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The Joke Thread

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Neon_Dreaming
  • Neon_Dreaming

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#2521

Posted 19 March 2018 - 02:15 PM

A highly timid little man, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?

A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his stool, looked down at the quivering little man and said, Its my dog. Why?

Well, squeaked the little man, obviously very nervous, I believe my dog just killed it, sir.

What? roared the big man in disbelief, What in the world kind of dog do you have?

Sir, answered the little man, its a little four week old female puppy.

Bull! roared the biker, how could your puppy kill my Doberman?

It appears that your dog choked on her, sir!




An old man drove past me on a tractor this morning and told me the end was nigh...

I think it was Farmer Gedden.



What did the drummer call his twin daughters?

Anna one, Anna two.



I went to the vet with my goldfish.
"I think it's got epilepsy."

The vet takes a look and says:
"It seems calm to me."

And I said
"You idiot, I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet!"
  • Star-Lord and Evil empire like this

Star-Lord
  • Star-Lord

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#2522

Posted 21 March 2018 - 07:26 PM

Q: What type of dog was used to find John Bobbitt's cock?

A:
Spoiler


Q: What do you call a guy with a three headed penis?

A:
Spoiler


What does Sylvester Stallone call his long penis?

A:
Spoiler
  • GrudgefromSanAndreas likes this

JOSEPH X
  • JOSEPH X

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#2523

Posted 22 March 2018 - 03:38 AM

Pizzagate is where the babysitter pays YOU to mind your kids

Star-Lord
  • Star-Lord

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#2524

Posted 22 March 2018 - 10:28 PM

And the Lord said unto John "Come forth and you will receive eternal life."

Spoiler

gilby
  • gilby

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#2525

Posted 08 April 2018 - 05:45 PM

Sex when camping is great.  It's f*cking in tents.

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TheDudeAbides
  • TheDudeAbides

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#2526

Posted A week ago

Well, I would tell you a joke about pussy, but you would never get it.

Absar J Khan
  • Absar J Khan

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#2527

Posted A week ago

Mr.Trump is not racist.

Evil empire
  • Evil empire

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#2528

Posted A week ago

Trump goes to the UN and announces that contrary to what was printed in Fire and Fury, he is a genius. In fact, he says, he has memorized the capitals of every nation represented there.

 

“Go ahead, test me,” he challenges. “Give me a hard one.”

 

One representative stands and says, “Okay. What’s the capital of Tanganyika?”

 

“Shoot, that’s easy for me,” says Trump. “The capital of Tanganyika is T.”


Short Stay
  • Short Stay

    Two legs good, six legs better

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#2529

Posted 6 days ago Edited by Short Stay, 4 days ago.

You can beat an egg but you can't beat...


Miro
  • Miro

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#2530

Posted 5 days ago

What's Bill Gates' name going to be when he becomes a Trillionaire? Trill Gates. Ha, now laugh. Good for a first date joke... not. 

  • GrudgefromSanAndreas likes this




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