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Cubanwhip
  • Cubanwhip

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#211

Posted 27 August 2006 - 04:22 PM Edited by Cubanwhip, 27 August 2006 - 04:25 PM.

What...the...f*ck... I come here to check my comments because I seemed to have gotten one more page, but I come to a flame war? So now I have read through, and I want you, Claude, to get out of my thread immediately. You had no right to go and advertise your stories in another stories thread. Then when someone tells you not too, you retaliate with these outrageous comebacks which forces, I mean forces, S. Leone into a flame war with you. Some other people jump in and thell you too stop, but you continue on anyways in a childish way. Then, it seems to continue even on over to the next day. I think you just insulted me saying "If he has one (dick)". So please get off this thread right now. I do not want 20+ pages of a flamewar between you and the fans because you wanted to advertise your stories on a popular thread to get attention. And if you just want attention, congratulations, you got it. I just hope that it won't come down to the point of a mod seeing this and banning you, so just stop now, and don't let it escalate to that point.

And to my REAL fans. The next chapter is being typed up right now after this lengthy post for you enjoyment. It should be posted later today or tomorrow. This is Cubanwhip signing off for now.

Pat
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#212

Posted 27 August 2006 - 05:35 PM

Woohoo!
Yay Cubanwhip!
(I've been bothering him on MSN for a new chapter since the last one came out)
And... Claud Vercetti w/e... How the f*ck did I describe myself?
I was describing YOU.
1. I'm not a dumbass (Unlike you)
2. I'm not a f*cktard noob (Unlike you)
3. I dont spam (Unlike you)
4. I can tell when someone's being f*cking sarcastic. (Unlike you)
5. I dont double post. (Unlike you)
6. I dont TRIPPLE post. (Unlike you)

So please, stop being a retarted noob, and get the f*ck off this story.
You want people to stop bashing you when you first join? Dont be such a f*cktard and spam, double post, advertise, ect.

f*cking seriously. Dumbass.
EmoPat (Bothering Roberto AKA Cubanwhip [Yes Roberto is his real name] on MSN for another chapter) Signing off. viddy_pirate.gif

Rashon.
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#213

Posted 27 August 2006 - 06:40 PM

QUOTE (EmoPat @ Aug 27 2006, 13:35)
EmoPat (Bothering Roberto AKA Cubanwhip [Yes Roberto is his real name] on MSN for another chapter) Signing off. viddy_pirate.gif

You're kidding me. Roberto is his real name. Now he's really going to kill Tommy now. sad.gif

The best that can happen is that they all know what they did wrong.

Pat
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#214

Posted 27 August 2006 - 06:47 PM

Dont mean to be mean,
But how does the fact that his name is Roberto mean he's gonna kill Tommy?
Yeah, I agree.
When I saw that Roberto and that other guy were gonna work together, I thought you were gonna get to a part where Tommy was about to be killed by them, like hanging off a cliff for example, and then Roberto played along like he was gonna kill Tommy, then he'd kill that other guy and help Tommy and it'd be over.
=P
And btw, hey look. It's the f*cktard ClaudVercettiCJ reading this topic!
Look dude, dont bother posting.
We're all just going to ignore you now.
We dont have enough time to deal with a noob who likes to spam and bitch about how people fight back when he flames at them.

ClaudeTommyCJ_4_LiFe
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#215

Posted 27 August 2006 - 06:52 PM

QUOTE (EmoPat @ Aug 27 2006, 17:35)
Woohoo!
Yay Cubanwhip!
(I've been bothering him on MSN for a new chapter since the last one came out)
And... Claud Vercetti w/e... How the f*ck did I describe myself?
I was describing YOU.
1. I'm a dumbass (Unlike you)
2. I'm a f*cktard noob (Unlike you)
3. I dont spam (Unlike you)
4. I can tell when someone's being f*cking sarcastic. (Like you)
5. I double post. (Unlike you)
6. I TRIPPLE post. (Unlike you)

So please, stop being a Cool Guy, and stay the f*ck on this story.
You want people to like you when you first join? Dont be such a f*cktard and spam, double post, advertise, ect like me!

f*cking seriously. Homie
EmoPat (Bothering Roberto AKA Cubanwhip [Yes Roberto is his real name] on MSN for another chapter) Signing off. viddy_pirate.gif

LOL Dude you described yourself again two times in a row and the part about me getting bashed after the first day (hmph) I meant it I am a full fledged troll baby (If you do not know what that is I'll teach the meaning my way!) Also you spelled "TRIPPLE" wrong its triple dumb@$$!

S. Leone
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#216

Posted 27 August 2006 - 08:48 PM

That's it, I'm reporting you to a mod, your pissing everyone one off, cubanwhip already asked you to leave.

Rashon.
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#217

Posted 28 August 2006 - 12:12 AM

QUOTE (EmoPat @ Aug 27 2006, 14:47)
Dont mean to be mean,
But how does the fact that his name is Roberto mean he's gonna kill Tommy?
Yeah, I agree.
When I saw that Roberto and that other guy were gonna work together, I thought you were gonna get to a part where Tommy was about to be killed by them, like hanging off a cliff for example, and then Roberto played along like he was gonna kill Tommy, then he'd kill that other guy and help Tommy and it'd be over.
=P

Ah, good point. We'll just have to see the next chapter to clear some things up. smile.gif

Pat
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#218

Posted 28 August 2006 - 01:14 AM

Yeah.
I just talked to Roberto on MSN.
He's finishing up right now.
I'M SQUIRMING IN MY COMPUTOR CHAIR SO MUCH...
I JUST CANT WAIT.
=|

Cubanwhip
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#219

Posted 28 August 2006 - 01:50 AM

Okay, so screw Mr. Claude and let's move on shall we! Chapter time! Here it is, a chapter you've been waiting for.

Chapter 39: A Likely Story

Saturday February 14th, 2007. 3:13 A.M.

Roberto is drinking a Sunring Extra and listening to Victor talk about Ďthe good Ďol daysí. 8-Ball is listening to Victor intently and is completely absorbed by the story. Roberto finishes his drink and decides to join into the conversation.

Victor: Öso then I went with my brother to that drug deal. Now, we had it all planned out. I would go in with the drug, make the exchange and come back. Now, the whole shooting out was unexpected, but as any good ex-marine knows, you always wear a bullet proof vest to a drug deal for those types of situations. (Takes a breath then continues) So when they started shooting, I fell on the floor and played dead. I say the guy I was making the deal with get away, but his friends werenít so fortunate. After a bit, those dirty Swat agents came over to check the dead bodies, I pulled out my Colt Python and shot each of them in the face with one bullet. By that time, my brother was no where in sight and I was left alone here. I had to find out where he went, so I went looking for him.

Roberto: The rest is history. (Laughs) So will you help us out?

8-Ball: Hey! He never finished the story.

Victor: Yeah Roberto, some people donít know Ďthe historyí. (Continues the story) So I went looking for him, he wasnít at home so that meant he was still flying around. I waited at home for hours, and finally heard the helicopter landing on the roof. So I waited a few more minutes and I heard him leave in my Infernus! So I got up and ran out, but he was long gone by then. So then I ran over to the helicopter and jumped in and followed him to see what he was doing. I followed him to Ocean Beach where I found him talking to the guy from the drug deal, Tommy. I saw him drive away and then I decided to go back home and wait for him come back. Thing is, he never did. I spent two weeks without him. Next thing I know, that Tommy guy is running the city. Now, I was living in Little Haiti and it turned out that he was going to demolish my section to build some corporation.

8-Ball: (Chuckles nervously) That isnít good.

Victor: So, then I had to be evacuated. Lance never came back, for I donít know what reason. I decided to go to Tommyís new establishment. I later found out, he killed my Lance, because he betrayed him. I never forgave him, until 1989. He was at his all time high, and gave me three millions dollars to make up for the loss. He also gave me keys to a house in San Andreas in Vinewood, Los Santos. It was a big house, over looking the Vinewood sign. Tragedy struck around 1991 when this rapper started to come up. Maybe you heard of him, Madd Dogg? Well, he really wanted my house because it was pretty big and catered to his needs. I always told him no, on all his offers. He even offered twenty five million for it. I declined saying it had special meaning. He then took it by force and I was robbed of my money. I was left on the street with nothing. Tommy never returned my calls and I decided to leave Los Santos because it offered me anything. I moved to Carcer, got a small job, and bought this small house. Itís been okay ever since.

8-Ball: Wow youíve been through a lot.

Victor: Yeah. Thatís why I left that business a long time ago. I donít want to get into anymore trouble or loose anymore money.

Roberto: Well, that was very touching Vic, but we need you now. Tommy seems to want me and 8-Ball over here dead.

Victor: I knew it! It wasnít going to be something involving giving you guns. You want me to join your little Ďteamí here to try to take down Tommy! (Stands up) Get out of my house.

Roberto: (Stands up and puts his hand on Victorís shoulder) Vic, Iím offering you a chance back at your old life, with no hassle or problems.

Victor: Did you not hear a word I said? (Pushes Robertoís hand off his shoulder) I donít want that life. Now get out.

Roberto: Come on Vic, just help me out one last time. You donít have to take the offer of your old life, but at least help me out one last time. I just want to live my life in peace.

Victor: (Chuckles) Dťjŗ vu. You told me the same thing when you needed the supply of guns to take down the Triads. Now get out. (Reaches under the couch and pulls out a Spaz Shotgun) Get out.

Roberto: (Backs up) Fine Vic. Be that way. I wonít bother you again. (Turns around to 8-Ball) Letís go. Weíre not wanted here.

8-Ball: Youíre giving up that easily?

Roberto: He said no, what else can I do? (Heads out of the house) Just sleep on it Vic, call me in the morning. (Pulls out a piece of paper in his pocket and writes down a number) It would be great to hear from you again. (Places the paper on the coffee table and heads out the door)

8-Ball: (Looks at Roberto then back to Vic) It would help us out if you came. Just think about it. (Follows Roberto out of the house)

Victor: (Sarcastically) Donít worry, I will call. (Slams the door)

Roberto: (Gets into the car) Donít worry 8-Ball, heíll call. I know Vic.

8-Ball: (Gets into the car) You sound so confident. How do you know heíll call?

Roberto: (Starts the car and backs up) Same thing happened last time. (Drives to the motel down the street)

Saturday February 14th, 2007. 2:31 P.M.
Roberto is sleeping in a cheap motel room where the paint peels off the walls and the toilet can not flush and is clogged with who knows what. Condems, crap, hair, everything is in it. 8-Ball sleeps in room next door. Roberto is awoken by a truck horn and is now wide awake. At that moment the cell phone that belonged to the driver starts ringing. Roberto reaches over and picks it up. Too his surprise itís Tommy.

Roberto: (Talking on the phone) How did you get this phone number Tommy?

Tommy: Letís skip the foreplay shall we Roberto. What are expecting to accomplish here? Revenge?

Roberto: Iím not sure Tommy. You started this game. What are you expecting to accomplish?

Tommy: Donít you screw with me! I want you dead! Thatís if I win. What happens if you win?

Roberto: Iím not sure Tommy. Iím playing this out as it comes. I have no plans, no nothing.

Tommy: I told you not to screw with me.

Roberto: Tommy, Tommy. (Chuckles) I wouldnít get so mad. At the end of all of this, no body is going to be dead.

Tommy: Except you. You will die. I will kill you personally.

Roberto: Well, then fine, I will die. But think about this Tommy, with my death, what happens to your empire?

Tommy: Nothing! You are nothing to my empire. Your death will only make it stronger!

Roberto: Interesting. Well, chat with you later Tommy. (Hangs up) So now that I know his weakness, it should be easier than I thought. (Dials 8-Ballís cell phone number) 8-Ball, checkout and meet me at the car. (Hangs up) Now I have to wait for Vicís call. (Stands up and leaves the room and heads over to the office to check out)

Clerk: Hello there, what can I do for you?

Roberto: Iíd like to check out, room 10. (The phone begins to ring) Excuse me for a second. (Picks up the phone) Hello?

Clerk: Okay sir, you are checked out, hereís your receipt. (Roberto grabs the receipt and leaves)

Roberto: Vic is this you?

Victor: Yeah.

Roberto: You thought it over?

Victor: Iíll do it. Not for you though, for my brother.

Roberto: I thought you already forgave Tommy for that?

Victor: Are you kidding? He killed my brother. How could I forgive him?

Roberto: I donít know, three million and a huge house would make me forgive anyone.

Victor: Not me. I took that then. Now is the perfect time to take revenge on Tommy. Pick me up at my house. (Hangs up)

Roberto: (Hangs up) Okay. (Sees 8-Ball at the car) Hey 8-Ball! (Runs over to him) Vic changed his mind. Heís coming with us. (Jumps into the car)

8-Ball: Just like you planned. (Gets into the car)

Roberto: (Revs the car up) Just like I planned. (Speeds off to Victorís house)

Saturday February 14th, 2007. 2:47 P.M.
Roberto arrives at the house and parks on the driveway. He gets out and tells 8-Ball to stay in the car and he will be right back. Roberto runs up into the house is completely shocked to see a Vercetti Family member holding a gun to Victorís head.

Roberto: (Stops in his tracks) VicÖwhat did you do?

Victor: Well, I might have gone off the limb here. Tommy told me to call him if I ever saw you. I called him, told him where you were and how to reach you.

Roberto: (Glares at Victor) So you ratted me out. I thought I knew you Vic, now I donít know who you are. (Looks at the Vercetti member) So why the hell are you pointing the gun at him? Heís the one helping you out.

Vercetti Member: Boss told me to leave no witnesses. That means him and you. (Cocks the gun)

Victor: (Looks up the gun barrel) Tommy told me nothing would happen to me!

Roberto: See Vic, Tommy doesnít care about you. He will do anything to get me.

Victor: Iím so sorry Roberto. (Pulls the shotgun from under the couch and blows a hole into the Vercetti memberís stomach)

Roberto: Just because you killed him doesnít change the fact that you backstabbed me. (The cell phone begins to ring and he picks it up) Hello?

Tommy: Surprised yet?

Roberto: Iím surprised at the fact that Vic just shot your gang member.

Tommy: (Pauses for a few seconds) I swear to god, that if that statement is true, you will be dead within the week.

Roberto: Well, then I have seven days to live, talk to you later Tommy. (Hangs up) Get the f*ck up Vic.

Victor: Iím so sorry Roberto. If I knew he was going to backstab me, I wouldnít have done it. (Starts to slowly stand up)

Roberto: (Looks Victor over) I should kill you now before I continue.

Victor: Please no. I wonít do it again I swear. Now that I know what Tommy will do, I wonít do it I swear.

Roberto: (Pulls out a pistol) I just need to be sure. (Shoots Victor in the leg) When you get the chance, meet me at 21978 Paddock Street. If I can trust you, then you should be there within three days. (Leaves the house with Victor bleeding on the floor)

Victor: (Yelling out to Roberto) Donít worry! Iíll see you in two days! (Collapses on the floor from blood loss)

Roberto: (Gets into the car) Weíll see him in a few days. (Pulls out of the driveway)

8-Ball: Donít you try to play what happened in there off. I heard the gun shots in there, what happened?

Roberto: Iíll explain on the way. (Heads back into a cloud of pollution called Carcer City)

Monday February 16th, 2007. 12:46 P.M.
Roberto is lying on a dirty sofa with clothes strewn everywhere. 8-Ball is lying on a makeshift sleeping bag on top of some clothes so it seems like a mattress. Roberto hears a buzz. He knows exactly who it is. He walks over and presses the button to answer the call.

Roberto: Who is it?

Victor: Itís me Roberto. Please let me up. Iíve really thought hard, and I want to join you against Tommy. I promise to make no more mistakes.

Roberto: (Thinks for a few seconds) Apartment 3C. (Presses the button for the door to open) Be quick. (In a few moments he hears a knock on the door and he opens it)

Victor: So do you forgive me Roberto?

Roberto: Welcome to the team Vic.

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#220

Posted 28 August 2006 - 02:01 AM

Dude sweet story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! biggrin.gif biggrin.gif biggrin.gif biggrin.gif rah.gif

Archaon, Lord of End Times
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#221

Posted 28 August 2006 - 03:02 AM

Great job, Cuban. icon14.gif Keep 'em comin'.

Rashon.
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#222

Posted 28 August 2006 - 03:18 AM

Another great chapter. Can't wait for the next. cookie.gif cookie.gif cookie.gif catloaf_by_anuj.gif catloaf_by_anuj.gif

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#223

Posted 28 August 2006 - 04:06 AM

Great chapters man. Loved the way you brought back Vic.

Can you believe that Claude guy? Jesus...

ClaudeTommyCJ_4_LiFe
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#224

Posted 28 August 2006 - 04:14 AM

QUOTE (GodfatherITB @ Aug 28 2006, 04:06)
Great chapters man. Loved the way you brought back Vic.

Can you believe that Claude guy? Jesus...

What about me Chrome Dome! devil.gif

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#225

Posted 28 August 2006 - 04:44 AM

QUOTE (ClaudeTommyCJ_4_LiFe @ Aug 28 2006, 04:14)
QUOTE (GodfatherITB @ Aug 28 2006, 04:06)
Great chapters man. Loved the way you brought back Vic.

Can you believe that Claude guy? Jesus...

What about me Chrome Dome! devil.gif

get the f*ck out of this story this wedsite and this f*cking world and stop f*cking spamming

ontopice cubanwhip great chapter

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#226

Posted 28 August 2006 - 06:46 AM

Dude I love this story and great chapter! icon14.gif

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#227

Posted 28 August 2006 - 04:46 PM

Good chapter again, But I found it a little weird that Vic would backstab Roberto and then plead forgiveness

Also I didn't understand why Roberto would of just shot him in the leg if he needs his help taking down Tommy bored.gif

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#228

Posted 28 August 2006 - 10:09 PM

hey bring on the next chapter man

Cubanwhip
  • Cubanwhip

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#229

Posted 29 August 2006 - 07:59 PM

Okay guys, this is the last chapter for a while, just letting you guys know. I need to concentrate on this week of school. Lots of tests. So next week, expect another chapter.

Chapter 40: A Burning Desire

Monday February 16th, 2007. 12:51 P.M.
Roberto is sitting in a chair across from the couch staring at Vic, meanwhile 8-Ball I still asleep on the floor. Roberto and Vic have not said a word to one another since he arrived. Vic is the first one to break the ice.

Victor: Why did you shoot me?

Roberto: If you really wanted to work with me, you wouldnít have cared if I shot you, you wouldíve come here anyways.

Victor: That doesnít make any sense.

Roberto: It does in my own way. (Leans back and interlocks his fingers)

Victor: So what do you plan on doing now?

Roberto: Well, I plan on killing Tommy obviously.

Victor: How? Itís easy to say you will, but it is always harder than it turns out to be.

Roberto: (Sniffs smoke) Whatís that smell?

Victor: (Starts to sniff around) Smells like something is burning.

Roberto: (Hears laughing outside of the building) Oh sh*t. Wake 8-Ball up, grab Jon and Melinda, and sit here. (Runs over to the window and pulls away the curtains) sh*t! I knew it. (Sees two Vercetti members laughing in front of the building with a can of gasoline and a lighter) They are burning this place down. (Sees 8-Ball waking up)

8-Ball: Yo, whatís that smell?

Roberto: Some of Tommyís men are burning this place down. (Hears a creak under the floor) We have to get out now! Vic, get your ass out here, now!

Victor: (Come out of the room carrying Melinda over his shoulder and Jon is rubbing his eyes next to him) Why?

Roberto: Tommy is burning this place down.

Jon: (Finally opens his eyes) What? Jesus, I knew it was going to happen again. Except this time, you didnít just break one room; you broke the entire apartment building. (Hears a crack and sees the floor in his room collapse) Oh sh*t!

Roberto: (sees the smoke pouring through the hole in the floor) We have to get out. (Kicks the front door to the apartment wide open and smoke pours through)

8-Ball: Weíre going to die.

Roberto: (Puts his arm over his nose) No, we are not. Follow me! (Runs out of the room and into the stairwell) sh*t, the stairs down are destroyed. The only way is up.

8-Ball: Oh come on! You know itís bad to run up to the roof of a building.

Victor: (Shoves past 8-Ball) Well, Iím not going to stand here and die.

Jon: (Follows Vic) Roberto, you better hope to god I donít live through this. If I do, I will kill you for Tommy.

8-Ball: God damn it. (Follows Vic up the stairs)

Roberto: (Finds the roof access door and kicks it in) Come on guys! (Hears a crack and crash downstairs) This place is falling apart! (Runs up onto the roof followed by 8-Ball, Jon, and Vic carrying Melinda) We need to find the fire escape ladder. (Hears a loud metal crashing noise followed by laughter that slowly fades away) Those f*cking Vercettiís donít know who theyíre messing with. (Runs over and looks over the edge of the building and sees the fire escape ladder in pieces on the floor) They took it down.

Jon: So now what, since you are the almighty one here?

Roberto: (Hears another crack) Everyone get the f*ck over here. (Everyone runs over and the floor under them collapses into a fiery inferno) We need to figure something out. Think, Roberto, think! (Hears another crack and crash) Iím out of ideas guys.

Jon: Thatís bullsh*t! You have an idea, but it will only save yourself! (Starts to pace the roof) You are going to wait for us to die before you spring your solo idea into play. (Hears a crackle under him and the roof disintegrates under his feet)

Victor: (Turns around and sees Jon disappear into the building) Jesus Christ! (Turns back to Roberto) What the hell are we going to do? Weíre all going to die!

Roberto: (Looks over the edge again and looks down fifteen stories) I donít know. There is no easy way out of this situation.

8-Ball: Then whatís the difficult way?

Roberto: Trying to scale the building downÖ

Victor: How is that possible?

Roberto: (Points over the ledge) We can use the window sills as steps. It might be too difficult for you Vic, with carrying Melinda and all.

8-Ball: (Runs to the edge and climbs over) Meet you at the bottom. (Begins his scaling)

Victor: (Places Melinda on the floor) Make up Melinda! Wake up!

Melinda: (Slowly opens her eyes) WhatÖwhere am I?

Victor: The building is burning down and we need to get down. I was carrying you this whole time.

Melinda: Well, that was very nice of you. (Looks around) Whereís Jonny?

Roberto: He died. I think.

Melinda: (Stands up and brushes herself off) What?! What do you mean you think?

Roberto: Well, sometimes its possible to survive falling down a fiery hole, with just major burns.

Melinda: (Starts to cry) No! Youíre lying! (Starts pounding Robertoís chest) Youíre lying to me!

Roberto: (Pushes Melinda off and at Vic) No time right now Melinda. We need to get off this roof. (Sees another section of the roof fall down)

Victor: Our only hope is scaling the building down.

8-Ball: (Yelling from the base of the building) Come on! The base of the building isnít going to hold up anymore!

Roberto: (Feels the building give a shudder) Now! Melinda you first!

Melinda: No! Iím going to stay here with my Jonny.

Roberto: (Grabs Melinda and pushes her at the edge) No! I wonít let that happen. You are going to climb down!

Melinda: (Looks Roberto in the eyes) I thought you hated me.

Roberto: With your boyfriend dead in everything, I decided to be nice for a change. Now start climbing!

Melinda: (Stares at Roberto for a few seconds) So, youíre not all bad under it all. (Goes over the edge and starts climbing down)

Roberto: (Turns around to face Vic) Okay, you want to go next?

Victor: (Looks around and sees the part of the roof with the roof access door fall through the roof) It would be nice. (Runs to the edge and begins his descent)

Roberto: (Looks around the roof and then hears a scream) What the hell? That sounded like Melinda! (Runs over and see Melinda hanging by one hand on the side of the building) Jesus Christ! Vic, help her out!

Victor: (Looks down and sees her) Hang on Melinda, Iíll get you! (Starts to speed up his descending pace)

Roberto: (Looks down then sees the Vercetti members returning down the street) sh*t! (Yells to 8-Ball) 8-Ball! Tommyís goons are coming back. Catch! (Throws his pistol down and 8-Ball catches it)

8-Ball: (Loads the gun and shoots both the Vercetti members in the chest and yells up to Roberto) Hurry up! The base is giving in!

Roberto: (The building gives another shudder) Damn. (Climbs over the edge and stats his descent down)

Victor: (Grabs one of Melindaís arm) I got you! Let go!

Melinda: (Looks down five stories then back at Vic) Iím afraid!

Victor: Donít be afraid, just let go and trust me!

Melinda: (Lets go and is being held on by Vic) Oh my god!

Victor: (Slowly starts to pull her up) I got you. Just hold on to me as hard as you can! (Puts Melinda on his back) Now, just hold on while I climb down.

Roberto: (While climbing looks down and sees Melinda is safe) Whew, that was a close one. (Feels the window sill give way under his foot and is now hanging on with one arm) sh*t!

8-Ball: (Looks up at Roberto) Oh sh*t, heís in trouble.

Roberto: (Starts to swing from side to side to get onto a sill next to him) JustÖneedÖenoughÖmomentum. (Lands his foot on the sill and jumps onto the next sill) I made it. (Continues climbing down)

Victor: (Finally makes it to the floor and hears sirens in the distance) I think the firefighters are coming.

Melinda: (Jumps off Victors back) That was so brave of you.

Victor: (Looks at Melinda) I used to do a lot of that back in the day.

Melinda: You used to rescue women from fires? You were a firefighter?

Victor: No, I was an ex-marine.

Melinda: Oh, an ex-marine.

Roberto: (Screaming from the sixth story) What are those sirens?

8-Ball: (Looks down his right and see a fire truck speeding down the street) Well, the fire truck is one! (Looks down his left) Oh sh*t, and the news is coming too!

Roberto: (Looks down) Oh f*ck. I canít be on the news. (Starts climbing down faster)

8-Ball: (Watches a news van speed up and brake) Uh oh.

News Anchor: (Runs over to 8-Ball with a microphone) What has happened here sir?

8-Ball: (Looks at the microphone then at the cameraman) Uh, the building is on fire.

Cameraman: (Starts a scan of the building and sees Roberto on the second floor) Oh sh*t, thereís a guy climbing down!

News Anchor: (Waves off 8-Ball and looks at the man) Holy sh*t your right! Did you get his face?

8-Ball: (Pulls out the pistol and shoots the camera) No he didnít.

News Anchor: (Stares at 8-Ball appalled) Why in the world did you do that?!

8-Ball: (Points the gun at the anchor and watches as Roberto hits the floor and runs over) Because my friend here doesnít want to be on the news.

News Anchor: (Looks at Roberto) Oh Jesus Christ, its Roberto Garcia!

Roberto: (Grabs the pistol) Yes, and Iím out of here. Melinda, Vic, we need to get out of here! (Runs down the street the news team came down followed by Vic, Melinda and 8-Ball)

Monday February 16th, 2007. 1:30 P.M.
8-Ball, Roberto, Victor, and Melinda are sitting in a diner. Coincidentally, itís the same diner as the one where Roberto met Leonardo, Arturo, and Renzo. Roberto is drinking a Sunring Extra, Melinda drinks an iced tea, Vic drinks a Distrine, and 8-Ball drinks a Mitch Light.

Roberto: (Takes a sip of his drink) So, you think Tommy would think we died?

8-Ball: Well, if he tries to contact his goons and they donít pick up, he might get suspicious.

Victor: Donít forget the news anchor. She might give as a Ďspecial reportí that Roberto was seen fleeing the burning building.

Roberto: (Leans back) Darn, well, I guess we still need a plan to make it look like I died.

8-Ball: We need to brainstorm.

Victor: No sh*t.

Roberto: (Takes another sip of his drink) Letís see. What is a way that us three can make it look like we died?

8-Ball: Not sure.

Victor: I got one! We start a huge cop chase.

8-Ball: What? What does that have to do with our faked deaths?

Victor: You didnít let me finish. We have the chase stretch the city and we can get the attention of the news. If we can get Tommy to watch the chase, then we start to head for a body of water. Now, 8-Ball rigs the car with a bomb and right at the last second, we bail from the car, but the explosion has to follow immediately so the light blurs us jumping out. Itís all timing.

8-Ball: (Laughing) Vic? You expect that to work?

Roberto: (hugs down the rest of his drink and wipes his lips) Thatís crazy Vic, so crazy that it is crazy enough to work. (Grins) Now, the question is, when do we set it into play?

Victor: Well, whenever you want to leave Carcer and kill Tommy.

Roberto: (Stands up) How about now?

8-Ball: (Stands up with Roberto) What?! Youíre crazy! We canít do it now!

Roberto: (Shoves past 8-Ball) We are. Weíll swing by your bomb shop 8-Ball, pick up some bombs, swing by Vicís and pick up some weapons. We should be ready to do this in approximately three hours.

Victor: (Stands up) Letís do this!

Melinda: (Stands up with Vic) Wait! What about me?

Roberto: You stay here Melinda, and stay out of trouble. (Looks at Vic and 8-Ball) You two, we need a car. (Heads out of the diner and into the parking lot with 8-Ball and Vic following) It looks like we got lucky guys, a Sentinel.

8-Ball: (Walks over to the Sentinel and breaks the window which causes the alarm to ring) sh*t!

Roberto: (Pulls out his pistol and shoots the car twice in the hood and the alarm slowly silences) There, problem fixed. (Reaches through the broken window and opens the doors) Get in boys; we got a bomb to rig.

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#230

Posted 29 August 2006 - 08:39 PM

Shear excellence, Cubanwhip. I've put a link on my site leading to this story.

Keep it up. icon14.gif cookie.gif cookie.gif cookie.gif cookie.gif catloaf_by_anuj.gif catloaf_by_anuj.gif

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#231

Posted 29 August 2006 - 10:41 PM

f*cking awesome.
Yet again, Rob stuns us with a brilliant cliffhanger and a brilliant twist, involving a character dying.
I know I'm not alone when I say, ROB, KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.

In Rob's name we pray, ay men.

=P
I'll be bugging him on MSN for details on the new chapter.
(God I'm just like the paparatzi for this story XD)

Archaon, Lord of End Times
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#232

Posted 29 August 2006 - 10:55 PM

Excellent work, Roberto. Keep going. icon14.gif

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#233

Posted 30 August 2006 - 12:28 AM

40 chapters? Holy cow. I've read up to chapter 8 so far and all is going well. biggrin.gif

I'd say keep 'em coming, but then i'd never catch up lol.gif

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#234

Posted 30 August 2006 - 01:39 AM

QUOTE (kippers @ Aug 29 2006, 20:28)
40 chapters? Holy cow. I've read up to chapter 8 so far and all is going well. biggrin.gif

I'd say keep 'em coming, but then i'd never catch up lol.gif

You will. Cubanwhip said he can't post another chapter until next week so you should get done by then.

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#235

Posted 30 August 2006 - 03:50 AM

Another great chapter dude!!!! I love your story's cliffhangers! icon14.gif icon14.gif icon14.gif icon14.gif icon14.gif

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#236

Posted 31 August 2006 - 01:16 AM

Even tho i cant physically pick it up...i cant put it down!

Keep up the good work Rob, great chapter.


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#237

Posted 01 September 2006 - 01:28 AM

FINALLY! Read all 40 chapters. Now i'm done with reading for the next year tounge.gif

Great stuff, great twists and great characters. The Mr. Grey thing got a bit unbelievable by the end so i'm glad that little bit ended. icon14.gif

I awat the next bit.

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#238

Posted 02 September 2006 - 09:39 PM

Order up! Here's another chapter! Gobble it up and enjoy.

Chapter 41: The Making of a Killer

Monday February 16th, 2007. 3:01 P.M.
Roberto is sitting in the Sentinel smoking a cigarette. He is parked in Vicís driveway and waiting for him to get back with the guns. 8-Ball is in the passenger seat fiddling around with the detonator to the bomb. Vic finally comes out of the house carrying an MP5 and M4.

Victor: (Opens the back car door and sits down) Okay. So I get the M4 and 8-Ball gets the MP5.

8-Ball: (Stops fiddling with the detonator) Hey, why donít I get the M4?

Roberto: (Grabs the MP5 from Vic and shoves it into 8-Ballís lap) Because you donít own the guns, so you get the sh*tty one.

8-Ball: Damn it. (Loads the MP5) So how is this going to go down?

Roberto: Easy, we speed a little causing a cop to pull us over. When he has me pulled over, you point your guns at him and tell him we donít want to get a ticket. I speed off and then it begins.

Victor: (Loads the M4) Yeah, easy. Now what about the finale?

8-Ball: When we are on the straightaway towards the water, we slightly open the doors. When we are airborne, Iíll say when to jump, and then Iíll detonate it at the precise time when we lean out.

Roberto: (Puts the car into gear) So we ready to do this?

Victor and 8-Ball: (Lift up their guns) Yeah.

Monday February 16th, 2007. 3:17 P.M.
Roberto is cruising down the main interstate to Carcer City looking for any police. None are in his site. He looks through the rearview and sees Vic polishing his M4 like if it was his baby. 8-Ball I still messing around with the detonator, ignoring the gun he has set on the glove compartment.

Roberto: Thereís never a cop around when you want one.

8-Ball: Yep, I hear that.

Vic: (Finishes polishing the M4) It canít be that hard? Are you only looking at the road?

8-Ball: (Turns around and looks at Vic) No sh*t we are. Where else would they be?

Roberto: (Interrupts and points to a small little roadside brush) Hiding in there.

8-Ball: (Looks closely and sees the glint of metal in there) That is definitely a police cruiser.

Roberto: (Starts to put more pressure on the gas) Let the game begin guys. (Hears a siren wailing behind him and see a white police cruiser with single blue stripe running down the side)

Police Officer: (Yelling through the loud speaker on the cruiser) Pull over, you are going over the speed limit.

Roberto: (Turns to 8-Ball) Letís do as the man tells us. (Slows down the car and pulls onto the side of the road) Now you guys hide your guns and pull them out when I give the signal.

Police Officer: (Pulls the car behind the Sentinel and walks over to the driverís window) Do you know how fast you were going?

Roberto: (Looks at the cop and grins) I donít know, but you should, you pulled me over.

Police Officer: (Pulls out a pad from his pocket) A smart ass, huh? Give me your license and registration.

Roberto: (Sits there staring at the cop) Well, you see officer, Iím not carrying my license on me.

Police Officer: (Looks at Roberto from behind his aviators) Give me your name and address, and your registration too.

Roberto: (Looks at 8-Ball then at Vic, then back at the officer) Officer, Iím surprised! A police officer has no clue who I am.

Police Officer: (Looks Roberto over in the car) No. Should I?

Roberto: (Lowers the back window and an M4 sticks out) Iím Roberto Garcia.

Victor: (Fires a few rounds past the copís body) Now try to catch us!

Roberto: (Starts to burnout) Good day officer. (Peels out doing one hundred down the road)

Police Officer: (Runs a few feet after the Sentinel) My god, I need back-upÖ

Monday February 16th, 2007. 3:26 P.M.
Roberto is speeding down the interstate and takes a quick exit into Carcer City. Police sirens roar behind the car. Shots are being fired at the car. 8-Ball occasionally pops his head out of the sun roof to shoot out some police cruisers. Vic has half his body out of the window shooting down helicopters as the pass over head. The roads are empty of all traffic. The cops blocked off the entire surrounding areas, making it difficult to find a way to water.

Roberto: (Handbrake turns a tight corner and is heading down a dirt road) Damn construction zones. They never tell you when they start and end. (Reaches the end of the road and resumes back onto a long, straight road)

Victor: (Shoots down a helicopter from the sky) Guys, Iím running low on ammo. You may have to take over soon 8-Ball.

8-Ball: (Pops the tire of a police cruiser causing it to slip and crash into a neighboring cruiser) I donít know how long I can keep this up.

Roberto: Oh stop being such whiny bitches. Just point and shoot. Whatís so hard about that?

Victor: (Sacks Roberto across the back of the head) It sounds easy when you say it like that, but when weíre doing a hundred and being pelted with bullets from choppers, it really ainít that easy.

8-Ball: (Pops his head and fires a clip into the windshield of a police cruiser) So far, I canít penetrate those windshields. They are bullet proof.

Roberto: (Picks up the cell phone) Vic, make sure to get the newsís attention. Make them have the searchlight on the car.

Victor: (Points his gun out the window and fires two or three shots at the news chopper. He then proceeds to yell obscene remarks at them) Hey you f*cking pigs! Down here! (A searchlight shines in his face and pop his head back into the car) Okay, the lights on us.

Roberto: (Dials Tommyís house number and gets Tommy to pick up) Hello? Tommy!

Tommy: (Sounds calm and collected) What do you want?

Roberto: You donít sound too surprised. After you tried that whole burning the house down thing, you ainít mad?

Tommy: You thought I think that would work? I hated those guys I sent. I sent them to their execution. You just did me a favor.

Roberto: So are we even? We friends?

Tommy: Are you kidding me?! You can never be my friend, ever again!

Roberto: Well, you donít have to worry about me anymore, Iím going out with a bang.

Tommy: I donít quite follow.

Roberto: Turn on the television and flip to national news.

Tommy: (Leaves the line for a few minutes then finally returns) So, you want to die with the cops hot on your tail?

Roberto: The way you would have wanted to Tommy, Iím just living out your dreams.

Tommy: You listen here you wise cracking son of a bitch, if this is one of those game where you Ďpretendí to die, and then come back, I am onto you.

Roberto: Tommy, you donít understand. When I said bang, I meant Ďbangí. I have a bomb rigged to the car. Iím going to blow this piece of sh*t up if we get cornered or something.

Tommy: Well, you know what. Iím going to stay tuned to see if you keep your word.

Roberto: Donít worry, Tommy, it will. (Hangs up the phone) Hook, line, and sinker. (Speeds up and is now on a straightaway to a pier) Get ready guys.

Victor: (Looks out the windshield at the fast approaching pier) This is itÖ

8-Ball: The moment this is all lead up to.

Police Chopper Pilot: (Yelling over a megaphone down at the Sentinel) There is no way out. We have you cornered. Stop the car!

Roberto: (Slowly sticks his hand out the window and flips off the pilot) f*ck you!

Police Chopper Pilot: (Gets frustrated) God damn it! Get the mini-gun ready.

Gunner: (Loads the mini-gun) Finally, I get to use this thing!

Roberto: (Looks through the side mirror and sees the Gunner pushing the mini-gun barrel out of the side door) Oh sh*t. Theyíre pulling out the big guns.

Victor: (Looks through the rear windshield and sees the mini-gun) Uh oh.

Gunner: (Pulls the trigger and starts launching the bullets into the Sentinel) Oh yeah baby!

Victor: (Ducks and watches the bullets plow through the rear windshield and out the front windshield) sh*t!

Roberto: (Slams his foot on the accelerator) Get ready, ten seconds in counting.

Gunner: (Continues firing) This is so much fun!

8-Ball: (Ducking and looking at the pier) Oh sh*tÖ (Puts his finger over the detonator)

Victor: (Looks back and sees the back tires leave the pier) JesusÖ

Roberto: Now!

8-Ball: (Slightly opens the door and hits the detonator as he slowly rolls out of the car)

Roberto: (Slips out of the car and sees a bright light blur everything out. Time seems to stop as he falls down at the water. The water feels like a thousand needles piercing his skin. It knocks him out. The last thing he saw was Vic falling out of the car)

Wednesday September 7th, 2001. 11:41 P.M.
A boy, around the age of fifteen is lying down in his dark bedroom on a stiff mattress. The only thing he hears is the traffic passing by the house. He has been trying to fall asleep for a while because there was a test in school tomorrow, until he hears a crack somewhere inside the house. He lies perfectly still and listens closely to what is happening.

Robber #1: (Whispering) Hey, keep it down! The point is not to wake anyone up!

Robber #2: (Whispering) Sorry.

Robber #1: (Makes his way into the kitchen) Okay, take only the expensive sh*t, leave everything else. (Hears something behind him) Did you hear that?

Robber #2: (Looks around) Hear what?

Robber #1: Sounded like footsteps.

Robber #2: (Pulls out a Colt Python) Is anyone there?

Robber #1: (Slaps Robber #2 in the back of the head) Are you retarded Mike? They arenít going to respond.

Mike: Sorry, Danny. (Starts to walk around the house carefully looking for anything suspicious)

Danny: (Grabs a bunch of silver spoons, forks, and knives) sh*t, they must be rich as f*ck! This is real silver!

Mike: (Sees something run into the living room) Hey! Mike, someoneís up and about.

Danny: (Looks up at Mike) What? Find them and kill them.

Mike: (Sees something shivering behind the couch) Got youÖ (Grabs the body and sees it a little girl around the age of ten) Oh crapÖ Danny! Itís a little girl.

Danny: (Puts down the bag of silverware) What? (Walks over and sees the little girl) Oh, isnít she adorableÖ

Mike: (Looks at the girl) She is cute isnít sheÖ (His eyes start to glaze over)

Danny: (Punches Mike in the arm) Hey! We came here to rob the place, not to relieve ourselves you f*cking pervert. Knock her out and leave her.

Mike: Just for a bit Danny, please?

Danny: (Walks over to Mike) Put her down, now. I donít want to deal with this now. (Walks back to the kitchen)

Mike: (Waits until Danny is out of sight) Come here little girlÖ (Starts to undo his pants)

Girl: (Stares at Mike) NoÖ Mommy! Daddy!

Mike: (Looks at the girl with anger filling his face) You rotten little bitch! (Slaps the girl across the face, knocking her out)

Danny: (Runs back over to Mike and sees his pants undone) f*ck! I told you not to do it! Now weíre screwed!

Mom: (Runs into the kitchen and turns on the light and sees the burglars) Oh my god! Honey, call the cops!

Dad: (Hears the mom and runs over to the nearest phone) sh*t!

Danny: (Looks at Mike, then the mom) This is all your fault Mike! If you just kept your sick mind out of thisÖ (Pulls out the pistol and puts a bullet into the motherís head) ÖThat wouldnít have happened!

Dad: (Hears the bullet shot and drops the phone without dialing the number) No! (Runs to the kitchen and sees the wifeís brains splattered across the refrigerator) You bustards!

Danny: (Looks at the dad and shoots him) Mike, kill that little girl, and donít you dare think of anything else. Iím going to check the rooms for anyone else. (Storms out of the living room)

Mike: (Looks at the little girl) Damn it, I thought I might get some tonight. (Bends down and snaps the little girlís neck) Iím sorry little girl.

Teen: (The fifteen year old heard everything that happened and just stayed in his room pretending to sleep. He then hears his door open and sees it the robber. He thinks to himself) ďThis is it, the end.Ē

Danny: (Sees a lump in the bed and shoots it) I guess this one didnít want to get involved. Oh well.

Teen: (Feels the bullet graze his shoulder and tries to stay silent until the robbers finally leave the house. This was the night his life changed. He wouldnít know it then, but those robbers destroyed his life)

Monday February 16th, 2007. 6:02 P.M.
The sun is setting and Roberto is lying on a small beach like area. He is still in a resting state but quickly starts to awaken to 8-Ball and Vic chatting about various subjects at the waterís edge. Roberto doesnít know where he is, but it looks too familiar for it to be good.

Roberto: (Slowly sits up and calls out to 8-Ball) Hey, 8-Ball, where are we?

8-Ball: (Turns around and looks at Roberto) Hey! Youíre awake finally.

Roberto: (Stands up and walks over to 8-Ball and Vic) Where the f*ck are we?

Vic: Well, I donít know if it would be good news, or bad news.

Roberto: (Looks at Vic) Just tell me, and Iíll be the judge of that.

8-Ball: (Points into the dark horizon) You see that stadium?

Roberto: (Squints his eyes and sees it) Yeah, it looks awfully familiar, but I donít know from where. Where are we?

Vic: We are in your favorite city.

Roberto: (Looks back at the stadium and immediately recognizes it) f*ck, Liberty.

8-Ball: Yep, Shoreside to be exact.

Roberto: (Kicks the sand) Now how are we going to get to Vice?

Vic: (Stands up and looks at Roberto face to face) Stop bitching. What was your plan if we just floated in the water at Carcer?

Roberto: (Stays silent and turns around) Letís go. We need to find a way out of Liberty.

8-Ball: What? We get out of one city, and bam, we are in another. Next thing you know, weíll be in Capitol City.

Roberto: I have no idea how to get out. The only obvious way would be to sneak into the airport and steal a chopper or plane.

Vic: That would seem like fun. Letís do it.

Roberto: Do what?

Vic: Steal a plane of course. (Walks over to a parked car in a small parking lot on top of the beach)

Roberto: (Thinks about the idea) Well, itís worth a try. (Follows Vic up to the car)

8-Ball: (Looks at Roberto and Vic as they walk to the car) Damn it! One day these mother f*ckers are going to kill themselves! (Runs up to the car)

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#239

Posted 02 September 2006 - 10:48 PM

Bravo!
tounge.gif
He told me on MSN that he wouldn't have it till tomarrow.
I'm really happy he had it today though.
Can't wait untill we get the next chapter!

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#240

Posted 03 September 2006 - 04:06 PM

nice




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