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The Joke Thread

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Rizqan7
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#1231

Posted 06 June 2013 - 05:38 AM

QUOTE (AceKingston @ Thursday, Jun 6 2013, 02:03)
[/QUOTE]
For the love of sanity please stop posting.

Why? My sanity unstable? You are much more so evil! angry.gif why you disrespect me! Answer!! angry.gif

W2B
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#1232

Posted 09 June 2013 - 10:08 AM

What did the blonde say when she found out that she was pregnant?
"I hope it's not mine..."

lil weasel
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#1233

Posted 09 June 2013 - 10:11 AM

What is the name of the guy holding the shovel standing by the hole?

Barry.

W2B
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#1234

Posted 09 June 2013 - 10:39 AM

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses.
He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"

Lexty.
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#1235

Posted 09 June 2013 - 10:42 AM

What's the difference between a slut and a tiler? Nothing ~ think about it.

Rizqan7
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#1236

Posted 10 June 2013 - 11:14 AM Edited by Rizqan7, 10 June 2013 - 11:18 AM.

Rell: What difference of woman and man?
Meh: Easy dude, just open his/her chip and see is that penis or vagina
Rell: Wrong
Meg: Look at his/her breast, if it wide, thats man, but if it like 2 monster watermelon, thats woman
Rell: Wrong
Mug: Suck both!
Rell: Correct!

lil weasel
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#1237

Posted 17 June 2013 - 04:19 AM Edited by lil weasel, 17 June 2013 - 04:47 AM.

How many months have 28 days? All of them.

OHDUDE
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#1238

Posted 17 June 2013 - 05:29 AM Edited by OHDUDE, 17 June 2013 - 05:37 AM.

Dual heart-breaking message from GF to BF.

First: Let's break up now, it's all over.

Second: SRRY! That was NOT FOR U!!

------------------------------------------------------------

Q. How do you teach a blonde math?

A. Subtract her clothes, divide her legs, and add one dick.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Rizqan7
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#1239

Posted 19 June 2013 - 02:11 PM Edited by Rizqan7, 19 June 2013 - 02:24 PM.

DBHUAAR!! DBHHUUAAARR!!
Who's There?
It's the Bomberman
EDIT:In Who Wants To Be Millionaire competition:
Choky: Who's made Saint Row?
Wret: Netlizard
Choky: Wrong!
Choky: Who's Indonesia's President now?
Wret: Preeeett (farting)
Choky: Right! Congratulations!! You got $-1 bilion dollar!! Congratulation!!

The Odyssey
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#1240

Posted 19 June 2013 - 02:42 PM

What do you call King Kong in a box?
Stuck.

Rizqan7
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#1241

Posted 19 June 2013 - 02:44 PM

QUOTE (thegtaman531 @ Wednesday, Jun 19 2013, 22:42)
What do you call King Kong in a box?
Stuck.

Ping-pong! lol.gif

Chris Fromage
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#1242

Posted 19 June 2013 - 02:51 PM

What is worse then finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm in your apple...

Rizqan7
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#1243

Posted 20 June 2013 - 03:05 AM

Why you can't meet dinosaur?
Because you dont have time machine! lol.gif

WhitValid
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#1244

Posted 20 June 2013 - 03:10 AM

QUOTE (Chris Fromage @ Wednesday, Jun 19 2013, 08:51)
What is worse then finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm in your apple...

I was thinking the holocaust

mmmmmmmm what do jewish birds say?
cheap cheap!

Rizqan7
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#1245

Posted 20 June 2013 - 08:14 AM

QUOTE (Chris Fromage @ Wednesday, Jun 19 2013, 22:51)
What is worse then finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm in your apple...

Because the worms war in your apple and make you apple destroyed! biggrin.gif

Secura
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#1246

Posted 20 June 2013 - 08:30 AM

QUOTE (Rizqan7 @ Thursday, Jun 20 2013, 03:05)
Why you can't meet dinosaur?
Because you dont have time machine! lol.gif

I never thought that a joke could inflict physical pain upon me, I was wrong.

Ryujin.
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#1247

Posted 20 June 2013 - 08:42 AM

My first try on this. Hahaha.

Dad:Son, 10+10
Son:I don't know, it's hard
Dad:Are you stupid? I'll kill you for that
Son:Dad, if you see $20 and $10 on the floor, which one will you take?
Dad:Of course $20 dollars!
Son:Are you stupid? Why not take both? I'll kill you for that

Hahaha. Tried my best in translating this from filipino to english. Hahaha. It might be corny, sorry in advance

Rizqan7
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#1248

Posted 20 June 2013 - 09:39 AM

Mlas: Dad, I want to piss, is there any toilet?
Dad: Yes my daughter, there is a toilet, but the toilet is for man
Mlas: No problem
After a while, Mlas running and hug dad with crying
Dad: Why you crying? mercie_blink.gif
Mlas: Dad, after I go to toilet, there are 1 man and he suck my pussy and f*ck me! cryani.gif
Dad: Where is he!! I want to stomp his dick!! angry.gif
Mlas: He now in police station dad, I have calling police and now he arrested by police
Dad: Phew....
After 5 days....
Dad: OMG!!!! mercie_blink.gif
Dad: You pregnant???!!
Mlas: Ah sh*t, why I go to man toilet just because want to piss!!
Dad: Nooooooooo!!!!!!
Baby: Oeekkk Oeeeekkkk!!!

THE END

Ferocious Banger
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#1249

Posted 20 June 2013 - 09:44 AM

QUOTE (Rizqan7 @ Thursday, Jun 20 2013, 15:09)
Mlas: Dad, I want to piss, is there any toilet?
Dad: Yes my daughter, there is a toilet, but the toilet is for man
Mlas: No problem
After a while, Mlas running and hug dad with crying
Dad: Why you crying? mercie_blink.gif
Mlas: Dad, after I go to toilet, there are 1 man and he suck my pussy and f*ck me! cryani.gif
Dad: Where is he!! I want to stomp his dick!! angry.gif
Mlas: He now in police station dad, I have calling police and now he arrested by police
Dad: Phew....
After 5 days....
Dad: OMG!!!! mercie_blink.gif
Dad: You pregnant???!!
Mlas: Ah sh*t, why I go to man toilet just because want to piss!!
Dad: Nooooooooo!!!!!!
Baby: Oeekkk Oeeeekkkk!!!

THE END

Very funny icon14.gif










sarcasm.gif

Chukkles
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#1250

Posted 20 June 2013 - 09:50 AM

QUOTE (Rizqan7 @ Thursday, Jun 20 2013, 09:39)
Mlas: Dad, I want to piss, is there any toilet?
Dad: Yes my daughter, there is a toilet, but the toilet is for man
Mlas: No problem
After a while, Mlas running and hug dad with crying
Dad: Why you crying? mercie_blink.gif
Mlas: Dad, after I go to toilet, there are 1 man and he suck my pussy and f*ck me! cryani.gif
Dad: Where is he!! I want to stomp his dick!! angry.gif
Mlas: He now in police station dad, I have calling police and now he arrested by police
Dad: Phew....
After 5 days....
Dad: OMG!!!! mercie_blink.gif
Dad: You pregnant???!!
Mlas: Ah sh*t, why I go to man toilet just because want to piss!!
Dad: Nooooooooo!!!!!!
Baby: Oeekkk Oeeeekkkk!!!

THE END

I now feel dumber for reading that.

Rizqan7
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#1251

Posted 20 June 2013 - 11:32 AM

QUOTE (Chukkles @ Thursday, Jun 20 2013, 17:50)
QUOTE (Rizqan7 @ Thursday, Jun 20 2013, 09:39)
Mlas: Dad, I want to piss, is there any toilet?
Dad: Yes my daughter, there is a toilet, but the toilet is for man
Mlas: No problem
After a while, Mlas running and hug dad with crying
Dad: Why you crying? mercie_blink.gif
Mlas: Dad, after I go to toilet, there are 1 man and he suck my pussy and f*ck me! cryani.gif
Dad: Where is he!! I want to stomp his dick!! angry.gif
Mlas: He now in police station dad, I have calling police and now he arrested by police
Dad: Phew....
After 5 days....
Dad: OMG!!!! mercie_blink.gif
Dad: You pregnant???!!
Mlas: Ah sh*t, why I go to man toilet just because want to piss!!
Dad: Nooooooooo!!!!!!
Baby: Oeekkk Oeeeekkkk!!!

THE END

I now feel dumber for reading that.

Want mugshot? Here is your mugshot! sign-thompson.gif

ExtremoMania
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#1252

Posted 20 June 2013 - 12:08 PM

QUOTE (Rizqan7 @ Thursday, Jun 20 2013, 17:39)
Mlas: Dad, I want to piss, is there any toilet?
Dad: Yes my daughter, there is a toilet, but the toilet is for man
Mlas: No problem
After a while, Mlas running and hug dad with crying
Dad: Why you crying? mercie_blink.gif
Mlas: Dad, after I go to toilet, there are 1 man and he suck my pussy and f*ck me! cryani.gif
Dad: Where is he!! I want to stomp his dick!! angry.gif
Mlas: He now in police station dad, I have calling police and now he arrested by police
Dad: Phew....
After 5 days....
Dad: OMG!!!! mercie_blink.gif
Dad: You pregnant???!!
Mlas: Ah sh*t, why I go to man toilet just because want to piss!!
Dad: Nooooooooo!!!!!!
Baby: Oeekkk Oeeeekkkk!!!

THE END

Very interesting. Worst joke I ever heard. sarcasm.gif

Stromae
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#1253

Posted 20 June 2013 - 07:08 PM

What's the difference between acne and a priest?

Acne doesn't come on your face before you're twelve.

Rizqan7
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#1254

Posted 21 June 2013 - 08:10 AM

Why Nautilus still not extinct? Because in million years ago, they use time machine while Jesus dance at mountain, after Jesus dancing, he say ''Oh sh*t! Wheres my time machine?!'' Thats why Nautilus still not extinct and Jesus can't go to year 2012 month 12 date 21 using time machine and World not doomed lol.gif

Girish
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#1255

Posted 21 June 2013 - 10:16 AM

QUOTE (Rizqan7 @ Friday, Jun 21 2013, 13:40)
Why Nautilus still not extinct? Because in million years ago, they use time machine while Jesus dance at mountain, after Jesus dancing, he say ''Oh sh*t! Wheres my time machine?!'' Thats why Nautilus still not extinct and Jesus can't go to year 2012 month 12 date 21 using time machine and World not doomed lol.gif

What the f..?!!

Post in this topic again and you'll be banned.

Don't laugh. It's not a joke.
  • Sting4S likes this

Vercetti42
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#1256

Posted 21 June 2013 - 10:23 AM

QUOTE (Girish @ Friday, Jun 21 2013, 15:46)
QUOTE (Rizqan7 @ Friday, Jun 21 2013, 13:40)
Why Nautilus still not extinct? Because in million years ago, they use time machine while Jesus dance at mountain, after Jesus dancing, he say ''Oh sh*t! Wheres my time machine?!'' Thats why Nautilus still not extinct and Jesus can't go to year 2012 month 12 date 21 using time machine and World not doomed lol.gif

What the f..?!!

Post in this topic again and you'll be banned.

Don't laugh. It's not a joke.

I hope he does post again, it's about time he's banned.


vertical limit
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#1257

Posted 23 June 2013 - 12:51 AM

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the toilet?

Because the P is silent.

GTA 360
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#1258

Posted 23 June 2013 - 08:51 PM

Just a joke off another website that I found quite funny, not trying to be racist here.


Dozens of homes were evacuated around a mosque in Walsall today, after reports of a Muslim wanking onto the pavement outside.

A police spokesman said, "We urge members of the public to report any suspicious Paki jizz."

DarthShinobi
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#1259

Posted 23 June 2013 - 10:22 PM

What do you call a fish with no eye? Fsh. Lolollolololololololol


vertical limit
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#1260

Posted 24 June 2013 - 12:09 AM

What does a black guy and a tornado have in common?

- It only takes one to ruin a neighborhood.




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