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GTA: Monarch City

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DanManUtd
  • DanManUtd

    Doesn't support United anymore

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#1

Posted 23 July 2009 - 01:43 PM Edited by DanManUtd, 23 October 2009 - 10:10 AM.

GTA: Monarch City

Content (In descending order):
    Post 1
  • Artwork
  • Story
  • Characters
  • Gangs
  • Added Gameplay/Content
  • Wanted System
  • Weapons
  • Radios
  • Side Missions

    Post 2
  • Cars
  • Easter Eggs/Other Miscellaneous items
Artwork
user posted image
Another
And Another...

Story:

Background:
England is well known for football's fanatical side. Football Hooliganism included fighting, throwing of objects and sometimes led to death for some. Football teams' 'hardcore' fans would attack the opposing teams' supporters and even destroy parts of their stadium (ripping up chairs etc).

Beginning of game:
It is 1998. You play a man called Brian Henderson (currently aged 19), a football hooligan and a devoted fan to England and Milton FC, he's also part of the Milton Bushwackers. You play a few missions in enclosed areas, in these missions, you learn how to fight, use melee weapons and driving. The final mission set in 1998 takes place in and around a Monarch city derby match with West Hart FC, where you learn to throw and pick up things (like in IV) and how to grab. You then get arrested by Riot police. You have a older brother, Michael (aged 22 and also part of the Milton Bushwackers) and a dad called John (aged 49). Brian's mother died when he was 10.

Cutscenes before actual game:
You see Brian getting sentenced and him going to prison whilst the credits roll...

The actual game:
Brian's 10 (trials date was after '98) year sentence is up and he's out of prison, but he has little education, a bad record, no money and the Bushwackers have dissolved, what will he do?

The first part of the game you see Brian standing outside Clackenville Prison, he calls his brother, but there's no answer, you learn how to use the Monarch City Underground which you take back to your dads house. He reveals he's a middle-ranking man in the Preston Firm and you tell him you're looking for money for a house, a series (about 6-7) of missions involving robberies, murders, car thefts and muggings you move on after your father recommended you to the head of the Preston Firm, Mr. Richard Preston III, he gives you more high-end, higher pay jobs, such as kidnapping, murder, arson etc. Eventually he then recommends you to his upper-class friends, one takes you up, his name being Mr. Alfred Wellington (this is where all the British stereotypes come out), you do missions for him and he becomes your friend.

This is the turning point... You get home from your last mission, you find your dad dead and your brother and Mr. Preston (later dies) wounded badly (mission to take him to hospital). You then find out that your father was in severe debt and he had a meeting with Mr. Preston to discuss more pay and a loan to pay off Loan Sharks. Despite your father's death you keep living in the house. Funeral day comes, all his friends turn up, including Alfred Wellington and Horaz Sefagili, a member of the Sefagili Turkish Mafia. During the funeral, the loan sharks come and attack and try to destroy the coffin (like in IV), you try to drive off, Alfred and Horaz come to help (your brother cannot, he's in hospital). After the mission and the killing of the attackers you learn that also the killer of your father had connections with the Clackenworth Crime Syndicate (Irish Mob), Horaz is impressed with you gun handling skills, he offers you help in finding your father's killer exchange for you helping them. The Sefagilis are in a everlasting war against the CCS, a series of missions involves you being an agent in the CCS. The Turkish Mafia strand ends in a bloodbath fight in which the Turkish Mafia wins (you sided with them), you also found out your fathers killer now lives in Tacton Towers.

You then are called by Masat saying that there's a deal going on around Tacton Towers with the Yardies over Arms trade. He tells you to go down and watch them. Everything goes wrong, you are left with a bunch of dead Turkish-Cypriots and a load of Clackenworth-Allied Jamaicans. You return back to Masat in a fury, he explains everything, but Brian doesn't believe it. Whilst you're still friends with Horaz, you refuse to work for the Sefagilis. Without the backing of them Brian looks for a new gang to help him find Patrick Murphy. He finds the Bangladeshi Man Dem, a street gang based in Tacton Towers. In exchange for them helping you, you help them fight the SS 18's, a neo-Nazi gang. You then go on to kill their leader Keith Sage whilst he gets moved from Wickworth to Clackville Prison (similar to the O'Malley mission). You then find Patrick Murphy and he tells you that he was hired by the Loan Shark, Adnan Kachavic, unfortunately, he was part of the Albanian team that robbed Securitas in 2007, the UK's biggest robbery, and so has good protection. Brian then returned to the Preston Firm in Burwich. As this time, Michael was due out of hospital in which you meet up with him etc. During the time spent with the Turkish Mafia and the Bangladeshi Man Dem the Preston Firm fell apart, Brian thought that the only way of Adnan was rebuilding the Preston Firm with his brother and getting to him that way. After everything he'd done. The higher ranking members of the firm accepted him and his brother as the leader of the Preston Firm. After a few missions you do a bank job with your brother, Alfred Wellington and Horaz. The bank is where Adnan's money is kept. After, you and the Preston Firm are rich.
You do an arms deal with the Yardies in South London and meet Bobby McKenzie (Lil' Jacob with a different appearance and a weaker accent). As a friend you help him deal drugs to people, unfortunately one of the deals was tipped to the police in which you get caught.

Now it's in the final quarter of the story... You are then forced to work for the police you meet the man on the other side of the deal, Salim Ali Ahmed, a member of the Muslim Men, you become friends. You are moved to Central Monarch City and do errands for them, after you go back to Burwich and back to the Preston Firm. In which you expand the firm out west, an area with a lot less crime then places like Crayford, Burwich and Tacton Towers. After the success you then go off and kill Adnan.

Character's thus far:

NameAgeRace/NationalityGang AffiliationRolePhoto
Brian Henderson22/33Caucasian - EnglishMany...ProtangonistHere
Michael Henderson25/36Caucasian - EnglishPreston FirmMajor characterHere
Bazza Tollworth32Caucasian - EnglishNoneVery Minor character
Dave Jones24Caucasian - EnglishNoneVery Minor character
Kevin "Kev" Law32Caucasian - EnglishNoneVery Minor character
Henry "Henners" McKenzie20/30Afro-Caribbean - JamaicanYardiesMinor character and random encounter
John Henderson52/63Caucasian - EnglishPreston FirmMajor Character
Richard (Dick) Preston67Caucasian - EnglishPreston FirmHelper of Brian
Alfred Wellington II34Caucasian - EnglishNoneFriend of Brian
Horaz Sefagili25TurkishSefgili MafiaFriend of Brian


Gangs thus far:

user posted image - please note, I've used the real names on the map only!

NameInfluence/NotesTerritoryNotable Gang MembersWeaponsCars
Preston FirmFairly Influential, second cockney mafiaBurwichRichard Preston (leader), John & Michael HendersonGlock 17, Benelli M3, MP5's (only for higher ranks)Ecord w/ bodykit, PMP 600 (only for higher ranks)
SefagilisOne of the biggest in Monarch CityCrayford, Boxley, Hamden, LexingtonHoraz Sefagilis, Masat Sefagilis (leader)Tec-9's, Desert Eagles, Remington 1300Dilletante w/ bodykit, Faction w/ unique paintjob and spoiler
Clackenworth Crime SyndicateOne of the biggest, if not the biggestIllington, Havingrey, Washam Forest, DenfordPartick Murphy, (father's murderer) and Mike Adams (leader)Uzi's, Desert Eagle's, Benelli M3, and on the occasional member and AK-47Turismo (for higher ranks), Cognoscenti (for higher ranks), Faction w/ bodykit
Football HooligansVery Minor, only appear at weekendsEverywhere that has a football groundFormerly Brian and Michael HendersonCricket Bats, Knives, usually fight bare knuckleN/A, normally walk or take public transport
ChavsVery Minor, normally wander alone or in groups of thressCertain locations i.e rough areasN/AKnives, normally bare knuckle when the cowards actually fight without a knifeFactions w/ bodykits and stereo boosts
Colombian CartelsMinor, no locations, but they are aroundN/AN/AGlock 17, occasionally a Tec-9, knivesSentinel (mafia version), Isuko's
Monarch PosseVery influential, very powerfulHavingrey, Latbath, Bronk, HackleyHenners, Bobby McKenzieDesert Eagle, Benelli M3, MP5Rastah Huntleys, custom Isuko's and custom Factions
Brasileiro mafaNot very influential, only do behind-the-scene crimes like fraud and drug-dealingBronkRobson Pereira CathosKnives, Glock 17, occasionally a Tec-9Custom Sentinels (different to mafia's) and custom Oracles
Packham BoysQuite InfluentialSouthbridgeB-Tip, FlowUzi, Glock 17, Combat KnivesCustom Dilletantes, Factions, Lokus
Gangsta CrewQuite InfluentialLexingtonTino, DunknoUzi, Glock 17, Combat KnivesCustom Dilletantes, Factions, Lokus (all different to Packham Boyz)
Latbath Man Demslightly less Influential than the Gangsta Crew and the Packham BoyzLatbathOl' Father KillaUzi, Glock 17, Combat KnivesCustom Fortunes and Merits
B.A.M (Bitch£s and Mon£y)Equal to L.M.DMatbathGreezy, TaitoUzi, Glock 17, Combat KnivesCustom Vincents
TriadsNot that Influential, but are a strong unitWellingtonN/A (maybe Woozie)Uzi, Glock 17, Combat KnivesCustom Feroci's and Intruders

Added Gameplay:
- Marked Cars: These are cars that when marked appear outside your house where the respawn until you unmark them (Note: They only respawn if you destroy the car or if you lose it). You're allowed one marked car per house.

- Gun Shops: There are two types of Gun Shop:
- Legal: These allow you to buy legal guns after you pass the shooting range challenge.
- Illegal: These allow you to buy Illegal and homemade weapons and parts for guns without needing to pass the shooting range, but they are more expensive.
- There are also hardware shops.

- Mobile phone: although it hasn at changed much, there are different types and you have the ability to save photos

- Robberies: There are three types of robbery: Ram-raiding, an ordinary robbery and a smash and grab.

- Ram-raiding is when you ram a car into the shop* and take whatever.

- And a smash and grab robbery when the objective is to take products from the shop window when you smash it **.

- And an ordinary robbery is similar to the one in Vice City except the type of shop depends on the wanted level:

Any kind of small-sized shop = **
Any kind of medium-sized shop (this includes small jewelry shops and betting shops) = ***
Any kind of large shop = ****

* = You need a car that has been modified for this, or a simple pick-up will do. After you can empty the shop
**= You need a handheld weapon of some sort. The items will be automatically transformed into money.

Car Modification: San Andreas' car customization is back! Not a day goes by that I don't see a car that hasn't been modified in any way. Good for racing and your car can be imported to online racing. Combined with the marked car feature, you shouldn't feel the need to stock it at the back of your garage.
Modifications include:
- Performance parts - exhaust, engine, brakes, suspension
- Body Work - front/back bumper, hood, spoiler, sound system, side skirts, tinting, rims, neon, lights
- Decals/paint, set paintwork, or you can select the type of paint with the colour circle.
- Other - Armour plating, Bullet proof glass
- Motorbikes can now also be customised.

Pay 'N' Sprays
- You can now choose the colour of your car.
- You can also choose if you want just a repair.

Slashing tyres:

- This can be done with any knife.

Things to do
- Side Missions - Taxi Missions
- Random Encounters
- Tags
- Robberies
- Events - Comedy Club, Music Concerts, Theatre
- Pub Quiz
- Firearms Certificate (shooting range)
- Paintballing
- Go-Karting
- Playing football

Places to go
- Paintballing (non-lethal shooting)
- Go-Karting
- Football Stadiums
- Landmarks
- Comedy Club
- Pubs - includes drinking, darts and sometimes pool
- Music Venues
- Theatres
- Nightclubs
- Strip Clubs
- Takeaways - randomized between Kebabs, Fish and Chips, Pizza and Chicken.
- Main restaurants - Burger Shot, Cluckin' Bell, Garrys Bakers, Farmer's

Murders:
- Murders are simply ways of killing people without getting noticed. The radar will appear blue (like in SA) or dark-blue.
- Dark-blue means upon killing no-one will call the police.
- Blue means that the police will be called, but if you get out of a zone (will be marked) you will not receive a wanted level.
- This is effected by location, weapon and other ambiance (them screaming etc).

Grabbing:
- Pushing a button will grab a person (dead or alive).
- If they're alive, you have a certain amount of time before they break free.
- Beit dead or alive, you can put them in your car's boot, or you can move them out of sight.

Random Enounters:
-They can now lead to strands of missions (they don't effect the main story), this leads to extra bonus's.

Gang Friendliness:
- Starts as neutral for all gangs.
- As the game goes on all gangs will feature at some point (whether it be in a side mission or a story mission)
- As you complete missions your 'respect-o-meter' with the gangs will change.
- The order goes: [LIST]
Hated - Will be attacked on sight
Untrusted - Will be attacked if you pull out any weapon or if you harm anyone even if there's a police presence
•Neutral - Will be attacked if you kill a civilian or if you pulled out a gun with no police presence
Trusted - Will help if you're getting mugged. Will only attack if you harm a gang member. Both will only happen with no police presence
Friendly - Will help when there's police and mugging. Will only attack if you kill a gang member (obviously the member will retaliate if punched). They also know who you are.

Random attacks:
- These include muggings, attempted murders/assassinations and revenge strikes*
- You can also find others getting this, women can be seen getting attacked and thrown to the floor. When spotted the original attacker attacks you or runs. Whichever if he's gone the woman/man gives you a small amount of cash in return for your help.

*= Revenge kills happen when a gang member is killed, these only happen occasionally. However if you kill a higher ranking member (they ride in better cars and have bodyguards with good weapons), there DEFINATELY will be a hit on you.

Mail:

- By pushing L1 at your door you can pick up letters. These can contain anything, from hitman requests to blackmail.

Wanted System:

StarsEffectsWeapons UsedVehicles UsedHow to get this wanted level
*One copper chasing you on foot, you will get fined but not bustedBatonNoneFighting (with hands), hitting a police car, arson on a car (no one inside)
**A few coppers are after you, you will get bustedStun guns, batons, Glock 17sOne normal police car (2 coppers, but both APO's)Assault or murder (with melee weapon), fighting with a copper, robbery, burglary, armed whilst having a *
***Multiple coppers are after you, still can get busted.Glocks, Benelli M3 Super 902 Police cars (2 coppers each), 1 Sultan Police car(2 coppers)Killing with a gun (doesn't matter who), multiple killings with a melee weapon, robbery
****Lots of coppers are on you, even called out the chopper and the more heavy duty SO19's, it's shoot on sight from now onSultan police cars (2 coppers), Police vans with 5-6 coppers in them, 1 Helicopter, 1 News helicopterMP5's, Benelli M3'sterrorism (car bombs, grenades etc), killing multiple coppers, killing lots of civilians, robbery
*****The police are pissed, bigger better weapons and vehicles are on the menuMany SO19 vans that have been upgraded, many sultan cars, many Isuko'sBenelli M3, MP5, Glock, G3SG1 Sniper Rifle, G36. Snipers appear on roofs higher than you.Killing lots of coppers, extreme terrorism (RPG's, excessive use of grenades)
******Now the army are pissed, and now you're f*cked.SO19 vans, 2 Hunters, many armoured Mesa's, Rhino'sAll previous mentioned, however, the soldiers are more accurate and take better cover.Essentially just causing carnage.
Other notable Police:
- Plain Uniform officers, not a set presence, but if you cause trouble near them they'll arrest you.
- Riot Police, only present when there are riots.


The Weapons are:

Pistols:Shotguns:SMGs:Assault:Rifles:Heavy:Thrown:Melee:
Glock 17* - Illegal
Desert Eagle - Illegal
Skorpion* - Illegal
Remington 870 - Legal
Sawn-Off Shotgun - Illegal
Benelli M3 - Illegal
Tec-9 - Illegal
Uzi - Illegal
MP5* - Illegal
AK47 - Illegal
G36 - Illegal
M4 Carbine* - Illegal
Karabiner 98 Kurz - Legal
PSG1 Sniper Rifle - Illegal
Drugunov Sniper Rifle - Illegal
Tear Gas - Illegal
Molotov cocktail - Illegal
Grenade - Illegal
Satchel Charge - Illegal
Flame Thrower - Illegal
RPG - Illegal
Minigun - Illegal
Screwdriver** - Hardware
Hammer - Hardware
Shovel - Hardware
Meat Cleaver - Hardware
Ice Pick** - Hardware
Knife** - Hardware
Cricket Bat - Hardware
Combat Knife** - Illegal
Chainsaw - Hardware

Notes:

- Satchel charges can be placed under cars
*= Can have suppressors on them
**= Can perform a stealth kill

Radios:

NameFormatDJSongs so farImage
MC Radio loosely based on Rinse FMGrime/UK Hip-HopMC KoolRoll Deep - Badman
Skepta - King of Grime
Skepta feat. Jammer - I Spy
Boy Better Know - Too Many Man
Dizzee Rascal - Sirens
JME - 96 Bars Of Revenge
Frisco feat. Wiley - Best In The Game
Bashy - Kidulthood To Adulthood
Yes
ADD Radio 69 based on BBC Radio 1British MusicColin MilneN-Dubz - Papa
Elbow - Grounds For Divorce
Razorlight - Before I Fall To Pieces
Yes
Africa's Voice based on Voice of AfricaAfrican talk and musicSunday KorbayeChopteeth - J.J.D
Mr. Something Something - Sound the Alarm
Yes
Babylon FMReggaeDJ BadWhen I Call - Chezidek
Only Rastafari - Chezidek
Blacko - Faya Time
Sizzla - YesterdayRichie Spice feat. Bushman
Collie Buddz - She Gimme Love
Kind General & Bush Chemists - Hot Stepper
Yes
Fun Time! based on Kids Time!Automated MessageAutomated message stating "The children, they're all...gone..."N/AYes
Gdansk by Krakow based on Polish London RadioPolish Issues and talkZnakomitosc ChciecbycN/AYes
Smooch 100 based on Kiss 100R 'n' B predominantley AmericanRoss CampbellN/ANot Yet
Greek Radio based on London Greek RadioGreek issues Issues and talk and Greek and Cypriot MusicStelios PianngakopoulousNot yetYes
Istanbul Radio based on London Turkish RadioTurkish Issues and TalkErdiz FalcanN/AYes
Hits FMClassic HitsGeorge BraughtonThe Verve-Bittersweet Symphony
Donna Lewis-Love You Always Forever
Yes
Ice Cold FM based on Chill FMChillout MuiscHarry JonesThe Verve-Bittersweet Symphony
Donna Lewis-Love You Always Forever
Yes
Shock Radio based on Point Blank FMElectro, Techno, European TechnoPierre "Bongo" van BonckN/YYes
SiKK Beatz FM based on Kool FMDrum 'n' BassPeter "Kool" Karl N/YYes
Side Missions

Random encounters (can lead to mission strands!)

- Pathos: He's finished promoting himself in LC and has now flown over the London to promote over the pond. He talks about Niko saving him.
- Bob: A Homeless drunk and crack addict, but they're ambushed by a gang, you kill them, the dealer's killed, Bob's now got loads of crack, and loads on money.
- Gangsta Crew/Packham Boyz/B.A.M: Both do the first mission with two people, leads to the same strand of mission against the L.M.D

Miscellaneous Missions:

- Taxi Missions
- Firefighter Missions
- Paramedic
- Alfred Wellington's Assassin Missions (after befriending)
- Rampages
- Illegal Street Racing

Story Missions:
- Milton Bushwackers 'R' Us
- A Nice Day For A Nice Blood-Shedding
- Derby Day
- Home Time
- Shoot The Bastard
- You're Fired!
Side Missions:
- Dem Latbath Boyz
- Pop 'em Where it 'urts

Please note that this thread is still under construction! And constructive comments and queries are welcomed with open arms!

Omnia sunt Communia
  • Omnia sunt Communia

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#2

Posted 23 July 2009 - 01:56 PM

It's refershing to see another London-based topic pop up amongst the sea of American locations, good job. Though the story is a bit far-fetched for my liking though that doesn't mean it's bad in anyway. I'd just prefer a London-based game to concentrate on the actual criminal side of London as opposed to some super secret government plot to foil a pair of Nigerians. No offence.

Also, as far as I'm aware, there aren't any "legal" gunshops in London that will sell you a high-tech shotgun. The most you're going to get is a double-barrelled shotgun and a .22 rifle. Those are about the only legal firearms in England.

DanManUtd
  • DanManUtd

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#3

Posted 23 July 2009 - 02:00 PM Edited by DanManUtd, 23 October 2009 - 10:22 AM.

SORRY, NEEDED THIS FOR CARRY-ON POST


Cars (so far):
As a general rule as well, Muscle cars are much rarer.

[td]
Sport:Muscle & Vintage:2 Door:4 Door:SUVs/Pickups:Industrial:
Locust
Infernus
Super GT
Cheetah
Banshee
Comet
Turismo
Coquette
Sultan RS
-Sentinel
Futo
Blista Compact
Faction RS
Ghost
Cognoscenti
Presidente
Admiral
Sultan
DF890
Isuko

Public Transportation
Sunny
Double Decker
Stuck

Easter Eggs
- Radio 69 (GTA humour, ripped-off Radio 1)
- ADD (ripped-off BBC)
- The Italian Job (name for a Pizza takeaway)
- A farmer's website selling chickens, it's called www.cocksrus.com, there's a message there talking how she thought it was porn website.

Miscellaneous others:
- A rough map of the Ethnicity of Monarch City.
- Languages spoken: 300+
- Notable Accents:
  • Posh (Queen's accent)
  • Cockney (Danny Dyer-esque accent)
  • Caribbean
  • Indian
  • Chinese
  • Japanese
  • Irish
  • Aussie
  • New Zealander
  • South African
  • Ghetto
  • Chav

Omnia sunt Communia
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#4

Posted 23 July 2009 - 02:11 PM

I just noticed the futuristic weapons part... Laser rifles? Really?

DanManUtd
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#5

Posted 23 July 2009 - 02:27 PM

QUOTE (Jacky Fiend @ Jul 23 2009, 14:11)
I just noticed the futuristic weapons part... Laser rifles? Really?

tounge.gif It was the Fallout...

Anyways I took them out and changed the Prologue.

Sanjeem
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#6

Posted 23 July 2009 - 02:31 PM

Not a bad start. The Story is a bit Ify. It's unusual, which is good in some-ways but i think you can improve it by telling us what happened after when he gets out of prison.

DanManUtd
  • DanManUtd

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#7

Posted 23 July 2009 - 02:35 PM

QUOTE (Sanjeem @ Jul 23 2009, 14:31)
Not a bad start. The Story is a bit Ify. It's unusual, which is good in some-ways but i think you can improve it by telling us what happened after when he gets out of prison.

Yeah I was thinking about that, but I'm not sure whether to do it how I did my prologue, or whether I should do the dialogues of the main missions.

Sanjeem
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#8

Posted 23 July 2009 - 05:06 PM

QUOTE (DanManUtd @ Jul 23 2009, 14:35)
QUOTE (Sanjeem @ Jul 23 2009, 14:31)
Not a bad start. The Story is a bit Ify. It's unusual, which is good in some-ways but i think you can improve it by telling us what happened after when he gets out of prison.

Yeah I was thinking about that, but I'm not sure whether to do it how I did my prologue, or whether I should do the dialogues of the main missions.

There are few ways

• You can just write the rest of the Story, like who he meets, who he gets back on, who betrayes him, and just notify his enemies and what happens when he gets out of prison e.t.c

• You could Write out All the missions you plan, bit by bit. For e.g mission 1: Then a short discription below it what he has to do, and who he works for etc. Thats a more of a quick way...it's a bit what i'm planning to do.

• Or you could write the missions in dialogue like you said, But to that for more than 10 missions would be Very hard though, So this 3rd choice is Not recomended


JayM
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#9

Posted 23 July 2009 - 05:49 PM

I like the sound of the robberies...and the look of Cheryl Cole on the cover art biggrin.gif

Severe
  • Severe

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#10

Posted 24 July 2009 - 08:46 PM

London is one of my two favourites for the next game. Or perhaps rather an amalgam of a few English cities, like London, Manchester and Birmingham and perhaps a little countryside.
At any rate, I can subscribe to many of your ideas, in particular one of the most important aspects of British culture (As seen by a foreigner): Football. Be it playing football, watching football or fighting over football. Football firms and the associated fights should play some part in the game. Mission, Side-mission or perhaps a friend-activity?
Paintballing seems a bit... redundant, seeing as you have guns and, unlike real-life, there isn't really a reason not to just use those.

But... the weapons.
I have gripes with a couple of them, primarily the minigun and also the flamethrower, for the sake of realism.
QCW-05? Why? How would an english gangster get his hands on a chinese submachinegun?
Red Ryder BB Gun? Fallout, I know, but a BB gun?
A Kar 98? If anything, shouldn't it be an old Lee-Enfield rifle?
Minor detail, but I'd prefer to see the Glock replaced by something like the SIG 226, a pistol actually used by UK police.
Plus, I'm a little bored with Glocks.
I would perhaps add a sawn-off and a revolver maybe.

You main character seems a little young, perhaps. Niko's 30, Johnny 35, Luis and Huang both 26. I dunno *shrugs*
I can't really see a problem with the story. Not how I would've made it, but that can hardly be considered an error.
Monarch City sounds a little dodgy though. For some reason I would like to call the it Burberry (City), but I doubt that'd pass.

All the things I've pointed out are just bits that seem illogical or misplaced. Then again, as a foreigner, what do I know? wink.gif
My thoughts on the rest of it are easily summed up: Nice ideas, well done, do add more.

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#11

Posted 27 July 2009 - 06:43 AM

There arent any gun shops in london apart from hunting shops and as Jacky mentioned they only sell hunting rifles and a double barrel shotgun.

And for the record if you get in any trouble with the police that requires weaponry they will just call swat at 3*s and you would have mp5's on your ass.

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#12

Posted 27 July 2009 - 01:55 PM

I think the police system would have to be tweaked a little, but you sure as hell wouldn't have to wait until the CO19 (British version of SWAT) before weapons are fired. Authorised Firearms Officers could be called out at 1 Star/2 Star and would carry pistols and shotguns (not realistic, but who cares?). Then the CO19 could be called at 4 Star, CID at 5 Star (to replace FIB) and SAS at 6 Star.

DanManUtd
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#13

Posted 27 July 2009 - 02:42 PM

Thanks, for the responses guys icon14.gif

QUOTE
At any rate, I can subscribe to many of your ideas, in particular one of the most important aspects of British culture (As seen by a foreigner): Football. Be it playing football, watching football or fighting over football. Football firms and the associated fights should play some part in the game. Mission, Side-mission or perhaps a friend-activity?


Yeah, I added that to activities (watching and playing). I'm also considering, changing the story to one based around football hooliganism (well at least has connections).

QUOTE
Paintballing seems a bit... redundant, seeing as you have guns and, unlike real-life, there isn't really a reason not to just use those.


Well, I was thinking it could be a friend activity ('cos I can't imagine you wanting to shoot your friends with live rounds)

QUOTE
I have gripes with a couple of them, primarily the minigun and also the flamethrower, for the sake of realism.


For realism, yes I'd agree, but for fun I'll keep them.

QUOTE
QCW-05? Why? How would an english gangster get his hands on a chinese submachinegun?


Where would a gangster get a RPG?

QUOTE
Red Ryder BB Gun? Fallout, I know, but a BB gun?


I wanted it too be like a starter gun or something cheap and easy to get.

QUOTE
Minor detail, but I'd prefer to see the Glock replaced by something like the SIG 226, a pistol actually used by UK police.


Glock's are used by the Met police...

QUOTE
I would perhaps add a sawn-off and a revolver maybe.


Maybe not a revolver, but a Sawn-Off shotgun most definitely icon14.gif

QUOTE
You main character seems a little young, perhaps. Niko's 30, Johnny 35, Luis and Huang both 26. I dunno *shrugs*


Yeah, I'm planning to change it anyway.

QUOTE
Monarch City sounds a little dodgy though. For some reason I would like to call the it Burberry (City), but I doubt that'd pass.


I came up with a few, Monarch City was the best I could come up with. London's a tough city to come up with a name for without actually using London or Londinium.

QUOTE
There arent any gun shops in london apart from hunting shops and as Jacky mentioned they only sell hunting rifles and a double barrel shotgun.


Yeah, there's so little guns, I'm thinking of removing Legal gun shops.

QUOTE
Authorised Firearms Officers could be called out at 1 Star/2 Star and would carry pistols and shotguns (not realistic, but who cares?).


Tbf, I thought they were the same thing.

QUOTE
CID at 5 Star (to replace FIB)


CID, they just investigate crime scenes.

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#14

Posted 27 July 2009 - 04:23 PM

Changed the story, what do you think? Better than the old or worse?

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#15

Posted 27 July 2009 - 06:50 PM

Story is quite good actually, though 14 years seems like a long sentence for hooliganism. Of course, I don't know what laws you have for it over there. Hooliganism seems like a good 'tutorial-platform'.

As for the RPG-arguement, then having an RPG is a fairly necessary concession, because it serves a very specific purpose that no other weapon can.
However, what role does a this Chinese SMG fulfill that an German SMG can't? Or Austrian if you want that more 'exotic' bullpup look.
There might have been some reason as for your very specific selection of that particular weapon.
But nevermind, not important.

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#16

Posted 27 July 2009 - 10:04 PM

Yeah 14 years, I Know a friend who's dad was arrested for attempted murder and he got off on 10 years.

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#17

Posted 28 July 2009 - 12:39 PM

Edited, and en lengthened the story.

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#18

Posted 28 July 2009 - 04:06 PM

Updated, with gangs.

Thoughts on how the story's getting on? Improvements etc?

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#19

Posted 28 July 2009 - 04:14 PM

I take it the Clackenworth Crime Syndicate is based on the real-life Clerkenwell Crime Syndicate? If so, then it may be an idea to include a fictionalized version of Charlie Sargent; he was the leader of the British neo-Nazi group Combat 18. You could include the Clackenworth's connections to the group who might use them for muscle (the Clerkenwells are also known to use Afro-Caribbean muscle, maybe the Yardies?)?

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#20

Posted 28 July 2009 - 04:16 PM

The only problem with Charlie Sargent is that he's in prison.

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#21

Posted 28 July 2009 - 04:23 PM

Include Combat 18 then maybe? Charlie Sargent could be leading the gang from inside prison, having a 'street leader' act as his face outside. You could name his gang: SS 88 or something similar (Combat 18 get their name from Adolf Hitler's initials: A and H being the 1st and 8th letter of the alphabet. 88 is the initials of SS leader Heinrich Himmler).

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#22

Posted 28 July 2009 - 04:25 PM

Ah, ok I'll see if I can incorporate it in somewhere, maybe you could work for him like we did for Gerry. Thanks icon14.gif

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#23

Posted 28 July 2009 - 04:27 PM

I don't know. It might be a bit controversial working for an neo-Nazi group and considering the fact that they work as enforcers for the Clerkenwell Crime Syndicate in real-life it would make more sense to have them work for the Crackenworths in-game.

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#24

Posted 28 July 2009 - 04:36 PM

Oh, ok, so I shall keep it as it is.

Also, do you think that it would be a good idea to keep the story going after the death of the antagonist?

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#25

Posted 28 July 2009 - 04:38 PM

Kind of defeats the object of the story then, doesn't it? tounge.gif

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#26

Posted 28 July 2009 - 04:39 PM

Oh yeah.

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#27

Posted 28 July 2009 - 05:47 PM

Finished the story, although it's a tad rushed.

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#28

Posted 31 July 2009 - 04:11 PM Edited by DanManUtd, 31 July 2009 - 04:20 PM.

I'm bored and I want an excuse to bump my topic tounge.gif : here is the First Mission Dialogue*.

*They've been written specifically to give them a Cockney accent

Key: Italics = background speech and actions, Bold = things that would appear in the corner

Mission 1: Milton Bushwackers 'R' Us

You're in your room in your dad's house.

There's a B where the door is (you cannot get out without activating the ' B ').


You get in the car and the dialogue initiates whilst being driven to the fight...

Michael: Took you long enough.

Brian: Shut up and drive ya dumb pikey.

Michael: Arr, did baby Brother 'ave a bad dream?

Brian: I assume you don't want ta sh*t out ya mouth? Sayin' that you do already talk a loada sh*t. Anyway, who are these clowns?

Michael: The one with the eyepatch is Bazza and the other is Da-

Bazza: You wanna know 'ow I got this?

Brian: Did your boyfriend give it ta ya?

Dave: Oi! I'm not his boy-

Bazza: You think ard shag that troll?


Silence Falls...

Michael: Oh look the Ledesham United Fans! Get ready guys, we're gonna do some dancin'.

You exit the car. The street is lined with just over a dozen fans on each side. Shouts of curse words can be heard constantly

Bazza: f*ckin' c*nts ar rip ya hearts aat! (He charges with a cricket bat).

The stand-off finishes everyone charges

Michael: Brian, 'elp me out, these scumbags can't fight fairly!

A red enemy marker is added to the minimap

The man is armed with a Cricket Bat. You can disarm him by pressing L1 (to Lock on) and then triangle as he swings. OR you can take him on by punching with circle or kicking with square .

Michael: Take that you northern sh*t!

Dave: f*ck it's the ol' bill!

Michael: Brian, Bazz, Dave to the car!


Now in the car.

Michael: sh*t that was close! There's even enough time ta see the game.

Dave: That was great. It's always nice to make braindead Ledesham fans even more braindead.

Brian: That's not possible, surely?

Michael: Well we're 'ere now, lets see if we can win twice in one day, ay?

Mission Complete
Rewards: A weapon, and money that's been dropped.

Thoughts on it? Is it rubbish or should I carry on? Also, if no one understands any of the words, please let me know smile.gif

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#29

Posted 01 August 2009 - 12:12 PM

Mission 2: A Nice Day For A Nice Blood-Shedding

There's still a B on the map.

You see Brian standing outside...

Brian: Where is that fat sh*t, 'e's supposed to be 'ere by now.


A matte white Mono with red 'go faster stripes'

Michael: You're lovin' ma new car eh?

Brian: Well it's better then that sh*tty Ecord. Where are the clowns?

Michael: They clowns f*cked off daan the pub to watch the game.

Brian: Oh, well anyway lets get going. Any scum bashing today?

Michael: Nah, the Brownpoole fans are f*ckin' chicken. Ahh sh*t, a traffic jam.

Brian: Well, we've only got about a 10 15 minute walk away, let's park up and 'ave a stroll.

Michael: (pulls into nearby a Car Park) Ok, Ok.


They get out of the car and make their way out of the car park

Linpoole fan: Get the Milton c*nts!

Michael: It's an ambush! Run!... And they've locked the gate! What should we do?


Brian now has the option of what to do, push L3 to choose "Look for another way" or R3 to "Take them on". The choice is yours.

If you selected the "another way" option, you both get into separate cars and make your way to the roof.

Brian: What about you car?

Michael: Leave her, I can get another...

Brian: Whereto then?

Michael: The roof there's baand to be sumin' there! Follow me!



To get in press triangle . To accelerate press R2. To brake press L2. X and R1 can be used as handbrake.

Talking window to window

Michael: OK, when I say you turn right and I turn left. I'll go pick up some muscle.

Brian: Ok, where do I go after?

Michael: Head back to the house, we'll ambush them there.

Brian: But what abaat the game?

Michael: f*ck the game, Milton are playing sh*t at the mo anyways.

Brian: Ok, lets rock 'n' roll.


You follow until Michael signals you to go right. A yellow marker is added to the map, it's for you to follow.

When you arrive you jump out and hide behind the car

Brian: I hope he knows what he's doing...


Michael arrives with Bazza and Dave armed with Glock 17s

Michael: Take that pikey scum!

Brian: Christ, you took your time.

Michael: It was planned Brian, it was planned.


NOW, if you pick the other option. Exactly the same happens except you get in the car and smash theirs, you then get away in Michael's Mono. You go home of fear that another bunch of hooligans will attack.


Mission Complete:
- Whatever you picked up
- Friendship with Michael

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#30

Posted 01 August 2009 - 12:18 PM

lol.gif I like some dialoge of the first missions like "It's the ol'Bill" Nice one mate




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