't be needing your services" the driver will look at him awkwardly and ask him what he means, Artie will look at him cracking a half smile and say "here's two hundred bucks buddy, take a hike, we'll drop the car off when we're finished with it". The driver will be somewhat reluctant to hand over the keys but after a moments thought he will figure that he's doing quite well out of the deal and with a peppy "Aye Aye captain" he will head on his way, handing Artie his cap and the keys to the limo as he leaves. Artie will look at the cap smiling before looking at Carlo and jokingly remarking "You know man, I think this would look pretty good on you". Carlo will laugh sarcastically and say "When you're done busting my chops can we get a move on, I believe we have some wiseguys to pick up".

After he and Artie get into the limo Artie will tell Carlo to drive over to The Emissary Hotel near Middle Park in order to pick up the visiting mobsters. When you have picked up the mobsters Artie will ask you to drive down Denver-Exeter Avenue past the Live Central Music Venue and turn down Lorimar Street and take a right onto Albany avenue which runs along side The Civilization Committee before stopping for a few moments to allow the mobsters to admire the building. After a few seconds he will then ask you to pull off again, take a right and drive through the heart of Star Junction where he will not tell you to stop completely but to drive slowly through the area, by which point the business meeting will have kicked into full swing. The next destination on your sightseeing trip will be The Zirconium Building in Lancet where you will be again ordered to stop momentarily before proceeding to drive slowly past the Triangle building and on to the Rotterdam Tower where you will again be required to stop the Limo. After the mobsters have gotten their fill of admiring The Rotterdam Tower Artie will request that you drive to The Civic Citadel/City Hall. After visiting the Citadel you will be instructed to turn onto Union Drive West which offers a spectacular view of The Statue of Happiness, the last sight on your journey before making your way back to The Emissary Hotel.

As you begin to drive the mobsters back to their hotel you will begin to be pursued by several black Sentinals who will try initially to ram you off the road before opening fire on your car. At this point Artie and the other mobsters will naturally become very shaken up and will start screaming at you to take out the attackers (before opening fire with pistols after a short time themselves). There are several methods that can be used to do this, you can fire at the cars out of your side window, drop grenades behind your car, drive evasively in order to cause them to crash or use a combination of all of these methods. Due to the gunfire coming from the Limo you will also have to contend with persuing police which coupled with the Stretch's slow speed can make this task doubly difficult. Once all pursuing cars have been eliminated you must then drop the mobsters safely back off at their hotel. When the mobsters exit the vehicle they will thank Artie and Carlo for taking care of them and promise to get in touch with Artie soon about their joined venture in Las Venturas once "Mr. Bonelli" has finalised the plans. Artie will ask Carlo to take him back to his apartment building in Varsity Heights before commending him for a job well done and telling him that he will surely be in touch soon with more work, Carlo however will tell him "with all due respect" that he's "sick of being his f*cking driver" and does not wish to work for him any longer due to the amount of risk involved. Artie will respect his wishes and promise that he will make sure his "Godmother" and others on the Commission know how much of a good worker he is. Carlo will thank him and the two will part ways.


After dropping Artie off Carlo will recieve yet another phonecall, this time from Dani who will be wondering why she hasn't seen him in a while and say that she hopes he's ok (seemingly not knowing about her father's sending a hit squad after him). Carlo will tell her that he is fine but is living in Algonquin now and has been busy getting his new place ready Dani will tell him that she is happy he is moving up in the world and that she would love to come see his new place when it's ready. Carlo will respond be telling her that he would like very much for her to come visit but will then cut the phonecall prematurely short by telling her that he is quite busy and will talk to her soon.
 

Click Here for Part 3


Irish Boy
  • Irish Boy

    Crackhead

  • Members
  • Joined: 25 Jul 2011

#352

Posted 11 August 2011 - 09:41 PM

lad this is class Rockstar should seriously take notice. Best thread iv seen this is as good as or not better than Lost and Damned

Money Over Bullshit
  • Money Over Bullshit

    Mack Militant

  • Members
  • Joined: 02 Mar 2009
  • None
  • Most Knowledgeable [GTA Series] 2010
    Best Concept Story 2010 "The Code of The Streets"

#353

Posted 12 August 2011 - 10:53 PM Edited by Money Over Bullshit, 06 August 2014 - 08:03 PM.

Chapter 7 - Part 3



Carlo will be in his Algonquin apartment when suddenly he will hear a short firm knock on the door. Thinking it may be one of Lupisella's goons coming to whack him he will grab a pistol from the drawer of a dresser beside the door and tentatively ask "who is it?". There will be a pause of a few seconds before the voice on the other side of the door will answer "It's me, Louie. Come on man open up". Put at ease, Carlo will open the door.

Carlo: "Jesus Lou, you couldn't have called first?"

Louie: "Sorry man.. I wasn't thinkin y'know"

Carlo (shaking his head at Louie's silliness): "Come in man"

The two will walk a few steps together into the living room

Louie: "So how are you settlin in to the new place"

Carlo: "Pretty good man, I've been doing a couple of jobs for your friend Artie"

Louie: "I heard, he said you got him and some west coast gumbahs out of a bit of a jam"

Carlo: "Yeah man.. I thought that was gonna be my last limo ride for sure. There we were just taking a nice scenic drive an then all of a sudden some guys in a sedan just open fire on us"

Louie: "Life is strange aint it (laughs)" "So listen, I found us a buyer for that smack"

Carlo: "That's great man, When are we gonna offload it?"

Louie: "Right now man, I got the sh*t in the back of my car, it's parked right outside"

Carlo: "You've got to be f*ckin kidding me, are you looking to get pinched or what!?"

Louie: "Relax man, when I pulled up there was nobody even around. The cops aint gonna be lookin for drugs in the back of a car in a nice neighbourhood like this anyway"

Carlo: "I sure hope you're right. So who are the buyers?"

Louie will fall silent

Carlo (pressing him for an answer): "Who are the buyers Lou?"

Louie: "It's uhh.. The Angels of Death"

Carlo: "The Angels of Death!? You mean the same Angels of Death that tried to rub us out the last time we tried to offload this sh*t!?"

Louie: "Listen man I know what you're thinkin, I must be f*cking crazy right"

Carlo: "Among other things"

Louie: "If I had my way I wouldn't deal with those scumbags in a million years but the order to deal with them came from higher up, so I gotta do it. Turns out some of the other captains do business with those f*cks, using them for peddling drugs and buying guns and sh*t, so in order for those relationships to be maintained we gotta sell them the junk"

Carlo will think hard before answering

Carlo: "Ok but if this sh*t goes bad I'm holding you personally responsible"

Louie: "Ok man. And hey, if you need a little somethin to make this right in your mind.. just think of all the money you'll be makin, we pull this off and you don't have to sh*t your pants every time somebody knocks on your door (laughs). You'll have enough to pay off your debt to Loopy and then some"

Carlo: "You had me at the word money man, let's go"

The two men will walk outside Carlo's apartment building towards a Grey coloured Patriot parked awkwardly, half mounting the sidewalk (a clear sign of Louie's hast and idiocy). Louie will produce his keys and simultaneously turning off the alarm and unlocking the doors with the touch of a button. "Is that your car man?" Carlo will enquire as the two men walk towards the Patriot. "Yeah man. I'm an acting capo now I can't be seen driving around town in an outdated sedan" Louie will reply with a broad smile spread across his face. The two men will get into the Humvee and Louie will say to Carlo "you can drive, I think everybody should have the chance to feel what it's like to drive one of these bad boys. And let's face it man your swagger is in need of a serious boost". "Thanks man" Carlo will reply sarcastically "good thing this thing can go off road because I may just be tempted to drive it off a pier and into the Humboldt". "Haha f*ck you man" Louie will reply "just drive to the location and keep the wise cracks to a minimum", "I can do that" will say with a lingering smirk on his face. At this point a waypoint will show up on your radar which leads to a salvage yard in Northwood.

When you get there you will be greeted by several bikers waiting patiently for your arrival on their motorcycles with a couple of others standing beside a parked Pony. When Carlo and Louie pull into the yard the two bikers who had been standing by the van one of which appears to be the leader will approach their vehicle. Carlo will park the Patriot and he and Louie will get out to join the two bikers and initiate the deal. After exiting the van Louie will address the bikers.

Louie: "Good afternoon gentlemen, I believe I have something in the back of this here vehicle that may interest you"

Louie opens up the back door of the Patriot and the lead biker will have a look inside at the merchandise.

Biker: "Whoa baby! So how much you boys want for this sh*t?"

Louie: "Wholesale price is 500 Gs but I'll knock off ten percent for you guys in the spirit of good will"

Biker: "You got yourself a deal brother, sure beats doin business with the spooks"

Louie: "Amen to that"

Biker (turning to one of his minions): "Go get the money from the van"

The other biker will walk over to the van and retrieve a briefcase from beneath the driver's seat and then walk back over and hand it to Louie. The head biker will then signal to him to take the bags of heroin from the rear of the Patriot.

Louie (looking inside the briefcase): "I presume I aint gotta count this"

Biker: "Hey, be my guest man"

Louie: "Nah, it's cool. I trust you guys, crazy as that may be"

He will then hand the briefcase to Carlo who will place it in the front of the Patriot

Biker: "Well in that case, it's been a pleasure doin business with you boys"

Louie: "Likewise"

At this point Louie and the Biker will shake hands but as they do the camera will pull back slowly to reveal several heavily armed men dressed in dark clothes approaching from the front of the parking lot, with only their lower halves being visible to the observer. The men will take up defensive positions around the parking lot and there will be a brief pause as Louie and Carlo and the Bikers begin to walk back to their vehicles before the tranquility is broken by one of the men shouting "This is the LCPD, we have you surrounded, stay right where you are!" none of the parties will heed their warnings however and will make a speedy break for their vehicles prompting the armed Bureau of Narcotics officers to open fire on them. All parties involved will then briskly high tail it out of there.

The aim from here on out will be to evade your newly acquired four star wanted level, which will be no mean feat by any measure. As Carlo attempts to evade the cops he will shout at Louie saying that it's all his fault that the deal got broken up and that he told him it was stupid to park the Humvee full of heroin up on the sidewalk not to mention the sloppy manner in which he did so. Louie will respond by saying that it was just plain bad luck and that they should be grateful that they got away with the money at least. Carlo however will also disagree with this saying that they must have been tailed from his apartment. When the wanted level has been evaded and Carlo and Louie have finished arguing Louie will ask you to drop him off in Lower Easton outside the Pavano's social club at which point he will give you your share of the dough ($200,000) and thank you for your hard work. After dropping Louie off Carlo will call Frankie Lupisella and tell him that he has Mark's money. Frankie will tell him to meet him in an abandoned parking lot in Bohan in an in-game hour (the time it should take to drive over there).

When Carlo enters the parking lot he will find Frankie leaning against his Buccaneer, Carlo will approach him with a bag full of money draped over his shoulder. As soon as Frankie notices him he will walk toward him and offer a friendly handshake and say "There he is, the man of the hour" Carlo will shake his hand and smile before replying "How you doin Frankie" to which Frankie will reply "good to see ya kid". Taking the bag off his shoulder and handing it to Frankie Carlo will say "Here ya go man, I threw in an extra ten just for good measure". After taking the bag from Carlo and looking inside Frankie will grab Carlo with one hand by his face in a paternal fashion, massaging his ear slightly and tell him "good boy, my cousin will be very pleased". After a sentimental silence Frankie will look into Carlo's face and say "if you're in need of some extra money I got a numbers gig goin and I could always use some extra guys to help me run it". Carlo will thank him for the offer but state that he thinks it best that they part ways since Carlo "doesn't want to be constantly looking over his shoulder wondering if and when Mark's gonna take him out". Frankie will nod in agreement with a forlorn look in his eyes pondering why his cousin has to make business so difficult before finally replying "take good care of yourself kid", "you too Frankie" Carlo will say and the two will part company for what will likely be the last time. Chapter 7 will now be complete.


Shortly after completion of this chapter Carlo will receive a text message from Artie who will tell him that he has a friend who owns a car dealership in Alderney City (Auto Eroticar) who is always looking for top of the range (stolen) vehicles to sell off to the unsuspecting public and if you're interested in stealing a list of cars for him that he will pass him on your number. If you reply to this text message you will begin to periodically receive SMS notifications of the locations of specific cars. This will form the starting point of an Auto theft side mission similar to Brucie's exotic exports from vanilla GTA IV


Akavari
  • Akavari

    Gangsta

  • Members
  • Joined: 24 Aug 2009
  • None

#354

Posted 13 August 2011 - 12:35 AM

Great climax to that chapter, it tied up a lot of the loose ends. icon14.gif

Will the aftermath of that police raid echo into the next chapter?

Money Over Bullshit
  • Money Over Bullshit

    Mack Militant

  • Members
  • Joined: 02 Mar 2009
  • None
  • Most Knowledgeable [GTA Series] 2010
    Best Concept Story 2010 "The Code of The Streets"

#355

Posted 13 August 2011 - 10:47 AM

QUOTE (akavari112 @ Saturday, Aug 13 2011, 01:35)
Great climax to that chapter, it tied up a lot of the loose ends. icon14.gif

Will the aftermath of that police raid echo into the next chapter?

The Angels of Death and The Pavano Family are both organised criminal gangs so the event will definitely have long term implications for both of them and add to a massive RICO case against their leaders and individual indictments for the members involved. As I'm sure you know the local PDs and The Feds tend to hold off on prosecuting members of Organised crime outfits until they have enough charges to put them away for life (or make them turn states). Carlo is still pretty small time compared to others on the Feds priority list but later on down the line there will be reprecussions for him no doubt. The main thing that echoes in this chapter I feel is Louie's stupidity and haste when it comes to serious business and his naivity about the attention he has been garnering from police. If you notice, almost every time Louie has appeared in the story the cops somehow become involved. His attitude is that he's untouchable and he operates with the type of pronounced presence that's typically frowned upon in LCN. Louie will be sort of a central character in the next chapter, which also marks the end of Carlo's tenure with the Pavanos.

Sanjeem
  • Sanjeem

  • Members
  • Joined: 11 Oct 2008

#356

Posted 20 August 2011 - 05:20 PM

I will read the text in a minute, Just wanted to congratulate you for keeping this up, I'll edit this post after and get back to you.

Tyla
  • Tyla

    Vice Cat

  • Members
  • Joined: 12 Feb 2007
  • Australia

#357

Posted 21 August 2011 - 02:45 AM

Louie, like his name suggests, seems too much of a cowboy to in a position of power, too blasť and impulsive. With the way you've built him up, a man like that surely can't hold on to rank or respect for very long, especially within the Pavanos and even more so that the only man who could control his tendencies is dead. I can't see him lasting very long and I'm curious of his eventual fate. Whatever befalls Carlo and Louie, I'm sure it be not what we're probably all expecting. The mention of certain figures above have certainly spiked my imagination as to an alternative exit!

Money Over Bullshit
  • Money Over Bullshit

    Mack Militant

  • Members
  • Joined: 02 Mar 2009
  • None
  • Most Knowledgeable [GTA Series] 2010
    Best Concept Story 2010 "The Code of The Streets"

#358

Posted 24 August 2011 - 06:35 PM

QUOTE (Tyla @ Sunday, Aug 21 2011, 03:45)
Louie, like his name suggests, seems too much of a cowboy to in a position of power, too blasť and impulsive. With the way you've built him up, a man like that surely can't hold on to rank or respect for very long, especially within the Pavanos and even more so that the only man who could control his tendencies is dead. I can't see him lasting very long and I'm curious of his eventual fate. Whatever befalls Carlo and Louie, I'm sure it be not what we're probably all expecting. The mention of certain figures above have certainly spiked my imagination as to an alternative exit!

I think Louie's eventual fate is quite predictable in a sense since there is really only one outcome for such a person in La Cosa Nostra however the nature of his deperture will hopefully be a little less predictable and I feel it will be.

On a side note I recently had another look at Mark and Vincent Lupisella's profiles on the LCPD database and found out that Mark is actually Vincent's nephew and not his son as I was previously led to believe (stupid unreliable gta wiki strikes again). I have since made the necessary changes to the character bios and the previous chapters.

On another side note the next chapter will probably take a little bit longer to come than the previous ones since I'm currently in the process of formulating a list of new vehicles, some radio content and some multiplayer modes as well as overhauling GTA IV's map to include a Staten Island clone as I previously mentioned.

Money Over Bullshit
  • Money Over Bullshit

    Mack Militant

  • Members
  • Joined: 02 Mar 2009
  • None
  • Most Knowledgeable [GTA Series] 2010
    Best Concept Story 2010 "The Code of The Streets"

#359

Posted 06 September 2011 - 06:50 PM

Hey guys, I'm in need of some soundtrack suggestions. Firsty and foremost I need people to suggest some good Jazz tracks for JNR and/or some Jazz fusion tracks for Fusion FM. I was thinking of adding some classical music like Mozart and Beethoven but I'm not sure if that stuff qualifies as suitable for a Jazz station does it??

I'm also planning on adding a Rock and Roll station featuring songs by The Four Seasons and Chuck Berry etc. but I can't for the life of me think of a good name for it.. All suggestions welcome.

The soundtrack will also include additional songs for LRR but I already pretty much have a full tracklist set for that.

Tommy.
  • Tommy.

    MUFC

  • The Yardies
  • Joined: 01 May 2011
  • None
  • Most Knowledgeable [Sports] 2013

#360

Posted 06 September 2011 - 08:52 PM

That was an awesome chapter. Love it! icon14.gif




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users