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The Tree Cries

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Canofceleri
  • Canofceleri

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#1

Posted 04 June 2005 - 02:30 AM

The Tree Cries

The shadows fall,
they lie down for the sun.
Broken light tangles itself through the branches
and rests on the dirt before lonely wood.

The sun is eternal,
its light shrouds the planes that birthed new life.
Trickery, the illusion of being is reality of the fall.
And they've got you all fooled...

This Earth, this beautiful earth,
the innocence of day, but the inevitability of night.
Open waters, deserts unaccounted for,
I walk the Nile just to understand that...

In the end time is our prison,
and we are all but grains of sand.

Jamie O'Dea
  • Jamie O'Dea

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#2

Posted 04 June 2005 - 06:06 PM

bootaful, my good man, just bootaful! blush.gif

Luke2004
  • Luke2004

    You wanna leave? k. gtfo.

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#3

Posted 04 June 2005 - 06:59 PM

I don't like poems that don't ryme, but anyway, other than that it's quite good, well done. - Luke.

meta187
  • meta187

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#4

Posted 10 June 2005 - 03:01 PM

QUOTE (Luke2004 @ Jun 4 2005, 18:59)
I don't like poems that don't ryme, but anyway, other than that it's quite good, well done. - Luke.


user posted image

What an excellant return to form for you Can, I haven't seen you posting in a while so this was well recieved. Writing good and balanced poetry is difficult to say the least and some of the best out there doesn't ryhme in any way. This smacks of Haiku with some looser form to it and flowing imagery don't be discouraged by people not replying to this, it's viable, despite poetry being a subjective kind of thing (art).

Canofceleri
  • Canofceleri

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#5

Posted 11 June 2005 - 03:33 PM

QUOTE (meta187 @ Jun 10 2005, 11:01)
QUOTE (Luke2004 @ Jun 4 2005, 18:59)
I don't like poems that don't ryme, but anyway, other than that it's quite good, well done. - Luke.


user posted image

don't be discouraged by people not replying to this, it's viable, despite poetry being a subjective kind of thing (art).

Oh, thank you. I'm not discouraged at all. I've come to realize a long time ago that the people in this forum reply with positive feedback to pure crap and then basically shun any material that requires above a third grade education to read and understand.

Maybe I should just conform to writing GTA3 prequels and forget about basic grammar and English skills, maybe then I'd get it...

These f*cking retarded forum kids. biggrin.gif

meta187
  • meta187

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#6

Posted 12 June 2005 - 05:27 PM

QUOTE (Candarelli @ Jun 11 2005, 15:33)

These f*cking retarded forum kids. biggrin.gif

Big Ditto. monocle.gif




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