Quantcast

Jump to content

» «
Photo

BUYG: Build Up Your Gang IV

2,323 replies to this topic
Vercetti27
  • Vercetti27

    Staunton Faction

  • Members
  • Joined: 18 Jan 2009

#1591

Posted 08 November 2009 - 09:59 AM Edited by Vercetti27, 08 November 2009 - 09:32 PM.

QUOTE
ill join again same position Pegorino's mansion Pegorino


I'm already at Pegorino's Mansion. If there was a BUYG Staff member to actually update you'd know


Pegorino Family
The Pegorino Mansion
Chapter 2
Dealing with The Pavanos

Louie was sat in the large, dark sitting room watching the men’s room. It was the morning, but Louie had recorded the show so he could watch it. Jimmy was out with the boys, and Jimmy’s mother was out shopping. Louie was left with some of Jimmy’s goons, who he didn’t know very well.

The first one was in the kitchen, making himself a sandwich. His name was Marco, and he was never very popular with Jimmy. Everything Marco said Jimmy told him to “shut the f*ck up you idiot Marco”. Marco was not usually involved with many Pegorino dealings, but today he was the only Pegorino not busy apart from his friend Pete, who he introduced to Mr. Pegorino.
The second was in the other lounge, talking to the boss on the cellphone. His name was Pete, and he was quiet, and not treated with any dignity either. Louie was the only man Jimmy trusted. But he was only 25, and had spent most of his recent years in the Alderney Correctional Facility after evidence of him dealing narcotics and being involved in gang activity was found.

Louie though didn’t change his lifestyle. He was still thirsty for the Pegorino’s to grow and become the biggest gang in liberty city. Louie was slumped in the large leather setee and was eating chocolate biscuits and smoking fine Italian cigars.

Pete could be heard in the other room, talking to the boss.
“You sure we can trust the Pavanos? I hope your right. Ok. Goodbye”.
Pete finished the conversation and walked into the sitting room.

“Louie? The boss has arranged the deal. We’re going to sell the stolen coke to the Pavano family at Happiness Island”.
“What the f*ck? Does he trust those Pavano assholes”?
“It sounds like it. He’ll be back to collect the coke, and then we’re heading south for Happiness Island. Look after the place while we’re gone, ok Lou”?
“Whatever, but if you get into sh*t don’t say I didn’t warm you about those f*cking Pavanos”.
Pete walked into the kitchen to talk with Marco, who by this time had finished filling his sandwich with cheese and shredded beef.


Moments later the boss returned. He looked hot, flustered and very unsettled. He darted into the sitting room.
“Hey Louie. You need to come with us to do the deal. Bring the f*cking ammo while you’re at it. I just got word from our informant Ray Biochino that those dirty f*ckers the Ancelotti’s are planning a revenge mission after we took their coke”.

Louie stood up instantly and looked angry.
“Why are we even doing this f*cking deal? If the Ancelotti’s turn up with their f*cking guns blazing, you think the Pavano’s are gonna help us out? Fat f*cking chance. We’re dead boss”.
Jimmy looked concerned, but remained defiant.
“Come on Louie, you’re a better shot than those Ancelotti c*nts. You take cover behind a wall or something, then ring my cell when you see any Ancelotti f*cks”.

Marco looked worried.
“Hey boss. Maybe the Ancelotti’s won’t turn up for the deal. Maybe they’re like, gonna target the restaurant in Little Italy”. He said in his strong Italian American accent. As soon as he knew it he knew Jimmy’s inevitable and irritable response.

“Shut the f*ck up Marco. Now everyone, get in the car. Louie. Drive us to the boat docked over the coast. We’ll take the boat to the island earlier, so we can snuff the place out first, and then when those Pavanos show, you two (he pointed at Pete & Louie) ring. Alert me if you see any Ancelotti’s too”.

The group walked out onto the driveway with a sense of inevitable bloodshed dawning. Louie was taking his lucky pistol with him, and Marco carried the bag of coke. Pete was heavily armed with a combat shotgun as they entered the Sentinel.

Louie strapped himself into the driver’s seat, and look into the rear view mirror before pulling away. His face looked worried and pensive.
“You sure about this boss”?
“Drive” was the solemnly confident reply from Jimmy, who sat in the back of the car, eyes fixed on Louie's reflection in the mirror. The car pulled away slowly.

aragond
  • aragond

    We are the Aragond. We will bury you.

  • Members
  • Joined: 26 Aug 2007
  • None

#1592

Posted 08 November 2009 - 10:33 AM Edited by aragond, 27 December 2009 - 07:40 AM.

This story follows on directly from the end of this story.

Review previous scene
user posted image
(Story #10)

Episode Two, "Metastasis", Part Three

Looking much like a modern art piece they'd seen at the Libertonian Museum, the twisted metal and melted plastic smoldered and oozed as Big Lou and Al considered what remained of their Sentinel and the walk back to Acter.

Johnny Leung, casually smoking a cigarette, stood guard in the doorway to his father's store.

"They did it as they left," Johnny commented, referring to Joey Campagna's crew. "Petrol bombs, I think.

"But, you did their guys good," he added an upbeat afterthought. "One they carried out was bleeding from his chest, another limping with his shoe covered in blood. I was impressed, even if my father still curses you."

"How is your father?"

"Caught a bullet in the arm. Flesh wound, I'd say," Johnny said casually. "He's at the hospital but he'll live."

"But, Lou." Johnny paused, taking a long draw on his cigarette, apprehensive about what he had to tell Lou. "This neighbourhood can't take a war between you and them. With the recession, the store-burnings... we're stretched thin, Lou. It won't be long before someone spills to the cops."

"Hey! You just remind anyone stupid enough to talk like that of the consequences," Lou said harshly, "and we'll get rid of Joey and his boys."

As Johnny nodded, flicked his cigarette into the gutter and stepped back inside, Al finished his phone call.

"Nicky's busy, but he's sending Morris to pick us up."

"The 'German'? Okay," Big Lou said, heavily distracted. Al gave him an enquiring look.

"They tried to kill us, Al. The Pavanos are prepared to kill us to take over Pegorino soil," Lou said. "They didn't even give killing a Pegorino made-man a second thought.

"This is war," he concluded with deep disappointment.

"We've been at war with them for months," Al explained.

"Not like this. I've known Dapper Joey a long time," Lou said thoughtfully. "Plus, we almost got our asses handed to us back there. We can't rely on these pea-shooters anymore."

"Yeah, about that. Leo's checking out a tip I got from a friend of mine."

"Seriously?" Lou's face lit up.

"Yeah. You remember Rocca?"

"'The Rocker', I seem to recall."

Al chuckled at the memory of Big Lou's dismay at Rocca's insistence at being known by a title. "Yeah, well, he knows a guy that knows a guy that happens to have a line on some heavy-duty combat shotguns."

"Combat? What's the...-"

"Self-reloading, no pump-action, plus ten-shot clip and kick like a mule" Al explained, "which means they're faster and harder for blasting the sh!t outa Joey's crew." His phone began ringing.

"Now, I dunno how many we're gonna get, but I know the window's closing."

Lou nodded, impressed. "They should do quite nicely. When's Leo...-"

"Sh!t," Al said, looking down at his phone, "apparently right now."

He answered his phone. Ten minutes later, Al gave a farewell nod to Big Lou as the PMP lurched away from the curb making for the tunnel.

A few more minutes and Morris was driving Big Lou to the Recycling Plant. Lodioso had called a meet. Lou barely spoke the whole trip over, unnerving Morris who kept trying to start conversations. The car gently cornered into Farnsworth Street as Morris finished offering Lou unsolicited advice on money-making possibilities around the construction industry and foreign currency, before turning into the driveway at the back of the plant. Lou stepped out, offering a cursory "I'll think about it" to the overeager Morris.

"We've got a lot on our plate, right now, Morris," Lou said, referring to the Family's new threats. Just a month ago, he'd told Morris earlier, the Pegorinos were on top of the world.

"Oh, yeah, sure," Morris replied with enthusiasm and a stammer. "I know. I'm ... I'm just talkin' for down the road, y'know?"

Lou barely gave a nod in reply as he turned to go inside, walking past neat rows of boxes for recycling. As he opened the side door, the noise inside was deafening. Just the way Gino liked it: keeping the FIB bugs from hearing anything. Lou climbed the stairs to a collection of overhanging offices suspended over piles of recycling waste and workshops, greeting Joey Ventura, Franny's number-two and bodyguard, with a hug at the top of the stairs.

"Any news?" Lou asked regarding Franny.

"Nah. Nothing," Joey replied. "You?"

"F*ck all." Big Lou then added, quietly, in Joey's ear, "Look, it comes up, let me handle it. 'Kay?"

"Sure thing, Lou. I don' wanna get Franny into any bad sh!t with the boss."

The pair broke their huddle and walked inside the conference room, joining Joel and Slugger. Polite nods and reticent hugs followed. To the left of the room, when they came in, double sliding doors muted the yelling going on between Sammy Lodioso, their Capo, and Gino Motelli, Jimmy's successor.

"How long's that been going on," Lou asked Joel, nodding in the direction of the doors.

"What going on, Lou?" Joel replied, with the slightest of grins. "I don't hear nuthin'."

"Yeah, right," Lou said, a grin edging to the corner of his mouth, just as the doors slid open. Sammy walked to the head of the conference table beckoning the four men to sit. In the background, Gino sat back lazily in a large leather chair, clearly agitated.

"A'right, boys, seems some sh!t and some fans are interfacing here," Sammy said with characteristic coolness. "Let's get it out on the table."

Joel looked at Lou, the pair offering eachother the chance to speak first.

"Alright, 'Numbers' has done some f*ckin' deal with some f*ckin' bikers, the, uh..." Joel started, everyone helping him with the name of the gang. "The Lost. Right. That means they f*ckin' pulled a f*ckin' piece on me 'n' Vincent here, tried to f*ckin' pop us in an alleyway.

"Outa respect, I think this means we should hit these greasebags hard, burn their skanky asses outa town," he concluded.

"Oh, you do, do you?" Sammy retorted a little sarcastically.

"Yeah, well, I think they...-"

"Well, it's f*ckin' good for us you don't get paid to think, isn't, Joel?" Sammy snapped. Lou fought the temptation to raise his eyebrows in shocked delight.

"You are going to keep your f*ckin' eyes on the ball, Joel," Sammy insisted. "We want Carmine's money, nothing more. That means you f*ck-up any f*ckers Carmine feels protected by, and you kill anyone that gets in your way, but you do not bring this Family into a war with greasers unnecessarily.

"You bring Carmine in line, but that's all. Do you appreciate quite what I'm saying, here, Joel?"

"Yeah, well, sure, you got it, Sammy. I'm just saying if The Lost are backing this Geary then...-"

"Eyes on the prize, Joel," Lodioso said calmly in reply to Joel's agitation. "Eyes on the prize."

"Yeah, okay."

"And you," Sammy said, turning his head in Lou's direction. "What the f*ck? You're engaging in gun battles with the Pavanos now? You don't have enough to do all day?"

Ignoring Lodioso's sarcasm, Lou explained. "Dapper Joey, a guy we've had dealings with in the past," Lou said gesturing to remind everyone around the table, "said straight to my face that little Tony's territory was now his, and when I refused, he sent his guys to kill Al and I.

"That's how we came to be in an alley shooting at his boys," Lou concluded. "He's declared war, Sammy. Dapper Joey's declaring war, and we need to prepare to strike back."

"NO!" came a shout from the other room. "You musta heard him wrong, Lou." Gino stood from his chair and walked into the room. "We've had our differences with the other Families, but they know ... they respect that Alderney belongs to us.

"You misheard him," Gino insisted.

"Gino." Lou trod carefully. "All due respect, but my hearing is just fine."

"HEY!" Gino screamed. "It's 'BOSS', you disrespectful f*ck!"

"Boss, the bugs!" Sammy interjected to remind him. Turning to Lou he pointed and hissed, "And you, show some f*cking respect. Gino's got a f*cking title. You use it."

Lou leaned back in his chair, acquiescing. Gino, meanwhile, began pacing.

"Yeah, well, even if your hearing is twenty-twenty," Gino said, pacing while mixing his metaphors, "it changes nuthin'. There aint no war, and those properties have gotta keep paying us, regardless."

"Boss," Lou implored, the word sticking in his throat. "The Pavanos are burning down their stores if they don't pay them."

"They gotta pay, Lou," Gino said as though he'd not heard. "You just tell 'em they still gotta pay."

"Pay what? Twice? Once to us and once to Joey?" Lou said incredulously, hesitating his gestures as though aware he risked another public slapdown.

Sammy turned to Gino, who slowed his pacing and looked back, waiting for the magical cure, and said, "Or you burn them down, Lou."

"You f*ckin' kidding me here?" Lou retorted exasperated. "They're already burning down and we're gonna burn more of the neighbourhood down so that they can double-pay us?"

"If you haven't the stomach for it, Lou," Sammy began to offer.

"Am I missing something here?" Lou pleaded.

"Are they paying you, Lou? Are you ready to kick-up to the Boss?" Lodioso enquired.

"No, they are being slow, of cour...-"

"Well, then you treat them like any delinquent debtor, Lou. Burn a few down."

"Gin...- Boss!" Lou implored.

Gino ceased pacing and stared into the distance. "I think we try it Sammy's way, Lou. But, I hear ya, you're attached to the people, so, let Sammy do the job."

"Boss, it's not attachment," Lou insisted. "We're avoiding the problem staring at us in the face."

"We leave Joey alone, he leaves us alone," Gino replied. "Peace in our time."

"Truer words," Lou sighed, the words striking him as alarmingly similar to someone else's similar proclamation at an air-strip just seventy years before.

Sammy turned his attention to Joey Ventura. "And you now tell me why the f*ck I can't get ahold of your boss?" he said, referring to Franny.

"He's, uh, outa town," Lou answered. "Urgent business."

"What?! Like we don't have enough problems?"

"Joey here's collecting on his behalf, so he'll still kick-up," Lou suggested, turning to Joey and adding, "Right?"

"Yeah, sure, I'm keeping the ship running. I'll see ya Friday still, Sammy, no problems."

Sammy eyed Lou and Joey suspiciously, as though aware he wasn't getting the whole story but not prepared to worry yet. "Alright, fine, then when's he back?"

"Should be soon, Sammy," Joey answered shrugging, his body language betraying the doubt in his mind.

Gino returned to the next room, poured himself a drink and pulled the sliding doors closed. Sammy announced the meeting concluded, then pulled Lou aside.

"So, we burn a few businesses down. You got any preferred targets?"

"Sammy," Lou said between gritted teeth, "this is f*ckin' insane. You don't evade the situation, you take sh!t on. Dapper Joey is not going away."

"And you got your orders, Lou," Sammy said, unaffected. "Gino doesn't want a war with the Pavanos. Not now. So, we do what we gotta do."

"But he can't...-"

"Lou, Lou, calm down," Lodioso said, wrapping an arm around Lou's shoulder. "One problem at a time. Right now, this is all Gino's ulcers can take."

Lou sighed and looked skyward.

I am genuinely interested in feedback. If you'd prefer not to clog the thread, feel free to PM instead.

As this is my story #10 (yay!), I understand the Pegorinos get a weapon under $150 for free. How about one that IS $150? I'd like the Combat Pistols, pls.

View next scene

The Virus
  • The Virus

    Player Hater

  • Members
  • Joined: 18 Sep 2009

#1593

Posted 08 November 2009 - 10:46 AM

Well, here's my first chapter. Hope I did good. Feel free to give advice and criticism, I'm always looking to improve.

user posted image

Chapter 1


Danny crept down a dark alleyway in Alderney. The air stunk of garbage, sh*t and alcohol. He was only here to get his bike back from some Angels of Death assh*les, and then he’d be on his way. The floor was covered in broken beer bottles, old food and scraps of paper and cardboard. Danny trudged through it, trying to ignore the stench and the sleeping hobos on the floor. A homeless man wearing nothing but a ripped T-shirt, stained shorts and a beanie approached him.
“Hey, hey biker dude, hey hey!”
Danny kept walking, trying to ignore him.
“Hey, gimme some money!” The bum yelled, kicking him in the back
Danny turned round. His mind was full of rage. He grabbed the knife from inside his jacket and sliced the man in the chest, then attempted to thrust it in his neck, but missed as he ran away holding his wounds.
“B*stard….” Danny muttered to himself

Continuing down the alley, he heard the Angels of Death talking around the corner. They seemed to be distracted and vulnerable. He held his pistol close, and peeked around the wall. He had an opportunity to take them out then and there. They were unarmed. He jumped out from the corner and fired two bullets aimed for their heads.
"'The f*ck was that?" They said, with fear in their voice
One of them was hit straight in the side of his skull. The other bullet just barely managed to hit another one’s neck. Danny had forgotten to reload after an encounter with some cops last night, and ran out of ammo. But he didn’t have time to do it now. In panic, he threw the pistol at the last man’s head. He was knocked back slightly and distracted. Danny saw this chance to attack. Grabbing him and slamming his face into the wall, he held him there with one of his hands, pulled out his knife with the other. He pushed it slowly into his back, he wanted this one to feel some pain before his death. He twisted it round a few times, then pulled it out quickly and stabbed him in the neck, finishing him. Danny's jacket was stained with the blood, and more started to drip onto him and trickle down to the floor. He had to get away fast, before the police found out. He checked his bike, making sure there were no scratches and that it wasn't broken. He didn't really have time to find out now though...

But oh no, it was not over yet. The LCPD pulled over at the entrance to the alleyway, the homeless man from before had alerted them after he was attacked. Danny grabbed his pistol from the floor and started up his bike. He made his escape, knocking over a police officer and fleeing onto the street.
“You know, I’m gonna go and get somethin’ to eat from Burger Shot….need to relax after that load of sh*t” Danny thought to himself, smirking slightly.

tarnell
  • tarnell

    Li'l G Loc

  • Members
  • Joined: 22 Jul 2009

#1594

Posted 08 November 2009 - 10:52 AM

QUOTE (The Virus @ Nov 8 2009, 10:46)
Well, here's my first chapter. Hope I did good. Feel free to give advice and criticism, I'm always looking to improve.

user posted image

Chapter 1


Danny crept down a dark alleyway in Alderney. The air stunk of garbage, sh*t and alcohol. He was only here to get his bike back from some Angels of Death assh*les, and then he’d be on his way. The floor was covered in broken beer bottles, old food and scraps of paper and cardboard. Danny trudged through it, trying to ignore the stench and the sleeping hobos on the floor. A homeless man wearing nothing but a ripped T-shirt, stained shorts and a beanie approached him.
“Hey, hey biker dude, hey hey!”
Danny kept walking, trying to ignore him.
“Hey, gimme some money!” The bum yelled, kicking him in the back
Danny turned round. His mind was full of rage. He grabbed the knife from inside his jacket and sliced the man in the chest, then attempted to thrust it in his neck, but missed as he ran away holding his wounds.
“B*stard….” Danny muttered to himself

Continuing down the alley, he heard the Angels of Death talking around the corner. They seemed to be distracted and vulnerable. He held his pistol close, and peeked around the wall. He had an opportunity to take them out then and there. They were unarmed. He jumped out from the corner and fired two bullets aimed for their heads.
"'The f*ck was that?" They said, with fear in their voice
One of them was hit straight in the side of his skull. The other bullet just barely managed to hit another one’s neck. Danny had forgotten to reload after an encounter with some cops last night, and ran out of ammo. But he didn’t have time to do it now. In panic, he threw the pistol at the last man’s head. He was knocked back slightly and distracted. Danny saw this chance to attack. Grabbing him and slamming his face into the wall, he held him there with one of his hands, pulled out his knife with the other. He pushed it slowly into his back, he wanted this one to feel some pain before his death. He twisted it round a few times, then pulled it out quickly and stabbed him in the neck, finishing him. Danny's jacket was stained with the blood, and more started to drip onto him and trickle down to the floor. He had to get away fast, before the police found out. He checked his bike, making sure there were no scratches and that it wasn't broken. He didn't really have time to find out now though...

But oh no, it was not over yet. The LCPD pulled over at the entrance to the alleyway, the homeless man from before had alerted them after he was attacked. Danny grabbed his pistol from the floor and started up his bike. He made his escape, knocking over a police officer and fleeing onto the street.
“You know, I’m gonna go and get somethin’ to eat from Burger Shot….need to relax after that load of sh*t” Danny thought to himself, smirking slightly.

story is good (imo) but you should really consider making it longer smile.gif icon14.gif

bmx rule
  • bmx rule

    Military Of Mobile Defence Infantry; Private

  • Members
  • Joined: 11 May 2008

#1595

Posted 08 November 2009 - 12:43 PM

oh soz Vercetti27 the BUYG gang must be down a day. so BUYG please check and edit daily plzz cause ive now got a story worth nothing as it evolves around Pegorinos Mansion.

bmx rule
  • bmx rule

    Military Of Mobile Defence Infantry; Private

  • Members
  • Joined: 11 May 2008

#1596

Posted 08 November 2009 - 12:50 PM

ok honkers. i soooo want to be in Pegorino crime family cause i bought most of da stuff

aragond
  • aragond

    We are the Aragond. We will bury you.

  • Members
  • Joined: 26 Aug 2007
  • None

#1597

Posted 08 November 2009 - 01:54 PM Edited by aragond, 08 November 2009 - 03:05 PM.

QUOTE (Vercetti27 @ Nov 8 2009, 19:59)
QUOTE
ill join again same position Pegorino's mansion Pegorino

I'm already at Pegorino's Mansion. If there was a BUYG Staff member to actually update you'd know

Ohh! nm
Front-page is only updated once ratings are done, and it's only been 88 hours since the last ratings were done. 'Sall good. Staff will get to ratings very soon.

Sorry, BMX for your, um, loss.

QUOTE (bmx rule @ Nov 8 2009, 22:50)
ok honkers. i soooo want to be in Pegorino crime family cause i bought most of da stuff

HUH!
You've returned to BUYG almost EXACTLY one year after you last posted then disappeared. How curious.

(You fell into a time warp, dincha? Go'on. You can tell us. smile.gif

The Virus
  • The Virus

    Player Hater

  • Members
  • Joined: 18 Sep 2009

#1598

Posted 08 November 2009 - 03:08 PM

I'd like to buy a Micro-SMG and Baseball Bat for the lost, please. Also, I decided to start writing these in first person, much easier.

user posted image

Chapter 2 - A Shady Deal

Me and a few of the other Lost guys from around the Bikershop pulled into a warehouse up in northern Alderney. We were here to pick up some weaponry we were buying from some dealers in Bohan. Something didn’t seem right here though, I mean…can we really trust them? We all walked in, and spotted the dealers a few steps away. Our sawn-offs were kept close, just incase this sh*t went wrong.
“Ah, you’re here? Got the money?” A man in a dark coat asked me
“Yeah, and I’m assuming you’ve got the guns we wanted, right?”
He nodded slowly, with a dirty smile on his face. It seemed so suspicious, but I handed over the cash. This was where this simple deal went to hell. The one in the coat pulled out a pump shotgun and took out one of our boys. He tried to fire at me, but I ducked behind the door of the warehouse.
“sh*t, f*ckin knew this would happen!” I yelled with anger in my voice
I desperately reached for my shotgun, and fired around the corner, at one of the dealers. It missed, but one of the other guys got a shot from his pistol in that f*ck’s face.
“Jack, get the guns! Behind him!” I ordered, pointing to a crate of weapons behind the coated man attacking us.
I moved back into the warehouse, and shot one of the dealers straight in the stomach, turned to their boss and ended up getting a shot in the arm.
“Gahhh, f*ck!” I shouted in pain
But, I had to keep fighting. I raised my shotgun to his head while he reloaded, and blasted in his face. Got pretty damn messy…. Blood all over my jacket. But, we won. I noticed a Baseball bat in his coat, too. Took it for some extra protection. Jack had got the box, like I asked. We opened it up, and there they were. A whole bunch of SMGs.
“Hey, go load these into the truck out back. We need to bring ‘em to the Clubhouse.”

As we were driving back down to the clubhouse, following the truck, some guys on NRGs came up behind us. They looked like they were…friends…of the dealers from before. Didn’t take any chances, so I grabbed the Micro-SMG I took from the stash and fired back at them. I told the others to do the same. But these guys just weren’t gonna leave us the f*ck alone.
“We’re gonna have to lose them, you two go with the truck, the rest of you come with me down this way!”
We made our way through a sh*t load of turns and alleyways, still firing at the assholes behind us. One of them came up beside my bike, but I got the baseball bat from earlier and smashed his face in. There were just two left following us. I reloaded my SMG and took one out. The other was being a real dick. I shot his tire, and he crashed like a bitch. Later along the road we met up with the other guys and the truck. They’d made it back safe too.
“So, how’d it go?” I asked Jack. Jack was one of my best friends in the Lost. He’d been with me since the start and he’s a great guy.
“Yeah, alright. One of them tried to throw a f*cking grenade at us, damn near blew me off my bike. I could have went flying into the wall and…died” Jack replied
I looked inside the truck with a grin on my face.
“We can really start f*cking up those AoD pricks now…”
I made sure my SMG was fully loaded with ammo, and headed inside the clubhouse to get a drink.

bhlegend
  • bhlegend

    Player Hater

  • Members
  • Joined: 23 Nov 2008

#1599

Posted 08 November 2009 - 04:18 PM

Chapter 3


Almost Crashing Into Prison


JD and Mac were in the back of the Albanians truck.

"It stinks in here"said Mac
"SHUT UP OR I WILL RUB YOUR FACE ON THE FLOOR SO YOU SMELL ASWELL"Replied one of the Albanians.

The van started driving faster down the road and was swerving side-to-side.One of the Albanians fell off his seat and fell onto the floor which he ended up accidently pulling the trigger of his Micro-smg which went into the knee of the Albanian oposite him.The man fell on the floor crying out in pain with blood all over his knee.

The back end of the van tilted downwards slightly and the van slide onto its side and rolled over.Everyone in the back of the truck tumbled from each side of the truck to the other.The bleeding Albanian was knocked out and another fell out of the back of the van smashing into the floor face first.
The van stopped rolling and was on its side.JD and Mac were daized and went to run out of the door but the last Albanian ran to a gun on the floor.Just before he picked it up Mac kicked him in the head with the sole of his foot while the Albanian was bent over picking up the gun.He fell straight to the floor and JD kicked him as he ran past.

"HAHA the scum's on the floor"said JD while laughing

Mac spat on the Albanian before leaving.As Mac and JD walked outside they found them selves in Francis airport.

"What are we doing here?"asked Mac
"Don't know but we better get out of here just in case theres more Albanians here."

JD looked back at the truck and saw that the two back tires had come off and that they had burst aswell.Mac pulled a knife out of his sock to cut the rope off of their hands.Just as Mac had finished cutting the rope off of their hands a man in a brown jacket and track suit bottoms came around the corner holding a sniper rifle.

"Hey are you Mac"Said the man in a european accent
"Yeh,and who are you"Replied Mac
"My name is Niko Bellic,i was sent here by Packie to collect a "package" out of a truck.I guess you are the "package."Said Niko
"Thanks Niko,we owe you one."Said JD
"Dont worry Packie is paying me.He also said i have to drop you to Steinway Beer Garden"Said Niko
"Yes please Niko that would be great"Replied Mac

All three of them walked around to the car park were Niko's car was.They got in and headed for Steinway Beer Garden.

"So,are you two part of the Irish MOB.?"Asked Niko
"Yes we are but were not Irish though."Said JD
"Yes i gather that"Said Niko while laughing.

They got to Steinway Beer Garden.

"Thanks for the ride and the help Niko,we owe you"Said Mac
"Thats ok.I will probably see you two again some time.Bye"Said Niko as he drove away.

JD and Mac walked into Steinway Beer Garden and saw that there was two men waiting by the doorway.They were wearing black suits.

"Hey you two stop there FIB"Said one of the men pulling out a badge.
"What do you want"Asked JD
"Are you two Mac Williams and Jay Dunn"Said the other man
"Yeh and whats that got to do with anything"Asked Mac
"We saw you coming out of that turned over truck"Said one man
"We were captured by a rival MOB"Said JD
"Thats bullsh*t.You two are under arrest for the possesion of drugs"Said one of the men in a firm voice as he went to handcuff Mac.
"f*ck YOU"Said Mac as he punched the man in the face which made him drop to the floor.
JD then knee'd the other man in the stomach and then right hooked him while he was bent over.They both made a run for the street but three men stood in the exit.They both stopped as they saw the three men but two Irish MOB members that were sat nearby stood up and shot the three men with Micro-smg's.

"Theres a car around the back alley which is loaded."Said one of them.
"Alright lets go to it."Said Mac

All Four of them got into the car and grabbed a gun.JD had grabbed a Combat Pistol and Mac had a Pump Action Shotgun.

"I'm Phil and this is Kev.Lets quickly get our of here."Said Phil in a breathless voice.

Kev started the car and drove out of the alley and turned left and started going towards Hove Beach.A police car came up behind them.JD started shooting.After a couple of shots Kev,who was driving fast,pulled out a grenade,pulled the pin out and threw it out of the window.

"YIPPEE f*ck YOU POLICE OFFICER"Said Kev as he threw the grenade out of the window.

The grenade blew up when the police car was just in front of it and the back end of the police car shot upwards and the car landed upside down.

They drove to Mohawk Avenue and stopped opposite the Russian clothes shop.JD,Mac and Phil got out while Kev went to ditch the car.They walked down the street to an alleyway next to Comrades Bar.There was a Cognoscenti there which Phil smashed into and hotwired it.They all got in and drove to Phil's house just down the road from the Steinway Beer Garden.They drove past it and saw that police were everywhere.They were questioning people and looking around and patroling the area.

They got to Phil's house and parked the car opposite his house.They walked into his house and sat down on the sofa.

"Well i guess you two should stay here for a few days."Said Phil
"Yeh that would be a good idea,theres cops everywhere."Said JD
"Where are we gonna sleep?"Asked Mac
"I'll make some beds somehow."Said Phil

They then heard a knock at the door.Phil went and answerd it.He opened the door to see two policemen at the door .JD and Mac saw them and jumped out of the back window into the garden.

"Excuse me sir but have you heard anything suspicious in the last hour?"Said one of the policemen.
"No im sorry officer i've heard nothing."Replied Phil
"Have you seen anything happening outside that unusual?"Said the policeman
"No sorry officer."Said Phil
"Ok im sorry if we disturbed you sir.Thank you for your time."Said one of the policemen as they both walked away.

JD and Mac climbed back into Phil's house through the window.
"They made me sh*t my pants"Said Mac who was breathless
"Yeh it's good you two are with me"Said Phil
"Yeh it is."Said JD

Phil walked into the kitchen.A couple of seconds later he turned around to JD and Mac and said
"Well then who wants a burger?"

Big_Mitch_Baker
  • Big_Mitch_Baker

    =Å= Angels of Death - Founder

  • Angels of Death MC
  • Joined: 23 Feb 2005
  • None

#1600

Posted 08 November 2009 - 07:37 PM

QUOTE (aragond @ Nov 8 2009, 06:07)
mercie_blink.gif
Wooaah.
...
You've ... ah ... been thinkin' hard on this one, aye? icon14.gif

@aragond: lol, yeah...I always have an explanation for what's going on behind the scenes, even if I don't mention it in the story itself (I like to let the reader use his imagination as to "why" sometimes).

I try to write the stories in compliance with the existing GTA Canon, and on top of that the "epic chronicle" runs parallel to the GTAIV storyline (filling in the blanks that R* left out), so I have to put a certain amount of thought into it for it to be coherent and line up with existing events.

P.S. I like the way you connect your previous and next chapter with a link, it's a good idea, I think I might start doing that as well (Not trying to jack your idea or nothin', I give ya kudos for thinking of it first)

alen flynn
  • alen flynn

    Player Hater

  • Members
  • Joined: 07 Nov 2009

#1601

Posted 08 November 2009 - 09:59 PM Edited by alen flynn, 08 November 2009 - 10:01 PM.

hi there

I just thought it would be cool to write for a gang like Uptown Riders and I think they should be added.

Here's some territories, weapons, and vehicles:

Uptown Riders
LocationPropertyGang MemberStory Count
Algonquin
Uptown Riders HQ
--
0
Algonquin
Northwood Apartment Block
---
0
WeaponsBaseball Bat, Pistol
VehiclesHakuchou, Double T
Money$100
Assets---
Drug Facilities---
Drugs---
But those are TLaD vehicles, and they aren't added yet. But here they are:

-BIKES: Angel, Bati 800 (Custom), Daemon, Diabolus, Double T (Custom), Hakuchou (Custom), Hexer, Innovation, Lycan, Nightblade, Revenant, Wayfarer, Wolfsbane

-CARS: Gang Burrito, Regina, Slamvan, Prison Bus , Tow Truck

So yeah--I just think that TLaD cars a a little overdue and if these stuff gets added then I'll try writing for the Uptown Riders..

bmx rule
  • bmx rule

    Military Of Mobile Defence Infantry; Private

  • Members
  • Joined: 11 May 2008

#1602

Posted 08 November 2009 - 10:15 PM

your right it has nearly been exactly a year. well hears what happened:

my computer stuffed up around a year ago and it was sent out for repairs well now i had no story writing to complete in my blank time in my schedule, i had to fill up the gap. so i got into building them hobby cars with the glue. well once i got my PC back i had forgotten about BUYG. and only now when i was playing arouynd on free mode well i thought, mayube i should write some stories and video them in Party Mode. though i needed a place to post, and then i remembered BUYG so i asked to join my old position, but it was taken. so ni askeds for honkers and now i was asked what happened to me.

so sorry for any annoyane that caused.

PS: i want Honkers

bmx rule
  • bmx rule

    Military Of Mobile Defence Infantry; Private

  • Members
  • Joined: 11 May 2008

#1603

Posted 08 November 2009 - 10:32 PM

QUOTE (alen flynn @ Nov 8 2009, 21:59)
hi there

I just thought it would be cool to write for a gang like Uptown Riders and I think they should be added.

Here's some territories, weapons, and vehicles:






















Uptown Riders
LocationPropertyGang MemberStory Count
Algonquin
Uptown Riders HQ
--
0
Algonquin
Northwood Apartment Block
---
0
WeaponsBaseball Bat, Pistol
VehiclesHakuchou, Double T
Money$100
Assets---
Drug Facilities---
Drugs---
But those are TLaD vehicles, and they aren't added yet. But here they are:


-BIKES: Angel, Bati 800 (Custom), Daemon, Diabolus, Double T (Custom), Hakuchou (Custom), Hexer, Innovation, Lycan, Nightblade, Revenant, Wayfarer, Wolfsbane

-CARS: Gang Burrito, Regina, Slamvan, Prison Bus , Tow Truck
So yeah--I just think that TLaD cars a a little overdue and if these stuff gets added then I'll try writing for the Uptown Riders..

now i know im not not BUYG staff and im not saying no, but most of these bikes people probably havent seen, so maybe posting pictures of the bikes so that people will post storys in the uptown riders. because no picture of their vehicles means its harder to write a story like for example these 2 texts:

without knowing what they look like:
i got on my Hakuchou with parts of the engine sticking out next to my leg, as i pulled the throttled the exhausts shook vishiously.

with knowing what they look like:
i got on my Hakuchou with the exhaust line sticking out next to my leg, as i pulled the throttle the razor sharp ended exhausts shook vishously.

tell me which one is better. BUYG is this a good hint to alex_Flynn?

PS. thaose texts werent editted

alen flynn
  • alen flynn

    Player Hater

  • Members
  • Joined: 07 Nov 2009

#1604

Posted 08 November 2009 - 10:47 PM Edited by alen flynn, 08 November 2009 - 10:51 PM.

Wow. I haven't actually seen anyone even write like that, bmx rule. People who don't know what they look like usually LOOK THEM UP.

Anybody who plays TLaD has a chance of seeing these bikes whenever they roam around Algonquin.

You know the vehicles are easily found in the GTA Wikia right?

Double T
Hakuchou

And tell me, bmx rule, who's alex_Flynn?

bmx rule
  • bmx rule

    Military Of Mobile Defence Infantry; Private

  • Members
  • Joined: 11 May 2008

#1605

Posted 08 November 2009 - 11:00 PM Edited by bmx rule, 08 November 2009 - 11:02 PM.

QUOTE (alen flynn @ Nov 8 2009, 22:47)
Wow. I haven't actually seen anyone even write like that, bmx rule. People who don't know what they look like usually LOOK THEM UP.

Anybody who plays TLaD has a chance of seeing these bikes whenever they roam around Algonquin.

You know the vehicles are easily found in the GTA Wikia right?

Double T
Hakuchou

And tell me, bmx rule, who's alex_Flynn?

soz alen flynn is what i ment

and soz i play PS3 so i havnt seen or heard the lost and damned

PS. im still waiting responce on varifacation on Honkers

alen flynn
  • alen flynn

    Player Hater

  • Members
  • Joined: 07 Nov 2009

#1606

Posted 08 November 2009 - 11:08 PM

ok icon14.gif

Sorry about the clutter in the topic BUYG staff/writers..

Just waiting to hear the response on the Uptown Riders

Osric
  • Osric

    In The Name Of The Moon

  • Members
  • Joined: 12 Apr 2009

#1607

Posted 08 November 2009 - 11:27 PM

If a major gang like the Ancelotti Family won't be added, I doubt they'll add a minor gang like the Uptown Riders.

The Ancelottis played a MASSIVE role in IV, TLAD, and BOGT, but the Uptown Riders are a minor gang in TLAD.

Vercetti27
  • Vercetti27

    Staunton Faction

  • Members
  • Joined: 18 Jan 2009

#1608

Posted 08 November 2009 - 11:33 PM

I'd love to see the ancelottis in BUYG nervous.gif

aragond
  • aragond

    We are the Aragond. We will bury you.

  • Members
  • Joined: 26 Aug 2007
  • None

#1609

Posted 09 November 2009 - 01:25 AM

QUOTE (Osric @ Nov 9 2009, 09:27)
If a major gang like the Ancelotti Family won't be added, I doubt they'll add a minor gang like the Uptown Riders.

The Ancelottis played a MASSIVE role in IV, TLAD, and BOGT, but the Uptown Riders are a minor gang in TLAD.

I think Osric here is on the money.
As Skramz lately said, unless there's a sudden burst of participants, there's too many empty spots and thus no need to add another Mafia gang.
As for the Uptowns, there's the NHH for a north Algonquin gang, and the AoD + TL for bikie gangs. Yeah, I know it's not the same, but... eh. confused.gif


QUOTE (bmx rule @ Nov 9 2009, 09:00)
PS. im still waiting responce on varifacation on Honkers

It's yours, bmx, if you can post a story before anybody else. Just check the past couple of pages that no one's claimed it. confused.gif Otherwise, staff will process very shortly. (I happen to know.)

PS; bmx, thanks for defusing what could have turned into a punch-up. BUYG doesn't need those.


QUOTE (alen flynn @ Nov 8 2009, 22:47)
Anybody who plays TLaD has a chance of seeing these bikes whenever they roam around Algonquin.

Correct. Nail on the head.
And, now, how many of us have Xbox 360s?

I can't speak for staff, but I think 'cuz TLAD and BoGT were Xbox exclusive, not everyone is gonna have the opportunity to know what it is that people are talking about when they refer to this or that bike/car/ etc... Sure, you can look it up, but that's like writing for BUYG without having IV. Hell, which one of us doesn't go into IV to test, research or check-out details about what we're gonna be writing about? If you can't do it 'cuz you run on PC or PS3, it's kinda limiting... (That said, I suspect all the TLAD weapons got included.) Eh, maybe that sounds weak-ass to someone who has an Xbox, but it is a limitation.

Or maybe they just don't want to redo the cars table again. I hear it was a b!7ch the first time. lol.gif

Build Up Your Gang
  • Build Up Your Gang

    Join BUYG Today!

  • Members
  • Joined: 24 Mar 2008

#1610

Posted 09 November 2009 - 09:41 AM Edited by Build Up Your Gang, 09 November 2009 - 04:17 PM.

I'm stealing Colt's format to disguise the fact that it's not Colt. biggrin.gif

As it's my first ratings, a quick lesson for all in grammar:
  1. "Frankies going to the bathroom" should be "Frankie's going..." because "Frankies" is short for "Frankie is "
  2. Same for the word don't NOT dont because it's short for "Do no t", the apostrophe present for the missing letters.
  3. Which brings me to the second-most misunderstood piece of grammar in the english language: it's and its and it's friends that's et al. It's short for It i s , while Its is when something belongs to "it", and is the only time you're dropping the apostrophe when, normally, you ought to have it.
  4. Which brings me to the most misunderstood piece of grammar in the english language: your is when it belongs to you, and you're is short for you a re as in you are going to the shops becomes "You're going to the shops?" .
  5. You don't need an apostrophe for an entirely missing word ("what" in this case) in " ' The f*ck is that?"
  6. Please, please remember that if a different person is talking, they get their own, brand-spanking-new paragraph. There's rare and specific exceptions, but as a rule let's follow this one.
  7. Take care with quoting ppl: "I'm going out," he said. The "he" should not be capitalised, and there is a comma, not a full-stop, at the end of the quote (just before the other " ) The non-capitalising of "he" even applies when the comma is a question mark or exclamation, as in: "You going out?" he asked.
  8. And on that, remember that the commas, exclamation and question marks go inside the quotes of the person speaking if the person is speaking them. If, on the other hand, someone is quoting someone else, it goes a little something like this: "What do you mean by 'it's broken'?" he demanded.
  9. Remember, when you speak, sometimes a sentence has pauses in it, and those pauses are commas, as in: "Yeah, well, f*ck you," he shouted. "Yeah" and "well" are separate sub-parts to the sentence "he" is saying, so they deserve commas after them.
  10. ok is not a word. Don't use it. The correct word is okay or MAYBE O.K.
  11. If you're having a phone conversation, it's normal to break up each piece on a separate paragraph to emphasise the gaps when the other person is talking.
  12. Full-stops ("periods" to some of you) are ALWAYS followed by a space. (Except when they end a paragraph, of course.)
  13. Three full-stops in a row "..." can be used in dialogue, sure. DON'T use it in your narrative. There's no pauses in a narrative unless you DESCRIBE there to be. Using "..." is lazy.
  14. A paragraph should just be followed by either none or one blank line (preferrably one) consistently, and instead use your story-telling to make sure readers know the scene has changed or we've gone across town. Paragraphs shouldn't be used as literary devices (to, like, divide up your story), they should be plain and therefore easy to read.
  15. Try to avoid using bracketed text, and certainly not in the middle of someone speaking. It's just rude to interrupt them. wink.gif Instead, break your speaker like this: "And when the truck arrives," Joe said, turning to Frankie, "you'll greet the driver."
  16. Unless you're writing in the first person, I'd not use first person-isms like "But oh no, it's not over..." like the narrator is getting chummy with me. OTOH, you can have your character think it: But, oh, no, couldn't be THAT easy, he thought to himself.
  17. And one just for you, .2D: "Well I'll see what they want, if I think they're getting too close i'll kill 'em both." Sonny replied. should either be "Well , I'll see what they want . I f I think they're getting too close I'll kill 'em both , " Sonny replied. OR "Well , I'll see what they want , and if I think they're getting too close I'll kill 'em both," Sonny replied.
Remember always, friends, grammar is your friend in writing stories, and anything that makes it easier for a reader is always the best. smile.gif

~ Grammar Nerd

Okay, to ratings, to ratings.

.2D
Angels of Death | Hi-Way Auto-Shop | Seventh (?!) story
$33
Didn't seem to me your best work, .2D. Nothing really happened for most of the story: a conversation with drunk Billy here, with the FIB there, and then we go'n' miss all the action with the Triads. For what went on, it could have been a lot more compact.
I mean, don't get me wrong, "nothing happens" stories are good, too, but they've still gotta be as "action"-packed with "action" that is learning things about the gang, the people or what's behind the scenes. Follow me?
And watch your grammar, a fair few mistakes.
Oh, plus, this appears to actually be your SIXTH story, not your seventh since the last one was #5?!?! I'll check that out.

Tarnell
Petrovic Bratva | 69th Street Diner | First story
$37
Aragond pretty-much reviewed this to death, so I won't labour it. Remember to break-up long paragraphs because it makes it easier to read. An easy break on the first paragraph might have been at the sailor shouting at Vlad to get inside or at a point where the action changes, like when the ship cracked open and water rushed in. And though it's short, and needs attention paid to grammar (yes, I understand, three years), I like this as an opening effort. I look forward to more.

Big Mitch Baker
Angels of Death | AoD Clubhouse | Chapter Seven
$43
Aragond pretty-much reviewed this to death, so I won't labour it. This is a very good effort: clear, exciting, well-structured; but I can't help feeling there's better you could have done with this; reinforced by your own admission, I guess.
The dialogue could have been more concise, some paragraphs might be better broken-up a little. But, hey, story gripping, basics (spelling, grammar) good ... apparently you on a bad day is still something to aspire to. smile.gif
And, I need to research the penalties previously imposed for using a weapon illegally before I impose sentence. wink.gif (Or, the next staff can impose it.) So, penalty pending .

Vercetti27
Pegorino Family | Pegorino Mansion | Chapter One
$39
Excellent opening! I can't emphasise enough how important that is for grabbing people to keep reading. Well done.
You've got a good handle on expression, pretty solid grammar and spelling (watch your punctuation; see (viii) above), an exciting way to start your stories off, and a short, punchy story that introduces Louie as a bad-ass as well as sets up that the Pegs and Ancels are probably at war.
If I do have a critique, it's the realism factor. Five cars, I'm guessing ten guys (I counted six) Louie killed without so much as a scratch. He gets cars to explode just from driving through his molotov's flames, and seems to have a suit jacket much like Niko's magic jacket that can carry a boot biggrin.gif -full of weaponry and ammo'. (He "remembered" that he had a whiskey bottle-sized molotov in his jacket?! You could have just said he carried it with him from the car.)
If you're going for parody of IV's unrealism, then make sure we are in on the joke. Otherwise, just keep realism in mind. It's not a BUYG penalty thing, I'm not bothered, but unrealism tends to mean you lose readers' interest.

Pegorino Family | Pegorino Mansion | Chapter Two
$37
Okay, a set-up story for something exciting in chapter three. A few punctuation problems came through in this one, so keep vigilent, and try not to use line-spacing to dart from one person to another.
I like your emerging characters, and it's building tension well.
(PS; If Jimmy is the same Jimmy from GTA IV, maybe give us hints about when this story is set, 'cuz it feels like it's a decade or more before GTA IV. Eg; with Ray as a mere informant, not a capo. Which is perfectly okay, but drop us hints so we can play, too. Unless it's important for us not to know yet? Hey, up to you.)

Aragond
Pegorino Family | Recycling Plant | Story #10
$--
What the cheesits is wrong with the formatting?! Actually, I'm told I'm not allowed to rate this, so can someone do the honours? Personally, I thought it was pure genius. Or total tosh. I'm ambivalent. smile.gif
Rating pending

The Virus
The Lost | Marty's Bikershop | Chapter 1
$27
A new beginning with a punchy opening act always helps draw readers in. Good work.
Things to watch out for: grammar around quotes, and feel free to break up your chunkier paragraphs. (Just easier to read.)
It was also a little short, at only ~500 words, though, which could have been avoided. You certainly could have given us more about Danny, maybe about why the bike was stolen. But, I respect conciseness, so if that's all the story there was, brevity wins.

The Lost | Marty's Bikershop | Chapter 2
$32
Firstly, don't post stories within 24-hours of eachother. It's a BUYG no-no. Hold it, wait, and post the next day. (It's just if we had everybody post once a day, we'd already have thirty posts. Twice a day... you get the picture.)
Secondly, no, the rules do state (at least they bloody should) that you cannot buy new weapons for your gang until you've written five stories for that gang. It's just a courtesy thing to stop new gang members blowing another member's hard-earned money. So, I'm going to NOT buy those weapons for you, but since you didn't know, I'll ignore the fact you used them in this story. If you want them in future stories, you'll have to con one of the other Lost to buy them for you.
I liked the story, though it was, again, a little short. And you could easily have expanded on the whole chase. Sure, no one likes a long, boring, detail-burdened chase scene, but each one of your sentences had a lot of action wrapped in it that might have been expanded on.
Still, I thought this was good work.
PS; I yelled with anger in my voice . What else would you be yelling in, other than your voice? I yelled in anger. is fine, and, for bonus points: I screamed in rage.
PPS; Just a small thing: reading centred text is harder for readers, 'cuz you can't just follow the next line back to the far-left of the page, but have to go searching for where the next line begins. If you're gonna use it, think about putting extra blank lines between paragraphs so it's easier for us to see where the left edge of the last line of the paragraph is. Follow me?

bhlegend
Irish Mob | Steinway Beer Garden | Chapter 3
$23
I think it fair to say an improvement on your previous efforts, which is good. Still a lot of punctuation and spacing issues to nail down.
Your story seemed to bounce about and do a lot, but I'm not sure I really grasped what the point of it all was aside from an odyssey for their escape.
A cop car is blown on its roof and there isn't an APB to find the culprits? You could have expanded on that.
Illegal use of a hand grenade: penalty pending .

~ Aragond, on behalf of Skramz who's being examined ... thoroughly ... for diseases, I'm sure. biggrin.gif
This took 16,000 hours to do.

Slingaa
  • Slingaa

    Unbowed, unbent, unbroken.

  • Members
  • Joined: 19 Sep 2009

#1611

Posted 09 November 2009 - 03:42 PM

@bmx rule- please stop double posting; just edit your initial post.

And if you want to join an existing gang, just start writing. The team will add you later.

Vercetti27
  • Vercetti27

    Staunton Faction

  • Members
  • Joined: 18 Jan 2009

#1612

Posted 09 November 2009 - 06:46 PM

no I wasn't parodying IV's unrealism biggrin.gif thanks for rating icon14.gif

tarnell
  • tarnell

    Li'l G Loc

  • Members
  • Joined: 22 Jul 2009

#1613

Posted 09 November 2009 - 06:56 PM

Petrovic Bratva

69th street dinner




'Russian not Jamaican'

Vlad was known to be associated with some thugs back in Russia. It wasn’t anything special, they did the usual stuff like: robberies, murders, gang fights, car jacking and blackmailing. He had no idea what things are happening on the cold streets of Liberty City. But his cousin does, hell he is popular in Hove Beach, or how they say it in Russia, ‘avtaritet’. When he first came to Liberty, he was ‘shisterka’ (the lowest rank in Russian mafia, which mean ‘6’) but then he slowly got up the rank and now controls a few guys that are loyal to him and he is Petrovics right hand man.

After Vlad read the note he made his way downstairs. He didn’t own a vehicle, so walking was the only choice, since the taxi costs a lot these days. A few minutes of healthy walking didn’t heart him. Finally he reached the dinner. As he opened the door ‘ Zang’ the bell went off and the woman that worked shouted with no passion or a bit of happiness, seems like her life is dull and full of darkness.
‘Hey, welcome to our Restaurant! What do you want?’
‘Ahh shut up you stupid cow!’ Alexander suddenly interfered ‘ Vlad, good to see you came to your senses, come on I will introduce you to someone’ he added and dragged Vlad to a table in the far corner. As they slowly walked to the table, Vlad saw a Slavic looking guy and a American-Mexican guy sitting on a table. He couldn’t help listening to some of their conversations. It was the first time Vlad saw Gay people, back in Russia there are not many of them, even if there are people do not take kindly to that. As they approached the table, Vlad saw three men talking in Russian.
‘Horosho bratan, mi budem tam scora.’ (Ok brother, we will be there soon) one of the men said while talking on the phone. The other two were laughing hard, probably a funny joke. As we approached one of them hung up the phone and all three looked at us.
‘This is my cousin Vlad, the one who came from Russia yesterday’ Alex said
‘Ahh, dobro pajaloviti v Amerike bratan’ (Ahh, welcome to America brother) one of them warmly greeted Vlad ‘I am Valera, this is Nikolai and this asshole is Vasili’ he added as he pointed at the two men in leatherjackets sitting next to him.
‘f*ck you, you garbage eating prick’ Vasili and all of them started to laugh. Vlad and Alex sat down and Nikolai said:
‘ Look at those fags over there, a Serbian and a Mexican’ he said and laughed.
‘Want to have some fun with this pussy’s?’ Asked Valera. As soon as the last words came out of his mouth, the Slavic guy stood up and pulled out a micro SMG out of his pocket, the Mexican guy stood up and desperately started to run to the front door, without even giving it a thought the east European guy started to fire at the running away fa**ot. All the people including the five Russian ducked down, after a full clip has gone into the poor Mexicans back, the Slavic guy, which was dressed in some blue sport costume, run outside and got in a car.
‘Chto za huynea!’ (What the f*ck!) Alex shouted.
‘ To think that gays are so f*cking dangerous’ Nikolai said
‘f*ck him, lets go, Ruslan is waiting for us’ Valera said and all the men stood up and walked to the front door is style, to let everyone know who they are.

All of them got in two black cars; they were bad, but still better then the subway. Slowly the cars drove one after another.
‘Hey cousin, can I put on the radio?’ Vlad asked
‘Sure, here let me put in Radio Vladivostok, music from the old country’ Alex replied and turned on the radio. As soon as the radio came on, Vlads favourite music came on, Mama - by Basta.
‘Your favourite music, huh cousin?’ Alex asked
‘Yeah, it reminds me oh home’ Vlad replied, got the volume on so that even the pedestrians outside could hear it and faced the window. After a while of driving in a nice row, with a few naughty taxi drivers injured, the cars have finally reached a big white mansion in BeachGate. As they got off, Alex said to Vlad.
‘Hey, this is Petrovics son, be careful what you say or do’
Then all five went to the front door and Alex knocked on the door. A big guy answered the door.
‘Ruslan is waiting for you in his office’ the big guy said with a deep voice and a strong Russian accent. Then again everyone started to move towards a big wooden door. The house was beautiful, something that Vlad has never seen before, he only dreamed about something like that, once while on the ship to U.S.A. All five guys stopped outside Ruslans door and then Nikolai knocked on the door. A voice from inside shouted.
‘Come in girls’
As the men got in, they discovered Ruslan with a rose in his mouth, lying on the desk, wearing a nice white suit.
‘Ahh sh*t, can’t you warn me you are coming’ Ruslan said as he got of the table, then threw the flower to the side. Everyone started to giggle.
‘You think I can’t see you laughing?’ Ruslan said ‘ I swear to God, if someone finds out about this, I will personally kill all of you… who is he?’ he added
‘Ahh yeah, this is my cousin from Russian, Vlad.’ Alex said
‘Ok so he is one of us now, welcome aboard.’ Ruslan said,’ Ok patani (guys), go to Schotler and kill those f*cking rastas, take the drugs and report back here, got it? Good’ Ruslan added and let everyone know that its time to leave and do the work. We got in the cars and started to move towards Schotler. While driving Alexander said.
‘Hey cousin look in the back seat, there some weapons, pick whatever you like’
Vlad looked in the back; there were so many weapons to choose from, that he couldn’t make his mind. His final decision was the Ak’77, mini SMG and the combat pistol.
‘I like your style Vlad’ Alexander said
Suddenly Alexander’s phone started to ring, he told me to pick it up, since he was driving.
‘Hey Alex we are approaching, get ready’ Vasili said and hung up.
‘It was Vasili, I think, he said to get ready’ Vlad said and checked his guns one more time, so he doesn’t get in an awkward position with a bad or unloaded weapon.
The time was 01:00. The cars slowly stopped and the lights went off, all of them got out the cars and made a small circle.
‘Ok Vlad and me are going to get their attention, while you three bastards are going from behind, any questions?’ Alex revealed the plan. All started to move towards the assigned places. Alexander and Vlad reached the place and were spying on the Jamaican drug dealers. They were hanging around, there was six of them, shouldn’t be a problem for five Russian killers, that are attacking by surprise. One of them was heard saying something about a deal going down in one hour. As the ambush was about to begin. Nikolais phone went off. Was a good moment for Ruslan to call. The confused Jamaicans started to shoot their weak pistols at the corner were the phone was heard, the darkness was Nikolais shield without it he was probably dead by now.
As the shoots were heard, Alex and Vlad both started to blind fire in the dark, as lamppost nearby got destroyed by a f*cked up, scared pedestrian in a black Cavalcade. After a few minutes the Jamaicans were dead, everyone run to the cars, while Vasili grabbed the drugs. Then all the cars rapidly drove away. What know one knew is that one Jamaican, escaped and run to Homebrew café to inform the others of have happened. Back at Ruslans.
‘Thanks for calling in the good time’ Nikolai was being sarcastic
‘Sorry how was I suppose to know? You got the stuff?’
‘Yeah’ Vasili said and gave him the coke.

Colt M14
  • Colt M14

    BUYGIV: Spanish Lords

  • Members
  • Joined: 28 Feb 2009

#1614

Posted 09 November 2009 - 08:32 PM

QUOTE (Build Up Your Gang @ Nov 9 2009, 20:41)
I'm stealing Colt's format to disguise the fact that it's not Colt. biggrin.gif

So wait, who are you? Also, thats a real good grammar lesson, I suggest everyone read it.

.2D
  • .2D

    I Shed The Blood of Saxon Men

  • Andolini Mafia Family
  • Joined: 25 Jun 2009
  • United-Kingdom

#1615

Posted 10 November 2009 - 09:54 PM

@Whoever rated my story, O_O.
I know it wasnt my best, andI got my number confused because I didnt write for a while and cocked up a few things tounge2.gif , with my last story I tryed to change it a bit, because all of my other ones are pretty much people shooting and blowing stuff up and i got bored of doing that so I decided to change it a bit. Ill have a bit of a think about how I'm going to do my next one.
I'm scared of you rating my storys, you pick out every tiny itsy bitsy mistake and its scary tounge2.gif

Build Up Your Gang
  • Build Up Your Gang

    Join BUYG Today!

  • Members
  • Joined: 24 Mar 2008

#1616

Posted 11 November 2009 - 02:59 AM

QUOTE (.2D @ Nov 10 2009, 21:54)
@Whoever rated my story, O_O.
...
I'm scared of you rating my storys, you pick out every tiny itsy bitsy mistake and its scary tounge2.gif

Well, that would be a very unintended and unfortunate consequence of the review. My goal is to spur yous to greater heights, not to cripple your writing with angst.

If I was too finecky, write it off as first-rating nerves.
Just write. I pledge to lighten up in future.

Vercetti27
  • Vercetti27

    Staunton Faction

  • Members
  • Joined: 18 Jan 2009

#1617

Posted 11 November 2009 - 04:10 PM Edited by Vercetti27, 12 November 2009 - 01:56 PM.

user posted image

Pegorino Family
The Pegorino Mansion
Chapter 3
Sabotage

Louie slowly rested his left foot onto the stiff brakes of the Sentinel. The car stopped at the northeast coast of Alderney.
“Right guys, into the boat. Louie, you can drive a boat, can’t ya”? Asked Jimmy as he shut the car door.
Louie looked at Jimmy with a slight expression of annoyance as he stepped off the jetty down into the Squalo. Marco and Pete were moving the coke into the central storage unit, which was in the middle of the driver’s seat and the passengers.

As Louie started the powerful engine of the Squalo, he revved the rusty engine several times to warm it up.
“This boats a little old. Got another”?
“What are you f*cking talking about? What type of mafia family do you think we are…oh, yes we do. But my associate Phil Bell’s using it to meet up with us separately. Now come on, go”. Jimmy was sat in the back of the boat, armed with a combat shotgun.

Louie took a big breath of the fresh sea air as he pulled the Squalo out into the cold Humbolt River. The air was crisp, and fresh. As the Squalo bolted down the Humbolt, Jimmy gave Phil instructions on getting to the Island before them and watching out for any possible Ancelotti attack.

Phil was one of Jimmy’s main men. He had known him for over 20 years, and trusted him more than he could trust Louie, despite being his nephew. Louie had never met Phil, which he wanted to. He wanted to know more about the group of people his uncle worked with.

The Squalo docked at the western pier on Happiness Island. It was an appropriate setting for such a deal. The statue of Happiness overlooking as the Pegorino’s stepped off the boat, Marco grasping the bag of Coke tightly in his hands. Louie took a thick cut Italian cigar from his inside pocket from his suit.

Jimmy leant over and lit the cigar with his solid gold lighter.
“Dirty habit, m’boy”. Jimmy laughed, walking over to the centre of the Island. It was still late morning. The island was pretty quiet. Waves pounded with coast of the island, as the wind slashed through the air.

Jimmy waited until two touristy types were out of site before calling Phil again.
“Phil, you here”?
“I’m at the opposite end of the island. I’ll alert you when the Pavanos arrive. Alright Phil, you just tell me if any motherf*cking Ancelotti asshole arrive”.
“Sure Mr P”
“And don’t call me Mr.P”?
Jimmy hung up his phone.

Marco and Pete were stood together, Marco holding a combat shotgun. Marco’s facial expression was anxious, and nervous. Louie tapped Marco’s shoulder, to comfort him. Pete was stood holding the coke. He slung it from the burning grip of his hand and slung the straps over his shoulder.

Pete opened his mouth.
“Hey, uh, boss. Do you even need me for this”?
“For f*cks sake Pete. Of course. We’re a little thin in numbers at the moment. I wouldn’t have called for you if I weren’t desperate”.
Pete was understandably shaky, and nervous.


“Hey Marco, what’s the time”? Asked Jimmy, as he groomed the thin hair on his head.
“28th of March 1991”.
“The TIME you stupid asshole”! Pegorino almost took joy in venting his anger on Marco and Pete.
“Oh. Ok. Uh…uh, 11:35”.
“Alright then. These Pavano slimballs are gonna be here any minute. Stay calm”.

Louie was stood still, alert and focused. Jimmy fuddled around in his pocket, trying to answer his phone.
“Phil”?
“Boss, the Pavanos have arrived. They’re in a helicopter. About 5 of them, two heavily armed. Be on your guard”.
“Alright. Wait for the Ancelottis”.

“Alright boys, this is it. Showtime. Let’s just unload the junk for any price. We stole it for the Pavanos”.
“Alright boss”, answered Marco and Pete. Both nervous. They were both in there early twenties, bottom feeders is one way to describe them.
Louie was older, more experienced. He knew what to do. He grew up with his uncle being the boss of a small group of organised Italian gangsters.

As the muffled buzzing of the Helicopter died down, 5 figures emerged from behind the other side of the statue. The Pavanos. One of them was bald, had dark skin and wore sunglasses. Louie could recognise him easily. The rest were just average goons.

One Pavano on the right was holding a briefcase. The others all were armed and looked that they would shoot any second. Pete swallowed hard. He was sweating. He had never been face to face with an opposition gang before. On the other hand, Jimmy was relaxed.

“Hello gentlemen. Glad you could make it. Have you got the money”?
The boss with the sunglasses nodded. He turned his head to the goon on the right, who was carrying the briefcase. The goon bent over and opened the suitcase on the ground.

Inside was at least $20,000. Louie could tell, just by looking at it. He used to count money for his dad, Micky, back when he was a kid. The goon left the briefcase in the middle, between the two gangs.

“Ok then. Pete. Put the briefcase in the middle”, Jimmy ordered, without looking at Pete. His eyes were fixated on the Pavanos.
Pete slowly stumbled into the middle. His eyes were uncertain, as he slowly took off the bag of coke from around his neck. He bent over and rested the bag next to the briefcase, on the Pavano side.

Jimmy nodded with the Pavano boss. Both went to collect their package before Pegorino’s phone rang. He quickly answered.

“Phil”? His voice was urgent and worried.
“The Ancelottis have arrived”.

bhlegend
  • bhlegend

    Player Hater

  • Members
  • Joined: 23 Nov 2008

#1618

Posted 11 November 2009 - 07:07 PM Edited by bhlegend, 11 November 2009 - 09:28 PM.

Chapter 3


The Betrayal


JD woke up.He had a blurred vision and he rubbed his eyes until he could see propally.He stood up off of his matress and walked into Phil's living room.Phil and Mac were watching t.v.
"Mornin' JD"Said Phil in a jolly voice
"Morning Phil"Replied JD in a croacky voice.
JD slumped back into his temporary room and got changed.While he was putting on his t-shirt he walked into the kitchen.As he was pouring the cereal into his bowl a car pulled up outside with the end of a gun pointing out of the back window.JD ran into the living room shouting"GET ON THE FLOOR!!"While pulling Mac and Phil down with him.

The gun fired lots of bullets through the windows and while still firing ,the gunman pointed it at the door,shot it a couple of times and it flew backwards into the living room.Phil grabbed two Pistols from under his sofa,tossed one to JD and they both got closer to the door and started firing.A gunman came out of the opposite side of the car and took cover behind it.
JD took out one of the front tires and then aimed for the driver.
The gunman in the back was still firing at Phil's house.
"Phil have you got anymore guns!"Shouted Mac while there was still bullets firing everywhere.
"Yeah behind the t.v"Replied Phil while still trying to kill the gunmen in the car.
Mac reached behind the t.v and grabbed the grip of a Pump Action Shotgun.As soon as Mac had the gun in both of his hands he made a run for the back window and jumped through the open window.JD and Phil were still trading bullets with the car but stopped when they heard a massive gunshot hitting the car and the back door come off with the gunman falling out with blood all over him.Then Mac appeared from next to the house.

JD fired at the driving seat because the driver was lying down for cover.The other gunman behind the car came forward towards Mac but Phil took a lucky shot which skimmed the roof of the car and hit the man in the temple.JD's final shot hit the driver in the arm and Mac came up close to the car,stuck his Pump Action Shotgun through the window and fired twice.

The inside of the car was ruined with bloodstains and bullet holes as Mac walked back into Phil's house looking proud of how he sickly killed the driver.The outside of Phil's house was ruined.Smashed windows and bullets holes were all over his house as he slumped down onto the sofa and started thinking what to do.

Suddenly a police siren was heard from Phil's living room and the police would walk right in as Phil's door was in his living room shredded into peaces.All three of them climbed out of the back window and made a run out into the garden.They jumped over the fence and ran down the street.JD's heart was beating very fast as they turned the corner of the street.
There were cars stopped at the traffic lights as it started raining.Mac ran up to a Vincent which was stopped in the traffic,he opened the door and threw the man out and they all quickly got in as the rain was getting heavy.Mac headed for Bohan but suddenly realised that the police would be at the pay toll.So Mac turned and headed for Hove Beach.

Phil's phone started ringing.He answered it and it was Kev who sounded like he was near a big engine of something.
"Kev were are you?"Asked Phil
JD and Mac could not hear Kevs replies.
"Yeh,ok,"Said Phil who then put this phone back into his pocket.
"Mac keep going through Hove beach.Kev will come to us in a helicopter."Said Phil.

Then two police cars sirens were heard coming towards them and Mac put his foot down on the pedal and went zooming down Mohawk Avenue.JD started firing at the police cars as they closed in on them.One of the police cars got close and shot the back tire and the car started skidding from side to side.Mac tried to turn right but the car skidded and crashed into the fence that seperated the beach from the road with the bonnet getting crushed into a small box shape and the car slowley tipped over the fence onto its roof.

JD opened his car door and fell out.He was stunned from the crash and walked towards the sea and falling over with pain in his rips and legs.Mac got out and stumbled over right next to the car.Phil stayed in the car for a couple of seconds and then got out with a Combat Pistol in his hand which he had from the attack on his house.
Phil looked pissed off and shouted"WHY DID YOU DO THAT YOU STUPID IDIOT!!"
Mac replied"It wasn't my fault they shot the tire"
Phil pointed the Combat Pistol at Mac and said"I don't work with scum"and shot Mac in the left arm right on the bicep.
Mac fell to the ground in pain and Phil turned to JD.
"Hey JD,tell that son of a bitch McCeary im leaving to run my own buissness.Ow and thats if you survive."Said Phil as he shot JD in the stomach.
JD fell to the ground as Phil ran away and the police were close by.Then a helicopter came from above JD and landed behind him.Two men got out and carried JD and Mac onto the helicopter with police shooting at the helicopter.They quickly flew upwards and then got away.
JD who was daized and in pain looked at the driver.
It was Kev.

Spank-head69
  • Spank-head69

    Square Civilian

  • Members
  • Joined: 31 Dec 2008

#1619

Posted 12 November 2009 - 01:13 AM Edited by Spank-head69, 12 November 2009 - 01:17 AM.

I apologize for the long delay. It was mostly due to procrastination, because I couldn't stand waiting for my slow computer to start up. I eventually found the problem, and now it's working fine, so I should be more active. I also apologize for Pavel and Boris's lack of personality, basically leaving them "blank" and unimportant in a way, but I intend to make them more interesting in later chapters.

Chapter 3: Plain and Simple
Petrovic Bratva

Oleg parked up across the street from the projects.
“Wait here.” He told us, and he stepped out of the car. Moments later, he returned with a bag full of micro-SMGs, pump shotguns, and pistols.

“Not exactly the ‘heavy firepower’ I was expecting.” I said, taking one of each gun out of the bag.

“Well, I guess Eduard didn’t have NOOSE in mind when he got them,“ Oleg said impatiently, “and it appears that he was right.”

Then it occurred to me, our guy had police protection, and seemingly a sh*tload of it. We stepped out of the Rebla, each armed with one of each firearm, save Boris, who took only a pump shotgun and pistol. My own weapons were hidden somewhere on my person. I didn’t want to start a firefight before I even knew where my target was.

“So, what’s the plan?” I asked the others.

“We go in with guns blazing.” Oleg answered in an enthusiastic tone.

His answer wasn’t very surprising, and I was more concerned with his plan for finding our target.
“How are you planning on finding our guy?” I asked him.

“We create a disturbance on the bottom floor, then wait for his attempt to escape with the cops. Plain and simple.” Oleg began to walk towards the projects.

The rest of us followed, and I noticed dozens of cops around the area. They were really determined to protect this guy, I thought. I can’t say that I jumped for joy when I saw the amount of cops we’d have to kill. The four of us, against f*ck knows how many. They obviously weren’t going to keep the informant in the area forever, they had to move him out eventually. We could’ve simply waited for the moment and took him out while he was being escorted, escaped in our Rebla, and gotten our car resprayed. I tried to inform that dumbass Oleg when he stopped walking.

“Why are you stop-” I then noticed Oleg reach for his pistol. He couldn’t seriously be thinking of firing, I thought, but I was wrong. Oleg began to fire at one of the cops near the entrance to the building, and he hit him in the shoulder. He fell over, clutching his shoulder, and his buddy attempted to retaliate, but I shot him in the neck before he could fire.

“Oleg, what the f*ck are you doing!?” I yelled, but before he could speak, Pavel and Boris were firing at dozens of cops coming towards us.

I quickly slid into cover behind a brick wall, my heart racing with fear as multiple bullets were heading towards my brain. I took out my micro-SMG and blind fired at the cops coming for me. I seemed to have hit one, as I heard somebody scream in pain and also yells of “Hoffman’s down,”. As the officers examined this man, I fled to another area, where I was able to take cover behind another brick wall. I shot and killed at an officer that was aiming at Pavel, and he just seemed to have noticed him because he fired at his chest several times after he was already dead.

Whatever Pavel said at that point, I have no idea, because I panicked at the sight of another cop aiming at me not too far away. Before I could do anything, he was shot in the head with a pistol. As he fell to the ground, Oleg and Boris came into sight, Boris reloading.

“Oleg, behind you!” Pavel yelled all of a sudden.

The same cop that Oleg had hit in the shoulder was aiming for him while on the ground. Oleg turned, but the officer was apparently surprised by Pavel’s warning, and when he fired he hit Boris’s chest.
“sh*t!” Boris yelled, or maybe it was the officer when Oleg fired several shots into different areas on him, including his head.

We didn’t see any more cops in our presence, not yet, at least, because the officer’s actions prior to his death weren’t fortunate for us. We heard sirens in the distance, forcing us to separate and take cover.

“f*ck, he must’ve called for backup.” Oleg said, firing as he took cover behind yet another brick wall.

“Get Boris!” I impatiently reminded him.

Oleg crouched down and began to make his way towards Boris, who, while still wounded, was firing at some of the cops that had just arrived. As he supported Boris on his way back to safety, I noticed a small number of cops escorting a sharply dressed man down the stairs amidst the chaos. This man must’ve been the informant, and naturally, I abandoned my position and followed him.

“Oleg, meet me back at our getaway car.” I told him, and ran before he could ask why.

I opened fire on the officers that were escorting the informant, but I missed the informant, who ducked just in time. He ran away as I recklessly attempted to shoot him again, and taking him out got much harder than it should’ve been. Some cops noticed me chasing him, and I missed death by a few inches as some bullets flew right passed my head. I was forced to take cover, giving the informant chance to escape. Fortunately, Oleg, Boris, and Pavel directed the police’s attention to themselves, giving me a chance to escape and run after the informant.

As I caught up, I noticed that he was making his way towards our Rebla. I couldn’t make it to the vehicle in time, so I continuously fired at the informant with my micro-SMG. I hit one of the car’s tires, and also the informant’s leg, causing him to fall to the ground. I began to fire again at him, emptying the last of my shots into him. As he lay there dead, I made my way towards the Rebla, and proceeded to pick up the others. The tire popped immediately, making it much harder to turn. I unintentionally hit one of the officers, presumably killing him, as I stopped near Oleg, who immediately got in the car.

“How’s Boris?” I asked him.

“There’s a good amount of blood coming from his chest,” He answered, and sure enough, I noticed Boris, now supported by Pavel, clutching his chest, “but in all honesty, he seems to be taking it perfectly well.”

Once we were all in the car, I began to drive away from the projects with a popped tire, intent on getting to the Pay n’ Spray. To make the situation worse, we had at least four cops trying to run us off the road.

“sh*t, when will they give up!” Oleg growled in outrage, beginning to fire his micro-SMG out of the window.

I turned in an attempt to lose the cops, but our popped tire made that much harder, and we hit a streetlight and a fire hydrant. Oleg managed to hit one of our pursuers, and his car swerved out of control hitting another. With two more cars chasing up, I used the handbrake to turn, intentionally causing one of the cops to crash, but the other one wasn’t fooled. He began to fire his pistol at us, forcing Oleg to cease firing in fear of being hit.

“Keep f*cking firing, you idiot!” Boris said sternly, still clutching his wound.

Before Oleg could begin shooting again, I began to fire my pistol out of my window, and the officer that was following us was caught by surprise. He lost control and crashed, leaving us free of any pursuers. Minutes later, we arrived at the Pay n’ Spray.

Oleg gradually spared one hundred dollars for the car, presumably from that Blackjack game at Petrovic‘s mansion. We later took Boris to his apartment in Algonquin, where he assured us that somebody would to see to his wound. After this, I called Eduard to inform him of our success.

“The informant is dead, and we well could‘ve been too.” I told him.

“Well of course, you didn’t expect it to be that easy?” He asked calmly.

I chuckled, “Of course not. How much will we be receiving?”

“Well, if it were just you, the pay would’ve been eight thousand.” He informed me. “So split between the four of you, you each get two thousand.”

“What, you didn’t tell me that.” I replied sternly.

“Well, be thankful, because if it had been otherwise, you’d probably be buried or jailed.” He said, obviously believing he had saved me from some horrible fate.

“Whatever you say,” I managed to ignore this, “two thousand will be fine.”

I ended the call, dropped Oleg and Pavel off at the Homebrew Café in Broker, and drove to my own apartment. I flipped on the television to see what they had to say about the whole incident on Weazel News, grabbed a beer from the fridge, and called it a day.

Irish Homie RU4-69
  • Irish Homie RU4-69

    Player Hater

  • Members
  • Joined: 07 Nov 2009

#1620

Posted 12 November 2009 - 02:39 AM

This looks pretty fun, so as I understand it, you write stories? I can dig that, but what's with the gang war thing? And who the hell are the Uptown Riders and the argument about them, I didn't find them anywhere on the list.




2 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 2 guests, 0 anonymous users