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The decline of Liberty

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Parky.
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#211

Posted 31 July 2006 - 11:50 AM

Rawkage PK icon14.gif Great chapters this week.

Brutuz
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#212

Posted 31 July 2006 - 01:45 PM

Wow, thats great, like it's funny how claude talks now, I wouldn't mind it if someone made a mod to make this story a mission in all of the GTA's, also will Claude be going to SA?

Archaon, Lord of End Times
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#213

Posted 31 July 2006 - 04:45 PM

Excellent chapters, PK. Keep up the great work! icon14.gif cookie.gif cookie.gif cookie.gif cookie.gif cookie.gif

Vanilla Shake
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#214

Posted 31 July 2006 - 08:00 PM

Absolutley superb!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Keep up the GREAT work!!!!!!

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GtaGangsta
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#215

Posted 01 August 2006 - 04:41 AM

omfg omfg omfg that is ahhhhh i scream becuz i luv your story i swear this story is the best ever

PresidentKiller
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#216

Posted 10 August 2006 - 09:06 AM Edited by PresidentKiller, 28 April 2010 - 04:14 AM.

I'm really sorry about this extremely late update. I know this has been happening very often lately, but that's because things around here haven't been good. confused.gif

Anyway, here's this week's chapter. Enjoy, and please, forgive me for the delays.



user posted image
Higher Corruption Levels

Office, 9092 Louisiana Lane – Appleton Industrial District, North Vice City - Autumn 2001
Monday – 9:58 PM


The office is a very small room with old furniture and horrible decoration reminiscent of a cheap hotel room from the 1960’s. Claude, Ray and Barry are sitting on a couch while Tommy is sitting on a chair. They all are waiting for somebody on the other room although Claude doesn’t look too happy.

Claude: “I can’t believe we’re in this place!”

Tommy looks at Claude.

Tommy: “At least it’s a safe place. We can stay here for as long as we want.”

Claude: “That’s something I’m certainly not planning to do.”

Claude stands up and walks to the door, but it opens before he reaches the doorknob. Mike Toreno, wearing a well-known FBI jacket, appears on the scene carrying a folder.

Claude: “sh*t!”

Toreno: “Would you go back to that couch?”

Claude: “f*ck you, Toreno!”

Toreno: “You better show me some respect, boy. I saved your asses tonight! Besides, I told you I was going to kill you if you didn’t show up... and you didn’t.”

Claude: “What does it matter anyway? All hell broke lose...”

Tommy looks at Claude and Toreno.

Tommy: “How do you know each other anyway?”

Claude: “I met him in a huge ship at the docks. He was working with Ortega’s cousin.”

Toreno: “And you ruined my investigation. I was so close to getting near Ortega himself!”

Tommy: “Oh, I’ve been very close to him... Let’s just say it wasn’t a nice encounter.”

Toreno: “About that… they say you’ve disappeared without a trace all over the news.”

Claude: “And what about the incident at the hospital?”

Toreno: “What incident? Which hospital? There’s no proof that you ever set foot on that place. All the immediate witnesses were killed and the incident has been blamed on mal-functioning oxygen tanks.”

Barry quickly stands up.

Barry: “But what about the nurse’s report, and Dr. Chavez, and all the other people that saw us there?”

Tommy and Toreno laugh.

Tommy: “Relax. Haven’t you heard about the Ministry of Truth?”

Ray also stands up, although with some difficulty.

Ray: “I should bow before you, Vercetti. I can’t believe you’ve got influence on the FBI.”

Tommy and Toreno laugh again.

Tommy: “You’re so naïve, Ray. Having influence on the FBI is for amateurs.”

Ray: “What do you mean?”

Tommy: “Agent Toreno here is actually from the CIA. He disguised himself as an FBI agent in order to meet Ortega’s cousin, who’s a real FBI agent dealing drugs for his relatives.”

Toreno clears his throat.

Toreno: “That’s right. I was already tracking down some operations between Ortega and his cousin when that idiot over there…”

Toreno points at Claude.

Toreno: “… ruined everything. The proof that Ortega is a huge drug dealer has been lost, and it’ll be very difficult to find evidence of his connections with the Cartel.”

Claude: “I don’t understand. Why track down a drug-dealing suspect when you know Vercetti?”

Tommy: “Because I pay a great deal of money to the CIA so they can leave my operations alone...”

Toreno: “Vercetti’s contributions are so generous, that we even take care of some of his dirty jobs, such as eliminating the competition.”

Ray: “Wow! That’s something I didn’t know... and I thought I knew about everybody’s skeletons in the closet...”

Claude: “And how come you didn’t know anything about the plot against Vercetti’s empire?”

Tommy gets a bit serious, then turns around and looks at Toreno.

Tommy: “Yeah, I’m actually very interested in hearing about that.”

Toreno: “It took us by surprise, actually. Ortega is a very sneaky guy, and we found no proof of any conspiracies whatsoever, but we did notice a strong presence of the Leone Mafia on the city recently. It seems Fabrizio Leone and his gang are in the city right now.”

Claude: “They’re involved in the plot too. Ray and I know that for a fact.”

Tommy: “And almost all my employees and even my consigliere are in it.”

Toreno: “Your consigliere?”

Tommy: “Yeah, Ken Rosenberg. That f*cking asshole is going to pay for this!”

Toreno: “I can trace Ortega’s links with the Cartel, but I don’t think I’d be able to involve your former employees with him or the Mafia…”

Claude remembers about something.

Claude: “Oh sh*t! What happened to Paul??”

Toreno: “You mean the guy that ran away from the hospital?”

Claude: “Yes!”

Toreno: “He disappeared. The VCPD is still looking for him but they haven’t been successful.”

Claude: “Any clues?”

Toreno: “Not really. He just vanished, although we think he’s still alive. We’ve been looking in the sea and his body is nowhere to be found.”

Claude: “We just need to keep looking around, after all, the city is not that big.”

Toreno: “You should stay here. This place is safe.”

Tommy: “I miss my beloved marble walls and floors…”

Toreno: “Starfish Island has been taken by the Cartel. Your mansion is now home to Alberto Rosas.”

Tommy: “What? I thought Ortega would be sitting in my chair by now...”

Toreno: “As I told you, Ortega is very sneaky. If he takes over any of your properties, there’ll be irrefutable evidence that he’s involved with the Cartel.”

Claude: “I don’t understand. If Ortega has influence on the FBI, how come he doesn’t have influence on the local government?”

Ray: “I told you kid, Vercetti has the local government in his pocket.”

Claude: “But now that Vercetti is missing, what’s keeping Ortega from taking over?”

Tommy: “He knows I’ll take revenge, so he needs me dead. He’s just a pussy.”

Claude: “And what about the Cuban guy at the hospital?”

Toreno: “We’re still investigating him.”

Tommy: “Is my son all right?”

Toreno: “Of course. As soon as we knew about the invasion at Starfish Island we secured the hospital.”

Ray: “Well, it seems everything is just peachy, isn’t it?”

Toreno: “Not really. The Cubans are very confused. We have men around the Robina Financial Center right now and they’ll inform us if something happens there.”

Tommy: “I should pay a visit to Umberto. I need to make a massive withdrawal of funds.”

Toreno: “We checked your accounts, they seem intact.”

Tommy takes a nearby bottle of water and drinks it.

Tommy: “I hope they stay that way.”

Read Chapters 35 and 36

Brutuz
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#217

Posted 10 August 2006 - 09:14 AM

Now thats some good reading!

Vanilla Shake
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#218

Posted 10 August 2006 - 02:30 PM

Great Job!!!!!! cookie.gif cookie.gif cookie.gif icon14.gif icon14.gif icon14.gif

Cypress Hill
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#219

Posted 11 August 2006 - 07:31 PM

It keeps getting better. icon14.gif

Rown
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#220

Posted 12 August 2006 - 04:38 AM

This is still a good read PK, you have a talent and you're pretty good at it.

Rown rampage_ani.gif

gta player06
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#221

Posted 14 August 2006 - 02:15 PM

Well done PK! The story is really good. I can`t wait for other chapters.

Archaon, Lord of End Times
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#222

Posted 17 August 2006 - 01:19 AM

You, sir, are the master. icon14.gif

topdogkiller
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#223

Posted 17 August 2006 - 06:08 AM

you are a f*cking genus the more i read the more tense i get from reading this story. Don't stop what you're doing biggrin.gif

Pat
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#224

Posted 19 August 2006 - 04:43 AM

RAWR.
HURRY UP WITH THE NEXT CHAPTER.
anuj_cop.gif
I have to see itttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt!
YOU MUST SHARE YOUR GIFT WITH US.
Or else... Uhh... I'LL PUT A GUN UP TO THIS MAN'S HEAD.
sneaky2.gif suicidal.gif

I'll pull it.
Unless you meet my demands.
MORE CHAPTERS DAMN IT!
EmoPat signing off. viddy_pirate.gif

palaric8
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#225

Posted 22 August 2006 - 11:14 PM

dam i am a litle late
shame shame shame!

Vanilla Shake
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#226

Posted 23 August 2006 - 08:49 PM

This reminds me of people waiting in line to see Star Wars Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith. They were just going ballistic over the release of the movie, and I believe that it is safe to say, that "The Decline Of Liberty" is to GTA Fan Fiction the way Star Wars is to movies.........But, I understand. You have a life that stretches far beyond the realms of these mighty forums, and, as I imagine everybody else here agrees, lives come with problems. So, if you are having any sort of personal problems, then take your time. Besides, it gives me something to look forward to, like VCS and GTA IV............

Brutuz
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#227

Posted 24 August 2006 - 06:49 AM

QUOTE (Vanilla Shake @ Aug 24 2006, 07:49)
This reminds me of people waiting in line to see Star Wars Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith. They were just going ballistic over the release of the movie, and I believe that it is safe to say, that "The Decline Of Liberty" is to GTA Fan Fiction the way Star Wars is to movies.........But, I understand. You have a life that stretches far beyond the realms of these mighty forums, and, as I imagine everybody else here agrees, lives come with problems. So, if you are having any sort of personal problems, then take your time. Besides, it gives me something to look forward to, like VCS and GTA IV............

He tell's the Truth!

Magnificent_Bastard
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#228

Posted 24 August 2006 - 07:10 PM

OK, I joined up after years of loitering, to comment on PresidentKilller's fan fic. As a writer, I'm impressed. It's a good script, and if you could convince someone to make it into a machinima, I'd like to see how it comes out. Either that or get someone to make an online comic for it.

There are a few things I'm not too thrilled about, because as a fan of the games, I dig the characters. So long as you're bringing in some characters, how about some Fernando Martinez?

Still keep it up, I read the whole thing today, it's really good.

Rashon.
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#229

Posted 28 August 2006 - 08:17 PM

I had read all 34 chapters within the last couple days and I'd like to say, excellence points to you, PresidentKiller. biggrin.gif

palaric8
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#230

Posted 29 August 2006 - 08:14 PM Edited by palaric8, 30 August 2006 - 04:38 AM.

we need an updated PK biggrin.gif

we have another really good stories by cuban whip,but yours sr still kick ass!

EDIT:they already beat you on replies

S. Leone
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#231

Posted 30 August 2006 - 07:17 AM

Guys, PK hasn't been on since the 12th of August! wow.gif

Rashon.
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#232

Posted 30 August 2006 - 04:24 PM

QUOTE (S. Leone @ Aug 30 2006, 03:17)
Guys, PK hasn't been on since the 12th of August! wow.gif

I wonder where he is. confused.gif

Topic Rated Good. icon14.gif

Magnificent_Bastard
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#233

Posted 02 September 2006 - 04:12 AM

Holy Crap! Where the hell is PK? I've checked in on this thread 5 times today. Wouldn't it just be easier for him to finish the whole script and post it? Ugh! Hurry up dude, I'm like a rabid fanboy over here. Salivating for the next juicy morsel of GTA FAN FIC goodness!

HURRY UP!

Vanilla Shake
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#234

Posted 02 September 2006 - 03:02 PM

Well, I don't mean to jump to any conclusions, but he hasn't been on since the 12th. Let's all hope that nothing bad has happened to him...

Rashon.
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#235

Posted 02 September 2006 - 08:50 PM

QUOTE (Vanilla Shake @ Sep 2 2006, 11:02)
Well, I don't mean to jump to any conclusions, but he hasn't been on since the 12th. Let's all hope that nothing bad has happened to him...

He must be extremely busy. turn.gif

palaric8
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#236

Posted 03 September 2006 - 02:34 AM

QUOTE (rashon125 @ Sep 2 2006, 20:50)
QUOTE (Vanilla Shake @ Sep 2 2006, 11:02)
Well, I don't mean to jump to any conclusions, but he hasn't been on since the 12th. Let's all hope that nothing bad has happened to him...

He must be extremely busy. turn.gif

He is currently kidnapped by Dam houser and laslow confused.gif

Rashon.
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#237

Posted 03 September 2006 - 02:52 AM

QUOTE (palaric8 @ Sep 2 2006, 22:34)
QUOTE (rashon125 @ Sep 2 2006, 20:50)
QUOTE (Vanilla Shake @ Sep 2 2006, 11:02)
Well, I don't mean to jump to any conclusions, but he hasn't been on since the 12th. Let's all hope that nothing bad has happened to him...

He must be extremely busy. turn.gif

He is currently kidnapped by Dam houser and laslow confused.gif

They must want to hear PK's future chapters and keep us waiting. biggrin.gif

Rown
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#238

Posted 03 September 2006 - 03:03 AM

Rown walks in the door to see crazy fan boys looking around in shock and excitement.


Rown approahes one


"What's the commotion?"

"It's PK! No one's seen him in weeks! No one knows where he is!"

"While I could tell you a story of death, mystery, and disaster... that's what PK is working on.

As far as I know, PK has not been kidnapped, done away with, etc.

He is, as some have guessed... very busy lately. I won't go into the details because it is not essential that you hear them.

He will be back though, he will finish this story. And we will all probably be crapping ourselves in excitement.

Rome was not built in a day. And a good story must be given time to reach perfection. Much like a fine wine, it only gets better the longer you wait."

The crazed fan steps back in awe


"How do you know this?"

Rown gives a short chuckle and begins to walk away.


I have my ways.

Rown rampage_ani.gif

palaric8
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#239

Posted 03 September 2006 - 07:35 PM

QUOTE (Rown @ Sep 3 2006, 03:03)
Rown walks in the door to see crazy fan boys looking around in shock and excitement.


Rown approahes one


"What's the commotion?"

"It's PK! No one's seen him in weeks! No one knows where he is!"

"While I could tell you a story of death, mystery, and disaster... that's what PK is working on.

As far as I know, PK has not been kidnapped, done away with, etc.

He is, as some have guessed... very busy lately. I won't go into the details because it is not essential that you hear them.

He will be back though, he will finish this story. And we will all probably be crapping ourselves in excitement.

Rome was not built in a day. And a good story must be given time to reach perfection. Much like a fine wine, it only gets better the longer you wait."

The crazed fan steps back in awe


"How do you know this?"

Rown gives a short chuckle and begins to walk away.


I have my ways.

Rown rampage_ani.gif

haha biggrin.gif

Rashon.
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#240

Posted 04 September 2006 - 05:21 PM

QUOTE (Rown @ Sep 2 2006, 23:03)
Rown walks in the door to see crazy fan boys looking around in shock and excitement.


Rown approahes one


"What's the commotion?"

"It's PK! No one's seen him in weeks! No one knows where he is!"

"While I could tell you a story of death, mystery, and disaster... that's what PK is working on.

As far as I know, PK has not been kidnapped, done away with, etc.

He is, as some have guessed... very busy lately. I won't go into the details because it is not essential that you hear them.

He will be back though, he will finish this story. And we will all probably be crapping ourselves in excitement. 

Rome was not built in a day. And a good story must be given time to reach perfection. Much like a fine wine, it only gets better the longer you wait."

The crazed fan steps back in awe


"How do you know this?"

Rown gives a short chuckle and begins to walk away.


I have my ways.

Rown rampage_ani.gif

Good enough for me. biggrin.gif

I'll wait. suicidal.gif




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