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The Joke Thread

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Midnight Hitman
  • Midnight Hitman

    Evacuate the island!!!

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#1771

Posted A week ago

Go ahead and lock my account, may as well, seeing as you f*cking moderators target people who don't post what you like...kind of what happened to Cowboy. I'm not gonna sit here and fight back against you liberal morons and f*cking trolls. G'day.

this made me laugh, specially the part of your account getting locked.
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Mr. Tibbs
  • Mr. Tibbs

    I feel 10 feet tall right now, and as strong as an ox

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#1772

Posted A week ago Edited by Mr. Tibbs, A week ago.

Englishman applies for a job with South African police. Inspector says "These are the best qualifications I've ever seen, just one test before you get the job. Take this gun, go out and shoot six n*ggers and a rabbit."
Bloke replies "Why the rabbit?"
Inspector says "Fantastic attitude, you've got the job!"
 
The F.B.I. sends an agent to South Africa to learn how the police there stop riots. The South African Police General takes him to a township disturbance where the police fire tear gas grenades at the black mob. The mob runs away a few blocks, regroups, and comes rushing back at the police. Then the cops open up on them with powerful fire hoses, sending the rioters spinning down the street like soccer balls. They regroup and come charging back again, only to be met with squads of German Shepherd attack dogs. They bite the rioters so full of holes that they run like hell and don't come back. "Very impressive," says the F.B.I. agent, "But let me ask you; since the dogs were so effective, why not just use them first?" "Ah, you don't understand," said the Police general, "The n*ggers down here smell so bad, first we have to fumigate them and rinse them off before our dogs will touch them."
 
If you're gonna complain about the jokes, try and form an argument instead of saying "You hurt my feelings so you must be censored!"

iTRiP
  • iTRiP

    NoSBReN

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#1773

Posted A week ago Edited by iTRiP, A week ago.

:rampage: "iTRiP" :rampage:

Knowing the facts about South African citizens, then that joke isn't all that funny, don't get me wrong it is

entertaining considering that the fbi needs some more advance riot control methods for their uses, from the ZA force.

 

And Englishmen coming to work as an police officer, they must have been

in the top of their linguistics class at Oxford or Cambridge.

 

I was going to tell a joke a again, but after sucking that out of my thumb I totally forgot what it was I was about to type.

 

Only thing that came to mind now is some disallowed fat momma joke witch I will

transmute into a new version that should be allowed to easy the tension.

 

Uncle Sam is so fat, when he stands on the crossing of W 45th street and 7th Ave in a yellow

raincoat some people yells ...Taxi please!

 

Uncle Sam is so fat, when he goes to the beach at South Beach on a sunny day, no one else

there gets any sun.   

 

Take it ease, just a couple of jokes right. right?


PhillBellic
  • PhillBellic

    Capt. Phill Bellic. The New Aldernian Cop.

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#1774

Posted A week ago

What ever you do always give 100%.

 

Spoiler

Epic.
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    ctOS_Hacker

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#1775

Posted A week ago

Did you hear about those people who robbed a bank in Frog Masks?
The News said they Kermited a Crime.

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thedriver111
  • thedriver111

    Fast & Furious - Best Series Ever

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#1776

Posted 6 days ago

What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down? 

Spoiler
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Mintal
  • Mintal

    Beer Taster 🍺

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#1777

Posted 4 days ago Edited by Mintal, 4 days ago.

What does a black kid get at chistmas?

 

Spoiler

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PhillBellic
  • PhillBellic

    Capt. Phill Bellic. The New Aldernian Cop.

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#1778

Posted 4 days ago

What do you call a Train loaded with Toffee?

 

Spoiler
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Tatsuya
  • Tatsuya

    Just like Sister Ray said.

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#1779

Posted 3 days ago

What we in England call a heat wave, the rest of the world calls summer.
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Street Mix
  • Street Mix

    Boss

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#1780

Posted 2 days ago

How do you turn a park into a ghetto?

Spoiler

 

 

My wife is in hospital after being being beaten up for using the 'N' word.
Next time I ask for a beer from the fridge, she had better say the 'Y' word.

 

 

 

There were two Brits, Dave and John, whose plane crashed into a desert. Luckily they survived unharmed. As they travelled through the hot desert looking for food and water, they gave up and sat down, thinking of what to do.
As the dust in the air settled, they spotted a mosque ahead. They became very hopeful.
Dave said, "They might help us if they think we're Muslims. I'm going to tell them my name is Mohammed. ."
But John said, "That's ridiculous, I'm just going to tell them the truth."
They knocked on the door of the mosque, and were greeted by the Imam. "What are your names?"
Dave said, 'My name is Mohammed', and John said 'And I'm John'.
The Imam said 'Hello John, you poor man. My men will get you food and drink immediately.'
Then the Imam turned to Dave: "and Mohammed, happy Ramadan!"

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Claptrap NL
  • Claptrap NL

    Citizen of the Bay

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#1781

Posted A day ago Edited by Claptrap NL, A day ago.

What's funnier than 24?

Spoiler

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