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universetwisters
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#9811

Posted 17 August 2014 - 01:31 AM

I found a f*cking live cockroach crawling around my toilet when I went to take a piss. Good lord.

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Tacymist
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#9812

Posted 17 August 2014 - 03:11 AM

I almost fell into a swamp today trying to get to a good fishing spot. And all I caught was some little punk fish and a few minnows, which admittedly were fun to catch because you can just fling em out of the water when they take a nip at your bait. 


In case anyone's worried about the fish that were flung, they're all ok and were safely returned back to the water to swim with their fish friends.


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#9813

Posted 17 August 2014 - 06:56 AM

So I'm watching Wild n Out on MTV, and this annoying ass commercial comes on with Ariana Grande. She's promoting her new album.

 

I find it sad how her 15 minutes of fame ran out, and then she collaborated with the worst artists in history on one song to regain popularity. Oh, Ariana.


SolidSnails
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#9814

Posted 17 August 2014 - 07:13 AM

So I'm watching Wild n Out on MTV, and this annoying ass commercial comes on with Ariana Grande. She's promoting her new album.
 
I find it sad how her 15 minutes of fame ran out, and then she collaborated with the worst artists in history on one song to regain popularity. Oh, Ariana.

at least she's hot.
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GunWrath
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#9815

Posted 17 August 2014 - 07:14 AM

I remember when you licked the ground she walked on. :p

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Flūttershy
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#9816

Posted 18 August 2014 - 09:52 PM Edited by Flūttershy, 18 August 2014 - 09:52 PM.

f*ck, I just got the worst hangnail.

WARNING: mass hangnailage ahead
Spoiler

Cebra
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#9817

Posted 18 August 2014 - 09:57 PM Edited by PhilosophicalZebra, 18 August 2014 - 10:00 PM.

So I'm watching Wild n Out on MTV, and this annoying ass commercial comes on with Ariana Grande. She's promoting her new album.

 

I find it sad how her 15 minutes of fame ran out, and then she collaborated with the worst artists in history on one song to regain popularity. Oh, Ariana.

She's doing the same thing with Big Brother on CBS. Her brother is on the show, and he constantly mentions her every single day. It's very annoying.

 

EDIT: Guess who's on the radio? I'm getting fed up.

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gtamann123
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#9818

Posted 19 August 2014 - 01:52 AM

I went to golden corral. Big mistake. Now I feel like I'm going to burst.
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The Harwood Bitcher
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#9819

Posted 19 August 2014 - 02:39 AM

They set me up a blind date
The broad is doable but really stiffy and boring
All the time during the date she looks her cell and yawns
I triy to tak with her and take a interest in her
She settles on being a tedious c*nt
Things are weird and is full of umcomfortable silences
I go to the bathroom to take a piss and i go back out again and...
She's f*cking gone
The dude sitting beside tells me she runs the exact moment i close the bathroom door
Thank god we didnt get to order nothing!
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gtamann123
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#9820

Posted 19 August 2014 - 04:29 AM

Just found out my former state is one of the few that don't give refunds for vehicle registration when you move out of state. The vehicle was registered in April and I moved in June so it's basically $400 down the drain. f*ck those pathetic f*cks.  


GunWrath
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#9821

Posted 19 August 2014 - 04:37 AM

They set me up a blind date
The broad is doable but really stiffy and boring
All the time during the date she looks her cell and yawns
I triy to tak with her and take a interest in her
She settles on being a tedious c*nt
Things are weird and is full of umcomfortable silences
I go to the bathroom to take a piss and i go back out again and...
She's f*cking gone
The dude sitting beside tells me she runs the exact moment i close the bathroom door
Thank god we didnt get to order nothing!

Lol.

 

Who set up the date?


Scaglietti
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#9822

Posted 19 August 2014 - 05:52 AM

So I set my notifications options to notify me when somebody quotes one of my posts and at first it worked fine. But now it's leading me to the post the person supposedly quoted, yet that person's reply towards me is nowhere to be found.


lil weasel
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#9823

Posted 19 August 2014 - 06:07 AM

So I set my notifications options to notify me when somebody quotes one of my posts and at first it worked fine. But now it's leading me to the post the person supposedly quoted, yet that person's reply towards me is nowhere to be found.

If you mean the "notifications" at the top right of the page. It has two links. If you click QUOTED, you get the quoted reply. If you click the POSTED word you get your own post.

Moth
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#9824

Posted 19 August 2014 - 06:08 AM

So I set my notifications options to notify me when somebody quotes one of my posts and at first it worked fine. But now it's leading me to the post the person supposedly quoted, yet that person's reply towards me is nowhere to be found.

I guess it's do to them quoting you, but then deleting the quote. 


SolidSnails
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#9825

Posted 19 August 2014 - 06:41 AM Edited by SolidSnails, 19 August 2014 - 06:42 AM.

They set me up a blind date
The broad is doable but really stiffy and boring
All the time during the date she looks her cell and yawns
I triy to tak with her and take a interest in her
She settles on being a tedious c*nt
Things are weird and is full of umcomfortable silences
I go to the bathroom to take a piss and i go back out again and...
She's f*cking gone
The dude sitting beside tells me she runs the exact moment i close the bathroom door
Thank god we didnt get to order nothing!

probably because you look like you're stuck in the late 70's
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Shaundi.
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#9826

Posted 19 August 2014 - 07:32 AM

Clive Palmer... what the f*ck are you doing.

He's gonna cause Australia to go to war with China. Do not want.
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gtamann123
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#9827

Posted 19 August 2014 - 07:45 AM

Clive Palmer... what the f*ck are you doing.

He's gonna cause Australia to go to war with China. Do not want.

That would be hilarious to watch. The Aussies and the Chinese going at it.  

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Shaundi.
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#9828

Posted 19 August 2014 - 08:08 AM Edited by ZeusMowat_278, 19 August 2014 - 08:20 AM.

^^ & the US would be neutral because because both are allies lol.


The Harwood Bitcher
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#9829

Posted 19 August 2014 - 11:12 AM


They set me up a blind date
The broad is doable but really stiffy and boring
All the time during the date she looks her cell and yawns
I triy to tak with her and take a interest in her
She settles on being a tedious c*nt
Things are weird and is full of umcomfortable silences
I go to the bathroom to take a piss and i go back out again and...
She's f*cking gone
The dude sitting beside tells me she runs the exact moment i close the bathroom door
Thank god we didnt get to order nothing!

Lol.
 
Who set up the date?
A girl who clearly has the hard on me

Ziggy455
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#9830

Posted 19 August 2014 - 10:25 PM Edited by Ziggy455, 19 August 2014 - 10:28 PM.

It was a warm night, one that seemed to reek of the boredom that filled out of my pores. It was in these dire moments, being of unsound mind and body, that maybe checking out a dating site might help alleviate the ashtray that had become my heart following what was to be considered one of the most painful breakups I've ever endured as a person. 

 

I will not divulge too much on information surrounding the events of the journey into the website. I will use fake names.

 

So I logged onto Plenty of People, wink wink. The rain outside continued to pour as I clicked onto the SEARCH button, threw in some information, and began flicking through the first pages. The first girl I spotted had the cheesy, and of course, not completely unoriginal headline of: ALL'S FAIR IN LOVE ND WAR. 

 

I missed the A in and on purpose. So I click onto the picture. She's cute, 23, mixed-race with a curly afro, gorgeous brown eyes. I slip further down the page, and check out the About Me: 

 

"Hey there. My name is [Fatty Roman's Cousin] and I like travelling, eating in, watching movies, I love books and I'm looking for mr right so please dont ask me for a 'hookup' and also, if you're under 26 please dont bother. I want a man not a boy."

 

Okay, so that's a big no-no. 

 

The journey continues.

 

I click through more pictures. Eventually I find another girl, cute glasses, bright smile. Mixed-race, articulate. We scroll down to the About Me:

 

"I'm [Fakin Yokel]. I'm 23. Love travelling, festivals. I'm a bit too chatty and I LOVE nights in, cuddling with a cheesy movie. I'm loud boisterous but also believe in a hard worker. Car and license is a must because I'll just end up questioning what you do for a living if you're that basic. I'm not cheap ;) Looking out there for my Mr Grey." 

 

I feel the hatred rise as I grit my teeth, but the raging beast in the pits of my stomach resign to a quiet fate for now. 

 

LET'S KEEP GOING.

 

Okay, this one's good. 22, cute, white, posh, articulate but she's got a little bit of a dark sense of humor. Her headline is 9/11 Americans won't get this. Sign me up! She's very cute with blue eyes and a blinding white teeth that seem to glisten like shells sprayed by waves. 

 

The About Me:

 

Message me. ;)

 

I cracked my fingers! What the hey, can't lose much more. My dignity and respect packed up and left f*cking years ago! 

 

"Hi. :) I laughed my ass off at your headline. :P" Start off small. They don't like big paragraphs. It frightens them like gazelles. One word over, they hear it like a twig snap and dart off.

 

I wait a while. Boop! One new message:

 

"Thanks :3"

 

Well, f*ck me, you leave much room--I wonder if I reply again, will it go as smoothly? I try.

 

"So tell me about yourself?" 

 

Hours pass. I move on with my life. Rainy clouds fly by. I return later. Boop. New message! I click it open. 

 

"Leave me alone you weirdo." 

rage.gif

 

 

Now I am a fair man. What, in any conceivable way, did I come off as WEIRD!? 

 

Seriously. Girls on dating sites are more stuck up than real girls. You show a genuine interest, they ignore you. You don't have the qualifications, you're out. It's like applying for a f*cking job. Oh, you don't have a car? Boop! Sorry, nothing there for you. I'm incapable of feeling emotion towards a man who can't pick me up in his Ford Escort or Honda Accord. Oh sh*t, by the way, I'm a princess, treat me as such. Yeah, that's why you're a princess. That's why you're on a dating site like this, because nobody in your immediate vicinity can deal with how much of a self-indulgent c*nt you are.

 

/RANT.

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t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m
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    try again sweetie

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#9831

Posted 20 August 2014 - 12:17 AM

RUMqaqv.png

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GunWrath
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#9832

Posted 20 August 2014 - 12:37 AM Edited by GunWrath, 20 August 2014 - 12:38 AM.

hot

hot

hot

hot

hot

Yyyuuuppppp. I'm right there with ya dude.

 

51cf35b10bb2d36365e0eba2e5a2480f.png

 

 

It rained earlier today, so it's decently cooler than the previous days and it feels glorious. I even sat on the porch just now for about an hour and letting the pit walk around and piss on everything. Though I can only imagine the humidity is going to suck the ass of Thor tomorrow.


The Harwood Bitcher
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#9833

Posted 20 August 2014 - 12:41 AM

It was a warm night, one that seemed to reek of the boredom that filled out of my pores. It was in these dire moments, being of unsound mind and body, that maybe checking out a dating site might help alleviate the ashtray that had become my heart following what was to be considered one of the most painful breakups I've ever endured as a person. 
 
I will not divulge too much on information surrounding the events of the journey into the website. I will use fake names.
 
So I logged onto Plenty of People, wink wink. The rain outside continued to pour as I clicked onto the SEARCH button, threw in some information, and began flicking through the first pages. The first girl I spotted had the cheesy, and of course, not completely unoriginal headline of: ALL'S FAIR IN LOVE ND WAR. 
 
I missed the A in and on purpose. So I click onto the picture. She's cute, 23, mixed-race with a curly afro, gorgeous brown eyes. I slip further down the page, and check out the About Me: 
 
"Hey there. My name is [Fatty Roman's Cousin] and I like travelling, eating in, watching movies, I love books and I'm looking for mr right so please dont ask me for a 'hookup' and also, if you're under 26 please dont bother. I want a man not a boy."
 
Okay, so that's a big no-no. 
 
The journey continues.
 
I click through more pictures. Eventually I find another girl, cute glasses, bright smile. Mixed-race, articulate. We scroll down to the About Me:
 
"I'm [Fakin Yokel]. I'm 23. Love travelling, festivals. I'm a bit too chatty and I LOVE nights in, cuddling with a cheesy movie. I'm loud boisterous but also believe in a hard worker. Car and license is a must because I'll just end up questioning what you do for a living if you're that basic. I'm not cheap ;) Looking out there for my Mr Grey." 
 
I feel the hatred rise as I grit my teeth, but the raging beast in the pits of my stomach resign to a quiet fate for now. 
 
LET'S KEEP GOING.
 
Okay, this one's good. 22, cute, white, posh, articulate but she's got a little bit of a dark sense of humor. Her headline is 9/11 Americans won't get this. Sign me up! She's very cute with blue eyes and a blinding white teeth that seem to glisten like shells sprayed by waves. 
 
The About Me:
 
Message me. ;)
 
I cracked my fingers! What the hey, can't lose much more. My dignity and respect packed up and left f*cking years ago! 
 
"Hi. :) I laughed my ass off at your headline. :P" Start off small. They don't like big paragraphs. It frightens them like gazelles. One word over, they hear it like a twig snap and dart off.
 
I wait a while. Boop! One new message:
 
"Thanks :3"
 
Well, f*ck me, you leave much room--I wonder if I reply again, will it go as smoothly? I try.
 
"So tell me about yourself?" 
 
Hours pass. I move on with my life. Rainy clouds fly by. I return later. Boop. New message! I click it open. 
 
"Leave me alone you weirdo." 
rage.gif
 
 
Now I am a fair man. What, in any conceivable way, did I come off as WEIRD!? 
 
Seriously. Girls on dating sites are more stuck up than real girls. You show a genuine interest, they ignore you. You don't have the qualifications, you're out. It's like applying for a f*cking job. Oh, you don't have a car? Boop! Sorry, nothing there for you. I'm incapable of feeling emotion towards a man who can't pick me up in his Ford Escort or Honda Accord. Oh sh*t, by the way, I'm a princess, treat me as such. Yeah, that's why you're a princess. That's why you're on a dating site like this, because nobody in your immediate vicinity can deal with how much of a self-indulgent c*nt you are.
 
/RANT.

Its worst face to face
Also that broad was c*ntplicated
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#9834

Posted 20 August 2014 - 12:41 AM

9fc96f3b3d6d22de43e1d29c3ee0ad19.png

 

Eh.. not bad, really. I think we've only had two 90°F days here, surprised there weren't more.


gtamann123
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#9835

Posted 20 August 2014 - 12:52 AM Edited by gtamann123, 20 August 2014 - 12:56 AM.

Children Please

Screenshot_2014-08-19-17-50-16_zpsxbi4z9

It's actually not that hot. It's usually hotter than this

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#9836

Posted 20 August 2014 - 12:53 AM

Holy crap.. I could never live in a place where temps get that high.


Ardentem
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#9837

Posted 20 August 2014 - 02:47 AM

I'm at the store buying clothes when I see these flip-flops. Not just any flip-flops, f*ckING CAMOUFLAGE FLIP-FLOPS. WHAT, ARE YOU LITTLE MARINE-WANNABE PUSSIES GONNA PRETEND THAT YOU'RE A SOLDIER ON A f*ckING BEACH IN FLORIDA ON A SUNNY DAY SIPPING A f*ckING DIET COKE? NO, YOU LITTLE BITCH, WOODLAND WILL NOT BLEND IN TO ANYTHING ON A TAN COLORED BEACH. HUMANITY IS DOOMED THANKS TO THESE f*ckING IDIOTS.

/endRant
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Payne Killer
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#9838

Posted 20 August 2014 - 02:55 AM

I'm at the store buying clothes when I see these flip-flops. Not just any flip-flops, f*ckING CAMOUFLAGE FLIP-FLOPS. WHAT, ARE YOU LITTLE MARINE-WANNABE PUSSIES GONNA PRETEND THAT YOU'RE A SOLDIER ON A f*ckING BEACH IN FLORIDA ON A SUNNY DAY SIPPING A f*ckING DIET COKE? NO, YOU LITTLE BITCH, WOODLAND WILL NOT BLEND IN TO ANYTHING ON A TAN COLORED BEACH. HUMANITY IS DOOMED THANKS TO THESE f*ckING IDIOTS.

/endRant

Lol, you think that's bad what about camo skinny jeans.

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#9839

Posted 20 August 2014 - 02:57 AM

I'm at the store buying clothes when I see these flip-flops. Not just any flip-flops, f*ckING CAMOUFLAGE FLIP-FLOPS. WHAT, ARE YOU LITTLE MARINE-WANNABE PUSSIES GONNA PRETEND THAT YOU'RE A SOLDIER ON A f*ckING BEACH IN FLORIDA ON A SUNNY DAY SIPPING A f*ckING DIET COKE? NO, YOU LITTLE BITCH, WOODLAND WILL NOT BLEND IN TO ANYTHING ON A TAN COLORED BEACH. HUMANITY IS DOOMED THANKS TO THESE f*ckING IDIOTS.

/endRant

 

Lol, you have serious issues.

 

Calm yourself.


Ardentem
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#9840

Posted 20 August 2014 - 03:11 AM


I'm at the store buying clothes when I see these flip-flops. Not just any flip-flops, f*ckING CAMOUFLAGE FLIP-FLOPS. WHAT, ARE YOU LITTLE MARINE-WANNABE PUSSIES GONNA PRETEND THAT YOU'RE A SOLDIER ON A f*ckING BEACH IN FLORIDA ON A SUNNY DAY SIPPING A f*ckING DIET COKE? NO, YOU LITTLE BITCH, WOODLAND WILL NOT BLEND IN TO ANYTHING ON A TAN COLORED BEACH. HUMANITY IS DOOMED THANKS TO THESE f*ckING IDIOTS.

/endRant

 
Lol, you have serious issues.
 
Calm yourself.

Obvious joke is not obvious.




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