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  • Rashon.

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Posted 18 December 2006 - 03:19 AM

Now who'd rate this topic bad? confused.gif

Excellent chapter. icon14.gif

Archaon, Lord of End Times
  • Archaon, Lord of End Times

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Posted 18 December 2006 - 11:45 PM

Kick. Ass. Tastic. icon14.gif

  • Moth

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Posted 19 December 2006 - 10:40 PM

great chapter man

cookie.gif cookie.gif cookie.gif cookie.gif cookie.gif cookie.gif cookie.gif cookie.gif cookie.gif cookie.gif 10 cookies not as much as TonyZimmzy cause that all i got

peace out man

bring the next chapter soon

Nick Papagiorgio
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Posted 19 December 2006 - 11:04 PM

cookie.gif cookie.gif cookie.gif cookie.gif cookie.gif cookie.gif cookie.gif cookie.gif cookie.gif cookie.gif cookie.gif cookie.gif cookie.gif cookie.gif cookie.gif cookie.gif

Great chapter, Roberto. Merry Christmas xmas.gif

  • Cubanwhip

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Posted 21 December 2006 - 02:51 AM

Well, Christmas is around the corner and I though why not do something special. Post a Christmas PSA, or Public Service Announcement. This has nothing to do with the story, and is completely irrelavent. It only uses the main characters, and some made up ones. Enjoy! The next chapter will be Christmas Day, so stay tuned!

Christmas PSA: Don’t Drink and Drive-By

Roberto is sitting in a leather chair, sipping a glass of champagne. Kelsey walks in with a tray of cookies. Dylan is sitting on the couch playing a brand new PSP he just got. Salvador sits in a rocking chair, rocking back and forth, looking at the fire place, smoking a Cuban cigar.

Roberto: (Looks at the audience) Oh, hey there. Didn’t see you there. It’s Christmas time, a time to spend with your friend’s and family, a time to love, and be loved. Of course, sometimes, Christmas is never as peaceful as it should be. Sometimes, angry gangsters get pissed off at their “ho’s” and end up getting punch drunk and driving. Usually, they have a friend with them, and a sub machine gun. (A television screen slowly comes down from the ceiling) Watch…

Somewhere in Ganton, Los Santos…
A Greenwood is swerving across both lanes of the street. It is midnight and barely any cars occupy the streets. One gangster hangs out of the car, holding a bat and knocking down mailboxes, the other, driving and holding a small brown paper bag, obviously concealing alcohol.

Jerome: (Hanging out the window) Oh shiiiiiit! It’s the f*ckin Gardner’s mailbox! (Swings the bat and smashes the mailbox) f*ck yeah! I hit that sh*t! (Climbs back into the car)

Rae: Yo man, check this out… (Reaches into the back of the car and pulls out a Tec 9) Isn’t it beautiful?

Jerome: Nigga! Did you just call a gun beautiful!?

Rae: It is f*cking beautiful! (Swerves and misses a pedestrian) Get the hell out of the road old man!

Jerome: Man, I must not be drunk enough to get that sh*t… (Takes the gun)

Rae: Nigga, give me my gun!

Jerome: Hell no! Now it’s time for some real fun nigga! (Loads the gun and opens fire on a house) Take that ho! I neva liked ya and yo stank pussy!

Rae: Hey man! You’re going to get the 5-0 on us!

Jerome: Man, if they do get us, we got this! They can’t stop us! (Sees a parked car)

Rae: Get yo ass back in here! (Tries to grab at Jerome’s pants, but immediately looses control and grabs the steering wheel) You’re going to get us killed!

Jerome: We can’t be killed! I’m invincible!

Rae: (Swerves towards a telephone pole) Shiiiiiiit! (Swerves at last second, missing the pole, hearing a crack)

Jerome: Fuuuuuuuuuuuck! (Looks at his broken arm) Nigga, you just broke my arm!!!

Rae: f*ck your arm! Where’s the gun!

Jerome: I dropped that sh*t! Get me to the f*cking hospital!

Rae: (Stops the car) That’s my dad’s gun! He’ll kill me! (Gets out and falls on the floor) sh*t… I can’t walk!!

Jerome: (Opens the car door and squints trying to find Rae on the floor) get the f*ck back in and get me to a hospital! My arm is broken!

Rae: You’re f*ckin’ drunk! You can’t feel sh*t! (Finds the gun)

Jerome: That doesn’t mean I don’t know what’s going on! (Falls on the floor) Man, I’m getting dizzy…

Rae: (Sways back over to Jerome) Nigga, you don’t get woozy after a broken arm! Now get in the car!

Jerome: (Rolls his arm) Oh sh*t… There’s a piece of glass in my arm!

Rae: (Looks at the arm and sees six centimeter’s of glass sticking out) Oh sh*t!

Jerome: I’m gonna die!

Rae: (Picks up Jerome and throws him into the back seat of the Greenwood) No man! It’s just a slight puncture wound! It didn’t go through! (Stumbles to the driver’s side)

Jerome: Oh sh*t, it almost did! (Pushes his skin and sees the other end of the glass come through) Oh sh*t, now it did!

Rae: (Floors the car) Don’t worry brah! I’ll get you to a hospital… (Drives over a bridge and the car stalls) Oh sh*t! Outta gas! (Looks down the road) The hospital’s in Balla territory, I don’t think we can make it!

Jerome: I’m gonna die! (Curls into the fetal position in the back seat)

Rae: (Stumbles out of the car) Don’t worry, no you won’t! (Falls on the floor and watches the beer bottle roll down the street) sh*t! My gin! (Crawls after the bottle and watches it roll off the bridge) No! My last bottle! (Puts his arm through one of the opening in the bridge side) Now it’s gone… (Puts his head through to see it has exploded on the freeway below) Noooo! (Tries to pulls his head back, but realizes it’s stuck) No! I’m stuck! (Tries to get his head out) Jerome, I’m stuck!

Jerome: (Starts to slowly close his eyes) Can’t…feel…my…dick… (His head rolls sideways and his body goes limp)

Rae: Help! I’m stuck and my friend is dying! (Tries to pull his head once more and feels the concrete slice his neck) Oh sh*t! Oh shiiiiit! (Feels blood running down his neck) No! Helllllp! (The world slowly starts to spin) Awww sh*t…… (His eyes slowly close)

Back at Roberto’s living room…
Roberto turns off the television, which just showed the above scene. The television slowly rises back into the ceiling.

Roberto: Now you see kids, don’t ever drink and drive-by or you’ll end up just like Rae and Jerome.

Dylan: (Puts his PSP on his lap and throws up all over it) What the hell?! What kind of a Christmas video was that?!

Roberto: (Walks over to Dylan and looks at the ruined PSP) That cost me $200! (Smacks Dylan in the back of his head)

Kelsey: Hey take it easy!

Roberto: (Walks away from Dylan and looks back at the audience) Have a very Merry Christmas…

Dylan: (Pukes again) That was just sick!

  • TonyZimmzy

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Posted 21 December 2006 - 02:52 AM

Dylan ruined the PSP. I think he deserved more than a f*ckin smack upside his melon mad.gif

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  • Moth

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Posted 21 December 2006 - 03:00 AM

cookie.gif cookie.gif nice one man pretty good even though it has nothing to do with the story but pretty good indeed

  • Blackadder.

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Posted 21 December 2006 - 03:00 AM

Lol, that was kind of weird, I didn't really understand some of it turn.gif

Nick Papagiorgio
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Posted 21 December 2006 - 03:04 AM

That was sick. Funny, I liked it. Poor Jerome, he couldn't feel his dick.

Merry Christmas xmas.gif

  • Pat

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Posted 21 December 2006 - 03:12 AM

Now that, was hilarious. You know, I thought it would end with their car exploding, or with Rae being killed by the ballas with his head stuck in the bridge.

Anyway, nice work. cookie.gif

  • Rashon.

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Posted 23 December 2006 - 12:09 AM

Lmao, that could've been a commercial or something.

  • GSF_Membuh

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Posted 23 December 2006 - 12:20 AM

QUOTE (rashon125 @ Dec 23 2006, 00:09)
Lmao, that could've been a commercial or something.

Agreed. That was a cool chapter yo.

  • Cubanwhip

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Posted 23 December 2006 - 10:23 PM

I'm releasing one today, and either one or two Christmas, depends on how obsessed I become with Saint's Row. tounge.gif

Chapter 61: Wired

Wednesday July 2nd, 2001. 11:31 A.M.
Some stupid, ghetto gangsta wannabe teenager is walking across the school’s practice football field, in his gym uniform, trying to act hard. He tries to act tough and gangsta. His class is walking in the opposite direction, towards the school, while he walks towards the tennis courts to grab his stupid little blue folder he left jammed in the chain linked fence so it wouldn’t blow away in the stupid summer winds. But when he finally reaches the blacktop, about maybe twenty five feet away from the tennis courts, someone just has to make it harder than it would need be. So this dumb, stupid little teen, he watches this group of three guys dribbling a basketball. The one guy accidentally misses a dribble and the ball rolls over to this hardcore ghetto wannabe teen.

Teen: (Puts his foot on the basketball and stares at it)

Balla 1: Hey, give us the ball. (Stands still in front of the other two, obviously showing himself to be the alpha male of the pack)

Teen: (So what else does this stupid teen do other than look up at the balla? He pulls his foot back and cause the ball to roll through a puddle of water directly behind him and onto the football field)

Balla 1: Tha f*cks ya problem!? I should kick ya ass!

Balla 2: Yeah, maybe I should too… (He just steps forward and cracks his knuckles)

Teen: (This kid, just to be some hard ass copy cat, he just walks right past them, whispering some offensive names)

Balla 1: (Turns and looks at the teen walk towards the tennis courts) Tha f*cks his problem?

Balla 3: Hell I don’ know. It’s just some dirty wannabe gangsta, spic… (Walks away with the first balla leading the pack across the field)

Teen: (He just turns around at the mention of the word spic, and just brushes it off his shoulder. Even though it didn’t appear like it made a difference to his life, this stupid little teen changed his school life in that moment)

Saturday June 7th,, 2007. 11:48 A.M.
A man is leaning against the San Fierro train station’s outer wall. He has a slight stubble growing around his chin and signs of a moustache growing. His hair is cut short, buzzed short and is as black as his eyes. He wears a white shirt, covered with a brown sports jacket, open in the front, along with a pair of dark denim baggy blue jeans. He is smoking a cigarette and noting the people that walk in and out of the station, checking for cops or Dylan or other familiar faces. So far, nothing.

Roberto: (Puffs his cigarette and listens to the wind blow against the huge glass panels) “I wonder if he got out of the station okay…?” (Looks at his watch and sees Dylan walk through the terminal’s main entrance) “Finally…” (He heads over, walking, not running, smooth, calmly) Hey man, didn’t think you’d make it…

Dylan: (Puts his hand over his chest, tightly) They have me wired man. I told them I was going to meet you here, but not a specific time, it could be any time.

Roberto: Great! Now what?!

Dylan: (Holds his hand on his chest) Either I rip this wire off and become wanted along with you, or I take my hand off, and they surround the place and take you in. They say they have enough to put you in for the rest of your existence.

Roberto: (Looks at the arrival board and sees all the times flip to more up-to-date ones) Take your hand off it…

Dylan: (Tightens his hold over the mic) What? Are you crazy?!

Roberto: Just do it…

Dylan: Alright… (Takes his hand off his chest)

Roberto: Hey man, didn’t think you’re show up, did the cop get you? (Winks at Dylan)

Dylan: (Looks around puzzled) No man, no problem. They just let me go…

Roberto: Well, we better get out of here before the find us.

Dylan: Yeah…

Roberto: Let’s take train 76. It’ll get us to Prickle Pine in a jiffy… (Looks at Dylan and makes a gesture with his head to cover the mic)

Dylan: (Puts his hand over his chest again) What are you doing?!

Roberto: We’re take train 77, it leaves in three minutes, let’s go! (Starts running)

Dylan: (Flings his hand off his chest and runs after Roberto) Where is train 77 going?!

Roberto: To Creek in Venturas! (Jumps onto the moving train)

Dylan: Oh sh*t! But that’s the in the same city you told them we’re going!

Roberto: But not the same district… (Grabs Dylan’s hand and pulls him up onto the train)

Sunday June 8th, 2007. 1:01 P.M.
After a long train ride across the desert and away from the police, the train pulls up to the train station in Creek. Roberto steps off stretching his arm and legs, while Dylan come off rubbing his eyes. The wire Dylan wore is somewhere recording the wind blowing up a dust storm in the middle of Tierra Robada. Roberto finds a nearby red, metallic Stallion, with a black convertible rooftop. Roberto busts the door handle off and hotwires the car, Dylan stand watching and just gets into the passenger’s seat.

Dylan: So now what?

Roberto: (Starts the car up) Now what? Well, we look for Kelsey.

Dylan: How the hell are we going to find her?! She could be anywhere!

Roberto: Well, our only lead was that Loc would have kidnapped her when he shot up Carl, thing is, Loc wouldn’t do that, he was too big a pussy. That only leaves one person. (Pulls out of the parking lot and on the Julius Thruway East)

Dylan: Who?

Roberto: Colonel Juan Garcia Cortez…

Dylan: Who’s that?

Roberto: He was one of Tommy’s closest friends. So now he has a grudge for me since his elimination. I have a feeling he took Kelsey back since that was the only connection left to Tommy.

Dylan: How are you going to find him?! He could be anywhere, along with Kelsey!

Roberto: I know Tommy owned a small casino here in Venturas. Not a big one, he didn’t want it to be a big business, but still a good size. I believe Juan might have taken it over for Tommy.

Dylan: What casino?

Roberto: I forgot the name. I can find it if I see it. All I know is that it’s in the Old Venturas Strip. (Pulls off the thruway and makes a left going over a bridge over the thruway)

Dylan: So what are we going to do once we find her?

Roberto: Well, I’m going back to Angel Pine and living with my father and finally marrying Kelsey. Maybe start a normal life. I don’t know about you…

Dylan: So what’s my point in being here?

Roberto: I’m still trying to figure that out. So far, you haven’t done much, I’m just wondering how much longer you’re going to survive after the shootout.

Dylan: What shootout?

Roberto: Oh come on! Don’t play retard with me.

Dylan: I’m not retarded… (His voice trails off)

Roberto: Whatever man, you think we’re going to walk into Tommy’s casino, and not get shot at? When we get in there, we’re fighting up. I know that, Juan knows that, and now you do.

Dylan: We don’t have guns! What are we going to do, punch our way up? Someone walks up to me with an MP5 and I punch them in the face like I don’t give a f*ck?

Roberto: No man, I punch them in the face like I don’t give a f*ck, then I shoot down another guard then we each have a gun, from there we take them down one by one. Think it through next time… (Pulls up to Tommy’s old casino) Looks the same as it does in the pictures at his house. Except for that… (Points at the naked woman in neon lights) She was clothed… (Walks in casually and looks around) Stay calm man…

Dylan: I’m cool, I’m cool, I’m cooler than ice. I’m cooler than…

Roberto: Shut the f*ck up… (Walks up to a guard getting a drink from a water fountain) Excuse me, but is that a real gun?

Guard: What? What kind of f*cking question is that?!

Roberto: (Knees the guard in the stomach and uppercuts him through his jaw) A rhetorical one! (Watches the guard hit the wall and slump down to a sitting position) Thank you… (Bends down and picks up the nine millimeter pistol) Alright Dylan…

Dylan: Holy sh*t! There’s four coming!

Roberto: (Stands up and pulls the trigger, nothing coming out) Unloaded?! Who the f*ck keeps an unloaded pistol!

Dylan: Obviously that guy…

Roberto: Shut up! (Sees the guards running towards him) Alright Dylan, get to the bar and make a Molotov Cocktail, I’ll distract them…

Dylan: How do you make one?!

Roberto: You’re kidding me right! (Watches Dylan shake his head slowly) f*ck! Get a beer bottle, stick a rag in it and light it. Bring it over here!

Dylan: Alright! (Runs and slides over the bar) “Man, what’s he going to do with an empty…” (Hears a neck snap) Holy sh*t?! (Looks over the bar to see Roberto standing over another dead guard’s body, loading his pistol) “Well, I’ll be damned…”

Roberto: (Looks at Dylan watching) Well, don’t stand there like some idiot! Make it! (Takes aim for the other three guards hiding behind various slot machines and poker tables) Or I’ll make you make it, cause either way… (Pulls the hammer back) You’re making it…

  • TonyZimmzy

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Posted 23 December 2006 - 11:00 PM

Dylan is under-estimating Roberto! angry.gif Dylan needs to earn his stripes!, or he's gonna get blasted on... probaly by Roberto happy.gif

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Nick Papagiorgio
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Posted 23 December 2006 - 11:04 PM

Great chappy, Roberto. Me like. Dylan best watch himself.

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S. Leone
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Posted 25 December 2006 - 01:56 AM


  • Rashon.

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Posted 25 December 2006 - 02:05 AM

Lol. Dylan's got to act a little bit smarter. biggrin.gif Great chapter. xmas.gif

  • Cubanwhip

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Posted 26 December 2006 - 12:37 AM Edited by Cubanwhip, 26 December 2006 - 12:46 AM.

Merry f*cking Christmas Bitches! Two Chaps for ya'lls!!!!!

Chapter 62: Did I Miss Something?

Sunday June 8th, 2007. 1:10 P.M.
Roberto stands in the middle of the casino, the gun hanging on his finger by the loop around the trigger. Dylan slowly walks over, wiping himself off of all alcohol. The flames burn bright around the casino, on the slot machines, billiard tables, roulette tables, blackjack tables, etc. Dylan looks around and spots an elevator door opening, and a man, with slicked back hair and a brown suit, comes out with a gun held to Kelsey’s head.

Dylan: Who the f*ck is that?! Is that Juan?!

Roberto: Yeah… (Drops the gun and walk over to Juan) Why do you have a gun pointed to your deceased friend’s daughter?

Juan: (Tightens his grasp on Kelsey shoulder and the finger on the trigger tenses) Well Roberto, in order to get to you, I needed bait, and since you love her and are engaged, what better way to get to you, than through her!

Roberto: Jesus Juan, just let her go. Look at yourself! You’re holding your best friend’s daughter at gun point! And for what?! Bait?! That’s ridiculous!

Juan: This… no, no, no. This is not ridiculous. Killing the man that cared for you after your parents were killed, now that’s ridiculous!

Roberto: Let her go Juan, we can talk this out. Let’s be gentlemen here…

Juan: Gentlemen? I think we’re beyond that… (Pulls the hammer back on the gun at points it at Roberto)

Kelsey: No, Juan! Don’t kill him!

Juan: Shut up Kelsey! It’s for the best!

Kelsey: (Elbows Juan in the side and pushes herself off) What is?! Killing my fiancé!?

Juan: (Stumbles back and points the gun at both Kelsey and Roberto) Kelsey, don’t act so irrationally. He killed your father and you side with him?!

Kelsey: He wasn’t my father. Not after the way he started to act towards Roberto. Roberto didn’t do anything, yet he tried to kill him!

Juan: Didn’t do anything?! Even I could tell Roberto was backstabbing Thomas!

Kelsey: (Walks over to Roberto and leans on him) He would never do that…

Roberto: (Puts his arm around Kelsey’s hip) Now Juan, put the gun down…

Juan: Or what?! You’re going to get into a fist fight with me?! You dropped your gun…

Roberto: (Hears the sound of a gun hammer being pulled back behind himself) Yeah, but my friend here picked it up… (Watches Dylan walk up, holding the gun up at Juan)

Juan: (Looks over Dylan) Him?! He couldn’t shoot me! He doesn’t have the… (Feels a bullet blast through his chest) Roberto…? (Drops his pistol and takes a few steps back, putting his hand over his chest)

Dylan: (Walks over to Juan, who has fallen to his knees) I don’t have the what? Balls? Well, I just proved your f*cking ass wrong… (Holds the gun to Juan’s head)

Roberto: Stop, Dylan… (Takes his arm of Kelsey and walks over) Just leave him… (Puts his hand on the gun and lowers it)

Juan: (Looks up at Dylan then at Roberto) You’re showing me mercy, even after what I just pulled?

Roberto: Yeah, you can say that. I just don’t ever want to see you again…

Juan: (Looks down at the blood pouring off his chest) Well, I might not make is after this hour…

Roberto: (Pulls out his cell phone and calls 911) Yeah, we have a shootout at the Diamond Girl’s casino in The Old Venturas strip, and one possible survivor. (Hangs up) Hope to never see you again Juan… (Looks at Dylan then at Kelsey) Let’s get out of here before the cops and paramedics have this place surrounded. (Starts heading to the door, Kelsey’s arm linked with his)

Kelsey: Where are we going?

Roberto: To start our new life together…hopefully.

Tuesday June 10th, 2007. 11:40 A.M.
The sun is shining bright in the sky of San Andreas. After the shootout at the casino, Roberto, Kelsey, and Dylan left Venturas and went back to Angel Pine, to live with Roberto’s father. After a long argument with Dylan, Roberto decided he could stay with them until the wedding. So now, eating breakfast in a diner in Angel Pine, Dylan brings up the wedding.

Dylan: So, when are you having the wedding?

Roberto: Why? You want to know when you’re leaving. (Puts a fork full of waffles dripping with sweet maple syrup into his mouth)

Dylan: No…just curious.

Roberto: Well, I was thinking beginning of August, maybe late July, when the leaves are changing colors and the weather is nice.

Dylan: Sounds like a dream wedding. How are you going to have a wedding ceremony? You’re like a wanted criminal, wouldn’t the priest recognize you?

Roberto: That’s something I need to figure out, but let’s not worry about that now. Let’s just relax. This is one of the only times where nothing dangerous has happened to me, just enjoy it.

Dylan: Don’t you still have to deal with that Columbian chick in Vice that took over Kelsey’s dad’s place?

Roberto: f*ck her. She hasn’t bothered me at all since then. Let her enjoy her southern vacation on the beaches of Vice.

Dylan: Great attitude…

Roberto: (Drinks some orange juice) f*ck Catalina… (Looks up and watches the television flicker)

News Reporter: And now, breaking news from the President of the United States…

Dylan: Oh man, I hate this dumbass. He tries to be politically correct and sh*t, and sound legit, but it’s so obvious he’s as corrupt as the cops down in Los Santos.

Roberto: Really? (Looks up at the television) Haven’t seen the big man in a while, I think it’s been almost five years. Been to busy to ever pay attention to politics.

President: Hello fellow Americans, it is my duty to inform you about our recent affairs with England. As many know, after the murder of my brother, the killer was sent to Saint Jacob’s prison in Green State, England for lethal injection in 2008. He has escaped and is now on the loose. I have volunteered to aid in searching for him. I believe it is my duty, as President, to maintain control over America’s citizens. I will be leaving late July. (Puts the paper at the bottom of the stack and clears his throat) That is all, thank you. (The television switch back to the football game going on before)

Roberto: (Looks at Dylan, with a shocked expression) Who the hell is that?!

Dylan: That’s the president…duh! (Drinks his coffee) Everyone knows that…

Roberto: What’s his name!?

Dylan: What? (Puts down his cup)

Roberto: Name?!

Dylan: Dude, that’s President Mike Toreno…

Tuesday June 10th, 2007. 11:50 A.M.
In Capitol City, in the White House, sits Mike Toreno, President of the United States. He stands up and walks out of the meeting room, cameras set up and interviewers ready with their microphones to ask questions. He walks past them, two guards on either sides of him.

Mike: So, what has our little pawn, Sean, been up to in Green State?

Guard: Well, a good source has us informed that Sean helped out a gang called the… (Looks at a clipboard) …Reject’s in stopping the expansion of the Saint’s into their territory. Sir, he blew up the Downtown area with one explosion…

Mike: So he’s been a busy boy, hasn’t he…? What about Roberto?

Guard: Well, we lost track of him after he left Vice. We can’t really pinpoint his location other than being somewhere in the state of San Andreas.

Mike: (Reaches the Oval Office and sits in the chair) So Roberto is somewhere in San Andreas, and Sean in somewhere in Green State…

Guard: (Interrupts) Actually sir, one explosion in the Downtown area caused contact between Heart City and New Stanford to schism from the rest of Green State. So he is stranded in Heart City.

Mike: (Leans back into his chair) Stranded eh? I’d rather take my chances with Sean. Roberto could be anywhere in San Andreas, and armed to the teeth. Sean, on the other hand, well he’s stranded in the city, poor, living on the streets, no contacts. This may be the weakest he will get. We better move in. Send some more men over there, make sure Sean stays in Heart City, and stays weak.

Guard: Right away sir! (Walks out of the office)

Mike: (Spins in his chair and looks out the window, overlooking the front garden) Soon, I’ll have this Sean kid out of this nation’s hair, and then I’ll put the rest of my strength into finding Roberto…

Donald: (Walks into the office) Mike!

Mike: (Spins around and looks at Donald) Oh, what the f*ck do you want!?

Donald: You have a caller on line 1.

Mike: (Stares at Donald) How the hell do you know that?! That’s the f*cking secretary’s job! Now get out of my office!

Donald: Hey! Don’t talk to me that way!

Mike: The f*ck out of here!

Donald: Fine! (Walks out of the office, slamming the door behind himself)

Mike: (Picks the phone up and hits the red, blinking button) Hello?

Man: Mike! I got some news for you…

Mike: What the hell Machowski! You’re not supposed to be calling me! You’re supposed to be making friends with that kid! Remember our deal!

Ray: Yeah, yeah! But that kid ain’t with me now. This kid is so stupid! He’ll believe whatever I say!

Mike: So where’s this going Ray, are you just going to tell me how stupid Sean is, or is this going somewhere?

Ray: Yeah, yeah it is. The two gangs in Heart City, Black Hearts and The Ace of Hearts have gotten into a huge feud lately.

Mike: What news is this?! This is old f*cking news!

Ray: Yeah, but it’s bigger! And Sean is involved somehow. I’m trying to figure this out, I just need some time.

Mike: Well, you’re job is to get the info. Once his body is buried six feet under and in a wooden box, then I’ll finish up my end of the deal! (Hangs up) Jesus, what’s this world coming to! (Swivels back around in his chair and looks over the front garden, and at the fountain in the pond)

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Posted 26 December 2006 - 12:49 AM

... And so it begins!


  • Cubanwhip

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Posted 26 December 2006 - 12:52 AM

It would make the table of contents easier if I posted them in seperate posts!

Chapter 63: Cross Country Road Trip

Tuesday June 10th, 2007. 2:03 A.M.
Roberto is packing up his father’s Huntley with luggage. Dylan stands there; arms crossed staring at Roberto packing. Salvador and Kelsey also stand watching to see what his next move is. Kelsey finally walks over to Roberto.

Kelsey: What are you doing?

Roberto: I’m trying to end this!

Kelsey: End what!? It’s done! You’re making it harder on yourself by going after him. He’s not going to do anything to you, if he was, he would have done it by now.

Roberto: Just knowing he’s out there, I don’t know…

Dylan: (Interrupts the conversation) So you’re going alone?

Roberto: (Slams the trunk shut) Yeah Dylan, you’re not coming.

Dylan: Oh come on! You know you need me!

Roberto: (Walks over to Dylan) Need you?! What have you ever done for me to need you?! You’re about as useful as an electric razor during a blackout!

Dylan: What about the casino!

Roberto: What about it?! All you did was stuff a rag in a bottle of Vodka. Hell, you didn’t even light it! I had to shoot the bottle mid throw to set it off!

Dylan: There were no lighters or matches back there!

Roberto: Listen, you’re going to be useless. If anything, you’ll slow me down…

Dylan: (Looks at Roberto) So this is it? The end of our friendship…

Roberto: Friendship?! When were you and I friends? The reason we ever met, was because I needed to make an escape after killing a store clerk! You were just used!

Dylan: So that’s it. I was just you’re pawn?

Roberto: Yeah!

Kelsey: Don’t say that…

Roberto: (Raises his right hand clamps it over his forehead, rubbing his temples with his thumb and middle finger) I’m sorry Dylan, but this is the end… (Looks at Kelsey) Kelsey, stay here with my dad until I get back…

Kelsey: Why are you going…?

Roberto: Tie up loose ends. (Gets into the Huntley and starts it up) And don’t worry dad, I’ll have the car back in one piece… (Starts off on his cross country road trip to Capitol City)

Thursday June 12th, 2007. 2:03 A.M.
A guard walks into Mike Toreno’s office, holding a clipboard with a few papers clipped on. Mike is working on some papers and finally looks up at the guard, with a worried look on his face.

Mike: What do you want?

Guard: Sir, we just got news that Roberto has left San Andreas…

Mike: Left? What do you mean left?

Guard: He left San Andreas, due east.

Mike: Where’s he going? He can’t go back down to Vice, that bitch Catalina will kill him on sight and Liberty is still a mess, they’re still looking for him there. Where else can he be going?!

Guard: Well, it’s either Carcer, or here sir.

Mike: (Looks up at the guard nervously and anxiously) Here?! Why here?!

Guard: I didn’t say he was coming here, I just said…

Mike: Why would he be coming here?! Has he found out I’m president?!

Guard: Well, that may be a possibility.

Mike: We might have to leave sooner then!

Guard: Sir, I told you it was either here or Carcer, he might not be coming here.

Mike: (Stands up) Why the f*ck would he go to Carcer!? He left that place a while ago, he’s not going back! There’s nothing there!

Guard: Well, sir, this is Capitol City. If anyone sees him on the streets here, opposed to Carcer, Los Santos, San Fierro, etc, he will be taken down much faster. I mean, this is where the government lives, it’s not like the most wanted man in America can just walk into this city and roam the streets without consequences.

Mike: I don’t trust this city for sh*t! Make sure all roads into Capitol City are well looked over. I don’t want him entering this city!

Guard: Right away sir… (Walks out of the office)

Mike: (Sits back down, rubbing his temples) I’m f*cked, I am so f*cked!

Wednesday June 11th, 2007. 6:07 P.M.
Roberto sits in a roadside bar, somewhere on the outskirts of San Andreas. He drinks down the shot of Vodka and watches the television flicker. He looks around and watches the television, it’s showing an English channel.

Roberto: (Calls over the bartender) Hey, how do you get English channels here in America?

Bartender: I gots a satellite tele! I can gets any channel! I once gots this really hot Asian pornography. These chicks were really getting at it and…

Roberto: Alright, alright! I get it! (Looks at the television)

News Reporter: I’m here in Heart City, Green State with a local who has seen the wanted criminal, Sean Wood. He said that Sean was carrying an MP5 and jacking a car. Can you tell us anymore?

Local: Tell ya anymore?! I can tell ya it all! He walked up to that f*cking car and ripped that door opened like it was licorice!

News Reporter: (Smells the man’s breath) Uh, sir, have you been drinking?

Local: f*ck yeah I’ve been drinking! I’m on my seventh pint! (Lifts up a pint of beer and drinks it down)

News Reporter: Right… (Looks at the camera) Well anyways, back to you, Howard…

Roberto: (Watches the channel change to hardcore Asian porn) What the f*ck?!

Bartender: That’s what I said! This sh*t gets even crazier!

Roberto: (Stands up and slams the money on the counter) Who shows porn in the middle of a bar?!

Bartender: Hey! This is some quality sh*t! You won’t find this anywhere else! Other than Asia, but that’s somewhere across the world!

Roberto: (Pulls out a pistol and shoots the television) There, now the only place to find it is in Asia…

Bartender: You f*cking wanker! I was watching that!

Roberto: (Walks out of the bar and heads into the Huntley, turning on the radio) Now to continue on…

Radio Host: In other news, President Toreno has moved up the date he is leaving the country, in search of Sean Wood. The new date is now, July 20th. Now, back to our regularly scheduled program… (“Cupids Chokehold” by Gym Class Heroes starts playing on the radio)

Saturday June 14th, 2007. 9:00 A.M.
Roberto is sleeping in a motel and slowly opens his eyes. He looks up at the peeling ceiling and slowly sits up, swinging his feet over the bed. He rubs his eyes and gets up, grabbing the room keys. Where he is, it’s somewhere in the middle of America, about maybe three or four days away from Capitol City. He leaves the room, locking the door and walks to the office. He sees a man watching a small, five inch, black and white television.

Man: (Stuffs a mouthful of potato chips in his mouth and looks up at Roberto) Whaf do ya wannf?!

Roberto: I’m checking out… (Puts the keys on the table)

Man: (Swallows the food) Room number?

Roberto: 13.

Man: (Takes the keys) Do I know you…?

Roberto: I’m Roberto Garcia, call the f*cking police… (Leaves the office)

Man: (Stares at Roberto leave) Yeah right! Roberto wouldn’t stay in this sh*t motel…

Roberto: (Sits in the car and hears his cell phone ring) Who the hell is calling me! (Picks the phone up) Hello?

Kelsey: You haven’t called!

Roberto: Sorry. (Rubs his forehead) What’s going on over there?

Kelsey: Nothing much. Just the usual, I’m making dinner for your dad, Dylan and me.

Roberto: (Sits up straight) Dylan?! What’s he still doing there?!

Kelsey: He wanted to stay. We’re the closest people he knows! Learn to be less heartless!

Roberto: What? Closest people?

Kelsey: Yeah, his parents died and he’s living alone. He only was living on welfare. So we’re the closest thing to a family he has!

Roberto: (Slams his hand into the steering wheel) Fine! How’s my dad?

Kelsey: He’s doing good.

Roberto: Good to hear…

Kelsey: When are you coming back?

Roberto: When that television turns on and it says Mike is dead, then I’ll be on my way home…

Kelsey: Well, hurry… I miss you…

Roberto: Miss you too honey… (Hangs up and starts up the Huntley) By the end of this week, Mike will be the six feet under, and in a wooden box…

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Posted 26 December 2006 - 01:01 AM

lol.gif Almost brung me to tears reading that chapter, at how hilarious the bar scene was inlove.gif cookie.gif

  • Moth

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Posted 26 December 2006 - 04:33 AM

two f*ckin great chapters man and i love that bar scene i almost sh*t my pants reading it

good work man bring more chaps soon

peace out

Nick Papagiorgio
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Posted 26 December 2006 - 04:39 AM

*Asian porn is the best porn, it loves you long time*

biggrin.gif jk. Great chappy, Roberto. The bar scene was nice. icon14.gif

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Posted 26 December 2006 - 10:15 PM

That bar scene was hilarious and cool two chapters! Can't wait for more! icon14.gif cookie.gif cookie.gif cookie.gif

  • Cubanwhip

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Posted 29 December 2006 - 12:40 AM

user posted image

user posted image

What do you think? Not the best because i suck with PS! Feel free to make better ones.

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Posted 29 December 2006 - 12:41 AM

One of the sexiest boxart's I've ever seen happy.gif

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Posted 29 December 2006 - 12:46 AM

That rocks CW!!!! icon14.gif Really creative.

  • Blackadder.

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Posted 29 December 2006 - 07:03 AM

Looks cool but I think the "Conclusion" looks alittle boring. Everything else is great!

Gaja 90
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Posted 30 December 2006 - 07:05 PM

Great, amaizing, fantastic - the Conclusion cool.gif colgate.gif

  • Rashon.

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Posted 30 December 2006 - 08:03 PM

Great chapters and excellent boxart. icon14.gif

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