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_NightHawk_
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#1

Posted 24 September 2005 - 04:32 AM

I've been doing some writing and I wanted someone other than my family to look at it.


So if you are serious and would like to look at a story about a Manager that takes over the Rockies in an attempt to turn their season around. He as to pull through all the problems of his players.


PM me if you are interested.

Iminicus
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#2

Posted 24 September 2005 - 07:54 AM

Just post it. That way it will get seen by more people. The worst that can happen is no one reads it.

Soul Survivor
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#3

Posted 25 September 2005 - 06:22 PM

Yea. Just post it. You never know what happenes untill it happens.

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#4

Posted 26 September 2005 - 12:49 AM

Actually the worst thing that could happen is someone stealing it....

Guybrush Threepwood
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#5

Posted 26 September 2005 - 05:58 AM

QUOTE (_NightHawk_ @ Sep 26 2005, 00:49)
Actually the worst thing that could happen is someone stealing it....

That only happens when it's an actual masterpiece.
And this:
QUOTE
a story about a Manager that takes over the Rockies


To me personally does not sound like something that'd make a bestseller. So just go on and prove me wrong. Post it.

Soul Survivor
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#6

Posted 27 September 2005 - 12:31 AM

Come on alot of people want to read it. They can't hurt you.

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#7

Posted 28 September 2005 - 01:48 AM

Alright I'll post it here in a minute, smile.gif

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#8

Posted 28 September 2005 - 02:03 AM

The Quest for Glory in October



After another disappointing season for the Colorado Rockies, the 56-year-old mastermind of Billy Gram bought the team hoping for a chance in October. His first order of business after buying the team was firing the manager, Clint Hurdle. Here are the details from the press conference-

Billy, now that you have fired manger Clint Hurdle, who are you going to have in replacement of him?

I feel with my background in baseball, I can manage this team to the top level.

What is your next order of business for the team?

That’s all the details I have for you at the moment.

As the reporters repeatedly yelled out questions that they wanted answered, Billy’s right-hand executive, Rick Borchard, asks, “You think you’ll be able to handle this Bill?”

Bill turns to Rick and replies, “I sure as hell hope so…”

Now Billy sits in his office, just after unpacking all of his goods that he will need for the upcoming season and he looks at the line-up that he has at hand.

His one and only player on the Rockies- Todd Helton- with his above average power ratings, and minimal players getting on in front of him, he’d need some new help. He knew just the guys he would need to call.

Then there is Clint Barmes. The one guy that no one outside of Bill believes in him. God knows the media thinks that is a stupid mistake. He has something that tells Bill that he has true heart and love for the game.

And on this note, Bill picked up the phone off the receiver and started to dial…

Billy Gram has called for another press conference just DAYS after he bought the team. He says that he will have really important news for the media. He it is now-

I have called you all here today for this press conference to tell you about our off-season pick-ups.

Every reporter in the room shifts to the edge of their seat.

We have picked up 9 different free agents. All of which you might have heard of before, Mac Jones…
Mac Jones was the highest rated draft member back in 2000, but he opted out 12 hours before the draft to pursue a college degree. He is a right fielder that could easily break Ichiro’s record of most hits in a season by a long shot.

…Coby Warren…

Coby Warren was an average player back in 2003, but was hit in the head by a brush pitch, and he retired. Most people think that he quit because he was scared of facing any pitcher. He might put up massive offensive numbers, but he will give a gold glove every year.

…Pedro Garcia…

Pedro Garcia will never give you a 100-mile per hour fastball, but he will give you the curveball that will make even the best hitter fold in the box. He has a mediocre slider and a below average circle change. He has yet to stay with a team because he has such a problem with his temper.

…Oliver Platt…

Oliver is the catcher that has never been able to keep a position on the team because he can never seem to keep his weight down and has always had problems with his left knee due to the amount of weight he has to support on each leg.

The reports start getting a dumb-found looks on their faces, realizing that Billy Gram must have lost his mind…

…Ben Walton…

Ben Walton, the guy that throws only the knuckleball. He could never get a team to check him out, due to the fact that it was all he could throw. He is also one of the few pitchers you’ll see hit three to seven homeruns a year.

The reporters seemed oddly pleased with that addition.

…Michael Simpson…

Michael Simpson is the amazing hitter that could come around on any fastball that pitcher out throw. He can even slow down the bat to hit the change up to the opposite field. But you throw him anything that has movement; he has never been able to hit it.

…Joe Bauer…

Joe Bauer, the one pitcher that will give a consistent fastball over 95. It’s said that he clocked out at 107 at the Devil Ray’s training camp back in 1999. But he got cut because he couldn’t throw anything that has movement.
… Harrison Law…

Harrison was a deaf-mute sensation that hit the majors back in 2001, but never able to stay in a line-up because it was so hard for himself to have any impact in the club in the house.

… and Barry Clark.

The reporter just exploded. Anyone who really knew anything about Clark’s past knew that you would never pick him up.

Barry Clark is a phenomenon! He can throw a 94+ mile per hour fastball, a curve ball that has mediocre movement, a good Circle Change, an above average Knuckle Curve, and his nastiest pitch, the Screwball. But his multiple run-ins with the law, and habitual drinking habits have made him cut from each and ever team he has ever had a chance to play for.

Billy, are you for real with Clark and Platt? Asks Riley D. Black, the sports writer that has always been on Gram’s case even when he was a player back in the 80’s.

Has real has you’ve never been Ri.

As Black took the major verbal back-hand, he replied with, Good thing you’re the GM too, because any smart GM would have booted you out of the office already!

I guess that’s why you’re still stuck sitting on THAT side of this podium!

As Black removed his jacket from that back of the chair he just moments ago sat in, he headed for the door as the other reporters continued to ask questions.

Meanwhile back at the podium, Billy Gram didn’t feel comfortable until Riley Black left the room.

-

Is there anything you’ll need before I head home for the night Bill? Asks Rick Borchard.

No, go home and get some good sleep tonight Rick. Tomorrow we get to go shopping. With that, Bill winked at Rick and opened his bottom desk drawer and stared at the cover of a Sears catalog.

-

Early the next morning, Billy called his executive Rick to tell him to get to the clubhouse as soon as possible. As he waited, to looked at the giant mirror that the designer put in his room, saying that it would make the room look bigger. He peered at the figure that seemed to glare back. Rick was older than he looked at 56. He’s been told that he looks ten years younger, but he still was graying at the temples, and keeps cleanly shaved, because he is graying in the facial hair too. He only stands a short, five foot, ten inches. But with his broad shoulders, he’s always looked taller and more beefy.
He heard the knock at the door and opened it to his surprise of Todd Helton, not Rick.

What do you think you’re doing? Helton said shooting in without welcome.

I’m doing what I think is best for the team. You need someone to be able to get on in front of you, I bet if you were on a higher caliber team such at New York or Atlanta, you’d have 120 plus RBIs and 40 Home runs.

But do you really think that you can get that from some dumb mute, a recovering achaholic, and a fat catcher? The only one that could help with my numbers is Jones!

You’re still answering to me! You’ll play my line-up, or you can sit the bench the whole season.

Both men were startled by a knock at the door. Am I interrupting anything here? Rick asked.

No, Todd was just leaving. I hope to see you at our first practice next Tuesday. You do know that the season starts in just 3 weeks! Billy said, flashing Todd a smile as he left the office.

What was that all about? Rick asks puzzled.

Oh, you know, players wondering where my head is. Rick states. I hope I know where my head’s at… He said hardly audible.

What was that last part Bill?

Nothing, just talking to myself. Let’s get going, I called the limo, it should be here by now.

As Rick and Billy returned from their little shopping trip, picking up small florescent lights to light the dug out so that Law could read their lips for when something was being addressed in the dugout.

Now, says Billy, call the maintenance crew, tell them what we have for them, and I’ll call the players to schedule a meeting.

I’m right on it sir.

Now to think of my Line-up Billy says aloud.

Well, of course Jones is going to bat leadoff, and start in right. I think I’ll have Law follow him, he has a good bunt with some good speed. Then Helton, Simpson, Barmes, Holliday, Platt, Warren, and the pitcher.

Now for my rotation… Jennings first, because he has the experience, Clark, Kennedy, Walton, and Francis. Now for my pin… I most defiantly have to put Bauer in as the closer, Fuentes as the set-up man, and Garcia as the spot starter.

Gram was pulled from his thoughts as a knock rang out in his quiet office. He looked up and was surprised by the figure of Barry Clark standing in his doorway…

-

Now Bill, you can’t just pull me outta retirement like that… I just finished my rehab assignment, and I have to stay on house arrest for another 3 months. That means I’ll be able to come back early June. Late May if I’m lucky!

Well… Gram hesitated … I guess I could talk to your officer, or the judge to see if we could give you some leeway. I’d really need you in my rotation.

I know, but from what I heard standing in the door, you’re leaving Garcia and that curveball in the pin?

Yes, but he’ll get starts, I’m going to have an unofficial six man rotation…

-

Here we are outside the Rockies locker room where the first team meeting is being going on for almost 25 minutes.

And just on the other side of the door, Billy Gram resumed with the team meeting.

I talked with Clark’s judge, and he’ll let him play, as long as I inform him of every meeting, practice, game, and anything of the sort.

Harrison Law stood up at started sign language

Wait Harrison, I don’t understand you… I’m sorry; I’m working on getting someone who can help but until… Pitcher Ben Walton cut gram short.

I understand some… He’ll have to spell out some words, but I get some of it.

So Law started fire of like he was a judo master with the way his hands fired around.

Okay, he asks “What if you start doing bad? Like we… umm… don’t win? How are you… going to… umm? Ben seemed to be having a tough time with some of the signals. Spell that out… fix it because you are… also the manager? Ben glanced at Harrison for approval, and then looked at Coach Gram for an answer.

I was hoping that it would never arise, but here is what I’ve come up with. Billy wiped his brow. Is it hot in here or what? But here is what I’ve come up with. If we ever fall more than 15… no 10 games less than .500 after the first month… I’ll resign as Manger and I have Clint Hurdle on speed dial to come back to work.

Seeming pleased everyone looked at each other, and Harrison Law returned to his seat.

-

It looks as though the team meeting is coming to an end, reported the ESPN reporter. Here comes Pedro Garcia! May we get a word with you Pedro?

Get that damn camera outta our faces. Pedro covered the microphone of the reporter and whispered some foul words in his ear.

I guess that is a rap. Claimed the reporter as Pedro walked away.

-

Here is an exhibition match-up between the Colorado Rockies and the Detroit Tigers. Starting on the hill for the Rockies is Barry Clark, the 29-year -old sensation from Huntsville, Alabama. On the hill for the opposing team is Jeremy Bonderman.

Here is the starting line-up for the Rockies-
Name: T/B # Pos.
Mac Jones R/L 24 RF
Harrison Law R/R 19 2nd
Todd Helton L 17 1st
Michael Simpson L/S 13 CF
Clint Barmes R 12 SS
Matt Holliday R 5 LF
Oliver Platt R 33 C
Coby Warren R 4 3rd
Barry Clark L/S 26 P



And here is the lineup for the Detroit Tigers-
Name: T/B # Pos.
Omar Infante R 20 2nd
Carlos Guillen R/S 9 SS
Ivan Rodriguez R 7 C
Magglio Ordonez R 30 RF
Rondell White R 24 LF
Carlos Pena L 12 1st
Craig Monroe R 27 CF
Brandon Inge R 15 3rd
Jeremy Bonderman R 38 P


You could defiantly tell that the new players where all out or there groove. Totally, they went 1 for 13, with the regulars going 3 for 12 with a double.
Brady Clark went 7 2/3, before leaving the game with a strained groin, and back spasms. Here is Coach Billy Gram on the game tonight.

How do you think your team has preformed?
I think that we looked like a bunch of tee-ballers! We had a few hits, but I think that it was to be expected.
Why did you leave Gram in there that long, it was just stupid! Black yelled above the other questioners.
Well you know what, you’re not that manager of this team, I wanted to see how long, and how well he could do… So when you are a manager, That’s when the finger started pointing, you can call my move stupid! Now, that’s all I’m going to say right now, I must go in, and address my thoughts to my players.

And with that Billy Gram shoved himself back from the table covered in microphones and voice recorder, as he stood he looked Black right in the eyes, and could see the devilish little mind of his churning up a one hell of a story.

-

Clark lingered around the practice, not being able to lift his left arm and the pain in his groin was hardly bearable for a man of his stature. Clark had been through a lot in his short life. He was orphaned at 7 minutes old. At 6 weeks old he had a brain tumor, which affected his frontal lobe. The doctor said thankfully to his age, they were going to be able to remove it without any sort of lose. But his adopted parents knew that he was not the same as he was before. He was once a very cheerful child, but then turned to a child that became fussy on any occasion, and he didn’t play well with others. At six, he started to play baseball. He started as the shortstop for his tee-ball team. He was the only one on the field that knew what he was doing. He’d throw it to the right base with great form and strength. He was later moved up to the next level because he was injuring kids by hurling that ball to hard. Although he never excelled at hitting, he went on to be the ace in high school and turn into a three time 3A All-American Pitcher and Shortstop. When he became a junior, he earned his license and earned a few tickets early and one or two minor possessions of alcohol. He dropped out of school when he turned 18, and went to work at the local convenient store. He was fired from there after stealing money out of the register. He went to a try-out for the Devil Rays where he earned a spot on their Double-A. He was called up 3 games into his season and had his first relief appearance. After his win, he went out with a couple of teammates to celebrate. He let himself go that night, and he still to this day can’t remember the accident. He hit a family of three head-on killing to of them and leaving the other in a two-month coma.
He then hit rock bottom. He was sent to jail for two counts vehicular manslaughter and had to pay for the funeral. He was sent to a minimum-security prison where he received treatment for his alcohol troubles. That was three years ago, and know he has a second chance, and he wasn’t going to blow it this time.


Don't be soft. bbq.gif

Guybrush Threepwood
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#9

Posted 28 September 2005 - 09:02 AM

QUOTE (_NightHawk_ @ Sep 28 2005, 02:03)
-Billy, now that you have fired manger Clint Hurdle, who are you going to have in replacement of him?

-You think you’ll be able to handle this Bill?”

-Bill turns to Rick and replies, “I sure as hell hope so…”

-Now Billy sits in his office

The quoted lines don't seem to fit the setting.
See, the first is a journalist (so I presume) calling him Billy. Why would he call someone he has no relation to Billy? It's insulting and really indecent.
Maybe an analogy to make it clear what I'm trying to say:
The president of the US gives a press statement and a journalist says "so hey Georgy... why did you punch Condoleeza Rice in the face."
He should either refer to them as Bill and Clint or as Mister Gram and Mister Hurdle.
The next person who should be on a first-name-basis with him calls him Bill. So it's pretty safe to say friends and family actually call him Bill instead of Billy.

And Bill turns to Rick whilst Billy sits in his office. Is the narrator confused wether to call him Bill or Billy?

I know it all sounds petty, but in real life you don't refer to people like that when you want to ask them a question (you need them as opposed to them needing you). Like I said, I''m being petty.

Otherwise it's a pretty decent story, but a little too cliche for my likings.

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#10

Posted 29 September 2005 - 01:15 AM

Right, I got ya now, it took me a read or two to understand what you're sayin' Thanks.

Iminicus
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#11

Posted 29 September 2005 - 07:03 AM Edited by Iminicus, 29 September 2005 - 08:05 AM.

I started reading it but the technical side of a baseball team got in the way. I'm glad your into baseball, however, remember that not all people are.

Your structuring isn't formal or correct. You need to use ' or " to show a speech, liek this:

'Hey Bill, how are you going to manage without....'

'Well,.....'

Those qoutation marks show the reader that they are reading a non narrative or a letter in the text. To me, not having them is like reading a text within the text i.e:

Once apon a time, Cinderalla recieved a letter. The letter said

Dear Cinderalla, etc.

... are not needeed.

QUOTE
…Coby Warren…

Coby Warren was an average player back in 2003, but was hit in the head by a brush pitch, and he retired. Most people think that he quit because he was scared of facing any pitcher. He might put up massive offensive numbers, but he will give a gold glove every year.


Either list them like this:

Coby Warren: Synopsis
Bobby Hunter: Synopsis
Clint Brown: Sysnopsis

Or just use a paragraph. On the note of paragraphs, You don't have any. That is the worst mistake you can make. No one likes reading fragmented sentences or paragraphs. If you are unsure on what a paragraph is I will tell you. A paragraph is a cluster or 3 or more sentences.

Write it first in Word or something, spellcheck it. Then post it.

I took the liberty of restucturing your story for you.

Shall post it when I'm done.

Here it is:

QUOTE
The Quest for Glory in October



After another disappointing season for the Colorado Rockies, the 56-year-old mastermind of Billy Gram bought the team hoping for a chance in October. His first order of business after buying the team was firing the manager, Clint Hurdle. Here are the details from the press conference-

Billy, now that you have fired manger Clint Hurdle, who are you going to have in replacement of him?

I feel with my background in baseball, I can manage this team to the top level.

What is your next order of business for the team?

That’s all the details I have for you at the moment.

As the reporters repeatedly yelled out questions that they wanted answered, Billy’s right-hand executive, Rick Borchard, asks, “You think you’ll be able to handle this Bill?”

Bill turns to Rick and replies, “I sure as hell hope so…”

Now Billy sits in his office, just after unpacking all of his goods that he will need for the upcoming season and he looks at the line-up that he has at hand.

His one and only player on the Rockies- Todd Helton- with his above average power ratings, and minimal players getting on in front of him, he’d need some new help. He knew just the guys he would need to call.

Then there is Clint Barmes. The one guy that no one outside of Bill believes in him. God knows the media thinks that is a stupid mistake. He has something that tells Bill that he has true heart and love for the game.

And on this note, Bill picked up the phone off the receiver and started to dial…

Billy Gram has called for another press conference just DAYS after he bought the team. He says that he will have really important news for the media. He it is now-

I have called you all here today for this press conference to tell you about our off-season pick-ups.

Every reporter in the room shifts to the edge of their seat.

We have picked up 9 different free agents. All of which you might have heard of before, Mac Jones…
Mac Jones was the highest rated draft member back in 2000, but he opted out 12 hours before the draft to pursue a college degree. He is a right fielder that could easily break Ichiro’s record of most hits in a season by a long shot.

…Coby Warren…

Coby Warren was an average player back in 2003, but was hit in the head by a brush pitch, and he retired. Most people think that he quit because he was scared of facing any pitcher. He might put up massive offensive numbers, but he will give a gold glove every year.

…Pedro Garcia…

Pedro Garcia will never give you a 100-mile per hour fastball, but he will give you the curveball that will make even the best hitter fold in the box. He has a mediocre slider and a below average circle change. He has yet to stay with a team because he has such a problem with his temper.

…Oliver Platt…

Oliver is the catcher that has never been able to keep a position on the team because he can never seem to keep his weight down and has always had problems with his left knee due to the amount of weight he has to support on each leg.

The reports start getting a dumb-found looks on their faces, realizing that Billy Gram must have lost his mind…

…Ben Walton…

Ben Walton, the guy that throws only the knuckleball. He could never get a team to check him out, due to the fact that it was all he could throw. He is also one of the few pitchers you’ll see hit three to seven homeruns a year.

The reporters seemed oddly pleased with that addition.

…Michael Simpson…

Michael Simpson is the amazing hitter that could come around on any fastball that pitcher out throw. He can even slow down the bat to hit the change up to the opposite field. But you throw him anything that has movement; he has never been able to hit it.

…Joe Bauer…

Joe Bauer, the one pitcher that will give a consistent fastball over 95. It’s said that he clocked out at 107 at the Devil Ray’s training camp back in 1999. But he got cut because he couldn’t throw anything that has movement.
… Harrison Law…

Harrison was a deaf-mute sensation that hit the majors back in 2001, but never able to stay in a line-up because it was so hard for himself to have any impact in the club in the house.

… and Barry Clark.

The reporter just exploded. Anyone who really knew anything about Clark’s past knew that you would never pick him up.

Barry Clark is a phenomenon! He can throw a 94+ mile per hour fastball, a curve ball that has mediocre movement, a good Circle Change, an above average Knuckle Curve, and his nastiest pitch, the Screwball. But his multiple run-ins with the law, and habitual drinking habits have made him cut from each and ever team he has ever had a chance to play for.

Billy, are you for real with Clark and Platt? Asks Riley D. Black, the sports writer that has always been on Gram’s case even when he was a player back in the 80’s.

Has real has you’ve never been Ri.

As Black took the major verbal back-hand, he replied with, Good thing you’re the GM too, because any smart GM would have booted you out of the office already!

I guess that’s why you’re still stuck sitting on THAT side of this podium!

As Black removed his jacket from that back of the chair he just moments ago sat in, he headed for the door as the other reporters continued to ask questions.

Meanwhile back at the podium, Billy Gram didn’t feel comfortable until Riley Black left the room.

-

Is there anything you’ll need before I head home for the night Bill? Asks Rick Borchard.

No, go home and get some good sleep tonight Rick. Tomorrow we get to go shopping. With that, Bill winked at Rick and opened his bottom desk drawer and stared at the cover of a Sears catalog.

-

Early the next morning, Billy called his executive Rick to tell him to get to the clubhouse as soon as possible. As he waited, to looked at the giant mirror that the designer put in his room, saying that it would make the room look bigger. He peered at the figure that seemed to glare back. Rick was older than he looked at 56. He’s been told that he looks ten years younger, but he still was graying at the temples, and keeps cleanly shaved, because he is graying in the facial hair too. He only stands a short, five foot, ten inches. But with his broad shoulders, he’s always looked taller and more beefy.
He heard the knock at the door and opened it to his surprise of Todd Helton, not Rick.

What do you think you’re doing? Helton said shooting in without welcome.

I’m doing what I think is best for the team. You need someone to be able to get on in front of you, I bet if you were on a higher caliber team such at New York or Atlanta, you’d have 120 plus RBIs and 40 Home runs.

But do you really think that you can get that from some dumb mute, a recovering achaholic, and a fat catcher? The only one that could help with my numbers is Jones!

You’re still answering to me! You’ll play my line-up, or you can sit the bench the whole season.

Both men were startled by a knock at the door. Am I interrupting anything here? Rick asked.

No, Todd was just leaving. I hope to see you at our first practice next Tuesday. You do know that the season starts in just 3 weeks! Billy said, flashing Todd a smile as he left the office.

What was that all about? Rick asks puzzled.

Oh, you know, players wondering where my head is. Rick states. I hope I know where my head’s at… He said hardly audible.

What was that last part Bill?

Nothing, just talking to myself. Let’s get going, I called the limo, it should be here by now.

As Rick and Billy returned from their little shopping trip, picking up small florescent lights to light the dug out so that Law could read their lips for when something was being addressed in the dugout.

Now, says Billy, call the maintenance crew, tell them what we have for them, and I’ll call the players to schedule a meeting.

I’m right on it sir.

Now to think of my Line-up Billy says aloud.

Well, of course Jones is going to bat leadoff, and start in right. I think I’ll have Law follow him, he has a good bunt with some good speed. Then Helton, Simpson, Barmes, Holliday, Platt, Warren, and the pitcher.

Now for my rotation… Jennings first, because he has the experience, Clark, Kennedy, Walton, and Francis. Now for my pin… I most defiantly have to put Bauer in as the closer, Fuentes as the set-up man, and Garcia as the spot starter.

Gram was pulled from his thoughts as a knock rang out in his quiet office. He looked up and was surprised by the figure of Barry Clark standing in his doorway…

-

Now Bill, you can’t just pull me outta retirement like that… I just finished my rehab assignment, and I have to stay on house arrest for another 3 months. That means I’ll be able to come back early June. Late May if I’m lucky!

Well… Gram hesitated … I guess I could talk to your officer, or the judge to see if we could give you some leeway. I’d really need you in my rotation.

I know, but from what I heard standing in the door, you’re leaving Garcia and that curveball in the pin?

Yes, but he’ll get starts, I’m going to have an unofficial six man rotation…

-

Here we are outside the Rockies locker room where the first team meeting is being going on for almost 25 minutes.

And just on the other side of the door, Billy Gram resumed with the team meeting.

I talked with Clark’s judge, and he’ll let him play, as long as I inform him of every meeting, practice, game, and anything of the sort.

Harrison Law stood up at started sign language

Wait Harrison, I don’t understand you… I’m sorry; I’m working on getting someone who can help but until… Pitcher Ben Walton cut gram short.

I understand some… He’ll have to spell out some words, but I get some of it.

So Law started fire of like he was a judo master with the way his hands fired around.

Okay, he asks “What if you start doing bad? Like we… umm… don’t win? How are you… going to… umm? Ben seemed to be having a tough time with some of the signals. Spell that out… fix it because you are… also the manager? Ben glanced at Harrison for approval, and then looked at Coach Gram for an answer.

I was hoping that it would never arise, but here is what I’ve come up with. Billy wiped his brow. Is it hot in here or what? But here is what I’ve come up with. If we ever fall more than 15… no 10 games less than .500 after the first month… I’ll resign as Manger and I have Clint Hurdle on speed dial to come back to work.

Seeming pleased everyone looked at each other, and Harrison Law returned to his seat.

-

It looks as though the team meeting is coming to an end, reported the ESPN reporter. Here comes Pedro Garcia! May we get a word with you Pedro?

Get that damn camera outta our faces. Pedro covered the microphone of the reporter and whispered some foul words in his ear.

I guess that is a rap. Claimed the reporter as Pedro walked away.

-

Here is an exhibition match-up between the Colorado Rockies and the Detroit Tigers. Starting on the hill for the Rockies is Barry Clark, the 29-year -old sensation from Huntsville, Alabama. On the hill for the opposing team is Jeremy Bonderman.

Here is the starting line-up for the Rockies-
Name: T/B # Pos.
Mac Jones R/L 24 RF
Harrison Law R/R 19 2nd
Todd Helton L 17 1st
Michael Simpson L/S 13 CF
Clint Barmes R 12 SS
Matt Holliday R 5 LF
Oliver Platt R 33 C
Coby Warren R 4 3rd
Barry Clark L/S 26 P



And here is the lineup for the Detroit Tigers-
Name: T/B # Pos.
Omar Infante R 20 2nd
Carlos Guillen R/S 9 SS
Ivan Rodriguez R 7 C
Magglio Ordonez R 30 RF
Rondell White R 24 LF
Carlos Pena L 12 1st
Craig Monroe R 27 CF
Brandon Inge R 15 3rd
Jeremy Bonderman R 38 P


You could defiantly tell that the new players where all out or there groove. Totally, they went 1 for 13, with the regulars going 3 for 12 with a double.
Brady Clark went 7 2/3, before leaving the game with a strained groin, and back spasms. Here is Coach Billy Gram on the game tonight.

How do you think your team has preformed?
I think that we looked like a bunch of tee-ballers! We had a few hits, but I think that it was to be expected.
Why did you leave Gram in there that long, it was just stupid! Black yelled above the other questioners.
Well you know what, you’re not that manager of this team, I wanted to see how long, and how well he could do… So when you are a manager, That’s when the finger started pointing, you can call my move stupid! Now, that’s all I’m going to say right now, I must go in, and address my thoughts to my players.

And with that Billy Gram shoved himself back from the table covered in microphones and voice recorder, as he stood he looked Black right in the eyes, and could see the devilish little mind of his churning up a one hell of a story.

-

Clark lingered around the practice, not being able to lift his left arm and the pain in his groin was hardly bearable for a man of his stature. Clark had been through a lot in his short life. He was orphaned at 7 minutes old. At 6 weeks old he had a brain tumor, which affected his frontal lobe. The doctor said thankfully to his age, they were going to be able to remove it without any sort of lose. But his adopted parents knew that he was not the same as he was before. He was once a very cheerful child, but then turned to a child that became fussy on any occasion, and he didn’t play well with others. At six, he started to play baseball. He started as the shortstop for his tee-ball team. He was the only one on the field that knew what he was doing. He’d throw it to the right base with great form and strength. He was later moved up to the next level because he was injuring kids by hurling that ball to hard. Although he never excelled at hitting, he went on to be the ace in high school and turn into a three time 3A All-American Pitcher and Shortstop. When he became a junior, he earned his license and earned a few tickets early and one or two minor possessions of alcohol. He dropped out of school when he turned 18, and went to work at the local convenient store. He was fired from there after stealing money out of the register. He went to a try-out for the Devil Rays where he earned a spot on their Double-A. He was called up 3 games into his season and had his first relief appearance. After his win, he went out with a couple of teammates to celebrate. He let himself go that night, and he still to this day can’t remember the accident. He hit a family of three head-on killing to of them and leaving the other in a two-month coma.
He then hit rock bottom. He was sent to jail for two counts vehicular manslaughter and had to pay for the funeral. He was sent to a minimum-security prison where he received treatment for his alcohol troubles. That was three years ago, and know he has a second chance, and he wasn’t going to blow it this time.


The last part about Clark really isn't need. I left it there for you to sort out. Also, you seem to forget who is who. I noticed several occasions where you list 2 or 3 different characters that haven't been mentioned or who are mentioned as being in a different club position.

QUOTE
Why did you leave Gram in there that long, it was just stupid! Black yelled above the other questioners.


I though Gram was coach/manager/owner?

_NightHawk_
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#12

Posted 30 September 2005 - 12:40 AM

Geez, no kidding... Want a spot at editor?

Not even my Lit. teacher saw that...

Guybrush Threepwood
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#13

Posted 30 September 2005 - 06:21 AM

QUOTE (_NightHawk_ @ Sep 30 2005, 00:40)
Not even my Lit. teacher saw that...

That's because they don't actually read the story. They grade on how much they like or dislike you.

Iminicus
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#14

Posted 30 September 2005 - 09:30 AM

I love Lit., when I did it. Besides, my mom has a major or masters in english lit. and writing. So she taught me. And I was blessed with great english teachers.

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#15

Posted 30 September 2005 - 10:23 PM

QUOTE (Guybrush_Threepwood @ Sep 30 2005, 06:21)
QUOTE (_NightHawk_ @ Sep 30 2005, 00:40)
Not even my Lit. teacher saw that...

That's because they don't actually read the story. They grade on how much they like or dislike you.

No, I just handed it to her and have her read it... but she's a a Thunder C*nt... I'm dead serious... She doesn't even have the guts the say my last name... And I get f*cking suspended for suposedly being disrespectful when I just call her the same way she does...




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