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The Tree House

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deathwishboy
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#1

Posted 01 September 2005 - 10:58 AM

Hey I wrote this short story a couple of weeks ago and I've been playing with it every since, please give me a shot and tell me what you truly think.

We pulled up to our new house on Maple Street and my mother sighed with exhaustion. She knew what was ahead of us. There’d be days of cleaning and unpacking, then of course, there was months of adjustments at our new school. It was never easy being the new kids. My Dad told my sister and me to cheer up and go check out the “Cool” Tree house in the backyard of our new house. It was a big yard with lots of thick grass and plenty of crab grass patches here and there. Way in the back there a huge oak tree covered by darkness of it’s large spider like roots which was otherwise a bright area. As we approached and looked up, there it was – the treehouse. My sister’s expression quickly changed from sunny to sullenm as we gazed upon the most dilapidated and rickety old treehouse you could ever imagine. And there seemed to be something inside.

Suddenly the tree house shook from the force of the creature moving inside it's walls. Dust feel through the tiny cracks between the floor boards, and just by luck stuck in my sister eye's. She screamed and ran around like a mad man, frantically rubbing at her eye lids trying to remove the dust and grim from her person. She then ran in shouting for mum calling her name over and over, great I thought now I was all alone with his...well whatever it was to battle alone.

The house shook again this time it shook so hard that some of the boards broke from the outside sending small blasts of wood chippings my way...I ducked and rolled covering my eyes (I didn't want the same fate as my sister). Just by pure luck or pure un luck I landed right by the steps leading up to the tree house. My senses said "no" but my curiosity said "GO on GO!". Besides if there was a monster in there my dad could take care of it, he could take care of anything.

He always told me at bed times about the tale when he battled and won against the boogeyman, the oldest and most powerful monster every, surely my dad could take care of this one critter in our Tree house. At least I hope he could. Making my way slowly up, and kept close to the tree making sure I didn't cause any sound or vibration so the monster didn't get angry again.

I made it to the last step and pushed my head up a few more inches and took a sneak peek at was to come. In the darkness I could only make out 2 shiny red eye's glowing like candles, but soon my eye's got used to the darkness and I got a better few of what was inside.

From what I could make out this monster walked on all fours like a dog, it's body was long and skinny (maybe this creature hadn't eaten in a week and now wanted me as it first course). I pushes these thoughts edging me to run away out of my mind and focused on the creature again. It seemed like it didn't have skin and wad just blood and thin flesh, then I noticed you could see it's brain through it's HEAD! all the little veins and arteries pumping away. It made me sick I was about to turn back then but I suddenly noticed something strange.

The way the monster was position it was as if it was scared it had it's head tucked away into it's long clawed arms which where also wrapped around it's legs. As if...it was crying, yes it was I could hear it's tiny sobs and tears dripping onto the the musty floor boards, I couldn't but feel sorry for the creature and so like you would do a human I moved over to it to comfort it.

Pulling myself up into the Tree house the creature automatically shot it's head up and looked at me, I froze in a sweat of fear but then it lower it's head into his arms and continued it's weeping. Making little baby steps and moved towards ti then when I came in hearing distance of the monster I began to speak (It was obvious this demon didn't like noise so I spoke very softly, trying not to annoy it)
"Hi there" I said stupidly
, what do you say to comfort a monster, in all the horror books at school they always say monsters enjoy pain and suffering and hated love and care. Alas I tried again.
"What's your name?" Nothing "Do you have a name?" The monster rose and shook it's head, well at least it could understand me I chucked under my breath.
"What's wrong with you?. please let me help". The creature passed for a moment then stretched out it's hand, at first I thought it was going to claw me but then I saw the nasty problem the creature had.

Stuck through it's left hand was a chunky wooden stake, A shiver ran down and up my spine. I noticed the blood patches around the floor where the creature was sitting. "Do you want me to pull it out?" I said hoping that if I did this the monster would leave our tree house, it nodded. I smiled. Taking a few more steps forward I knelt down right in front of the creatures arm, quickly grabbing around the stake I pulled hard, the monster screamed so loud it nearly broke my ear drums. I looked down and saw that the stake had moved a couple of centimetres one more go pull should do it.

Just when I was ready to give one more pull, the monsters second hand jumped out from the blackness and grabbed hold of my hand holding the stake. I could see fresh tears in it's eye's knowing that it didn't want me to try again. This time I spoke hard and true "It's got to come out...I can do it in one more pull if you let me". The creatures hand released mine and shrunk back into the darkness. Breathing out deep and wiping the sweat from my forehead I pulled a little too hard then I thought nessacery and went flying back with the stake firmly in my hand, I hit my head really hard on the floor and nearly passed out, if it where not for the screams of the monster that kept me awake.

A minute passed and the creature clamed down again pressing it's head into his' arms, "There" I said "That wasn't to hard was it". The monster suddenly outstretched it's hand palm open towards me, at first i was puzzled by this but then I suddenly knew what he wanted...he wanted me to shake hands with him!

Nervously I place out one shaking white hand to meet that of the monsters we where just about to clamp down are fingers when...My sister came running and back into the garden shouting and screaming about the monster, mum following her. The Monster let out a lions roar, without thinking I screamed turned to escaped only to be caught by the monsters mighty hands and pulled back into the darkness and super fast speed...then...darkness...pure darkness and the sound of my flesh being torn.

xxnofear617xx
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#2

Posted 01 September 2005 - 07:07 PM

wow that's pretty weird but cool in a kinda weird way too it's like sci-fi or something i'm guessing

ThaddeusMcKlown
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#3

Posted 01 September 2005 - 07:15 PM

Hmm.... never been much into sci-fi, but that was pretty good. I liked it.

2 Thumbs up.
-TMcK-

deathwishboy
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#4

Posted 01 September 2005 - 07:18 PM

QUOTE
wow that's pretty weird but cool in a kinda weird way too it's like sci-fi or something i'm guessing


Well Kinda it's more of mild horror I would say, I'll probably do a second chapter soon.

xxnofear617xx
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#5

Posted 01 September 2005 - 07:37 PM

you should make all that in Chapter 1 a dream the boy had thatd be cool...but i'm not the writer

deathwishboy
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#6

Posted 01 September 2005 - 11:01 PM

Problem being, If I made it all a dream where do I go from there. The Idea for the story is the monster and the boy, if I made it a dream I've got nowhere to go.


deathwishboy
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#7

Posted 02 September 2005 - 11:45 AM

Here's Chapter 2

I awoke, so cold, shivering icy even. But it wasn’t the outside area that was cold…it was my body itself. For some strange reason I was unnaturally cold, bitter bitter cold. I looked around the area I was in it was the tree house. Same dirty wooden boards, same old dry smell. But wait…no monster, it came rushing back to me, the blood, the monster my sister.

But where was the monster now? The tree house was empty as if the monster had never rested here at all. I checked over my body and apart from the coldness I felt, I was in perfect condition, my clothes hadn’t even been torn. Something stank and it wasn’t just the tree house. After a few moments rest I warmed myself up as best I could, then crawled my way over to the tree house entrance and climbed down the stick ladder I had used to climb up.

The first thing I recognised when I reached the safety of the ground was my sisters favourite bear “Teddy” (Amply named) laying on the ground a few feet away from me. I walked over and picked it up. On closer investigation I saw the toy was covered in Blood…human blood. When I realised what the bear was covered in I dropped it immediately disgusted and wiped my hands on my jeans. What had happened here? Had the monster got lose? That was a stupid question I realised after thinking about it.

As I walked up to by house I saw more evidence that the creature had been here. It had left huge dustbin lid size footprints imbedded in my new lawn, as if the ground had been torn up by the creature maybe because it was chasing something or someone? I made my way into the house and saw more blood spread along the walls and furniture, the kitchen was the worse. Every inch of it was drench in blood, I felt it, and it was still warm. I decided not to venture any further and began to look for my family.

I called there names for what seemed like hours as I tiptoed around the house, I didn’t want to touch any more blood again so I was very cautious where I stepped and places my hands. As we had just moved in I had little problem there. We had actually bought this house 3 mouths ago, but my dad had to stay in the area of our old house to finish work and my mother didn’t want to move on without him so we stayed. Some of are friendly neighbours had placed some of our precessions inside the house because it arrived early and didn’t want it to get stolen but with all the blood on it now I didn’t think we’d be using it again.

I reached the stairs, looked up and nearly fainted at the site I saw. My mother…was hung up at the top of the stairs attached by a hook someone had jammed into the ceiling. Her body was sliced very fine, she had one direct cut starting from her head to her groin it was so straight some with a ruler couldn’t have done better. She also had 2 other thicker cuts on both her arms reaching from shoulder to her middle finger. Her face was slumped down covered by her hair, but her clothes matched her perfectly it had to be her. So I couldn’t see what damage was done there, either way I’d seen enough.

I would of collapsed if I had not caught the stair railings in time. A huge burst of sickness immerged in my stomach and forced itself up my throat and out my mouth…I vomited and fell to my knees. It poured out of me like water and soon lost it’s density to the point where I really was just vomiting out water. After 5 minutes of this torture it stopped and I was left empty on the inside.

That was it for me I couldn’t bear to look for anyone else. I pulled myself up from this slump and made for the front door. But when I reached there I couldn’t, thick fresh blood lay on the door handle. I would of thrown up again except I had nothing left in my stomach to vomit out, So I fell, lying there in my own vomit coughing attempting to throw up but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. I was still icy cold but the vomit was warm how could this be? It almost felt good to have it dripping down the side of my face. Like a hot bath expect with bits of food and stomach acid.

I rolled over on my side so I could see my mother’s body I had to make sure it was her only by clothes had I recognized her it could be some else, I was lying to myself but it helps a little. But I couldn’t see her, not because I felt sick again or my fear wouldn’t allow me it was because the body wasn’t there anymore…it had gone. A shiver crawled done my spine and then back up again. Was the monster still inside the house?

No! I thought it couldn’t be I would of heard the monsters great bashing feet dragging my mother away. Only a human or something smaller could make such little noise. Maybe the monster was not the culprit after all. I had to find out where the body had gone, call it curiosity or stupidity but I needed to find out, my mind had already begun to calculate what would need to be done when this was all over. The funeral, the police all need to be taken into account and without a body they’ll just put my story done to pure fantasy and I’ll be shipped off to some foster parents. Either that or a mental hospital. I raised myself out of the puddle of vomit I laid in with all my strength, it was like I was lifting 3x my own body weight. My icy arms where going to snap I just knew it. However I managed it and using my nails I dug into the carpet crawled up the stairs.

My insides still hurt so much so crawling was agony. But my legs had become nub I couldn’t feel them It was like they where paralyzed, maybe the fear did that.
Whatever the cause I made the best of my pain (and my fear) and reached the top of the stairs. At the top a huge blood puddle remained from where my mother had hanged. I swore not to touch blood again it had become a fear now like spiders or ghost’s, I swallowed…or monsters. But it was now my only hope of finding out what happened to my mother and if anyone else was alive. I pulled my face and let my belly take the bloodstains. I could still smell it though; it smelt dry and dead leaves if that makes sense. I realised what it smelt like, it was the same smell as the Tree House.




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