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The Joke Thread

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Coat.
  • Coat.

    Coz' imma rocket scientist

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  • Australia

#1411

Posted 4 days ago

I laughed so hard, it almost made me fall off my dinosaur.

gtarelatedusername2
  • gtarelatedusername2

    TSR

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  • Joined: 06 Nov 2013
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#1412

Posted 4 days ago Edited by gtarelatedusername2, 4 days ago.

I don't want to offend Buddhists.

 

Anyways, a Buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand. The man says, "What do you want?" The Buddhist replies, "Make me one with everything."

That's a reworked version of the infamous Dalai Lama bit, jussayin'

 

Speaking of old jokes: Jewish men get circumcised because Jewish women won't touch anything unless it's 10% off.


lil weasel
  • lil weasel

    Shoot Looters, Hang Pirates!

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#1413

Posted 3 days ago


A medical doctor will be giving a speech at a medical convection. He jots down notes for his speech.
But, when he stands in front of attendees that night, is unable to read his notes. So he asks, "Is there a pharmacist in the house?"

universetwisters
  • universetwisters

    Leben Heißt leben

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  • Joined: 26 Feb 2011
  • United-States

#1414

Posted 3 days ago

What do you call a man with a shovel in his head?

An ambulance.

Barefoot Tiger
  • Barefoot Tiger

    Cool Cat

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#1415

Posted 3 days ago

A family of moles had been hibernating all winter.

 

One beautiful spring morning, they woke up. The father mole stuck his head out of the hole and looked around.

"Mother Mole!" He called back down the hole. "Come up here! I smell honey, fresh made honey!"

 

The mother mole ran up and squeezed in next to him.

"That's not honey, that's maple syrup! I smell maple syrup!"

 

The baby mole, still down in the hole, was sulking. "I can't smell anything down here but molasses..."

  • lil weasel likes this

Daz
  • Daz

    Pirandello/Kruger

  • Feroci Racing
  • Joined: 09 Dec 2001
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#1416

Posted 2 days ago

What's brown and sticky?

 

a stick

 

Spoiler





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