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The "Hilarious Quotes" Thread

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WorldofCog
  • WorldofCog

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#1621

Posted 20 June 2013 - 09:25 PM

Some girl at the beach while fighting me:

"Get ready for a complementary colonic!"

King Andreas
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#1622

Posted 30 June 2013 - 12:28 PM

"Ryder, not this again."

"It ain't me, fool."

A sardonic, indirect admission always brings me forth giggles.

SpFusionBwner
  • SpFusionBwner

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#1623

Posted 01 July 2013 - 09:53 PM Edited by SpFusionBwner, 01 July 2013 - 10:09 PM.

"Hey Jeffery, I thought you was going to, uh, college." - Smokes
"I'll have two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, one with cheese, and a large soda." - Smokes

GoldenBlade
  • GoldenBlade

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#1624

Posted 01 July 2013 - 10:20 PM

QUOTE (SpFusionBwner @ Monday, Jul 1 2013, 17:53)
"I'll have two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, one with cheese, and a large soda." - Smokes

One of my all-time favorite quotes.

Jioyt
  • Jioyt

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#1625

Posted 08 August 2013 - 10:46 AM

At the end f cut throat business: CJ: hey Jeffery,go get lunch
OGLOC; You get lunch! lol.gif

its just the way they sat it that gets me

Mr. Rocko
  • Mr. Rocko

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#1626

Posted 08 August 2013 - 10:47 PM Edited by nute101, 08 August 2013 - 10:50 PM.

San Fierro Cop with the Mustache:

*High-Pitched Italian New York accent*

"When you see this badge, step the hell aside!"

Also

"After I kick your ass, I'm gonna f*ck it''
  • ten-a-penny likes this

RandomStunt
  • RandomStunt

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#1627

Posted 09 August 2013 - 07:46 PM

QUOTE (nute101 @ Thursday, Aug 8 2013, 22:47)
San Fierro Cop with the Mustache:

*High-Pitched Italian New York accent*

"When you see this badge, step the hell aside!"

Also

"After I kick your ass, I'm gonna f*ck it''

"When i'm done with you.. huhuhuhuhu.."

CameronTheRyan
  • CameronTheRyan

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#1628

Posted 13 August 2013 - 05:39 AM

How could anyone not post the Pedestrian that says

"I smoke because it gives me knowledge!"

Classic.

CameronTheRyan
  • CameronTheRyan

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#1629

Posted 13 August 2013 - 05:48 AM

QUOTE (DropThaSystem @ Monday, Jul 1 2013, 22:20)
QUOTE (SpFusionBwner @ Monday, Jul 1 2013, 17:53)
"I'll have two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, one with cheese, and a large soda." - Smokes

One of my all-time favorite quotes.

I have to admit when I heard that the first time I was cracking up!

MisterFR3SH
  • MisterFR3SH

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#1630

Posted 13 August 2013 - 06:11 AM

"Glory-Hole, where strangers become friends." - Radio Station commercial.

Every time I heard that, I would laugh my ass off.
  • ten-a-penny likes this

ten-a-penny
  • ten-a-penny

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#1631

Posted 21 August 2013 - 04:32 PM

tenpenny's hilarious quotes...
" I can sh*t on you from such a height, you'll think God himself took a crap on you"
" See ya 'round, like a doughnut, Carl!"
" Mmm... Smells good. What's cooking? Where's mine?" *talking about the PCP ryder was making tounge.gif *
"...so behave nigga!" (when CJ get captured)

if only I can get my hands on ACE COMBAT 5 and make it on the PC...then mod it and change that whack-ass,old-school BLAZE and put frank in his place...(and either, saving davenport from his death or replacing him with CJ and replacing swords-man with him)

Riding shotgun
  • Riding shotgun

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#1632

Posted 21 August 2013 - 09:56 PM

SF cop "stop and we can hold hands and talk about it!"


ten-a-penny
  • ten-a-penny

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#1633

Posted 09 September 2013 - 11:50 AM

"Glory-Hole, where strangers become friends." - Radio Station commercial.

Every time I heard that, I would laugh my ass off.

in everytime I hear that, I cry almost to death!

remind me of journey home, a level in ACE COMBAT 5 when chopper dies :cry: ;_;


danik18
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#1634

Posted 06 October 2013 - 08:50 AM

"I haven't f*cked anybody over in my life who didn't have it coming to them"

Tony,the parrot.


Revolver1
  • Revolver1

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#1635

Posted 06 October 2013 - 03:30 PM

Ryder: ''CJ, are you gonna crash the car again?"

CJ: "f*ck you Ryder"

or something like that, I can't remember clearly but it sure made me laugh.


Aintgottime2bleed
  • Aintgottime2bleed

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#1636

Posted 06 October 2013 - 06:12 PM

HEY I CAN SEE MY HOUSE FROM HERE by police helicopter ( maverick )

classic


TheKryptonite
  • TheKryptonite

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#1637

Posted 07 October 2013 - 10:04 PM

"After I kick your ass I'm gonna f*ck it."


mnmn1234
  • mnmn1234

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#1638

Posted 08 October 2013 - 02:36 PM Edited by lil weasel, 08 October 2013 - 04:21 PM.

"Why do i have to do all the of the shooting?" [Edit: to correct quote {lw ]

 

"Because i am a pacifist!"

 

Police Heilcopter


King Andreas
  • King Andreas

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#1639

Posted 10 October 2013 - 08:01 AM

"Hey, homie, maybe you should go take up golf or some sh*t like that", says the white shirted Azteca NPC, upon failure of the Cesar Vialpando mission.


markusizr
  • markusizr

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#1640

Posted 08 November 2013 - 08:32 PM

my fav qutoe this 

mow i have a steall another a car


Jioyt
  • Jioyt

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#1641

Posted 30 November 2013 - 09:12 AM

My sig

Arsen Vitiuk
  • Arsen Vitiuk

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#1642

Posted 30 November 2013 - 09:57 AM

"She's cute!"
"HE is over there! He's a guy!" - Police Chopper dialogue

The Truth: That is a sure way to hell man... That, or 15 microdots and an ounce of mescaline...
- "End Of The Line"

Carl: Can you shoot?
The Truth: Shoot? I'm a hippie! The only thing I've shot is acid! I remember a guy who snorted it once. Said he thought the moon was a rainbow and his nose was a kangaroo!
- "Are You Going To San Fierro?"

Jethro: Do the polar bears sh*t in the woods?
The Truth: I don't know, but they were known to be sh*tting in the liquor tent, if I remember it right
- "Wear Flowers In Your Hair"

Toreno: But that's fine, that's just fine, because your brother is getting a new cellmate tonight. Horse Cock Harry. And I'm sending over a present, a little birthday present. A big tub of lube!
Carl: *don't remember what he said exactly*
Toreno: Sorry Carl, I can't hear you. All I hear is your brother screaming, as eight kilometers of cock find their way up his ass. "AWOOWOOWOO!" - That's your brother, OK? No big problem!
- "Learning To Fly"

Chips237
  • Chips237

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#1643

Posted 30 November 2013 - 06:24 PM Edited by Chips237, 30 November 2013 - 06:24 PM.

"Does the pope sh*t in the woods?"

Classic.


TovarishTony
  • TovarishTony

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#1644

Posted 03 December 2013 - 10:34 AM

All we had to do was follow the damn train CJ!


Jioyt
  • Jioyt

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#1645

Posted 08 December 2013 - 01:58 PM

If I'd wanted naggin, I'd buy a clockwork wife

/Cj in one of Ryder's missions/

The conversation in my signature

MrPeteyMax
  • MrPeteyMax

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#1646

Posted 11 December 2013 - 09:18 AM

 

Anything from Mr. Orange 12.


OG Viking
  • OG Viking

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#1647

Posted 26 February 2014 - 05:09 PM Edited by OG Viking, 27 February 2014 - 08:28 PM.

Angry biker cop:
"It's jail time, call a lawyer!" I've only heard it once and I believe it was when he busted CJ, or perhaps he just chased CJ. I laugh every time I think of it. :lol:

Angry biker cop:
"Start naming names, asshole!" When busting CJ. :D

Sweet:
"I prefer the other side up." When CJ had flipped his car.

Rerxelend
  • Rerxelend

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#1648

Posted 27 February 2014 - 06:16 PM

Pretty much anything that Hans Oberlander says




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