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The Precinct

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athande
  • athande

    MDCCLXXVI

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#751

Posted 18 May 2013 - 01:53 AM

QUOTE (Voodoo @ Friday, May 17 2013, 23:00)
QUOTE (Coat. @ Friday, May 17 2013, 05:37)
Feel four up

I find your response to the bacon question disturbing but this shows promise. We'll get back to you.

Didn't even notice that typo. I guess I was rushing it. Thanks for taking your time to read the application by the way.

Xcommunicated
  • Xcommunicated

    A Stitch in Time C9

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#752

Posted 18 May 2013 - 11:03 PM

Rather than playing this power struggle of locking and unlocking the topic in stealth mode (no idea who initially locked it and no idea who unlocked or who then locked it again, etc.), let's take a look at what's going on here. According to the forum guidelines there is no rule about a topic expiring. This topic may have been dead for a year, but as far as I can see, there is no problem with renewing this gang and this topic as is. Reopened, again.

athande
  • athande

    MDCCLXXVI

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#753

Posted 13 June 2013 - 09:54 AM

QUOTE
We'll get back to you.

Are you fellas hibernating?

GTA-King
  • GTA-King

    I was alive.

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#754

Posted 29 July 2013 - 09:34 AM Edited by GTA-King, 29 July 2013 - 10:07 AM.

01) State in 3 words or less why you should be allowed into The Academy. My. Milkshake. Rocks.

02) What is your view and opinion on gangs? Eat the rich, spare the poor.

03) Why is The Academy superior to other gangs, including your current one? It is at least something, because my current gang is nonexistent. :[

04) There are five empty glasses, what do you do? Urinate in 3, pour Mountain Dew in 2. Chaos.

05) Describe, in your own words, what "in your own words" means. (37 character maximum) Nonsensééééééééééééééééééééééééééééé.

06) In the event of a fire do you:
A) run off screaming like a little bitch?
B) break the glass?
C) stand there saying "It wasn't me and you can't prove it was"?
D) find out what nearby is flammable?
E) walk calmly out of the building telling everyone to keep calm and stop running and it'll be ok?
F) run out the building faster than everyone else so you can barricade the door (hmm, barbecue)?

07) Why are you answering all of these questions. Curiosity, with a hint of wonder.

08) Who is more beautiful?
A) Mr.Miffusle
B) Mr.Miffusle
C) Mr.Miffusle
D) All of the above

09) What/who is your favourite 80's band/artist ? Duran Duran.

10) STOP LOOKIING AT ME!!! (y/n) y

11) Does he look like a bitch? What?!

12) Who's the boss? You'z da boss, balls.

13) You just won the extra big bear at the state fair playing ring toss. What do you do next? Stick my pecker in the mouth.

14) Does he look like a bitch? No!!!

15) Would you have sex with your father to save your sister? Depends on the context, obviously.

16) You have the choice between studying for a test, going out with your girlfriend/boyfriend, or getting completely trashed and running naked through the Student Center. What grade do you receive on the test, and why? (56 char max)D because bitches love the 8===============================D.

17) White-powdered or glazed? Cocaine for my membrane.

18) If you take a squirrel and sellotape an owl on to it, what type of expression would you have on your face while doing this ? ^_^

19) Terrorists come into your room holding guns to the heads of your girlfriend/boyfriend, parents, dealer and local pet shop owner. How many sherbet lemons and cola cans will it take to make an exact replica of the HMS Belfast? 56.

20) Whats your favorite type of bacon?
A) Normal
B) Maple
C) Turkey
D) I dont like bacon (I'm not getting into TA)

21) Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? WHAT?!

22) Is it wrong to hit women? Again, depends on the context.

23) Even if you are drunk and pretty sure that they probably deserve it? Drunkenness never needs a context.

24) What do you think of Digïtál £vîl? user posted image

25) Boxers or briefs? Boxers, but only briefly.

26) Using only MS Paint, draw a picture of your ideal woman/man, make this picture as detailed as possible. user posted image

27) How much would you have to be paid to put naked pictures of yourself onto the internet? $8,675,309

28) Name one thing you regret doing. Not wiping better earlier.

Voodoo
  • Voodoo

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#755

Posted 09 January 2014 - 06:04 PM

You're in! Oh wait, you're B&.

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The Leviathan
  • The Leviathan

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#756

Posted 02 February 2014 - 10:53 PM

I am reincarnated!

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Voodoo
  • Voodoo

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#757

Posted 02 February 2014 - 11:07 PM

OKTbWWn.gif

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Moonshield
  • Moonshield

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#758

Posted 18 April 2014 - 05:37 PM

Great session last night fellas, we really were those heroes!


Sentrion
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#759

Posted 18 April 2014 - 05:40 PM

Welcome back to the MP scene fellas.
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TEoS
  • TEoS

    Say pal, you don't look so good.

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#760

Posted 18 April 2014 - 05:43 PM

We never left. We are a group of silent guardians... watchful protectors... Hot Cops!

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Sentrion
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#761

Posted 18 April 2014 - 05:50 PM

We never left. We are a group of silent guardians... watchful protectors... Hot Cops!

You mean, the shadows?
Spoiler
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Sauron
  • Sauron

    chillin' like a mega villain

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#762

Posted 18 April 2014 - 06:54 PM

We live our lives like candles in the wind.


Voodoo
  • Voodoo

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#763

Posted 18 April 2014 - 07:49 PM

KP21ajN.png

 

Great turnout for last night's meetup, guys!

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Sauron
  • Sauron

    chillin' like a mega villain

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#764

Posted 18 April 2014 - 09:09 PM Edited by Sauron, 18 April 2014 - 09:10 PM.

Alright bros, so last week I was staying in a hostel and I had two things stolen from my bag. First up my cologne, someone stole my delicious smelling cologne. I could live with that, but the second thievery was a little more mystifying and disturbing. They stole my motherf*cking roll on deodorant. What kind of sick f*ck steals roll on deodarant. I can picture him now, sniffing my arm pit, deodorant and sucking on my under arm pubes. There are some sick people out there cadets, tread lightly.

 

ed: Why is my post in a white box? WHY!?


WHAT!?
  • WHAT!?

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#765

Posted 18 April 2014 - 09:58 PM

I'm leaving this everywhere today.

 

 

I should be online Saturday... at some point.


Sauron
  • Sauron

    chillin' like a mega villain

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#766

Posted 19 April 2014 - 10:41 AM

I just want you guys to know I will never be online EVER! But, I am here to chat and console you guys if you ever need to talk about anything, and I mean ANYTHING!

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WHAT!?
  • WHAT!?

    WHAT!?

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#767

Posted 19 April 2014 - 12:43 PM

Dear Sauron,

Women didn't appreciate me when I was in high school. This has prevented me from seeking meaningful relationships since deep down I just want to feel wanted. I've been sleeping with hookers and I drink a lot. I don't want to live this life anymore, what should I do?

Sauron
  • Sauron

    chillin' like a mega villain

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#768

Posted 19 April 2014 - 01:16 PM

I've got your back on this one bro, I've read the game TWICE. First thing you gotta do is work on your confidence and throw on some nice clothes. I'd recommend some skinny jeans and a plain white shirt. Now it's time to turn your drinking to your advantage hit the bar and start approaching every girl you see. Be a motherf*cking hornet attacking it's prey. Open those bitches by asking for some opinions, do girls or boys lie more? do blondes have more fun? By now they should start to feel comfortable around you, find some things out about them and feel free to drop some of your own knowledge at this point or a roofie and you're on. Game, set, match, you're the man. Next!


Harley
  • Harley

    Cyclop 9

  • The Precinct
  • Joined: 18 Jul 2003
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#769

Posted 19 April 2014 - 01:29 PM

Dear Sauron,

The ring came off my pudding can
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Sauron
  • Sauron

    chillin' like a mega villain

  • The Precinct
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#770

Posted 19 April 2014 - 01:36 PM

Okay Harley, this is a sign from God. And by god I mean the ruler of Middle Earth and your saviour myself. You were not meant to possess the one ring similar to that short little f*cking fat hobbit Frodo and you were certainly not meant to devour the contents of that can. Do not eat the pudding whatever you do, your heart, your arteries, your waistband and most importantly your anus will thank you. Next!


Voodoo
  • Voodoo

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#771

Posted 19 April 2014 - 02:11 PM

Dear Sauron,

 

My dog has a severe flatulence problem, so much so that it's difficult to be in the same room with him for longer than five minutes. I'm so stressed out and I just don't know what to do. Last week, I finally convinced my co-worker Lisa (Pisces) to join me for an evening of Stratego ($12.99 at Target) at my place. Gordo, my dog (Cancer), was busy sniffing crotches under the card table when a terrible odor began to permeate the room. I was mortified! I love my dog and would not want to embarrass him in mixed company so I took credit for the stench. Needless to say, Lisa was less than impressed and the fancy ($11 at Piggly Wiggly) bottle of pinot noir that I had stashed away for post-coitus refreshment had to go to waste.

 

Gordo will only eat Hormel Mini Corn Dogs ($5/dozen at Safeway). When I attempted to feed him an off brand ($3/dozen at Walmart) he nearly bit half of my face off. I don't think his diet is the problem though. What should I do?

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Daz
  • Daz

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#772

Posted 19 April 2014 - 02:30 PM

Well well well, what have we here?

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Sauron
  • Sauron

    chillin' like a mega villain

  • The Precinct
  • Joined: 07 Jul 2002

#773

Posted 19 April 2014 - 04:41 PM

Alright Voodoo sounds like a tough situation but here's the thing, Gordo is your dog, you are his master. Gordo needs a firm hand, an iron hand even a GOLD HAND, similar to Jamie Lannister. Don't be taking no sh*t, give him a 20 minute window to eat his food, if he doesn't deliver then starve that motherf*cker like Joseph Fritzel and his daughters. He'll learn his lesson and then he'll be lapping up whatever you give him, sh*t he'll be pumped for some Taco Bell when you are done with him. Now when a potential mate moves into your territory kick his stinky ass outside, you don't want him humping your leg and embarrassing you in front of your woman. It's all about tough love motherf*cker and Gordo will love you more for it. Next!


WHAT!?
  • WHAT!?

    WHAT!?

  • The Precinct
  • Joined: 23 Aug 2002
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#774

Posted 22 April 2014 - 06:44 PM

I've got your back on this one bro, I've read the game TWICE. First thing you gotta do is work on your confidence and throw on some nice clothes. I'd recommend some skinny jeans and a plain white shirt. Now it's time to turn your drinking to your advantage hit the bar and start approaching every girl you see. Be a motherf*cking hornet attacking it's prey. Open those bitches by asking for some opinions, do girls or boys lie more? do blondes have more fun? By now they should start to feel comfortable around you, find some things out about them and feel free to drop some of your own knowledge at this point or a roofie and you're on. Game, set, match, you're the man. Next!

So, I tried your advice. I put on a plain white tee and rolled a pack of Marlboro's into the sleeve (for extra cool points). Then I went to the bar and started betting girls I could pick their shot of choice, if I could or couldn't it didn't matter, they were taking insane amounts of whatever I whipped up! Once their speech started to slur I didn't even have to put together intelligible sentences. I'd just say sh*t like "you is what pretty be" then I'd knock out her sober friend and drag her off! It really is too easy! Even with the jail time, I feel like I've really found myself!

 

THANKS SAURON!

 

ocydeEh.jpg

Truly yours,

H.R. WHATENSHTIENER.


Harley
  • Harley

    Cyclop 9

  • The Precinct
  • Joined: 18 Jul 2003
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#775

Posted 24 April 2014 - 07:19 AM

Dear Sauron,

I haven't eaten in four days and I am wasting away fast. I lost a toe yesterday.
Following your advice I abandoned the pudding can and any other puddings in my household. Unfortunately I live in a small town that is very focused on pudding. There really isn't much else sold in our stores. In fact my state is in the center of the famous 'Dessert Belt'.
Now I've heard of some neighbours getting hold of turnips by special order, but they don't come cheap.

Should I go back to eating 42 cans of the devil pudding a day or do I try and score some turnips? How do turnips taste? Are they sold in a can?

Rewas
  • Rewas

    To Derp or not to Derp....

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#776

Posted 24 April 2014 - 03:46 PM

So this is how Heaven looks like.


WHAT!?
  • WHAT!?

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#777

Posted 25 April 2014 - 02:26 PM

So this is how Heaven looks like.

sMKGjL2.jpg

It is doe.


Voodoo
  • Voodoo

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#778

Posted 25 April 2014 - 10:48 PM

gZyJZ3a.jpg

 

Nupe.

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The Leviathan
  • The Leviathan

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#779

Posted 26 April 2014 - 04:28 PM

May I come in?


Nuka
  • Nuka

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#780

Posted 26 April 2014 - 04:31 PM

May I come in?


No.
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