"Humans Can Lick, Too"
| A young girl named Lisa was left alone on several accounts as her parents worked late. Her parents bought her a dog to keep her company. One night Lisa was awoken by a constant dripping sound. She got up and went to the kitchen to turn off the tap properly. As she was getting back into the bed she stuck her hand under the bed and the dog licked it. The dripping sound continued, so she went to the bathroom and turned off the tap properly in there, too. She went back to her bedroom and stuck her hand under the bed, and the dog licked it again. But the dripping continued, so she went outside and turned off the taps out there. She came back to bed, stuck her hand under it, and the dog licked it again. |
The dripping continued, drip, drip, drip. This time she listened and located the source of the dripping — it was coming from her cupboard. She opened the cupboard door, and there was her dog hanging upside down with its neck cut, and written on the window on the inside of the cupboard was, "HUMANS CAN LICK TOO!!!"
"The Killer in the Back Seat"
| One night a woman went out for drinks with her girlfriends. She left the bar fairly late at night, got in her car and onto the deserted highway. She noticed a lone pair of headlights in her rear-view mirror, approaching at a pace just slightly quicker than hers. As the car pulled up behind her she glanced and saw the turn signal on — the car was going to pass — when suddenly it swerved back behind her, pulled up dangerously close to her tailgate and the brights flashed. |
Now she was getting nervous. The lights dimmed for a moment and then the brights came back on and the car behind her surged forward. The frightened woman struggled to keep her eyes on the road and fought the urge to look at the car behind her. Finally, her exit approached but the car continued to follow, flashing the brights periodically.
Through every stoplight and turn, it followed her until she pulled into her driveway. She figured her only hope was to make a mad dash into the house and call the police. As she flew from the car, so did the driver of the car behind her — and he screamed, "Lock the door and call the police! Call 911!"
When the police arrived the horrible truth was finally revealed to the woman. The man in the car had been trying to save her. As he pulled up behind her and his headlights illuminated her car, he saw the silhouette of a man with a butcher knife rising up from the back seat to stab her, so he flashed his brights and the figure crouched back down.
The moral of the story: Always check the back seat!
Anyone know any good ones?