1. Previews of the movie at the beginning of the movie I’m going to watch now. I got (bought/rented) the movie so what are they trying to sell me?
2. Previews that show the only two surprises in the movie. It just ruins the only real mystery action in the movie.
3. White sub-titles. (Should be orange outlined if not completely orange with black outline.)
4. Non-science fiction movies with major sci-fi aspects: Digital pictures being ‘enhanced’ to see impossible images from a pixel.
5. Bad (lazy) camera angles. Scene is supposed to be what the character sees, but the view angle is impossible.
6. Characters are out for a walk. They meet. After talking they turn to go back the way they came. What happened to the errand they left the house for?
7. Police person on duty gets shot in the chest. No Body Armour?
8. Police shows where the character(s) are going to aid someone but, no one calls for backup or other assistance that is likely to be closer to render aid.
9. Police/FBI are on scene where probable injury should be expected. No medical assistance is present. “… Somebody call 911…”
10. Person arrives at scene, stops vehicle 100 yards (or any unseemly distance) away and runs up to (whatever).
11. Person lying on pavement. Help(?) manhandles body without regard to possible injuries or further potential harm.
12. Actor must remove headgear (helmet) because the actor Must show face.
13. Actor being carried is unconscious but head is held up without brace.
14. Actor being carried is unconscious but arm(s) holding on to carrier.
15. Cheap set lighting, usually a reddish colour.
16. Needing to talk with a person actor stops twelve feet away when (s)he could easily walk next to the person. And then shouts, “I need to talk with you, right away!”
17. Driver pulls from curb without looking for oncoming traffic. Usually moderate traffic could be seen in background.
18. End of the world: “We have to evacuate, right now!” So there is no ‘safe’ place and where is everybody going?
19. End of the world: “… must protect the leaders…” Why there will be no people left to govern?
20. Character is scared and walking backwards in the dangerous area, paying no attention to where (s)he is going.
21. Going to search/explore a dark structure without a torch. Luckily there’s enough light in the dark tunnel.
22. A Disaster countdown that is accurate to the second with Everybody’s watch set to the exact second.
23. Chase scenes, every other cut shows the actors about to overtaken and then a different angle shows them far apart.
24. Character is being chased by a vehicle. The person runs down the alley/street/path with the chaser closing in. There are plenty of places to move sideways (where the vehicle can’t go) that are ignored.
25. Vehicle operator seems to be unable to close on the person fleeing on foot.
26. Leg iron length of chain being used on handcuffs to allow the actor to escape.
27. A ‘masked’ actor with a distinctive speech pattern or unique voice remaining unidentified in the other persona by close friends and contacts.
28. A ‘blind’ character that doesn’t react to vibrations.
29. The doorbell rings or a knock on the door makes everybody jump and pull their guns, reacting like somebody is sneaking up on them by announcing their arrivial.
30. Love scenes that are drawn out to get the R rating.
31. Carrying an object that should be heavy as if it were empty.
32. Drinking from a beverage container that is obviously empty.
33. People who have clothing torn outwards when a bullet hole should nice and neat.
34. Wood that is splintered outward from inbound bullet strike.
35. Kicks and fist throws that obviously are going to be high above the target’s head.
36. The considerate foe that will hold back the sword/knife strike when the target is vulnerable performing a fancy spin.
37. The attacker needs to close on the target quickly, but instead does a time consuming set of back flips during which the considerate target doesn’t shoot or move.
38. Ancient dusty Tunnels/Mazes with falling apart floors. Bodies indicate other explorers who died. Who put the floor together or rearmed the weapon systems?
39. Entertainment Shows that must cut to the audience so that we will know that they are having fun viewing the entertainment. I want to see the show not the other people who are ‘being entertained’.
40. Laugh Tracks that don’t fit. They may be too loud. Heavy handed tracks that shout at you … This is the funny part/joke you must laugh now! Roaring laughter that only proves that the show isn’t worth a chuckle.
41. Background music that is almost as loud as the dialogue being spoken.
42. When it’s obvious that all the good-guys drive a specific car mfg.’s models and all the bad-guys drive a competitor’s cars.
43. Person being tailed is followed by an unusual type vehicle and/or vehicle that has bright colour, yet they don’t notice it.
44. Macho characters who won’t wear seatbelts.
45. Vehicle drivers can see person in road/on tracks but can only Honk their horns, never slowing or stopping with plenty of room.
46. Person is in possible combat situation yet only now cocks their single action automatic or jacks cartridge into chamber.
47. Has shotgun and has been in firefight, but when now confronting enemy has to jack a cartridge into the chamber, nothing ejects.
48. They have only a few seconds to move, but will stand there arguing over a tactic that is obvious to all, even them, and that they will make the decision to do anyway.
49. In an obviously wide open space. Yet when the actor turns around the horror is standing next to the actor.
50. ‘Silenced’ Revolvers (except the Russian Nagant M1895). Can’t be done because of cylinder to barrel gap. Neither can weapons that have Bullets that break the sound barrier. The Semi-Auto (.45 pistol) should make a clacky-clack (sound of the metal moving parts) not ‘Phhst’ when ‘silenced’.
51. Person is shot (usually a friend), The qualified Doctoror medic present just stands looking shocked while someone else manhandles the victum.
52. Loser story plot that involve a member of the Ensemble (or close friend or relative) being the 'victim'.
53. How about those Automatic Machine-Pistols. They normally have 32 round magazines, and fire 600-800 rounds per minute. So how come the baddies are shooting for three or four minutes without running out?
54. Have you seen the really cheap movies where they do a close-up of spent cartridges lying on the ground. Instead of dropping real empty casings they drop the real crimp nosed BLANK casings?
55. Actor holds flame to Fire sprinkler head. Instead of just the affected head ALL the Sprinkler heads in the Office/Building are set off.
56. Actor spends minutes bashing Hinge bracket of a Panic Bar on an exit door with a fire extinguisher. At the last second he kicks the panic bar, Guess what? The door opens.
57. Animal (croc) is chomping off body parts of the early victims in one bite. But, when it comes to the central characters it can’t seem to do more than hold on to them.
58. Cocking of revolver to threaten immenent danger to 'victim'. Just watched a TV show where the same revolver was cocked FIVE times in five minutes as a threat to the same person.
59. 'Boss' charators who can't hold their heads up. You know, always tilted especiall whn asking questions.
60. Clickity, Clickity. People that tap computer keyboards rapidly, especially form standing postions. Have you ever tried it... Also, they almost nevr use mice.
61. Actor carefully and unnaturatly doesn't look in the direction of what will 'suprise' everyone.
62. Bad Science. I see the writers don't know about skunks. The skunk must face you when they flip their tails at you. They can't spray from behind.
63. Running to catch the lift (elevator) the actor pounds on the door instead of triping the safty bar as it closes.
‘TV Reality Courts’
I watched Judge Judy and can understand why she was retired from the bench. And the Nancy Grace shows. This woman is scary as an obviously biased commentator. Both of these women are positively frightening as mediators let alone adjudicators.
All these ‘courts’ seem to be entertainment based on humiliation, along with ‘witty’ judicial comments. It’s a good thing that the participants are being paid to be on the show. Much like professional wrestling.
TELEVISION NEWS I don’t like:
A. News Readers (casters) who pretend they are Reporters. (Evidenced by not understanding the item they are reading.)
B. Casters who joke with each other. Usually making embarrassing ad libs.
C. Casters who make jokes about the article they read.
D. Casters who talk to each other rather than the camera (Me).
E. Promo’s that say ‘Coming up next.’ Next being half an hour later, usually the last minute of the broadcast.
F. News promo blurbs that imply more information will be revealed later, but turn out to contain all of the news item.
G. “The authorities are looking for the unknown alleged perpetrator.” (They are looking for the unknown perpetrator. There’s nothing alleged about it.)
H. Reporters that interview other Reporters, as if the other Reporter was a participant in the news item.
I. Casters who recap a speech and change the words or tone of the speaker. (The speaker says "... and twenty thousand women and children died in the camp from starvation ... " the Caster recap "... says twenty thousand soldiers died in the camp.")
J. An interview where the Ego of the interviewer requires frequent cuts to watch the interviewer nod as the subject responds.
K. Interviews/Hosts that don’t get the ‘proper’ or expected response to a question, which results in the Interviewer/Host talking over or shouting down the response, even going so far as to tell the responder to “shut up”. I saw one show where the Interviewer/Host ordered the responders microphone to be turned off and called for security to remove the ‘guest’. The guest remained totally calm while trying to state his position on the subject.
“With all due respect, ….” (A form of dumb insolence.)
"It's the least I can do..." (Isn't that a slap in the face.)
"it averages 5-10" (Come on, an average is a 'definate' like 7, not a span.)
"At this point in time." (When else would it be.)
WHAT I LIKE:
a. Prologue scenes in or under the Credits
b. Big Named stars killed or written out during, especially early, in the movie.
c. Endings where the ‘hero(ines)’ don’t make it.
d. Theme music playing from a radio/source in the movie rather than over it.
e. A reference to another movie’s character, scene, movie or TV show.
f. Some obvious product placements. (You know, cans of soda always placed with the label showing. Low angle shots that just happen to get the stores sign/truck box in view.)
Edited by lil weasel, 07 May 2011 - 03:11 PM.