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BUYG: Build Up Your Gang IV

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Build Up Your Gang
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#1201

Posted 22 July 2009 - 08:12 PM Edited by Build Up Your Gang, 22 July 2009 - 08:21 PM.

Hey guys, great job on all the new gang locations, keep it up!

Mr.c TO the J
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You need to watch out for adding periods, question marks, etc. where people speak (example: "Where to Alan?") Also watch your spelling.

Sanjeem
1st Story
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Good story for a start. Just watch out for capitalization where it's not needed and watch your spelling. You're location has been switched as well.


By, WelcomeToLibertyCity.

aragond
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#1202

Posted 23 July 2009 - 02:59 AM

QUOTE (Jacky Fiend @ Jul 23 2009, 04:38)
I'm playing through GTA IV again and I just completed the mission "Harbouring A Grudge". A possible property for The Pegorino Family might be 'Cogs 'N' Hogs Auto Electric', it is the lock-up that Niko delivers the stolen goods too, it is owned by Ray Boccino.

While I'm not sure the Pegorinos need any more locations, I endorse this suggestion. (In case anyone cared to know my view. tounge.gif )

I loved that mission. Packie's cool.


This high-value post was brought to you by aragond's ego. biggrin.gif

Vinny, I think, means the mission "To live and die in Alderney" where Phil and Niko transfer the coke they robbed off the Russians to a safer location, which happens to be Pizza This.

Good memory, Vinny. I'd forgotten about that one. All I remembered was dropping off at the hospital and legging it.

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#1203

Posted 24 July 2009 - 01:20 AM Edited by Jacky Fiend, 24 July 2009 - 01:47 AM.

I'm considering setting up another branch of the Irish Mob, this one being based in Alderney and lead by the late Bucky Sligo and Aiden O'Malley. The first property that comes to mind is this house in Westdyke which is the location of Bucky's crew in the mission "Smackdown" for Derrick McReary.

Combine that with the suggestion from Tyla to use the Leprechauns Winklepicker Irish Bar in Babbage Drive, Berchem, Alderney and that gives us two locations already. I'm going to play through the rest of Derrick McReary's missions and see if I can come up with a third location.

If I can then expect to see the Alderney Irish Mob very soon.

We've also got plans to include the Ancelotti Family very soon. Three possible properities for them include: The Waste Management Plant on Colony Island (as seen in the mission "Waste Not Want Knots"), the Salvage Yard in Northwood (as seen in "Actions Speak Louder than Words") and the Pizza Pasta Ristorante which is frequented by Anthony "Tony Black" Spoleto in the same mission.

Other possible locations include Gracie Ancelotti's house, Hercules and Masionette 9; though we will probably wait until the release of The Ballad of Gay Tony before adding these locations.

We're also planning on adding the Northwood Dominican Drug Dealers as soon as we learn more about them from TBoGT. At the moment the only properities we have for them in Teddy Benedivez's apartment block (as seen in "Long Way To Fall") and the Old Hospital on Charge Island (as seen in "Snow Storm") which will be taken from the Torres Cartel.

Any ideas or suggestions would be greatly appreciated at this point. Including properities, gangs, or even new weapons and vehicles that we have forgot to include.

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#1204

Posted 24 July 2009 - 02:23 AM

Can't wait for the Northwood Dominican Drug Dealers to be added, it would be interesting to write for them, in my opinion.

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#1205

Posted 24 July 2009 - 02:33 AM

Don't expect them to be added till some time after The Ballad of Gay Tony is released. There is still too little information about them at the moment. Though I may consider adding the Alderney Irish Mob and Ancelotti Family before it is released. Another possible gang in the pipeline if the Jewish Mob as led by the late Isaac Roth and Mori Green; though we're a bit unsure on what properities to give them.

With those gangs added, it would mean the only gangs featured in GTA IV/TL&D which have yet to be included would be: The Lupisella Family, the Messina Family, Uptown Riders and the Leftwood Hispanic Street Gang. Though I'm not sure how important adding them will be. It depends on how much exposure they get in TBoGT.

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#1206

Posted 24 July 2009 - 03:08 AM

QUOTE (Jacky Fiend @ Jul 23 2009, 19:33)
Don't expect them to be added till some time after The Ballad of Gay Tony is released. There is still too little information about them at the moment.

I know! It just gives me more time to think up of the characters and such. Hopefully the other families are heavily featured in TBoGT, as I can imagine constant, nonstop wars going on. The wars between the families could be very interesting for stories (presuming they're not on good terms with each other?).

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#1207

Posted 24 July 2009 - 03:18 AM

May I offer a couple of thoughts on this:

QUOTE (Jacky Fiend @ Jul 24 2009, 11:20)
I'm considering setting up another branch of the Irish Mob

I also love the idea of a second Irish mob, 'cuz it sounds cool. But is there demand for Bucky's irish gang? Just wondering aloud. Then again, we would need a list of which has been the most popular gang . . . Hmm.

QUOTE (continued...)
Other possible locations include Gracie Ancelotti's house

Can I, once more, speak against using Gracie's house as an Ancelotti base? The fact that there were gang members there was only for her post-kidnapping protection, and they'll not use her place since she's a civilian, not to mention the boss's daughter.
As the old saying goes: you don't sh!t where you eat. So, the Boss would NOT be happy to see his daughter endangered further by having her house used as a base of operations, and thus prone to attack from, not least, the Pegs.


QUOTE (continued...)
Any ideas or suggestions would be greatly appreciated at this point. Including properities, gangs, or even new weapons and vehicles that we have forgot to include.

Well, I did ask about weapons in my last story post, a lead pipe and body armour.
But, if you're going to add these, can the Pegs, at least, get them for free, since, well, I did kinda suggest them and get told I could use them without charge.

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#1208

Posted 24 July 2009 - 03:23 AM

I cannot see a lead pipe getting added to the weapons list as we only add ones that feature in-game. We did a similar sort of thing to what you're suggesting in the San Andreas BUYG a while back and we ended up with a long list of weapons that nobody ever used. This time we're going to stick with what is in-game.

As for the Alderney Irish Mob, what harm can it do? The Irish Mob have been consistantly popular ever since we set up shop over here and I don't think adding another branch of them (founded in real game facts) can do any harm. The more the merrier after all. Especially true for the more popular gangs.

Body armour is a big redundant and I cannot see it being added any time soon either, I'm afraid.

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#1209

Posted 24 July 2009 - 10:56 AM

Oh Man! I really need GTA IV. I really want to do this. The San Andreas one is too inactive. sad.gif

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#1210

Posted 24 July 2009 - 01:39 PM

The only inactivity Benjimino is writers, and I don't know why they all left. I went on a little summer vacation, came back and the place had gone to sh*t.

Anyways, I'm happy to see some new gangs. Mostly I'm interested in the Northwood Dominican Drug Dealers. Should be neat to see what stories people can come up with.

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#1211

Posted 24 July 2009 - 05:00 PM Edited by aragond, 24 July 2009 - 05:11 PM.

QUOTE (Jacky Fiend @ Jul 24 2009, 13:23)
I cannot see a lead pipe getting added to the weapons list as we only add ones that feature in-game . . . Body armour is a big redundant and I cannot see it being added any time soon either, I'm afraid.

You may think you've disappointed me. Nope. smile.gif I didn't feel comfortable getting them for free anyway. wink.gif
Understand your reasoning, too. All good, Jacky. Thx.


QUOTE (continued...)
As for the Alderney Irish Mob, what harm can it do? (snip..)

Oh, no, all true. Wasn't arguing against it, as such, was more wondering aloud whether they were popular enough to warrant a second gang, when, maybe other gangs were more popular, yet missing out. D'ya get me?

aragond's at it again!

Now, *I* wrote:

QUOTE
I also love the idea of a second Irish mob, 'cuz it sounds cool. But is there demand for Bucky's irish gang? Just wondering aloud. Then again, we would need a list of which has been the most popular gang . . . Hmm.


And with that in mind, and not realising how big a B!TCH of a job this would be without frakkin' Search reactivated (wanna know the worst part? It JUST has been reactivated . . . $(@#^@( #&@($ ^#@(@ )#^#()@ )#^&$ #()$!!!!!!), I prepared the following:

A list of each gang, how many times someone, anyone, whether they wrote or not, has requested to join it, the number of people who have posted stories (some were not rated) for that gang, and then the number of stories for that gang:

Gang # interested # writers # stories
Pegorino Family 13 10 76 (34)
Petrovic Bratva 12 9 23
Angels of Death 11 6 10
North Holland Hustlers 10 3 13
Irish Mob 9 6 36
Spanish Lords 8 3 9
M.O.B. 7 4 64 (12)
The Pavano Family 6 4 21
Albanian Mob 6 4 14
Hillside Posse 6 2 2
The Gambetti Family 5 5 45 (10)
Torres Cartel 5 3 49 (2)
Triads 5 5 9
The Lost MC 4 1 15
Korean Mob 1 1 5

(Please, table, just format properly!)

So, just so you understand, 13 people have said "I'll write for the Pegorino Family", 9 have actually done so, and, between them, they've written 76 stories. (Alright, but 42 of those are Rucke's.) Get it?

And please note, the number of stories for the Pegs, the M.O.B., The Gambetti Family and the Torres Cartel have inflated story counts because Rucke, El Zilcho and Mrpain are stunningly prolific writers. In brackets are the counts SANS those writers, if it matters.

Alright, why did I do this? Aside from having a delirious attack of statistics fever? I guess to help us (you staff, really) decide which have been the most popular gangs, which gangs had the most interest that, eh, didn't quite pan out -- there was a LOT of people who wanted to write, said they'd write, but were gone after four days of off-topic posts (thirty-one of them to be precise) -- and then which gangs had the most written about them.

To point out, f'instance, that El Zilcho is really the only one who's (mega-prolificly) written for the Torres Cartel, so, maybe their current three locations is fine for them, and that, and that he's also the The Gambetti Family's biggest writer (again by a wiiiiiiiide margin), so maybe they don't need any more locations. To laugh that The Lost MC that, for all their hype and DLC, have only had Colt M14 write for them, and to point out that the Hillside Posse have really only had two people write one story each for them, so, do they really need any more locations?

To similarly cast doubt on the Triads, the Korean Mob, and Spanish Lords, although, the latter are ranked 6th in the "interest" race, which maybe compensates.

To suggest that perhaps demand for the Pegorino Family will be sated by introducing the Ancelottis, that the Petrovic Bratva could probably do with more properties, and perhaps also the Angels of Death.

To make note that the three reddish-coloured gangs appear at the top of my list, and to thus recommend that we recolour ALL the gangs a shade of red so as to boost their popularity. smile.gif

To agree that since the Irish Mob are the 5th most popular gang to want to write for, the equal-3rd most popular by # writers, and (if we discount the extraordinary writers) the Irish actually top the table. So, I stand corrected, maybe introducing Bucky Sligo's Alderney Irish might prove fruitful afterall.

And then to make note that there has been 98 different people post in this topic, and about half (46) of them (us) posted stories, but to point out that the AVERAGE number of stories posted per participant per gang (so Rucke's 50 posts are divided between the 4 gangs he wrote for) is 5.8, while HALF the number of stories per participant per gang is one or two stories. If you've written three or more for one gang, you're doing better than half the participants (per gang, that is).

But, no, seriously, I poured my evening out for this summary so that I could provide staff with an idea of what to apply their property-searching to. Of course, what WAS popular in the past might not be popular in the future. But, hey, I'm good . . . I'm not THAT good. wink.gif



Did I get some numbers wrong? Yeah, I might be a couple out here and there, 'cuz these numbers don't agree with other numbers, and blah blah blah. It's close enough.

However, I just want to make sure of something here: On the front-page, where, f'example, it says "mrpain 4 (52)", does that mean 52 TOTAL posts, including the 4 with the Irish Mob, and 48 with other gangs.
OR
Does it mean 52 stories wit other gangs PLUS 4 with the Irish Mob???
I *think* it's the latter ('cuz ScratchCard's numbers would be skrewy, otherwise), but I just want to check that IS the case.


QUOTE (WelcomeToLibertyCity @ Jul 24 2009, 23:39)
The only inactivity Benjimino is writers, and I don't know why they all left. I went on a little summer vacation, came back and the place had gone to sh*t.

Now, it's funny that you should mention that, 'cuz as I was going through the names, I was thinking "Oh... yeah. WTF did he go? And, oh, yeah, him too!" I've mentioned a few above. Some people that were keenly participating have disappeared around end-May or end-June. I really hope they're coming back, that August, when school restarts, brings them back, 'cuz . . . cryani.gif

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#1212

Posted 24 July 2009 - 05:05 PM

There's nothing stopping anyone just saying they'll take a spot if it's free. I know there's at least 2 spots free for the Albanian Mob, and with BUYG it has always been "first come, first served" really.

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#1213

Posted 24 July 2009 - 05:43 PM

There is no special treatment for "popular" gangs because it is down to the players themselves which gang they want to write for. We are simply trying to represent each gang portrayed in GTA IV in the best possible light to allow for the most people to write about what they want to write for.

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#1214

Posted 24 July 2009 - 05:47 PM

I don't see why the other Bratvia cannot be included, as the stories could be set during the gameís timeline or after the remnants could re-group under a new leader.
Also the Ancelottis own the Alderney fruit markets, which although I believe is only a theoretical location isnít that also true of Aragondís location.

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#1215

Posted 24 July 2009 - 05:55 PM

I'm not sure about this but the thought just popped into my head. How about including all of the gangs previously listed(Lupisella Family, Northwood Dominicans etc) and giving them one location as a trial location? If their space gets filled, we simply provide another one, and if that fills, another one up until a gang has four locations and they have to buy the 5th, 6th and so on. That way, gangs could be introduced and be "encouraged" to grow, rather than jumping in with four spaces to be occupied.

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#1216

Posted 24 July 2009 - 05:55 PM

QUOTE (aragond @ Jul 24 2009, 13:00)
Did I get some numbers wrong? Yeah, I might be a couple out here and there, 'cuz these numbers don't agree with other numbers, and blah blah blah. It's close enough.

However, I just want to make sure of something here: On the front-page, where, f'example, it says "mrpain 4 (52)", does that mean 52 TOTAL posts, including the 4 with the Irish Mob, and 48 with other gangs.
OR
Does it mean 52 stories wit other gangs PLUS 4 with the Irish Mob???
I *think* it's the latter ('cuz ScratchCard's numbers would be skrewy, otherwise), but I just want to check that IS the case.


The bracketed numbers are how many stories they posted for other gangs. That number stays the same until they switch gangs again. The bracketed numbers are for story bonuses and that sort of stuff.

Any stories written for the user's current gang stay outside of the bracketed numbers, and obviously, change as the user posts more stories. Hope that answers your question.

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#1217

Posted 25 July 2009 - 01:19 AM

QUOTE (WelcomeToLibertyCity @ Jul 24 2009, 18:55)
QUOTE (aragond @ Jul 24 2009, 13:00)
Did I get some numbers wrong? Yeah, I might be a couple out here and there, 'cuz these numbers don't agree with other numbers, and blah blah blah. It's close enough.

However, I just want to make sure of something here: On the front-page, where, f'example, it says "mrpain 4 (52)", does that mean 52 TOTAL posts, including the 4 with the Irish Mob, and 48 with other gangs.
OR
Does it mean 52 stories wit other gangs PLUS 4 with the Irish Mob???
I *think* it's the latter ('cuz ScratchCard's numbers would be skrewy, otherwise), but I just want to check that IS the case.


The bracketed numbers are how many stories they posted for other gangs. That number stays the same until they switch gangs again. The bracketed numbers are for story bonuses and that sort of stuff.

Any stories written for the user's current gang stay outside of the bracketed numbers, and obviously, change as the user posts more stories. Hope that answers your question.

It means:

Current gang stories (Total gang stories).

So, for instance, if someone was to write 12 stories for the Irish Mob, then switch to the Pegorinos and write three for them, it'd be: 3 (15). As 3 is the number of stories they've written for their current gang, and 15 is the total stories overall. Thus, mulitple of five stories are for the bracketed, overall numbers but other bonuses such as cheap weapons and vehicles are for unbracketed, current gang numbers.

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#1218

Posted 25 July 2009 - 01:34 AM

I'd like to join the North Holland Hustlers at Playboy X's Loft in Algonquin if I may.

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#1219

Posted 25 July 2009 - 11:40 AM Edited by aragond, 25 July 2009 - 11:48 AM.

I think staff have something to discuss/agree here.

QUOTE (WelcomeToLibertyCity @ Jul 24 2009, 18:55)
The bracketed numbers are how many stories they posted for other gangs. That number stays the same until they switch gangs again. The bracketed numbers are for story bonuses and that sort of stuff. . . . Any stories written for the user's current gang stay outside of the bracketed numbers, and obviously, change as the user posts more stories.
QUOTE (mark-2007 @ Jul 25 2009, 11:19)
It means: Current gang stories (Total gang stories).

So, for instance, if someone was to write 12 stories for the Irish Mob, then switch to the Pegorinos and write three for them, it'd be: 3 (15). As 3 is the number of stories they've written for their current gang, and 15 is the total stories overall. Thus, mulitple of five stories are for the bracketed, overall numbers but other bonuses such as cheap weapons and vehicles are for unbracketed, current gang numbers.

IF what is you say is true, Mark, then (a) Rucke's been cheated, 'cuz it says "2 (48)" yet he's written 40 stories for the Pegorinos, six for the Spanish Lords, two more for the Pegorinos and now two for the Petrovics. So, it ought to say "2 (50)", and (b) ScratchCard's "9 (8)" wouldn't make sense.

What I am horrified to think is that you're BOTH right, and the numbers are sometimes one, sometimes the other. cry.gif


QUOTE (Jacky Fiend @ Jul 25 2009, 03:43)
There is no special treatment for "popular" gangs because it is down to the players themselves which gang they want to write for. We are simply trying to represent each gang portrayed in GTA IV in the best possible light to allow for the most people to write about what they want to write for.

Okay ... but "popularity", that is, say, the number of people that have written for a gang, is the same as "to allow for the most people to write about what they want to write for", non?
If twice as many people have written for, say, the Pegs over the Triads or Gambettis, then it would make sense to have twice as many slots open for the Pegs (or at least mafioso) as Triads. That said, I guess it would give a strategic advantage to the Pegorinos, as a BUYG gang, if they were to have up to, for example, eight slots for writers, 'cuz they'd get richer quicker, just like enticing Rucke, Mrpain or ElZilcho to write for your gang would make your gang richer quicker. lol.gif

But, it's all good. I pulled some numbers out of our BUYG IV posts. There was no agenda. (And certainly not a pro-Peg' one.) If it's not useful, it's not useful.

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#1220

Posted 25 July 2009 - 11:45 AM

My 8 (9) was apperently because some of my stories were so bad that they didn't even count tounge.gif

As for my Albanian Mob stories, I'm not sure what to do with them. Might start all over again with them (again tounge.gif)

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#1221

Posted 25 July 2009 - 04:19 PM

QUOTE (Stefan. @ Jul 24 2009, 18:34)
I'd like to join the North Holland Hustlers at Playboy X's Loft in Algonquin if I may.

Because it's first come first serve, you can write for any gang's property without asking, as long as the property is not taken.

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#1222

Posted 25 July 2009 - 04:31 PM

What mark-2007 said about story counts is correct. I mean, he should know, since he was one of the staff members at the time BUYG IV was set up (though he didn't join in till much later). A member's story count should always be set out like the following:

Storys for current gang (Total stories)

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#1223

Posted 26 July 2009 - 04:51 AM Edited by aragond, 02 August 2009 - 05:43 PM.

Review previous scene
user posted image
(Story #4)

Episode One, "Vicissitude", Part Four

"The streets are whispering already."

Big Lou's ears were ringing, the smoke-blackened air swirling and clearing, Al's distressed face seemed to be shouting, but to Lou it was only a distant echo. Where was he? Blood on his fingertips?

"And Jimmy's not even in the ground."

Jimmy! His heart skipped, but the solidly-built coffin was untouched, though the Romero's rear was dented, scored and blackened.

And still the day came, like a hurricane, rushing back.

"My sincere condolences, Mr Lou.
- Pearline"

"Yeah. Outa sight is outa trouble."

"Nah, nuthin, Leo."

-----------------------

The crowd on the steps of Columbus Cathedral had swelled from across four streets with smartly-dressed people speaking in hushed tones. Greeting, shaking-hands, hugging, kissing cheeks. Black suits and ties, black dresses and veils were in abundance.

The cathedral's bell tolled more insistently a second round, and mourners began quietly filing inside. Without the slightest hint of irony, each member and associate of the Pegorino Family did as each member and friend to the Pegorino family: using the Holy Water, respectfully crossing themselves, bowing and taking their seats in the pews. Despite some uncharitable assumptions that some of those filing inside might burst into flames at the first touch of the Holy Water, the procession inside progressed combustion-free.

While made-men filed into pews, discretely about half-way down the long rows, several of their associates maintained a quiet vigil at the back of the church for security. While it would be uncharacteristic for any of the Commission Families to attempt to disrupt the funeral, no one was sure whether there wasn't some Russians still alive to cause trouble.

Mrs Pegorino sat at the front-left of the pews, several women attending to her, and many mourners breaking out of their pews and paying their respects to her, taking her hand, exchanging quiet words, perhaps briefly sitting beside her, before allowing the next mourner to greet her with condolances. One of those was Gino Motelli, last of Jimmy's Capos, who made an attempt to express his condolences to Jimmy's widow and sit beside her. But, with a shriek of defiance and a shout of "I don't want them near me!", Mrs Pegorino forced Gino to respectfully, and with some measure of embarrassment, retreat to a pew further back in the church. If there was to be a transition, Lou thought, it would be without Mrs Peg's blessing.

As the Priest, in full regalia, stood, Lou, and undoubtedly several others, felt his heart skip a beat. This was it. They were burying the boss, and no one had any idea what would come next.

"Before we begin," the Priest said in a more familiar tone, "I have been asked to inform you all that James' wake will be held at the Pegorino family home this afternoon." Encouraged by someone in the front pews, he continued, "Oh, and you are all welcome except...- oh, my.

"Uh," he stammered, "uh, I'll.. uh, paraphrase, that excludes those that...-"

"Except for you f*ckers that got my Jimmy killed!" Mrs Pegorino's croaking voice was distinctive. But, to be sure, she stood. "None of you are allowed anywhere near the f*cking house!" she shrieked with a warning arm outstretched. "So, don't bother!"

The congregation stirred into a quiet hub-bub, she sat down, and the Priest tried to regain control of the church. "God, the Almighty Father, raised Christ his Son from the dead," he intoned, "with confidence we ask him to save all his people, living and dead."

Without hesitation or doubt, the Priest continued. "For James, who in baptism was given the pledge of eternal life, that he may now be admitted to the company of the saints."

"Lord, hear us. Lord, graciously hear us," the congregation replied in one voice.

Leo, sitting in the pew behind Big Lou and Franny, leaned forward and whispered: "Well, if Mrs P' aint Gino's fan, should we really be having him as a boss? She'd give you, Lou, or Franny her blessing far more easily."

"I think she'd rather shoot any one of us," Franny quipped, still staring ahead, shocked at her outburst.

"I don't think it would matter, Leo," Lou replied. "Gino's not gonna listen to her any more than he will to you or I."

"Lord, for our brother who ate the body of Christ, the bread of life, that he may be raised up on the last day."

"But, you can't just sit back and let him take it unchallenged," Leo persisted, his voice rising slightly in volume. "He only got made a caporegime a couple o' months ago!"

In the pew in front of Franny and Lou, an elderly woman turned around and hushed them. Leo leaned back, and Lou gave a minute's pause before turning his head back to answer him.

"You think a challenge will make any difference to Gino, or Sammy or Joel?" Lou whispered even more quietly.

Joey G, overhearing, or perhaps guessing the subject being discussed, added his voice. "Yeah, but do you think the other families are gonna respect us when Gino, Sammy and Joel are running the family? They aint got the diplomacy Franny or you's got."

"Lou, he's right" Leo whispered in support. "If Gino takes over, Sammy and Joel will be his key guys.

"And none of them is right in the head," he added incredulously. "They'll get us all killed over some bat-f*ck bullsh!t. And I don' wanna wind up like Jimmy an' half his crew. You gotta do this!"

"Lord, for us all, that faced with eternity we may forget all distractions and turn our minds to what truly is."

Lou paused a moment: what truly is, aye? He staring over at Sammy and Joel sitting either side of Gino in pews across the central aisle. They, too, were quietly whispering. Plotting. For a brief second, Big Lou caught Joel's eye, causing him to momentarily pause his planning with Gino. But, for only a moment.

"Guys," Lou said pensively, "you cannot really be thinkin' Gino will give up what he and his crew regard as his right?"

He paused respectfully as scripture was read: "For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first."

Turning his head, Lou continued, "And there aint enough of us left to be talking about splitting in half."

"Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord."

"We cannot fight a war over this." The grey-haired woman in front turned and scowled, forcing Leo and Joey to retreat.

When communion was called, and barely orderly masses thronged into the centre aisle and forward, Joey leaned forward again.

"Maybe we don't gotta fight a war. Maybe we each go our separate ways."

"Sure. Make ourselves even easier pickings for the Pavanos." Franny concluded dryly, staring forward, but listening.

"We could be our own commission," Joey continued, Leo encouraging him, "fight a common enemy, but run our own territories."

Franny turned to Big Lou and gave a look that Big Lou understood. Big Lou half-turned his body to face Leo and Joey, as well as to allow someone to pass in front of him as the communion queue dwindled.

"Listen to me, guys," Lou said a little less quietly, his voice carrying a measure of exasperation. "I don't like this any more than you, but it is what it is." He passed his hand over his face as though to wipe away the discomfort he felt at his own words.

"We'll have two crews. Franny'll get what's coming to him, but we gotta respect that there's only one Capo left standing -- Gino -- and he's gonna be boss."

As Lou finished, the woman in front turned, once more, and, in a shrill, elderly voice of indignation quietly screamed: "Do you mind!" before adding, "Really!" and turning back to the front.

But Leo and Joey sat back anyway. Lou and Franny were right. War would be inevitable as Gino and his crew sought to take back what "belonged" to them. They sat in disappointed silence.

As the mass drew to a conclusion, the Priest, vested in a black cope, stood at the foot of the coffin and granted Jimmy absolution. As a hymn was played, he passed twice around Jimmy's casket sprinkling it in Holy Water and wafting incense, mourning women burst into sorrow-filled wails, and pallbearers came to bear Jimmy from the cathedral as a choir sang.

"May the angels lead you into paradise
"May the martyrs receive you at your coming
"and lead you into the holy city, Jerusalem.
"May the choir of angels receive you, and with Lazarus,
"who once was poor, may you have everlasting rest."

And, as the mourners followed, filing outside as the coffin was placed in the Romero and its rear door closed, they began assembling at the top of the stairs of the Cathedral. Lou noticed a PMP 600 parked conspicuously behind the Romero, and motioned Tommy Tuna and Frankie to follow him to investigate.

-----------------------

As smoke, ash and dust cleared, Big Lou could see the flames dancing around the charred remains of the overturned PMP, Mrs Pegorino's car. He looked at tiny splinters of coloured glass from the rose window of the cathedral that covered him, and noticed the strewn bodies, debris and blood.

"Are you okay?" Al was screaming in front of Big Lou's face for the sixteenth time. It was a whisper the fourteenth time, Lou mused, but was now a foghorn.

"Ahhh," Lou recoiled. "Don't shout, kid, my head's f*ckin ringing like a bell as it is."

"F*ck, Big Lou, you had me worried."

"We lose anyone?"

"They're working on Tuna." The kid waved his arm at the scene of paramedics feverishly pounding on the chest of a beached-whale of a man. "Boss, it was a warning."

Big Lou struggled to his feet and shot Al a half-angry, quizzical look.

"Some kid gave Three Fingers a note before the boom. 'Stay down, Pegorinos', it said." Lou looked over at Franny, Leo, Three Fingers, Lodioso, Joel, Slugger and Whitey discussing it with Motelli. Al continued, "It had a backward 'R'."

"Petrovic."

"Yeah, that's what Franny said." Leo broke from the pow-wow, through paramedics and police to Big Lou.

"You alright there, old man? Need a walker?"

"F*ck you," Lou retorted at Leo's smiling face. Leo got under Lou's left arm as Al carried the right. Lodioso walked over, and, utterly unconcerned with Big Lou's condition, announced that Motelli was calling the family to the recycling plant after the wake at his home.

"Well, last place they'll look for us," Leo conceded as Big Lou shook-off paramedics and regained his feet. As police began arriving en masse, detectives, with their endless questions and vendetta against the family, were bound to be close behind.

Leo, Big Lou and Al evaded police, dusted themselves down and walked back to the car.

I am genuinely interested in feedback. If you'd prefer not to clog the thread, feel free to PM instead.
67 individual characters and counting. So, I won't bother listing them all.

This story earned $43, and the staff comment "Your chapter started off really nice. I could really feel the Godfather style in the beginning of the story."

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Build Up Your Gang
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#1224

Posted 26 July 2009 - 10:06 AM Edited by Build Up Your Gang, 26 July 2009 - 03:38 PM.

aragond:

Your chapter started off really nice. I could really feel the Godfather style in the beginning of the story. Just one thing, it gets a bit confusing with episodes and parts. It would be better if you worked with chapters instead, where one story is an own chapter.

$43.

Rated by Rucke

Omnia sunt Communia
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#1225

Posted 26 July 2009 - 11:17 AM

Can staff members please remember to sign their names when rating or updating BUYG. It is not that I don't trust you but it just eliminates all possibilites of favourability or people marking their own stories.

Rucke
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#1226

Posted 26 July 2009 - 03:37 PM

Sorry I completely forgot blush.gif

Fixed.

aragond
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#1227

Posted 26 July 2009 - 04:29 PM Edited by aragond, 26 July 2009 - 04:44 PM.

QUOTE (Build Up Your Gang @ Jul 26 2009, 20:06)
aragond: Your chapter started off really nice. I could really feel the Godfather style in the beginning of the story. Just one thing, it gets a bit confusing with episodes and parts. It would be better if you worked with chapters instead, where one story is an own chapter.

Thanks for the review, Rucke. icon14.gif

One question, though: "Started off" really nice with "the Godfather style". Specifically where did it ... I want to say "run off the rails", but I don't mean to say that I think you were being critical, 'cuz you weren't smile.gif and I'm the one asking people for feeback, so hit me ... but it's implied that you think it was "less good" further in and what I want to know is where it did run off the rails. colgate.gif At what point did it go wrong and in what way?

Rucke
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#1228

Posted 26 July 2009 - 05:37 PM

QUOTE (aragond @ Jul 26 2009, 17:29)
QUOTE (Build Up Your Gang @ Jul 26 2009, 20:06)
aragond: Your chapter started off really nice. I could really feel the Godfather style in the beginning of the story. Just one thing, it gets a bit confusing with episodes and parts. It would be better if you worked with chapters instead, where one story is an own chapter.

Thanks for the review, Rucke. icon14.gif

One question, though: "Started off" really nice with "the Godfather style". Specifically where did it ... I want to say "run off the rails", but I don't mean to say that I think you were being critical, 'cuz you weren't smile.gif and I'm the one asking people for feeback, so hit me ... but it's implied that you think it was "less good" further in and what I want to know is where it did run off the rails. colgate.gif At what point did it go wrong and in what way?

Nothing was wrong, the thing is that I liked the beginning very much with the cheeks kissing and the smart suits. It felt very much like the Godfather to me. The rest of the story worked out pretty good too, nothing was really wrong.

aragond
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#1229

Posted 26 July 2009 - 06:29 PM Edited by aragond, 27 July 2009 - 02:50 AM.

QUOTE (Rucke @ Jul 27 2009, 03:37)
Nothing was wrong, the thing is that I liked the beginning very much with the cheeks kissing and the smart suits. It felt very much like the Godfather to me. The rest of the story worked out pretty good too, nothing was really wrong.

icon14.gif
Small matter: front-page not yet updated for $ or story-count. No hurry, just in case of some forgetting.... Done.
MUCH Bigger matter: have you returned to the Pegorinos and not yet announced it? happy.gif


Not to be a pain in the a$$, but, following on from an earlier conversation:
QUOTE (Jacky Fiend @ Jul 26 2009, 02:31)
What mark-2007 said about story counts is correct. I mean, he should know, since he was one of the staff members at the time BUYG IV was set up (though he didn't join in till much later). A member's story count should always be set out like the following: Storys for current gang (Total stories)

'Sfine, but Rucke's 40 (10) and ScratchCard's 9 (8) are wrong then (can't have a total less than the current-gang), and I'm kinda pretty sure El Zilcho wrote some 21 chapters for the Torres Cartel, not 12 (as "35 (47)" suggests).

I'm just worried the total numbers haven't been getting updated by all staff for the prolific participants, that not all staff understood that "current (total)" was the rule, is all.

Colt M14
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#1230

Posted 27 July 2009 - 03:02 AM Edited by Colt M14, 27 July 2009 - 11:22 AM.

Sorry for being Semi-active, I've had real life stuff to work with. I'd like to get moved to The south bohan projects for the Spanish Lords. Yep. But can you do it after I've finished my last Lost MC chapter. Thanks.




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