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BUYG: Build Up Your Gang IV

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.2D
  • .2D

    I Shed The Blood of Saxon Men

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#1471

Posted 23 October 2009 - 02:06 PM

Yeah, I've always prefered Third person icon14.gif

Benjimino234
  • Benjimino234

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#1472

Posted 24 October 2009 - 01:44 AM

Yeah, first-person is pretty hard if you don't know how to overcome the 'I' repetition. But Lochie sure helped me when I PM'ed him. Here a few examples.

QUOTE
'I walked up to the hotdog stand and asked for one with extra relish, I handed him a $50 dollar note and waited for my change. I walked back to the bench and sat down and ate my hotdog, I then got up and walked to the bus stop. As I waited for the bus I checked my phone and noticed that Johnny had texted me, I texted him back.'


That's the problem, there is a lot of 'I's. But then Lochie put up this to help me

QUOTE
'The delicious smell of hotdogs wafted up my nostrils as I walked down the street, moving my head around to try and notice the source of this mouth-watering smell I saw the hotdog stand down the street.

'One please, with extra relish.' I told him, while handing him a $50 dollar note in the process, we exchanged hands as he handed me my hotdog and then quickly threw my change at me.

Looking for some place to eat my hotdog, I walked down the street and saw a spare bench. After I finished my snack I stood up and walked across the road to the bus stop. My pocket started vibrating, I pulled out my phone and checked to see who had texted me; it was Johnny.

'meet me in 20 @ da house'

'OK' I replied quickly and waited for the bus to arrive.


That's much better than before.

I have to extend my paragraphs that's all.
e.g: I lent down to my gun, I then reloaded but suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my leg; I was shot.
As I was leaning down towards my gun and picking it up quick and reloading even quicker a sharp pain struck my leg; I've been shot and bleeding bad.

But yeah, you have to rethink your sentences. Hopefully this could help if anyone wants to give first-person a try again. smile.gif

aragond
  • aragond

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#1473

Posted 24 October 2009 - 03:32 AM Edited by aragond, 24 October 2009 - 07:45 AM.

QUOTE (Benjimino234 @ Oct 24 2009, 11:44)
Yeah, first-person is pretty hard if you don't know how to overcome the 'I' repetition. ... I have to extend my paragraphs that's all.
e.g: I lent down to my gun, I then reloaded but suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my leg; I was shot.
As I was leaning down towards my gun and picking it up quick and reloading even quicker a sharp pain struck my leg; I've been shot and bleeding bad.

But yeah, you have to rethink your sentences. Hopefully this could help if anyone wants to give first-person a try again. smile.gif

The thing about first-person, the REASON you use it* is because the substance of the story is what's going on in your protagonist's mind, not so much the action. It shouldn't be about describing what the protagonist was doing, more what they're thinking about, what they observe and what they think about that, rather than a straight commentary about some action.

*
An afterthought, having watched an ep' of Dexter, which is a classic example of something told in the first person, is that not ALL FP writing is like what I describe, so I guess I shouldn't be so dogmatic. But, I do still think that it's certainly easier to write well in third than first-person.

QUOTE
I've never been one for thinking twice about how badly a man needed a sock to the jaw. He deserves it; he gets it. But, Harry was different. Harry's the kinda guy that automatically rubs people the wrong f*ckin' way. He's the kinda guy people want to avoid. But he's also the kinda guy I take a gradual liking to. So, despite any urgent desire building in me to smack that goofy grin from his face, my fist did little more than clench.

"So, we gonna hit that hotdog stand, Murphy?" That goofy f*ckin' grin.

...is better than:

QUOTE
"So, we gonna hit that hotdog stand, Murphy?" Harry said to me.

I tensed, and my fist clenched, but I didn't hit him.

...and arguably better than:

QUOTE
"So, we gonna hit that hotdog stand, Murphy?" Harry said, a goofy grin crossing his face. Murphy's fist just clenched.

You've got a LOT of scope with first person writing, but it's a WHOLE different ball-game. It HAS to be all about you and what you think about what's going on, not a mere description of what you did in the context of action events.

I would never say "never" to another writer, but turning our action-orientated BUYG stories into proper first-person is a bloody tall order.


PS; Yes, on the names - I've just been watching old Dresden Files. Good show. Though, Dexter is awesomely well-written.

VinnieLeone
  • VinnieLeone

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#1474

Posted 24 October 2009 - 03:41 AM

hey sorry i haven been on so long... i just got me a new cpu, North Holland Hustlers playboy x apt please

Slingaa
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#1475

Posted 24 October 2009 - 07:37 AM

QUOTE (VinnieLeone @ Oct 24 2009, 03:41)
hey sorry i haven been on so long... i just got me a new cpu, North Holland Hustlers playboy x apt please

You can start writing, and the staff will add you when they are online.

VinnieLeone
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#1476

Posted 25 October 2009 - 04:27 AM

Chapter Summary


Andre Jones: Main Character from the south, mainly hails from Roswell, Ga and New Orleans, LA. Joined N.H.H in 2003, is a Hip Hop Artist that works under Forge Records (Dwayne’s Record Label) and is twenty-three years old.
stage name Prince Andre Or MC Knocc Out.

Marc Law: Half Black, Half Italian soldier from the East Holland Crew. Has connections to Latino drug dealers from Cuba and is Andre’s manager. He is twenty-one years old


Aljeandro Rodriguez: A Latino Drug Dealer and Rapper from Puerto Rico, raised in East Holland, a member of The Notorious rap group.
A rival rapper to Andre.


Lil Cents: A friend and fellow rapper with Andre who was murdered in the following chapter of the story. His death triggers a Gangster Rap war.

Guest Characters: Steve Hoswe (Layzie Bone), Andre Young(Dr. Dre) ,Eric Wright (Eazy-E), Sean Carter (Jay Z).



Chapter One: Prince’s Debut

On November 3rd 2003 in Middle Park a big concert was under way. The Artist who performed were Dr. Dre & Eazy E, Bone Thugs N’ Harmony, and a duo by Andre “ Knocc Out ” Jones and Jay-Z. Now we will tune in as the concert is ending. Knocc Out is returning to his car with fellow rapper Lil Cents.

“LC?” I asked.
“What’s up man?” He said.
“Let’s hit the bar, I don’t feel like going home.” I said.

“Hey man, this Rap sh*t ain’t really a money grabber ain’t it? He said.

“Well, what do you mean?” I asked, with a funny look on my face.
“You’re still driving a damn Virgo!” he said.
I stopped at a light, and looked at him. “Well I mean this sh*t takes a while, I mean I know Jay. But it’s not like he can make us famous, Cuz he ain’t that big yet neither so…”. Lil cent cut me off.

“Jay-Z ain’t that big? sh*ting me every since Hard Knock Life Jay has been the sh*t.” He said.

We pulled up to the bar, and started to talk and hang out with some people. Meanwhile in East Holland, which is across the way. Fat Al, a Puerto Rican rapper/dealer and his crew were planning a raid on a N.H.H studio.

Now back to Cents and I, We got in a fight with some Cubans or Mexicans at the bar and we were kicked out the bar.

“f*ck you, you cholo ass motherf*cker.” Cents yelled.
“Pussy ass niggas, you know who we are? North Holland.” I yelled drunkly.

“C’mon man let’s go.” Cents said.


We drove over to the Latté X Studio in North Holland, and all hell broke loose.

“Hey Cents bust one beat so I can write some new sh*t, down.” I said


“The beat dropped, and now Knocc Out will freestyle.” Cent said.

While I was writing, I was freestyling to the beat.
After two hours I replayed the track, I noticed that there’s faint gunshots in the background. I thought it was part of the beat.
When we got to the car I noticed that my wheels had been flatted and a man outside our car is laying there, still alive.

I pulled out my gun, “Who the f*ck are you bastard?” I asked.

With a light voice, the man said “My name is Marc, help me please!” He said fast.
“I was trying to jack you’re car when a bunch of Mexicans jumped me and shot me in my leg.” he said.

“Why should I help you?” I said.
“Why should I not kill you right now?” I said.
“Because I can help you with anything man, money, girls, cars, whatever man.” He said.
As I begin to cock my gun I heard more gunshots inside the studio.

“Get in the car hurry now!” Cents said.
I carried Marc into the car, and tried to start it, it wouldn’t work so we took a sentinel, that was parked right next to my car. As I was hot wiring the car, one of the shooters ran outside and yelled “That’s my car!” Then Two more popped out and started firing. 4 shots hit the windshield.
I backed out and headed for a hospital, when we reached the hospital I checked if we were followed. Nothing.

“Oh my god what happened?” A doctor asked,
“What the f*ck you mean? He has been shot.” Cents said. “Cent we got to go man.” I said. I ran outside when I bullet went right through my hat and I fell back. I man with a mask on started to shoot. I didn’t get hit but cents was shot about four times in the chest. The masked man drove away in a black patriot. I rushed into my car and drove accidently running over Cent’s leg. I speeded down the street. I stop in Star Junction, I started to cry as I realized I lost a good friend of mine. While I was crying a patriot pulled up to me and I heard gunfire. I pulled out my gun and fired into his car, killing one of my attackers. I hit the gas and started to drive off very fast until the other attack shot out my back tire. My car flipped, I can hear screeching and tearing sounds. When the car stopped, I got out bleeding from my mouth and arms. I saw the man pull up in his car, I tried to shoot him, but I was to dizzy. He shot my hand, then my right leg. When I fell he got out and shot me in my chest twice. Then He drove off, The thing I remember seeing was a hole in my hand.

will.
  • will.

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#1477

Posted 25 October 2009 - 05:50 PM

Hi there, just wanted to point out some gang vehicle mistakes;

-the Lost's unlockable vehicle Hellfury is actually an AoD vehicle. It should be replaced by the Diabolus.

-the AoD's unlockable vehicle Zombie is actually a Lost vehicle.It should be replaced by the Hellfury.

turn.gif

Slingaa
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#1478

Posted 25 October 2009 - 08:12 PM Edited by Slingaa, 26 October 2009 - 08:41 PM.

Gambetti Mansion, The Good Always Die Young.
20th March, 2010

TWENTY or so crates sat in the back of the truck. They were piled up high, touching the roof. Carl kicked a crate open hard and dozens of syringes spilled out.
“Heroin…” muttered Trigger, “HEROIN!” And it was. Hundreds, maybe thousands of syringes were in this truck! Trigger stood there, gob smacked. He couldn’t believe it.
“So, what do we do with it?” asked Alfie, who was walking in closer to inspect the cargo.
“What do you think?” replied Trigger, “we tell the boss, then sell it! D’you know how high the price is for heroin in Liberty City? Right here we have tones! We’re rich!” he exclaimed. Carl and Alfie exchanged looks of amazement.
“No. I’m rich,” boomed a voice behind them.

The voice behind them turned out to be a short, plump man with jet black hair wearing a scruffy suit and a blood red tie.
“Mr. Zito, with all due respect it’s all of our money. This pay cheque will put us all in early retirement!” cried Alfie. It was Roy Zito, the underboss of the Gambetti Family.
“No. I want all of that heroin. This family f*cked me around for too long. I thought for certain old Jon Gravelli was gonna’ make me Don. I gave him a kidney for Christ’s sake!” said Zito, who was now turning a pistol on the trio, “talky time is over now fellas.” He strutted off to the cabin and got in, laughing hysterically. Alfie roared with anger, drew his Micro SMG and fired at the truck. Zito stuck his arm out of the vehicle and shot at Carl. A speeding bullet impacted into his thigh; and Alfie let out a scream of pain. “f*ck!” yelled Alfie. He sprinted to a nearby car and smashed the window with his weapon. Shards of glass shattered everywhere, and then he jumped in the car and started the engine. Trigger ran into the car and got in. “Sorry Carl, your gonna’ have to sit this one out,” stated Trigger.

The chase had begun. Alfie had caught up with the truck easily and stayed to its right. Zito rammed the car as Trigger attempted to shoot it. He fired off a few bullets and stuck his arm back in. He saw Zito whip out a mobile phone and he put it to his ear. “He’s on the phone, stop him!” exclaimed Trigger, and Alfie nodded. The winding roads of Alderny were coming to an end; Trigger could see the bridge connecting Alderny and Algonquin. Then they would be in trouble. Trigger threw a barrage of bullets at the truck, a few hit one of the eighteen wheels. It skidded around all over the road and Zito threw down his phone to gain control. They were now on the bridge. The huge grey truck slid into an oncoming car; the car was totaled but it hardly made a scratch on the truck. Some heroin spilled out; each syringe was costing Trigger a lot. He shot another round at the truck, this time at the cabin. The truck swerved, he had apparently hit Zito. “Go, go!” cried Trigger, “f*cking ram him!” Alfie did so and the truck lost control, spinning sideways smashing into a load of cars. But fortunately for Zito, a few fancy cars appeared, each passenger brandishing a weapon. Trigger guessed this was Zito’s back-up.

Alfie and Trigger had now passed the bridge, and had moved on to the busy streets of Algonquin. They got behind the truck; Zito’s back up kept on their tail. Alfie rammed the truck again, but this time the hood of their car flew off into the air. One of Zito’s henchmen launched his hand out of the car to shoot at the duo. Suddenly, the hood came back down from flight and hit the man full on in the head. Blood splattered inside of the car, the victim’s head had exploded. A chunk of his brain got in the driver’s eye.
“Aaaah!” he screamed, “I can’t see!” And he couldn’t. The car he was controlling smashed into another back-up car at 100mph. Trigger assumed they were both f*cked. But one car remained, this one reluctant to give up. Trigger fired randomly at the car. Suddenly it exploded. He must of his the gas tank. A body flew infront of Alfie’s car, and he ran over it with a thud. The chase continued on the Broker Bridge.
“Take the wheel, I’m gonna jump into the cabin,” shouted Alfie, clambering over into Trigger’s seat.
“What?” asked Trigger, “you’re f*cking crazy!”
“Just do it, it’s our only chance!” He did so, and Alfie made a huge leap. He was successful. Alfie stood on the top of the truck’s cabin, ready to pounce.

With much effort, Alfie managed to climb inside of the cabin with Zito before they were in Broker. Zito sent a punch Alfie’s way, but he was ready. He grabbed his arm and rammed it against the steering wheel. The truck’s horn sounded. Alfie head butted Zito full on in the nose. He heard a bone snap, and Zito screamed in agony. His eyes watered heavily, he was unable to fully see. The truck collided with an innocent car, and Zito reached out for the Micro SMG on the dashboard. “No!” exclaimed Alfie, now strangling Zito. But it was not good enough. He fired randomly at his attacker’s direction, each bullet hitting Alfie. He looked Zito in the eye, before falling out of the cabin and hitting the tarmac. “ALFIE!” screamed Trigger. A stab of anger grew in Trigger’s body, he knew what had happened instantly. Trigger heard Zito laugh. His anger increased. Trigger growled, putting his foot right down on the accelerator. “Fat c*nt!” he exclaimed, as they were now in the Francis International Airport. A plane lowered its loading area and started to take off. Zito and Trigger were now at full speed. He unloaded several bullets at the truck, but it was too late. Before it was on the plane, he heard Zito laugh hysterically.

Trigger swore at the top of his lungs, and then looked to the ground. There he saw what was roughly an ounce of heroin, and picked it up. He drove slowly back to Broker to see if he could retrieve Alfie’s body, but had no such luck. Trigger went back to Alderny to the Gravelli Mansion and walked inside.
“Trigger!” exclaimed Sammy. Trigger collapsed on the couch, holding back a flood of tears.
“I-is Carl okay?” asked Trigger, getting to his feet.
“Yes, yes he’s fine,” replied Sammy holding out a glass of scotch, the ice tinkling against the glass, “what happened, where’s Alfie?”
“Alfie’s-“ Trigger’s voice cut off, he couldn’t say it. He cleared his throat and continued, “Alfie’s dead. I’m sorry, it was all my fault…”
“Oh, I see,” muttered Sammy, stroaking his goatee, “that is a shame. But what happened?”
“Well, Roy Zito, you’re underboss double-crossed us. The Pegorino’s shipment was a truckfull of heroin. He put a gun to us and drove off. We chased after us.” Trigger retold the previous events in great detail.
“- all I have left is an ounce of the heroin,” finished Trigger, showing it to Sammy and Carl.
“Well, we an still sell it,” replied Carl, “we can get around a grand for that.”
“Mhm, I suppose. But Trigger, you’ve proven yourself more than worthy to be my new underboss these past few days. And Carl you’re in need of promotion too. Get some rest you two, you’ve had quite a day,” said Sammy.

“To Alfie,” announced Carl, raising his long muscular arm while holding his glass of scotch.
“To Alfie,” chorused Trigger and Sammy, also raising their glasses in the toast. The trio drained their drinks in one and slammed them down on the marble coffee table. “The good always die young,” commented Trigger, his voice trembling,

I'm open to all feedback, honest.

tarnell
  • tarnell

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#1479

Posted 25 October 2009 - 08:19 PM

QUOTE (will. @ Oct 25 2009, 17:50)
Hi there, just wanted to point out some gang vehicle mistakes; -the Lost's unlockable vehicle Hellfury is actually an AoD vehicle. It should be replaced by the Diabolus. -the AoD's unlockable vehicle Zombie is actually a Lost vehicle.It should be replaced by the Hellfury. turn.gif

agreed, was gonna say that too icon14.gif

Colt M14
  • Colt M14

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#1480

Posted 25 October 2009 - 08:33 PM

QUOTE (will. @ Oct 26 2009, 04:50)
Hi there, just wanted to point out some gang vehicle mistakes;

-the Lost's unlockable vehicle Hellfury is actually an AoD vehicle. It should be replaced by the Diabolus.

-the AoD's unlockable vehicle Zombie is actually a Lost vehicle.It should be replaced by the Hellfury.

turn.gif

We currently don't have the Lost and Damned vehicles so we can't put the Diabolus in.

iam1
  • iam1

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#1481

Posted 25 October 2009 - 09:13 PM

I'd really apreciate it if someone would add me to chinatown arcade for the triads. I don't want to annoy everyone but I don't want to write another story until I'm sure I'm added. thanks.

.2D
  • .2D

    I Shed The Blood of Saxon Men

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#1482

Posted 25 October 2009 - 10:07 PM

If there room where you want to go, then you should be able to just start writing and one of the staff will sort it out when they can...I think anyways..Im gonna start writing another one soon. icon14.gif

will.
  • will.

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#1483

Posted 25 October 2009 - 10:17 PM

QUOTE (Colt M14 @ Oct 25 2009, 20:33)
QUOTE (will. @ Oct 26 2009, 04:50)
Hi there, just wanted to point out some gang vehicle mistakes;

-the Lost's unlockable vehicle Hellfury is actually an AoD vehicle. It should be replaced by the Diabolus.

-the AoD's unlockable vehicle Zombie is actually a Lost vehicle.It should be replaced by the Hellfury.
Oh, okay. Well apparently these are the TLAD-exclusive vehicles;

turn.gif

We currently don't have the Lost and Damned vehicles so we can't put the Diabolus in.



Bikes Angel | Bati 800 (Custom) | Daemon | Diabolus | Double T (Custom) | Hakuchou (Custom) | Hexer | Innovation | Lycan | Nightblade | Revenant | Wayfarer | Wolfsbane

Two-Door Hatchback Rhapsody

Pick-ups and Vans Gang Burrito | Regina | Slamvan

Commercial and Industrial Prison Bus | Tow Truck

I'm not being a nag or anything, but just saying, maybe they could be added sometime? icon14.gif

FunnyUsername
  • FunnyUsername

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#1484

Posted 25 October 2009 - 11:16 PM

I'd like to join the Gambetti Family at Al Dente's.

will.
  • will.

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#1485

Posted 26 October 2009 - 01:24 AM

QUOTE (FunnyUsername @ Oct 25 2009, 15:16)
I'd like to join the Gambetti Family at Al Dente's.

Then start writing, I noticed there have been a lot of people saying that you can just start writing..

Once I get EFLC, then I will start writing for The Lost (but only once I get EFLC because my adrenaline for writing about The Lost will be all pumped up biggrin.gif ).

Craig
  • Craig

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#1486

Posted 26 October 2009 - 02:03 PM

Just so it's clear, you don't need to post which gang and area you wish to write on behalf of. Tell us and then start writing straight away. That way there's no confusion when it comes to two people wanting to write for the same area. I don't think it's happened before, but you never know. Plus, it helps keep the gears in motion. If you're using it as a break before you've started writing anything, simply write a chapter and then post your interest. It should only take an hour tops for your first installment, and it'd be bad luck if it was taken in that space of time. Still, all practice.

Too long, didn't read? Post where you want to write for and just start.

Osric
  • Osric

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#1487

Posted 26 October 2009 - 11:01 PM

I was going to join the Triads, but with BOGT's release so soon, I'll reserve a spot for the Ancelotti Family instead. Put me there when you release it.

Big_Mitch_Baker
  • Big_Mitch_Baker

    =Ĺ= Angels of Death - Founder

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#1488

Posted 27 October 2009 - 06:01 AM Edited by Big_Mitch_Baker, 08 November 2009 - 07:52 PM.

Sick of biker stories yet?

Angels of Death

The Epic Chronicle of Johnny Malvado

Chapter 5: Bothering Boccino

PREVIOUS CHAPTER: This means War

It was another dark and cloudy day. The wind blew and caused the flame of Rocket Ronnys zippo to flicker, and the shadows it cast seemed to dance on the walls of the filthy alley he hunkered in. In his other hand he held a spoon, which he placed over the flame. The liquid in the spoon began to bubble as Ronny poured in cocaine a little bit at a time. He stirred it up, watching as the powder formed into little rocks of crack. His hands shook uncontrollably in anticipation awaiting the excess to boil off. A shadow of a large man stretched down the alleyway alerting Ronny to the incomer. It was Johnny Malvado, walking in a march-like stride that divulged his military past to those observant enough to take notice. Malvado walked like a man on a mission, focused and unrelenting, even for something as mundane as crossing the street or approaching a friend in an alley.

"Cookin' some rock I see" Malvado said as he approached.
"Yup" Rocket Ronny responded, continuing to stir his concoction
"You ready to go pay Ray a visit?" Malvado asked.
"Yeah man, just gimme a minute brother" Ronny said as he finished up. He then began folding a piece of tin foil from his cigarette pack into a make shift crack pipe. He packed it and got up, following Malvado out to the sidewalk. He smoked the crack walking down the street, blowing the rancid smoke into the faces of people passing by. He wasn't concerned with anyone calling the cops, they had better things to do then hassle an Angel of Death and get shot.
"Judy called me the other day" Ronny commented. Judy was his wife, but she left him two years back. She was a straight edge law abiding citizen, and had trouble ignoring her husbands misdeeds with the AoD. Once he got hooked on crack, she had enough and left him.
"You two gettin' back together?" Malvado asked in jest.
"I dunno man...looks good though, she says she misses me and sh*t...Been thinking of quitting this sh*t and cleaning up for her" Ronny responded as he threw the crack pipe to the ground.
"That's good, but don't get all soft on us now" Malvado said.
"No worries man, you know the club comes first. But sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like if I didn't get involved with all this..." Ronny rhetorically questioned.
"f*ck man, you and I lead lives that these Civilians can only dream of. Freedom man, true liberty...Guns, Drugs, Sluts and Motorcycles...Whatever we want is just there for the taking, and we got the balls to go ahead and take it." Malvado replied.
"Funny how things work, they all want what we have but I'd trade it all for what they take for granted every day." Ronny said.
"A regular everyday 9 to 5 life is a life wasted. That's pussy sh*t man. Everyone wants what they don't have, you gotta learn to appreciate what you got. You might wake up dead with nothin'" Malvado imparted some of his twisted wisdom.
"I already have nothing, the patch on my back is all I have left...I'm tired of busting heads and taking names, I just wanna relax on the couch with my wife and watch some football ya know?" Ronny asked. Malvado could relate, there was a time when his hopes and dreams were to own a house with a white picket fence, children playing in the yard with the family dog as he and Gwen sat on the porch hand in hand. But it was a pipe dream, and Malvado had come to the conclusion that everything good in the world was fake. Bringing misery to others, holding their lives in his leathery hands, that was real. Being loved was out of the question, being feared and respected was within reach. All it took was a cold heart and a strong will, something Malvado had in spades.

The two of them approached their bikes and got on, revving up the motors and disturbing the neighborhood. They rode over to Drusilla's in Little Italy and parked outside. They had gotten word that Ray Boccino may have had something to do with the fire at the AoD clubhouse and the stolen heroin. The Pegorinos typically stayed on their turf in Alderney, however Ray considered himself a big shot and liked to push his boundaries, and thus spent most of his time in the little Italy section of Algonquin (known as a hub for the Ancelotti and Gambetti crime families). Malvado pushed open the door with Rocket Ronny in tail and they approached Ray Boccino, who was sitting down to a pasta dinner. He had his back to the wall, as all the smart mobsters did. One of his overweight goons was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, waiting to defend his capo.

"Ray, we need to talk" Malvado said as he and Ronny surrounded the table. Malvado grabbed a piece of garlic bread from Rays plate and began eating it.
"Oh yeah, just go ahead and enjoy that" Ray said sarcastically but clearly annoyed. Malvado nodded as he chewed.
"Seriously, what the f*ck do you gorillas want?" Ray asked as he used his napkin to clean his lips.
"People have been talkin' Ray, sayin' you're the one who stole our sh*t" Malvado said.
"Hey, you're just gonna walk in here and insult me?" Ray asked, avoiding the question.
"If I wanted to insult you I'd call you a greasy good for nothin' dago" Malvado said
"Malvado, now you're just trying to hurt my feelings..." Ray remarked insincerely. Malvado knocked the plate of food off the table and stared down at Ray. Ray stood up and pushed his face inches from his antagonist. The goon at the wall stood upright and ready for trouble.
"You crossed the line asshole!" Ray yelled in Malvados face, no longer calm about the intrusion.
"Sit the f*ck down Sasquatch" Ronny told Ray, who was taller than him. He was however still smaller than Malvado, who's hand could easily palm Rays entire face. Though Ray was angry, he knew the Angels of Death were higher on the criminal ladder than him. The AoD was often hired as extra muscle for the Gambetti, Messina, and Pavano families, and they all considered the Pegorinos to be a joke. Ray complied and sat down.
"No need to get physical here boys, I didn't take anything, it was The Lost" Ray explained.
"So you're saying you had nothin' to do with that? They didn't take it to, say, pay the debt Billy Grey owes you?" Malvado suggested.
"Whadda ya take me for? We've done business before Malvado, I wouldn't stab you in the back" Ray said.
"Don't give me that bullsh*t. You'd pull the teeth from you're Grandmas head for a nickel Ray. Now this is what's gonna happen, you're gonna pay us back for the missing sh*t" Malvado told him. Ray objected, again affirming that he had nothing to do with the robbery. Malvado insisted that he pay.
"I didn't do it, that ain't fair" Ray pleaded. Rocket Ronny and Malvado looked at each other. Malvado raised an eyebrow and Ronny laughed.
"The only 'fair' I've ever seen is the fare I pay to ride the bus" Malvado said.
"I got other sh*t going on guys, how am I supposed to get that kind of money so quick?" Ray asked.
"F*ck if I know, and I sure as hell don't care...just f*ckin' get it done or your next dinner will be with Donald Love at the morgue" Malvado responded. The two bikers turned to leave the restaurant.
"Hold on, I gotta ask you boys something...What's with those patches on your back? Ya might as well just ride around with a sign that says 'Come Arrest Me'" Ray spouted as they reached the door. Malvado turned back and responded in his typically emotionless way,
"It's a machismo thing, I wouldn't expect a coward like yourself to understand...We ride, not hide". With that they left the building. Ray was pissed off and debated putting a hit out on them, however decided it was a bad idea. Ray was no stranger to making enemies and pushing around smaller groups, but the AoD were big time and he knew it. Killing any of them would cause repercussions that neither he nor the Pegorino family could handle. He had to make a lot of money very fast, and suddenly a solution occurred to him. Through his connections he knew about some unregistered diamonds entering the city, more than enough value to pay his new found debts...

Rocket Ronny chuckled as they stepped outside.
"Did you see the look on Rays face? Priceless man...By the way, you find out anything new about the Westdyke chapter?" Ronny asked. Malvado shook his head, still waiting for information from his Ex. They walked towards their motorcycles, but suddenly a box truck pulled up beside them. Several Asians jumped out and grabbed them, putting cloths soaked in chloroform over their faces. Malvado punched one square in the jaw, knocking him out. Another one jumped on his back like a little monkey, and tried to cover his face with the cloth. Malvado grabbed his wrists and pulled him over his shoulders and slammed him into the pavement. The little asian grimaced and attempted to catch the breath that was knocked out of him. The chloroform he had inhaled caused Malvado to become dizzy and disorientated. Two more asians, who had already successfully loaded Rocket Ronny into the truck, began beating Malvado with bats. They beat him to his knees, then finally knocked him unconscious with several blows to the head. The asians had trouble lifting him, but managed to toss him into the truck as well. They locked the back door, then jumped in and sped off. Their fate was now in the hands of the Jaoming Triads...

NEXT CHAPTER: The Trouble with Triads

Slingaa
  • Slingaa

    Unbowed, unbent, unbroken.

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#1489

Posted 27 October 2009 - 08:17 AM

Is it just my PC, or is Big Mitch Baker's story f*cked?

Benjimino234
  • Benjimino234

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#1490

Posted 27 October 2009 - 09:05 AM

There's weird accents and 'ť' coding icons...

aragond
  • aragond

    We are the Aragond. We will bury you.

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#1491

Posted 27 October 2009 - 10:05 AM Edited by aragond, 27 October 2009 - 10:09 AM.

QUOTE (Benjimino234 @ Oct 27 2009, 19:05)
There's weird accents and 'ť' coding icons...

I've also got " â " and and others.

It's a sign of having used something Microsoft, normally, (like MS Word or Outlook or MS Facepalm) either because it's using four-byte fonts for certain characters ... what the hell's it called? ah... ah... monodipthlopodicaius font... no, mind's a blank.

To overcome, Big Mitch could simply paste his story into Notepad, looking for the weirdnesses, before copypasta-ing from Notepad into here.

But, being a biker, he might prefer to just break our legs.

(And no, I'm not sick of them. Why, are you?)

Colt M14
  • Colt M14

    BUYGIV: Spanish Lords

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#1492

Posted 27 October 2009 - 11:01 AM Edited by Colt M14, 27 October 2009 - 11:19 AM.

BUYG Staff, do you mind if I just start writing for the Hillside Posse for now until someone adds a new location? Thanks in advance.


Edit: I researched and found out that Gorecauser wrote a story for AoD then signed for HSP at the homebrew and then he wrote a story about NHH.

.2D
  • .2D

    I Shed The Blood of Saxon Men

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#1493

Posted 27 October 2009 - 03:46 PM Edited by .2D, 27 October 2009 - 07:53 PM.

Another awesome story mitch, have a cookie, cookie.gif , please dont break our legs biggrin.gif .

Gonna start my next one in a bit. So ill have more than mitch devil.gif

I think when someone can be arsed, the TLaD vehicles should be added, would be aweshumm xD.
Epic ass part 4. wow.gif .


Angels Of Death.
Title: Consequences.
Part 4, Vans, Vans, Vans.


"Oh sh*t...." Vincent said, as he, Sonny and Billy turned a corner and saw the steinway beer gardens chucking flames out of the windows and parts of the building collapsing into piles of burning rubble. The van they were in screeched round the corner into the alleyway, just in time to see the rest of the club leaving the beer gardens and heading towards their vans.
"Jim! What the f*ck happened here!?" Vincent shouted, climbing out of the van and running over to Jim, followed by Sonny and Billy, all of them looking up at the building as a burning civillian threw himself out of the top floor window.
"Vincent..? Sonny!?" Jim replied, confused seeing Sonny climb out of the back of the van. "You said sonny was dead!"
"I thought he was! After you left he arrived at the clubhouse, we tried calling you but got nothing." Vincent said, moving out of the way of the bricks falling from the building. Before Jim could reply, sirens could be heard in the distance.
"f*ck it, tell me when we get back to the clubhouse." Vincent said, running over to one of the vans, Jim did the same.

It started to cloud over as the gang of vans parked up inside the garages and to the side of the clubhouse. Jim was the first to leave a van, briskly walking over to Vincents van. The rest of the gang either went inside the clubhouse for a drink or under the bridge towards one of the barrels that was used for arm wresting.
"You three, get inside, tell me what happened over a drink." Jim said, waving over to Vincent, Billy and Sonny to get into the clubhouse. As soon as Jim got inside, he walked over to the bar, tripping over a cannister on the floor and muttered "bastards" under his breath, before walking over to the fridge and grabbing a few beers. Lining the beers along the table. Jim began asking Vincent what happened.
"I can't f*cking believe you did that Jim, you had to blow up the whole damn building?" Vincent said, lighting a cigarette and a draw, before drinking his whole beer and waving over to one of the prospects to get him another.
"Hey, I thought they killed Sonny, what the f*ck was I supposed to do? So what we topped a few paddy's, what they gonna' do? Start a war? f*cking doubt it." Jim replied, also finishing his beer, then taking the bottle from the prospect. Vincent Held his arms up as if to say "What the f*ck?"
"So what? Jim, you f*cking destroyed the whole building and killed everyone inside, you dont think anyones going to say they saw 5 vans speed down that alleyway and a group of men jump out with automatic weapons?" Vincent said, waving his arms around at the flys in the clubhouse. "Assholes."
"Damn it Vince, calm down and have a drink.." Before Jim could finish his phone rang. "You joking..? sh*t, we'll be there." He said, hanging the phone up and finising his beer. "That was the beechwood chapter, some assholes have gone and started shooting at them in the street. One of their Road Captains got killed. Load up the vans, GO!"
Just as quickly as before, everybody in the clubhouse rushed outside and back into the vans. They screeched up the road and towards Bohan.

Big_Mitch_Baker
  • Big_Mitch_Baker

    =Ĺ= Angels of Death - Founder

  • Angels of Death MC
  • Joined: 23 Feb 2005
  • None

#1494

Posted 27 October 2009 - 08:31 PM Edited by Big_Mitch_Baker, 27 October 2009 - 08:53 PM.

Strange, my story was fine for hours after I posted it...
I blame GTAF itself mad.gif
I'll fix that sh*t and re-post it for ya'll icon14.gif (here's hoping it STAYS legible this time)

EDIT : Fixed it, you can go back and read it now if you'd like biggrin.gif
I'll probably write another one before the new DLC is released and distracts the sh*t outta me.

@.2D: Another cool story man...
"So what we topped a few paddy's, what they gonna' do?" Spoken like a true 'I-don't-give-a-flying-f*ck' biker cool.gif

@aragond: I'll never be sick of biker stories sly.gif
Just noticed a lot of the AoD are relatively active on here, thus a lot of biker stories...

And thanks for the advice icon14.gif , I've never had a story suddenly f*ck itself up before (and I've been using the same method every time) but I'll write all my sh*t straight on the forum from now on (just in case).

.2D
  • .2D

    I Shed The Blood of Saxon Men

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#1495

Posted 28 October 2009 - 12:27 AM Edited by .2D, 28 October 2009 - 12:40 AM.

Biker stories are awesome icon14.gif . Most or all of AoD on here are actually in the AoD ain't they? "It's a machismo thing, I wouldn't expect a coward like yourself to understand...We ride, not hide".
That is a f*cking awesome line cool.gif
Gonna try learn a thing from your storys, make mine bettah. orly.gif

iam1
  • iam1

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#1496

Posted 28 October 2009 - 07:37 AM Edited by iam1, 28 October 2009 - 07:39 AM.

And god said...


" Where is he?" I asked Aiden as I starred at my watch. " Chill the f*ck out man. He's only ten minutes late." Aiden's asian friend from jail was supossed to meet us on Diamond St. in Chinatown with a car and some money to help us get on our feet. I looked back at Aiden and saw him starring blindly into the sky. I knew exactly what he was thinking about. He was thinking about Suzie. Before we left Venturas he bought her a plane ticket to go stay with her grandma in Canada. Suzie was a beautiful looking girl. Long blonde hair, blue eyes and an ass to match. God only knows what she saw in my brother. If I had to describe my rother I'd say Sloth from the goonies. Just his face though. He's been kicked around so many times you can almost point out exactly where every bottle, poolstick and baseball bats been broken against it. I guess she thought he was a badass. I do know one thing though. The only thing appealing about my brother is his eyes. He had eyes as green as the Emerald Isle and, when he look at you it felt almost as if he was looking into your soul. I wasn't surprised the least when I found out he knocked her up. Even though Aiden didn't give a sh*t about her I know it was hurting him to kno he'd probably never get the chance to meet his own kid.

As for me, I was thinking about Layla. She was a real tough chick. The jealouse type too. Beautiful jet black hair that came just down to her shoulders. She had green eyes too, but they'd turn grey in the right lighting. When I left her we had just brken up for the seventh time. Hell, she probably thinks I'm dead. We'd never admit it but we were crazy about each other. I still remember all the nights I'd pick her up on my hellfury and she'd be all hotter than hell dressed in leather. Double-D's ready to burst out of her jacket. I couldn't help but wonder if I'd ever see her again.

A car horn broke the silence. It was the asian. He got out of the car and walked towards us. He had a nice suit on and black sunglasses. " Jesus Christ Li what took you so long?" Aiden asked. " Sorry. I forgot all about you. You look just like sh*t, ya ugly Mc."

" Haha. Best be shuting the f*ck up before I rip yer little dick off. Li this is my brother Gavin." I shook Li's hand as we walked up to the car. " Here. You drive." He said as he through the keys to Aiden. " Wow. Your giving us your used up, old sh*t-box of a feroci. Neat-o." I said to Li. I hoped in the back and we started driving. " So Li. What job did you get us huh? Better be good for all those times I literally saved your ass in the pen. Where we going anyway?"

" Your gonna' drop me off at my uncles. He's really the one giving you the job." After that it was pretty much quiet the whole way there. When we got to middle park east Li told us to pull up to a really nice looking apartment block. "this is the place." He slammed the car door and leaned into the window " Oh, and by the way. Your job's at my uncles arcade in Chinatown." Aidn proceeded to us every curse in the english language. Followed by " You slanty eyed mother f*cker! Your lucky I don't get out off this car and ram your head up your ass!"

" Why don't you think I got out so quick." He ran into the apartment and we started driving again "Where to now?" I asked Aiden. " SHUT THE f*ck UP! I'M TRYING TO DRIVE, DICK-NUTS!" When Aiden get's mad he get's f*cking pissed if you catch my drift. I'd be raging too though if someone pulled that sh*t with me.

A short while after I worked up the never to speak again " Why didn't you get out of the car and lay him out man?"

" Cause he's in tight with the triads."

" So... We're working for them now?" I asked in a confused tone. Aiden answered by saying " Well, I guess we're working for the manager of the Chinatown arcade."

" Do you think we're gonna' be able to stay on the right path this time around?"

" Nope." If you had asked me and Aiden where we would be now, two years ago we definetly would not of said age 24 and 30 working at an arcade in Liberty City. Neither of us were happy, but atleast we had a car and a legit job. That's what makes life amazing though. Not knowing whats next.

Tell me what you think guys. And can I get a knife for the triads please.

.2D
  • .2D

    I Shed The Blood of Saxon Men

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#1497

Posted 28 October 2009 - 05:49 PM

Gonna start writing up my next one later or tomorrow, then post it on page 76 to not clog up the topic wink.gif

Slingaa
  • Slingaa

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#1498

Posted 28 October 2009 - 06:59 PM

Gambetti Mansion, No Rest for the Wicked
23rd March, 2010

Trigger picked up his ringing phone and said:
“Alright, Sammy?”
“’Ey, Trigger. We’ve found a buyer for the heroin. He’ll be waiting for you in the abandoned house in Bohan at 12 o’clock. But first there’s someone I’d like you to meet; come down to the mansion,” replied Sammy.
“Okay, I’ll be over there in a second.” Trigger ended the call and went outside. The fresh, morning air crept into his nostrils and filled him with joy. Trigger got into his car and started it. The engine roared into life and he was away. Trigger was worried about the deal. Just three days ago, he got screwed over, and what if it happened again? But on the bright side it had seemed Sammy had filled Alfie’s position. Alfie. Trigger’s stomach jolted; he had just remembered Alfie’s tragic death. Zito had caused it. It was Zito’s fault. The thought of revenge raced through Trigger, but he knew he’d have to plan it carefully. Trigger was now at the Gravelli Mansion. He got out of his car and knocked at the door. A tallish, good-looking woman answered the door. She had long, shiny blonde hair and blue eyes that glistened in the sunshine. Her huge breasts wobbled as she opened the door. Trigger had died and went to heaven.

“Who are you?” he asked, his eyes trailing to her boobs.
“Oh, hi! You must be Trigger! I’m Amy, Sammy’s new recruit!” she giggled, saluting Trigger in a comical way. Her thick American voice had was already annoying Trigger and she had only said a sentence; but he let it pass. Trigger walked through and met with Sammy and Carl. “I’ll get you boys drinks,” Amy told them. She turned round, and her ass swayed as she walked into the kitchen.
“So you’ve met Amy,” said Carl.
“Oh yeah!” replied Trigger.
“So let’s get down to business. We’ve all met the sexy new girl. Well, she’ll be helping you locate Zito; and from what we’ve learned so far, he’s with the Pegornios,” Sammy told them, “but for now let’s do this deal. The money will help us get back on our feet. Trigger you go out. Its quarter pas eleven, better get a move on.”
“Right, boss.” Trigger got up, exchanged a wink with Amy and climbed into his car.

Trigger arrived at the deal on time. He saw a blue sports car outside of the abandoned house. Bohan was a rough neighborhood. There was a sh*tty old car upturned and stripped, litter dropped everywhere and a few tramps were crowding round a burning bin outside of the house. Trigger raised his pistol and boomed: “shoo!” and they scattered. Suddenly it started to rain and Bohan was wrapped in an eerie black sky. Trigger ran inside the house. Cobwebs engulfed every corner of the house, the wood was broken and maggot-filled. He crept upstairs to find a man pacing up and down. He pulled a glock on Trigger.
“Hey, hey I ain’t a cop. I’m ‘ere to sell you the stuff,” said Trigger, dropping the heroin on the floor, “put the gun away mate.” He did so. The man in question had fuzzy brown hair and a long beard. He was wearing a Hawaiian shirt and tight blue jeans. He picked up the heroin and weighed it.
“Let’s get this over with. One ounce, that’s $1550. Quick, count it!” he exclaimed. Trigger did so. The man looked rather edgy, but you couldn’t blame him.
“That’s fine,” replied Trigger after he had finished counting it, “nice doin’ business with ya’. Let’s-“ but he was interrupted by a barrage of machine gun fire through the wall.

The bullets ripped through the plywood and missed the pair by inches. “f*ck!” they yelled in unison, as they both ran for the exit. To Trigger’s surprise, he found that the attacker was in fact, a helicopter.
“Shoot it down!” screamed Trigger to the druggy.
“f*ck that!” he replied, running for his life.
“f*cking pussy!” Trigger exclaimed, whipping out his combat pistol. He took a few shots at the chopper, but it was no use. It sent another crowd of bullets towards Trigger, but he ran for cover. He took out his mobile phone and called Sammy.
“Pick up, pick up…”
“’Ey Trigger, how’d the deal go?” asked Sammy.
“I need some backup, NOW!” screamed Trigger, moving off a couple of stray bullets.
“Wha-“
“Can’t talk, I’m at the abandoned house.” And with that, Trigger ended the call. He aimed for one of the shooters on the side of the chopper, and took a shot. He yelled, clutched his leg and then fell out of the chopper. Trigger glanced at the body. The back of his jacked read: ‘FIB’.

Minutes later, a car sped down the road and stopped by Trigger. The woman inside of the car got out and slid into cover with Trigger. It was Amy.
“Take this,” she said, handing Trigger an Assault Rifle. She loaded up a grenade launcher and shouted: “FIRE!” Amy aimed at the chopper and fired off a grenade. It missed the helicopter by miles and hit a parked car. The car exploded instantly, sending flames in every direction. Trigger leaned out of his cover and took aim at the propellers. He pulled the trigger, and one of the propellers broke off. The pilot lost control and attempted to steady the vehicle. “Nice shot!” exclaimed Amy, firing off another grenade. She missed. Trigger took another shot, this time at the pilot. His head popped like a balloon, and blood sprayed all over the windshield glass. His corpse leaned half way out of the chopper, headless.

It spun out of control, and Amy fired at the chopper again. This time it hit. The tail exploded, and it fell straight down into the abandoned house. There was a catastrophic explosion; Trigger and Amy had to sprint away to avoid some nasty injuries. Flaming wood was sent everywhere. “Cool,” muttered Amy, getting back in the car. Trigger chuckled, and got in the car too. $1550. Sammy would be pleased. Imagine the stuff he could get for the family with that… Just as they were driving away, a man rose up from the wreckage, unscathed.
“See you soon Jack. Real soon,” he uttered, just loud enough so Trigger could hear him. Trigger missed a heartbeat.

Just to clarify, this is my fifth story.
Please add the money earned from the drugs, $1550.

Big_Mitch_Baker
  • Big_Mitch_Baker

    =Ĺ= Angels of Death - Founder

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#1499

Posted 29 October 2009 - 12:04 AM Edited by Big_Mitch_Baker, 08 November 2009 - 07:54 PM.

Angels of Death

The Epic Chronicle of Johnny Malvado

Chapter 6: The Trouble with Triads

PREVIOUS CHAPTER: Bothering Boccino

Malvado awoke in the back of a Triad fish truck, the interior wreaked of seafood despite it’s emptiness. It was pitch black inside, save for a sliver of light beaming in from a gap at the bottom of the loading door. He attempted to stand, but found that his hands and feet were bound with wire that dug into his wrists and ankles. The ride was unusually bumpy, even for the back of a truck. Malvado called out for Ronny, but he was still unconscious and unable to respond. He could feel the truck slow to a stop, and he heard the front doors open and close. The back door rolled upward pouring blinding light inside, and Malvado squinted his eyes. Four asians hopped inside and grabbed the two bikers with some difficulty. Malvado was still too dazed to struggle, but his weight was hard to handle.

The Triads carried the two down a staircase, through a small room and into a utility closet. They duct taped Ronny and Malvado to some chairs, and then left. Malvado watched them pass through the small room, in which there were two bigger asians in suits playing Dou Di Zhu at a round table. They nodded at the smaller triads as they left. Malvado thought it odd they left the utility closet door open, so he used the opportunity to examine his surroundings. The small room was filled with smoke from the Triads who were puffing on illegal Cuban cigars. There was no natural light, nor any indication of proper ventilation. The two triads at the table had uzis tucked into their suit pants, but seemed to be focused on their card game.

"Rocket, you ok brother?" Malvado asked quietly.
"I feel like somebody kicked me in the brain..." Rocket Ronny slowly responded, still struggling to return to consciousness.
"You no talk!" one of the Triads shouted towards them, then returned to gawking at his hand.
"Yeah? What're you gonna do about it?" Ronny taunted. The Triad took a big haul off his cigar, causing the embers to glow red hot, then he threw it into Ronnys lap. "Mother f*cker!" Ronny exclaimed. Tied to a chair, he was unable to pick it up, and instead began shaking and 'hopping' in the chair trying to launch it off, which it eventually did before burning Ronnys favorite appendage. The Triads chuckled.
"Man, you cocksuckers f*cked up my jeans!" Ronny said while examining the burn marks on his crotch.
"Mother f*ckers, they gone-done burned my jeans" Ronny said to Malvado.
"Better than your balls man" Malvado responded. Ronny smiled.
"So, you got a plan to get us outta here?" he asked.
"I'm workin' on it" Malvado replied.

Footsteps coming down the stairs caught the bikers attention. They watched as 3 more Triads came in walking in a triangle formation, and as they did the two at the table put their cards down and stood at attention. The man to the left was Chan Jaoming, underboss of the Jaoming family. He was there simply as a matter of tradition, and actually didn't really comprehend what was going on. To the right was an old oriental man with a long gray fu-man-chu mustache and thin scraggly goatee that came to a perfect point. He wore thick round glasses, and his head was bald and shiny with liver spots. And in the middle was Yao Ing Tong, an up-and-coming young Triad trying to make a name for himself. He sported spikey Anime style hair, greased up with all sorts of hair care products. His shirt was shiny silk, and had various tacky dragon patterns sewn throughout. He wore $500 sun glasses, even in a dark basement room. Several gold chain necklaces clinked and clanked together as he walked. He was clearly all flash and no substance. He even carried a samurai sword in a sheath on his back, which Malvado found all the more stereotypical. Even for a stereotype, he was a bit much, like he was trying to be some kind of super asian. The three newcomers walked into the utility closet and stood over Rocket Ronny and Malvado. They spoke to each other in Mandarin for a minute, then Yao Tong turned to Ronny.

"You...you one took oura mewrchandisea?" He asked.
"f*ck you" Ronny responded, and spit on Yaos shirt. Yao spit back on Ronny, then pulled out a combat pistol and shot Ronny in the chest. Ronny gasped, then slunked over dead. Malvado began struggling and 'hopping' in his chair.
"You f*ckin' asshole! f*ck You! I'm gonna tear your..." he yelled, however was interrupted by a pistol whip to the side of his head. He saw stars momentarily, which he tried to shake off. The old oriental man tied a gag over Malvados mouth, as he continued to shout obscenities at them which only came through as mumbles.
"You ansa question, ora else you be like fwend dere" Yao said as he pointed to Rocket Ronnys lifeless body. He removed Malvados gag, and he immediately spit on Yaos shirt. Yao put the gag back in.
"I had enough ofa diwrty bikea gweilo" Yao Tong said, and with that he and Chan Jaoming left. Malvado watched the two go up the stairs outside before the old oriental man closed the utility closet door. The old man pulled a high stool close to him, then placed a black velvet cloth on top. He unwrapped the cloth to reveal a set of stainless steel instruments of torture. The edges glistened like they were new, however the blood caked into the various grooves and notches hinted at their long time use. The old man stood there for a moment stroking his pointy beard.

"You will tell me evewryting you know" The old man boasted as he held a sharp tool up to the dangling ceiling lightbulb and examined it. Malvado, still enraged, began using his body weight and pushing up against the back of the chair. It happened to be a wooden chair, which was a major oversight by the Triads. He let the pressure off, then pushed again, repeating while the old man looked for the perfect tool to start with. The old man gloated about how much pain he was going to inflict, while Malvado continued to lean back pushing the supports of the chair apart. Suddenly there was a loud crack, and Malvado felt the chair coming apart. The old oriental man turned in time to see Malvado use his strength to force himself into a standing position. The duct tape ripped and the wooden chair fell to pieces around him as he stood, glaring down at the tiny oriental. The old man tried to call out for help, but fear paralyzed him. He watched helplessly with his jaw wide open as Malvado bore down on him and administered a massive head butt. It knocked the old man out instantly.

His hands and feet were still bound with wire, so Malvado hopped over to the various sharp objects the old man brought. He found a scalpel, which he carefully held between two fingers and used to sawed away at the wire on his wrists. They broke and he quickly did the same for his feet and the gag in his mouth. He checked Ronnys pulse, but there was none. Malvado took a moment to mourn his friend, then began looking around the utility closet. He wanted to get out, alert the Angels and find Yao, but the two Triad goons were still in the small adjacent room and still very much armed. Malvado riffled through the shelves in the utility closet until he found a rag, a jug of Ammonia and another jug of Bleach. He held the rag over his nose and mouth, and then began to pour the jugs out under the gap in the door. If mixed correctly, the concoction would produce Chlorine Gas. However if mixed incorrectly it would create Nitrogen Trichloride and Hydrazine, which would undoubtedly explode trapping Malvado in a fatal inferno. Undaunted, Malvado kept pouring the liquids, trying to hold his breath. When the jugs were empty, he moved to the back of the closet and continued breathing through the rag. The two Triad thugs were too busy with their card game to notice the liquids creeping out from the utility closet. By the time they noticed they were getting dizzy, it was too late. The poorly ventilated room was filled with toxic gas which tore apart their lungs. When Malvado heard their bodies "thump" onto the floor, he booted down the closet door and ran for the exit. He smashed through the locked doors with a mighty shoulder check, then fell on the stairs. He gasped for air, having held his breath for an extended period of time. He crawled up the stairs and onto the sidewalk. He was somewhere in Chinatown, but didn't recognize the location. He got up and dusted himself off, looking around for any sign of the Jaoming Triads. He hailed a cab that was driving by, and got inside.
"Where to buddy?" the cabbie asked.
"Videogeddon Arcade, and step on it" Malvado responded.

NEXT CHAPTER: Kung-Fool Fighting

tarnell
  • tarnell

    Li'l G Loc

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  • Joined: 22 Jul 2009

#1500

Posted 29 October 2009 - 12:27 AM

men i wish I could read it all now mitch. too bad g2g off now confused.gif

Ill start writing again soon smile.gif




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