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Algonquin Assassins

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Pr0xy_fl00d3r
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#2641

Posted 05 March 2009 - 07:49 PM

@ El Zilcho: Thanks, now I can screw my wife without some guido motherf*cker whacking off at my window.

El Zilcho
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#2642

Posted 05 March 2009 - 07:51 PM

QUOTE (Pr0xy_fl00d3r @ Mar 5 2009, 19:49)
@ El Zilcho: Thanks, now I can screw my wife without some guido motherf*cker whacking off at my window.

Well, undoubtabley a thing no man should have to do while being watched.

Pr0xy_fl00d3r
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#2643

Posted 05 March 2009 - 08:20 PM

I want to assassinate someone _ everytime I check this thread, theres no work.

El Zilcho
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#2644

Posted 05 March 2009 - 08:22 PM

Don't worry. When OdDsOcK get's back he'll update it and maybe add some new work. For the moment there's my Oleg Lichavich hit 2 pages back, and the Competition hits posted a few minutes ago.

SolidGoldMonkey
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#2645

Posted 05 March 2009 - 08:26 PM

Target: Biker Scum

WARNING: You may need some BIKER Connection (cough, cough). Using certain SERBIAN connections may not give you the ability to find these bikers.

First Target: Hank Kelly

user posted image

Hank angered some very important men when he took a government official and well ensured the official will not be able to have any more kids. The people who want him dead request that this job be done as you ride a bike so It looks like a biker hit. He will have a teardrop tattoo on his left eye. 400$


Second Target: Garfield Mendez

user posted image

Garfield was involved in a street race when he suddenly pulled out a gun and killed two of his opponents. Take him out. 500$


Third target: Speedy

user posted image

Speedy got a tad too drunk one night and hit on a girl. Unfortunately for him that girls boyfriend happened to be one of the biggest drug dealers in Liberty City. He wants it done so that a message is sent. 600$

El Zilcho
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#2646

Posted 05 March 2009 - 08:28 PM

QUOTE (SolidGoldMonkey @ Mar 5 2009, 20:26)
Target: Biker Scum


I'll be on the Competition and these Biker Scum within the hour. I'll leave some for the rest of us though.

Oh, and your parting gifts are most generous SolidGold!

Pr0xy_fl00d3r
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#2647

Posted 05 March 2009 - 08:28 PM

Can I do speedy?

I just dont want to write up and then notice that someone else has done him =/

El Zilcho
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#2648

Posted 05 March 2009 - 08:30 PM

QUOTE (Pr0xy_fl00d3r @ Mar 5 2009, 20:28)
Can I do Hank Kelly?

I just dont want to write up and then notice that someone else has done him =/

Of course. Someone leave Garfield Mendez.

Pr0xy_fl00d3r
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#2649

Posted 05 March 2009 - 08:32 PM

Imma gun do speedy.
/goes to play TLAD

SolidGoldMonkey
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#2650

Posted 05 March 2009 - 08:38 PM

And here is my final parting gift:

Respect Your Elders

I need someone to take down this sick MoFo: user posted image


Why is this seemingly innocent old man a target? Well this "innocent" old man got sick of having to deal with all these biker punks around his building so one day when they were arm wrestling he pulled out a shotgun and well: The carnage is all here.
user posted image
user posted image

My client needs this sick old man taken out for good. The only catch is Photograph proof will be needed for this one.

Reward: 1000$

Infinite Monkey
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#2651

Posted 05 March 2009 - 08:46 PM

If Mendez and Speedy are being catered for, may I have the pleasure of serving Hank? I would hate my first contract after the hiatus to be a "prom night massacre" (if anyone here remembers the term...?)

El Zilcho
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#2652

Posted 05 March 2009 - 08:48 PM

QUOTE (Infinite Monkey @ Mar 5 2009, 20:46)
If Mendez and Speedy are being catered for, may I have the pleasure of serving Hank? I would hate my first contract after the hiatus to be a "prom night massacre" (if anyone here remembers the term...?)

Of course. May the Lost Clubhouse be your very first target upon your return.

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#2653

Posted 05 March 2009 - 08:56 PM Edited by Colt M14, 07 March 2009 - 06:47 AM.

Mr Palmers' Laundry has been washed

edit: The write-up is on the next page, go check it out.

El Zilcho
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#2654

Posted 05 March 2009 - 08:59 PM

QUOTE (Colt M14 @ Mar 5 2009, 20:56)
Mr Palmers' Laundry has been taken out

I have to go to school I'll update this afternoon. And my pictures suck I had a horrible reflection on the tv.

You mean it has been washed? Nice work, I look forward to the writeup, enjoy your lessons! lol.gif

Pr0xy_fl00d3r
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#2655

Posted 05 March 2009 - 09:30 PM

This guy was found in Acter, leaning against a wall behind the Lost clubhouse. He was like "Johnny, my man" lulz.
This is my first "assassination" so feel free to flame me if it sucks.

Biker Scum
I slipped out of my usual Perseus attire and changed into a heavy leather jacket with an "Outlaw" patch written on the back, I wanted to appear as a prospect, It would have looked somewhat suspicious wearing a full patch.
My jeans had rips in the knees, with oil splattered around them. My boots came up just below the knees. I had already shaved my hair and added some fake henna tattoo's, some accross the knuckles, the usual love & hate
and dots on the knuckles showing my hate for the police. I had let my beard grow to a thick stubble and made a cut above my eye, it quickly made a convincing scar. I was frightened of this to say the least as I was
involving myself with outlaws, these people are cold blooded, although I usually make hits on people I have never gone undercover into an outlaw biker gang.

For the past 2 days, I have been drinking heavily within their clubhouse, smoking things that I wish I hadn't, but If I refused, suspiscion would arise.

I made my way over to Speedy, he was drinking what seemed to be single malt whiskey, the guy looked like he was about to pass out.
"Hey man, fancy a drink?" speedy looked at me, one eye was looking at me, the other was looking for me, he had easily had a months worth of units in one night.
"Yeah, I'll have a pint of patriot" he slurred heavily.

After that, we got talking, I hd done some research on chopper-style bikes, so that was the main topic of the evening. I had said that I knew a guy, a guy who could get methn at a heavily cut price.
He seemed interested, he had seemed to, for the first time in the night,
focus less on his alcohol and more on me.
"How much are we talkin?" he said
"Depends how much ya want"
"As much as it takes to knockout a cow Woohoo!!" he slammed his patriot beer down in one and burped.
"So, you interested in a buy?"
"Damn right I am, haha" He put his arm around me and whispered down my ear "Dont tell any of these guys though, they'll want a piece of it"
We went through small details,I gave him a fake name(Dan), I got his number, I never gave him mine, he was too drunk to realise.

The next day, I made a call at around 2pm, he answered, I think I woke him.
"umm hey, who the f*ck is this?"
"Its me Dan, from the bar last night"
"Oh, I remember you...I think, your the meth guy right?" He seemed clearer now.
"Yeah, well the meet is in Broker at 9.00pm, will you be able to make it?"
"f*ck man, thats miles away from Acter...ah, I'll be there, priorities first I guess"
"Ok, its at the docks near the navy yard (Where you excecute Vladimir Glebov)"
"Ok man, cya"

I drive up to the docks in a Presidente, in the boot of the car is a briefcase full of bags, with a crystal meth lookalike in them. I left a baseball bat close to the car, hidden behind a crate. He turns up on a junk heap Diablous,
it seemed pretty aged.

"Hey, you ready?" I said eagerly.
"yeah, wheres the stuff?"
"Wheres the money?"
"Right here" he showed me a sack with about $250 in it"
"Heres the stuff" I opened the boot, showing him the stuff, he leaned in and picked up a bag, opened it and investigated it.

I picked up my bat and swung for him, It crushed against his spine, he yelled, but his screams of agony where common in this part of town. He dropped to his knees, I swung as his head sending him crashing to the ground, blood poured
from his head like a fountain, I began swinging it violently at his upper body, I felt his ribs crushing as the bat tasted his cheap, faux leather jacket. The guy was clearly dead, but I wanted tosend a message to the rest of them hicks.
I stripped him of his jacket, jeans and boots and struggled as I lifted his limp body into the boot of the Presidente. There was a sheet spread out in the car to stop his blood from ruining the interior, I wrapped him in it and watched it soak the blood.

I drove for the next 2 hours to Alderney, parked up in the alleyway of the clubhouse and dumped his body and propped it against a chain link fence to make the impression that he was sitting down. His face was a mask of crimsan, he was in his shirt and his underwear, which
was all soaked in his blood. I left a note in an envelope on his lap. It was in kidnap font, old newspaper clippings. It read "This is what happens when you f*ck with my girl"

This guy shouldn't be a problem to you or your girlfriend anymore.

El Zilcho
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#2656

Posted 05 March 2009 - 09:36 PM

QUOTE (Pr0xy_fl00d3r @ Mar 5 2009, 21:30)
Biker Scum

No flame here my friend. And may I say, that's an excellent piece of work for a first hit. Very well done, with good dialog and professionally executed. You kill well for lawyer!

Pr0xy_fl00d3r
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#2657

Posted 05 March 2009 - 09:37 PM

QUOTE (El Zilcho @ Mar 5 2009, 21:36)
QUOTE (Pr0xy_fl00d3r @ Mar 5 2009, 21:30)
Biker Scum

No flame here my friend. And may I say, that's an excellent piece of work for a first hit. Very well done, with good dialog and professionally executed. You kill well for lawyer!

Lulz, I r no lawyer _
Lets scrap the lawyer thing

El Zilcho
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#2658

Posted 05 March 2009 - 09:40 PM

QUOTE (Pr0xy_fl00d3r @ Mar 5 2009, 21:37)
QUOTE (El Zilcho @ Mar 5 2009, 21:36)
QUOTE (Pr0xy_fl00d3r @ Mar 5 2009, 21:30)
Biker Scum

No flame here my friend. And may I say, that's an excellent piece of work for a first hit. Very well done, with good dialog and professionally executed. You kill well for lawyer!

Lulz, I r no lawyer _
Lets scrap the lawyer thing

Great. A new start. I'll been taking care of Mendez in about 20 mins, and then I'll do 2 Comeptetition hits and leave 3 more for anyone else.

Pr0xy_fl00d3r
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#2659

Posted 05 March 2009 - 09:53 PM

Trouble @ Cluckin' bell
I was in Cerveza heights recently, and to my dismay there was a gang of Spanish Lords blocking the entrance to Clucking Bell, I was unarmed, yet I was pretty hungry, I tried to get through the door untill one of them pushed me into another and stole my I.D., now they know who I am, so I dont fancy getting dirt on my hands. I asked for it back, but one guy punched me in the face and pushed me to the ground where he spat on me and kicked me untill local authorities showed up, who failed to make an arrest. He was wearing a black jacket with a gold chain, he is pretty chubby and is a notorious member of the Spanish Lords. I never got my chicken that day, so I am angry to say the least.

I need this to look like a gang hit, or else, they will know its me. Try and disguise yourself as a member of a rival gang. If possible provide evidence.

Pay regulations
Assassination-$500
With evidence-$1,000

The Kliq
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#2660

Posted 05 March 2009 - 09:59 PM

You get money in the game?

El Zilcho
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#2661

Posted 05 March 2009 - 10:01 PM

QUOTE (The Kliq @ Mar 5 2009, 21:59)
You get money in the game?

No, only here. E.g I've got $14,100. It's only a way to see how many kills you've done.

Infinite Monkey
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#2662

Posted 05 March 2009 - 10:05 PM

QUOTE (SolidGoldMonkey @ Mar 5 2009, 20:26)
Target: Hank Kelly

user posted image

Hank angered some very important men when he took a government official and well ensured the official will not be able to have any more kids. The people who want him dead request that this job be done as you ride a bike so It looks like a biker hit. He will have a teardrop tattoo on his left eye. 400$



So good to be back home again...

On my return, I deemed it prudent to adopt a disguise; not that anyone would be looking for me, you understand, but there would be several interested parties who would be intrigued by the reappearance of "patient 17" presumed vanished along with the mysterious disappearance of flight 7-13.

There was no chance of anyone recognising me as I cruised around the Area of Acter where I knew Hank hung out; I had even seen him already in the bar of the clubhouse where last night I slept -unchallenged- in a in a disused storeroom.

I found him outside the clubhouse taking the air. I eased off the throttle of the heavy chopper I was riding, and mounted the curb. I thudded into him at a non-lethal speed, and slewed the bike round as he sprawled on the floor. I let the clutch out and thumped over his ankles with a crunch. If none of the potential witnesses in the passing traffic wanted to say anything about a this being a "biker hit", I wanted the tyre tracks to speak for themselves.

Kelly was still alive; on all fours, his legs too mangled to stand. His fat rump was in the air...

Part of my disguise involves some new toys; I didn't have my faithful old combat pistol with me, but I did have a sturdy pistol-grip double-barrelled sawn-off shotgun. I like the weapon; it's not designed for use over any kind of distance, instead it necessitates the assassin to get up-close and personal. And Hank -sprawling there with his fat arse in the air- was about to discover just how personal that could be...

I don't know why he chose to have a teardrop tattooed on his face but I certainly made his eyes water before giving him a buckshot enema. I squeezed off both barrels, reducing his internal organs to some kind of indistinguishable mincemeat and then sped off before drawing any unwanted attention.

As I said, gentlemen; it's good to be home...


El Zilcho
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#2663

Posted 05 March 2009 - 10:07 PM Edited by El Zilcho, 05 March 2009 - 10:36 PM.

Mendez The Racer

Garfield Mendez is finished. I found him wearing the same clothes, tattoes, and chains, but he had ever so slightly different hair and a bandana over his mouth. I shot him several times with a 9MM outside the clubhouse when he was on his bike. He died and I left him there, driving away on a Hexer.

Welcome back Infinite, nice work on Hank.

Pr0xy_fl00d3r
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#2664

Posted 05 March 2009 - 10:21 PM

Infinite M, It was a pleasure to read your write up, sheer quality it was. cookie.gif

El Zilcho
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#2665

Posted 05 March 2009 - 10:26 PM

Johnny The D-Bag

I arrived in Westdyke (the home of greaseball with money) and fonud a mafia PMP with three members of the Competition inside. Oh, waht stupidity it was that they traveled so mellow, so relaxed just because they were in their own turf. Had they watched Weasel News or read the Liberty tree, they would pay attention to the sensationalist news of the "Biker Murderer" or the "Suit Serial Killer" and run. But they didn't.

I stood in front of the car, and spotted Johnny in the front passenger seat. I used my Street Sweeper to fill him and his three friends with bullets. The full clip went into the PMP and it caught fire, about to explode I ran away and wathced the greaseballs go up in flames. What a world! I grabbed a Red Presidente and escaped over some residential gardens, leaving the sirens and flames behind.

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#2666

Posted 05 March 2009 - 10:33 PM Edited by El Zilcho, 05 March 2009 - 10:44 PM.

Marco Vesperilli

I found the Capolegire of the Competition in Little Italy wlaking in the direction of City Hall and obviously enjoying the setting sun. I followed him slowly, and patiently until I had a clear shot. The fat man never saw it coming when I fired the automatic pistol into his back and head, sending him flying and dropping his 9MM, a mere cheap toy compared to my weapon.

Sprinting away, I ran down City Hall and right past a cop! He didn't noticed me and into the sunset I ran (well, actually into Chinatown to hide out in a friendly Chinese Triad hotel, but what the hell) I believe the Competition are about over, a few loose ends to type up now.

Wow! That's 9 hits in 2 days! When that update comes, I'll have made a stupid amount of money. Well, I definetly have ot lay back now, leave soem for everyone else. Good luck on your hits Brothers.

Infinite Monkey
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#2667

Posted 06 March 2009 - 01:11 AM Edited by Infinite Monkey, 06 March 2009 - 01:14 AM.

QUOTE (Pr0xy_fl00d3r @ Mar 5 2009, 21:53)
Trouble @ Cluckin' bell
I was in Cerveza heights recently, and to my dismay there was a gang of Spanish Lords blocking the entrance to Clucking Bell, I was unarmed, yet I was pretty hungry, I tried to get through the door untill one of them pushed me into another and stole my I.D., now they know who I am, so I dont fancy getting dirt on my hands. I asked for it back, but one guy punched me in the face and pushed me to the ground where he spat on me and kicked me untill local authorities showed up, who failed to make an arrest. He was wearing a black jacket with a gold chain, he is pretty chubby and is a notorious member of the Spanish Lords. I never got my chicken that day, so I am angry to say the least.

I need this to look like a gang hit, or else, they will know its me. Try and disguise yourself as a member of a rival gang. If possible provide evidence.


The disguise of a biker, while necessary -both for practical purposes and obfuscation for this particular hit- is beginning to feel comfortable.
Certainly, I would like to stroll into Perseus -or one of my old wardrobes in my many safehouses around the city- and slip into my familiar onyx suit, but I am at least grateful to be wearing clothes that do-up at the back, and don't leave my behind flapping in the air-conditioning, like the gowns in the Home for the Bewildered used to.

Arriving at the Clucking Bell, I first entered to check the target was ready and waiting for me. He was standing in the entrance-way chatting with a couple of compatriots. I said and did nothing, just took note of him then left to get back on my bike outside. Some habits never leave you; the first priority of any hit is to plan your Exit Strategy.

I carefully rode the hog up the steps and through the doors; this caused a little consternation among the three men in my path. They clearly thought it wise to leave, and headed past me to the street. I let the first two go, but maneuvered my bike between the mark and the exit, blocking his path and trapping him in the eatery with his associates long gone.

He tried to run when I pulled a gun on him, but there was nowhere he could go. I had him cornered. He had a pistol of his own, but it had barely cleared leather when I fired. I have been exposed to a lot of insane concepts recently while chatting with the residents in the day-room; but a fully automatic pistol that can fire an entire clip in less than a heartbeat? Now that is insanity!

I'd put a dozen bullets in him just by touching the trigger. I even had enough rounds in the clip to fire a decent burst into his lifeless face -just to be sure- and I still hadn't needed to re-load. I ask you, gentlemen, is there really any call for such an unsporting weapon? The mind that created it is still at large, while I have been languishing in a maximum security institution!

That said; presumably the market-forces that demanded it, still roam this world with us, so maybe there is a need for that level of personal protection after all...

I don't know if he had the stolen ID on him, I didn't have time to check as the staff had alerted the police. I took the time to lob a Molotov on the corpse; if he did it is now burnt to ash.

I myself have several identities; all of which are genuine; it is only the documentation which is false.

The cops were at the door; they didn't have a hope of catching me as I burst out of the building with the hog on full throttle...

Pr0xy_fl00d3r
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#2668

Posted 06 March 2009 - 01:18 AM

Wow, thanks, now I dont have to worry about that imbecile next time I want to eat trash from The Cluckin bell.

Oddsock
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#2669

Posted 06 March 2009 - 03:52 AM

I'm going to make this nice and quick:

Infinite Monkey, outstanding to have you back and doing what we all know you for. I hope your identities are on our side.

El Zilcho, take a f*cking break man. Now the front page is "broken" again. I need to find an alternate database...

pr0xy_fl00d3r, welcome to the team. I hope you'll stick around.

SolidGoldMonkey, I'm sorry you have to leave. I can only hope you enjoy your retirement. I'll be sure to deduct pay from all assassins to support your pension. tounge.gif

Colt M14, your failure in killing Ms. Carzao has infuriated our client, but he says he has things under control (whatever that's supposed to mean) and now demands her death, now either through car bomb or long-range assassination. Anyone, make it happen.

Good day (well, for me, night) to you assassins. Keep making a killing.

Colt M14
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#2670

Posted 06 March 2009 - 06:19 AM

Lucy Carzao is (FINALLY) dead

After seeing the message from Brother Oddsock's Client, I relised I had to finish the job I started the week before. Heading towards The industrial area in my Leather Jacket, stonewashed jeans, Red tennis shoes and black sunglasses. Driving on a "Second Hand" Freeway, I made my way to the Hooker area in the photo. Many hours passed. Hookers came and left for hours on end. I thought about what they would do with the money. Buy more skimpy outfits? Never mind, I thought. Looking out I saw one prostitute getting it from a gangster in the alley way. Not wanting to be disgusting I decided to take a break.
Walking out of the building and into the BS across the road I got a nice juicy Bleeder. It made my stomach burn as is slid down my throat. "What do they put in this sh*t!" I Yelled throwing up in the bin.
An old man stared at me like I was flashing myself to everyone. Relising I was embarrassing myself a walked out casually and into the building again.
"Another long night?" A voice came from behind me. I spun around aiming a Desert Eagle between his eyes. It was my great friend who I was staying with while the Russians were on my back. "Danny!" I laughed and grabbed him in a hug. "How are you friend!" I added clapping him on the back.
"Been a long time since you did an assassination, Ay?" He asked.
"Long. Long. LONG TIME." I replied. "But it's been a hard time... After I lost my parents in that crash. And my brother overdosing last year. I needed the money."
"Well, you're going to need this." He answered while listing a case onto a table I had my stuff on. He opened it and lying in there... My Rifle from the war. "How... How did you get this?" I stammered.
"When we were ambushed I gave it to a soldier. When we escaped I grabbed it just in time." He said laughing. "But when I was into drugs I sold it. So not wanting to tell you about my habit I kept the gun a secret."
I frowned at him. He started again "Yesterday I found it in a Pawn Store in Acter." I was still frowning but I looked down at the shiny yet slightly charred barrel. "I think you will need this." Taking it I nearly cried. It was a long war. And when me and my teammates were ambushed we were discharged. I was poor. Now I'm back in the game.
An hour later of talking he left. Walking back to the window I saw her. Right away I felt a surge of anger. She was the one getting the Russians to protect her. Taking my old rifle and placing it on the window, I aimed. The barrel Silky and smooth, yet hard and rough on other bits. Bang. She did a flip and landed on her face. I felt relieved that the person causing so much trouble for me is gone. I went home and ordered some Cluckin' Bell. I was happy yet again.

Photo:user posted image sorry about pic




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