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Cubanwhip
  • Cubanwhip

    We're always holding the door open for someone.

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#541

Posted 04 September 2007 - 02:17 AM Edited by Cubanwhip, 04 September 2007 - 02:19 AM.

Yeah, yeah. Guys it's a joke. But i mean, seriously. I already posted the actual chapter 75. Of course, not in here, and not in any active topics. I just edited a really, really old post of mine with it. Now, you can try and try to look for it, or there's an easier way...

Lol, you thought I'd actually put it in spoilers. Well, here's a hint, two clicks and you're there. Starting on this page.

TonyZimmzy
  • TonyZimmzy

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#542

Posted 04 September 2007 - 02:33 AM

Finally you posted it was a joke you cum guzzler biggrin.gif I was like "Ahh why are you making all the fans of your story angry they're gonna give up hope!"

Well anyway, I already read it, it was, of course, the greatest ending of any story of all time. Goodluck to everybody trying to find it. A hint from me: The post was edited in one of the GTA game's sub-forums, or as Roberto said, two clicks from here and you'll find it. I see it as a game for fun to find the final chapter, some of you might be pissed off and give up hope. If you give up, you've missed out on the best damn ending EVAR!

I followed from 2006, read this story forever, made a best friend on msn in young Cubanwhip and was inspired to write myself, so this story ending is incredibly sad and incredibly satisfying also. *Wipes tear from eye*

poikly
  • poikly

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#543

Posted 04 September 2007 - 08:11 AM Edited by poikly, 04 September 2007 - 10:27 AM.

Just started reading.
I am upto chapter 15. The best fanfic I have read so far. Well done cubanwhip! cookie.gif

Jam!
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#544

Posted 04 September 2007 - 10:08 PM

Wow. I've been reading this story for a long time, and it's finally over. The ending was really sad, but this was the best story I've ever read. Ever. icon14.gif

Cubanwhip
  • Cubanwhip

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#545

Posted 04 September 2007 - 10:12 PM

Sad? What are you guys talking about?! It ended with a Bar-B-Q. How is that sad?! THEY ALL GOT HOT-DOGS AND HAMBURGERS!

HawaiianHardHitter
  • HawaiianHardHitter

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#546

Posted 05 September 2007 - 03:03 AM

A most brilliant ending to a most brilliant story braddah! Nice to see that you ended it the way you wanted it to be ended. icon14.gif Almost had me lost hope of finding it, until I looked closely. monocle.gif

Rashon.
  • Rashon.

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#547

Posted 06 September 2007 - 01:45 AM

Well, it's finally over. The best fan fic I've ever read here. I hardly have anything else to say I give this story two claws up. Argh-Argh. icon14.gif icon14.gif

Edit: Ooh, and the joke chapter was hilarious.

Vanilla Shake
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#548

Posted 06 September 2007 - 02:09 AM

I'm speechless. That is without a doubt one of the greatest endings I've ever read for a fanfic.

A brilliant ending to a brilliant story. Magnificent work my friend. icon14.gif

You've definitely exceeded my expectations. And Happy Birthday.

gtacharlie
  • gtacharlie

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#549

Posted 06 September 2007 - 03:46 AM Edited by gtacharlie, 06 September 2007 - 03:48 AM.

The best story I've ever read!!!!! icon14.gif icon14.gif icon14.gif icon14.gif icon14.gif icon14.gif

Edit: Happy Birthday! I hope you got your iPod biggrin.gif

Ryunday
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#550

Posted 06 September 2007 - 08:10 AM

Lol I just found the last chapter I was searching for it and then it hit me were to look. Anyway that was defiantly the greatest ending to a fan fic I have ever seen. I wont say to much because it could be a spoiler to anyone that wasn’t found it yet. But this is defiantly the greatest fan fic ever written.

And happy birthday.

Moth
  • Moth

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#551

Posted 09 September 2007 - 04:33 AM

The General. Walks in two days latter

Oh man the story is finish and it was the best fanfic i have read and you screw it up with the last chapter. Nay just kidding man. I hope you come up with another story soon

And in the old way

Peace out biggrin.gif

Archaon, Lord of End Times
  • Archaon, Lord of End Times

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#552

Posted 15 September 2007 - 11:53 PM

Excellent story, Rob. Salut' for bringing it to the end, which so many writers fail to do here. icon14.gif

Cubanwhip
  • Cubanwhip

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#553

Posted 17 September 2007 - 10:06 PM

I decided to actually post the chapter in here. Make it easier and for those who didn't read it, here it is. That joke chapter was not it. And if you believed it, well shame on you.


Chapter 75: Just a Small Job

Saturday July 4th, 2007. 10:11 A.M. Catalina’s Office Cartel Mansion, Starfish Island; Vice City.
The doors burst open and slam into the walls. Roberto walks through them slowly and grabs them as they bounce back, shutting them. He turns around and locks them and looks at Catalina. She stares at him, red consuming her face. She reaches under the desk and pulls out an AK-47. She points it at Roberto and slowly stands up. Roberto casually walks over and takes a seat across the desk, looking down the barrel of the gun.

Roberto: Hello, Catalina.

Catalina: You?! What are you doing here?!

Roberto: Tying up loose ends.

Catalina: What did I tell you if you didn’t leave?!

Roberto: (Leans back a grabs his chin with his left hand) Nothing. You just said there was no way I could resist; nothing about coming back and staying. Or maybe coming back and taking revenge.

Catalina: Well! You know what happens now right?!

Roberto: You put the gun down and we talk like decent human beings?

Catalina: (Laughs) Put the gun down?! Why would I even think about doing that?!

Roberto: I don’t know… (Pulls out the detonator) There’s about enough C4 in this basement to blow up this island, and a little. I got a friend to sneak in and stick one stick with the others. (Waves the detonator)

Catalina: (Looks at the detonator) Mentiroso! You don’t have the balls to blow this place up! You’re sitting right in it!

Roberto: (Stands up and keeps the detonator in hand) True. But I’ve been thinking lately about life…

Catalina: (Starts to circle around Roberto, the gun pointed at his body, but her eyes on the detonator) Oh yeah? What about it?

Roberto: Everything I’ve done, it has all caused pain. Nothing good has come out of anything I have ever done. I’ve killed Tommy, Joey, Kelsey, in a way.

Catalina: How did you manage to hurt that bitch?

Roberto: I don’t know. I guess I still have her believing I never betrayed her father. She’s living a fantasy. She thinks I’m an ideal fiancé who can defend her and take no bullsh*t, but sometimes takes it too far. I don’t know.

Catalina: Aw, pobrecito, cry me a f*cking river. You had me! I didn’t have no father or anything! We were perfect!

Roberto: (Turns around and looks at her) But, honestly, it wouldn’t have worked out…

Catalina: (Her face flushes and she grips the gun even tighter) Liar! Take that back! (Fires the gun, shooting at the far wall)

Roberto: (Crouches slightly and looks at the bullets hitting the wall) Man, Catalina, take it easy. You’re taking this like some little girl who got her heart broken. Deal with it.

Catalina: (Throws the AK on the desk and pulls out her knife) Little girl? Little girl?! I’ll show you who’s little! (Dashes over and puts the knife to Roberto’s neck)

Roberto: (Swallows hard and looks down the blade at Catalina) Oh jeez, come on. Put the knife down and stop throwing these fits. (Grabs her wrist and forces the knife out of her hand) Face it, I’m not afraid of you anymore.

Catalina: (Drops the knife and takes a few steps, looking Roberto in the eyes) Who are you? Tu es el diablo! You’re not Roberto!

Roberto: After everything I’ve been through, the killing, the betraying, the explosions, everything; I guess that’s just what I’ve become. I’ve done enough damage, and I can’t do anymore. My life is a complete and total mess and no matter how much I try to fix it, I can’t.

Catalina: I can’t be last on you’re ‘to-do’ list?!

Roberto: (Thinks back) No, you’re not. I had other plans…but if I go through with them, things will only get worse. I mean really, assassinating President Toreno. I wouldn’t make it farther than the street I’m on. I’d be shot on site.

Catalina: Kill President Toreno?!

Roberto: (Closes his eyes and sighs) Long story. All I really ever wanted was to grow up, get married, and live a good life ever since I was fifteen… until that night, when it all changed. Fate had different plans for me. And I’m here, because of it. At one point, I thought I was starting up that life, but then I saw Toreno…

Catalina: Why…don’t you go and kill him, then come back…

Roberto: (Chuckles) Seriously. How pathetic trying to get rid of me, like that. I think you were more threatening with the gun.

Catalina: (Starts to get frustrated) Listen; I’m starting to get sick of your little game. Either press that f*cking button or just be a man and fight!

Roberto: (Looks at the detonator) Can you do something for me?

Catalina: What is it?

Roberto: (Smiles)

Saturday July 4th, 2007. 10:26 A.M. Starfish Island Gates, Starfish Island; Vice City.
Cesar and Dylan sit inside the car, looking around nervously. Roberto is no where in sight and six minutes have passed. Dylan finally breaks the awkward silence.

Dylan: So he’s in the mansion… and he’s going to blow it up… while he’s inside?!

Cesar: I don’t know! He was joking about it earlier!

Dylan: Well, he was joking! He can’t be serious. He still has Toreno to contend with. He can’t just blow himself up and let him on the loose.

Cesar: Let’s hope he…comes… (Looks up and sees three Hunter helicopters come swooping out of the sky) Oh sh*t…

Dylan: (Looks through the rear window and sees the military shutting off Starfish Island) You don’t think…

Cesar: (Watches as a Barracks OL pulls up and an army lieutenant comes out) Stay cool…

Miller: (Approaches the Glendale and knocks on the window) Open up!

Cesar: (Rolls down the window) Yes, sir?

Miller: We need you to leave the area. We need this place cleared of all civilians. (Looks straight back) Leave through that barricade. They should let you through.

Cesar: Alright, sir. (Rolls up the window and looks at Dylan) What’s Roberto doing?!

Dylan: I don’t know. Let’s just get out of here. That lieutenant keeps giving me a weird look…

Cesar: (Glances at Miller and sees him staring at Dylan) Yeah, alright let’s go. (Starts the car up and turns around, heading back through the gates)

Miller: (Watches the Glendale leave) Tail them… (Watches one Barrack turn around and start following the Glendale) The rest of you, evacuate every home on this island. (Looks around and sees everyone standing) Don’t just stand there! This place is a f*cking bomb, and we need it completely evacuated! Move! Move! Move!

Saturday July 4th, 2007. 10:28 A.M. Catalina’s Office Cartel Mansion, Starfish Island; Vice City.
Roberto is sitting in a chair and looking at the detonator while Catalina stands at the window and watches the Hunter’s circle the mansion. She turns around and glares at Roberto. Roberto looks up and smiles.

Catalina: What do you plan to accomplish?! Why did you involve the army in this?! Couldn’t you just blow this god damn place up, without the army and press?!

Roberto: I could’ve, but then, they would just think it was you who died.

Catalina: What?

Roberto: (Stands up) See, they think I’m dead. So they will never think of me being dead in the rubble. Just you.

Catalina: Why do you care?!

Roberto: Maybe I want them to think of me as dieing twice. I don’t know. It seems more fun when everyone is watching. More intense.

Catalina: What?

Roberto: Think of it as… the martyrdom of Saint Me.

Catalina: I think you are just procrastinating. You won’t do it. You’ll keep talking until the army finally raids and kills you. That will be the end.

Roberto: Sure. (Starts to walk towards the window, next to Catalina) Believe what you want to believe. (Watches a hunter pass the window)

Catalina: (Hears banging on the office doors) Here’s my men! (Starts walking to the door)

Roberto: Don’t… (Turns around and looks at Catalina) Don’t open those doors…

Catalina: Why not? (Stops and looks at him)

Roberto: Just don’t…

Saturday July 4th, 2007. 10:35 A.M. Umberto Robina’s House, Little Havana; Vice City.
Cesar pulls up into the driveway and looks at Dylan. He motions to look through the rearview. Dylan looks and sees a Barracks parked one block down. They both get out and walk into the house. Cesar locks and chains the door.

Cesar: Looks like we were tailed.

Dylan: You think?!

Cesar: Look, there’s no way they can link us to Roberto. We were just-

Dylan: Parked on the side of the road, halfway on the sidewalk while still sitting in the car?

Cesar: Good point. Just don’t say anything that could link us to him.

Dylan: Aren’t we inside Roberto’s uncle’s place?

Cesar: (Looks around) Oh… yeah… (Hears banging on the door) Hide!

Saturday July 4th, 2007. 10:30 A.M. Catalina’s Office Cartel Mansion, Starfish Island; Vice City.
Catalina is sitting down on a chair in front of the desk. Bullets line the doors and Roberto is standing, looking out the windows, the AK-47 thrown on the floor. The banging on the door has stopped.

Roberto: You know, I never thought they would have to call the entire Vice army on me. (Chuckles)

Catalina: Laugh all you want!

Roberto: Catalina, take it easy. Take that pipe out of your ass and relax.

Catalina: (Stands up) Cierre su boca! Hijo de puta!

Roberto: (Ignores her and watches the Hunter’s circle around the mansion) I wonder if Cesar and Dylan got away okay…

Saturday July 4th, 2007. 10:36 A.M. Umberto Robina’s House, Little Havana; Vice City.
Bullets spray across the room and Cesar and Dylan dive over the kitchen counter. Four men rush through the door and take cover behind various objects in the living room. Cesar takes out his pistol and checks the magazine.

Cesar: Dylan you got to cover me!

Dylan: (Takes his pistol) Alright! I’ll try!

Cesar: (Stands up and starts firing at the men)

Dylan: (Looks around the corner of the counter and fires)

Cesar: (Sees one man come out behind the couch with an M4 and fire at him)

Dylan: (Looks up and sees Cesar fall backwards and slump against the far kitchen wall) Cesar!

Cesar: (Drops the pistol and looks over Dylan, slowly closing his eyes)

Dylan: (Throws the pistol and comes out with his hands over his head)

Army General: (Runs over with his gun aimed at Dylan’s head) Get on the floor! Hands on your head!

Dylan: (Gets on his knees then looks at the door, slowly swinging opened and closed)

Army General: (Shoves Dylan on the floor and puts one foot on his back) You’re under arrest for aiding and abetting Roberto Garcia. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to have an attorney present during questioning. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand the rights I have just read to you? With these rights in mind, do you wish to speak to me?

Saturday July 4th, 2007. 10:35 A.M. Catalina’s Office Cartel Mansion, Starfish Island; Vice City.
Roberto is standing near a stereo system on the left side of the room. He looks through the CD’s and finds a Beethoven CD. He takes it out of the case and slips it into the stereo.

Roberto: Do you enjoy Beethoven? (The song ‘Ave Maria’ starts playing) I think that he is regarded as one of the greatest masters of musical construction, along with Bach and Brahms. I stress the word, ‘master’. Even after his gradual loss of hearing beginning in his twenties, he still wrote masterpieces and even after he went completely deaf, he still conducted and performed. His Symphony 5 is one of his most famous works. It is his signature orchestral masterpiece.

Catalina: (Scoffs) Well, good for him…

Roberto: (Walks back over to the window) Catalina, what did I tell you about your attitude?

Catalina: (Stands up) Enough! This game, or whatever you call this, is over! Walking around, talking about music and telling me my attitude is wrong! Enough is enough! (Walks over to a shelf and pulls out a Python)

Roberto: Fine. You want to end this game?

Catalina: Yes!

Roberto: You really want to?

Catalina: Yes!

Roberto: Well… (Looks Catalina in the eyes)

Catalina: Well what?

Roberto: I’m sorry.

Catalina: Sorry for what?

Roberto: I’m sorry for all the people in the world I’ve hurt… I guess… (Slides his finger over the detonator and pushes the button)

Saturday July 4th, 2007. 10:38 A.M. Umberto Robina’s House, Little Havana; Vice City.
Dylan is thrown into the back of police cruiser that has just arrived. He watches as the Barracks drives away and an Ambulance arrives. The paramedics get out of the Ambulance and rush into the house. Dylan watches as an obese cop gets into the cruiser and strains while he sits down.

Dylan: You should lay off the donuts.

Cop: Why don’t you shut the f*ck up you piece of sh*t. The state is nailing you to a wall. You’ve been seen hanging around with Roberto and you were also, at one point, told to be wired and follow him, but that didn’t work out very well… did it?

Dylan: Just f*cking drive… (Looks out the window)

Cop: Yeah, that’s right. (Looks through the rearview window) And when we get Roberto… well… let’s just say- (Watches a huge fireball erupt from the distance) What the-

Dylan: (Hears every window shatter and explode) sh*t! (Looks at the cop start shaking) “I’m out of here! (Kicks the back door repeatedly) Enjoy you’re heart attack, fat ass. (Finally kicks open the back door and jumps out, running)

Tuesday July 4th, 2008. 1:27 P.M. Remains of Starfish Island; Vice City.
Half of Starfish Island is underwater, the other half, full of rubble. The bridges have collapsed and there is no way to reach the island, other than by boat and even then, good luck trying to get on it. A memorial for all those who died that day was erected on the Mainland side, where the bridge used to connect. Only one name is not mentioned on it. A blue Bobcat pulls up to the memorial. A man and a woman step out. The man has a goatee and a jacket. The woman has long, brown flowing hair and she’s carrying a baby. They walk up to the memorial and start reading the names.

Man: You know, they’ll mention Catalina’s name, but they completely erase him from existence…

Woman: I can’t believe she got him and killed him…

Man: (Pulls out a knife and starts carving Roberto Garcia into the memorial) You think they’ll erase it again? Like last time?

Woman: Yeah, you know they will. (The baby starts crying) It’s okay Cassie. (Looks at Dylan) I think it’s time we got out of here, before they find out who’s doing it.

Dylan: I think they know who it is. (Reads the etched name)

Woman: (Walks up next to him) You think he’ll be remembered?

Dylan: I don’t know. Maybe. (Looks at her) But I’ll still come here, and carve his name, just for him… (Looks back at the name one more time) Let’s go… (Walks back to the Bobcat, the woman following close behind)

poikly
  • poikly

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#554

Posted 18 September 2007 - 02:47 PM

QUOTE (Cubanwhip @ Sep 17 2007, 22:06)
I decided to actually post the chapter in here. Make it easier and for those who didn't read it, here it is. That joke chapter was not it. And if you believed it, well shame on you.


Chapter 75: Just a Small Job

Saturday July 4th, 2007. 10:11 A.M. Catalina’s Office Cartel Mansion, Starfish Island; Vice City.
The doors burst open and slam into the walls. Roberto walks through them slowly and grabs them as they bounce back, shutting them. He turns around and locks them and looks at Catalina. She stares at him, red consuming her face. She reaches under the desk and pulls out an AK-47. She points it at Roberto and slowly stands up. Roberto casually walks over and takes a seat across the desk, looking down the barrel of the gun.

Roberto: Hello, Catalina.

Catalina: You?! What are you doing here?!

Roberto: Tying up loose ends.

Catalina: What did I tell you if you didn’t leave?!

Roberto: (Leans back a grabs his chin with his left hand) Nothing. You just said there was no way I could resist; nothing about coming back and staying. Or maybe coming back and taking revenge.

Catalina: Well! You know what happens now right?!

Roberto: You put the gun down and we talk like decent human beings?

Catalina: (Laughs) Put the gun down?! Why would I even think about doing that?!

Roberto: I don’t know… (Pulls out the detonator) There’s about enough C4 in this basement to blow up this island, and a little. I got a friend to sneak in and stick one stick with the others. (Waves the detonator)

Catalina: (Looks at the detonator) Mentiroso! You don’t have the balls to blow this place up! You’re sitting right in it!

Roberto: (Stands up and keeps the detonator in hand) True. But I’ve been thinking lately about life…

Catalina: (Starts to circle around Roberto, the gun pointed at his body, but her eyes on the detonator) Oh yeah? What about it?

Roberto: Everything I’ve done, it has all caused pain. Nothing good has come out of anything I have ever done. I’ve killed Tommy, Joey, Kelsey, in a way.

Catalina: How did you manage to hurt that bitch?

Roberto: I don’t know. I guess I still have her believing I never betrayed her father. She’s living a fantasy. She thinks I’m an ideal fiancé who can defend her and take no bullsh*t, but sometimes takes it too far. I don’t know.

Catalina: Aw, pobrecito, cry me a f*cking river. You had me! I didn’t have no father or anything! We were perfect!

Roberto: (Turns around and looks at her) But, honestly, it wouldn’t have worked out…

Catalina: (Her face flushes and she grips the gun even tighter) Liar! Take that back! (Fires the gun, shooting at the far wall)

Roberto: (Crouches slightly and looks at the bullets hitting the wall) Man, Catalina, take it easy. You’re taking this like some little girl who got her heart broken. Deal with it.

Catalina: (Throws the AK on the desk and pulls out her knife) Little girl? Little girl?! I’ll show you who’s little! (Dashes over and puts the knife to Roberto’s neck)

Roberto: (Swallows hard and looks down the blade at Catalina) Oh jeez, come on. Put the knife down and stop throwing these fits. (Grabs her wrist and forces the knife out of her hand) Face it, I’m not afraid of you anymore.

Catalina: (Drops the knife and takes a few steps, looking Roberto in the eyes) Who are you? Tu es el diablo! You’re not Roberto!

Roberto: After everything I’ve been through, the killing, the betraying, the explosions, everything; I guess that’s just what I’ve become. I’ve done enough damage, and I can’t do anymore. My life is a complete and total mess and no matter how much I try to fix it, I can’t.

Catalina: I can’t be last on you’re ‘to-do’ list?!

Roberto: (Thinks back) No, you’re not. I had other plans…but if I go through with them, things will only get worse. I mean really, assassinating President Toreno. I wouldn’t make it farther than the street I’m on. I’d be shot on site.

Catalina: Kill President Toreno?!

Roberto: (Closes his eyes and sighs) Long story. All I really ever wanted was to grow up, get married, and live a good life ever since I was fifteen… until that night, when it all changed. Fate had different plans for me. And I’m here, because of it. At one point, I thought I was starting up that life, but then I saw Toreno…

Catalina: Why…don’t you go and kill him, then come back…

Roberto: (Chuckles) Seriously. How pathetic trying to get rid of me, like that. I think you were more threatening with the gun.

Catalina: (Starts to get frustrated) Listen; I’m starting to get sick of your little game. Either press that f*cking button or just be a man and fight!

Roberto: (Looks at the detonator) Can you do something for me?

Catalina: What is it?

Roberto: (Smiles)

Saturday July 4th, 2007. 10:26 A.M. Starfish Island Gates, Starfish Island; Vice City.
Cesar and Dylan sit inside the car, looking around nervously. Roberto is no where in sight and six minutes have passed. Dylan finally breaks the awkward silence.

Dylan: So he’s in the mansion… and he’s going to blow it up… while he’s inside?!

Cesar: I don’t know! He was joking about it earlier!

Dylan: Well, he was joking! He can’t be serious. He still has Toreno to contend with. He can’t just blow himself up and let him on the loose.

Cesar: Let’s hope he…comes… (Looks up and sees three Hunter helicopters come swooping out of the sky) Oh sh*t…

Dylan: (Looks through the rear window and sees the military shutting off Starfish Island) You don’t think…

Cesar: (Watches as a Barracks OL pulls up and an army lieutenant comes out) Stay cool…

Miller: (Approaches the Glendale and knocks on the window) Open up!

Cesar: (Rolls down the window) Yes, sir?

Miller: We need you to leave the area. We need this place cleared of all civilians. (Looks straight back) Leave through that barricade. They should let you through.

Cesar: Alright, sir. (Rolls up the window and looks at Dylan) What’s Roberto doing?!

Dylan: I don’t know. Let’s just get out of here. That lieutenant keeps giving me a weird look…

Cesar: (Glances at Miller and sees him staring at Dylan) Yeah, alright let’s go. (Starts the car up and turns around, heading back through the gates)

Miller: (Watches the Glendale leave) Tail them… (Watches one Barrack turn around and start following the Glendale) The rest of you, evacuate every home on this island. (Looks around and sees everyone standing) Don’t just stand there! This place is a f*cking bomb, and we need it completely evacuated! Move! Move! Move!

Saturday July 4th, 2007. 10:28 A.M. Catalina’s Office Cartel Mansion, Starfish Island; Vice City.
Roberto is sitting in a chair and looking at the detonator while Catalina stands at the window and watches the Hunter’s circle the mansion. She turns around and glares at Roberto. Roberto looks up and smiles.

Catalina: What do you plan to accomplish?! Why did you involve the army in this?! Couldn’t you just blow this god damn place up, without the army and press?!

Roberto: I could’ve, but then, they would just think it was you who died.

Catalina: What?

Roberto: (Stands up) See, they think I’m dead. So they will never think of me being dead in the rubble. Just you.

Catalina: Why do you care?!

Roberto: Maybe I want them to think of me as dieing twice. I don’t know. It seems more fun when everyone is watching. More intense.

Catalina: What?

Roberto: Think of it as… the martyrdom of Saint Me.

Catalina: I think you are just procrastinating. You won’t do it. You’ll keep talking until the army finally raids and kills you. That will be the end.

Roberto: Sure. (Starts to walk towards the window, next to Catalina) Believe what you want to believe. (Watches a hunter pass the window)

Catalina: (Hears banging on the office doors) Here’s my men! (Starts walking to the door)

Roberto: Don’t… (Turns around and looks at Catalina) Don’t open those doors…

Catalina: Why not? (Stops and looks at him)

Roberto: Just don’t…

Saturday July 4th, 2007. 10:35 A.M. Umberto Robina’s House, Little Havana; Vice City.
Cesar pulls up into the driveway and looks at Dylan. He motions to look through the rearview. Dylan looks and sees a Barracks parked one block down. They both get out and walk into the house. Cesar locks and chains the door.

Cesar: Looks like we were tailed.

Dylan: You think?!

Cesar: Look, there’s no way they can link us to Roberto. We were just-

Dylan: Parked on the side of the road, halfway on the sidewalk while still sitting in the car?

Cesar: Good point. Just don’t say anything that could link us to him.

Dylan: Aren’t we inside Roberto’s uncle’s place?

Cesar: (Looks around) Oh… yeah… (Hears banging on the door) Hide!

Saturday July 4th, 2007. 10:30 A.M. Catalina’s Office Cartel Mansion, Starfish Island; Vice City.
Catalina is sitting down on a chair in front of the desk. Bullets line the doors and Roberto is standing, looking out the windows, the AK-47 thrown on the floor. The banging on the door has stopped.

Roberto: You know, I never thought they would have to call the entire Vice army on me. (Chuckles)

Catalina: Laugh all you want!

Roberto: Catalina, take it easy. Take that pipe out of your ass and relax.

Catalina: (Stands up) Cierre su boca! Hijo de puta!

Roberto: (Ignores her and watches the Hunter’s circle around the mansion) I wonder if Cesar and Dylan got away okay…

Saturday July 4th, 2007. 10:36 A.M. Umberto Robina’s House, Little Havana; Vice City.
Bullets spray across the room and Cesar and Dylan dive over the kitchen counter. Four men rush through the door and take cover behind various objects in the living room. Cesar takes out his pistol and checks the magazine.

Cesar: Dylan you got to cover me!

Dylan: (Takes his pistol) Alright! I’ll try!

Cesar: (Stands up and starts firing at the men)

Dylan: (Looks around the corner of the counter and fires)

Cesar: (Sees one man come out behind the couch with an M4 and fire at him)

Dylan: (Looks up and sees Cesar fall backwards and slump against the far kitchen wall) Cesar!

Cesar: (Drops the pistol and looks over Dylan, slowly closing his eyes)

Dylan: (Throws the pistol and comes out with his hands over his head)

Army General: (Runs over with his gun aimed at Dylan’s head) Get on the floor! Hands on your head!

Dylan: (Gets on his knees then looks at the door, slowly swinging opened and closed)

Army General: (Shoves Dylan on the floor and puts one foot on his back) You’re under arrest for aiding and abetting Roberto Garcia. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to have an attorney present during questioning. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand the rights I have just read to you? With these rights in mind, do you wish to speak to me?

Saturday July 4th, 2007. 10:35 A.M. Catalina’s Office Cartel Mansion, Starfish Island; Vice City.
Roberto is standing near a stereo system on the left side of the room. He looks through the CD’s and finds a Beethoven CD. He takes it out of the case and slips it into the stereo.

Roberto: Do you enjoy Beethoven? (The song ‘Ave Maria’ starts playing) I think that he is regarded as one of the greatest masters of musical construction, along with Bach and Brahms. I stress the word, ‘master’. Even after his gradual loss of hearing beginning in his twenties, he still wrote masterpieces and even after he went completely deaf, he still conducted and performed. His Symphony 5 is one of his most famous works. It is his signature orchestral masterpiece.

Catalina: (Scoffs) Well, good for him…

Roberto: (Walks back over to the window) Catalina, what did I tell you about your attitude?

Catalina: (Stands up) Enough! This game, or whatever you call this, is over! Walking around, talking about music and telling me my attitude is wrong! Enough is enough! (Walks over to a shelf and pulls out a Python)

Roberto: Fine. You want to end this game?

Catalina: Yes!

Roberto: You really want to?

Catalina: Yes!

Roberto: Well… (Looks Catalina in the eyes)

Catalina: Well what?

Roberto: I’m sorry.

Catalina: Sorry for what?

Roberto: I’m sorry for all the people in the world I’ve hurt… I guess… (Slides his finger over the detonator and pushes the button)

Saturday July 4th, 2007. 10:38 A.M. Umberto Robina’s House, Little Havana; Vice City.
Dylan is thrown into the back of police cruiser that has just arrived. He watches as the Barracks drives away and an Ambulance arrives. The paramedics get out of the Ambulance and rush into the house. Dylan watches as an obese cop gets into the cruiser and strains while he sits down.

Dylan: You should lay off the donuts.

Cop: Why don’t you shut the f*ck up you piece of sh*t. The state is nailing you to a wall. You’ve been seen hanging around with Roberto and you were also, at one point, told to be wired and follow him, but that didn’t work out very well… did it?

Dylan: Just f*cking drive… (Looks out the window)

Cop: Yeah, that’s right. (Looks through the rearview window) And when we get Roberto… well… let’s just say- (Watches a huge fireball erupt from the distance) What the-

Dylan: (Hears every window shatter and explode) sh*t! (Looks at the cop start shaking) “I’m out of here! (Kicks the back door repeatedly) Enjoy you’re heart attack, fat ass. (Finally kicks open the back door and jumps out, running)

Tuesday July 4th, 2008. 1:27 P.M. Remains of Starfish Island; Vice City.
Half of Starfish Island is underwater, the other half, full of rubble. The bridges have collapsed and there is no way to reach the island, other than by boat and even then, good luck trying to get on it. A memorial for all those who died that day was erected on the Mainland side, where the bridge used to connect. Only one name is not mentioned on it. A blue Bobcat pulls up to the memorial. A man and a woman step out. The man has a goatee and a jacket. The woman has long, brown flowing hair and she’s carrying a baby. They walk up to the memorial and start reading the names.

Man: You know, they’ll mention Catalina’s name, but they completely erase him from existence…

Woman: I can’t believe she got him and killed him…

Man: (Pulls out a knife and starts carving Roberto Garcia into the memorial) You think they’ll erase it again? Like last time?

Woman: Yeah, you know they will. (The baby starts crying) It’s okay Cassie. (Looks at Dylan) I think it’s time we got out of here, before they find out who’s doing it.

Dylan: I think they know who it is. (Reads the etched name)

Woman: (Walks up next to him) You think he’ll be remembered?

Dylan: I don’t know. Maybe. (Looks at her) But I’ll still come here, and carve his name, just for him… (Looks back at the name one more time) Let’s go… (Walks back to the Bobcat, the woman following close behind)

Cubanwhip, can you please give me a link to where the original REAL ending was.
The one which was 'two clicks away'.
I never found it but would like to see were you originally posted the ending.
Thanks.

poikly
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#555

Posted 18 September 2007 - 02:48 PM Edited by poikly, 18 September 2007 - 02:49 PM.

Sorry, I double posted.

Leprechaun
  • Leprechaun

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#556

Posted 18 September 2007 - 06:49 PM

Excellent story!

Moth
  • Moth

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#557

Posted 24 September 2007 - 09:19 PM

That is a good chapter man. And when is your next story??!

Ryunday
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#558

Posted 25 September 2007 - 07:05 AM

QUOTE (The General. @ Sep 24 2007, 21:19)
And when is your next story??!

Hers two of Cubanwhip's new stories if you want to see them.

http://www.gtaforums...howtopic=293833

http://www.gtaforums...howtopic=295564

poikly
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#559

Posted 28 December 2007 - 06:24 PM

Stories like these don't deserve to die all the way down to the 4th page.

HawaiianHardHitter
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#560

Posted 29 December 2007 - 01:58 AM

QUOTE (poikly @ Dec 28 2007, 18:24)
Stories like these don't deserve to die all the way down to the 4th page.

I don't see the point of bumping up a fanfic that has been finished and dead for 3 months. They can fnd this if they just looked. No need to make a pointless bump.

Vercetti21
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#561

Posted 29 December 2007 - 02:23 AM

^^^ Agreed.

Just because it's a good story doesn't mean it should always remain on the first page. It had its 15 minutes of fame, now let the other stories have theirs.

Love.Life
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#562

Posted 30 December 2007 - 12:18 PM

pure class cookie.gif

GTAwarrior
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#563

Posted 18 June 2008 - 07:45 PM

THIS IS FANTASTIC THE BEST THING IVE READ ON GTA FORUMS

Danny Phoenix
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#564

Posted 18 June 2008 - 08:34 PM

Goddamn, you're an idiot. Why the hell did you revive a completely dead thread just for that lame of a post?

Yes, it is an absolutely amazing story, but, SHEESH, grow up, newfag.

Cubanwhip won't be pleased.

Cubanwhip
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#565

Posted 18 June 2008 - 08:57 PM

My god. A six month necrobump. MUH GAWD.

Although people don't really approve of bumping super old topics, how is he going to acknowledge the fact that he likes the story? Sure, bumping a 6 month dead story that died after one chapter and was horrible is unnecessary, but this is more reasonable.

Also, just for the future and the sake of necrobumping, just send the author a PM expressing your approval. But thanks for the compliment.

To further understand why I would not have been pleased with the added "newfag" statement, please read the "My /WD/" topic in my sig. It's quite lulzy.

Carbine23
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#566

Posted 18 June 2008 - 09:38 PM

QUOTE
This is to all of you who complain about never getting replies to a story if it's only been up for a day or two.


Dammit. I got to improve sad.gif
and something tells me that GTAWarrior is looking for attention. He keeps saying how awesome every story is and how its the best thing he's ever read. I haven't read this yet because i only joined writing section a month or two ago. Maybe i should now that it's bumped to the first page.

Danny Phoenix
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#567

Posted 18 June 2008 - 10:30 PM

And it looks like GTAwarrior the twelve year-old bastard is the cancer that's killing /b/ - I mean, /WD/.

Cubanwhip
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#568

Posted 18 June 2008 - 10:35 PM

QUOTE (Danny Phoenix @ Jun 18 2008, 18:30)
And it looks like GTAwarrior the twelve year-old bastard is the cancer that's killing /b/ - I mean, /WD/.

Alright...we already did that. You're a bit late, so let's not start that. Let's just let the people read and enjoy (or not) the script.

VProductions
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#569

Posted 08 April 2013 - 12:12 AM

I am sorry but I just have to bump this awesomeness. smile.gif

TonyZimmzy
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#570

Posted 08 April 2013 - 09:04 AM

Hopefully this doesn't get locked. That'd suck so bad. First story I ever read. It may show its flaws grammar wise, etc., but the story itself is still a solid adventure -- and written at what, the age of 13ish? 92k views proves that sh*t.




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