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BUYG: Build Up Your Gang IV

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nirmalr
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#1231

Posted 27 July 2009 - 03:48 AM

Thanks for the review godfather style.. like lol..

Rucke
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#1232

Posted 27 July 2009 - 11:08 AM

QUOTE (aragond @ Jul 26 2009, 19:29)
MUCH Bigger matter: have you returned to the Pegorinos and not yet announced it?  happy.gif

Yeah that's correct. Writing for the Pegorino Family at Drusilla's was really my thing. So expect Albert Drusilla, Dog Corella, Benny Marcone and all the other characters to be back this week in a fresh new story.

And about your money, I took care about it.

vinnygorgeous
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#1233

Posted 27 July 2009 - 11:42 AM Edited by vinnygorgeous, 27 July 2009 - 02:31 PM.

edit: scratch what I first said I got it wrong, on another issue, Aragond is correct about the bracketed numbers, I know on the one review I did for Rucke I forgot to update the bracketed numbers and I also know that my bracketed count is wrong. If no one else has sorted it, I'll do it later I am a bit busy with work just now.

WelcomeToLibertyCity
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#1234

Posted 27 July 2009 - 12:05 PM Edited by WelcomeToLibertyCity, 27 July 2009 - 11:52 PM.

Finally, here is the story that officially confirms my 'return' to BUYG IV.


Hillside Posse
Chapter 1 GANJA


I sat in a steel, blue velvet coated chair at a small oak table close to the back of the deserted Homebrew Café leaning over the nearly full ash tray as a cigarette was gripped nonchalantly between my dry lips. I was waiting for Little Jacob. This afternoon he had sent me a message to meet him at the café and he said it was vital if I wished to become a full affiliate of the Hillside posse. I was caught in trance of deep thought as clouds of tobacco smoke danced around my face, wondering what I’d have to do for Jacob tonight.

Just as I butted out the smoke, Jacob stepped into the café, armed with two new and polished pump shotguns.

“Jacob, wha gwaan my bredda?” I announced ushering him over to a seat placed in front of my table.

“Dante, you willing ta get your hands dirty?” asked Little Jacob as he relaxed in the chair.

I laughed as Jacob passed me a shot gun, “It doesn’t look like mi have much of a choice.”

Jacob chuckled and replied, “Unless you can tink of another way of gettin’ in wit the posse, den ya got nuh choice.”

“True dat,” I spoke, “So wha you got planned fa us?”

“We going ta ambush a deal going down ova in da Firefly Projects,” began Jacob as he flicked a tarnished silver lighter, turning the tip of his joint into a tiny blaze, “Seems dem badbwoys working for the M.O.B. tink dey can sell da Spanish Lords drugs fa cheaper den us.”

“We gonna take down dem yey pushers to prove wha?” I asked, trying to fan the marijuana haze away from my face with my hand. I didn’t have anything against drugs, but I like to see myself as a clean thinker. My mind doesn’t function properly when I’m high on the job.

“Ta prove dat we aren’t gonna stand by an’ watch some rassclots take our business.” replied Jacob.

“Sounds good star, wha we driving down deh?” I said, standing up from the table with Jacob and approaching the door.

“Mi got a voodoo cyar parked ‘round back.” responded Jacob. We strolled around back of the café. Steaming pipes spitting out vapors caressed the bottoms of buildings as we made our way through the pitch black alley. As we reached the back, a Rasta colored voodoo surrounded by gold trim was nestled between two dumpsters.

“Rasta, you betta’ drive, dis ganja don’t mix to well with driving, seen?”

I snickered to myself and replied, “Dat be true.”

------------------------------------------------------------------

Shortly after, we arrived at an alley just off of Tutelo Avenue in Broker by the car wash.
I reached over to my left side, and gently flicked the voodoo’s lights off.

“Be quite, don’t want to be seen.” mumbled Jacob as I crept the car closer to the deal. I peered in front of me, where three men stood facing another group of three men. I could easily decipher which people were part of which gang.

To my right, the group of men were wearing yellow and orange bandanas with baggy shirts. In their hand was a clump of bills, meaning they were the Spanish Lord receiving the drugs. On my left, the gang of men were wearing large, puffy black hoodies. They were the M.O.B. and held a brief case containing the drugs.

I looked at Jacob, and he gazed back at me. We both nodded, and I knew it was our time to pounce. I swiftly turned the lights on high beam, distracting the gangs from their deal. They were offset and confused at what was going on, which was their mistake.

Jacob and I leaned out the voodoo’s windows, and cocked the shotguns. Before the men could even begin to draw their weapons, we opened fire. Jacob viciously bucked shots at the Spanish Lords, as I focused on each target of the M.O.B. and made sure I was fast on the reload. Within seconds, a bloody mess laid in front of us. Torn up corpses of the dealers covered the parking lot soaking in dark crimson blood.

Jacob and I exited the car, and paced over to the briefcase and the money. “Money back guarantee, nice!” laughed Jacob as he punted a Spanish Lord and picked up the cash. “So, Dante, you did good back der. It’s my honor ta welcome you ta da Hillside Posse fren’.”

“Tanks Jacob, it is my pleasure.” I said, shaking his hand.

“But der’s one last ting mi need you ta do fa me,”

“Wha?”

“Could you gimme a drive back ta the café?”

I chuckled and replied, “Sight Jacob, leggo.”


I would like to here feedback from other users. I was abit worried about how well i pulled of the "Rasta" slang. Hopefully I did well.

Colt M14
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#1235

Posted 28 July 2009 - 06:12 AM

Was the forums down for anyone else? Meh.

user posted image
Last chapter: Endgame.

The buzzing of the light echoed through the warehouse. I sat, half conscious, while 4 people stood over me. I weakly looked up. Johnny, Mikey, Stacks and Joey stood, their heads bowed. Johnny knelt down with a pistol in his hand. A tear formed in his eye as he aimed the loaded pistol to my face. "This didn't need to happen," He mumbled. He squeezed the trigger slowly...

One day earlier...

Just another day in the bar. I sat on a stood and asked for a whiskey. I watched as people hurried in and out of the front door. The Lost had been attacked dozens more times by rival gangs. The Lost brotherhood were to be disbanded. The Alderney chapter, gone. Johnny slid into the seat next to me. "Come on man, we need to pack." He said to me, clearly through the rushing sounds of people and revving of bikes. I looked over at Johnny, who was now taking a sip of a drink.

"Yeah, yeah I get it." I said, clapping him on the back. I stood and took my jacket. I walked out the front door and sat on my vacant bike. The suspension was rusted and many pieces were broken off. I lay my jacket over the handlebars and ripped the patch off. I threw it in the gutter and slid my jacket on. I revved my engine and started off.

I drive for what seemed like hours, wondering where to go. I stopped at a Cluckin' Bell and stopped the bike. I got off and pushed though the front door. Walking up to the counter I heard sirens and megaphones. I looked back through the glass door to see FIB agents analyzing my bike. I jogged back out to where the multiple cars were. "Don't touch my f*ckin' bike!" I yelled over the sirens.

The agents looked over quickly and aimed their m4's. "Put your goddam hands in the air!" The megaphones blared. "Give up, and we will not use force!" I grinned as a unholstered my pistol and shot the two FIB agents. Shots flicked off the walls as I jumped on my bike and started off. The revving, muffling the sound of the sirens, I flew down the street. An agent leant out his window, holding a m4. He took aim and blew out my back tire. I swerved around, the sun blocking my view.

I yelled out as my bike flipped, throwing me off it. I landed face first into the gravel road. An itching feeling surging through my body. I rolled over as guns were jammed in my face. "Take him in," A random police officer ordered. The officers nodded and took my arms...

Later that day...

"Tell us their f*ckin' names, or I swear, I WILL shoot you." Screamed the police sergeant. He jammed his police issue gun into my face. I shook my head. "I'll f*ckin' shoot you!" He screamed again.

The door of the plain white room slammed open. The Chief of police walked in. "Lay off him, Sergeant!" He yelled before pushing him out of the way. "Son, do you have any idea how much trouble you're in?" He whispered into my ear. "I can present you with an offer you cannot resist." he added. My bloody, scarred face gleamed in the light. "Witness protection." He said before opening the door and leaving...

5 minutes before current time...

I had given up. I gave the names of all the Lost Brotherhood, everyone I had ever met. I had snitched. The police cruiser bumped down a rocky road of Bohan. Screaming and yelling of the Gang vs Police wars in the distance could be heard. Tears formed in my scarred eyes. My face had dozens of stitches along the cuts. "We're nearly there." Mumbled the chubby driver.

I nodded slowly. The cruiser slowed down. I looked over the officers shoulder and saw a large road block. "Damn gangs. We need to take them out once and for all, I say." Johnny and a few other bikes stepped out from behind the barricade, all holding shotguns. An explosion rung out in the air, the cruiser flipped over. The officer crawled out, only to be shot down. I made no attempt to move from my seat in the crushed car.

Johnny reached in and pulled me out. Every bit of my body tingled from the scars and burns...

Current time...

The gunshot echoed though the street. Johnny slid his hand over the glassy eyes of the dead body. He stood, walked over to his bike, and hopped on it. Revving their engines, the Lost Brotherhood drove over the bridge and through the burning toll booth. The war was ended. Yet it had only just begun.

Finish.

I'd like to be moved to the Spanish Lords at Bohan projects please.

WelcomeToLibertyCity
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#1236

Posted 28 July 2009 - 01:08 PM

Yeah Colt they were down for a little bit, not very long I think. I just wrote my first story while they were down and by the time I was done they were back up tounge2.gif

tarnell
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#1237

Posted 28 July 2009 - 01:16 PM Edited by tarnell, 28 July 2009 - 01:45 PM.

hey guys i want to be spanish lords in south bohan projects (is that south bohan?)
EDIT: f*ck, well since colt M4 asked for it first, ill go for the sprunk factory then.

Build Up Your Gang
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#1238

Posted 28 July 2009 - 02:23 PM

Stefan. you've been added to the North Holland Hustlers at Playboy X's Loft.

tarnell I've added you to the Spanish Lords at the Sprunk Warehouse

Looking forward to reading the stories by you two.

Colt M14

$41 – A good story which seemed like a fitting end to your time with the Lost Brotherhood, however I think things moved a little quickly at times.

Moved to Spanish Lords @ South Bohan Projects

WelcomeToLibertyCity

$47 – The descriptions were great as always, such as “flicked a tarnished silver lighter, turning the tip of his joint into a tiny blaze” & “Steaming pipes spitting out vapors caressed the bottoms of buildings as we made our way through the pitch black alley.”, and the dialogue was good, flowing well. I think you nailed the Rasta Slang pretty well, and it was a nice touch.

- Tyla.

tarnell
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#1239

Posted 28 July 2009 - 02:33 PM

QUOTE (Build Up Your Gang @ Jul 28 2009, 14:23)
Stefan. you've been added to the North Holland Hustlers at Playboy X's Loft.

tarnell I've added you to the Spanish Lords at the Sprunk Warehouse

Looking forward to reading the stories by you two.

Colt M14

$41 – A good story which seemed like a fitting end to your time with the Lost Brotherhood, however I think things moved a little quickly at times.

Moved to Spanish Lords @ South Bohan Projects

WelcomeToLibertyCity

$47 – The descriptions were great as always, such as “flicked a tarnished silver lighter, turning the tip of his joint into a tiny blaze” & “Steaming pipes spitting out vapors caressed the bottoms of buildings as we made our way through the pitch black alley.”, and the dialogue was good, flowing well. I think you nailed the Rasta Slang pretty well, and it was a nice touch.

- Tyla.

thanks, also i canr seem to find the sprunk factoey on the map, can you tell me more specific where it is? it will help a lot on my stories, thanks

Tyla
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#1240

Posted 28 July 2009 - 02:37 PM

QUOTE (tarnell @ Jul 28 2009, 15:33)
QUOTE (Build Up Your Gang @ Jul 28 2009, 14:23)
Stefan. you've been added to the North Holland Hustlers at Playboy X's Loft.

tarnell I've added you to the Spanish Lords at the Sprunk Warehouse

Looking forward to reading the stories by you two.

Colt M14

$41 – A good story which seemed like a fitting end to your time with the Lost Brotherhood, however I think things moved a little quickly at times.

Moved to Spanish Lords @ South Bohan Projects

WelcomeToLibertyCity

$47 – The descriptions were great as always, such as “flicked a tarnished silver lighter, turning the tip of his joint into a tiny blaze” & “Steaming pipes spitting out vapors caressed the bottoms of buildings as we made our way through the pitch black alley.”, and the dialogue was good, flowing well. I think you nailed the Rasta Slang pretty well, and it was a nice touch.

- Tyla.

thanks, also i canr seem to find the sprunk factoey on the map, can you tell me more specific where it is? it will help a lot on my stories, thanks

http://snapmap.wikig...le=&set=520,132

I think that's the place right there. It was in one of Manny's missions.

Build Up Your Gang
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#1241

Posted 28 July 2009 - 02:47 PM Edited by Build Up Your Gang, 28 July 2009 - 06:35 PM.

I don't know how someone else logged in and rated when I've been logged in all f*cking day, so I am posting mine anyway other wise I've wasted four hours for nothing.

Welcome to Liberty City
Hillside Posse, Homebrew Café: chapter one

I’m not an expert on Rasta slang so I can’t really comment on its authenticity but I’m not sure if Jacob’s accent was as strong as it read in your story; that’s just an opinion not a criticism. The declining to smoke weed was very GTA, although I am not sure if a new recruit would feel brave enough to resist peer pressure but again that’s just an opinion. All in all it was a strong first chapter and worth the wait, I usually don’t like coloured text but yellow wasn’t too bad.
$43


Colt M14
The Lost MC, Clubhouse: chapter sixteen

You should spell out numbers rather than using the number keys and read through carefully to check you’ve used the right words. There were occasions when the meaning was hard to follow but this was only in a couple of places; overall the quality was good, I especially liked that you included a message, - don’t rat on your friends. The timeline you used could have easily backfired but I think it worked, the only thing I would have changed would have been to replay the initial scene at the end but with the added narration, “Here we are again…” but that’s just an opinion not a criticism.
$40

I’ve sorted out all the bracketed number counts, but if anyone thinks I made a mistake just PM this account and someone will re-count and alter if necessary,- a quick note for the staff, if we could all remember to maintain the total bracketed counts, it will save time in the long run.

Rated by Vinny

tarnell
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#1242

Posted 28 July 2009 - 02:47 PM

QUOTE (Tyla @ Jul 28 2009, 14:37)
QUOTE (tarnell @ Jul 28 2009, 15:33)
QUOTE (Build Up Your Gang @ Jul 28 2009, 14:23)
Stefan. you've been added to the North Holland Hustlers at Playboy X's Loft.

tarnell I've added you to the Spanish Lords at the Sprunk Warehouse

Looking forward to reading the stories by you two.

Colt M14

$41 – A good story which seemed like a fitting end to your time with the Lost Brotherhood, however I think things moved a little quickly at times.

Moved to Spanish Lords @ South Bohan Projects

WelcomeToLibertyCity

$47 – The descriptions were great as always, such as “flicked a tarnished silver lighter, turning the tip of his joint into a tiny blaze” & “Steaming pipes spitting out vapors caressed the bottoms of buildings as we made our way through the pitch black alley.”, and the dialogue was good, flowing well. I think you nailed the Rasta Slang pretty well, and it was a nice touch.

- Tyla.

thanks, also i canr seem to find the sprunk factoey on the map, can you tell me more specific where it is? it will help a lot on my stories, thanks

http://snapmap.wikig...le=&set=520,132

I think that's the place right there. It was in one of Manny's missions.

thanks biggrin.gif

tarnell
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#1243

Posted 28 July 2009 - 02:52 PM

ok now i should just start making stories right? so if i want to buy a weapon, will this weapon be available for the rest of my gang?

vinnygorgeous
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#1244

Posted 28 July 2009 - 02:57 PM

seriously f*ck the system it favours the quickest, bracketed numbers counts, Colt should be (29), WTLC should be (7),

WelcomeToLibertyCity
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#1245

Posted 28 July 2009 - 03:09 PM Edited by WelcomeToLibertyCity, 28 July 2009 - 03:14 PM.

Tarnell , if you buy a weapon for your gang, eveyrone that's aprt of your gang can use it.

tarnell
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#1246

Posted 28 July 2009 - 06:14 PM

QUOTE (WelcomeToLibertyCity @ Jul 28 2009, 15:09)
Tarnell , if you buy a weapon for your gang, eveyrone that's aprt of your gang can use it.

ok cool thanks

aragond
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#1247

Posted 28 July 2009 - 06:28 PM

QUOTE (WelcomeToLibertyCity @ Jul 29 2009, 01:09)
Tarnell , if you buy a weapon for your gang, eveyrone that's aprt of your gang can use it.

Am I correct in my belief that you cannot, however, buy anything until you've posted five stories? I seem to recall Jacky saying that recently?! But, I'm not sure, 'cuz there doesn't appear to be a rule to that effect. Perhaps a "common courtesy" thing of you not having made enough money yet to buy anything with other peoples' money?

Bu t, d o y ou lik e M Y co lo ur s, Vi nn y? biggrin.gif

Colt M14
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#1248

Posted 29 July 2009 - 08:55 AM

QUOTE (aragond @ Jul 29 2009, 05:28)
QUOTE (WelcomeToLibertyCity @ Jul 29 2009, 01:09)
Tarnell , if you buy a weapon for your gang, eveyrone that's aprt of your gang can use it.

Am I correct in my belief that you cannot, however, buy anything until you've posted five stories? I seem to recall Jacky saying that recently?! But, I'm not sure, 'cuz there doesn't appear to be a rule to that effect. Perhaps a "common courtesy" thing of you not having made enough money yet to buy anything with other peoples' money?

Bu t, d o y ou lik e M Y co lo ur s, Vi nn y? biggrin.gif

I reckon this should be a full rule, if some new guy comes, writes one story and buys up all of the gangs cash, Then go inactive for 3 months.

vinnygorgeous
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#1249

Posted 29 July 2009 - 10:56 AM

you know what really stings when you genuinely try and pour your heart and soul into a chapter and your rating is simply inappropriate. If your going to rate do the writer the courtesy of actually reading the story don't just scan it and put a carbon copy comment, it doesn’t mean anything if you get exactly the same comment as someone else who hasn't bothered to proofread. My last chapter I didn't get a single comment in my rating just a dollar amount, and I spent two weeks on it, it's de-motivating! why should I bother trying to improve or to push myself when the ratings are like that, it's BS, we have loads of active staff at the moment so the quality should be going up not nose diving. As a writer and a staff member, I am feeling extremely disenchanted with BUYGIV at the moment, and I genuinely enjoy it but the way things are going I won‘t be active for much longer.

Colt M14
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#1250

Posted 29 July 2009 - 11:24 AM

QUOTE (vinnygorgeous @ Jul 29 2009, 21:56)
you know what really stings when you genuinely try and pour your heart and soul into a chapter and your rating is simply inappropriate. If your going to rate do the writer the courtesy of actually reading the story don't just scan it and put a carbon copy comment, it doesn’t mean anything if you get exactly the same comment as someone else who hasn't bothered to proofread. My last chapter I didn't get a single comment in my rating just a dollar amount, and I spent two weeks on it, it's de-motivating! why should I bother trying to improve or to push myself when the ratings are like that, it's BS, we have loads of active staff at the moment so the quality should be going up not nose diving. As a writer and a staff member, I am feeling extremely disenchanted with BUYGIV at the moment, and I genuinely enjoy it but the way things are going I won‘t be active for much longer.

O.o Someone needs a major hug. The whole, Pouring heart and soul into a no commented story happens to everyone, all the time. It's okay. biggrin.gif

mark-2007
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#1251

Posted 29 July 2009 - 06:59 PM

I've been a wee bit ill the past week, but I'm getting writing on my firs story for the Pavanos after having done a fair bit research on the LCPD database. Only got a paragraph at the minute, but it should be posted within the next few days, I reckon. Does my fellow Pavano writer Kinko Kabushi Kapow (or however he's worded it) still write? I ask as I'm wondering if I can sell some of my weapons? I like the feeling of starting off with nothing and working my way up in BUYG.

WelcomeToLibertyCity
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#1252

Posted 29 July 2009 - 08:50 PM

QUOTE (vinnygorgeous @ Jul 29 2009, 06:56)
you know what really stings when you genuinely try and pour your heart and soul into a chapter and your rating is simply inappropriate. If your going to rate do the writer the courtesy of actually reading the story don't just scan it and put a carbon copy comment, it doesn’t mean anything if you get exactly the same comment as someone else who hasn't bothered to proofread. My last chapter I didn't get a single comment in my rating just a dollar amount, and I spent two weeks on it, it's de-motivating! why should I bother trying to improve or to push myself when the ratings are like that, it's BS, we have loads of active staff at the moment so the quality should be going up not nose diving. As a writer and a staff member, I am feeling extremely disenchanted with BUYGIV at the moment, and I genuinely enjoy it but the way things are going I won‘t be active for much longer.

I believe I was the one who rated that story, and afterwards you asked me why I didn't comment. I'll say it again, it's only because I couldn't think of anything at the time.

I later proceeded to say it was in fact a wonderful chapter, and that the only thing I can tell you to improve on would be more action.

Don't give up on your writing you're very talented. icon14.gif

Omnia sunt Communia
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#1253

Posted 29 July 2009 - 09:57 PM

QUOTE (mark-2007 @ Jul 29 2009, 19:59)
Does my fellow Pavano writer Kinko Kabushi Kapow (or however he's worded it) still write? I ask as I'm wondering if I can sell some of my weapons? I like the feeling of starting off with nothing and working my way up in BUYG.

He posted his last story (and last post in this thread) around about 15 days ago. I would consider giving him a little more time before you go and squander all of his ill-gotten weapons. Either that or PM and ask him if he minds?

Tommy V
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#1254

Posted 30 July 2009 - 04:15 AM

This BUYG thing looks great guys. I can imagine great fun and havoc writing for the criminal underworld within Liberty City. Once I think of a good gang to write for, I shall join! (I'll probably be writing my first story tomorrow.)

-Tommy

aragond
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#1255

Posted 30 July 2009 - 04:26 AM Edited by aragond, 30 July 2009 - 09:26 AM.

QUOTE (mark-2007 @ Jul 29 2009, 19:59)
I ask as I'm wondering if I can sell some of my weapons? I like the feeling of starting off with nothing and working my way up in BUYG.

Sell weapons? mercie_blink.gif smile.gif Well, you know you'd just end up with a cash windfall, which is hardly like starting out. Or there's plenty of other gangs that have next-to-nothing, like the Torres, the Koreans, even the AoD. You could build them up? Or, restrict yourself, don't use what's available to you. wink.gif
None of these suggestions cut it, do they? biggrin.gif

@Colt, I think it's something probably most staff would enforce, but I agree the rules ought to say so

@My friend Vinny, don't give up, mate. We would miss your stories. I know you've been discouraged by some a lack of rating, but I suspect you're hitting a motivational brick wall, too. If it helps to know, I think we've all gotten discouraged. I certainly have. Repeatedly. And I've only been in here three months. lol.gif

Question: Is this (below) BUYG's "Combat Shotgun"?


user posted image

Rucke
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#1256

Posted 30 July 2009 - 10:06 AM

QUOTE (aragond @ Jul 30 2009, 05:26)
Question: Is this (below) BUYG's "Combat Shotgun"?[/color]

user posted image

Yes it is. If you're thinking of buying it I would recommend the pump shotgun more. It's cheaper.

aragond
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#1257

Posted 30 July 2009 - 05:08 PM

QUOTE (Rucke @ Jul 30 2009, 20:06)
Yes it is. If you're thinking of buying it I would recommend the pump shotgun more. It's cheaper.

Yep, given that is more what the Pegorino henchmen were using, that makes good sense, too. So, let me say this, Rucke, ole buddy, ole pal biggrin.gif as a returned Pegorino with a few bucks rightfully yours in the kitty, there'll be NO objection from me if you bought it. biggrin.gif
However, I've got an explicit storyline-reason, around story #9 or 10, for the Combat shotties. smile.gif

So, what's the "Assault Shotgun"? Uh, no wonder. TLAD. cryani.gif
(It's a frakkin CANNON! A 12-round version of the 10-round Combat shotty.)

And while we're on the topic of acquiring weapons, Q 4 staff: the free-under-$500-vehicle-after-20-stories ... does that "under" include "equal to"? I mean, when inflation pushed story earnings and vehicle prices up in March, I'm not sure the $150 / $500 rewards were boosted, soooo... biggrin.gif Surely one dollar won't make ALL the difference, will it? smile.gif (just planning ahead.)

WelcomeToLibertyCity
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#1258

Posted 30 July 2009 - 05:18 PM

QUOTE (aragond @ Jul 30 2009, 13:08)
QUOTE (Rucke @ Jul 30 2009, 20:06)
Yes it is. If you're thinking of buying it I would recommend the pump shotgun more. It's cheaper.

So, what's the "Assault Shotgun"? Uh, no wonder. TLAD. cryani.gif
(It's a frakkin CANNON! A 12-round version of the 10-round Combat shotty.)

And while we're on the topic of acquiring weapons, Q 4 staff: the free-under-$500-vehicle-after-20-stories ... does that "under" include "equal to"? I mean, when inflation pushed story earnings and vehicle prices up in March, I'm not sure the $150 / $500 rewards were boosted, soooo... biggrin.gif Surely one dollar won't make ALL the difference, will it? smile.gif (just planning ahead.)

By the looks of it, you could take down a plane from the ground with that shot gun! lol.gif

I too am wondering if that reward includes a vehicle costing $500, as I am one story away from that bonus on BUYG San Andreas. I think it should, seeing as it's only a difference of a dolar.

mark-2007
  • mark-2007

    Big Homie

  • The Connection
  • Joined: 09 Apr 2006

#1259

Posted 31 July 2009 - 12:30 AM Edited by mark-2007, 07 January 2010 - 04:26 AM.

The Pavano Crime Family
Vincenzo de Luca

1. The First Wednesday of the Month
2. New Faces
3. The Playboy Mansion

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Here's my first chapter in what is hopefully a long line of Pavano storylines. The storyline will be set out from about five months before IV begins until sometime near the end, or perhaps after, IV ends.

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The Pavano Crime Family
1. The First Wednesday of the Month

A train carriage rattled its away through Bohan upon the elevated train tracks, shaking window panes and waking those residents of the surrounding apartment blocks who weren’t yet hardened to such noise. To the others, sleep continued without trouble. This train, which sped past every morning at 7:03, was Vincenzo de Luca’s alarm clock. Within half an hour he had showered, pulled on his overalls, wolfed down some toast, and was out the front door. His workday began at 8:00, but Vincenzo liked to buy that day’s issue of the Liberty Tree, and then stop by Café Inn to get a cup of coffee. Café Inn, in Vincenzo’s opinion, made the best coffee in all of Liberty. He didn’t drink any of that Bean Machine, piss-weak crap they served. With the newspaper tucked under his arm and coffee in a paper cup held in his hand, Vinny made his way back to his car – an ’02, ‘Cosmo Black’ Sentinel which hadn’t been washed in months and thus had a collection of dead bugs fixed to the windshield.

The docks were veiled in a thin sea fret from the Atlantic which brought with it an eerie silence despite the workers operating machinery in the distance. Vinny pulled into a lane behind a large factory belonging to Alpha Mail Couriers. The lane housed several garages and these overlooked the mouth of the Humboldt River. To the west of the lane of garages was a steep-sided dockyard where the workers went about their business like ants, unloading shipments, hooking it up to the crane and then lifting it to the cargo bay above.

What the workers didn’t know, and what only a select few people including Vinny, his boss, and the Union leaders did know, was that the dock and garage were intricately linked. Every day a shipment would come in to the dock and it’d be moved out to wherever it went. A small part of that shipment was car parts: engine parts, break pads, windshields, and so on. This cargo would be moved to the bay above and then transported the short way along the lane into the Auto Parts garages where Vinny worked to be fitted into cars which were in need of fixing. That particular day happened to be the first Wednesday of the month, and so the shipment of car parts contained an extra little something: heroin.

The heroin would make its way into Liberty City on the ship from Mexico. It’d never been found, and this was largely due to the pressure on the dock workers by their Union leaders to not follow usual procedures on the shipment. There were no in-depth cargo inspections, and the added weight of the car parts went unquestioned. Meanwhile, Vinny and his fellow workmates would receive cars from any willing residents of the city. However, on the first Monday of every month, Vinny would arrive at the garage to find several new cars waiting to be fixed. These cars were unlike any other he usually dealt with during the month in that on the underside of the hood was an ‘x’ marked in yellow spray paint. This symbolised that the car was to be packed with heroin. Vinny and his colleagues would receive the shipment of car parts containing the heroin two days later and the car parts would be fitted into the marked cars and then collected by other people in the know. From here, it could be moved across the whole of Liberty City without trouble. Vinny wasn’t sure where exactly the cars were taken to, as he’d never been the one to take them there. A large percentage of it would end up in the hands of drug barons in African-American street gangs in northern Algonquin, and, eventually, in the bloodstreams of addicts throughout Liberty.

Taking a sip of coffee before setting it down on the desk, Vinny switched on the company computer and logged into the Auto Parts Eyefind email account. A message flashed upon the screen informing Vinny that a new email awaited him. The sender, Joe Corrola, was the owner of the garages and thus Vinny’s boss. Vinny was the manager of the garage, and three people worked under him. He opened the email and began to read:

Hey Vinny,

When you’re done fixing up one of the cars, bring it to my place in Purgatory sometime today. There’s someone I want to introduce you to.

Thanks, Joe.


Joe wasn’t just Vinny’s boss; he was in charge of the whole heroin distribution ring for the Pavano crime family, one of the most powerful criminal organisations in all of Liberty. Vinny didn’t know much about the Family’s dealings outside of the little he’d learned from Joe about the heroin trade, but he had the feeling this new introduction was going to be an eye-opener.

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Hope you enjoyed it. For those wondering about certain locations. This is where Vinny's apartment is, and this is where the dockyard and garages are.

Benjimino234
  • Benjimino234

    ♤ ♡ ♢ ♧

  • Members
  • Joined: 03 Dec 2006

#1260

Posted 31 July 2009 - 06:54 AM Edited by Benjimino234, 31 July 2009 - 11:57 AM.

QUOTE (vinnygorgeous @ Jul 29 2009, 20:26)
you know what really stings when you genuinely try and pour your heart and soul into a chapter and your rating is simply inappropriate. If your going to rate do the writer the courtesy of actually reading the story don't just scan it and put a carbon copy comment, it doesn’t mean anything if you get exactly the same comment as someone else who hasn't bothered to proofread. My last chapter I didn't get a single comment in my rating just a dollar amount, and I spent two weeks on it, it's de-motivating! why should I bother trying to improve or to push myself when the ratings are like that, it's BS, we have loads of active staff at the moment so the quality should be going up not nose diving. As a writer and a staff member, I am feeling extremely disenchanted with BUYGIV at the moment, and I genuinely enjoy it but the way things are going I won‘t be active for much longer.

I'ma nice guy, make me staff lollolollool.
Posted by Benjimino234, spamming since Dec, 2006. YEAHHH

OT: Hey, I might be getting GTA IV soon! *yay!* And then I'm gonna start writing here and your heads are gonna explode from overexposure to pure awesomeness, it that will pulsate through your eyes and penetrating your brain; boiling the fluids and overloading your nervous system. Froth will foam out of your mouth, your eyes will roll into your head and eventually melting, your muscles will spasm uncontrollably while your lungs fill with blood!

Well, that's just for starters. biggrin.gif Can't wait!

Also with the gang members buying stuff, I think it's mandatory to PM the other gang members on your future purchases; especially vehicles, rackets and drugs. Ad yeah a 5 story min for newbies to be able to purchase stuff, but if is consulted with all existing gang members it's fine.




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