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The Joke Thread

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Troubadour
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#1801

Posted A week ago

So, this one might be old but it's still funny.

Bush and Bin Laden were playing chess. Who do you think has won?

Spoiler

Glad you find the death of 3,000 people funny...I just find these kind of jokes in very pour taste.

 

                                

 

 

Yo momma's so fat she said on an iPhone and made a macbook air
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Claptrap NL
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#1802

Posted A week ago

 

So, this one might be old but it's still funny.

Bush and Bin Laden were playing chess. Who do you think has won?

Spoiler

Glad you find the death of 3,000 people funny...I just find these kind of jokes in very pour taste.

 

                                

 

 

Yo momma's so fat she said on an iPhone and made a macbook air

 

201503_1210_iaicg_sm.jpg

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Sasuke Uzumaki
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#1803

Posted A week ago Edited by Sasuke Uzumaki, A week ago.

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?

Spoiler
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Midnight Hitman
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#1804

Posted A week ago

201503_1210_iaicg_sm.jpg

Yep, only white people died in WTC.
That's a good one.

Claptrap NL
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#1805

Posted A week ago

 

201503_1210_iaicg_sm.jpg

Yep, only white people died in WTC.
That's a good one.

 

^white people responding.

So yes, it's true. Only whites act like on the picture.


Testarossa
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#1806

Posted A week ago

How did the redneck find the sheep in the tall grass?

 

Spoiler

 

I'm starting to hate those stupid little Russian dolls.

 

Spoiler
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Black_MiD
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#1807

Posted A week ago

^That last one is pretty clever!


Sasuke Uzumaki
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#1808

Posted A week ago

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
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Street Mix
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#1809

Posted A week ago

My driving instructor told me to pull over somewhere safe.

Two minutes later he said: - Why haven't you pulled over yet?

- Because we're still in Manchester.


Cloudee
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#1810

Posted 6 days ago

Girls are like blackjack... I'm trying to go for 21 but I always hit on 14.

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Troubadour
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#1811

Posted 6 days ago

Two young nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even one single drop of paint on their habits. After discussing it, the two nuns decide to lock the door of the room, strip off their habits, and paint naked. In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door. "Who is it?" calls one of the nuns.

Blind man," replies a voice from the other side of the door.The two nuns look at each other, shrug, and, deciding that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the room, they open the door.

 

Nice boobs," says the man. "Where do you want the blinds?"

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Son of Zeus
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    Ah sh*t, here we go again...

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#1812

Posted 6 days ago

During a disaster, women and children are always evacuated first so that the men can think of a solution in peace.
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Arachne
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#1813

Posted 6 days ago Edited by Arachne, 6 days ago.

This gonna be a pun-tastic joke!

 

>Hey man whats u....OH MY GOD WHAT ARE DOING WITH THAT BODY?

>Gonna throw it on my's neighbor's pool!

>Why dude? why are gonna throw at there?

>Because..

Spoiler


Nick1020
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#1814

Posted 6 days ago Edited by Nick1020, 6 days ago.

This gonna be a pun-tastic joke!
 
>Hey man whats u....OH MY GOD WHAT ARE DOING WITH THAT BODY?
>Gonna throw it on my's neighbor's pool!
>Why dude? why are gonna throw at there?
>Because..

Spoiler

This joke is

Spoiler

KlIIUMlNATl
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#1815

Posted 6 days ago

A: Why did the Chicken cross the road?
B: Why?
A: To get to the idiots house?
B: "..."
A: Knock Knock
B: Who'd there?
Spoiler

~Tiger~
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#1816

Posted 6 days ago

Little 10-year-old Freddie goes for a long weekend with his uncle, a wealthy  farm owner.
 
One evening, as Uncle John and his wife are entertaining guests with cocktails, they are interrupted by an out-of-breath Freddie who shouts out, ‘Uncle John! Come quick! The bull is f*cking the cow!’
 
Uncle John, highly embarrassed, takes young Freddie aside, and explains that a certain amount of decorum is required. ‘You should have said, “The bull is surprising the cow” – not some filth picked up in the playground,’ he says.
 
A few days later, Freddie runs in as his aunt and uncle are once again entertaining.
 
‘Uncle John! The bull is surprising the cows!’ The adults share a knowing grin. Uncle John says, ‘Thank you, Freddie, but surely you meant to say the cow, not cows. A bull cannot “surprise” more than one cow at a time, you know …’ 
 
 
 
'Yes, he can!’ replies his obstinate nephew....... 
Spoiler
 
 
 

mr toasterbutt
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#1817

Posted 5 days ago

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

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FunkyRJ
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#1818

Posted 5 days ago

So, this one might be old but it's still funny.

Bush and Bin Laden were playing chess. Who do you think has won?

Spoiler

 

Bush won, not Bin Laden.


jrl51592
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#1819

Posted 5 days ago Edited by jrl51592, 5 days ago.

Why did Suzy fall off of the swing?
Spoiler


Knock Knock!

Who's there?
Spoiler

Claptrap NL
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#1820

Posted 5 days ago

 

So, this one might be old but it's still funny.

Bush and Bin Laden were playing chess. Who do you think has won?

Spoiler

 

Bush won, not Bin Laden.

 

Does Al-Queda excist? Yes.

Did many Americans died in Afghanistan? Yes.

 

Did I make a joke in the first post you've quoted? Yes.

So f*ck off if you can't handle.


Sasuke Uzumaki
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#1821

Posted 4 days ago Edited by Sasuke Uzumaki, 4 days ago.

What smells like fried rice?

 

 

 

Burning Vietnamese children. 


Sayuri
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#1822

Posted 4 days ago

Whats worse than throwing a party in space? You have to planet!
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Braindawg
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#1823

Posted 4 days ago

Kid comes up to his father and asks him:

"Dad, what's cross eyed"?

 

"Well, Billy, someone who's cross eyed has lots of difficulties seeing stuff. Some objects might even appear as if they were doubled!

FORE EXAMPLE! See those two trees out in the yard? A cross eyed person would see four trees..."

 

"Dad, there's only one tree out there..."

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jrl51592
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#1824

Posted 4 days ago

Some one liners for y'all!
Spoiler




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