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funny things Peds can say

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xNewtype Acex
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#31

Posted 07 June 2007 - 02:04 AM

How about this:

Tourist Ped: *Looking at a map and scratching his head* "WTF, Broker, I swear this place was called Portland when I last visited!!!"

deimossaturn
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#32

Posted 07 June 2007 - 02:18 AM

Every day is caturday

geomy
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#33

Posted 07 June 2007 - 04:58 AM

QUOTE (Claude94 @ Jun 6 2007, 20:56)
"STEEAAK!!!"

Maybe not so obvious, like not include steak in the game and have a ped bitching about how there is no steak ...

"This is bullsh*t! I can't believe you guys don't have steak!!"

Rick88
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#34

Posted 07 June 2007 - 05:06 AM



"Hey, so I see your wife made it in America's Top Hooker"

tounge.gif

geomy
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#35

Posted 07 June 2007 - 05:20 AM

QUOTE (Rick88 @ Jun 7 2007, 00:06)
"Hey, so I see your wife made it in America's Top Hooker"

tounge.gif

lol.gif Winner icon14.gif icon14.gif

Hrimfaxi
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#36

Posted 07 June 2007 - 05:24 AM

Random ped talk off the top of my head:


"Don't buy mixed nuts, just buy 'em and mix 'em at home!"

"Got a snacka? Snacka fo a cracka??"

"I shot Mr. Burns"

"I buy the product and never use it"

"You suck. I'll cut you."

"More like SUCK-erty city."

"Pink was about vaginas."

"Portland scares me."

"I like frozen starberry popsicles"

"You're sexy... not!"

"Do I have face herpes?"

"Its a sabotage!" (pronounced sah-bah-taj-yah)

"I don't have ADD, I just ooh look a kitty."

"I'll never see the Mt. Rushmore fight scene"

"Moist"

"Do you like dolphins?"

"Theres a method to your mom"

"I'm just a piano man"

"Blam, dink, your mom"

"My balls are black and blue!"

"Its not polygamous if its a VCR"

"Ursurp my hot jets of meat"

zeppelincheetah
  • zeppelincheetah

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#37

Posted 07 June 2007 - 07:48 AM

how about two peds on the corner having an abbott and costello sorta convo. for those few that don't know abbott and costello: http://www.baseball-...om/humor4.shtml

bum: "can you spare some change? i need BOOOZE!"


in this scene there's MAN SMOKING and LIBERAL LADY

LIBERAL LADY: *cough cough* how DARE you smoke on the sidewalk! PEOPLE are on the sidewalk! go smoke in your car!

MAN SMOKING: *blows smoke in her face*



btw: geomy i LOVE your sig! old school!

TinCan
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#38

Posted 07 June 2007 - 12:32 PM

QUOTE (geomy @ Jun 6 2007, 21:05)
Some random references to the old Liberty City would be cool.

"It's amazing how big the city got in only a few years..."

or what about "Are you still living in old Liberty? That's sooo last gen..."

Truth_B
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#39

Posted 07 June 2007 - 01:48 PM

I'm so high in the sky I can eat a star muppetmaster_karma.gif

Hart
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#40

Posted 07 June 2007 - 06:57 PM

ped walks up to you: want some hot coffee.....?

if you bump into someone they shout: rape! rape! police! a foreign person is raping me!

if you miss a headshot the ped shouts: n00b! cant shoot for sh*t!

soleil
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#41

Posted 07 June 2007 - 07:05 PM Edited by soleil, 07 June 2007 - 07:10 PM.

They should have homeless guys ask you for money, and if you give them some, they might give you useful information, like something they saw.

For example:

"Spare change?"

"Sure. I have killed people, sold people, smuggled people, but I have never denied people money when they are homeless." (gives the homeless man a dollar)

"Thank you, sir. God bless you. By the way, the last time I saw you walk by this street, I saw this guy in a grey suit and black sunglasses following you from a distance. You might wanna watch your back."

The description of the man who followed you can tip you off on what mafia organization is spying on you. And they should be spying on you even when you are not on a mission.

Hart
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#42

Posted 07 June 2007 - 07:08 PM

QUOTE (soleil @ Jun 7 2007, 19:05)
They should have homeless guys ask you for money, and if you give them some, they might give you useless information, like something they saw.

For example:

"Spare change?"

"Sure.  I have killed people, sold people, smuggled people, but I have never denied people money when they are homeless."  (gives the homeless man a dollar)

"Thank you, sir.  God bless you.  By the way, the last time I saw you walk by this street, I saw this guy in a grey suit and black sunglasses following you from a distance.  You might wanna watch your back."

The description of the man who followed you can tip you off on what mafia organization is spying on you.  And they should be spying on you even when you are not on a mission.

thats a good idea. like on oblivion, if you give a beggar some money, they tell you some info

jeremy_jeremy00
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#43

Posted 07 June 2007 - 07:09 PM

they could say

"please don't rape my bottom without at least spitting on it first, dry humping hurts"

or

"why am i tuned on by killing dogs then humping them?"

soleil
  • soleil

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#44

Posted 07 June 2007 - 07:10 PM

QUOTE (jeremy_jeremy00 @ Jun 7 2007, 19:09)
they could say

"please don't rape my bottom without at least spitting on it first, dry humping hurts"

or

"why am i tuned on by killing dogs then humping them?"

That's good.... but doesn't "dry humping" really mean grinding up on someone with your clothes on?

goraya
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#45

Posted 07 June 2007 - 07:11 PM

one ped to another,"MY SON PLAY TOO MUCH VIDEO GAME CALLED SOMETHING LIKE GTA, HE'S MAD FOR IT, SON OF A BITCH!!!!"

Nikofan112
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#46

Posted 07 June 2007 - 07:12 PM Edited by Nikofan112, 09 June 2007 - 10:07 PM.

If you shoot at a nerd and shoot his body he says "your such a nOOb, you sprayer. That is so CSS."

soleil
  • soleil

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#47

Posted 07 June 2007 - 07:13 PM

Or how about this: "Did you hear? Tom Jackdaughter finally got disbarred."

Hart
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#48

Posted 07 June 2007 - 07:13 PM

QUOTE (goraya @ Jun 7 2007, 19:11)
one ped to another,"MY SON PLAY TOO MUCH VIDEO GAME CALLED SOMETHING LIKE GTA, HE'S MAD FOR IT, SON OF A BITCH!!!!"

OR they say: my son plays some of the worst gta imitation games ever like dri3ver, true crime and saints row! why cant he just play normal gta?

james iz ere
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#49

Posted 07 June 2007 - 07:17 PM

'Whats up Borat?' lol.gif lol.gif lol.gif lol.gif lol.gif

jeremy_jeremy00
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#50

Posted 07 June 2007 - 07:17 PM

QUOTE (soleil @ Jun 7 2007, 19:10)
QUOTE (jeremy_jeremy00 @ Jun 7 2007, 19:09)
they could say 

"please don't rape my bottom without at least spitting on it first, dry humping hurts"

or

"why am i tuned on by killing dogs then humping them?"

That's good.... but doesn't "dry humping" really mean grinding up on someone with your clothes on?

not too sure, sounds funny tho!!

or how about

"i like to rub dog mess on my balls whilst jumping on dead babies"

"can i shave your nuts and make a moustache from the curly whirly hairs?

"sometimes i eat food then vomit it up on people in the street then proposition them for sex"

"i will poo in your mouth for $5"

"lets rape eachother"

Charlene
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#51

Posted 07 June 2007 - 07:24 PM

QUOTE (Hrimfaxi @ Jun 7 2007, 06:24)

"You're sexy... not!"


LOL!

soleil
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#52

Posted 07 June 2007 - 07:36 PM

I've said it before, but I wanna see Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer around town, talking about random things like the kiss-hello, people who go "It's me" when they call you, etc...

There should be a cafe where the probability of seeing them is very high.

Also, if Niko gets an apartment, then you should be able to go to apartment 5A in your building and knock on the door, and Jerry answers. Then he'll say something random and maybe you can have a conversation with him. Or if you just stand in the hallway watching, then Jerry will eventually walk in or out of his apartment, and you will also see Kramer go from his apartment across the hall to Jerry's. And Elaine and George should be going up to Jerry's apartment frequently, too.

They should have a soup shop where the cook will take away your order if you don't say and do the exact thing he wants.

They should have a Chinese restaurant where Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer are sitting and waiting, and you come in and you get a table before they do. And then they get frustrated with the host.

They should have a restaurant called Pomodoro's, where there are always couples breaking up there. Once in a while you see Kramer and George there.

They should have Paisano's, where they make "a mean calzone." Then from time to time you should see Kramer try to buy one with a load of small change.

They should have a woman in the apartment across the street from Jerry's apartment who is always naked.

They should have a Pakistani restaurant in view from Jerry's apartment, and it should always be empty except for Abu.

They should have an Italian restaurant run by Pappi, and they should have him walking to the bathroom. If you go into the bathroom with him, you will see him go to the bathroom and leave without washing his hands. Then afterwards, they should have him making your food right in plain view.

The Yankees office building needs to have George walking in and out of it. If you manage to get to Geroge's office, you should find him sleeping under his desk. And if you manage to get to Steinbrenner, he should always be facing away from you somehow.

If you find Mr. Pitt's building, the doorman there should always talk to you and ask you if you think you're better than him.

If you go to the Alex, the movie theater, you should see only one hot dog left, and it should be nasty. If you ask for it, the guy behind the counter should ask if you are insane. Then Kramer will jump out of nowhere, say it is a perfectly sane food to eat, buy it, eat it, and then run to the bathroom.

If you kill any of them, they should respawn after time.

liltuner
  • liltuner

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#53

Posted 07 June 2007 - 07:51 PM

Well, if niko punches a guy, the guy will scream ''Kiss my ass!!'' devil.gif

Hart
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#54

Posted 07 June 2007 - 08:44 PM

QUOTE (jeremy_jeremy00 @ Jun 7 2007, 19:17)
QUOTE (soleil @ Jun 7 2007, 19:10)
QUOTE (jeremy_jeremy00 @ Jun 7 2007, 19:09)
they could say 

"please don't rape my bottom without at least spitting on it first, dry humping hurts"

or

"why am i tuned on by killing dogs then humping them?"

That's good.... but doesn't "dry humping" really mean grinding up on someone with your clothes on?

not too sure, sounds funny tho!!

or how about

"i like to rub dog mess on my balls whilst jumping on dead babies"

"can i shave your nuts and make a moustache from the curly whirly hairs?

"sometimes i eat food then vomit it up on people in the street then proposition them for sex"

"i will poo in your mouth for $5"

"lets rape eachother"

you have a REALLY weird sense of humor.
the borat on the other guy said is the best

bigbilly123
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#55

Posted 07 June 2007 - 09:08 PM

Hmm.. wouldnt work in VI but it would be good in GTA 3 if you punched someone and they said, "Salvatore is gonna f*ck you up!"


"Im gonna go get my gun"

"Yall gonna get blown up!"

"Im gonna shoot me some Vietcong!"

"Oh look a shooting star" (During daytime)

"Push it.. push it real good"

"Thats it boy.. real deep like!"

"Jesus shaves!"

"Irish I was drunk"

Bren_34
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#56

Posted 07 June 2007 - 10:11 PM

"I'm thinking about joining the Liberty City Military Branch, I know how to bunny hop!"

shiznit
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#57

Posted 07 June 2007 - 10:37 PM

It will be so funny to see people singing part of a song in a radio station.
Example:
Theres a song in radio station Im a Hustlar
and you see some one singing...
" ama husler homy, nigga ask about me ask about me..."
just lil parts.

pimp_60cent
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#58

Posted 07 June 2007 - 10:48 PM

QUOTE (¤FireStyle¤ @ Jun 5 2007, 13:40)
Crazy bum says..."Cluckin Bell..Burger shot...it's all one big conspiracy I tells ya !!!"

Ped gets robbed..."..man and I thought life in los santos was hard !!"

Ped1 - "Did you hear the rumours about the hairy creature that appears in the park at night ?"
Ped2 - "..oh yea I heard about that..I think they called it big head, or big hand or something like that !"
Ped1 - "I heard he ate 5 kids the other day"
Ped2 - "..No !"
Ped1 - "Uh huh it's true !"

you come across a ped getting beat up in an ally and one thug says "...Mr. Verectti likes his payments on time !!!"

Crazy bum says..."...the ring. The ring is all that stands between me and ultimate power !!!"

Ped..."...Aw man you would not believe what the crazy stuff that happened at bingo night last week !!!"

Ped puffs a joint then slowly stairs at it and says ..."..it's true its true...cluckin bell and burger shot are up to something...and it's up to me to save liberity city !!!"

Those are some good ones. icon14.gif

THEBIGZED
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#59

Posted 08 June 2007 - 09:13 AM

Really fat ped, who would be out of breath, could run past you and say: "Got to run....to the.....Burger Shot" and then he would run to the closest Burger Shot. And just when he comes to the front door of the place a 'CLOSED' sign would appear in the door. And then he would get a heart attack and before his death he would say "Fu*k man, I don't have a reason to live anymore!"

jimm
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#60

Posted 08 June 2007 - 10:13 AM

it would be cool if someone made fun of the ellen degeneres show..............nd maybe call it the "allan degenerates show"




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