The decline of Liberty
Posted 03 April 2011 - 06:14 AM
Anyway, the results from the Forum Awards came out last week and The Decline of Liberty won 2nd place in the Best Story category. I'd like to thank you all for your support and, despite not really winning anything, the fact that this story is still being followed after all these years is enough for me to feel like a winner. Thank you all.
Posted 12 April 2011 - 03:23 AM
In other news, I'm posting a new chapter at the end of the week, so you better be ready.
Posted 30 April 2011 - 06:59 AM
Posted 11 June 2011 - 06:16 AM
Don't worry. I'm getting back on track.
Posted 19 June 2011 - 02:32 AM
Posted 09 July 2011 - 05:54 AM Edited by PresidentKiller, 19 October 2011 - 04:12 AM.
The story will end soon. Not "soon" as in next week or next month but it will end THIS year and I hope you'd be amazed by it, or at least slightly amused. Just keep checking this place out every once in a while and enjoy!
Anyway, enough of this. I just hope you like the next chapter.
Mystery in the Desert
Outside 12 Main Street – El Quebrados, Tierra Robada - Winter 2001
Friday – 8:50 PM
Claude, Shinji and Ray stand outside a run-down building with boarded-up windows in the small town of El Quebrados. At one time, there was a business called “Berkley’s RC” operating from here, as the faded sign outside the building indicates.
Claude: “Are you sure this is the right place? It looks abandoned...”
Ray: “I don’t understand how somebody can live in a place like this.”
Shinji: “Well, the other guy’s place didn’t look that great either.”
Claude looks at both Ray and Shinji.
Claude: “Hey, I’ve lived in places like this many times! They’re quite comfortable and pretty low maintenance, you know?”
Ray: “Low maintenance? You got that right… anyway, shouldn’t we try to get in?”
Claude looks around. There seems to be a basement door adjacent to the building. Claude immediately attempts to open it, but it’s locked tight.
Shinji: “For crying out loud, let’s get this over with!”
Shinji quickly goes towards the basement door and kicks it open. Everyone take their guns out and quickly descend into the room.
Basement, 12 Main Street – El Quebrados, Tierra Robada - Winter 2001
Friday – 9:03 PM
The place is very dark. Ray takes out a flashlight and everyone notice a terrible mess and how it doesn’t seem to be inhabited anymore. It looks just like Null’s place but with older stuff and random crap lying on the floor. Shinji notices a brightly-colored box on a table and picks it up, but it appears to be empty.
Claude walks around carrying another flashlight and finds a sketchbook lying on an old recliner; he opens it and discovers some rough drawings of buildings, vehicles and floor plans, all of them dated last month.
Claude: “Well, these drawings are quite recent so this place hasn’t been abandoned for long.”
Ray: “I hope that freak didn’t trick us into coming here...”
Shinji keeps looking around and finds a piece of paper. He picks it up and takes a look at it. The code “A69 1226 2200” is written on it.
Shinji: “Guys, I found some sort of code...”
Everyone gather around Shinji and take a look at the code.
Ray: “Does it mean anything at all?”
Shinji: “It doesn’t look like an account number, maybe it’s a password or something...”
Claude: “Hey, guys… don’t you think we should go upstairs and see if we can find something that can help us?”
They all agree and decide to go upstairs.
Reception Area, 12 Main Street – El Quebrados, Tierra Robada - Winter 2001
Friday – 9:30 PM
This area is no different than the basement. There’s an old desk rotting away with a computer on it in what seems to be the former reception area of the building. There’re also several chairs, most of them tipped-over and full of cobwebs.
Shinji: “There’s a computer over there, maybe there’s something in it that can help us!”
Ray: “I’m not sure that thing would even turn on, to be honest…”
Shinji attempts to turn the machine on.
Shinji: “Well, it’s all we’ve got so we better check it out.”
The computer seems to work fine. Shinji looks around for a few minutes and finds something helpful.
Shinji: “Guys, I found something!”
Ray: “What is it?”
Shinji: “It’s some kind of bulletin about conspiracy theories.”
Shinji keeps reading.
Shinji: “It seems some people were planning to break into a military base somewhere.”
Ray remembers his days as a police officer.
Ray: “Back in the day we caught several people attempting to break into government offices so they could steal information that would back their silly claims.”
Claude: “After meeting a creep like Toreno, I don’t think those claims are silly anymore.”
Shinji: “It’s a place called Area 69.”
Ray: “Area 69??”
Shinji: “Yes, it says that right here.”
Ray: “That’s an urban legend, everyone knows that...”
Claude: “I wouldn’t be so sure, Ray. I’ve heard about that place before. It’s supposed to be somewhere in the desert.”
Ray: “Yeah and J.F.K. is chilling in some island and having drinks with Elvis and Marilyn Monroe, right?”
Claude: “You never know... I think we should check it out.”
Ray: “That’s ridiculous. Besides, if there’s really a place like that, I’m sure it’ll be full of people armed to the bone”
Claude: “I’m sure that if some weirdos are perfectly capable of getting in, so are we.”
Shinji: “But we don’t have many weapons, and we’re not sure if they did manage to get in, or out for that matter. If this guy’s been away for as long as it seems, I don’t think he ever made it.”
Claude: “What if he made it and he’s hiding somewhere else? We’ll never know unless we go over there and find out.”
Ray seems tired and annoyed.
Ray: “I say f*ck this and let’s find some other techno-moron who might be willing to help us! I’m sure there’re many of ‘em out there!”
Claude: “Do you know where to find one?”
Ray thinks for a moment. He eventually admits that he doesn’t know much about computers, and even less about people who use them.
Claude looks skeptical.
Ray: “All right, let’s go find a place that doesn’t exist...”
They all leave the building and get on their vehicles.
Outside Lil’ Probe’Inn – Bone County - Winter 2001
Friday – 10:47 PM
The guys arrive at a bar in the middle of the desert, with a very distinctive prop in front of it: a rotating UFO. It looks very bright and colorful in an otherwise dark and uninviting environment.
Ray: “What the hell is this place?”
Claude takes a piece of paper with information that Shinji got from that bulletin on the computer.
Claude: “This says that every person interested in the paranormal should visit this place. It was built in the 50’s around the same date as Area 69, or at least that’s what people believe.”
Ray: “This is silly. I can’t believe this place is still in business after 50 years...”
Shinji: “I guess paranormal stuff does sell.”
Claude: “It’s also believed that Area 69 is not that far away from here.”
Ray: “That’s even sillier. If that place is so secret, then how come people know about its location?”
Claude: “Well, they don’t exactly know that. It’s just believed it’s somewhere around here.”
Shinji: “We should take a look inside.”
Ray: “I need a drink. This stupidity is making my f*cking head hurt!”
They all make their way into the bar.
Lil’ Probe’Inn – Bone County - Winter 2001
Friday – 10:54 PM
The bar is decorated with all sorts of paranormal imagery. There’re pictures of UFO’s, aliens, bright lights and strange shadows all over the place, as well as country music playing in the background. However, there doesn’t seem to be anybody around, although there’re some drinks in the counter and the pool table appears to be in use.
Claude (loud): “Hello, is anybody around?”
There’s no response.
Ray: “All right, we’re in a bar in the middle of nowhere, with thousands of creepy images surrounding us, and everybody seems to be gone. I think I’m having that drink for sure before I get abducted by some idiot from outer space!”
Ray walks towards the counter, grabs a bottle of whisky and starts drinking heavily.
Claude: “Hey man, take it easy!”
Shinji looks everywhere but the place is definitely empty. There’s a locked door behind the counter.
Shinji: “There must be something in there.”
Shinji grabs his gun and shoots at the door knob. It opens immediately.
Ray keeps drinking while Shinji and Claude investigate the room.
Office, Lil’ Probe’Inn – Bone County - Winter 2001
Friday – 11:06 PM
The room appears to be the owner’s office. There’s a computer, several papers and some maps in a desk. There’s also a bulletin board filled with newspaper clippings and more paranormal photographs.
Shinji walks around the office and notices a cup of coffee on top of a file cabinet. He touches it and notices that it’s still warm.
Shinji: “All right, this just got even creepier. Somebody was here not too long ago, this thing is still warm!”
Shinji and Claude look around, and then look at each other.
Shinji: “Where the f*ck is everybody??”
Posted 10 July 2011 - 11:57 AM
Posted 17 July 2011 - 05:01 AM
Posted 17 July 2011 - 07:26 AM
Of course this needs to end, for real. Six years is way too long... I don't understand how Duke Nukem Forever ever made it but now I know how they all felt over the years...
Posted 18 August 2011 - 04:57 PM
Posted 19 August 2011 - 12:02 PM
Posted 19 August 2011 - 01:17 PM
|QUOTE (M.A.K @ Thursday, Aug 18 2011, 16:57)|
|Presidentkiller ,where are you ,mate ,don't let this die ,i can't be patient any more ,any news ???|
If he's anything like me, he'd probably a busy man!
I've been planning to read all of this for a while now. I may start it later when i go to bed (i read just before attempting to sleep).
From the little I HAVE read though it does seem good!
Posted 10 September 2011 - 07:43 PM
Posted 04 October 2011 - 05:15 PM
This may sound strange but after almost 5 years as I was about to go for a nap I've remembered that this forum exists and that I was a member. So instead of going to sleep and possibly forgetting about it I decided to check this forum out, the password came to me as I found a couple of my old threads with some of my first attempts at writing. Naturally the first place I went to, like back then, is this very section.
And what actually inspired me to start writing in the first place was reading stories from the 'writers discussion' lounge. Among others is this piece of art, which I am really glad to see is still going on. It's completely understandable if you don't remember me and have no idea who I am. Suffice to say that I am a fan for well over 5 years now.
I just wanted to thank you for reminding me of times passed, times when I read these pieces and wondered if I would ever write like that. Thank you for reminding me of the way I thought in the second half of 2006, and thank you for reminding me of the friends I've made.
I hope you are doing well in life good sir. And I hope you eventually bring this epic story to a close. As a fan from times long passed I should inform you that I will probably read your work in the next couple of days and that I will no doubt enjoy it very much. ^^
Posted 07 October 2011 - 03:34 AM
@Gaja: Dude, I'm glad you're still around this place and that I reminded you of past good times. Sometimes you wonder if what you do touches other people, and I'm honored to know that this was the case with you. Thanks for checking this out after all these years, and I can assure you this will get a proper epic ending.
Anyway, I've been busy. I moved out from my mother's house and had to do a lot of arrangements as a result. I'm just getting back on track with my forum life and with this story, but expect to see an update in the next few days. Thanks again for your patience.
Posted 08 October 2011 - 03:21 AM
Posted 19 October 2011 - 04:11 AM Edited by PresidentKiller, 21 November 2011 - 07:27 AM.
An Even Darker Secret - Part I
Outside Lil’ Probe’Inn – Bone County - Winter 2001
Friday – 11:30 PM
Everybody is outside the bar. The night is very cold and the moon is rising above the mountains in the desert and their surroundings.
Claude is shaking. His nose and cheeks are red and he tries to warm himself up with his hands.
Claude: “Did Hell just froze over or what?”
Ray: “We’re in the middle of the desert in the winter and it’s almost midnight. What did you expect?”
Shinji comes out from the back of the building.
Shinji: “There’s definitely no trace of anybody. It’s like they just vanished!”
Claude: “I think we should just go to that place and see what’s going on. I saw a map in the office. Area 69 is probably marked down somewhere.”
Ray is still skeptical.
Ray: “That’s ridiculous. I can’t understand why you still believe in this non-sense!”
Claude: “Oh, come on, Ray! You gotta admit there’s something going on here!”
Ray gets slightly angrier.
Ray: “Of course there’s something going on! You’re losing your f*cking minds!”
Ray quickly goes back inside the building.
Shinji: “What is his problem?”
Claude follows Ray into the bar.
Lil’ Probe’Inn – Bone County - Winter 2001
Friday – 11:41 PM
Ray grabs a bottle of whisky from the counter and attempts to drink it when Claude storms into the room.
Claude: “Ray, what’s wrong with you?”
Ray: “Leave me alone. You can go find that place if you want, but I’ll stay here!”
Ray takes a sip from the bottle. Claude immediately stops him.
Claude: “Listen to me!”
Ray puts away the bottle.
Ray: “Alright, alright!”
Claude: “I know this is too much. I know we’re all tired of this sh*t and want everything to be over, ok?”
Ray: “You’ve got that right...”
Claude: “Well, we should go all the way and be done with this for good. We’ve come a long way and it would be pretty stupid to stop now and accomplish nothing!”
Ray thinks for a moment.
Ray: “You’re right kid. I don’t believe in this Area 69 sh*t but if we’re getting closer to getting out of this f*cking mess, I guess I’m in...”
Claude: “Yes, that’s what I’m talking about! Let’s go!”
Claude and Ray leave the building. Everybody get into the car and proceed to look for Area 69.
Somewhere in the desert – Bone County - Winter 2001
Friday – 11:49 PM
Shinji is driving around while everybody else is looking at the desert, trying to find the mysterious Area 69.
A few minutes pass and nobody finds anything.
Claude: “Damn it! Where’s that place? Now it would be a good time for Toreno to show up!”
Ray: “If that f*cker is still alive, that is!”
Shinji keeps driving when the car suddenly breaks down.
Shinji: “What the hell?”
Shinji attempts to turn the engine on but it’s worthless. The car doesn’t work at all.
Claude: “What’s up? Even the radio stopped working...”
Ray looks out the window.
Ray: “The desert sure is creepy at night...”
Claude: “What time is it?”
Shinji looks at his watch.
Shinji: “It’s like 30 seconds to midnight.”
Claude: “Almost midnight and the car broke down in the middle of nowhere. What’s next?”
Some noises are heard outside.
Ray: “VERY creepy...”
Claude: “I think we should get out of the car.”
Ray is hesitant.
Ray: “I think I’ll stay here. Thanks.”
Shinji takes out his cellphone, but it doesn’t seem to work.
Shinji: “My phone is also gone. Damn it!”
Claude looks at his digital watch. It doesn’t work either.
Claude: “This is really f*cked up... what’s going on?”
Shinji: “We should take a look outside.”
Claude nods and both he and Shinji get out of the car. Ray immediately closes the door and locks himself inside.
Claude: “Hey Ray, what the f*ck?”
Ray opens the window.
Ray: “I’m sorry. You can take a look if you want but I’d rather stay here.”
Claude: “Oh Ray, I didn’t know you were such a chickensh*t. You look so tough.”
Ray: “I have my own reasons. Just mind your own business and leave me alone.”
Claude: “All right then.”
Claude and Shinji walk around the car and look at the horizon. They only see mountains and the dark sky with the Moon on their back. It’s very quiet and very cold and that makes them uneasy.
Claude: “I think we should walk that way…”
Claude points to the West. It looks exactly the same as everything around them.
Shinji: “I honestly don’t see why but alright. Go ahead and I’ll follow you.”
Claude walks to the West and Shinji follows. The wind starts blowing fiercely and the sand makes vision extremely difficult.
Shinji: “I can’t see a damn thing!”
Claude: “Just keep going!”
Claude and Shinji keep walking despite having no clue about where they’re going. After a few minutes, Claude bumps into something, hurting himself a little in the process.
Claude: “Holy f*ck! What the hell?”
Claude: “I just hit something with my foot. sh*t!”
Claude kneels down and tries touching around several times to find whatever he hit.
Claude: “I can’t find anything!”
Shinji walks a little more and steps on something. He and Claude immediately fall to the darkness of a mysterious place several feet below the ground until they reach the bottom and hit it hard.
Somewhere below the desert – Bone County - Winter 2001
Saturday – 12:21 AM
Claude: “My back! f*ck!”
Shinji: “Where the hell are we?”
Robotic Voice: “Silence! You’re trespassing a highly restricted area!”
Claude: “Trespassing my ass! We were just walking in the desert!”
Robotic Voice: “At midnight? Really?”
Claude: “Yes! Is that a crime?”
Robotic Voice: “It is if we say so!”
Shinji: “Why don’t you just show yourself? We can’t see anything here!”
Robotic Voice: “That’s the point. It means our experiment is a success!”
Shinji: “What kind of experiment? This is sick!”
Robotic Voice: “Don’t worry. You’ll know more about it in the morning. I suggest you stay right where you are though. You won’t survive if you walk anywhere further than this spot.”
Posted 12 November 2011 - 12:23 AM
|QUOTE (cidamelo @ Monday, Nov 7 2011, 01:29)|
|Ohh this is a really frightning chapter!!|
I haven't read all of this, but from what I have seen I really have enjoyed this. It's obviously dialogue driven but it's simplistic yet, enthrilling. Nice one man, I should have read it earlier!
Posted 14 November 2011 - 02:56 AM
Posted 14 November 2011 - 05:13 AM
Posted 15 November 2011 - 02:59 AM
|QUOTE (ccrogers15 @ Sunday, Nov 13 2011, 23:13)|
|cool but HOW DARE YOU KILL MARIA? i did not read further then there, so i dont know if she lived or not.|
Sorry about that dude. Hope you keep reading and enjoying it!
Posted 15 November 2011 - 04:10 AM
Posted 17 November 2011 - 11:41 PM
I've got a feeling in my gut that Claude's dad is someone in the story, or will show up later
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