Quantcast

Jump to content

» «
Photo

BUYG: Build Up Your Gang

  • This topic is locked This topic is locked
1,305 replies to this topic
Flesh-n-Bone
  • Flesh-n-Bone

    OG

  • Members
  • Joined: 17 Feb 2008
  • Sweden

#1231

Posted 19 September 2008 - 07:09 PM

OK, here's my 15th story which is 36 in number of brackets. LOL now I'm in a tie with Mark tounge.gif

The Triads, Chapter 15: Till I Can't Burn!


Well I felt that I needed to pay Harry the visit he was expecting me since the last week. I walked out of my house, grabbed one of my Streetfighter's and drove to the docks. "Just in time... It's something very important, the Leone's have kidnapped your friend Kang. So get out there and rescue him, remember that your job for me is not finished, I am forced to give you something else..." Harry said to me as he drove off in his Greenwood with Peter and Ludwig, I yelled loudly "But wait... where?" I asked before he drove off. "Over at Rockford!!!" shouted Ludwig quickly.

I ran back to my Streetfighter and speed up over Callahan Bridge. I made it over the fastest I could and found myself around Bedford Point as I slowed down on a ramp. A Leone Sentinel started to come after me but I continued to speed up and finally reached a private base in Rockford, but I eventually saw a helicopter flying above me and heading somewhere else. "He must be in that chopper..." I said to myself, I decided to follow it below and see where it goes. The chase was peaceful and no gunshots from either the chopper or me. The chopper landed at top of a construction site in Fort Staunton and dropped off Kang. I decided to get up on the lift that leads me up and prepare my AK-47. When on one of the top buildings in the construction site I saw several pistol-wielding Leone's attacking me, I was wearing a body armor and killed them without much problem.

Unluckily I ran out of ammo and was forced to pickup the pistols dropped by the dead Leone's. I loaded my handgun and fired at everybody I saw. I found a Desert Eagle hidden behind a box and picked it up. "Damn I'll deal with it..." I thought to myself and went up some stairs. I actually saw Kang beaten-up. I decided to call Harry for backup. I first talked to Kang and see how he is then called Harry. "Hey Kang, how are you, I've come to save you!" I said to him. Then I called Harry quickly and spoke to him. "HARRY! Thank god you picked up, look I finally got Ka' and I'm on top of some construction site in Fort Staunton, we need a lift out of here as soon as possible, more Leone's will come any second now." I said on the phone. "OK, you boys look down the roof and see if a Greenwood will pull up, I'm in a bulletproof car, see how it is in a few minutes, then run up and get ready." Harry replied, "But wait bring some AK with you because I've run out..." I reminded him with.

I hung up and after a few minutes of wait, Kang looked very beaten up and not felt very good, we made it downstairs and so Harry's car eventually came and I helped Kang get inside, I ran into the passenger seat and let Kang in the backseat then Harry started to drive. "sh*t how are you Ka' you don't look so good.." Harry said to Kang. "Let's take you to a hospital, we better take him back to Portland, because here we wont make it too fast." I told Harry.

After a peaceful drive, luckily no Leone cars chased and so we arrived in the hospital at Portland. "sh*t I will come and pick you up when your better, then gimme a call, ok?" I told Kang as he walked slowly towards the hospital injured. "Boy, your a lunatic - come back sometime later I have more work for you." Harry said as he praised me. I told him to take me home as I lost one of my bikes. When arriving at home I decided to watch the TV and it had hot news about the Leone's kidnapping of Kang.

Build Up Your Gang
  • Build Up Your Gang

    Join BUYG Today!

  • Members
  • Joined: 24 Mar 2008

#1232

Posted 20 September 2008 - 07:50 AM

----------

marlord911:

-Tear Gas
+Grenades

----------

Flesh-n-Bone:

+$29

----------

-Stefan.

Stefan.
  • Stefan.

    OG

  • Members
  • Joined: 28 Oct 2006

#1233

Posted 20 September 2008 - 08:50 AM

----------

CHAPTER 2: THE BEATING

7:04
Thursday 1st April 1993
Jefferson, San Andreas


I rubbed my baseball bat slowly; the polish sparkled in the light like a lake in the sun. My leg was not in as much pain as before; I didn't feel as drowsy as well. The coffee must have put my 'gear into drive', because I felt like I needed to get back at the Groves, not just any time... but now.

After a few minutes of silence, I let my inner deviant out as I grabbed my purple bandanna off the desk and wrapped it around my head. I picked up my baseball bat, and quickly ran out of the house. The nearest Grove territory was down the road in Idlewood, so I quickly broke into a sprint; those Grove bastards didn't have long to live.

It turned out that I'm not as good of a runner as I was back in the day, so as I reached the bottom of the bridge, I took a second to catch my breath, when I saw a Grove walking out of a warehouse in an alley on the other side of the street. He looked high, which would make for an easy target, and he was walking the other way so I could perform my killing stealthily.

My walking speed would easily be faster than his. Within seconds, I was right behind his arse, so I slowly raised my gleaming baseball bat and struck it across the back of his skull. I could hear it cracking as he fell to the ground instantaneously. His body lay there silently, as blood started to trickle out of the small cut across the back of his head. Yes, I thought to myself, that's it. That's all I wanted. I had done it; I finally killed a Grove, and I'm going to get away with it.

"Hey man, what the f*ck is this sh*t?" I heard from behind. I turned around, and I saw a tall, muscly African American man, wearing a tight white tank top, beige trousers and a green do-rag over his head. He had a large cross chain dangling from his neck, and his sharp hairs on his chin looked as if they could stab someone. "You think you can mess with a Grove on our turf, huh motherf*cker?" I asked as he started to walk towards me while reaching into his right pocket and pulling out a Colt .45. "You're going to die, c*nt," he said as I dropped my baseball bat and ran. I ran as fast as I could, expecting to feel the bullets rip through my back, but nothing. I turned around quickly to see what was going on... turns out he was still loading. I decided to run further, eventually reaching the street. Oh f*ck, I thought. I forgot to call for reinforcements! Sh*t! I really am f*cked this time, however I didn't have time to complain, so I just decided to find the nearest car.

The nearest car was in a car park for the Idlewood motel, which was located behind the Well Stacked Pizza. Hehe, I thought to myself, some idiot left it unlocked, and left the keys in the ignition. I got in the dirty, red Virgo, turned on the ignition, and did a burnout on the spot as I sped off back to Ballas turf. My job was done; I had killed a Grove, however, I'll probably have a bounty over my head from the Groves, so I had to tread carefully from now on.

----------

Build Up Your Gang
  • Build Up Your Gang

    Join BUYG Today!

  • Members
  • Joined: 24 Mar 2008

#1234

Posted 20 September 2008 - 08:57 AM

---------

It's Saturday, so it's time for CONFISCATIONS.

The gangs up for confiscation this week are the Diablos, the SouthSide Hoods, and the Leone Family Mafia.

The Diablos have had their Tec-9 taken away from them.

The SouthSide Hoods have had their AK-47 taken away from them.

The Leone Family Mafia have had their Sniper Rifle taken away from them.

See you next week! (Don't forget to mark my story above)

----------

Flesh-n-Bone
  • Flesh-n-Bone

    OG

  • Members
  • Joined: 17 Feb 2008
  • Sweden

#1235

Posted 20 September 2008 - 04:26 PM

Alright, I didn't want to deal because of the days confiscations but now I've avoided it. My today story will be about me buying 1,000 pills of MDMA (ECSTASY) for $2,500. My gang is the second "richest" on the table below VLA, lol.

The Triads, Chapter 16: The Deal IV


Kang phoned me earlier today from the hospital and said he's coming out in 5 days, but he got some dealers that I would buy some drugs from today, as angry I have been on dealing so much I decided to be nice and take the deal. Like always I changed my clothes to something good-looking and walked out towards our Greenwood.

Three of my Triads were waiting for me to get in. They were having AK's brought with molotovs and I did the same.
The dealers were at the docks and waiting only for five minutes. We shortly arrived there before the limit and the dealers this time wore Hawaiian shirts and cowboy hats. They were pretty kind and we made the exchange in peace. "Hey ese... here's the stuff, thank you." said one of them with Latin accent. Luckily no Leone's and no cops were around.

We also made it back to our fish factory in peace as well. The Greenwood was driven inside and the drugs stashed in a 'special' room. The keys to it were left with me and so I took the Greenwood and drove home.

To assure everything was safe I called Kang. "Hey Ka' we got the deal, the drugs are stashed inside our factory, I'll make sure they're given away with a good profit." I said to him "Also if you find out about any buyers then tell Harry to call me, I'll pick you up soon..." I continued and hung up.

Today was pretty peaceful and so I relaxed on my sofa.

Trouble
  • Trouble

    High Roller

  • Members
  • Joined: 10 Aug 2008

#1236

Posted 20 September 2008 - 06:50 PM

I want to buy a knife for my next story

mark-2007
  • mark-2007

    Big Homie

  • The Connection
  • Joined: 09 Apr 2006

#1237

Posted 21 September 2008 - 02:02 AM

We gots a new staff member: Jacky Fiend.

A good writer, and full of good ideas too, big up braddah!

Build Up Your Gang
  • Build Up Your Gang

    Join BUYG Today!

  • Members
  • Joined: 24 Mar 2008

#1238

Posted 21 September 2008 - 02:12 AM Edited by Build Up Your Gang, 21 September 2008 - 02:41 AM.

Grove Street Families
    Knife
    $1627 - $7 = $1627
updated by JackyFiend

---

Thank you to Mark for the warm welcome. Just to let everyone know, I will be mainly focusing on BUYG IV for now. Though I will be in here quite often rating stories and whatnot.

EDIT:

---

Stefan
Ballas
2nd story
$41
$247 + $41= $288

A nice chapter, quite action-packed. However, it could do with a little bit of lengthening, nothing major, just I'd like to read more of a story like that.

---

Flesh-n-Bone
The Triads
$24
$3485 + $24 = $3509

Really too short. You were just beginning to become a good writer, but a story that length is just taking the piss. Add a lot more length. As a minimum, you should be looking for about what Stefan had.
1000 pills of MDMA purchased

$2500
$3509 - $2500 = $1009


---

The Crime Desk


A recent DEA investigation into the activity of a notorious Chinese gang working out of Belly-Up Fish Factory in Portland has lead to what local law enforcement spokesman deemed a "Huge success and a major step forward in the fight against the rising crime rate of this great city."

A DEA convoy stopped a Greenwood driving through the Atlantic Quays area. Two Chinese men, who surrendered without incident, were arrested for possession of firearms. Upon further inspection and, as was hoped, the DEA agents discovered a quantity of the drug MDMA, more commonly known as Ecstasy, in the boot. In total, 1000 pills were confiscated, believed to have a street value of around $7500. The firearms, both Colt .45s, were taken in as evidence and the Greenwood was compounded.


---

Sorry Flesh, but you've been abusing the drugs system. They're not their too make increasing amounts of money. They're their too add something to your story, rather than take away. You've been working your way up to the real drug money-makers, which isn't supposed to happen. The whole point in this is to be rewarded for your writing, rather than buying drugs all the time to sell and make money. That negates the whole point of the topic, and has taken something out of your story since they're often so short when involving drug deals. Hate to make an example of you to others, but it had to be. In lieu of this, the drug rules are in need of a major overhaul.

---

you've just been bitched by mark-2007

radicell
  • radicell

    Arsenal Fan

  • BUSTED!
  • Joined: 30 Jun 2007

#1239

Posted 21 September 2008 - 09:41 AM

Welcome to the staff, Jacky. smile.gif

Flesh-n-Bone: Greed gets to everyone sooner or later. It happened to Gantons Most Wanted, and Skimask101. But I suggest you follow the footsteps of Skimask101, who continued writing fair stories. BUYG is not only about the money, it's about a community that's here to help everyone with their writing skills. smile.gif

Flesh-n-Bone
  • Flesh-n-Bone

    OG

  • Members
  • Joined: 17 Feb 2008
  • Sweden

#1240

Posted 21 September 2008 - 10:52 AM Edited by Flesh-n-Bone, 21 September 2008 - 01:58 PM.

Alright then... I should have at least been PM'ed to do something. OK then I might switch to another gang soon, with the Triads it didn't work out with all the effort. Here is an outro where my character is killed. It is only to finish my short messed up storyline.

My next step is a choice between Vercetti gang, Forelli family, Southside Hoods, Diablos or Colombian Cartel. One of these many gangs.



The Triads, Chapter 17: Last Words


Our factory was raided, two of my friends got arrested and we lost lots of product. All of that because of that moron Kang. I was going to take him out inside the hospital because of all the anger and step towards a suicide because of this. I had a Streetfighter left at my garage. But first of all I gave Harry a call about what I would be doing today.

"Hey Harry... you wont hear about me anymore, peace." I quickly said and hung up my phone. Harry tried to call me back and I didn't pick the phone up. I decided to change my clothes into a white t-shirt and jeans pants. Then I walked out and took my Streetfighter and drove to the hospital. I decided to hide my Desert Eagle inside my pocket and so reached the inside. While walking around inside the hospital I found a pair of doctor clothes. I put them on and went to Kang's room. He was there and started to get better. In this final confrontation I had a long argument with him talking about all the stuff that happened which were all his fault.

"Hey... Kang, I'm coming to get rid of you prick. You destroyed me, you ruined our whole front... the DEA raided us yesterday, our f*ckin' drugs were taken... we lost some guys, two were arrested... AND WE LOST A CAR AND LOADS OF WEAPONS....." I started to shout at him angrier after each sentence.
"No... no.. please don't do that, I was told that we'll be getting out of this but we were set up. Please don't shoot me...." he replied slowly as his heart was starting to bump.
"I don't give a f*ck no more about anyone, I don't care if the cops are gonna kill me... but you had your chance and I don't want to hear about drugs anymore.... ASSHOLE!" I said to him angrily with frustration as I started to point my gun towards his head.
"NO!" he started to shout as I silenced him.
"There go you... you betraying f*ck!" I shouted as I killed him.

Everybody in the hospital was alerted and a lot of people waiting were heard screaming outside of Kang's room and some tried to call the cops but I ruthlessly went out of the room and shoot everybody who tried to alert the police. Actually somebody told the police about the things and I heard police car alarms closing in.
A cop went through the door and pointed his gun at me...
"Your dead... Police... STOP RIGHT THERE!" shouted one of the cops.

They surrounded me from each route and I had no choice but to kill as many as I could. I was shot badly and injured afterward, I almost started to lay down but a few cops shoot me badly and I was.... dead!

[From hospital's point of view.]

Harry was ringing the phone but nobody was picking up.



Here ends my short storyline with the death of my own character. For now, rate this story, keep my story count in case I might return to the Triads and drop me off. I feel humiliated, lol.

Trouble
  • Trouble

    High Roller

  • Members
  • Joined: 10 Aug 2008

#1241

Posted 21 September 2008 - 02:42 PM Edited by Trouble, 21 September 2008 - 05:52 PM.

Here is my 10th story and I get a free weapon under 150$ and I want a silenced 9mm please.

-----------------------------------------------


Grove Street Families
Chapter 10-Stealth

6:45 PM


I was at Cesar’s house and he was telling me how I was going to the Rifa warehouse.
Basically what I needed to do was catching a train from Unity Station, go to San Fierro , enter the warehouse in Garcia, avoid detection and destroy whatever they have in there.
Cesar’s also told me if I got detected, most probably there will be cops all over the place, he let a car in a garage at Doherty to escape or take a train back if undetected.
“Here homie, take my silenced pistol and do whatever it takes to don’t get caught”Said Cesar to me.
I left Cesar’s house and waited at Unity station for the next train to Cranberry station.
I entered the train and got out at Cranberry station, I toked the Savanna in the garage at Doherty to don’t go all the way there on foot.
It was already night, I parked the car not to far away from the warehouse.
There was no one guarding the door, I looked to one of the windows but there were boxes inside and didn’t let me look, I tried the backdoor but it was locked.
“Sh*t, what am I going to do?”I said to my self.
There was a ladder close to some containers, I picked it up and climbed it to the roof of the warehouse.There was some windows there and I could see the warehouse from inside, there was some rifa gang members there and lots of boxes,there was no one close to the main door so I got back on the ground and slowly opened the door to don’t make any noise.I was now inside the warehouse, I hide behind the boxes and used my knife to open it to see what was inside. Drugs, lots of drugs.
I heard some steps getting close to me, and a Rifa gang member showed up, I was impressed how he didn’t see me, I quickly grabbed him by is back and killed him whit my knife,I let is dead body in a corner so no one see it.I cleaned my knife in is clothes and continued exploring the warehouse.
Always hiding behind boxes and crates, I heard some guys talking on front of the crates I was hiding.
I had to make something draw their attentions on.I pushed a box on the top of the pile so they get distracted and attack them from the back.When the box hit the floor they picked it up and put the things inside again,I picked up the silenced pistol and the knife to kill them at the same time.One of them I shoot him whit the pistol and the other I cut is throat with the knife.
I was close to the end of the warehouse and there was a office in the end and two Rifa’s guarding the door.
“That must be the last of them”I said.
I didn’t had any ideas to get inside but there was a door in the other side of the office and crates to help me continue undetected.In the last corner there was a security camera.
“I can shoot it, but I hope it doesn’t make to much noise.”I said.
I aimed to it and shoot, it didn’t make much noise so I continued.I opened the office side door, there was no one inside but I could see the two guards outside it.I shoot them both in the head, don’t giving them time to press the alarm.
Now I needed to get reed of the boxes and crates containing the drugs.
There was a match on a table there.
“I can burn this sh*t whit that but it will take to long.Damn I should take some molotovs."I said.
I started looking for something in the office, and I found a big container in there whit grenades inside.
“That’s what I was talking about!”I said.
I picked them up and headed to the main door to escape after deploying all the grenades.
I quickly opened all of them and trow them has far I could to the other side of the warehouse, and started running to the car.
It was a huge explosion, and I got to get out of San Fierro before get in to trouble.
I waited at Cranberry station for the train to Unity Station like anything happened.
I was back in Los Santos and I entered Cesar’s house.
“Hey homie!”I said to Cesar.
“Your back! So, how did it go?”Cesar asked.
“It was good, I stayed undetected all the time and found some grenades in there...You know what happened.”I said to Cesar.
“Cool holmes, thanks for helping me out.”Said Cesar.
“Yeah, thanks. Here is you pistol back, it did a sweet job.”I said.
“You can keep it, it’s all yours homie”Cesar said.
“Thanks man, really. I have to go now, I'm tired.”I said to Cesar.
“Ok man, whenever you need my help you know Im here”Said Cesar.
I got back home and go to sleep and wait for the next day.

------------------

Again, I ain't at The Johnson House, Im at Sweet's.

Build Up Your Gang
  • Build Up Your Gang

    Join BUYG Today!

  • Members
  • Joined: 24 Mar 2008

#1242

Posted 21 September 2008 - 08:42 PM Edited by Build Up Your Gang, 21 September 2008 - 09:50 PM.

Flesh-n-Bone
The Triads
    17th Story (38th):
    +$30
    Too short, and lacking in description. Everything just goes "I did this and then did this" there's no buffer between the words. As for the plot itself, it's very weak.
    $1009 + $30 = $1039
Trouble
Grove Street Families
    10th Story:
    +$25
    The formatting really hurts my eyes, please fix that in the future. As for the story itself; it lacks description, badly. You're just listing actions and expecting people to work out the image in their heads. Adjectives, adjectives, adjectives!
    $1620 + $25 = $1645
    Multiple Of Five Story Bonus:
    $1645 + $100 = $1745
    Silenced 9MM Added
rated and updated by Jacky Fiend

Flesh-n-Bone
  • Flesh-n-Bone

    OG

  • Members
  • Joined: 17 Feb 2008
  • Sweden

#1243

Posted 21 September 2008 - 10:01 PM

Well you can clearly understand that only means I'm dropping out, but keep my story count in case I'd ever want to return.

For now I'm out of the game.

Stefan.
  • Stefan.

    OG

  • Members
  • Joined: 28 Oct 2006

#1244

Posted 22 September 2008 - 04:51 AM

QUOTE (Flesh-n-Bone @ Sep 22 2008, 08:01)
Well you can clearly understand that only means I'm dropping out, but keep my story count in case I'd ever want to return.

For now I'm out of the game.

I think it's best to keep your name there, and when you change/come back, we can make the necessary changes.

Flesh-n-Bone
  • Flesh-n-Bone

    OG

  • Members
  • Joined: 17 Feb 2008
  • Sweden

#1245

Posted 22 September 2008 - 03:40 PM

OK, I've decided to first write a number of 20 stories for the Triads and then switch to the Diablos at Hepburn Heights or Vercetti Gang at the mansion. If things go well I might still stay as a writer for Triads.

I was only pissed off because at this raid I was taken away the drugs, a car AND a weapon. How come I'm the only one who always get so many bad raids, when I was at Grove Street a total of 4 weapons were taken away and now I got this crap at me. However, here's my 18th story.


The Triads, Chapter 18: Wake Up!


... I just woke up and saw myself inside a dark room. I started to speak to myself, "sh*t, what's going on? Where am I, what has happened?" I screamed to myself. Suddenly somebody opened the door to the room I was locked inside and came. "Hey, you have waken up? Did you kill Kang? I think you were effected by some ecstasy pills the other day and after a raid you felt dead inside the hospital." the one talking to me happened to be a doctor and he told me all this inside the dark.
"What are you talking about? Where am I...." I said as I was looking over myself inside the room and had no idea what had happened "Who are you... where am I.... what's happening out here?" I continued my sentence with as I looked pretty confused. "Calm down. The other day you guys were raided here inside and lost lots of product. Then you went to the hospital in Portland View and killed your boss Kang, cops pulled up and you were shoot badly, but a doctor inside there actually saved you..." the doctor said in this long unfinished sentence as he smiled upon me "You have been affected by the drugs taken away and so you didn't know what happened." the doctor continued. "I don't know what you talking about... who's Kang, and where am I..." I said as I started to cough. "Relax. Your inside the Triads fish factory. We here take care of you, you've slept for a week and need to calm down for a while until your out of the drugs." the doctor continued saying to me. "And by the way, a friend of yours called your phone but nobody picked up. He's now in a hiding but has not revealed himself." the doctor continued putting out his details.

I had no idea about anything and my brain was rather empty and everything I actually knew has gone. I didn't even know my own name. I had forgotten everything I knew before. A few other guys later came inside the room inside the factory and I had no idea what was going on. They decided to escort me back home and give me a break to lay low. I then got a call from someone I had forgotten about. I decided to pick up and answered "Hey!" I said on the phone, "Hey it's Harry, I heard all about the things you said but for now you need to lay low." the unnamed on the phone said, I happened to remember his voice but everything I knew about had been forgotten. I then afterward took a break on my bed at home and slept.

Omnia sunt Communia
  • Omnia sunt Communia

    Tierra Y Libertad

  • Members
  • Joined: 12 Aug 2008
  • None

#1246

Posted 23 September 2008 - 01:11 AM

The Yakuza at Hyaku Dojo
Chapter Eight: Dropjaw

Hajime regained consciousness several hours later. Spreading his eyelids against the will of his entire body he slowly absorbed the bright rays of light that pieced his window blinds. He was struck moments later by a throbbing sensation in the rear of his skull, causing him to cradle his head in the palm of his hand like a mother cradles her new-born child. He ran his tongue across his cracked, dry lips moistening them and flavouring the bitter remnants of last night's events.

Pushing himself upwards with his free hand Hajime sat upright between his duvet and mattress, he began studying the surrounding area, as to prove to himself that he was in fact at home, in his bed. After verifying his whereabouts with his own conscious, albeit sleepy, mind he painfully made his way onto his feet shaking unsteady backwards and forwards as he fought against gravity for control of his balance.

With his hand still planted firmly on the top of his head, Hajime stumbled towards the bathroom. He fell forward and planted his hands on the cold ceramic rim of the sink, the cooling affect of the ice-like structure sending a prominent wake-up call through his body. Straining his neck upwards he glanced at himself in the mirror and scowled disapprovingly at the image that stared back at him.

"I think I'll stick to sake next time," he muttered in a gruff tone. Clearing his throat he turned his attention to the small shower cubicle that stood in the corner of the room. Sliding open the clear glass door he leaned in and turned on the spray, covering his head in a downpour of icy cold water before he had a chance to pull himself back out.

Hajime emerged from the bathroom several minutes later, water running down his stick-like frame. A damp towel clung to his equator feverishly held together by Hajime's tight grip. He threw his head back and ran his fingers through his long brown hair. He let out a sigh of relief as he banished the germs that once rid his body to the dank depths of the Liberty City sewage system.

Before the moistened mobster had time to dress himself a loud vibrating noise hurled itself from across the room. Hajime dashed towards the source, quickly grabbing the mobile and hitting the pick-up button immediately, without stopping to check who it was. He held the device to his ear and spoke into it loudly, and confidently.

"Hello?"

"Hajime? Is that you?"

Hajime paused for a moment. He did not recognise the man's voice. He was defiantly not a member of The Yakuza, due to his thick American accent and lack of manners.

"Who is this?" Hajime responded.

"I'm Jimmy O'Malley," he explained, "I am an associate of your 'Oyabun', is it? Anyway, he told me that you were the person I needed to talk to if I wanted things done in this city."

"How do I know you're really who you say you are, Mr. O'Malley?" Hajime responded with a sharp tongue and strong distrust.

"Believe me if you want, whatever, there's hundreds more people in this city who do exactly the same thing you do; for less. f*cking punk-ass chink."

Hajime's blood boiled inside his veins. He growled violently down the phone and barked uncontrollably at Jimmy: "You son of a bitch! Either you tell me what you want right now, or I'll come down there and kill you myself!"

"Woah! Woah! Calm down, pal," Jimmy's tone suddenly changed as he began to realise the potential danger he was in, "I just need to you, ahem, 'take care' of a few trouble-makers for me. Can you do that?"

"How much?" Hajime rallied immediately.

"Fifteen hundred?"

"f*ck you!"

"Okay, okay, three-thousand; but that's my final offer," Jimmy said, defeated, "I run a bar down in Portland. A few of my regulars are refusing to pay their tabs. Now I want you to go down there and waste those worthless f*cks. Once you've done that, steal their car and bring it back to me. Understand?"

"Understood," Hajime said. He discussed the details with Jimmy before putting the phone down and getting dressed ready for his next mission. Donning his usual attire of a black, unfastened suit and white shirt Hajime equipped himself with his trademark MAC-10 and katana, placing the former in the holster attached to his chest. Finalising his image he exited his apartment and made his way towards Portland.

Arriving at his destination, Hajime brought the red and white Stinger to a halt. Leaving the engine running he stepped out and walked slowly along the sidewalk towards a small huddle of men positioned at the corner of two roads. They were talking mindless dribble about nothing and everything until one of the group noticed Hajime approaching.

"Can I help you?" he queried in a annoyed tone.

"Which of you lot are Patrick and Trent?"

"That's me," Patrick announced angrily, expecting a fight, "And this is Trent."

"Jimmy says you don't need to worry about your tabs anymore," Hajime explained. He pulled his katana from behind him and quickly unsheathed it before swinging it violently at the pair. He narrowly avoided the rest of the group but managed to embed the blade deep in Trent's neck. Hajime placed his other hand on the hilt of the sword and pulled it out sharply, letting a jolt of blood shoot from the dead man's artery.

"Holy f*ck man!" Patrick shouted as he watched Trent gargle uncontrollably on his own blood as he fell to the floor grasping his neck. Hajime set his eyes on him next and dashed forwards towards the lowlife. Fear set Patrick's body to autopilot, causing him to strike out randomly at the Yakuza. He landed a solid punch across Hajime's jawline, causing him to loose his sword in the process. The large blade clattered to the floor as Patrick stood in awe at what he had just done.

Hajime stepped back and admired the patron's dumb luck. A deranged smirk crept across his lips as he met Patrick's eyes with a killer glare. "You're quite the feisty one," Hajime grinned, "This will be even more fun than I expected!"

Reaching in to his suit jacket, Hajime wrapped his fingers around his MAC-10 and felt a surge of power overcome his body. Slowly pulling it out into the open, he began to cackle menacingly. "Try and save yourself now!"

He pulled the gun from it's holster and took aim at Patrick. Squeezing off a quick burst of ammunition he sent the man flying to the ground in a hail of bullets. A pool of blood quickly amassed around his dying corpse as Hajime slowly made his way over to the lowlife. Picking up his katana from where he dropped it, The Yakuza stood over the cadaver and scowled.

He raised the blade above his head and drew it to the ground with great force. The sword severed Patrick's neck, separating his body and head. Crimson life juice flooded from the freshly opened wound adding to the preexisting puddle that surrounded him. Rumaging around in his pockets, he pulled out a pair of car keys. Hajime wiped the blood from the katana and returned it to it's sheath.

Paying no more attention to the decomposing cadavers, Hajime casually headed for Patrick and Trent's car. Opening the door he got behind the steering wheel. Starting the engine he reversed out of the road and left behind two rotting corpses and a group of drop-jawed bystanders.

___


This was originally meant to be a 'short' story just to get me back into BUYG. I think I went a bit over the top. tounge.gif

Stefan.
  • Stefan.

    OG

  • Members
  • Joined: 28 Oct 2006

#1247

Posted 23 September 2008 - 09:59 AM

QUOTE (Flesh-n-Bone @ Sep 23 2008, 01:40)
I was only pissed off because at this raid I was taken away the drugs, a car AND a weapon. How come I'm the only one who always get so many bad raids, when I was at Grove Street a total of 4 weapons were taken away and now I got this crap at me. However, here's my 18th story

It serves you right for abusing the drugs system. confused.gif

Flesh-n-Bone
  • Flesh-n-Bone

    OG

  • Members
  • Joined: 17 Feb 2008
  • Sweden

#1248

Posted 23 September 2008 - 12:50 PM

QUOTE (Stefan. @ Sep 23 2008, 11:59)
QUOTE (Flesh-n-Bone @ Sep 23 2008, 01:40)
I was only pissed off because at this raid I was taken away the drugs, a car AND a weapon. How come I'm the only one who always get so many bad raids, when I was at Grove Street a total of 4 weapons were taken away and now I got this crap at me. However, here's my 18th story

It serves you right for abusing the drugs system. confused.gif

Abusing? Sorry I never knew we are not supposed to buy drugs and they are there only to trick us into death traps. Within 2 more stories I'm leaving the Triads to another gang.

mark-2007
  • mark-2007

    Big Homie

  • The Connection
  • Joined: 09 Apr 2006

#1249

Posted 23 September 2008 - 04:01 PM

QUOTE (Flesh-n-Bone @ Sep 23 2008, 13:50)
QUOTE (Stefan. @ Sep 23 2008, 11:59)
QUOTE (Flesh-n-Bone @ Sep 23 2008, 01:40)
I was only pissed off because at this raid I was taken away the drugs, a car AND a weapon. How come I'm the only one who always get so many bad raids, when I was at Grove Street a total of 4 weapons were taken away and now I got this crap at me. However, here's my 18th story

It serves you right for abusing the drugs system. confused.gif

Abusing? Sorry I never knew we are not supposed to buy drugs and they are there only to trick us into death traps. Within 2 more stories I'm leaving the Triads to another gang.

You were working your way up buying and selling in consecutive stories, and had been doing it for a while. It was a harsh punishment, and I might think about lessening it (not by much), but it was fair I think, and sets a good example to others too.

Flesh-n-Bone
  • Flesh-n-Bone

    OG

  • Members
  • Joined: 17 Feb 2008
  • Sweden

#1250

Posted 23 September 2008 - 05:58 PM Edited by Flesh-n-Bone, 23 September 2008 - 06:22 PM.

Why making me an example? It was probably going to be the last one once I got rid of the 1000 pills. Because 7 and a half thousand is enough for buying the stuff i was looking for. But now it didn't work out... f*ck it.

Story f*cking 19 here.



The Triads/Chapter 19: Nothing Left...

After a few tough days had gone the lost facts were mostly recovering in my brain and I was starting to recognize things. I remembered about Kang, Harry, the Triads, our factory and our beloved Greenwood. Somebody started knocking my door, I told whoever it was to come in and take a seat.
"Come in." I said to whoever it was behind the door.
"Alright, I'm comin'." said an unfamiliar voice.

It turned out to be a Triad who had waited for me and had an unfortunate set needing to be taken care of.

"Hey I was called by some man from the police station, they said they need you to go there now. I'll give you a ride, come on." said the Triad to me. I was pretty mad and was wondering what had happened actually.

"Damn it - come on I must get there because I have nothing left anymore." I replied and we both headed outside.

In our fish van we started to drive towards the police station near Trenton. The city was completely dull and not much noise compared to the usual Liberty City. We eventually reached the police station and I walked inside. A cop searched through my clothes and no guns or anything violent was discovered. I headed inside with two cops escorting behind me.

Once I reached the room I was requested a couple of cops and a worker sitting down waiting for me.

"Hello, sit down - what's your name?" said the cop as he was smoking a cigarette.

"I don't know...." I replied and funnily enough I had forgotten my own name.

"Don't play stupid, but oh well - I heard you were injured and driven crazy because of your... friend who was inside the hospital and got killed by you." said the cop as he was looking at some papers in front of him.

"Well I've forgotten all I got after I was fast asleep for a week. Now what do you want with me?" I said and asked them.

"Wooah. Easy. We just need to ask you a few questions..." replied the cop as he started to smile.

"Look I ain't got time for this. I ain't got time to stress. Just tell me what you want and finish me off." I said and started to get a little bit angry.

"Right, who is your police friend, he's been breaking the law and we need to get hold of him." asked the cop first as he was looking for Harry.

After a while of thinking I decided to keep it secret, "Look - I don't have any memories I forgot about everyone I've ever f*ckin known and I don't ever want to come back to life, do me a favor and shoot me." I said angrily and I looked kinda tired.

"Relax. You need to take it easy, now I'll leave it there but who requested the drugs you were raided with. The very same day you went to the hospital and violently caused a lot of chaos and after being shot severely by other cops you were saved." replied the cop to me, he seemed kinda laid back.

"I don't have no time, leave me now or I'll do something to get you down." I yelled at the cop.

I started to get bored of this and decided to not answer any questions correctly. The cops left me and took me outside where my Triad was waiting.
"How did it go?" asked the Triad me.

"I don't even care, I lost all I wanted - now I only want to die." I replied with my pissed off face.

The Triad took me home in his fish van and I was given the opportunity to take it easy for another week. Things didn't even feel close to how it would be with Kang and our money but now everything was f*cked up and we were left with nothing but me. Wong had completely escaped and I didn't hear a single voice from him, I was supposedly coming to lead the Triads but that was never my job. I went on the sofa and relaxed to clean my mind.

Omnia sunt Communia
  • Omnia sunt Communia

    Tierra Y Libertad

  • Members
  • Joined: 12 Aug 2008
  • None

#1251

Posted 23 September 2008 - 06:08 PM

QUOTE (Flesh-n-Bone @ Sep 23 2008, 17:58)
Why making me an example?

Because you were the only one doing it.

Build Up Your Gang
  • Build Up Your Gang

    Join BUYG Today!

  • Members
  • Joined: 24 Mar 2008

#1252

Posted 23 September 2008 - 07:51 PM Edited by Build Up Your Gang, 23 September 2008 - 07:55 PM.

Hello again,

---

Flesh-n-Bone
The Triads
18th (39th) story
$26
$1039 + $26 = $1065

Very unorganised, almost impossible to make sense of with the dialogue.
19th (40th) story
$35
$1065 + $35 = $1100
Multiple of five bonus
$100
$1100 + $100 = $1200

Much better. Nicely structured, but I think you could do with a bit more description to break up the dialogue, which soon becomes monotonous and unvaried.

---

Jacky Fiend
The Yakuza
8th story
$49
$360 + $49 = $409

A nice length and a great return to form. I loved the description-laden passages and the cool persona that Hajime has.

---

Crime Desk


Recent government statistics show a nationwide rise in drug-related crime. Sales of illegal substances are up, and the quantity of these substances arriving in the US has reached an all-time high, making them cheaper and more widespread. Congress has pushed through harsher laws, and the War on Drugs is now back in full force. Already, several huge drug busts have been made on cocaine shipments flowing through the Carribean from South America. The increased risk in drug shipment means less producers are willing to make the risk of exporting their products to the US, and so prices have risen.

In other, unrelated news, the two Chinese men arrested a few days ago by LCPD have been charged with possession of illegal substances and a stolen car. However, the two Colt .45s found in their possession turned out to be fully licensed and have been handed back to their rightful owners.

---

Yes Flesh, it might be small, but if it stops your moaning a little then it's worth it - you now have your Colt .45s back. Just think, we were planning giving you a nice reward for helping out with keeping track of updates and the sort, but that'll have to be put off for a while now. If you'd reacted better to the drugs bust on you and understood that you were taking advantage of the drug system, then you would have probably had it by now.

---

rated and updated by mark-2007

Flesh-n-Bone
  • Flesh-n-Bone

    OG

  • Members
  • Joined: 17 Feb 2008
  • Sweden

#1253

Posted 23 September 2008 - 07:55 PM Edited by Flesh-n-Bone, 23 September 2008 - 08:15 PM.

Nah it's cool. I was just left with surprise on how randomly this happened. Also I like how you set up your stories about crime so well about the police raiding and such.

Plus I get $100 extra for my last story as it was number 40 in terms of bracketed. One more story and I'll switch to a gang I'll be thinking about. Yeah I know I acted like a little moron, and I'm regretting it so badly. So let's say that's a forgotten thing and I'm very relaxed now.

Besides you can easily guess what type I am, gets mad easily for small things and never can take something easily if you know what I mean.

EDIT: I see the $100 bonus has been added to the table.

Build Up Your Gang
  • Build Up Your Gang

    Join BUYG Today!

  • Members
  • Joined: 24 Mar 2008

#1254

Posted 23 September 2008 - 08:22 PM

Cool, glad that's all behind us then. As I mentioned, drug prices have risen by quite a bit to decrease profit margins and I've added a new rule.

Still left to overhaul:

- Businesses and Rackets (which will replace Drug Facilities, Businesses and Assets)
We're still open to suggestions on which businesses and rackets we could use, along with what they're asset (what makes them money ie. the racket is a Brothel, then their asset is a Whore).
- Gang War rules
We're going to make the requests system a lot simpler, along with the wars themselves. The rewards may be going to be more substantial too.

Weapons and drugs have now been sorted. Weapons and gangs don't need altering. If there's any problems, just bring them up here.

mark-2007

Stefan.
  • Stefan.

    OG

  • Members
  • Joined: 28 Oct 2006

#1255

Posted 24 September 2008 - 09:43 AM

Here's Chapter 3 of my story.

----------

CHAPTER 3: AN UNEXPECTED SURPRISE

9:00
Thursday 1st April 1993
Jefferson, Los Santos


I heard a knock on the front door, and I saw that J-Dog was standing at the door, leaning on the frame.

"Hey man, whassup?" I asked him as I gestured for him to walk in.

"Nah man," he said as we clapped hands together, "We got t' go."

"Who got t' go?" I asked; why he would come here if he needed to come go somewhere, I don't know.

"To get back at those punk-ass Groves for injuring you man. Are you down, dog?"

"Hell yeah I'm down! Just lemme grab my bat..." I went over to the table and picked up my baseball bat, "Let's go." I walked down the lawn to a purple, pimped-out Tahoma parked on the street. B-Rye was the driver, and a man I hadn't met before was sitting in the passenger seat. He looked like a twin of Tupac Shakur, complete with purple bandana and LA Lakers Guernsey. "Hey B-Rye, how you doin' dog?" I asked him as I sat behind him in the back seat.

"Nothin' much man. How's your leg?" He asked as J-Dog sat down himself, and B-Rye drove off into Idlewood.

"Yeah, it's a'ight... a bit sore, but it's gonna get better." I saw the Tupac look-alike staring at me, and after a brief silence, I finally asked, "Who's he?"

"I'm Lynch, brother of Kane," he said with a smile, as he extended out his arm. "You're a good soldier, dog," he said as he turned around and faced the front.

"Thanks man," I replied, as I looked out of the window and saw an ambulance parked in the alleyway, with a crowd of people around, obviously picking up the Grove's body. "Where are we goin'?"

"Ever heard of 8-Ball?" J-Dog said as a look of horror encroached upon my face. Oh no, it couldn't come to this. We were going to do a terrorist hit.

9:23
Thursday 1st April 1993
El Corona, San Andreas


The car came to a slow stop in front of the shop. 8-Ball could be seen inside, getting up from under a black Vincent. His hands were dirty, and his shirt looked as if it had been in the dirty hands of Mike Ashley. He instantly saw us as we got out of the Tahoma, and B-Rye quickly went over to give him a slap of the hands. I've always heard about 8-Ball, but I've never seen the great man himself. "Hey, Calvin, how's life goin' man?" J-Dog asked as they hugged each other. Obviously, Calvin was his real name.

"I'm alright guys... who's this guy?" He said with a slight smirk across his cheeks as he pointed at me.

"Oh, uh... I'm Steven, but the guys call me SC," I replied a bit slowly, making myself look like a retard in the process.

"A'ight then, cool. I'm 8-Ball, by the way," he acknowledged as he nodded in agreement. "So... what do y'all need today?" He asked us as he led us into his tiny office adjacent to the garage door; the room was the size of an average bedroom, it had a desk with many messy papers on it, and the sticker opposite it had many stickers and pictures of 8-Ball with numerous gang bangers, including J-Dog and B-Rye.

"Well," Lynch started as we all took our seats in old, rocking wooden chairs, "We need enough at least a couple of pounds of C4."

"Cool, it could be done," 8-Ball said as he wrote down on a yellow sticky note 'C4'. "How much will y'all need? What are you gonna do with it?" He said, mainly directing his question at B-Rye, who seemed to be the leader of this whole shenanigan.

"Well... we're planning on blowing up the Bank of America tower," B-Rye replied calmly as 8-Ball's jaw dropped.
"Surely... you can't be serious. They cover this property man!" he said as he shifted his position nervously in his chair.

"Don't worry man, with the dividends we'll make, you'll never need this place again!" B-Rye said, while laughing, as he leaned back in his chair.

"But... why are you attacking it? It's not the Groves own it or anything..."

"Ah, but that's where you're wrong," B-Rye quickly cut in. "Ever since the Groves took down our little business in Los Flores, their leader bought a stake in the Bank of America. With this, they've bought more properties, more assets, and more businesses than any other company in the world, and they're all covered by the Bank. If we destroy the bank, not only will their shares crumble, but so will their assets..." He said, obviously proud with his scheme.

8-Ball thought for a second, before replying, "That's a damn good idea. Can I be in? The Groves have been giving me trouble 'cause they wanna buy me out."

"Sure man, you can join in," B-Rye said as he got up and shook his hand. The only thing I was thinking about now were the consequences of it; good or bad, I think my conscience will end up taking over, but for now, all I could do was sit back and wait.

----------

Flesh-n-Bone
  • Flesh-n-Bone

    OG

  • Members
  • Joined: 17 Feb 2008
  • Sweden

#1256

Posted 24 September 2008 - 06:02 PM

OK here's my 20th and last story for the Triads before I move on. I'd like to buy a MP5 and sniper rifle and for the 20th story reward the elegy (bonus vehicle) is unlocked and for the free car under $500 I'll pick the Buffalo.

Triads, Chapter 20: Farewell Leone's...


Today I had decided earlier that I'll leave Liberty City for once and all as well as buying a house somewhere outside of USA. I first wanted to get my full time revenge on the Leone's and then leave as I become the Triads biggest hero by doing this. Joey Leone the don once Toni died was paying the club in Red Light District a visit and other key members Luigi and Mickey were there as they own the club. The whole work was unorganized and easy to screw up but I had a total number of 11 Triads in fish vans backing me up. One of them gave me call.
"Hey, I'm your fellow Triad. Look - this guy 8-Ball gave me loads of detonation bombs and I have kept them in one of our fish vans. It's inside the factory, all set to go now we can finally take out the Leone's." said the Triad on the phone.

"Great, now we can finally get rid of these pricks and I can leave in peace!" I replied with a mad voice.

I put on a pair of robbery type clothes with my head covered with socks. Nobody could actually recognize me or my friends.
I went out and a bunch of Triads were waiting for me there, one fish van alongside a great number of Streetfighters containing my fellow Triads in similar clothes to me were waiting. I went inside the fish van and we all started to drive towards the club.

On the way nobody was actually on our tail but when we reached the Red Light District the interior to the club was heavily guarded. I had a bag with me containing the bombs to set off the place but the Leone's were quite many and I still had my AK there. Most of my friends carried MP5 with some of them having AK's and we had sniper rifle's loaded into the trunk of our fish van. I handed a couple of them to some of my followers and told them to get a vantage point at the roof across the club to kill anybody walking past the interior. Three of us went up the roof across the club and used the sniper rifle to kill the couple of Leone's surrounding the place. A total of five guards were shot in the head before anybody was spotted. I found a couple of walls leading to the back of the club where I could sneak up. I climbed on a couple of walls and ended up in the back of the club. My followers repeated it although some used the normal interior to ambush the party. I knocked the door to the inside and went in. I had my AK with me as well as my friends following me. There was another door on our way. The Leone's could be easily seen through the window to the door. Joey was getting pleasured by a hooker and strippers were seen dancing on poles. Mickey Hamfists the bodyguard and Luigi were there dealing beers and selling stuff in the bar. I decided to stand behind and watch my friends enter before while knocking the door to make sure I'm safe as I led the team. Two knocked the door and entered the bar, the strippers started to scream and ran away. Joey, Mickey and Luigi all three walked up to us. A Leone guarding the place was seen, he killed one of our team members. Joey closed in and started to talk...
"Who the hell are y'all?" Joey said as he looked so scared and confused.
"We are taking you assholes out, die!" I said instantly and started to fire at Joey with my AK. He fell down quite fast and died. Luigi and Mickey attempted to find a route to escape but I had a molotov saved in my pocket and threw it at them while watching them both scream as they were burning.
"Haha hahaha - Leone's can kiss my ass!" I shouted as I saw both Luigi and Mickey falling down in the flames. Some Leone's appeared out of nowhere. "I kill you tough guy!" said one of them and they all pointed their guns at us. We shoot as much as we could and although three of my friends were killed I happened to get my shoots right and went towards every single room around to set my bombs.
"Ready or not?" asked one of the Triads.
"It's all set here, we have 40 seconds to get out of here, but there's 2 other bombs needing to be put there." I replied as I ran away from the first bomb. I quickly set the other bombs to explode and exited the club via the front door.

The timer had 5 seconds left and then I found a Streetfighter which I used to escape the explosion. As the place was stormed with bombs I was around Hepburn Heights and stood by the Ammu-Nation there using binoculars to watch the explosion. The whole place was destroyed and nearly all of Red Light District was now a done deal. As the explosion came to an end the whole club was replaced by sand and nothing was left in this awesome district. The Triads are now owning a new turf here.

I was finished with all I asked for and I called Harry to assure that I'm no longer a criminal.

"Harry! We got it, the whole Red Light District is in question. We set the bombs, Luigi, Joey and Mickey are all dead - the Leone's are finished and we can finally celebrate all we needed!" I said happily "but... hear me, I'm going to leave town to Canada and lay low there for a while." I continued.

"It's nice to hear about you! I was thinking whatever happened to you man. Your incredible, the whole district is down... the Leone's are done too. Good to hear about it even if you were in such a bad mood." Harry replied happily.

I hung up and in my Streetfighter decided to go back home. I was unsure whether I should go or stay. I went home and relaxed as I was so delighted. I turned on the TV and saw live television showing the messed up Red Light District with the death of many citizens. I was glad and sad at the same time.

Trouble
  • Trouble

    High Roller

  • Members
  • Joined: 10 Aug 2008

#1257

Posted 25 September 2008 - 04:36 PM Edited by Trouble, 25 September 2008 - 04:46 PM.

Grove Street Families
Chapter 11- Déjŕ vu


5 :40 AM



I was sleeping at my home and I had a weird dream;
I was in Temple whit CJ and a lot of other Grove Street OGs having a huge gun fight whit the Ballas and CJ was right next to me and got shot in the head and the next second every thing was on flames including me.I didn’t see what happened next ‘cause I waked up. I didn’t got worried because it was just a dream. I put on my green clothes and got some breakfast.

After eating I got out of my house and visited CJ at his house, he was there, about to leave. I asked I’m where he was going, he said that he was just going for a ride in his BF Injection.I asked him if I could go, he said yes and I entered is blue and red off-road.
He started driving in the highway east from grove street heading to the country side.

“So, where are we going?”I asked to CJ.
“To Fern Ridge, just to get this baby to raise a cloud of dust.”Replied CJ.

When we got there CJ started driving in the dirt and there was dust everywhere .
After all that fun we went to Blueberry to get some food in a pizza place there.
He payed the lunch and when we got out of the restaurant he received a phone call.

“Who is it?”CJ asked to the caller.
“CJ, I don’t have time to talk, the Ballas are attacking out territory in Temple, this sh*t is out of control, we need help fast!”Said the caller.
“Ok, I’ll be right there in a minute”Said CJ while entering the car.
“Mike, get in the car, the Ballas are attacking our territory in Temple.”Said CJ.

I remembered right away to what happened in the dream and I got worried, but I got in the car and prepared for a big bloody fight. We were no to far away from Temple and I could hear gun shoots and police cars and ambulances.
CJ stopped the car on front of the Pay’n’Spray in Temple and we got out of the car and started shooting to the closest group of Ballas, big mistake, they were 5 and we were 2.

I instantly remembered from the dream that CJ got shoot in the head.I pushed I’m to the car a I started driving away, it was just in time, a Ballas from the group trow a molotov cocktail to the place we were.

“Hey man how did you know they were going to kill us?”Asked CJ.
“It was from a dream I got”I answered.
“Cool, déjŕ vu”Said CJ.

We were back on Grove Street.
“We lost the territory but we will take care of that another day, thanks for helping me out.”Said CJ.
I got back home and got some dinner.

Skimask101
  • Skimask101

    No

  • Members
  • Joined: 29 May 2008

#1258

Posted 25 September 2008 - 08:36 PM

@Trouble:You should try to use other words besides "He said" or "He asked", I know I have the same problem but I make an effort to put different words in. Also try adding more description and emotion in your stories because there very bland.


@Flesh-N-Bone:You should stay in BUYG but start reading other peoples stories and learn from them because you might figure out how to make lots of money by just writing stories. Jacky Fiend makes about $45 a story but doesn't make them too often, for example if you were to start writing like Jacky Fiend and make a story a day (Like you do know) you'll have the richest, most powerful and honorable gang in BUYG.


Just giving advice...

Story comming soon...

Flesh-n-Bone
  • Flesh-n-Bone

    OG

  • Members
  • Joined: 17 Feb 2008
  • Sweden

#1259

Posted 25 September 2008 - 08:38 PM

I know mate, I can make quite some good stories but I don't take much effort for it and I'm not going to leave. I will only switch gangs from the Triads to somewhere else, where I am going still remains unknown for now.


Wherever I will go afterward it would be good if I could start freshly without any bracketing numbers causing confusion. I know I have come quite far in number but it just gets annoying when my brackets are one number ahead of my gang story count.

mark-2007
  • mark-2007

    Big Homie

  • The Connection
  • Joined: 09 Apr 2006

#1260

Posted 25 September 2008 - 10:48 PM

Cool, good idea. Getting rid of your brackets, if you're sure about that, will make it much easier for us too.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users