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The Joke Thread

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Pavle
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#1831

Posted A week ago Edited by Kirsty, A week ago.

What did the lawyer name her kid?

Spoiler


Member was banned from the forums for this joke.

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missanthropy
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#1832

Posted A week ago Edited by missanthropy, A week ago.

Why don't cats like online shopping?

They prefer a cat-talogue
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VikDarkbomb
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#1833

Posted A week ago

One good thing came out of Christopher Reeve's death, Stephen Hawkings got his parking space back.

 

Nothing came from his death really,shame he died :(,he lived a long fulfilling life however.

 

 

Time flies like an arrow.....

 

Spoiler

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missanthropy
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#1834

Posted A week ago Edited by missanthropy, A week ago.

Damn it, you really had to quote me? Lol

I thought that may have been too much so I made an edit.

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#1835

Posted A week ago

Why do Jews have such big noses?

Spoiler
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Dr.Playboy
  • Dr.Playboy

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#1836

Posted A week ago

This guy was walking down the street and this hooker says, "Say, wanna have a good time?" "Sure," he says and they were off to the nearest motel.

She takes off her clothes and he keeps staring at her. She says, "Is this the first pussy you seen since you crawled out of one?" The guy says,

"Nope, just the first one I've seen big enough to crawl back into."


pcguytech
  • pcguytech

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#1837

Posted A week ago

This guy was walking down the street and this hooker says, "Say, wanna have a good time?" "Sure," he says and they were off to the nearest motel.[/size]She takes off her clothes and he keeps staring at her. She says, "Is this the first pussy you seen since you crawled out of one?" The guy says,[/size]"Nope, just the first one I've seen big enough to crawl back into."[/size]

Meh? What was this joke about again?
Spoiler
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Pavle
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#1838

Posted A week ago

Why couldn't a bike stand on it's own?

Spoiler

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pcguytech
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#1839

Posted 4 days ago

Hope this isn't too much.

What do you call a Chinese pussy?

Spoiler
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Th3MaN1
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#1840

Posted 3 days ago Edited by Th3MaN1, 3 days ago.

My job is so f*cking unbelievable.
 
I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:
First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.
 
The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.
 
But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the f*cking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big f*cking dog to work. Every f*cking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single f*cking day.
 
Anyway, I drive these f*cktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and sh*t.
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CrackerSteve
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#1841

Posted 3 days ago

What's black and never works?


Decaf coffee, you f*cking racist.
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Th3MaN1
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#1842

Posted 2 days ago Edited by Th3MaN1, 2 days ago.

What's black and never works?


Decaf coffee, you f*cking racist.

Why did the kid drop his ice-cream?

Because the bus hit him.

 

Two fish are swiming alongside each other. Suddenly, one of them hits a concrete wall. He turns to the other and says:

"Dam!"

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Pavle
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#1843

Posted 2 days ago

What did the dog say after a hard day at work?

 

Spoiler

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Mister Pink
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#1844

Posted 2 days ago

 

One good thing came out of Christopher Reeve's death, Stephen Hawkings got his parking space back.

 

Nothing came from his death really,shame he died :(,he lived a long fulfilling life however.

 

 

Time flies like an arrow.....

 

Spoiler

 

 

What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve? 

 

Spoiler

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AlienTwo
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#1845

Posted 2 days ago

 

My job is so f*cking unbelievable.
 
I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:
First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.
 
The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.
 
But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the f*cking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big f*cking dog to work. Every f*cking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single f*cking day.
 
Anyway, I drive these f*cktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and sh*t.

 

I never pictured you as the ascot type.

 

What do you call a black guy flying a plane?

 

Spoiler
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Th3MaN1
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#1846

Posted 2 days ago Edited by Th3MaN1, 2 days ago.

I never pictured you as the ascot type.

 

What do you call a black guy flying a plane?

 

 

Spoiler

 

You'd be surprised.

 

Spoiler

 

 

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Spoiler

 

Spoiler

 

Spoiler

 

Spoiler
 
Spoiler
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Claptrap NL
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#1847

Posted 2 days ago

I'll tell you another joke:

Spoiler

 

What's the difference between a teabag and the English national football team?

Spoiler

 

So there are jokes about Bruce Lee, right. Ever heard of a joke about Chuck Norris?

Spoiler
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VikDarkbomb
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#1848

Posted 2 days ago

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity

 

Spoiler

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PhillBellic
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#1849

Posted A day ago

I have a lot of Jokes about Unemployed people.

 

Spoiler
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Mister Pink
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#1850

Posted 16 hours ago

You really got to hand it to blind prostitutes.

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VikDarkbomb
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#1851

Posted 16 hours ago

Have you ever tried eating a clock?

 

Spoiler

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