I'm sorry for what both you and S0lo have endured... I hope you Trubadour are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. S0lo, I hope you are able to get out of this cycle before it damages your life any more... sounds like you are on the right track, that's really awesome.
thanks for the sentiment, i appreciate it a lot . And yes. i guess i'm somewhat on the right track, as i haven't shot up anything since i released myself from the bin, nor done any benzos or illegal opiates. I'm on a higher dose of methadone again now though, as i decided that, if i don't quit it totally, i might just as well take enough for the pain to be reduced. Some days, when the urge gets too strong, i take a little more so can get a nod on (which i can do by taking less the next day, since i pick my methadone up weekly as pain medication, opposed to those in the drug rehab program who have to pick up theirs one dose at a time). I allow myself these little escapes, so i don't slip back in to that unsatisfiable longing for opiates that builds up when i try to be completely abstinent of any kind of opiate rush by just taking enough methadone to fend off the withdrawal. It's not a perfect solution, but it is a sustainable one. And that's what i need at this moment in time.