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The decline of Liberty

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PresidentKiller
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#391

Posted 20 October 2010 - 03:27 AM

Sorry for the huge delay, I've been busy and also suffered from a terrible "writer's block". tounge.gif

I'm posting the new chapter in the next couple of days. Stay tuned. wink.gif

PresidentKiller
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#392

Posted 22 October 2010 - 03:47 AM Edited by PresidentKiller, 16 November 2010 - 06:02 AM.

Well, this is the new chapter... with a fitting title. tounge.gif

Hope you like it.


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Better Late Than Never

Corridor, Security Basement, Vercetti Resort – Downtown, Vice City - Autumn 2001
Tuesday – 5:45 PM


Shinji arrives to the Security Basement. He carefully walks outside of the elevator and looks around to make sure nobody's there. The place is dark as there're few lights switched on. The elevator bell rings announcing its departure, and as the doors slowly begin closing up, Shinji quickly gets inside preventing the elevator from leaving.

Shinji: "I gotta keep it on this floor. It's probably the only way to get in and out of here."

Shinji looks around again, he finds a planter and quickly places it between the elevator's doors.

Shinji: "That should do it."

Shinji walks through the corridor and finds a trail of blood on the floor. He quickly follows it to a very dark room. Shinji tries to find a light switch on either side of the doorway to no avail.


Room B101, Security Basement, Vercetti Resort – Downtown, Vice City - Autumn 2001
Tuesday – 5:53 PM


Shinji: "Damn, how am I supposed to get there?"

Shinji thinks for a second and takes his cell-phone out. He presses a button, lighting up the screen, and uses it as a very weak but effective flash light. He finally finds the switch and turns the lights on.

Shinji keeps following the trail of blood until he finds Claude lying on the floor, severely beaten up and covered in blood.

Shinji: "Dear God!"

Shinji quickly kneels down and takes Claude's pulse. He's alive but in a very critical condition.

Shinji: "Claude? Can you hear me?"

Shinji tries to reanimate him, but he's not responding. Shinji takes a look around the room. The place looks empty except for some boxes and the blood on the floor.

Shinji: "What the hell happened to you? Come on!"

Shinji leaves Claude back on the floor and gets out of the room holding his gun.


Corridor, Security Basement, Vercetti Resort – Downtown, Vice City - Autumn 2001
Tuesday – 5:58 PM


Shinji walks to the room next door, it's locked and Shinji kicks the door open. The lights are turned on but the place is empty too.

Shinji: "Damn it!"

Shinji quickly gets into the next room, but it's just like the others. As Shinji gets out, he hears some voices.

Shinji: "sh*t!"

Shinji slowly walks towards the corner and takes a look. There's another long corridor waiting for him, and the voices seem closer, coming out from another room. Shinji carefully approaches it and peeks inside. There're two men sitting on a table, talking about something.


Room B107, Security Basement, Vercetti Resort – Downtown, Vice City - Autumn 2001
Tuesday – 6:12 PM


Man 1: "... brains everywhere. I just can't believe he did it, totally unexpected!"

Man 2: "Wow, that doesn't sound like a nice sight..."

Man 1: "You bet! I don't know what to tell Fabrizio. He's not gonna believe it!"

Man 2: "I know I wouldn't believe it either, but how come he doesn't know yet?"

Man 1: "He got a call from LC. Something came up and he had to leave."

Man 2: "Things are still hot up there?"

Man 1: "I don't know. I haven't talked to anybody yet, and the media doesn't say anything new..."

Shinji (thinking): "These guys must be from the Mob!"

Man 1: "By the way, what are we doing with those guys?"

Man 2: "We're only keeping Speed alive to send him back to Liberty. We have to kill the others."

Man 1: "Any leads on the cop?"

Man 2: "Nope. We're looking everywhere. He probably ran away."

Man 1: "And the British guy?"

Man 2: "An ambulance took him to a hospital in Cottonmouth, but we heard he didn't make it."

Man 1: "Well, we better take Speed to a doctor. We don't want him to die before his punishment..."

As the men prepare to leave the room, Shinji quickly jumps in front of them and shoots them both in the forehead, they immediately drop dead and start bleeding.

Shinji: "f*cking idiots..."

Shinji searches the guys' pockets and takes their guns and ammo, then he looks around the room and finds an old Fruit Hooke PDA laying in a corner that he puts in his pocket.

Shinji: "I'll take a look at it later. It probably has some useful information about these guys."

Shinji comes out of the room. It's really quiet.


Corridor, Security Basement, Vercetti Resort – Downtown, Vice City - Autumn 2001
Tuesday – 6:25 PM


Shinji: "I better take Claude out of here!"

Shinji attempts to go where Claude is, but he suddenly hears something coming from the other side of the hallway.

Shinji: "f*ck, there must be somebody else still around here!"

Shinji walks back to the other side, a hand appears from the shadows, covers his mouth and grabs him. Shinji attempts to fight back, but his assailant takes out a gun and points it at his head.

Voice: "Ok, we're doing this nice and easy or else I'm f*cking killing you!!"

The mysterious man attempts to take Shinji with him, but another man appears behind him.

Voice 2: "Leave him alone Barry, he's friendly!"

Voice: "What are you saying, Ray?"

Barry, Vercetti's employee, attempted to take Shinji with him, but Ray recognized his old friend and stopped him. Barry lets Shinji go.

Shinji: "Ray?? What are you doing here?"

Shinji looks genuinely surprised.

Ray: "We came here to rescue Claude and some other people, now what the hell are YOU doing here?"

Shinji: "I also came here looking for Claude, I didn't know anything about him after my men got killed down here! He's in a pretty bad shape!"

Ray: "Where is he?"

Shinji: "In a room over there!"

Shinji points to the opposite side of the corridor. Ray starts walking in that direction.

Ray: "We better take him to a doctor, immediately!"

Barry and Shinji nod and quickly follow Ray.

Ray: "Did you see somebody else?"

Shinji: "Only a couple of wiseguys. I took care of them."

Everyone notice the bodies of the two men on the floor.

Ray: "Yeah, I can see that. Nice job!"

Shinji: "So what's going on? How come Claude ended up like that?"

Ray: "It's a very long story, kid. We'll catch up on the way to the hospital..."


Read Chapter 50

Prasdana
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#393

Posted 22 October 2010 - 10:17 PM

this is good chapter icon14.gif do you want some cookies? cookie.gif cookie.gif cookie.gif

cidamelo
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#394

Posted 28 October 2010 - 10:59 PM

Hi PresidentKiller I love your story!!

PresidentKiller
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#395

Posted 01 November 2010 - 06:06 AM

Thanks for the comments. Hopefully I'll post a new chapter next week. icon14.gif

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#396

Posted 01 November 2010 - 03:22 PM

love it ,awesome story can't wait for the next chapter i was just wondering how many chapters do you plan to have

oh one more thing won't it be cool if after finishing this story u send it to rockstar game's and maybe just maybe they would like it so much that they might make out a "GRAND THEFT AUTO:THE FINALE" out of it huh! sigh.gif but i might be dreaming to much lol.gif

PresidentKiller
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#397

Posted 06 November 2010 - 05:46 AM

Thanks for the comment. I'm planning on writing another 20 chapters at least, I just need to speed things up a bit. I'd gladly send it to R*, but I don't think they're interested in the "old" GTAIII-era story anymore, unfortunately.

The next chapter will be ready in a few more days, stay tuned. wink.gif

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#398

Posted 16 November 2010 - 06:01 AM Edited by PresidentKiller, 08 January 2011 - 06:04 AM.

I know it took more than a "few" days, but I'm sure you'll enjoy this one. wink.gif



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Profile of an American Criminal - Part I

Hospital Room - Somewhere in the West Coast - Winter 2001
Friday – 3:30 AM


The room is very dark and cold on this rainy winter night. You can barely distinguish the equipment and general appearance of the room. The strong thunder sounds coming from outside make the place look and feel even creepier.

Claude is lying in bed, sweating and moving a lot while sleeping. He’s dreaming about his past, about all the things he’s done and all the people he’s met, but as his behavior shows, it’s probably not a happy story. It all begins in a hospital room, just like this one, a long time ago...


Maternity Room, Hôpital Américain de Paris – Paris, France - Winter 1971
Wednesday – 1:18 PM


A mother can be seen hugging and taking care of her newborn. The baby boy is staring happily at his mother while grabbing her hand constantly.

A man appears on the scene. He’s clearly the boy’s father as he also takes a look at him and smiles and then kisses them both.

Mother: “I think I’m naming him Claude, just like his grandfather. What do you think?”

Father: “I like that name dear. I only see good things for him!”

The baby keeps smiling at his parents: an American car salesman and a French nurse that met when they were both touring the Louvre and immediately fell in love. She quit her job at the hospital in Paris to live with him in the city of San Fierro, where everybody wears flowers in their hair… or so they say. Two years later, they came back to the City of Love for their anniversary, which was then suddenly interrupted by Claude’s birth.


Claude’s room, Speed Residence – Calton Heights, San Fierro - Autumn 1979
Friday – 5:40 PM


The Speed residence is one of the nicest houses in the neighborhood. Claude’s room is like any other children’s room, filled with toys, comic books and school drawings.

Claude’s taking a nap. He played an hour ago with a new toy his uncle sent him from France. He ended up completely exhausted.

Some noises are heard outside the room. Claude’s parents are heatedly arguing. Mr. Speed tries to explain to his wife how the continuous oil shortages and other economic downturns might represent the end of their wealthy lives.


Office, Speed Motors – Doherty, San Fierro - Summer 1980
Monday – 10:02 AM


Mr. Speed is having a meeting with some Chinese businessmen. He hasn’t sold a single car in over two months and he’s in the brink of bankruptcy. Competing dealerships sell smaller and more fuel-efficient cars from Maibatsu Motors like pancakes. He declined doing business with the then new players in the auto industry as he’s just in love with American cars, especially the classic models from his youth that represented an era that won’t ever come back.

Speed Motors will now become Wang Cars. Mr. Speed will only retain 10% ownership of the business.


Living Room, Speed Residence – Calton Heights, San Fierro - Summer 1980
Thursday – 3:24 PM


The living room in the once glorious residence of the Speed family is now almost completely empty. Paintings have been removed from the walls and sold at auction while most of the furniture and all the cars have been repossessed by the Bank of San Andreas.

Little Claude is crying in his mother’s arms as his toys and other possessions are being taken away.

Mr. Speed is looking outside the window, staring at the men driving his Polaris V8 out of the garage. That was the first muscle car he ever owned, and it will be the last.


Claude’s Room, Apartment 5C, Cypress Building – Doherty, San Fierro - Autumn 1980
Saturday – 11:35 PM


The Speed family had to move out from their fancy residence into a modest apartment, near the car dealership Claude’s father once completely owned. It’s a very windy night, but Claude’s sleeping peacefully while holding the last reminder of his lavish past life: a hand-made teddy bear that Mr. Speed got when he went on a business trip to England a couple of years ago.

Mr. Speed enters the room, noticeably disturbed about something. He kisses Claude and tucks him in; then he starts crying and leaves the room immediately. Claude won’t ever see or know anything about him again.


Classroom, Easter Basin High School – Easter Basin, San Fierro - Spring 1988
Tuesday – 9:20 AM


Most of the kids in the classroom are somewhat paying attention to the teacher, while the rest are just goofing-off as usual. Claude is drawing an old car reminiscent of his father’s Polaris V8 in his notebook, not caring about the class, the teacher or anybody else.
One of Claude’s classmates, a guy who looks much taller and stronger than him, notices it and after a few seconds, he tries to get Claude’s attention.

Classmate: “That’s a good drawing, dude! Do you like cars?”

Claude keeps drawing on his notebook, ignoring the question.

Classmate: “What is it? Are you a mute or what?”

Claude stops drawing and looks at his classmate.

Claude: “I’m not. Do you want to become one?”

Classmate: “Calm down, tough guy! I just wanted to make you a business proposition...”

Claude: “I’m not interested...”

Classmate: “Come on! I know you’ll love it! How well can you drive?”

Claude begins to show a slight interest in the proposition.


Living Room, Apartment 5C, Cypress Building – Doherty, San Fierro - Summer 1988
Sunday – 2:39 AM


The room is completely dark. Some steps are heard approaching the front door of the apartment. As the door is opened, the lights in the room are turned on. Mrs. Speed, wearing a bathrobe and holding a lit cigarette in her hand, just surprised his son arriving home.

Mrs. Speed: “Claude, do you have any idea about how late it is?”

Claude is visibly upset. He closes the door.

Claude: “I know it’s late, mom. I was hanging out with some friends and lost track of time!”

Mrs. Speed: “Don’t lie to me, Claude! What are you hiding from me? I saw you at that old gas station at the other side of the block yesterday!”

Claude: “Since when are you spying on me?”

Mrs. Speed: “Since I noticed you don’t come home after school anymore. I don’t want to find out you’re doing something you might regret later in life!”

Claude: “Give me a break, would you?”

Claude immediately runs to his room and locks himself.


Classroom, Easter Basin High School – Easter Basin, San Fierro - Autumn 1988
Thursday – 11:05 AM


Claude and his classmates are coming out from under their desks. An earthquake just happened minutes ago and everybody’s pretty shocked. The principal comes into the classroom.

Principal: “Is everybody all right?”

The students look around them. Everybody seems to be fine but some books and a lamp have fallen to the ground.

Principal: “Please stay here while we run a damage assessment and make sure nobody’s injured. We’ll be calling your parents as soon as possible!”

Claude grabs his backpack, takes out a cigarette and lights it up, despite being prohibited.

Claude: “f*cking earthquakes!”


Classroom, Easter Basin High School – Easter Basin, San Fierro - Autumn 1988
Thursday – 1:40 PM


Claude is desperate. Most of his classmates have left; few students remain on the premises as school authorities are trying to reach their parents. Claude finally stands up and walks towards a teacher blocking the classroom’s entrance.

Claude: “Can I go now?”

Teacher: “You can’t leave. We haven’t managed to contact your family yet...”

Claude: “My mom works at the hospital. I’m sure she’s fine.”

Teacher: “Listen Claude, we called the hospital and they said your mother is not there. She had to leave early to run some errands and she never came back.”

Claude: “What about home? Have you tried reaching her there?”

The teacher finds it hard to say what he wants to tell Claude.

Teacher: “Come with me, would you? Let’s take a walk...”

Claude goes back to get his things and accompanies the teacher. They both get into the principal’s office to have some privacy.


Principal’s Office, Easter Basin High School – Easter Basin, San Fierro - Autumn 1988
Thursday – 1:57 PM


Teacher: “I’m sorry to tell you this, kid. Your neighborhood was severely damaged by the earthquake. We’ve been told your entire block was destroyed...”

Claude is completely shocked. He can’t believe what he’s hearing.

Claude: “What are you trying to tell me?”

Teacher: “Listen, we don’t know what happened to your mother, but right now, your house has been destroyed. That’s why we haven’t let you and other students leave the premises, you have nowhere to go.”

Claude bursts into tears. The teacher tries comforting him but Claude is completely disturbed by the news.

Claude (crying): “I just hope she’s alright... I don’t want to lose her too”


Principal’s Office, Easter Basin High School – Easter Basin, San Fierro - Autumn 1988
Thursday – 4:20 PM


Claude is lying on a couch, pretty upset and depressed about the whole thing. The teacher comes inside with an unsettling look on his face.

Teacher: “Listen kid, I’m so sorry...”

Claude listens to the teacher and immediately bursts into tears again. He begins screaming and hitting the table in front of the couch. The teacher just gave him terrible news: his mother was killed during the earthquake when the Garver double-decker freeway collapsed.


Read Chapter 51

Prasdana
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#399

Posted 17 November 2010 - 06:17 AM

an emotional part. here's your cookie cookie.gif

PresidentKiller
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#400

Posted 20 November 2010 - 04:55 AM

Thanks man. icon14.gif

I've noticed many people read this, yet they don't post anything. I'll gladly read your comments and suggestions, so don't be afraid to post them. wink.gif

Prasdana
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#401

Posted 26 November 2010 - 09:20 AM

400 Post by me biggrin.gif , lol.

a question:
if Cj appears in this story will he become Claude's friend or enemy?

PresidentKiller
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#402

Posted 27 November 2010 - 05:10 AM

He will appear in the story, but not in the way you're probably expecting. moto_whistle.gif

PresidentKiller
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#403

Posted 12 December 2010 - 05:32 AM

Hey guys, I just wanted to let you know that I'll be posting the next chapter next week... I'll also add a little extra as an early Xmas present. wink.gif

Hang in there.

Prasdana
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#404

Posted 12 December 2010 - 10:36 AM

I'll stay in here biggrin.gif

PresidentKiller
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#405

Posted 04 January 2011 - 05:21 AM

Sorry about the delay, but this Holiday season was chaotic to say the least. The new chapter is ready but still needs to be polished a bit, I'll post it on Friday.

Thanks for understanding and I hope you all had a great Xmas and enjoy a very good New Year. icon14.gif

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#406

Posted 04 January 2011 - 11:03 PM

I love this story. icon14.gif cookie.gif

PresidentKiller
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#407

Posted 08 January 2011 - 06:03 AM Edited by PresidentKiller, 13 March 2011 - 07:34 AM.

Ok guys, here it is. I really hope you like it. wink.gif


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Profile of an American Criminal - Part II

Hospital Room - Somewhere in the West Coast - Winter 2001
Friday – 6:02 AM


As Claude is still lying in bed, daylight starts coming through the window shades. He’s still dreaming about his past and what he has become…


Principal’s Office, Easter Basin High School – Easter Basin, San Fierro - Summer 1989
Friday – 12:08 PM


Claude is sitting in a chair in front of the principal’s desk. He’s being lectured about his recent behavior in school and the conflicts arising between him and plenty of his classmates.

Principal: “... is just ridiculous! You’re very talented, yet you’re wasting that talent away with those scumbags you hang out with!”

Claude: “Those scumbags are now the only family I have, asshole!”

The principal’s not amused by Claude’s reply.

Principal: “How dare you to call me that?? Listen son, I understand you lost everything in the earthquake, but that’s no reason to let yourself go to waste like that and behave like such a piece of trash! Either you get your act together your last days at school and move on, or get the hell out of here and keep pitting your sorry ass!”

Claude immediately stands up and walks towards the door.

Claude: “f*ck you, I’m outta here!”

Claude leaves the room. He’ll never set foot at any school again.


Ruins of the Cypress Building – Doherty, San Fierro - Summer 1989
Friday – 12:31 PM


A very disturbed Claude is standing in the middle of the collapsed apartment building, where he once lived with his mother. He’s thinking about everything that has happened and how he misses his family so much. He starts having flashbacks about his childhood and the brief moments he spent with his father back at their old house.

Claude takes a look at his surroundings. There’s nothing much left after almost a year since the earthquake shattered his life and his dreams. He quickly looks up above; the skies are clear and the sun shines strong.

As Claude begins to lower his head, he gets distracted by something hanging from the collapsed second floor. Claude carefully climbs some debris up to reach it. It’s covered in dirt and dust so he attempts to clean it, only to discover his favorite teddy bear, the one he was holding when his father said goodbye to him while he was taking a nap.

Claude can’t take it anymore and bursts into tears.

Claude (crying): “Mom! Dad! I miss you so much! Why did you leave me??”

Claude throws himself on the ground and keeps crying. He eventually falls asleep holding the bear, just like he did all those years ago.


Outside the Old Xoomer Gas Station – Doherty, San Fierro - Spring 1991
Sunday – 2:19 PM


It’s a calm Sunday in the city as there’re hardly any cars on the street. There’re some people walking on the sidewalk in front of Claude’s place. Claude’s hanging out where gas pumps once used to be.

As Claude keeps contemplating the scene, one of his friends approaches him.

Friend: “Hey dude, I’ve got a race for you!”

Claude: “No way man, it’s Sunday. I’m tired and the last one was a mess. We almost got caught!”

Friend: “Yeah, yeah. You keep saying that every time we see each other. I’m sorry I didn’t figure out it was a trap. How many times will you keep rubbing it on my face?”

Claude: “Only ‘till the day I die…”

Friend: “HA! You’re really funny. Listen, do you want to make some money or not?”

Claude: “What are you planning?”

Friend: “A race in the woods around Red County, how about that?”

Claude: “In the woods?”

Friend: “We don’t want the cops snooping around, do we?”

Claude: “I dunno man, my car’s not ready yet…”

Friend: “Come on! You won’t believe who’s the main challenger!”

Claude: “Who?”

Friend: “Some blind dude from Chinatown! How outrageous is that?”

Claude: “A blind racer? Are you serious?”

Friend: “I’m f*cking serious, dude! It’ll be a piece of cake!”

Claude: “It smells like another trap to me…”

Friend: “This sh*t’s real, dude! I’ve heard he’s a Triad or something…”

Claude: “A Triad? I don’t like the sound of that…”

Friend: “Come on man! It’ll be the easiest buck you’ll ever make!”

Claude thinks for a moment.

Claude: “Ok. But if this turns out to be another trap, I’ll kick the living sh*t out of you!”

Claude walks to the garage and takes his car out. A restored ZR-350 that was recovered from the collapsed Garver freeway and that he has been tweaking and improving ever since.


Outside the Old Xoomer Gas Station – Doherty, San Fierro - Spring 1991
Sunday – 6:45 PM


Claude and his friend just got back from the race. Claude finishes parking his car in the garage and gets out.

Claude: “Whoa! That was intense!”

Friend: “I told you dude!”

Claude: “It wasn’t that easy, though. I don’t understand how he manages to drive so well!”

Friend: “I think the girls at his side had something to do with it!”

Claude: “Yeah, I think so too”

Friend: “So, are we doing this next week again?”

Claude: “Of course! I love this!”


Hospital Room - Somewhere in the West Coast - Winter 2001
Friday – 6:59 AM


A sweaty Claude is starting to move violently while still deeply asleep. He seems to be having a nightmare…


Welcome Pump Diner – Dillimore, Red County – Winter/Spring 1992
Tuesday – 1:04 PM


Claude and some friends are eating and having a great time. They just won a race against one of the many street gangs from Los Santos and they’re celebrating.

Claude stands up and goes to the bathroom. When he’s on his way back to the table, he notices an attractive Hispanic woman entering the place. She seems pretty upset about something.

Claude approaches the woman.

Claude: “Are you alright?”

The woman looks at Claude.

Woman: “No! Of course I’m not alright!”

Claude: “Why? What happened?”

Woman: “I hate men! Stay away from me!”

Claude backs-off a little.

Claude: “I’m sorry! I’m just trying to help!”

Woman: “Men are pigs! I don’t need any help from a pig!”

Claude: “Ok, ok… carry on. I’ll just go back to my table… sheez!”

The owner of the place recognizes the woman.

Owner: “What the hell are you doing here?”

Woman: “I go to wherever the hell I want!”

Owner: “You better get out of here before I call the sheriff!”

Woman: “Do you need the sheriff to hold your dick while you pee as well? Or does he only grab you by the balls?”

The owner gets noticeably mad and immediately pulls out a shotgun from under the counter. Claude notices this and immediately tackles down the man and grabs the gun.

Claude points the gun at the owner and looks at the woman.

Claude: “Are you ok?”

The woman seems a bit nervous, but she quickly recovers.

Woman: “Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks.”

Claude: “Alright, let’s go!”

Claude, the woman and his friends leave the diner.


Outside the Welcome Pump Diner – Dillimore, Red County – Winter/Spring 1992
Tuesday – 1:25 PM


Claude: “Ok guys, I’ll see you later!”

Claude’s friends get on a pick-up truck parked outside, wave at him and leave.

Claude looks back at the woman.

Claude: “What’s your name?”

Woman: “I’m Catalina.”

Claude: “My name’s Claude. Do you need a ride?”

Catalina: “Sure, and thanks again…”


Hospital Room - Somewhere in the West Coast - Winter 2001
Friday – 7:10 AM


Claude immediately wakes up. He’s all sweaty and shaking.

Claude (agitated): “Wha.. where the hell am I?”

Ray immediately stands up from a chair next to Claude’s bed.

Ray: “Easy kid, everything’s fine. You’re in the hospital.”



Read Chapter 52

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#408

Posted 08 January 2011 - 06:24 AM

Hi this was one of the best chapters!!!

PresidentKiller
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#409

Posted 20 January 2011 - 05:27 AM

Hey guys, I'm posting a new chapter next week.

I know I sound like a scratched record, but you're liking what you're reading, right? Or at least I haven't heard otherwise... tounge.gif

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#410

Posted 16 February 2011 - 05:01 AM

Hey guys, sorry for not posting any updates. I'm in the middle of a writer's block as we're nearing the conclusion of this epic story and I want to make something memorable and that takes time. I know this story is not as popular as it once was, but I'm doing my best and I hope the few of you that still check this out every one in a while understand this.

I'll gladly listen to any comments or suggestions you might have. Thanks again and have a great day! smile.gif

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#411

Posted 16 February 2011 - 10:36 AM

I admire your work, it's just there is so much to read that i have missed out, probably because i wasn't even a member when you started writing this, i read some of your chapters though they are really good.

PresidentKiller
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#412

Posted 20 February 2011 - 07:32 AM

Thanks man. I appreciate your comments and the fact that you check this regularly.

I know this is a long story, and the ending's been way overdue, but I don't want it to feel rushed or like a half-assed attempt to finish it once and for all. I'm building up some stuff for the final chapters that needs to make sense and somehow give GTA III's story the proper epic ending it deserves and to give some closure to the many things that went unanswered in Vice City and San Andreas.

I hope I can come up with something over the next few days, but as usual, don't hold your breath... lol

Thanks again. smile.gif

silentsharklol
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#413

Posted 04 March 2011 - 02:47 AM

I wish the next chapter comes soon. panic.gif

PresidentKiller
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#414

Posted 13 March 2011 - 07:32 AM Edited by PresidentKiller, 26 March 2011 - 08:33 PM.

QUOTE (silentsharklol @ Mar 3 2011, 20:47)
I wish the next chapter comes soon. panic.gif

Ask and you shall receive. wink.gif

Again, sorry for the terrible delay. I got inspired these days so I finally got over the writer's block. Expect more regular updates. icon14.gif


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Waking Up at Home

Hospital Room - Somewhere in the West Coast - Winter 2001
Friday – 2:02 PM


Claude is still lying on bed. He’s still pretty confused and doesn’t remember anything.

Claude: “Those dreams… my childhood… oh God, it was painful!”

Ray is walking around the room. The place is a lot more welcoming and charming during the day, but it still depresses Claude, causing him pain like he has never experienced before.

Claude turns to Ray.

Claude: “What happened? How long have I been here?”

Ray stays silent for a moment and finally replies.

Ray: “It’s been almost 2 months since you got here, kid. You were in a coma after the Mob kicked the sh*t out of you!”

Claude (shocked): “Oh, God! Two f*cking months?”

Ray: “Yes. Shinji Kasen, Barry and I found you unconscious and bleeding to death in that hotel’s basement…”

Claude tries to remember something, but it’s useless.

Claude: “I can’t remember anything!”

Claude tries again. He suddenly remembers about Maria and how he left her in Liberty under Shinji’s care.

Claude: “Wait a second, was Shinji with you?”

Ray: “Well, he got there before we did. He even took out some dirtballs that were patrolling the place.”

Claude: “Was Maria with him?”

Ray is about to answer when Shinji suddenly gets into the room.

Shinji: “I’ll answer that...”

Shinji takes a big breath.

Shinji: “I honestly don’t know where she is. Toni Cipriani came to our casino and burned it to the ground, and he took Maria with him in the process. I’m really sorry to disappoint you.”

Claude: “What??!!”

Shinji: “I know you trusted us, but there was nothing we could do. The Zaibatsu took over the city and the Mafia annihilated us!”

Claude: “And what the hell are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be looking for her?”

Claude looks around.

Claude: “And where am I anyway?”

Shinji: “We’re at the San Fierro Medical Center. We had to leave Vice City and Ray suggested us to bring you to your home town so you could be safe.”

Claude: “I’m in San Fierro? What the hell happened in Vice City? Where’s Vercetti?”

Ray: “Listen, you were ambushed by the Mafia. Vercetti and Toreno are missing. You were almost beaten to death. We only found you because Barry and I caught one of Vercetti’s former goons and tortured him until he told us about your whereabouts!”

Shinji: “I went to Vice City because I needed to bring you back to Liberty and I didn’t know anything about you since you left.”

Claude: “Wait a second! Vercetti and Toreno are missing? How’s that even possible?”

Ray: “We haven’t heard anything about them, not even in the news. Word on the street is that Vercetti’s dead, but none of my contacts have been able to confirm it or deny it.”

Claude touches his forehead. He has a terrible headache.

Claude: “Oh God! My head is hurting like hell!”

Ray: “You just woke up a few hours ago after all those weeks… Your body is adjusting, that’s all.”

Claude: “When am I getting out of here? I need to find Maria!”

Ray: “Forget about going back to Liberty! It’s too dangerous and the Mafia might be looking for you! You’re safe here!”

Claude: “I have to find her!”

Ray: “The Mafia is just too powerful now. Fabrizio Leone is a real son of a bitch that makes the late Salvatore look like a fairy in comparison! Don’t be stupid and just move on with your life!”

Claude gets really mad.

Claude (angry): “I DON’T HAVE A LIFE! I NEVER DID!”

Claude clears his throat and calms down a little.

Claude: “I always did what I was told to do! For once I want to make my own decisions!”

Ray: “But that decision is stupid! You need weapons, men and other resources we don’t have!”

Shinji interrupts Ray.

Shinji: “That’s why I was looking for you, Claude. I know a man who has the resources, but we have to go back to Liberty!”

Claude: “Hang on a second, Shinji. You sent me down to Vice looking for a man that could help us and look what happened!”

Shinji shrugs.

Claude: “That man is probably dead, and now the Mafia is more powerful than ever and I left a troubled kid without a father!”

Claude coughs.

Claude: “And I wouldn’t be surprised if that kid’s dead by now!”

Ray: “Don’t carry the weight of the world in your shoulders, kid. That plot against Vercetti was planned long before you even set foot in Vice City. He was going down, whether you met him or not!”

Claude: “But that kid, Ray! That poor kid! He’ll be growing up without a father, just as I did, and look how much of a screw-up I am!”

Ray: “Come on! That kid was doomed since he was born. Vercetti never cared about him, so it wouldn’t be much of a difference now, don’t you think?”

Claude: “Still, Vercetti seemed devastated after what happened to Johnny. I’m sure he would’ve done things right from then on!”

Ray: “Don’t kid yourself. People like him never change!”

Ray looks at Claude in a funny way.

Ray: “And that coma seriously damaged your brain. You never cared about anybody, not even yourself, and suddenly you want to find a girl and feel sorry for a messed-up kid?”

Claude: “I wasn’t always a cold-blooded bastard, you know? I had dreams about my childhood and I remembered, even for a second, about how great it was at one time. Then my father left us and my life turned into sh*t, that’s why I feel bad about Johnny and somehow responsible for what has happened to him...”

Ray looks skeptical.

Claude: “I don’t think Johnny is doomed. He just wanted some attention from his father.”

Ray: “Well, if Vercetti’s dead indeed, I don’t think that boy can be saved…”

Claude looks desperate. He starts scratching his head.

Claude: “Damn it! We need to do something!”

Claude has an idea.

Claude: “Is Fabrizio Leone still in Vice City?”

Ray: “As far as I know, he’s taking care of something up in Liberty.”

Claude: “We’re near Los Santos, we could try to take over his turf to weaken him while he’s away. Then we can go back to Vice City to find Vercetti and finally use his resources against the Leones in Liberty.”

Ray: “You’re out of your mind, kid. That’s a very crazy idea, and we still need men, weapons and to do some serious planning.”

Shinji: “You need more than that. The Leones won’t go down without a fight, and the Zaibatsu might get involved after the Leones disappear to try and get over their turf and businesses.”

Barry enters the room. He was standing outside but couldn’t resist overhearing the conversation.

Barry: “I know a guy from here that can help us.”

Ray looks at Barry.

Ray: “How so? I thought you never left Vice City before.”

Barry: “Well, uh…”

Barry is a little embarrassed.

Barry: “… I like to play online games sometimes. I meet a lot of people from all over the world and that’s how I met this guy.”

Ray: “’Online games’? What the hell is that?”

Barry: “On the computer. You log on to a website on the Internet and start playing any game you like against other people. It’s quite fun!”

Ray: “You young people and your computers make me sick. What happened with the old-fashioned baseball and football games kids used to play in the park?”

Barry: “I believe kids still do that. But I was always a shy guy and couldn’t really relate with anybody else until I browsed the net for the first time.”

Ray looks at Barry in disbelief.

Ray: “Unbelievable! And how is somebody like that supposed to help us?”

Barry: “These days, information might be a better weapon than a gun, you know?”

Ray: “All right then. We really have nothing better to do anyway...”


Read Chapter 53

M.A.K
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#415

Posted 13 March 2011 - 10:14 AM

frickin sweat dude can't wait for the next chapter biggrin.gif cookies for you cookie.gif cookie.gif cookie.gif cookie.gif

PresidentKiller
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#416

Posted 18 March 2011 - 12:54 AM

Thanks. The next chapter will be posted very soon. wink.gif

Kalvin'
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#417

Posted 19 March 2011 - 01:56 AM

I have got to say, for like a week i have been looking through all the chapters. I really have to say, i'm really impressed, over 6 years and you're still going, i think this is really great. Vice City, San Andreas, Liberty City. All city's in 1 HUGE story, carry on dude! I hope one day this will really turn into a real story in a game smile.gif Can't wait to see the next chapter!

silentsharklol
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#418

Posted 19 March 2011 - 08:21 PM

Loved it icon14.gif

PresidentKiller
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#419

Posted 21 March 2011 - 06:01 AM

QUOTE (Secretagents1 @ Mar 18 2011, 19:56)
I have got to say, for like a week i have been looking through all the chapters. I really have to say, i'm really impressed, over 6 years and you're still going, i think this is really great. Vice City, San Andreas, Liberty City. All city's in 1 HUGE story, carry on dude! I hope one day this will really turn into a real story in a game smile.gif Can't wait to see the next chapter!

Thanks man. I admit it's been hard to keep this thing going. I wanted to quit many times as I thought people just wouldn't care anymore but I'm glad I was wrong and decided to finish this once and for all. The fact that this has finally been nominated to this year's forum awards (I'd really appreciate your vote in the "Best Story/Poem" category) is a testament to this.

The next chapter will be posted in the next couple of days. Hopefully I'll also have some new graphics to celebrate the forum awards' nomination. Stay tuned! wink.gif

PresidentKiller
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#420

Posted 26 March 2011 - 08:33 PM Edited by PresidentKiller, 09 July 2011 - 05:56 AM.

New chapter! Hope you like it. smile.gif


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Meet the Geek


Room 566, San Fierro Medical Center - Santa Flora, San Fierro - Winter 2001
Friday – 6:36 PM


Claude is getting ready to get out of the hospital. Ray helps Claude by packing up his things in a duffel bag.

Ray: “Are you sure you’re ready to leave?”

Claude: “I can’t stand this place! Those dreams were somewhat triggered by it.”

Ray: “Well, you haven’t been home in years. Do you have family or something you want to see before we go find that guy Barry was talking about?”

Claude: “I don’t have anybody Ray, that’s why I want to find Maria. She was the best thing that happened to me in a very long time. Catalina was just a bitch that treated me like a puppet, just like the scumbags that I’ve worked for...”

Ray gives a mean look to Claude.

Claude: “Some people are cool, of course. I really appreciate what you’ve done for me, but to be honest I think that leaving me to die in that place would have been better.”

Ray: “Don’t be so hard on yourself. I owed you my life after that incident with the CIA. I think we’re even now.”

Claude: “Yeah, I think so.”

Claude takes his duffel bag.

Claude: “Let’s go.”

Claude and Ray leave the room and the hospital. Barry and Shinji are waiting for them in a Sentinel outside.


Around the streets of San Fierro - San Fierro - Winter 2001
Friday – 6:50 PM


Barry is driving around the city. Shinji and Claude look out of their windows and appreciate the sights. In the meantime, Ray is getting impatient.

Ray: “So, where are we going, Barry?”

Barry: “This guy owns a small computer shop somewhere in a neighborhood called Garcia, but I need directions...”

Barry looks at Claude.
Claude: “sh*t, it’s been a while since I lived here. Let me remember...”

Claude thinks for a minute.

Claude: “Yeah, there’s a park and a baseball field in there. It’s very close to the Avispa Country Club; I know how to get there. We’ll reach the club in no time!”

Barry drives around listening to Claude’s directions until they reach the Country Club. Claude spots an elderly couple walking in front of the place and asks them how to get to Garcia. Once the couple gives them what they need, they get to the other side of the club’s golf course where they finally reach their destination.


Outside SF Computer Repair Services – Garcia, San Fierro - Winter 2001
Friday – 7:08 PM


Barry: “Well, this is it.”

Claude: “Are you sure?”

Barry: “Yeah, this is the place. Come on!”

Everybody leave the car and get into the store.


SF Computer Repair Services – Garcia, San Fierro - Winter 2001
Friday – 7:10 PM


The place has many computers and spare parts lying around. It’s quite dirty and very bad lit and there’s some electro music playing in the background.

Ray: “Holy crap, what is this place?”

Shinji takes a look around.

Shinji: “Cozy, isn’t it?”

Claude: “Hey Barry, where’s this guy?”

Barry: “Maybe we should call him with that buzzer over there.”

Barry approaches the buzzer and presses it, but nothing happens. Barry keeps pressing it but it appears that it doesn’t work at all.

Barry: “Well, we should try the old-school way…”

Barry takes a deep breath.

Barry (yelling): “NULL!! WHERE ARE YOU??”

Claude: “’Null’?”

Barry: “That’s his screen name.”

Claude: “Screen name? What the hell?”

Claude looks at Barry.

Barry: “I’ll explain later.”

A door opens in the back. A skinny bearded guy with glasses comes out of that room. He doesn’t seem to have showered in a while.

Barry: “Null? Is that you?”

Man: “Who dares to violate my peace and tranquility?”

Barry: “Null?”

Man: “Yes, it’s me. Who’s asking?”

Barry: “It’s me, Ozone!”

Ray can’t believe what he’s seeing.

Ray: “Ozone? For Christ’s sake…”

Null notices Ray’s skepticism.

Null: “Do you have a problem with that, mortal?”

Ray: “Mortal? What the f*ck is wrong with you?”

Barry quickly intervenes.

Barry: “Easy people, easy! Calm down!”

Ray: “I just want him to behave and talk like a normal person. What’s your goddamn name? The real one!”

Null stares at Ray.

Null: “Well, it IS my real name. I’m Dave Null. I legally changed it some time ago.”

Claude, Shinji and Ray seem skeptical.

Ray: “Whatever.”

Null: “So, what do you want, Ozone? I thought you lived in Vice...”

Barry: “I do, but me and my friends need your help.”

Null: “I can’t believe this! You just came all the way to the other side of the country just so I can do you a favor?”

Null seems upset.

Null: “I don’t even know you that well. What’s your real name?”

Barry: “I’m Barry Whitmore, ok?”

Null: “All right then. What do you need?”

Barry: “We need information, if you know what I mean...”

Null stares at Barry.

Null: “I don’t want to be rude, Barry, but I stopped doing that a long time ago.”

Null thinks for a moment.

Null: “A VERY long time ago...”

Barry: “Come on, man! We really need your help. There’re lives at stake here!”

Null: “My life is also at stake every time I try to do something like that! I learned that the hard way...”

Barry: “Please! We’ll make it worth your while!”

Null thinks for a moment.

Null: “All right, but I need you to do me a favor first...”

Claude (thinking): “Here we go again...”

Null: “There’s a man who’s been messing with me almost all my life. He’s ruined my plans and even my relationships with other people! We’ve competed against each other and, despite me winning every time, he keeps it going and going and I’m really sick of it.”

Claude: “So? Do you want him dead or what?”

Null looks surprised.

Null: “No! I don’t want him dead! I just want him to leave me alone for good...”

Claude: “Well, if he’s six feet under then he won’t be bothering you anymore...“

Null becomes desperate.

Null: “I DON’T WANT TO KILL HIM!”

Null clears his throat.

Null: “I just want you to take him away from here. Ruin his business, destroy his life... I don’t care what you do, just make him run away!”

Ray interrupts.

Ray: “Hang on a second. You’re the computer genius, or at least that’s what...”

Ray laughs a little.

Ray: “’Ozone’ said. How come you can’t destroy his life that way?”

Null: “Well, he’s like a ghost, you know? He did it on purpose just so I couldn’t touch him that way. I’m a weak skinny guy and I wouldn’t stand a chance against him in the real world, but I’d crush him like a bug in the digital world if he was there.”

Ray: “Oh, I see your point.”

Claude scratches his head.

Claude: “That’s just great. Now we need to catch a ghost...”



Read Chapter 54




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